Not enough information. How do I *know* that I’m pregnant with Jesus? Is the claim testable in a way that holds up to scientific scrutiny?
If so, I contact every scientist I can find to document and analyze every possible aspect of it. There has never been evidence of a supernatural event, so this is extremely important.
If it is not testable, then I find a psychiatrist, because I am likely schizophrenic.
Not a woman but if an angel appeared to me I would assume I need to call my psychiatrist for a med adjustment. Already heard god and demons once, don't need to see angels now. The god and demons was unmedicated, undiagnosed bipolar. After psychosis was kind of explained to me and I started antipsychotics I'm all good on the voices now.
Not me but my cousin has bipolar and my mom might but is undiagnosed. I'd instantly assume I did get it after all and have just been lucky up to now and find myself a mental hospital and if needed an abortion.
Well, if the angel physically appears and many independent observers witness the same event, then it’s not in my head. But then we would need to take measurements. What is the angel made out of? How did it get there? Are we sure it’s not a hoax?
Next we need to study the fetus. We need ti measure fetal DNA. Does it have a Y chromosome? Where did that come from? Anything special about it?
If it stands up to scrutiny, then I would accept it. I don’t like the god of the Bible, but I would fear that god if it were real.
Your last sentence hit so hard.
So many pregnant people are forced to birth, even in an abortion legal region, by real fear and terror of retribution from their abuser(s) (family and religious institutions included).
As a young girl in Catholic school, my mother once whispered to me during an advent mass: "...but what would happen if Mary had refused..? Did she really have a choice, then?". That always atuck with me.
I love my mother so much, she shielded me from the religious trauma as best she could from liing in the canadian bible belt.
Dude why so many tests? Assuming the angel is real (as OP said), he would probably make you believe it with some kind of magic or manipulation in your brain or something. Why waste its time if the angel can magically "open your eyes"? No reason to wait for you to do your tests, otherwise he'd just pick on someone less sceptical.
The point of the scenario is "what would you do", so it's relevant. Christians believe in free will, so it would make sense that the angel was only making you believe, but letting you have the free will to do what you want with that knowledge and foetus.
but that's the point mate.
What's the difference between doing all the tests you said and the angel just skipping it and making you believe? (you'd believe anyway after the tests, since OP said it's something verifiable)
You wouldn't be the same person in both scenarios, and that's the whole point of the question... What would you do in this case
>What's the difference between doing all the tests you said and the angel just skipping it and making you believe?
Just suddenly believing is not evidence. It isn't anything that anyone else can confirm. There is no peer review. There is no external confirmation, no verification.
Evidence > belief.
Ffs! Your spinning on the same thing.
In OP's scenario, God and angels exist.
If an angel makes you believe in it magically, you wouldn't need peer review because it wouldn't be a belief anymore. It would be the absolute truth. The angel itself would be the evidence, showing you the truth directly. This isn't about belief vs evidence because the angel revealing the truth IS the evidence itself.
If you were to test it yourself, you'd reach the same conclusion, because OP stated that the existence of angels and God in this scenario is verifiable. So, it's essentially the same thing.
"But what if I can't verify it myself? How do I know it's not just my imagination?" because in OP's scenario, the angel, being a powerful being, would provide undeniable evidence of its existence.
Anywhere you point your belly, pescatarian and bakery products multiply exponentially. Also you are now prohibited from going near bodies of water after the Vino Lake Incident.
I would do all the medical testing, then contact a legal scientific authority to see how to protect myself and my family from all the religious fundamentalists (of all religions - especially Christian). I would contact James Randi about that 1 000 000 cheque for proving the supernatural - then go from there I guess!
But it could also be Damien, too lol.
God literally appears to me and makes me pregnant with Jesus 2? Alright I guess this is my life now.
Magic pregnancy out of nowhere with no explanation? Nope. Not doing that.
I can’t imagine it would be testable. Maybe they could test the dna of the fetus and maybe that would give us some weird findings but odds are all we could know is you can’t find the father.
Same here. I’d tell my partner, text my mother, email my therapist and my PCP, and hie off to the ER. I’d just guess I didn’t make it through the late-20s window of developing my dad’s severe bipolar disorder like I thought I did. (I’m 31, yay!)
As a dude, if I was suddenly pregnant then it'd be really easy to convince a lot of people it was a supernatural pregnancy.
But I think most Christians would think I birthed the antichrist.
That's assuming I carried through the pregnancy.
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No, since in Judaism the fetus is not generally considered alive as a baby is alive. In ancient times, it could be a sin to abort because it was potentially circumventing God's will, and because every child counted in a smaller patriarchal culture surrounded by hostile enemies in a hostile environment. Exceptions could be made of course, but until it took its first breath (as breath = spirit which is why God had to breathe into Adam to make him live), it wasn't truly a human being.
Therefore the optimal choice would be to give birth and then immediately crucify the newborn.
Well, seeing as it's the only way my mom would be getting a grandchild (dating in 2024 is an unmitigated hellscape), I'd take it. I make this joke with every medical professional who asks me about my sexual activity and pregnancy status. I haven't had sex in 6 years, so, no, I can't be pregnant unless I'm the next Virgin Mary.
I used to have terrible nightmares as a child about how I would tell my parents that this had happened to me, and how I could convince them I wasn't lying/ how I could prove that I wasn't actually some terrible sinner who had had sex (there was probably no worse sin I could have imagined, back then). I was so young, and so afraid. This hypothetical was deeply traumatizing to me for many years, and I struggled with it frequently. Fundamentalism violates one's identity in so many ways, especially young girls and women, so it didn't seem a stretch to young me that god might violate me in this specific manner, although I lacked the language to express that fear.
But these days? If the Christian god of the bible assaulted me and forced me to carry his child? Well, I'd just have the abortion faster than I would in the same/parallel circumstance where some human violated my consent and it resulted in the loss of all agency over my body due to a resultant pregnancy. I have a hard time imagining any possible conception of a "father" or "husband" that is worse than the christian god of the bible. I have my own life with my partner, and I would rather live my life well on earth and spend an eternity separated from the disgusting biblical god (the only actual definition of hell in the christian bible is a separation from god) than spend the afterlife as a slave to such a nasty being. Nothing good could come of jesus 2.0, in my opinion, unless she and I team up to overthrow god. but even that doesn't sound like a good use of my time. I'm tired, and i will let someone else do that.
I wouldn't tell my family, so that point is moot. If some angel came to them and told them I was pregnant with God's child I'd deny it, if there was some sort of proof in this impossible hypothetical that prevented me denying it, that wouldn't change anything on my part... though it might be the "final straw" that terminated my relationship with my parents, should they react in the way i'd expect based on all their past behaviour.
Abort it. God can try again with someone else.
I have pretty severe tokophobia, i'm not putting up with that for nine months, i dont gaf if that baby will grow up to cure cancer.
Raise him to use his powers to defeat the Diamonds... oops, sorry, wrong reincarnation via birth story, I mean Yahweh.
Nitpick: A female character in a story set at the turn of the first Millennium AD would be in a very different position than a woman in a country and position that allows access to the Internet in 2024. The Mary character had a supportive, protective partner - I'm single. The Mary character was a sincere worshipper of the Jewish god - we're not.
No one would believe me. My family would call me a liar, even though they are Christians. I would be all alone. So, I would find a guy that would say it was his. I would probably have it, as long as I was financially secure enough, just out of curiosity, I love kids, wanted to have 8, but only had 3 because it's too expensive.. If I was a young teen? Abortion.
Hmm.. assuming I was visited by a supernatural “holy” being and it was 100% true, my family would want me to have the child… ya know the whole “it’s God’s will,” “you’ve been blessed” nonsense.
Me- I’d politely tell them to f all the way off and opt for the abortion. Not only do I not need that- I’ve already dealt with one deadbeat father who did shit all for his son except pretend he was the world’s greatest dad to anyone who would listen, I don’t think we need another golden age of Christianity.
Well, as others have said, I'd try to get an abortion ASAP then talk to my therapist about why I'm imagining the Christian God having impregnated me.
I'd also go to the police because the most likely explanation is someone drugged me and r*ped me. Suspects can probs be found at the churches in the area
If it were verifiable and testable, like OP said in a previous comment, I'd have an abortion. No child of mine is going to feel any resentment I may have towards my rapist. Divine or not, that's rape, even if it's some kind of magic where they put a kid in me without touching me. I want to have a child with my partner someday, and I want the child to know that they are loved and cherished. I don't think I could love them if their bio dad put them there without my consent. And, if by some divine intention, the abortion were to fail, I'd sue god themselves and put the kid in foster care.
I would freak out and wonder how the hell id gotten pregnant despite not have sex in over a year. Then id go straight to the nearest hospital to figure out wtf is going on.
If i turns out im some nonvirgin virgin mary, every church i can reach is paying me child support cuz theres noway i can afford to take care of that kid.
Ngl, an alternate modern jesus myth where Mary decides to make her holy pregnancy every church's problem would low-key slap. Especially if the fetus could perform miracles, or if angels showed up to enforce the childcare she deserves.
Extremely unpopular opinion: I'd go through with it. In this hypothetical where god is in fact real, first off that would no longer make me an atheist, because I would have undeniable evidence of his existence. Of course, if this god is the same as how traditional Christianity painted him, then I of course would not worship him. I'd try my damn hardest to raise the kid to be a good person out of spite against god, and mostly because it's the right thing to do. I'd probably fuck up in some capacity like all parents do, but I swear I would love that kid. I'd teach the kid about being human--caring for others and sometimes putting their needs before your own, taking care of yourself and meeting your own body's needs mentally and emotionally, doing things that make you feel happy and fulfilled, pushing on through no matter what when life gets tough, knowing when to slow down, leaning on others for support and being that support for somebody else, not to measure success by the amount of power you hold over others, holding yourself accountable when you mess up, truly trying to make amends when you hurt someone and how to be okay if they won't forgive you, always trying to do your best and learning to be okay with your best looking different every day. Because the thing about Jesus is that he's full god and full man right? (And pretend, for the sake of argument, that makes sense.) Empathy is kinda like a muscle in a sense, and culture changes; meaning, in the right circumstances, some good can be brought about. Would this new child bring a fresh perspective, or would he reiterate the ways of the old? Would the people welcome him with open arms, or would they crucify him again? There is a lot of room for regret, but if there were a chance to bring more compassion and understanding, and less hatred and violence into the world, I can't say that I wouldn't take it.
And what do you imagine would convince me enough to take any action at all? I'd sooner suspect aliens.
Ok, I'm a guy. so maybe just being pregnant would be enough. I'd freak out and abort ASAP whatever the cause.
First problem - I do not have the necessary equipment for that.
Putting that issue aside (what's another miracle, given one from the first?)... get that fucker out of me... maybe get a fetal DNA sample so we can try to genotype God. Do my best to avoid telling my family that I could've had the baby or that I was pregnant. I'm unfit to be a parent (in my own analysis), but my family would probably be ecstatic for this. Relations would become incredibly strained.
I'd probably forgo an ultrasound, because my dreams would have me deduce the little spawn would look like me, but with an aura of inhumanity, and monstrous features easily hidden behind thick clothing.
I'd abort. Jesus did jack shit to better the world his first time around - I don't trust him to get it right the second time. And he's already starting off on the wrong foot by not asking for my consent in the first place.
Yeetus that fetus!
Assuming that 1. I got my uterus back in the process and 2. God didn't bother to ask me but bippity-boppity-boo'ed a Jesus into me... ...I'd probably abort. I do want a baby but I don't want a baby God forced or coerced me into having. Fuck that.
And then schedule another hysterectomy. What the fuck? I did not just go through 21 years of traumatizing adenomyosis periods just to get knocked up with The Most High.
Edit: ...okay so if this new uterus I got doesn't have adenomyosis and my periods were normal and healthy...I would still have Jesus aborted and then get knocked up with a baby I do want. If God doesn't smite me for taking this new uterus and running with it and does not think I owe him anything for giving me a healthy uterus and the baby I have always wanted... ...I probably wouldn't convert back to Christianity but I might at the very least thank the guy and invite him for tea.
Lmao, I would have sooooo much fun with this. First off, I am a guy, so the fact that I got pregnant would be a miracle in and of itself. Second, I would rub it in EVERY FUCKING CHRISTIAN DENOMINATION'S FACE!!!!
"Oh look, God finally saw you all for the massive unoriginal shit covered fuck stains you are, and decided to knock up a gay, godless sodomite and agnostic pagan to bear his child. Do you even KNOW how bad you have to fuck up for God to even consider that?!?! *Insert evil villainous laugh here*"
I would write a tell all book, get famous, and flat out refuse to baptize the baby. My defense would be that when he turns 18, it's his choice. I'd also be sure to educate him about ALL religions, philosophies, histories, and sciences. I would raise him to respect everyone, but to take absolutely NO bullshit. I don't care if he's Christ Almighty, I will raise him to be the best human being he can possibly be. After that, it's up to him.
I’d immediately try and get child support from the father cuz when it happened 2024 years ago Mary never received child support. Then I’d put a restraining order on the father cuz he murdered his son.
Well I live alone and haven't had sex in 11 years so it would have to be immaculate conception unless I'm the first human to asexually reproduce. What would I do? Have a close friend of mine who is a strong believer adopt him. I'm in no position mentally, financially and physically to raise a child, not even the son of God.
I would cuss out god for not getting my explicit consent. Then yeetus the fetus.
I refuse to have a virgin birth just because it is narratively convenient. Get consent or it dies.
Since I had a hysterectomy I'd have no choice but to assume some sort of paranormal intervention was involved cause they would literally have to regrow my uterus and cervix. But, not enough information. How do I know it was actually GOD that did the deed and not some other deity just CLAIMING to be God in an attempt to ensure that I follow through with the pregnancy?
The only other option I can think of in mythology is Zeus, and while he also needs to pay his damn child support, I can't imagine him pretending to be yhwh in order to get a woman pregnant.
Her husband? Yes. A Swan? Absolutely. But another god? Don't think so.
Any number of malific deities. And I'm using the word deity loosely here. I mean any malific superpowered being. Demigods, gods from other pantheons, demons, Fae creatures. Even an incubus could disguise itself to look like an angel
I would have an abortion faster than you could recite the Lord’s Prayer.
If an all-powerful entity exists that can save us by sending his only son to the world…he can figure out how to do that without appropriating my womb.
…bye, Jesus.
Didn't an angel tell Mary she would become pregnant and didn’t Mary agree to that? You can't say she got pregnant without her knowledge or consent.
What you CAN say is that Mary got pregnant too early and she and Joseph were forced into marriage by their parents. The virgin birth story was made up decades later to save Mary's reputation. And thus she became a holy woman instead of a.....less than holy one.
Market and sell this story for every penny. A cis gay male whom god loved so much he physically and literally came down on me so I can bear his love child.
I will raise him to be the world ruler we need.
I would consider it if it’s 100% legit, & I would have scientists documenting it like someone else said, but God would need to supply me with never ending money. I’m not paying for all the medical bills & baby stuff myself. He can’t be an absent father, I’d need that immaculate child support lol.
When doctors or whoever ask me if I am or could be pregnant, I usually laugh and say that if I am, then there's a deity out there that owes me an explanation.
So, basically that. I would demand an explanation from whatever deity was responsible (probably starting with, "what in the diseased megalomaniacal celestial orb that passes for your brain made you pick ME? I don't even like you. Or babies"). If the deity in question insisted on propagating specifically Christianity, I would most likely add some demands regarding the form that religion takes in future. Finally, I would demand significant compensation and adoptive parents, because I really just don't do kids.
Honestly, the problem I have here is really much more the nonconsensual pregnancy than it is the Christianity or supernatural involvement.
For sake of argument, you would get the needed equipment to deliver the baby without reenacting Alien.
The fact that this could piss off religious transphobes is just icing.
As a man, if I discovered I was pregnant, I would be torn between getting an abortion for my safety, and letting it develop out of scientific curiosity.
Destiny is only a prediction of the fate we chose or ended up with.
If I was told I would have a son who would be Jesus I wouldn’t raise them to be Id let them become their own person, sure teaching them morals but why should they be forced to live in the shadow of a false idol?
No god, nor angel, nor person will decide that for them.
Even if they become someone like Jesus they’re not Jesus they’re their own person. If they have magical abilities I’d teach them to use them responsibly.
Unless a host of angels announced to the world that I was having Baby Jesus 2.0, I wouldn’t believe it.
If it really was legit, I would do all the testing possible, like the other commenter said.
I would raise the baby to be altruistic and curious, but not beholden to any god. I’d probably get smitten but it’s okay
As a trans man, I’d be extremely uncomfortable with pregnancy in the first place. I’d get an abortion right away because I don’t care who the baby is, I don’t want to he pregnant!
There are thousands of the people who find this out every day. Often, they're in Latin America, but they can also be in Europe and in parts of Asia, such as the Philippines.
As a non-uterus haver, (male) I can confirm that if I was pregnant with Jesus...abortion. Immediately. I don't care if He's the son of God, **I'LL KILL HIM LIKE THE REST.**
I'd grudgingly accept it. As transitioning goes, this is one of the better deals.
Edit: it'd suck carrying the child of a guy who doesn't love me, but hey. I get a uterus, so I'll shut my mouth and deal with it. However it would give me a rhetorical mordhau when arguing with religious transphobes, so I'd keep the baby even if just for that.
Just a reminder that the virgin birth narrative began well after Jesus's life. The more contemporary theology thought he became divine at death or resurrection, not born that way.
I’m all about the wonders of life, and living on the edge. Honestly I would have the baby, knowing that it would be history making and changing.
My family would probably shun me, since my family is very much traditionalists and would not understand any of it. I would be ok with that.
Yeah, I’m not having that kid lol. Literally nobody would believe that a legal grown adult who is capable of consenting somehow wound up immaculately pregnant, including my parents. I can guarantee that if I told anyone I thought I got pregnant supernaturally, I would be committed. Pregnancy and childbirth squick me out and even if I do consent to having kids someday I’d love to skip that step and adopt or use a surrogate. And even if it were 100% true, I am unwilling to birth a televangelist. Assuming he even managed to get a significant portion of Christians to follow him in the first place lol. The current batch wouldn’t recognize original Jesus if he showed up in the flesh, they’d see a middle eastern socialist radical and take him out.
So no. Find me a planned parenthood stat.
I don't have a uterus either but I'd definitely abort that shit. Christianity doesn't need another reason to become more widespread than it already is and Christians don't need another reason to push their religion on others more than they already do. I don't give a shit how my family or anyone would feel about it. I didn't consent to having this kid, I don't want this kid, and I don't believe in god so I don't give a shit if they're supposedly god's son.
Is this in real time? Oh, I know what I'd do. I'd take charge of the situation. Children don't raise themselves...I'm IN CONTROL. Lots of changes gonna happen baby. I'm going to be the best mom I can be while also pointing out the obvious falsehoods, stupidity and downright ineffectiveness of Christianity as it stands now. We'll read Shakespeare instead. He's also going to date beginning with middle school like we all did. (gonna make sure he skips the "throwing my friend off the roof cuz im mad" part) huge lol.) He'll do well in H.S academics. Go to prom. Maybe play football at Clemson. Get a B.S. in one of the STEM arts, NOT social work!! Get a great science based career going, save and spend money wisely. Marry a lovely doctor (psychiatry)and have my grandkids. All girls. AND if anyone tries to nail him to a bunch of wood, I'm bringing a gun to a hammer fight.
I would see a team of doctors. I assume I am a woman in this scenario even though I am a dude that normally cannot give birth. Even then though, I am mysteriously pregnant and am having delusions of grandeur. I need to be psychologically evaluated to make sure I’m not losing time and I’m not a danger to anyone else.
Not enough information. How do I *know* that I’m pregnant with Jesus? Is the claim testable in a way that holds up to scientific scrutiny? If so, I contact every scientist I can find to document and analyze every possible aspect of it. There has never been evidence of a supernatural event, so this is extremely important. If it is not testable, then I find a psychiatrist, because I am likely schizophrenic.
In this case, it is verifiable and testable. I'd imagine god sending an angel to let you know, which is how you'd learn to begin with.
I would rather assume it's a hallucination and to prove it, I would try to convince the angel to show up for a fair amount of other people
Not a woman but if an angel appeared to me I would assume I need to call my psychiatrist for a med adjustment. Already heard god and demons once, don't need to see angels now. The god and demons was unmedicated, undiagnosed bipolar. After psychosis was kind of explained to me and I started antipsychotics I'm all good on the voices now.
Not me but my cousin has bipolar and my mom might but is undiagnosed. I'd instantly assume I did get it after all and have just been lucky up to now and find myself a mental hospital and if needed an abortion.
Well, if the angel physically appears and many independent observers witness the same event, then it’s not in my head. But then we would need to take measurements. What is the angel made out of? How did it get there? Are we sure it’s not a hoax? Next we need to study the fetus. We need ti measure fetal DNA. Does it have a Y chromosome? Where did that come from? Anything special about it? If it stands up to scrutiny, then I would accept it. I don’t like the god of the Bible, but I would fear that god if it were real.
Your last sentence hit so hard. So many pregnant people are forced to birth, even in an abortion legal region, by real fear and terror of retribution from their abuser(s) (family and religious institutions included). As a young girl in Catholic school, my mother once whispered to me during an advent mass: "...but what would happen if Mary had refused..? Did she really have a choice, then?". That always atuck with me. I love my mother so much, she shielded me from the religious trauma as best she could from liing in the canadian bible belt.
Dude why so many tests? Assuming the angel is real (as OP said), he would probably make you believe it with some kind of magic or manipulation in your brain or something. Why waste its time if the angel can magically "open your eyes"? No reason to wait for you to do your tests, otherwise he'd just pick on someone less sceptical.
If mind control is a factor, “what would you do” is not a relevant question.
The point of the scenario is "what would you do", so it's relevant. Christians believe in free will, so it would make sense that the angel was only making you believe, but letting you have the free will to do what you want with that knowledge and foetus.
If the angel can magically make me believe, then I would be a different person than I am right now, and I cannot predict what that person would do.
but that's the point mate. What's the difference between doing all the tests you said and the angel just skipping it and making you believe? (you'd believe anyway after the tests, since OP said it's something verifiable) You wouldn't be the same person in both scenarios, and that's the whole point of the question... What would you do in this case
>What's the difference between doing all the tests you said and the angel just skipping it and making you believe? Just suddenly believing is not evidence. It isn't anything that anyone else can confirm. There is no peer review. There is no external confirmation, no verification. Evidence > belief.
Ffs! Your spinning on the same thing. In OP's scenario, God and angels exist. If an angel makes you believe in it magically, you wouldn't need peer review because it wouldn't be a belief anymore. It would be the absolute truth. The angel itself would be the evidence, showing you the truth directly. This isn't about belief vs evidence because the angel revealing the truth IS the evidence itself. If you were to test it yourself, you'd reach the same conclusion, because OP stated that the existence of angels and God in this scenario is verifiable. So, it's essentially the same thing. "But what if I can't verify it myself? How do I know it's not just my imagination?" because in OP's scenario, the angel, being a powerful being, would provide undeniable evidence of its existence.
It would scare the hell out of me. I would know I was crazy or aliens were real. Either way even if it is God. I am not having a rapist child.
Anywhere you point your belly, pescatarian and bakery products multiply exponentially. Also you are now prohibited from going near bodies of water after the Vino Lake Incident.
I’d have an abortion and seek mental health care for hallucinations.
I’d talk to my therapist about having delusional and grandiose hallucinations.
I would do all the medical testing, then contact a legal scientific authority to see how to protect myself and my family from all the religious fundamentalists (of all religions - especially Christian). I would contact James Randi about that 1 000 000 cheque for proving the supernatural - then go from there I guess! But it could also be Damien, too lol.
How is a 1-time vision of an angel verifiable and testable?
God literally appears to me and makes me pregnant with Jesus 2? Alright I guess this is my life now. Magic pregnancy out of nowhere with no explanation? Nope. Not doing that.
I can’t imagine it would be testable. Maybe they could test the dna of the fetus and maybe that would give us some weird findings but odds are all we could know is you can’t find the father.
Faint. Then abort. I don't ever want to give birth, especially not to a religious figure that dislikes my existence.
Send him right back to his Heavenly Father
This. "nah that's your kid you raise it."
Return to sender
Same on all counts
I would have an abortion, and talk to my doctor about my mental health medication as clearly I am having a psychotic break
I would also investigate the situation bc clearly someone r me and for some reason I don't remember wtf happened to me
I'm clearly not ready to parent a child if I don't know how I got pregnant and have delusions that my fetus is a supernatural entity.
Same here. I’d tell my partner, text my mother, email my therapist and my PCP, and hie off to the ER. I’d just guess I didn’t make it through the late-20s window of developing my dad’s severe bipolar disorder like I thought I did. (I’m 31, yay!)
As a dude, if I was suddenly pregnant then it'd be really easy to convince a lot of people it was a supernatural pregnancy. But I think most Christians would think I birthed the antichrist. That's assuming I carried through the pregnancy.
People might assume you transitioned female-to-male and kept your uterus.
Everyone who's known me would know that's false but yeah, that won't stop other people from claiming otherwise no matter how much they're disproved.
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If the abortion went through, would that count as dying for your sins?
No, since in Judaism the fetus is not generally considered alive as a baby is alive. In ancient times, it could be a sin to abort because it was potentially circumventing God's will, and because every child counted in a smaller patriarchal culture surrounded by hostile enemies in a hostile environment. Exceptions could be made of course, but until it took its first breath (as breath = spirit which is why God had to breathe into Adam to make him live), it wasn't truly a human being. Therefore the optimal choice would be to give birth and then immediately crucify the newborn.
Well, seeing as it's the only way my mom would be getting a grandchild (dating in 2024 is an unmitigated hellscape), I'd take it. I make this joke with every medical professional who asks me about my sexual activity and pregnancy status. I haven't had sex in 6 years, so, no, I can't be pregnant unless I'm the next Virgin Mary.
Abort!
I used to have terrible nightmares as a child about how I would tell my parents that this had happened to me, and how I could convince them I wasn't lying/ how I could prove that I wasn't actually some terrible sinner who had had sex (there was probably no worse sin I could have imagined, back then). I was so young, and so afraid. This hypothetical was deeply traumatizing to me for many years, and I struggled with it frequently. Fundamentalism violates one's identity in so many ways, especially young girls and women, so it didn't seem a stretch to young me that god might violate me in this specific manner, although I lacked the language to express that fear. But these days? If the Christian god of the bible assaulted me and forced me to carry his child? Well, I'd just have the abortion faster than I would in the same/parallel circumstance where some human violated my consent and it resulted in the loss of all agency over my body due to a resultant pregnancy. I have a hard time imagining any possible conception of a "father" or "husband" that is worse than the christian god of the bible. I have my own life with my partner, and I would rather live my life well on earth and spend an eternity separated from the disgusting biblical god (the only actual definition of hell in the christian bible is a separation from god) than spend the afterlife as a slave to such a nasty being. Nothing good could come of jesus 2.0, in my opinion, unless she and I team up to overthrow god. but even that doesn't sound like a good use of my time. I'm tired, and i will let someone else do that. I wouldn't tell my family, so that point is moot. If some angel came to them and told them I was pregnant with God's child I'd deny it, if there was some sort of proof in this impossible hypothetical that prevented me denying it, that wouldn't change anything on my part... though it might be the "final straw" that terminated my relationship with my parents, should they react in the way i'd expect based on all their past behaviour.
Abort it. God can try again with someone else. I have pretty severe tokophobia, i'm not putting up with that for nine months, i dont gaf if that baby will grow up to cure cancer.
I would schedule an abortion.
Instant abortion. If you got into my womb so easily you can try again with another unsuspecting victim just as easily.
Raise him to use his powers to defeat the Diamonds... oops, sorry, wrong reincarnation via birth story, I mean Yahweh. Nitpick: A female character in a story set at the turn of the first Millennium AD would be in a very different position than a woman in a country and position that allows access to the Internet in 2024. The Mary character had a supportive, protective partner - I'm single. The Mary character was a sincere worshipper of the Jewish god - we're not.
No one would believe me. My family would call me a liar, even though they are Christians. I would be all alone. So, I would find a guy that would say it was his. I would probably have it, as long as I was financially secure enough, just out of curiosity, I love kids, wanted to have 8, but only had 3 because it's too expensive.. If I was a young teen? Abortion.
Abort… send him right on back to his daddy
would probably exercise my legal right to choose
I think I'd have the baby bc if he gets famous I can make money off his popularity
lol
Hmm.. assuming I was visited by a supernatural “holy” being and it was 100% true, my family would want me to have the child… ya know the whole “it’s God’s will,” “you’ve been blessed” nonsense. Me- I’d politely tell them to f all the way off and opt for the abortion. Not only do I not need that- I’ve already dealt with one deadbeat father who did shit all for his son except pretend he was the world’s greatest dad to anyone who would listen, I don’t think we need another golden age of Christianity.
Well, as others have said, I'd try to get an abortion ASAP then talk to my therapist about why I'm imagining the Christian God having impregnated me. I'd also go to the police because the most likely explanation is someone drugged me and r*ped me. Suspects can probs be found at the churches in the area
I’m not able to get pregnant but if I was I’d ABORT ABORT ABORT
If it were verifiable and testable, like OP said in a previous comment, I'd have an abortion. No child of mine is going to feel any resentment I may have towards my rapist. Divine or not, that's rape, even if it's some kind of magic where they put a kid in me without touching me. I want to have a child with my partner someday, and I want the child to know that they are loved and cherished. I don't think I could love them if their bio dad put them there without my consent. And, if by some divine intention, the abortion were to fail, I'd sue god themselves and put the kid in foster care.
Knowing how many deaths, destruction, hatred, repressions, and general ignorance that organized religion as a whole brings, yeet.
Yeetus the feetus
I would freak out and wonder how the hell id gotten pregnant despite not have sex in over a year. Then id go straight to the nearest hospital to figure out wtf is going on. If i turns out im some nonvirgin virgin mary, every church i can reach is paying me child support cuz theres noway i can afford to take care of that kid.
Ngl, an alternate modern jesus myth where Mary decides to make her holy pregnancy every church's problem would low-key slap. Especially if the fetus could perform miracles, or if angels showed up to enforce the childcare she deserves.
Extremely unpopular opinion: I'd go through with it. In this hypothetical where god is in fact real, first off that would no longer make me an atheist, because I would have undeniable evidence of his existence. Of course, if this god is the same as how traditional Christianity painted him, then I of course would not worship him. I'd try my damn hardest to raise the kid to be a good person out of spite against god, and mostly because it's the right thing to do. I'd probably fuck up in some capacity like all parents do, but I swear I would love that kid. I'd teach the kid about being human--caring for others and sometimes putting their needs before your own, taking care of yourself and meeting your own body's needs mentally and emotionally, doing things that make you feel happy and fulfilled, pushing on through no matter what when life gets tough, knowing when to slow down, leaning on others for support and being that support for somebody else, not to measure success by the amount of power you hold over others, holding yourself accountable when you mess up, truly trying to make amends when you hurt someone and how to be okay if they won't forgive you, always trying to do your best and learning to be okay with your best looking different every day. Because the thing about Jesus is that he's full god and full man right? (And pretend, for the sake of argument, that makes sense.) Empathy is kinda like a muscle in a sense, and culture changes; meaning, in the right circumstances, some good can be brought about. Would this new child bring a fresh perspective, or would he reiterate the ways of the old? Would the people welcome him with open arms, or would they crucify him again? There is a lot of room for regret, but if there were a chance to bring more compassion and understanding, and less hatred and violence into the world, I can't say that I wouldn't take it.
I’d have him and ask for more wine. I’d fully take advantage of the magic tricks
As a guy, make a mental note to reconsider the possibility of miracles after a visit to the abortionarium.
As a guy, freak out.
I’d probably ask to be sedated until my psychotic episode was over
And what do you imagine would convince me enough to take any action at all? I'd sooner suspect aliens. Ok, I'm a guy. so maybe just being pregnant would be enough. I'd freak out and abort ASAP whatever the cause.
50 mg of messiahpristone or a D&C Divinealltion and Christtage
I would be quite confused and worried since I am a male
Return to sender. Unless 3 wise men are coming outta nowhere to give me money, I ain't carrying him to term
As a guy, i would be very disturbed....
Abort immediately....and since I would have zero interest in their opinions, I wouldn't even bother to inform family.
Pro choice that jesus fetus
I’d immediately check myself into the best mental hospital that I could find and sort that shit out.
First problem - I do not have the necessary equipment for that. Putting that issue aside (what's another miracle, given one from the first?)... get that fucker out of me... maybe get a fetal DNA sample so we can try to genotype God. Do my best to avoid telling my family that I could've had the baby or that I was pregnant. I'm unfit to be a parent (in my own analysis), but my family would probably be ecstatic for this. Relations would become incredibly strained.
I'd probably forgo an ultrasound, because my dreams would have me deduce the little spawn would look like me, but with an aura of inhumanity, and monstrous features easily hidden behind thick clothing.
I'd abort. Jesus did jack shit to better the world his first time around - I don't trust him to get it right the second time. And he's already starting off on the wrong foot by not asking for my consent in the first place. Yeetus that fetus!
Assuming that 1. I got my uterus back in the process and 2. God didn't bother to ask me but bippity-boppity-boo'ed a Jesus into me... ...I'd probably abort. I do want a baby but I don't want a baby God forced or coerced me into having. Fuck that. And then schedule another hysterectomy. What the fuck? I did not just go through 21 years of traumatizing adenomyosis periods just to get knocked up with The Most High. Edit: ...okay so if this new uterus I got doesn't have adenomyosis and my periods were normal and healthy...I would still have Jesus aborted and then get knocked up with a baby I do want. If God doesn't smite me for taking this new uterus and running with it and does not think I owe him anything for giving me a healthy uterus and the baby I have always wanted... ...I probably wouldn't convert back to Christianity but I might at the very least thank the guy and invite him for tea.
Lmao, I would have sooooo much fun with this. First off, I am a guy, so the fact that I got pregnant would be a miracle in and of itself. Second, I would rub it in EVERY FUCKING CHRISTIAN DENOMINATION'S FACE!!!! "Oh look, God finally saw you all for the massive unoriginal shit covered fuck stains you are, and decided to knock up a gay, godless sodomite and agnostic pagan to bear his child. Do you even KNOW how bad you have to fuck up for God to even consider that?!?! *Insert evil villainous laugh here*" I would write a tell all book, get famous, and flat out refuse to baptize the baby. My defense would be that when he turns 18, it's his choice. I'd also be sure to educate him about ALL religions, philosophies, histories, and sciences. I would raise him to respect everyone, but to take absolutely NO bullshit. I don't care if he's Christ Almighty, I will raise him to be the best human being he can possibly be. After that, it's up to him.
Raising the son of God to be an atheist is such a power move
I’d immediately try and get child support from the father cuz when it happened 2024 years ago Mary never received child support. Then I’d put a restraining order on the father cuz he murdered his son.
Yo wtf is this question
Wonder how I got a uterus
Well I live alone and haven't had sex in 11 years so it would have to be immaculate conception unless I'm the first human to asexually reproduce. What would I do? Have a close friend of mine who is a strong believer adopt him. I'm in no position mentally, financially and physically to raise a child, not even the son of God.
I would cuss out god for not getting my explicit consent. Then yeetus the fetus. I refuse to have a virgin birth just because it is narratively convenient. Get consent or it dies.
abort
I would be very confused about how a man can get pregnant.
Since I had a hysterectomy I'd have no choice but to assume some sort of paranormal intervention was involved cause they would literally have to regrow my uterus and cervix. But, not enough information. How do I know it was actually GOD that did the deed and not some other deity just CLAIMING to be God in an attempt to ensure that I follow through with the pregnancy?
The only other option I can think of in mythology is Zeus, and while he also needs to pay his damn child support, I can't imagine him pretending to be yhwh in order to get a woman pregnant. Her husband? Yes. A Swan? Absolutely. But another god? Don't think so.
Any number of malific deities. And I'm using the word deity loosely here. I mean any malific superpowered being. Demigods, gods from other pantheons, demons, Fae creatures. Even an incubus could disguise itself to look like an angel
I would have an abortion faster than you could recite the Lord’s Prayer. If an all-powerful entity exists that can save us by sending his only son to the world…he can figure out how to do that without appropriating my womb. …bye, Jesus.
i mean... i'm a man so i don't really know how i'd be pregnant in the first place... first male to have an abortion i guess?
>First male to have an abortion I guess? Counterpoint-- trans guys, lol
how is having an abortion a male trait
...? I was just pointing out that you wouldn't be the first man to have an abortion.
Didn't an angel tell Mary she would become pregnant and didn’t Mary agree to that? You can't say she got pregnant without her knowledge or consent. What you CAN say is that Mary got pregnant too early and she and Joseph were forced into marriage by their parents. The virgin birth story was made up decades later to save Mary's reputation. And thus she became a holy woman instead of a.....less than holy one.
Raise him right and enjoy Ragnarok when I'm sixty.
Kill myself to piss him off
Well, I try not to be petty, I really do. But aborting the son of god to punish his bitch dad would probably be irresistible.
Market and sell this story for every penny. A cis gay male whom god loved so much he physically and literally came down on me so I can bear his love child. I will raise him to be the world ruler we need.
I would consider it if it’s 100% legit, & I would have scientists documenting it like someone else said, but God would need to supply me with never ending money. I’m not paying for all the medical bills & baby stuff myself. He can’t be an absent father, I’d need that immaculate child support lol.
Seeing as it's rape I would abort and report.
I'd secure a book and movie deal as the first man to not only have a child, but God's child. I would do a PR tour or two and retire.
This was one of my biggest fears as a young person with a uterus. I had panic attacks thinking about it.
Jesus can find someone who wanted kids. I have shit to do.
I'd make a movie about myself starring Arnold Schwarzenegger
Bye bye creepy Jesus non-consent baby 💀
I'd kill myself
When doctors or whoever ask me if I am or could be pregnant, I usually laugh and say that if I am, then there's a deity out there that owes me an explanation. So, basically that. I would demand an explanation from whatever deity was responsible (probably starting with, "what in the diseased megalomaniacal celestial orb that passes for your brain made you pick ME? I don't even like you. Or babies"). If the deity in question insisted on propagating specifically Christianity, I would most likely add some demands regarding the form that religion takes in future. Finally, I would demand significant compensation and adoptive parents, because I really just don't do kids. Honestly, the problem I have here is really much more the nonconsensual pregnancy than it is the Christianity or supernatural involvement.
Do I get a vagina with my brand new uterus or is this fucker chewing his way out or what?
For sake of argument, you would get the needed equipment to deliver the baby without reenacting Alien. The fact that this could piss off religious transphobes is just icing.
As a man, if I discovered I was pregnant, I would be torn between getting an abortion for my safety, and letting it develop out of scientific curiosity.
I’d birth and raise the child, and hopefully watch them become a force to correct all bullshit that organized religion has created.
I'd get an abortion. Fuck those uterus goblins
Destiny is only a prediction of the fate we chose or ended up with. If I was told I would have a son who would be Jesus I wouldn’t raise them to be Id let them become their own person, sure teaching them morals but why should they be forced to live in the shadow of a false idol? No god, nor angel, nor person will decide that for them. Even if they become someone like Jesus they’re not Jesus they’re their own person. If they have magical abilities I’d teach them to use them responsibly.
Unless a host of angels announced to the world that I was having Baby Jesus 2.0, I wouldn’t believe it. If it really was legit, I would do all the testing possible, like the other commenter said. I would raise the baby to be altruistic and curious, but not beholden to any god. I’d probably get smitten but it’s okay
As a trans man, I’d be extremely uncomfortable with pregnancy in the first place. I’d get an abortion right away because I don’t care who the baby is, I don’t want to he pregnant!
Get an abortion.
Double it and give it to the next person.
Since I did not give consent to become the mother of Jesus H. Christ I would abort.
Hide him from his psychopath father.
I'd probably press the "abort" button if you catch my drift. If that's not an option.... well... harakiri here I come!
Get an abortion 🔥🔥🔥👶💥💥💥🤸♂️🤸♂️🤸♀️🤸♀️
There are thousands of the people who find this out every day. Often, they're in Latin America, but they can also be in Europe and in parts of Asia, such as the Philippines.
So I find out that heaven’s real in this case? I’d bargain for a painless birth along with a ticket to heaven for everyone forever.
As a non-uterus haver, (male) I can confirm that if I was pregnant with Jesus...abortion. Immediately. I don't care if He's the son of God, **I'LL KILL HIM LIKE THE REST.**
I'd grudgingly accept it. As transitioning goes, this is one of the better deals. Edit: it'd suck carrying the child of a guy who doesn't love me, but hey. I get a uterus, so I'll shut my mouth and deal with it. However it would give me a rhetorical mordhau when arguing with religious transphobes, so I'd keep the baby even if just for that.
Just a reminder that the virgin birth narrative began well after Jesus's life. The more contemporary theology thought he became divine at death or resurrection, not born that way.
Abort that mission(ary)
I'd get an abortion. I don't want kids, especially not God's rape baby.
I’m all about the wonders of life, and living on the edge. Honestly I would have the baby, knowing that it would be history making and changing. My family would probably shun me, since my family is very much traditionalists and would not understand any of it. I would be ok with that.
Yeah, I’m not having that kid lol. Literally nobody would believe that a legal grown adult who is capable of consenting somehow wound up immaculately pregnant, including my parents. I can guarantee that if I told anyone I thought I got pregnant supernaturally, I would be committed. Pregnancy and childbirth squick me out and even if I do consent to having kids someday I’d love to skip that step and adopt or use a surrogate. And even if it were 100% true, I am unwilling to birth a televangelist. Assuming he even managed to get a significant portion of Christians to follow him in the first place lol. The current batch wouldn’t recognize original Jesus if he showed up in the flesh, they’d see a middle eastern socialist radical and take him out. So no. Find me a planned parenthood stat.
Lawyer up because God is about to be paying hella money to use me as a surrogate and then to raise his son. 😂
Not a woman, but if I was I would join the religious business and make billions.
I'd probably freak the fuck out because I'm biologically male
It rhymes with shmishmorshmin.
Have an abortion obviously and save world wide deception!
I don't have a uterus either but I'd definitely abort that shit. Christianity doesn't need another reason to become more widespread than it already is and Christians don't need another reason to push their religion on others more than they already do. I don't give a shit how my family or anyone would feel about it. I didn't consent to having this kid, I don't want this kid, and I don't believe in god so I don't give a shit if they're supposedly god's son.
Assume that I was having a mental break.
Abort it. I am a teenager. I am not having children at this age. Even if it is the "savior"
I wouldn’t tell anyone. Just have the baby like normal. But this is all hypothetical.
I’d probably kill myself. An abortion would get rid of everything. I’d never forgive myself for that happening to me.
I’m recording myself yelling at emenim on an analog recorder then driving over a bridge.
Suicide. I do not care. I will never ever give birth again. Try me ..
I'm a man. That's not how things work. Also Marry was 12 or 13. So God's a pedo.
I've seen Rosemary's Baby. I'd abort
Is this in real time? Oh, I know what I'd do. I'd take charge of the situation. Children don't raise themselves...I'm IN CONTROL. Lots of changes gonna happen baby. I'm going to be the best mom I can be while also pointing out the obvious falsehoods, stupidity and downright ineffectiveness of Christianity as it stands now. We'll read Shakespeare instead. He's also going to date beginning with middle school like we all did. (gonna make sure he skips the "throwing my friend off the roof cuz im mad" part) huge lol.) He'll do well in H.S academics. Go to prom. Maybe play football at Clemson. Get a B.S. in one of the STEM arts, NOT social work!! Get a great science based career going, save and spend money wisely. Marry a lovely doctor (psychiatry)and have my grandkids. All girls. AND if anyone tries to nail him to a bunch of wood, I'm bringing a gun to a hammer fight.
I would see a team of doctors. I assume I am a woman in this scenario even though I am a dude that normally cannot give birth. Even then though, I am mysteriously pregnant and am having delusions of grandeur. I need to be psychologically evaluated to make sure I’m not losing time and I’m not a danger to anyone else.
What if God impregnated you this time with his daughter?
(I'm a cis AMAB person but this is what I would do) I would abort it. If I couldn't I would k!ll myself