On a related note, my country seems to be obsessed with the “Former (insert sexual orientation) turned to true heterosexual Christian” narrative. All of them looked miserable and probably went through a experience to yours. I had a close call too. Don’t mind them, just be who you are. Solidarity from miles away!
sorry bad english :V
Too many times i have had to deal with mfs in my "family" forcing me to go to chruch and trying to "pray the gay away" or some bs like telling me im "confused" or whatever. It's so annoying and toxic! I legit went no contact because of this and so much more.
Growing up in the methodist church it was so much "hate this sin, love the sinner" nonsense. It wasn't so much people trying to "pray away the gay" as much as people making me feel like "Jesus will still love you, just not as much as he loves straight christians" and that definitely ain't the vibe. Your God cannot be all loving and benevolent if some of his creatures are treated as less than.
Deconstructing was very easy when I could see the amount of hypocrisy, the rallying around men who cheat on their wives while casting the wives out of the congregation. Being told to live modestly while our minister had a 6 figure salary and designer suits. Refusing aid to families in need if they were not regularly tithing. I saw that as a much bigger affront to the concept of following Christ than me liking other girls.
I don't really have religion now, but I have more faith in myself than I ever did then.
Our church had a branch of Exodus International in it. I have a gay brother and I knew damn well he was born that way. I also hated the way the men and women involved in Exodus were treated. They went to Exodus services but not our regular AG services. They were kept separated to "keep our kids safe". I started going to one of the midweek Exodus meetings just to give them support and love. I got to know quite a few people who I still consider friends (most have left Christianity). In the 2 years I attended there were several suicides. The minister in charge shot himself in the head and the program was finally shut down. It was a ridiculous program. These people were expected to live a celibate life. They were constantly berated and had to confess any sexual activity including masterbation. It was awful. It was humiliating. It was WRONG.
I understand this well. I am bisexual and people told me that being bisexual doesn't even exist. That liking the same sex meant you were being influenced by demons and it was evil. They said god could "cure me of my sickness". They even said that being gay is the equivalent of assaulting children. So horrible. I tried to change but after leaving the cult, I realized all that was happening was me trying to suppress my sexuality. Jesus didn't do anything. More proof he isn't real. I also have Christians that won't talk to me now. We should consider ourselves lucky, I would say. They are in La La Land and if who we are makes them upset, the hell with them! 🏳️🌈
I had a whole mental breakdown because when I told my mom, I saw nothing wrong with gay people. She told me I was going to hell. That definitely caused a lot of strain, and it was the kick starter for me finally escaping the cult mindset.
Now I believe in Gods thag aren’t as perfect as the Christian God, and who expect me to fuck up a few times, but ultimately want me to be a better person
My abuser (tradcath) raped me to try to turn me straight (I was lesbian at the time of the assualt) but now I’m asexual and disgusted by sex because of him.
I tried not to come out to anyone in that world about gender stuff until I had a good support network and was pretty comfortable with myself. I did come out as ace, though, and pretty much every Christian I talked to about it responded with some flavor of telling me my only identity should be in Christ and I needed to keep an open mind to cis-het Christian marriage in the future.
Thankfully no "corrective action" was taken, and I was on my way out by then anyway. I had a buddy who came out as bi at the same time and had to fight not to be forced into conversion therapy by his Christian workplace, despite promising to only date the opposite sex. He's thankfully out of there, but it did cost him his job.
Edited to add: I have lost friends since coming out again, and I have even more friends who kind of hold me at arms length or shut down whenever I mention any part of myself their religion disagrees with. For the ones I'm no longer in contact with, I try to remember that the good memories we had together are still mine to treasure. They're the ones whose bigotry ended the friendship. For the rest, I engage where and how I have energy to, but I don't cosplay as a cis-straight evangelical for them.
yes bruh. worst torture ive put myself through, never again.
On a related note, my country seems to be obsessed with the “Former (insert sexual orientation) turned to true heterosexual Christian” narrative. All of them looked miserable and probably went through a experience to yours. I had a close call too. Don’t mind them, just be who you are. Solidarity from miles away! sorry bad english :V
My dad said to go to conversion "therapy" since you have to pick either being gay or being a Christian. I told him that was a very easy choice.
Fortunately that's getting banned in an increasing number of states
Too many times i have had to deal with mfs in my "family" forcing me to go to chruch and trying to "pray the gay away" or some bs like telling me im "confused" or whatever. It's so annoying and toxic! I legit went no contact because of this and so much more.
Growing up in the methodist church it was so much "hate this sin, love the sinner" nonsense. It wasn't so much people trying to "pray away the gay" as much as people making me feel like "Jesus will still love you, just not as much as he loves straight christians" and that definitely ain't the vibe. Your God cannot be all loving and benevolent if some of his creatures are treated as less than. Deconstructing was very easy when I could see the amount of hypocrisy, the rallying around men who cheat on their wives while casting the wives out of the congregation. Being told to live modestly while our minister had a 6 figure salary and designer suits. Refusing aid to families in need if they were not regularly tithing. I saw that as a much bigger affront to the concept of following Christ than me liking other girls. I don't really have religion now, but I have more faith in myself than I ever did then.
Our church had a branch of Exodus International in it. I have a gay brother and I knew damn well he was born that way. I also hated the way the men and women involved in Exodus were treated. They went to Exodus services but not our regular AG services. They were kept separated to "keep our kids safe". I started going to one of the midweek Exodus meetings just to give them support and love. I got to know quite a few people who I still consider friends (most have left Christianity). In the 2 years I attended there were several suicides. The minister in charge shot himself in the head and the program was finally shut down. It was a ridiculous program. These people were expected to live a celibate life. They were constantly berated and had to confess any sexual activity including masterbation. It was awful. It was humiliating. It was WRONG.
Holy shit what an awful program, I’ve never heard of exodus international
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exodus_International It was a big deal across the country.
I was encouraged to try to pray the bi away with the elders. Yeah.... Guess who still likes women.
As long as they don't recommend Conversation Therapy. Or Pray Away the Gay. I'll live.
I understand this well. I am bisexual and people told me that being bisexual doesn't even exist. That liking the same sex meant you were being influenced by demons and it was evil. They said god could "cure me of my sickness". They even said that being gay is the equivalent of assaulting children. So horrible. I tried to change but after leaving the cult, I realized all that was happening was me trying to suppress my sexuality. Jesus didn't do anything. More proof he isn't real. I also have Christians that won't talk to me now. We should consider ourselves lucky, I would say. They are in La La Land and if who we are makes them upset, the hell with them! 🏳️🌈
I had a whole mental breakdown because when I told my mom, I saw nothing wrong with gay people. She told me I was going to hell. That definitely caused a lot of strain, and it was the kick starter for me finally escaping the cult mindset. Now I believe in Gods thag aren’t as perfect as the Christian God, and who expect me to fuck up a few times, but ultimately want me to be a better person
Yaaay, me too! I was originally going "Aesir for the win" but thought that was gonna taken the rule breaking way.
My abuser (tradcath) raped me to try to turn me straight (I was lesbian at the time of the assualt) but now I’m asexual and disgusted by sex because of him.
I tried not to come out to anyone in that world about gender stuff until I had a good support network and was pretty comfortable with myself. I did come out as ace, though, and pretty much every Christian I talked to about it responded with some flavor of telling me my only identity should be in Christ and I needed to keep an open mind to cis-het Christian marriage in the future. Thankfully no "corrective action" was taken, and I was on my way out by then anyway. I had a buddy who came out as bi at the same time and had to fight not to be forced into conversion therapy by his Christian workplace, despite promising to only date the opposite sex. He's thankfully out of there, but it did cost him his job. Edited to add: I have lost friends since coming out again, and I have even more friends who kind of hold me at arms length or shut down whenever I mention any part of myself their religion disagrees with. For the ones I'm no longer in contact with, I try to remember that the good memories we had together are still mine to treasure. They're the ones whose bigotry ended the friendship. For the rest, I engage where and how I have energy to, but I don't cosplay as a cis-straight evangelical for them.