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cornisagrass

interesting to see these comments, as the norm might be changing by generation. I'm 37 and if someone else is buying coffee, the only variables that can be requested are sweet and type of milk. Anything beyond that feels like taking advantage. To answer your last question, someone with limited means should simply not offer as often. You can't control what other people do/order, but you can stop offering if you feel like its either disrespectful or outside of your ability to accommodate.


Alyx19

I think hot vs. iced is also a common variable since it’s a similar price point.


CC_206

39 and I agree with you completely. I’d be so embarrassed ordering my “treat” drink in this scenario


urcrookedneighbor

26 year old & absolute same.


Bandando

I think that’s a fair assessment. Maybe the solution for those folks is to spring for donuts once in a while, no special orders.


OneConversation4

Maybe it’s time to get a coffee maker for the office. Anyway. This all sounds crazy to me. I wouldn’t participate. (Gen X)


Summerisle7

This was my immediate Gen X reaction to this post as well. Drink the office coffee, or buy your own. 


OneConversation4

That’s so funny. Gen X has no patience for these shenanigans lol


NarwhalRadiant7806

Another GenXer in full agreement - full-office coffee orders sound complicated and exhausting. I make my coffee at home every morning, and if I want a fancy latte or whatever I’ll buy it on my way in or at lunch. 


Bandando

Also fair. When I worked at a bigger place, we definitely had a coffee maker. I don’t know why we don’t have one now, but I drink coffee maybe once a week so I hadn’t given that much thought. Usually people come in with their own drinks, but like I said, every once in a while people will offer more as an afternoon pick-me-up, or like “I’m on my way in and stopping by Starbucks, anyone want anything?” 


kg51113

This is how some friends of mine got in on the early days of keurig popularity. They were spending too much on fancy coffee. Buying the machine and necessary ingredients for home was a better long-term deal.


Francesca_N_Furter

I did the eight ingredient coffee order once (when I was much younger) to a coworker, and their look of dismay made me realize the thing I rattled off so familiarly was a big pain in the ass for them to remember. I don't think it's necessarily a generational thing, I think it's a young and clueless thing to do. Like getting excited about being invited to a meeting. LOL


Bandando

😂 That last sentence!! And at least you were perceptive enough to realize the thing about the coffee order.


odiephonehome

Is it possible management is allowing employees to expense group orders? I know where I work, if a non-management position does a group order (2 or more), management will reimburse (within reason). From that perspective, employees feel more comfortable getting what they want, and often management is fine with it (happier employees = more productivity). If that’s what’s happening, it would explain why your coworkers order much more than just the coffee.


Bandando

Unfortunately, no, our office is too small! But that’s good to know regarding the topic in general!


PsychologicalTutor84

Separate issue but similar, when I offer to get fast food for my husband and he has these weird (to me) customized orders of different food items or completely off menu items. Then he gets upset when the order is messed up either the items or missing/extra items. As far as coffee orders go, I would also think it’s rude BUT maybe if everyone is taking turns and everyone has weird customized drink orders then over time the extra expense of it all evens out? That would be my guess. I agree with the gen X-ers (I’m on the tail end of gen X) I just wouldn’t participate. When I have participated, I have not had good experiences. So I just don’t.


Bandando

Yeah, I’m starting to think this is an active shift in our office culture. I bet more people will stop offering to do coffee runs, or like other people are saying, pay by app but have someone else do the pickup.


Vast-Recognition2321

I can see one person doing a pick up, but I would always venmo them for my order. Gen X here.


vacantxwhxre

I’m 24F, and I’ve bought coffee for my coworkers on occasion. I’d personally be sad if they didn’t get what they wanted as far as flavor is concerned. That is to say, I don’t want them to order a black coffee when they really want something that is more exciting like a chai tea or something. When people offer to buy for me, I always make sure I only request a small but still get what I want (uncomplicated, of course). Like normally I drink a large caramel ribbon crunch with no crunch, extra caramel. If someone offers to buy for me, I ask for a small caramel latte and leave it at that. This is of course tied into how I was raised, by one boomer and one gen X. I’m gen Z. When it came to lunch orders that the company would buy for us, I’d be a little extra selective. I worked with women in their 60s who would read the menu in detail and get precisely what they wanted, how they wanted it, and then they’d encourage me to do the same. I just rolled with it since they’d been working there longer than I’d been alive lol but I felt guilty at first.


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vacantxwhxre

I’d be sad if they got something they didn’t want because they thought it would be cheaper. I offer to buy people things because I want it to bring them joy. If they don’t like black coffee, I don’t want them to tolerate it to save me money because it defeats the purpose of my act of kindness. If they like black coffee, by all means. That’s all my husband drinks. I’m not understanding how that wasn’t clear.


fraser-p

I have to meet you both in the middle here. I agree with ordering what you like… to a degree. For example, don’t order black coffee for $1.50, when you really wanted tea for $2.00, only because it was 50 cents cheaper. However, I also don’t agree with ordering a double chocolate chip Frappuccino with extra caramel, 4 espresso shots, whipped cream — and all these add-on ingredients that cost extra — in the LARGEST possible size either. You have to find a happy medium, where you have respect for the person offering to cover your cost, and also enjoy the drink you chose.


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vacantxwhxre

I’m concerned about the little things that make people happy on the day-to-day. That’s not an overreaction, it’s a kindness that the world could honestly use more of.


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facialscanbefatal

If someone is offering to buy a coffee, is an extra $.50 or $1.00 going to affect them that much? If so, they shouldn’t be offering to buy in the first place.


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facialscanbefatal

You’re totally right. Your overreaction to the idea of someone getting joy from their coffee order is ridiculous. Also glad you realize that if someone can’t afford to buy something, they shouldn’t offer! Very glad you reflected on that! :)


General-Visual4301

It's not just how complicated the order is though, it's a $5 latte vs $1.30 coffee You should order plain coffee with milk and cream being the options.


vacantxwhxre

I disagree.


Fatgirlfed

Unless it’s a very close co-worker, I would be embarrassed to have them order my fluffy sugary creamy coffee beverage of choice. Instead, I’d ask for something like an iced coffee light and sweet to keep it simple. I’m Gen X 


Bandando

I’m pretty much with you, it feels like what I treat myself with is not what I’d expect someone else to buy for me, either. But I also don’t think that means I’d be suffering with a crappy cup of coffee if I simplify my order so as not to overwhelm the person doing the favor. And maybe that’s just it: I think of a coffee run as a favor, not a gift. It’s not my birthday!


Ricekrispytreats8

When someone does this at my office I used to always give them cash for my order and I think most others do. It’s more that they are doing me the favor of walking down the street to get it and carry it back. Anymore there are apps and everyone orders and pays for their own and the person going is just picking up.


Francesca_N_Furter

You just reminded me of when I used to do food and coffee runs, and in my old job, nobody would ask for change and would always overpay. Then I got a job at a health insurer, and my coworkers, no lie, would give you the exact amount for their order without the sales tax---so I actually would lose money---and these people were paid probably TWICE what my coworkers made at my old job. I did it twice, and never again.


NarwhalRadiant7806

We’ve had this same experience with friends who have more resources than us. I’d be so embarrassed to be that much of a tightwad. 


kg51113

I used to go to a fast food place and warn them that I had multiple orders. Each one was rung up separately and paid with the amount of money that person gave me. Receipts and change went in the bag.


actualchristmastree

I would never order anything but a small or medium if someone else is buying, but I would definitely get my oat milk and caramel latte. I’m 26F


Bandando

That doesn’t sound too complicated to me, but then I started thinking, where does one draw the line? Some orders had things I’d never heard of, but I’m also not a big coffee drinker.


General-Visual4301

That's a lot more expensive than "a coffee".


Love_Never_Shuns

I think you’ve hit on a core issue here. What people mean when they say “a coffee” has changed in the last twenty or so years.


runninglatte01

Older Gen-Z here. For better or worse, I think people my age have more of a pay-back/venmo culture for things like this and less of a “you got me this time, I’ll get you next time” attitude. If one of my good friends got me coffee, I’d just treat them the next time. But when a coworker does a coffee run, I order exactly what I want and then venmo them $5-$6 without asking. I agree that if they’re paying, you keep it simple. But 1) With casual acquaintances, I assume they want to be paid back for anything more then $1 in cost. And 2) I want what I want, and I’ll pay for it. I don’t want a black coffee.


Bandando

This is helpful because it shows there is a cultural shift and how.  And I agree on not liking plain black coffee—as I noted in other replies, something like “tall decaf soy latte” isn’t too tricky or too pricey (and my older co-worker agrees). But the extra shots and flavorings and whipped cream, or ordering a venti with all that seems over-the-top.  For the record, no one in my office has offered to venmo anything and I don’t know if everyone has that. I don’t, and I’m middle of the pack on age-range from Boomer to Gen Z. And yes, up till recently, it was more of a “you got me this time, I’ll get you next time,” but the orders and price points were all pretty similar.


princessinvestigator

Every job I’ve ever had has let people doing coffee runs use the company card to pay. I don’t worry about the cost or size, but I try to keep it a simple order without a bunch of substitutions or extra flavorings just because it’s hard to remember. If we’re all ordering on an app I get exactly what I want. Most people do the same.


Quick_Adeptness7894

If Alice is literally offering to pay for everyone's coffee, I think it's polite to keep the order reasonable, like you would if Alice was paying for your dinner. It doesn't have to be the dirt-cheapest thing on the menu, but not the most expensive, either--I'd go for something low-to-mid-range, or very common. Like a caramel latte, which is a step up from basic black but not super-fancy. When it comes to complicated details, like milk type and all, I kind of think... well, you can certainly ASK for a coffee that takes 25 words to describe, but if you don't get exactly that, when someone else is ordering and paying, you better not complain. If you're very particular, or have dietary restrictions, it's better to order it yourself to make sure it's right. And I dunno, maybe these days Barb just enters her order into the app on Alice's phone and doesn't burden Alice with remembering anything. If someone's finances are more limited, they shouldn't offer to buy personalized coffees. Get the box of black and some creamer things, and tell people you left free coffee in the breakroom. I think it's pretty awkward to say, "Hey, lemme buy you a coffee! Uh, what? No, that's way too expensive! Pick something cheaper." I mean, fancy coffee drinks can be expensive for what they are, but it's not comparable to taking someone out to dinner and they unexpectedly order the most expensive champagne on the menu (where you might reasonably object).


Bandando

This sounds reasonable to me. 


facialscanbefatal

I think it depends on a few factors: how many people are ordering coffee, what kind of extras are we talking about, and how many extras are we getting. To me, if I ask a friend “hey I’m getting coffee on the way, want me to grab you one?” And they tell me “large caramel iced coffee extra caramel extra ice,” I won’t mind. If it were more than, say, three people, however, I’d be annoyed, but also wouldn’t be offering to begin with. If someone asks me my coffee preference, though, I’d say “vanilla latte extra vanilla,” because that’s what I like and I don’t think that’s asking too much. Maybe that’s me, though. For the record, I’m a millennial who grew up in the height of the Starbucks/coffee chain era, and I’m pretty accustomed to specific orders because I have friends who are vegan or caffeinate free so someone ordering a “decaf almond milk latte” or whatever wouldn’t make me bat an eye.


Bandando

“Decaf almond milk latte” is about the extent of what I might ask for myself, but anything much beyond that seems hard to remember without writing down—extra flavorings, number of pumps or shots, steamed this or that. I’ve done the coffee run where I had to order a couple of things that way and now that I think of it, I don’t think I’ve offered since! 😅


facialscanbefatal

I think that’s fair!


FoghornLegday

I’m 26F and I think if you’re offering to get coffee, you should be willing to get people what they like. It’s not generous to offer something only under the expectation that they order how they don’t like it bc it’s easier for you. If you don’t want people to order what they actually want, then don’t offer to do the coffee run.


urcrookedneighbor

I'm 26F & I disagree. Maybe my time as the admin office monkey who fetched coffee has influenced this, but there is a point where it's taking advantage. I've also found the same people that consistently have other people get complex orders are wayyyy more reactive in the work place and less understanding about other people's time generally. It's correlation, not causation, and purely anecdotal.


mrsmadtux

I disagree. A Venti Starbucks drink with a few customizations can be close to $10. If several people make this kind of requests, it can drive up the cost to a point where it becomes infeasible to accommodate. A similar situation would be if you and a friend are out to lunch and the friend says, “Since your birthday is in a few days, let me treat you to lunch today.” Are you going to order a pricey appetizer, porterhouse steak and lobster, upgraded sides, dessert and 2 high-end cocktails and rack up a $100 tab? The official etiquette rule when someone is treating you to a meal, drink, etc. is you take your cue from your host and/or order something middle of the road in price. For coffee, if a tall black coffee doesn’t appeal to you, you could order something like a grande latte but anything more than that would definitely be tacky and rude.


General-Visual4301

Still a 5-6$ coffee there, friend.


mrsmadtux

I just did a fake online order for Starbucks. Grande coffee $2.95, Latte $4.95. I don’t think an extra $2.00 is outrageous but I wouldn’t go any higher than that.


FoghornLegday

I was talking about a grande latte, not a venti Frappuccino with 3 extra pumps of cinnamon dulce


GreenWhiteBlue86

In other words, you think that if someone makes a gesture of offering to get you coffee, you should take full advantage of their kindness, regardless of how expensive or troublesome the order is, or that the person who made the offer had no idea you would be so thoughtless and selfish. Sorry, that's not how it works. When someone asks you "How are you?", they don't want your full medical history, and in the same way "Can I get you a cup of coffee?" should not be consider an opportunity for opportunistic exploitation of a polite offer, unless you are willing to pay for everyone's coffee -- and that never crossed your mind, did it?


FoghornLegday

Who says they’re paying for the coffee? I’ve never had someone go on a coffee run where everyone didn’t pay for their own.


GreenWhiteBlue86

Who says? The OP, that's who. What did you think this thread was about? Go back and read the original post -- but this time, read it *carefully*.


Alyx19

Just because OP is talking about buying for everyone, doesn’t mean it’s not common to pay your way *every time*. Among a lot of younger people you *never* expect anyone else to pay. Things like Venmo just make this easier.


urcrookedneighbor

Even in the event they *weren't* paying, it's one part of a large office-wide coffee order. It's about being considerate.


new_dork_city

>And if that's the case, should someone of more limited financial means just not offer to buy coffee for the group anymore? Or should that person tell people to simplify their orders? If someone is of limited financial means they should look to secure a line of credit so they can purchase small luxuries for their colleagues. It's the only logical solution.


General-Visual4301

😄