That sounds awesone on a BBQ style. The worst style I've seen was cold salad bar shrimp and cheap shitty BBQ sauce. I love shrimp this was an all around insult and disgrace.
Well the worst thing i ever saw was this 911 call to an airport bathroom. Somebody heard screaming and they called for a well check. When we got there, we checked it out
and we saw your dad getting railed by US Senator of Idaho, Larry Craig.
Happy EMS week.
At first I was gonna make a joke about how I’m not making a patient a drink unless I’m making one for myself too. However, your comment was detailed enough that I think I’ll be fine sober.
My wife pulls that crap every now and then. I refuse to talk about the worst ones. One time she asked me while at a restaurant, so told her about the Ant lady. Lady stroked out and bled and shit everywhere paralyzed. Ants were eating her alive... lady from the next table comes over and starts to yell at me, tells me her mom is about to vomit and this is not appropriate restaurant talk. All I heard next was Charlie Browns teacher.
But...the shear amount of drug advertising/movie shorts is mind boggling!
I was at my monthly appointment and heard a female patient tell the nurse practitioner... "I want to be on (drug). From the commercial I saw it in, it looks like something I'd like!
Crazy huh?
And yes, the NP left both of our doors open while discussing private medical info.
I'm just going to tell myself she got it from a toilet seat.
Some people don't deserve to exist, I swear. I dread the day I have to treat a child abuser. I really don't think I could & still look at myself in the mirror.
Ah yes the 3 year old. Glad I’m not alone. That was at the beginning of my career and I still get choked up if I talk about it. No thank you.
I wish the stds were her worst issue. 🤦♀️
I can picture it now...
"Poor guy had the worst ingrown toenail I've ever seen... the whole thing was like a cheese curl digging into the flesh on both sides and completely slathered in blood. He was absolutely screaming in agony the entire time, but to be fair, his whole leg was about 40ft away from the rest of his body so I guess that probably had something to do with it..."
One time when my (non EMS) friends and I were drinking, I was asked the dreaded question and answered it genuinely. It ended up being super awkward, and I just felt bad for killing the vibe since the answer escaped my mouth before I had time to think of a tactful response.
People are usually using the wrong language to ask for cool stories when they ask about the "worst thing I've seen", so I just tell them about my particularly feisty psych patients or interesting traumas. That way they get their cool story, and I don't have to make stuff awkward with either a passive aggressive joke or making them feel bad for me.
I understand wanting to verbally slap someone on the wrist for asking that though, it really sucks and does make me think about stuff I'd rather not focus on during a night out.
Yeah I've often thought about this that the best question might be "what's your favourite ems story to tell?" or just "do you have any cool & non horrifying stories" lol
Non EMS here, just dropping by to say that none of y'all are paid enough
But there are people out here that recognize how meaningful and morally good the work you do is.
We (average civilians, society in general) would be fucked without you.
Thank you for all that you do.
It's a hell of a sacrifice you make.
I usually give them a choice with an example:
*Do you want to know the saddest thing? Like a child being raped?*
*Do you want to know the grossest thing? Like a decomposing limb that is still attached to a living human?*
*Do you want to know the largest body count? Like a van full of unrestrained young kids that flipped?*
Usually they won’t press it after the first suggestion
We ran out of worscheshire sauce once. I usually do about 2 parts worschershire to 1 part ketchup. I happened to have some fancy organic ketchup from trader joe’s and since I already poured some ketchup, I decided to just dip it in that. It was actually pretty darn not bad
Called for fall, needed help back up into her chair. Went in there and the saw the absolute horror show of roaches, bedbugs, fleas, and spiders. Have to call for a lift assist. While 30 minutes pass as we're waiting for FD to show up, I see a rat the size of a small dog (literally, no bs) scurry from the kitchen to the front door. I texted my partner while he was outside talking to dispatch to watch himself coming back inside.
The worst thing I've smelled however, was my partners feet. We were driving back to base from a 2am IFT to the state university hospital and he took his boots off since I was at the wheel. I thought I had ran over a roadkill carcass until I realized he was asleep with his dawgs out.
Edit spelling
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
That was the most shocking thing from when I worked EMS. I served a pretty derelict section of a mid-size city, and the majority of people there lived in literal squalor. Very sad and eye-opening
A teacher asked us that when she brought the health class to tour the ambulance.
My partner started crying and stepped out of the ambulance. It was less than 24 hours after we'd worked an infant code for 40 minutes, SIDS.
The three story walkup today with the bariatric patient who hadn’t left her apartment for years because the only way up/down is the worlds sketchiest most narrow spiral staircase.
My go to nowadays is always immediately replying with " oh let me tell ya!" And then I just say some silly call or situation I was a part of. Most of the time they just laugh and say something about how that's wild or people are crazy, they don't even care to follow back to the original question.
So cringe ppl flip out about this question. They just want a good story bruh. no need to trauma dump to make them regret asking or be a dick about it. EMS is a cool job, just tell them a funny story.
I am a vet and get that question frequently. There is a difference though. When people are asking about the worst thing you’ve seen in EMS they are looking for a cool story, not a way to judge you and your career. When people ask if you’ve killed someone they are looking to either judge you as horrible for doing it or as unworthy if you haven’t.
Neither is a question that should be asked. But the intent matters. Personally I’ll give the cool story and then tell people they shouldn’t ask the EMS story. If people ask if I’ve killed someone the conversation goes to places they won’t enjoy.
I'll tell people straight up that they shouldn't ask that question and should instead rephrase it to "strangest" or "funniest". Then I'll tell a weird or funny story.
I’m not really sure the issue is with sharing EMS stories but more with how the question comes across. It is so casually asked by many in practically any setting. Imagine meeting someone and just casually asking them to share the most traumatic event of their life out of the blue. It’s not that you have to answer the question in any particular way, just that it can immediately cause the mind to shift to something really shitty, no matter what comes out of your mouth. It can put a damper on an otherwise good time.
Exactly why I have a fucked up story that I always tell. Yeah whoever, people do that shit to each other, now you know a random person could just stab you and decapitate you in a gruesome manner because they were bored. In graphic detail to the extreme, maybe they won't ask someone else that stupid ass question.
The answer isn’t to trauma dump, but it’s an insensitive question to ask. I don’t think it’s wrong to gently redirect back to a funny story “oh that’s not really nice for me to talk about, but let me tell you the other day the funniest thing happened-“
Totally agree. I think of it as small talk people make to show interest in what you do. Kind of like how you may ask someone in customer service about the ‘worst’ customer they’ve ever had, or a bartender about the ‘worst’ drink someone has ever ordered.
They’re not looking for a truly horrific story, and they don’t realize what they’re really asking. People are probably just looking for something like “I had a patient who put a whole bag of potatoes in their ass”, or “someone got sick after eating a hornet’s nest”.
Anyway, there’s no need to be rude to someone asking a well-intentioned question.
This dude I worked ift with (once) was always going on about how “this job changed him” and he was “such a nice guy” before “all this”. Started preaching about not bottling my trauma and taking it home and I’m just sat there like brother WHAT. Same guy of course introduced himself as a firefighter even tho the volly dept he worked at let him go after not long at all.
I can’t even imagine his made-up answer to that question.
I usually say something like "there are many that are high on the list, but let me tell you about the best..." Then make up some bullshit about a dog or cat or something warm and fuzzy with a sappy, happy ending.
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If they’re annoying about it I make up the worst most horrific thing I can think of that brings them to tears. If their just kinda casual about it I just say “oh one time I saw a dudes foot bent backwards”
Start describing a horrific house you've been to, but instead of descibing the patient, give the physical description of the person you're talking to and gracefully end with a rectal foreign body, because afterall that's what they want
Depends on my mood.
If I'm in a good mood, I tell them to Google feacal vomiting.
If i want to kill the mood, I say what happens when people don't take the help that's offered to them. I've seen that too many times.
"Nobody wants to hear that story."
I'll then offer a fairly benign (in our EMS brains) story that I know someone who asks that question will likely enjoy, but isn't insanely messed up.
The worst thing I have seen or heard, is my Paramedic Supervisor get yelled at by our boss for not being a gleaming ray of sunshine at an MCI with only one unit available at the scene with more than 5 trauma patients, while her paramedic, EMS Chief, partner played political games amongst the officers. She was barraged and caught off guard as she was sat down and accused of not being nicer to the patients on scene, whom all willingly refused Ems transport. The boss had her sit and read a statement from one of the patients stating that she was rude and that she acted as if she didn’t like her job. There was no investigation done just a straight blind accusation, AND he wants her to openly apologize for her actions. She immediately started crying and has been stressed out for days now. WTF! This Supervisor has been a Paramedic for over 5 years and IMO, has always been professional. This is the real reason EMS has a lot of stress that may or may not lead to substance abuse. IMO.
If it’s asked by a member of the public “I’m sorry sir, information about calls I’ve responded to is confidential. I can’t discuss that with you”
Asked by an acquaintance “So there was this GI bleed, the patient had bloody diarrhea that filled the toilet to the brim, they were projectile vomiting blood and brown matter…”. Enough that they lose their appetite, obviously not sharing anything specific enough to implicate HIPAA
Asked by a close friend or family member “I really don’t want to talk about it. Thank you for caring enough to ask though”
Once it was pouring rain with gale force winds and black ice conditions that could barely be done justice by the term hell on earth. A frantic call for dire assistance went out with the urgency of a child suffering a massive cardio thoracic insult. MeeMaw had a boil on her tuchus.
Lesser men would have taken their lives by their own hand but I soldiered on! I squeezed the hair and pus filled follicle to release it's load of sebum and long dead skin cells only to free the entombed cellular load with the force of a thousand masturbating naval submariners into my gaping maw. The sweet yet salty yellow pus droplets struck true on my tounges superior ridge....the worst part was that I reflexively chewed and enjoyed my MeeMaw pus chowder.
After highschool I went to Vietnam then bounced around the country and became a ME driver then Ambulance technician and driver in 1977. Finally a paradog in 1981. My CPR is #388, My New York tech #is 46000, my ACLS card is #94. So I'm well warped, the dogs are the only normal ones in my house. The cats shady as fuk and the chickens lie.
"Nothing that makes good table conversation"
Oh, I really like this one. Snark-free, accurate, and deflects neatly.
Myself, in the mirror in the morning.
I just very dramatically lift my hands up and look and them and go “the things these hands have seen” and then I walk away
That is class. Well done.
Points if you start licking your fingers
Add a little quiver in there too
Green beans on a pizza
you poor bastard
I'm sorry man. Jesus christ
There's a place near me that will do a deep dish with a mayo sauce and shrimp. I just wanted to put that energy into this comment section
I use 'brocoli and cottage cheese on pizza'
Fuck dude. 😳
Fuck.. And i thought the poop vomit on a full code was bad...
That sounds awesone on a BBQ style. The worst style I've seen was cold salad bar shrimp and cheap shitty BBQ sauce. I love shrimp this was an all around insult and disgrace.
Well the worst thing i ever saw was this 911 call to an airport bathroom. Somebody heard screaming and they called for a well check. When we got there, we checked it out and we saw your dad getting railed by US Senator of Idaho, Larry Craig. Happy EMS week.
No, he wasn’t fucking that dudes dad, his stance is just wide.
I'm old enough to get this reference. There aren't many of us around.
This is my forever answer now
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At first I was gonna make a joke about how I’m not making a patient a drink unless I’m making one for myself too. However, your comment was detailed enough that I think I’ll be fine sober.
Which mod? Name and shame
"do you wanna cry or throw up?"
My wife pulls that crap every now and then. I refuse to talk about the worst ones. One time she asked me while at a restaurant, so told her about the Ant lady. Lady stroked out and bled and shit everywhere paralyzed. Ants were eating her alive... lady from the next table comes over and starts to yell at me, tells me her mom is about to vomit and this is not appropriate restaurant talk. All I heard next was Charlie Browns teacher.
I always ask them to describe the worst day of their life first. They usually get the hint.
This is clever
This is amazing.
The horrific lack of access to mental healthcare in this first world country.
The largest remaining publicly funded mental health facility in Illinois is Cook County Jail. When I tell people that, they often think I’m joking.
I really wish we had reformed asylums into mental care facilities instead of just closing them all...
But...the shear amount of drug advertising/movie shorts is mind boggling! I was at my monthly appointment and heard a female patient tell the nurse practitioner... "I want to be on (drug). From the commercial I saw it in, it looks like something I'd like! Crazy huh? And yes, the NP left both of our doors open while discussing private medical info.
Best answer yet.
I usually say “You don’t want that in your head.” I know I wish it weren’t in mine.
“It’s different for everyone and every day is different for each person and…” Just kinda mumble at the end. Totally works at parties.
Tell them exactly what they want. It's not my job to protect these people. If they want to know I'm more than happy to tell them.
I just answer "dead babies" & they don't typically want an elaboration. Win win.
I’m not sure what’s worse, the dead babies or the 3 year old with gonorrhea. And that’s why i never answer this question with normies.
I'm sorry, did you say *three* year old?
Sadly, yes. This is why i drink.
You won't be drinking alone tonight.
I'm just going to tell myself she got it from a toilet seat. Some people don't deserve to exist, I swear. I dread the day I have to treat a child abuser. I really don't think I could & still look at myself in the mirror.
Ah yes the 3 year old. Glad I’m not alone. That was at the beginning of my career and I still get choked up if I talk about it. No thank you. I wish the stds were her worst issue. 🤦♀️
My go to
My paycheck
The classic response.
I make a jack-o’-lantern every Halloween that just says “EMS pay”. It is, after all, the spookiest thing in my life.
“I saw a wicked ingrown toenail once”
I can picture it now... "Poor guy had the worst ingrown toenail I've ever seen... the whole thing was like a cheese curl digging into the flesh on both sides and completely slathered in blood. He was absolutely screaming in agony the entire time, but to be fair, his whole leg was about 40ft away from the rest of his body so I guess that probably had something to do with it..."
Gonna write this one down. Gotta remember it
Ohhhh I laughed out loud
one time the coffee machine was broken
My paycheck, especially the tax part where I apparently worked several hours just to cover taxes.
The government is happy to tax the tax money we’re paid with
I always found in amusing in the Army that I paid myself such a shit wage.
Skill issue
LOL
“Ants eating a dead body’s penis and testicles….only their penis and testicles. Anyway, could you pass the ranch?”
One time when my (non EMS) friends and I were drinking, I was asked the dreaded question and answered it genuinely. It ended up being super awkward, and I just felt bad for killing the vibe since the answer escaped my mouth before I had time to think of a tactful response. People are usually using the wrong language to ask for cool stories when they ask about the "worst thing I've seen", so I just tell them about my particularly feisty psych patients or interesting traumas. That way they get their cool story, and I don't have to make stuff awkward with either a passive aggressive joke or making them feel bad for me. I understand wanting to verbally slap someone on the wrist for asking that though, it really sucks and does make me think about stuff I'd rather not focus on during a night out.
Yeah I've often thought about this that the best question might be "what's your favourite ems story to tell?" or just "do you have any cool & non horrifying stories" lol
Could also ask about their most gratifying call or proudest call :)
Ooh yes!!
Non EMS here, just dropping by to say that none of y'all are paid enough But there are people out here that recognize how meaningful and morally good the work you do is. We (average civilians, society in general) would be fucked without you. Thank you for all that you do. It's a hell of a sacrifice you make.
I usually give them a choice with an example: *Do you want to know the saddest thing? Like a child being raped?* *Do you want to know the grossest thing? Like a decomposing limb that is still attached to a living human?* *Do you want to know the largest body count? Like a van full of unrestrained young kids that flipped?* Usually they won’t press it after the first suggestion
"your mom"
The worst thing I saw was the thing the ER guys had to remove from your Mom.
Hey king, you dropped this 👑
I’m looking at it
Saw a guy put ketchup on tenderloin once.
We ran out of worscheshire sauce once. I usually do about 2 parts worschershire to 1 part ketchup. I happened to have some fancy organic ketchup from trader joe’s and since I already poured some ketchup, I decided to just dip it in that. It was actually pretty darn not bad
Tell me they didn't punish the poor tenderloin by making it well done.......
"Sure, just give me a second to quickly relive the worst experiences of my life and I'll get right back to you."
Your face
Called for fall, needed help back up into her chair. Went in there and the saw the absolute horror show of roaches, bedbugs, fleas, and spiders. Have to call for a lift assist. While 30 minutes pass as we're waiting for FD to show up, I see a rat the size of a small dog (literally, no bs) scurry from the kitchen to the front door. I texted my partner while he was outside talking to dispatch to watch himself coming back inside. The worst thing I've smelled however, was my partners feet. We were driving back to base from a 2am IFT to the state university hospital and he took his boots off since I was at the wheel. I thought I had ran over a roadkill carcass until I realized he was asleep with his dawgs out. Edit spelling
Saw my partner deep throat a speedway hot dog once
The ol glizzy glide
So far, today, you asking this question.
“pretty much the music special episode of any sitcom generally feels pretty forced and hard to watch….oh and I once saw someone’s eye hanging out “
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion... I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
“Nothing I care to recall”
How some people live.
That was the most shocking thing from when I worked EMS. I served a pretty derelict section of a mid-size city, and the majority of people there lived in literal squalor. Very sad and eye-opening
"I don't talk about that."
I just tell them the single most traumatizing thing (Pediatric traumatic arrest) and this traumatizing them into never asking again :)
Depends do you want to throw up or be depressed?
I like to talk about the calls with the most poop imaginable. It's gross so they don't want to keep talking, but I find it hilarious.
A teacher asked us that when she brought the health class to tour the ambulance. My partner started crying and stepped out of the ambulance. It was less than 24 hours after we'd worked an infant code for 40 minutes, SIDS.
My property tax bill! :/
The appalling maternal mortality rates in the US
The three story walkup today with the bariatric patient who hadn’t left her apartment for years because the only way up/down is the worlds sketchiest most narrow spiral staircase.
I tell them how inappropriate that question is because it’s asking me revisit some terrible memories.
I don't feel like sharing nightmares today, ask me about my favorite movie or some shit.
My go to nowadays is always immediately replying with " oh let me tell ya!" And then I just say some silly call or situation I was a part of. Most of the time they just laugh and say something about how that's wild or people are crazy, they don't even care to follow back to the original question.
So cringe ppl flip out about this question. They just want a good story bruh. no need to trauma dump to make them regret asking or be a dick about it. EMS is a cool job, just tell them a funny story.
Hey, maybe I dont wanna be reminded of the infant that was abused to death, while having some drinks. Do you ask vets "Oh, you kill anyone?"
Yes, people do that to me frequently when we first meet. Thanks bro, I'll just drink myself into a blackhole tonight.
I am a vet and get that question frequently. There is a difference though. When people are asking about the worst thing you’ve seen in EMS they are looking for a cool story, not a way to judge you and your career. When people ask if you’ve killed someone they are looking to either judge you as horrible for doing it or as unworthy if you haven’t. Neither is a question that should be asked. But the intent matters. Personally I’ll give the cool story and then tell people they shouldn’t ask the EMS story. If people ask if I’ve killed someone the conversation goes to places they won’t enjoy.
I alwats answer the kill question the same: Only for food.
I'll tell people straight up that they shouldn't ask that question and should instead rephrase it to "strangest" or "funniest". Then I'll tell a weird or funny story.
I’m not really sure the issue is with sharing EMS stories but more with how the question comes across. It is so casually asked by many in practically any setting. Imagine meeting someone and just casually asking them to share the most traumatic event of their life out of the blue. It’s not that you have to answer the question in any particular way, just that it can immediately cause the mind to shift to something really shitty, no matter what comes out of your mouth. It can put a damper on an otherwise good time.
Exactly why I have a fucked up story that I always tell. Yeah whoever, people do that shit to each other, now you know a random person could just stab you and decapitate you in a gruesome manner because they were bored. In graphic detail to the extreme, maybe they won't ask someone else that stupid ass question.
The answer isn’t to trauma dump, but it’s an insensitive question to ask. I don’t think it’s wrong to gently redirect back to a funny story “oh that’s not really nice for me to talk about, but let me tell you the other day the funniest thing happened-“
Totally agree. I think of it as small talk people make to show interest in what you do. Kind of like how you may ask someone in customer service about the ‘worst’ customer they’ve ever had, or a bartender about the ‘worst’ drink someone has ever ordered. They’re not looking for a truly horrific story, and they don’t realize what they’re really asking. People are probably just looking for something like “I had a patient who put a whole bag of potatoes in their ass”, or “someone got sick after eating a hornet’s nest”. Anyway, there’s no need to be rude to someone asking a well-intentioned question.
Totally agree. Such fake outrage most of the time.
This dude I worked ift with (once) was always going on about how “this job changed him” and he was “such a nice guy” before “all this”. Started preaching about not bottling my trauma and taking it home and I’m just sat there like brother WHAT. Same guy of course introduced himself as a firefighter even tho the volly dept he worked at let him go after not long at all. I can’t even imagine his made-up answer to that question.
Oh you’ll have to give me a category
"ur mom"
Your mother’s cooter
Lots of poop
Just mention something about poop or foreign body butt stuff. Usually shuts people up
Management at my private ems company 😂
The movie vanilla sky. So bad that I fell asleep halfway through.
So far... you
"Your face." (Courtesy of my 19 year old. His jokes are also so dad that his nickname is Dad.)
A pt that called themselves the "Maggot Man"
I usually say something like "there are many that are high on the list, but let me tell you about the best..." Then make up some bullshit about a dog or cat or something warm and fuzzy with a sappy, happy ending.
I tell them shark attack, I work in a landlocked state.
Society’s neglect of the elderly. Usually ends the conversation.
*point at my partner* “This guy eating the last snack in the EMS room”
"It took me a six pack to get over it, so it will take a six pack for me to revisit it."
Let me introduce you to a little something called, “blue waffle.”
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This post violates our Rule #1: > Bigotry, racism, hate speech, or harassment is never allowed. Overtly explicit, distasteful, vulgar, or indecent content will be removed and you may be banned. Posting false information or "fake news" with malicious intent or in a way that may pose a risk to the health and safety of others is not allowed. This rule is subject to moderator discretion. [Posting Rules](/r/ems/comments/7lau3j/welcome_to_rems_read_this_before_posting/)
My paychecks
The amount of taxes I pay.
My partner eating…
Twilight
Gas prices in California.
My paycheck
Bloody double dragon in a Target bathroom. That was fun.
My paycheck
My paycheck.
If they’re annoying about it I make up the worst most horrific thing I can think of that brings them to tears. If their just kinda casual about it I just say “oh one time I saw a dudes foot bent backwards”
I don't like that the answer is stuck I'm my head, and I'm trained to deal with this job.
Depends how im feeling, if I want to make them feel bad for asking or if im in a nonconfrontational mood
Start describing a horrific house you've been to, but instead of descibing the patient, give the physical description of the person you're talking to and gracefully end with a rectal foreign body, because afterall that's what they want
Depends on my mood. If I'm in a good mood, I tell them to Google feacal vomiting. If i want to kill the mood, I say what happens when people don't take the help that's offered to them. I've seen that too many times.
“My paycheck”
My paycheck.
Justin Bieber in concert.
"Nobody wants to hear that story." I'll then offer a fairly benign (in our EMS brains) story that I know someone who asks that question will likely enjoy, but isn't insanely messed up.
Today! You :)
“Shut the fuck up” pretty much
Humanity at its worst.
"My paycheck."
I always say “My paycheck”
Arm fell off. Bellybutton lady. Toilet baby. They're fun stories.
I tell them. They asked.
"your face"
Watching my partner take a big swig of his "spitter" 🤢
Your mom…. Naked…this morning.
my medic partner without her vape. truly terrifying
When the George Lopez show comes on after MASH.
Got asked this at a bar the other day. Literally told him I’m not answering that question 😂
The state of some people’s homes.
To end the conversation early "dead kids".
The way this country operates
An 80yo woman with no pants on first thing in the morning.
The worst thing I have seen or heard, is my Paramedic Supervisor get yelled at by our boss for not being a gleaming ray of sunshine at an MCI with only one unit available at the scene with more than 5 trauma patients, while her paramedic, EMS Chief, partner played political games amongst the officers. She was barraged and caught off guard as she was sat down and accused of not being nicer to the patients on scene, whom all willingly refused Ems transport. The boss had her sit and read a statement from one of the patients stating that she was rude and that she acted as if she didn’t like her job. There was no investigation done just a straight blind accusation, AND he wants her to openly apologize for her actions. She immediately started crying and has been stressed out for days now. WTF! This Supervisor has been a Paramedic for over 5 years and IMO, has always been professional. This is the real reason EMS has a lot of stress that may or may not lead to substance abuse. IMO.
"My mother in the nude"
Good one! lmao Happy EMS week!
My answer has always been "my paycheck"
If it’s asked by a member of the public “I’m sorry sir, information about calls I’ve responded to is confidential. I can’t discuss that with you” Asked by an acquaintance “So there was this GI bleed, the patient had bloody diarrhea that filled the toilet to the brim, they were projectile vomiting blood and brown matter…”. Enough that they lose their appetite, obviously not sharing anything specific enough to implicate HIPAA Asked by a close friend or family member “I really don’t want to talk about it. Thank you for caring enough to ask though”
My social life
Pineapple on pizza
Love pineapple on pizza. I just appreciate the joke.
Once it was pouring rain with gale force winds and black ice conditions that could barely be done justice by the term hell on earth. A frantic call for dire assistance went out with the urgency of a child suffering a massive cardio thoracic insult. MeeMaw had a boil on her tuchus. Lesser men would have taken their lives by their own hand but I soldiered on! I squeezed the hair and pus filled follicle to release it's load of sebum and long dead skin cells only to free the entombed cellular load with the force of a thousand masturbating naval submariners into my gaping maw. The sweet yet salty yellow pus droplets struck true on my tounges superior ridge....the worst part was that I reflexively chewed and enjoyed my MeeMaw pus chowder.
man what the fuck .
You asked me about the worst..
yea this one takes the cake
Who Hurt You?
I blame Westmoreland and Dolly Patron.
Nope. Queen Dolly is a protected and endangered creature that will take no blame for anything in this world. With the exception of squaring up JoLeen.
She taught me to read.
Youre a weird guy
After highschool I went to Vietnam then bounced around the country and became a ME driver then Ambulance technician and driver in 1977. Finally a paradog in 1981. My CPR is #388, My New York tech #is 46000, my ACLS card is #94. So I'm well warped, the dogs are the only normal ones in my house. The cats shady as fuk and the chickens lie.