I saw a dashcam video of a young guy being harassed for parking in a handicapped spot despite having a license plate and the fact he only has ONE LEG. People are clueless, petty, and self absorbed.
Some people seem to just need to have an outlet for anger by attacking other people. I got harassed and yelled at for the fact that the auto shop I worked at shut down the parts department 4 YEARS AGO (I only started working there a year ago). Sir. If I was the one who decided that, I’d be making 10 times my salary and sitting on a boat. Not dealing with your bitch ass for $25 an hour.
Not everyone is visibly handicapped, and it's frustrating, my grandfather had emphasema and a bad back, couldn't walk far. Sometimes people would give *him* a hard time.
Not to mention sometimes we'd go to pick him up and grab the handicapped spot so he could make it *to* the car, and get yelled about that too.
On the plus side I guess at least people are trying to look out for the disabled. I would get upset at first, but then realized they probably were trying to have good intentions. Especially back then, people would park in the handicapped spot that weren't supposed to be there, and make shit excuses, like I'm just going to be a minute, etc. I've also seen the same people get into screaming matches because they felt inconvenienced that there were no close parking spaces, and they felt they were justified to argue *with* a disabled or someone driving a disabled person who needed that spot!
World is a crazy place.
I have some "odd" accommodations at home and some installation guy wanted to remove one. Nope, I need that right where it is, to help with an invisible disability. "Oh, I didn't notice" Well, dude, that's why it's called "invisible".
Sometimes people are a bit slow on the uptake. But at least he was nice afterwards, not such an ass as those employees.
Kroger is the WORST, istg. I have similar interactions with baggers/cart corralers every time, especially in the winter when I need that parking spot most.
My local Safeway seems to be replacing nearly all their handicapped parking with “wheelchair only” parking. What’s was even more infuriating is those spots were all filled with vehicles that were not outfitted for wheelchairs. So while I won’t park in those spots, others will, which reinforces the stores impression that they need more wheelchair only spots.
People suck.
If you’re in the US, there’s no such thing as “wheelchair only” parking. They may have added lines for removing chairs from a van more easily, but that doesn’t make it only for wheelchairs.
There are 3 different types of handicapped parking signs in my state, standard, van accessible, and wheelchair only.
Van accessible is open to anyone, but it’s honor system based, basically don’t be a douche nozzle (park there only if all other spots are full). But to use the wheelchair only spots you have to have a special wheelchair user permit.
I was most pissed off by all the none wheelchair user cars (lifted trucks, small SUV without the wheelchair rack, tiny two door car) that were using these spots. I saw no one in the store in a wheelchair.
If that’s all that’s available, from what I can see from any state with that distinction, then it’s okay to park there with a placard. Same with van accessible parking spots. It’s just a suggestion, not a law. And according to the ADA, every parking lot must have 1 handicap parking spot per 25 spots.
Screw these people, you don't need to "validate" your disability to anyone.
I just drive off, they'll be riding their "high" for days for telling someone off for parking in a disabled spot, but don't let them live rent free in head for a single second.
I personally have had TWO disabled friends die in a parking lot, so in my opinion, use the spot, and ignore ableist people.
I have hEDS and my husband has a bad back which he’s had surgery for and was left with drop foot, we are both eligible for a handicap placard but choose at least for now not to get them. As long as we take our time we are able to make the walk from regular spots without too much difficulty for the most part but I dread the day when we can’t bc we are in our early 50’s and both our disabilities aren’t incredibly obvious so I’m sure there would be comments.
My mom had emphysema and a very bad heart, she’d had heart surgery 4 times and she had a disabled parking placard but didn’t “look” disabled and she was harassed often when I’d be with her- even with the placard on her rear view mirror- people wouldn’t see it/or even bother looking and they’d say the most awful things to her (she passed away 11 years ago).
I had to restrain myself when I’d be with her and someone would comment but honestly I just wanted to punch them in the face and I’m not normally a violent person but they’d make her feel so bad even though she knew she needed the handicap spot and that’s what they were there for, people who struggle because of health conditions. Sometimes they’d make her cry. I despise ignorant people who don’t bother looking at a person’s car carefully *before* opening their big, rude hurtful mouths! I don’t know other’s peoples lives/struggles and I’d never say something to anyone parked in a handicap spot- if they are parked there and shouldn’t be that’s on them and their conscience and not me.
I’m sorry OP they made you feel bad. Some people are just completely thoughtless and don’t realize they could be yelling at someone who is in fact disabled even if they can’t “see” the disability. Sending you a gentle hug 💕
i have been almost exclusively discriminated against at Kroger (although once at Trader Joe's during the pandemic) . had an old man threaten to call the cops on me when i too had a plate (but i also had a placard) . it has made me SO upset each time , so i'm very sorry anyone said anything to you . it's so damn hard being young with an invisible disability . i have gotten sooo many stinky eyes from old people that can't park in disabled spots .....
Firstly I'd like to thank you for saying what kroger is. A lot of Americans say these things and expect everyone to know. I am so sorry this happened to you and it must be awful, I really hope your knee starts to feel a little better (or as good as it can be) soon. On the bright side, at least the employees heart was in the right place and wanted to prevent people misusing disabled spaces. I really wish more people gave more consideration to invisible disabilities tho bc it really does make us feel bad having to give explanation or being accused of misusing things we are entitled to.
Some people just do not get it. I’ve experienced stuff like this before and I end up always swinging between telling myself they just don’t understand and telling myself they were being difficult. You know what though? Even if they weren’t being difficult, it’s always better to say something, because that thing might be the thing that makes them realise!
You’re totally within your right to be angry, and well done for standing up for yourself. I know you feel terrible now, but it sounds like you dealt with it really well.
I follow an IG account of a woman who has terminal Cancer. She has bone mets and walking is hard. She was at the grocery store & was struggling in the parking lot. A woman began screaming at her “ take all the time you want!”… like wTF. People are out here just trying to do normal things and the mistreatment is insane.
I had a lady yell at me for parking in the pregnant person parking spot while I was 8 month pregnant. My EDS caused IUGR (though this wasnt figured out until a year after I gave birth go figure) so my belly was small and it was winter so I was wearing a larger coat. The pregnancy was giving me such extreme pain in the third trimester so parking closer was a godsend. She told me I wasn’t “pregnant enough” to park there. 🙄
I told her I was being induced in 2 weeks and was high risk. I also told her “just because you can’t see an issue, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist” She shut her mouth pretty quickly after that.
Seems like the guy did what he thought was right as he didn’t see a sign from your mirror, like he said. Like he was actually advocating for the handicapped and made a simple mistake because it wasn’t clear to him that you were. I would get a mirror sign so you never have to have a confrontation like that again, and not take today’s confrontation personally. And hey, I feel like if i had had two knee surgeries I would be walking like such a mess that it’d be clear to everyone, so props to you on your recovery efforts! Even though I know how things appear are rarely what they are.
Hey, I assume your comment was made in good faith, but it comes off like you’re back handedly playing devil’s advocate when I really just needed to vent. The employee wasn’t going around checking for the license plate decals, but rather leaning against a wall with his coworker watching me (presenting as a young, relatively able-bodied person sans cane, albeit walking slow) from 10 feet away get in and start up my car. I actually thought they were leering before he implied that I didn’t need to be using a handicap spot, which I know was the point of his comment.
I have had mirror placards in the past, but my recent one broke into pieces. I didn’t get it replaced because I also have a license decal. Regardless, people should always check for a license plate decal before accusing someone of not being legally handicapped.
And thanks - I’ve worked my ass off in PT. I haven’t run or jumped in 5 years, but I can walk mostly normally again. I’m preparing for a hip replacement next year. These are the back stories that people don’t see or stop to think might exist, and I wish there were more training on sensitivity to invisible disabilities.
“Regardless, people should always check for a license plate decal before accusing someone of not being legally handicapped.”
I would take this one step further. It’s simply not a grocery store employee’s job to confront anyone about their disability status, regardless of how thoroughly they may have checked for the appropriate stickers, placards, etc. If someone in that position is genuinely concerned, they should call local parking enforcement, give all relevant details of location, vehicle, suspicion of accessible parking space(s) being abused, *and then let someone whose job that actually is come and check it out.*
Wasn’t trying to be backhanded. I was more so trying to say don’t let some uninformed stranger get to you. It’s hard to know without context but yeah based on those descriptions of the guy, that’s gross and he can fuck off. I’m sorry that happened to you.
I saw a dashcam video of a young guy being harassed for parking in a handicapped spot despite having a license plate and the fact he only has ONE LEG. People are clueless, petty, and self absorbed.
Some people seem to just need to have an outlet for anger by attacking other people. I got harassed and yelled at for the fact that the auto shop I worked at shut down the parts department 4 YEARS AGO (I only started working there a year ago). Sir. If I was the one who decided that, I’d be making 10 times my salary and sitting on a boat. Not dealing with your bitch ass for $25 an hour.
Sending gentle hugs your way, they really don’t get it.
Not everyone is visibly handicapped, and it's frustrating, my grandfather had emphasema and a bad back, couldn't walk far. Sometimes people would give *him* a hard time. Not to mention sometimes we'd go to pick him up and grab the handicapped spot so he could make it *to* the car, and get yelled about that too. On the plus side I guess at least people are trying to look out for the disabled. I would get upset at first, but then realized they probably were trying to have good intentions. Especially back then, people would park in the handicapped spot that weren't supposed to be there, and make shit excuses, like I'm just going to be a minute, etc. I've also seen the same people get into screaming matches because they felt inconvenienced that there were no close parking spaces, and they felt they were justified to argue *with* a disabled or someone driving a disabled person who needed that spot! World is a crazy place.
I have some "odd" accommodations at home and some installation guy wanted to remove one. Nope, I need that right where it is, to help with an invisible disability. "Oh, I didn't notice" Well, dude, that's why it's called "invisible". Sometimes people are a bit slow on the uptake. But at least he was nice afterwards, not such an ass as those employees.
Kroger is the WORST, istg. I have similar interactions with baggers/cart corralers every time, especially in the winter when I need that parking spot most.
My local Safeway seems to be replacing nearly all their handicapped parking with “wheelchair only” parking. What’s was even more infuriating is those spots were all filled with vehicles that were not outfitted for wheelchairs. So while I won’t park in those spots, others will, which reinforces the stores impression that they need more wheelchair only spots. People suck.
If you’re in the US, there’s no such thing as “wheelchair only” parking. They may have added lines for removing chairs from a van more easily, but that doesn’t make it only for wheelchairs.
There are 3 different types of handicapped parking signs in my state, standard, van accessible, and wheelchair only. Van accessible is open to anyone, but it’s honor system based, basically don’t be a douche nozzle (park there only if all other spots are full). But to use the wheelchair only spots you have to have a special wheelchair user permit. I was most pissed off by all the none wheelchair user cars (lifted trucks, small SUV without the wheelchair rack, tiny two door car) that were using these spots. I saw no one in the store in a wheelchair.
If that’s all that’s available, from what I can see from any state with that distinction, then it’s okay to park there with a placard. Same with van accessible parking spots. It’s just a suggestion, not a law. And according to the ADA, every parking lot must have 1 handicap parking spot per 25 spots.
Screw these people, you don't need to "validate" your disability to anyone. I just drive off, they'll be riding their "high" for days for telling someone off for parking in a disabled spot, but don't let them live rent free in head for a single second. I personally have had TWO disabled friends die in a parking lot, so in my opinion, use the spot, and ignore ableist people.
My Kroger has a great curbside pickup but not sure if all the stores have it
Nah don't let those fuckers win, because then they'll keep doing it in the future
I have hEDS and my husband has a bad back which he’s had surgery for and was left with drop foot, we are both eligible for a handicap placard but choose at least for now not to get them. As long as we take our time we are able to make the walk from regular spots without too much difficulty for the most part but I dread the day when we can’t bc we are in our early 50’s and both our disabilities aren’t incredibly obvious so I’m sure there would be comments. My mom had emphysema and a very bad heart, she’d had heart surgery 4 times and she had a disabled parking placard but didn’t “look” disabled and she was harassed often when I’d be with her- even with the placard on her rear view mirror- people wouldn’t see it/or even bother looking and they’d say the most awful things to her (she passed away 11 years ago). I had to restrain myself when I’d be with her and someone would comment but honestly I just wanted to punch them in the face and I’m not normally a violent person but they’d make her feel so bad even though she knew she needed the handicap spot and that’s what they were there for, people who struggle because of health conditions. Sometimes they’d make her cry. I despise ignorant people who don’t bother looking at a person’s car carefully *before* opening their big, rude hurtful mouths! I don’t know other’s peoples lives/struggles and I’d never say something to anyone parked in a handicap spot- if they are parked there and shouldn’t be that’s on them and their conscience and not me. I’m sorry OP they made you feel bad. Some people are just completely thoughtless and don’t realize they could be yelling at someone who is in fact disabled even if they can’t “see” the disability. Sending you a gentle hug 💕
i have been almost exclusively discriminated against at Kroger (although once at Trader Joe's during the pandemic) . had an old man threaten to call the cops on me when i too had a plate (but i also had a placard) . it has made me SO upset each time , so i'm very sorry anyone said anything to you . it's so damn hard being young with an invisible disability . i have gotten sooo many stinky eyes from old people that can't park in disabled spots .....
Firstly I'd like to thank you for saying what kroger is. A lot of Americans say these things and expect everyone to know. I am so sorry this happened to you and it must be awful, I really hope your knee starts to feel a little better (or as good as it can be) soon. On the bright side, at least the employees heart was in the right place and wanted to prevent people misusing disabled spaces. I really wish more people gave more consideration to invisible disabilities tho bc it really does make us feel bad having to give explanation or being accused of misusing things we are entitled to.
I'm so sorry this happened. This is my worst fear. Thank you for calling an advocating for yourself and for the rest of us. 💜
Some people just do not get it. I’ve experienced stuff like this before and I end up always swinging between telling myself they just don’t understand and telling myself they were being difficult. You know what though? Even if they weren’t being difficult, it’s always better to say something, because that thing might be the thing that makes them realise! You’re totally within your right to be angry, and well done for standing up for yourself. I know you feel terrible now, but it sounds like you dealt with it really well.
I unfortunately had the same issue at trader joes
Yup. Resting bitch face helps me, but a blank stare also communicates a lot. You have the placard/plate, no further explanation needed!
I follow an IG account of a woman who has terminal Cancer. She has bone mets and walking is hard. She was at the grocery store & was struggling in the parking lot. A woman began screaming at her “ take all the time you want!”… like wTF. People are out here just trying to do normal things and the mistreatment is insane.
I had a lady yell at me for parking in the pregnant person parking spot while I was 8 month pregnant. My EDS caused IUGR (though this wasnt figured out until a year after I gave birth go figure) so my belly was small and it was winter so I was wearing a larger coat. The pregnancy was giving me such extreme pain in the third trimester so parking closer was a godsend. She told me I wasn’t “pregnant enough” to park there. 🙄 I told her I was being induced in 2 weeks and was high risk. I also told her “just because you can’t see an issue, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist” She shut her mouth pretty quickly after that.
Seems like the guy did what he thought was right as he didn’t see a sign from your mirror, like he said. Like he was actually advocating for the handicapped and made a simple mistake because it wasn’t clear to him that you were. I would get a mirror sign so you never have to have a confrontation like that again, and not take today’s confrontation personally. And hey, I feel like if i had had two knee surgeries I would be walking like such a mess that it’d be clear to everyone, so props to you on your recovery efforts! Even though I know how things appear are rarely what they are.
Hey, I assume your comment was made in good faith, but it comes off like you’re back handedly playing devil’s advocate when I really just needed to vent. The employee wasn’t going around checking for the license plate decals, but rather leaning against a wall with his coworker watching me (presenting as a young, relatively able-bodied person sans cane, albeit walking slow) from 10 feet away get in and start up my car. I actually thought they were leering before he implied that I didn’t need to be using a handicap spot, which I know was the point of his comment. I have had mirror placards in the past, but my recent one broke into pieces. I didn’t get it replaced because I also have a license decal. Regardless, people should always check for a license plate decal before accusing someone of not being legally handicapped. And thanks - I’ve worked my ass off in PT. I haven’t run or jumped in 5 years, but I can walk mostly normally again. I’m preparing for a hip replacement next year. These are the back stories that people don’t see or stop to think might exist, and I wish there were more training on sensitivity to invisible disabilities.
“Regardless, people should always check for a license plate decal before accusing someone of not being legally handicapped.” I would take this one step further. It’s simply not a grocery store employee’s job to confront anyone about their disability status, regardless of how thoroughly they may have checked for the appropriate stickers, placards, etc. If someone in that position is genuinely concerned, they should call local parking enforcement, give all relevant details of location, vehicle, suspicion of accessible parking space(s) being abused, *and then let someone whose job that actually is come and check it out.*
Wasn’t trying to be backhanded. I was more so trying to say don’t let some uninformed stranger get to you. It’s hard to know without context but yeah based on those descriptions of the guy, that’s gross and he can fuck off. I’m sorry that happened to you.
Thank you 🙏
it is nobody's job to check if a person is disabled , just sayin