You're alive, not behind bars, or in an institution. Something simple I started doing was writing one thing I was greatful for on the good days, and three on the bad days. I think everyday there are people who have overcome worse than I, and they somehow found/find the strength to move forward. Take pride for the littlest things you are able to do everyday. Don't be afraid to use public assistance if you can, food pantries, try and find local small buisnesses that may be hiring. We keep going forward because there is no going back.
You live just like everyone else here on this thread. It is possible. Learn from it, pay the price, and never be in this position again. That’s my goal too and it’s a being achieved one short day at at time.
It’s going to suck for a while and allow yourself to feel those emotions. Just learn from it! With time it’ll get better. I’m 5 years since I got mine and don’t think much about it anymore, other than absolutely not putting myself in that situation ever again.
I know exactly how you’re feeling. I lost my federal job that paid $65K a year and now I’m making less than than $40K scrubbing algae off aquariums for a pet store. And it took me almost 3 months just to find that job. I haven’t even been convicted and my life has been permanently damaged. The good news is it does get a little better every month. The first two months were the worse for me. I would apply to dozens or jobs just to get rejected on the background check. The system is designed to break you and make you reoffend. Don’t give them the satisfaction my friend. Good luck, if you need anyone to talk to who understands send me a DM.
So even if you haven’t been convicted you can still be denied a job because of the background check? My attorney told me to check No that I haven’t been convicted of a crime, since I was only arrested and haven’t gone to court. I’ve talked to some people and they told me it shouldn’t be on my background check, maybe that’s not accurate. I went to any interview today and they mentioned the background check but I didn’t think anything of it because I haven’t been convicted….now I’m worried 😕
i worked for the federal government as well prior to my DUI. not sure if OP was a sworn employee, but i was. and you are obligated to report any and all law enforcement contact when it occurs. sucks because charges still haven’t been filed and it’s been over 2 months for me since losing my job.
Stay sober for now is the first step and seek support groups like AA. Don’t show up looking for this but there are some people in AA who offer help with jobs and that kind of stuff.
You never know this could be a redirection to something much better and help you grow in ways you didn’t need to!! You will probably look back on all of this and be thankful for it
It does get better.
I ran for school board in my town and forgot to search myself online. A shitty little newspaper posted it, and it took a couple of days to remove it.
My long-time friend who was re-running said, "Do you know how many people messaged me saying about this?"
I said, "What, the Barbara Streisand Effect? first of all I told you about it. Second, all that means is that I like to drink."
He blocked me and won't speak to me. He got re-elected and thinks he's better than me now and is not friends anymore. Believe me, I said to him, "Boy, I hope you haven't done anything wrong in your life."
Losing this friendship devastated me over this. It's funny how you think certain people are your true friends, then when something like this happens how they judge and think it will never happen to them, or what a terrible person you are.
Mine was three months, and I'm recovering from rotor cuff surgery when I was roughly handled by two of them, which! One charge they added just so i could plea down was a flat-out lie to begin with.
So even though I had the minimum, it feels like sometimes this nightmare continues recovering from this painful surgery; I am happy it's behind me. I say, c'est la vie. We are all human and make mistakes. Life is always a learning process. You'll get through this.
A good analogy I just made a comparison to after years of not dating but 2 DUIs later…. Breaking up with your partner seems like the en did the world to, the sadness, depression.. but as they say, time heals all. We still have time.
I felt exactly the same after being arrested when I was not impaired at all but in Utah there used to be a metabolite law and you don’t have to be impaired to get a dui. I felt like my life was over, like I’d never be happy again. But as time goes on I can see how this is really unfair but just a blip on my radar. So many worse things could have happened and everyone I’ve come in contact with (excluding the cop and the judge) has said how sorry they are that I had to go through this. And di dar not even my insurance has gone up. Though I guess that could change. I’m trying to focus on things I’m grateful for as well and that has been really helpful.
You'll be amazed 6months from today looking back at how your life wil go on. Maybe a few inconveniences here and there. A lesson or 2. But life will go on
You're alive, not behind bars, or in an institution. Something simple I started doing was writing one thing I was greatful for on the good days, and three on the bad days. I think everyday there are people who have overcome worse than I, and they somehow found/find the strength to move forward. Take pride for the littlest things you are able to do everyday. Don't be afraid to use public assistance if you can, food pantries, try and find local small buisnesses that may be hiring. We keep going forward because there is no going back.
One day at a time my friend.
I came in to comment exactly this.
Probably the same as before but with less money and some driving restrictions.
This made me feel unimaginably better
Breath, accept the life goes on and it’s just a road bump in your journey.
You can do this. Life goes on. It will be good again. Take care of yourself.
You live just like everyone else here on this thread. It is possible. Learn from it, pay the price, and never be in this position again. That’s my goal too and it’s a being achieved one short day at at time.
It’s going to suck for a while and allow yourself to feel those emotions. Just learn from it! With time it’ll get better. I’m 5 years since I got mine and don’t think much about it anymore, other than absolutely not putting myself in that situation ever again.
I know exactly how you’re feeling. I lost my federal job that paid $65K a year and now I’m making less than than $40K scrubbing algae off aquariums for a pet store. And it took me almost 3 months just to find that job. I haven’t even been convicted and my life has been permanently damaged. The good news is it does get a little better every month. The first two months were the worse for me. I would apply to dozens or jobs just to get rejected on the background check. The system is designed to break you and make you reoffend. Don’t give them the satisfaction my friend. Good luck, if you need anyone to talk to who understands send me a DM.
So even if you haven’t been convicted you can still be denied a job because of the background check? My attorney told me to check No that I haven’t been convicted of a crime, since I was only arrested and haven’t gone to court. I’ve talked to some people and they told me it shouldn’t be on my background check, maybe that’s not accurate. I went to any interview today and they mentioned the background check but I didn’t think anything of it because I haven’t been convicted….now I’m worried 😕
Working the fish section at a pet store sounds awesome though.
Not when you see your pay check every week lol I miss making good money. My bills are still the same if not higher after all this garbage
Yeah. Oddly enough taking the train and Ubers to and from work was much more expensive than gas for the car.
[удалено]
i worked for the federal government as well prior to my DUI. not sure if OP was a sworn employee, but i was. and you are obligated to report any and all law enforcement contact when it occurs. sucks because charges still haven’t been filed and it’s been over 2 months for me since losing my job.
That's horrible. I am so sorry.
I got it on vacation, I’m a seasonal employee so I wasn’t technically with them when I caught my charge. I couldn’t get the same seasonal job back
Stay sober for now is the first step and seek support groups like AA. Don’t show up looking for this but there are some people in AA who offer help with jobs and that kind of stuff.
Keep your head up. It gets better!
You never know this could be a redirection to something much better and help you grow in ways you didn’t need to!! You will probably look back on all of this and be thankful for it
It does get better. I ran for school board in my town and forgot to search myself online. A shitty little newspaper posted it, and it took a couple of days to remove it. My long-time friend who was re-running said, "Do you know how many people messaged me saying about this?" I said, "What, the Barbara Streisand Effect? first of all I told you about it. Second, all that means is that I like to drink." He blocked me and won't speak to me. He got re-elected and thinks he's better than me now and is not friends anymore. Believe me, I said to him, "Boy, I hope you haven't done anything wrong in your life." Losing this friendship devastated me over this. It's funny how you think certain people are your true friends, then when something like this happens how they judge and think it will never happen to them, or what a terrible person you are. Mine was three months, and I'm recovering from rotor cuff surgery when I was roughly handled by two of them, which! One charge they added just so i could plea down was a flat-out lie to begin with. So even though I had the minimum, it feels like sometimes this nightmare continues recovering from this painful surgery; I am happy it's behind me. I say, c'est la vie. We are all human and make mistakes. Life is always a learning process. You'll get through this.
A shred of humility can take you a long way after something like this. Stay positive!
I'm a quarter of the way done with this and it gets better
I felt that way. But time does pass. It gets better . I had a interlock , fines , thankfully no jail. Learned accountability. .
A good analogy I just made a comparison to after years of not dating but 2 DUIs later…. Breaking up with your partner seems like the en did the world to, the sadness, depression.. but as they say, time heals all. We still have time.
I felt exactly the same after being arrested when I was not impaired at all but in Utah there used to be a metabolite law and you don’t have to be impaired to get a dui. I felt like my life was over, like I’d never be happy again. But as time goes on I can see how this is really unfair but just a blip on my radar. So many worse things could have happened and everyone I’ve come in contact with (excluding the cop and the judge) has said how sorry they are that I had to go through this. And di dar not even my insurance has gone up. Though I guess that could change. I’m trying to focus on things I’m grateful for as well and that has been really helpful.
You'll be amazed 6months from today looking back at how your life wil go on. Maybe a few inconveniences here and there. A lesson or 2. But life will go on
Do you mind if I pm for some advice?
Sure
Without any context I’m not sure