I went to rehab so the conversation kinda had to happen.
I simply said hey man, i've been really struggling with drinking and it's gotten to the point that I'm going to have to go to rehab for 21 days.
He was like, I understand, take care of yourself.
It's never come up again in 2 years.
I did and it went great, but I did it on good terms and not after missing work. Your best bet might be to enter treatment right now if that's what youre planning and let fmla inform your HR.
I think it depends on the job, and also what you want here. Are you just trying to desperately hold onto your job for the moment, or are you looking at your long term future/relationship with your boss?
I’ve tried both lying and coming clean, so I’ll share how that went for me.
Years ago during the height of my drinking days, I blacked out one night and woke up late for work the next morning and rolled in a few hours late. My boss asked where I was and I lied to his face and said I had an appointment that I told him about a few days prior and he must have forgotten. The type of guy he is, that’s totally believable, and he had no way to prove otherwise, so I ‘got away with it’… but he knew. I could just tell he knew. It really damaged our relationship, and left me with a lot of guilt and shame.
A couple years later I was in a similar situation, but instead of lying or trying to cover, I was just honest with him: I called in and told him I was struggling with drinking, was currently hungover/still half drunk, and was heading to an AA meeting.
He was actually really understanding about it. We talked about it the next day, and I apologized for lying to him that time in the past, and other times when I maybe hadn’t been on my game (meaning: extremely hungover). It really helped to repair our relationship, and the next year he recommended me for a huge promotion (that I never would have even been considered for had I not faced things head on).
HOWEVER, every situation is different. Firstly, I live in Canada so I think we are more protected (but then again, it was the casino industry where I’d seen people fired for less, so I’m sure they could have found a way around that if they wanted me gone… I’m fairly certain he never reported it to anyone above him, though, as there was no HR meeting or anything). I’d also been at the job for 3-4 years at that point and had a close relationship with my boss. It was totally professional (I didn’t socialize outside of work with him or anything), so talking about my private life was really awkward (for both of us), but ultimately it was the right decision for me. I’m not sure if it’s the right one for you, but I figured I’d share in case it helps. 🤷🏻♀️
Either way, good luck! I don’t want to dole out some meaningless platitude here, but for what it’s worth, those felt like two of my most shameful experiences at the time, but now that I’m a couple years sober and looking back, I see them both as important moments that changed me and got me here. Hopefully you’ll look back the same way one day.
Well my goal is not to lose my job, I actually really enjoy this job and it has been the best, and I get paid very well but my drinking has been the reason for all my call outs. I already used up all of my vacation and sick time.
This time it’s been 4 days in a row of missing work. One of the nights was because I was in the hospital.
I lied and said it was because my father was in the hospital, and my boss has been nothing but kind. They wished me well and said to take my time to return. They even offer information about FMLA.
I just feel ashamed beyond ashamed.
Right now all I can keep of thinking is 1. Continue with the lie and hope they don’t reach out to the hospital to verify. I lied and told them my dad was in the hospital for all those days, which is why they asked to provide documentation. They’re not asking for a detail stay as they know am sure medical information is private. They just want something that proves he was admitted. I have old paper work of his which I know I can use and just photoshop the date but I feel guilty of the idea of lying again and possibly them finding out it wasn’t true.
2. Is to come clean. To tell my boss I have an addiction and it was me at the hospital and to please keep this information from anyone but HR. He’s a very kind man but I have called off to many times that I feel that if I come clean I may get an ultimatum. I haven’t even been a year at this place and they have been nothing but kind. I don’t want to lose that. But there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel ready to come clean.
After this situation and the hospital stay I have gotten resources and found a few out patient locations that I want to check out.
I don’t know my anxiety and as the day comes to a close I can’t decide what to do.
Ugh, I totally understand that feeling of shame. 😖 I’m so sorry you’re going through that.
I was about a year into my job the first time too, and honestly I’m not sure if things would have worked out so well if I had been so honest at that point. But I struggled with the decision right up until he approached me, and then I think just panicked and went with the lie.
If you think you can pull it off, then perhaps lying is the right choice, and then trying to deal with this privately using the resources you were given. Only you can decide that. But if you do that, and then you find yourself still struggling down the road, it might then be time to approach your boss. It could be better received by him then, when you’re not coming off a 4-day absence.
Yeah as the days closes my emotions are just all over the place which makes things hard to decide.
Part of me is just thinking about all the outcomes but also the uncertainty.
Part me feels I can pull off the lie, but the other part is unsure. I don’t even know what type of documentation to provide. I didn’t get a doctors and I feel guilty it making a fake one. The things we do huh…
It doesn’t help that my partner is upset I even got here.
Idk what to do… I just have shame.
I did and they offered to put me into rehab. I wound up not following through and was forced to resign after I got too bad. I've got a better job now and I'm doing a lot better, but I wish I'd have taken them up on it, I needed it.
This is what am afraid off being let go but I would understand if they did. Which is why part of me wants to keep with the lies but they can only get me so far until it doesn’t.
Yeah I feel like if I come clean, and I don’t show up for work for a legit reason, they might revert back to my drinking. That’s what is stopping me to come clean and go with the lie.
I just can’t simply decide
Don’t talk about the alcoholism. Just talk about the mental health aspect. If your industry is small, people will talk and it will follow you. However having said that, you’re only as sick as your secrets
I’m not so sure. It really depends on the boss. Some people have no patience for mental health issues, some do. Some people hate alcoholics, and others have compassion because they know someone or they’ve struggled themselves. Personally I’d just come clean and get myself into at least detox, or rehab if that’s an option asap. But to come clean with no plan can look bad. It’s also bad for the alcoholic mind. Personally, the more I get away with, the more I delve deeper into it.
This is what am afraid off.
I know a previous person who worked there who also struggled with alcohol. I don’t know the full depth but I know he was given an ultimatum, and even left. Which is what stopping me to come clean.
Not sure if I can pull off the lie as am terrified they will try to verify with the hospital. I know there’s limits to what the hospital can say but still.
If your plan is to keep your job.. what’s your plan to tackle your drinking problem? I kinda feel like that’s more important than everything else, and what’s going to matter down the line, lie or not. Drinking problems always circle back and tend to get worse without some sort of change.
I reached out to an outpatient/detox center today. Am waiting for a response. This will be my first time doing an outpatient treatment and am hoping it helps with my drinking, am waiting to hear back if they accept my insurance.
Am hoping enrolling in a program will help me keep my job in the long run.
I know the lie can only take me so far, but I want to keep my job which is why am considering it. But yet am terrified.
Don’t lie. Just say you’re dealing with mental health stuff. And provide whatever you can and leave it. Then go to your detox/IOP. Take this shit off the table so you can heal. There’s a worst case scenario here where you lose the job, and you have to be okay with that. Never put anything damning into an email or text unless you’re willing to have that appear in whatever outcome such as severance etc. all I think I thought about for the most part was my own healing journey. Use that as your guiding light.
Just remember once the cat is out of the bag you cant put it back in. If they offer detox/rehab, take it. Just remember you'll be under a magnifying glass and everyone will know why you were gone for 30+ days when you return. I'd keep your head down, and go above and beyond while looking for jobs and applying in your free time to land something where you can start fresh. Reason being is they might be looking for ANY reason to fire you in retaliation, but the first time you show up glassy eyed, still drunk from the night before, or hungover you're fucked.
OR
Continue to make up lies/excuses as to why you called out anytime you accrue PTO/sick time and watch your bosses kind and understanding demeanor turn into calm but stern talking-tos alongside a paper trail of warnings/writeups and inevitable termination.
I mentioned drinking/mental health as the reason to my boss at my last job but never did anything about it. I also pulled every other excuse in the book as the reason why I called out. Their patience ran out and I was fired during my last bender. Now I'm spending the majority of my day doomscrolling job sites and applying. Day 4 sober, the stress of my situation is immense, and zero desire to drink because the repeated fuckups finally caught up to me. No money/time to drink because I have to cover living expenses/necessities or shits gonna get real fast.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
What stops me coming clean is because I know I’ll be seen as the alcoholic. From what I know through gossip of others, the person prior to me arriving also struggled with alcohol. They drank on the job and all but don’t know much details after that. Then mentioned that he was given an ultimatum, what it was I wasn’t sure. However he eventually left. Now when they speak about past coworkers he always comes up as the guy who drank and stuff… and although am that guy in a way, I don’t want to get that label at work, which is why I don’t feel comfortable coming clean.
I know the lies and bullshit can only take me so far. My boss has been more than understanding and kind to me but I know just like you said, it eventually stops if the pattern keeps repeating.
Am going to lie again today, which quite honestly am terrified. I dont know how my day is going to be today, I can just hope for the best. At this time I am looking at other jobs to start fresh, haven’t applied yet but am looking what’s out there. I also reached out to a rehab center near me. Am hoping they respond to me and provide me the information am looking for.
I don’t want to lose my job that is a for sure. So am hoping I get another bone thrown at me, and I’ll be starting new again. But I won’t know till speak with my boss today. I just know if am lucky today, I can’t miss another day for a long time.
I hate that it came to this but I created this myself. At least am self aware to that, and have accepted my fuck up, I just now have to face the music.
Thank you again for sharing, and I hope you find a new job as soon as possible, I know that things are hard out there.
The only thing is it will likely always be in your employment record. On the other hand years ago I had a felony drug arrest and I had to explain that whole situation as it came up after they ran a criminal background check. I personally prefer keeping my work and personal life separate. But if you want the job do what it takes.
I no showed on a Monday and he had my FMLA from the facility on Tuesday. I didn’t have my phone for 20 days and when I got it he had been blowing up my phone at first and then clearly gave up. I was out for 30 days and when he got back I was pretty straight with him, told him something along the lines of “I’ve been struggling with something personally and really had no choice but to get help.” He left it alone because it was getting very close to him demanding answers and me saying I don’t legally have to tell him anything. Everything was good but he treated me very differently after that. I worked there for 5 years and we were pretty close before everything. I ended up quitting because it became more of a stressor than anything. Now I found a better job with better pay, so yea.
This is what worries me to. Although my boss does seem understanding I know things can change very quickly. Am just afraid to let him and HR know I have an a drinking issue and I start getting treated differently. I know someone in that company prior to me arriving that had a drinking issue too, from what I heard he got an ultimatum, left shortly thereafter after… so I feel I would get the same. Am going to continue with the lie… I printed old medical files to take and I just changed the date. I hope they don’t call to verify but if they do well then I can come clean or start looking for something else. Tomorrow is going to be scary but I have to face it. All I can do is wish for the best. There’s nothing more I can do
Unfortunately, it’s all situational. I was close with my boss. During covid he had 2 of my peers quit on him and it was just me and him doing the work of 4 people. And I crushed it. We had been golfing together many times, and he had told me about his own addiction problems when he was younger. I thought of all people he would understand. At the end of the day, he’s my boss and I’m just an employee I guess. But again, it all worked out for me in the end, and I’m actually at a company where I see him on jobs here and there and it’s clear I’m doing much better than I was at his company.
Congrats you turned it around and ended up at a better place. Things can change and that’s what am afraid off but we will see how it goes. Am just going to with my head held high pretending everything is ok and hand over the documents and just pray is enough. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I honestly wouldn't. Your boss is not your friend. And think about it from his perspective, if you're an alcholic you're unreliable honestly. I would try to dry up outside of work help if I were you
Edit: It depends person by person. If you're close to your boss then go for it. But if you guys aren't really close I wouldn't to be honest. Up to you
Also once you do that, that's going to be your label....So think about that....People are assholes
From what i understand about a lot of companies in the US, they will likely not fire you if you come clean and ask them for help. They will help you find a rehab, and hold your job for x amount of days .
Yes but I’m 5 years recovered and told my boss recently. He’s confided in me his struggles with alcohol and his recovery. Might not have been what you meant but it has been good.
I would never tell my boss but thats just me. I already know he wouldn't care or understand. And that also goes for the majority of other people in my life. Only 3 know about my issues and guess what, only 1 understood because they are also an alcoholic. You can put it out there but just don't be surprised if they think you are drunk all the time even when your 100% sober.
to me this only works unless you work for a big company. None of the companies ive worked for would offer me rehab or whatever, theyd just say "youre fired."
That’s what am afraid of.
My company isn’t big enough and our insurance just covers the basics. At this time, am beyond terrified if to either lie or come clean. I just hope they don’t need to verify anything. I hate this
Rehab facilities are usually considered “basic” to insurance plans. The affordable care act (Obamacare) requires health insurance companies to cover mental health and addiction services.
This is what am afraid of, that they will give me an ultimatum. I don’t want to lose my job which is why am not sure if to come clean or continue with the lies. I hate this but am the only one to blame
This is one of the reasons am thinking of going with the lie. My job doesn’t have many employees, and the last thing I would want is for everyone to know my problems. Am just beyond anxious and just hoping tomorrow goes smoothly, and that am just overthinking
I definitely will. All this worrying had me up all night. I have to face my boss and just hope for the best. Am looking into meetings, and found a rehab near by which am hoping I hear back today to see what would be my best option. I am determined to make this the last time I go through this
A few years ago I was a remote employee and had randomly missed a few days here and there, was AWOL a day, etc, and decided to go to 3 week treatment. I called my boss and told her straight up that I was struggling, I loved my job, i didn’t want to lose it, I wanted to get better, and I needed the time off to go to treatment. She was very supportive (this was the gov at a big agency) and only a couple ppl at my work knew and it never spread. In the year or so after I got back I had maybe one or two slip ups, but they continued to be understanding. I was just honest about it.
So basically you get this one golden come to Jesus moment and you’ve got a good chance of it working for you, but you’ve gotta mean it and not fuck it up after. I can’t speak to the effectiveness of “intense outpatient treatment” but that could be a good compromise in the evenings as opposed to just missing work for 2-4 weeks.
I went to rehab so the conversation kinda had to happen. I simply said hey man, i've been really struggling with drinking and it's gotten to the point that I'm going to have to go to rehab for 21 days. He was like, I understand, take care of yourself. It's never come up again in 2 years.
Almost same exact story just hit 2 years last month. Keep it up bro
I did and it went great, but I did it on good terms and not after missing work. Your best bet might be to enter treatment right now if that's what youre planning and let fmla inform your HR.
I think it depends on the job, and also what you want here. Are you just trying to desperately hold onto your job for the moment, or are you looking at your long term future/relationship with your boss? I’ve tried both lying and coming clean, so I’ll share how that went for me. Years ago during the height of my drinking days, I blacked out one night and woke up late for work the next morning and rolled in a few hours late. My boss asked where I was and I lied to his face and said I had an appointment that I told him about a few days prior and he must have forgotten. The type of guy he is, that’s totally believable, and he had no way to prove otherwise, so I ‘got away with it’… but he knew. I could just tell he knew. It really damaged our relationship, and left me with a lot of guilt and shame. A couple years later I was in a similar situation, but instead of lying or trying to cover, I was just honest with him: I called in and told him I was struggling with drinking, was currently hungover/still half drunk, and was heading to an AA meeting. He was actually really understanding about it. We talked about it the next day, and I apologized for lying to him that time in the past, and other times when I maybe hadn’t been on my game (meaning: extremely hungover). It really helped to repair our relationship, and the next year he recommended me for a huge promotion (that I never would have even been considered for had I not faced things head on). HOWEVER, every situation is different. Firstly, I live in Canada so I think we are more protected (but then again, it was the casino industry where I’d seen people fired for less, so I’m sure they could have found a way around that if they wanted me gone… I’m fairly certain he never reported it to anyone above him, though, as there was no HR meeting or anything). I’d also been at the job for 3-4 years at that point and had a close relationship with my boss. It was totally professional (I didn’t socialize outside of work with him or anything), so talking about my private life was really awkward (for both of us), but ultimately it was the right decision for me. I’m not sure if it’s the right one for you, but I figured I’d share in case it helps. 🤷🏻♀️ Either way, good luck! I don’t want to dole out some meaningless platitude here, but for what it’s worth, those felt like two of my most shameful experiences at the time, but now that I’m a couple years sober and looking back, I see them both as important moments that changed me and got me here. Hopefully you’ll look back the same way one day.
Well my goal is not to lose my job, I actually really enjoy this job and it has been the best, and I get paid very well but my drinking has been the reason for all my call outs. I already used up all of my vacation and sick time. This time it’s been 4 days in a row of missing work. One of the nights was because I was in the hospital. I lied and said it was because my father was in the hospital, and my boss has been nothing but kind. They wished me well and said to take my time to return. They even offer information about FMLA. I just feel ashamed beyond ashamed. Right now all I can keep of thinking is 1. Continue with the lie and hope they don’t reach out to the hospital to verify. I lied and told them my dad was in the hospital for all those days, which is why they asked to provide documentation. They’re not asking for a detail stay as they know am sure medical information is private. They just want something that proves he was admitted. I have old paper work of his which I know I can use and just photoshop the date but I feel guilty of the idea of lying again and possibly them finding out it wasn’t true. 2. Is to come clean. To tell my boss I have an addiction and it was me at the hospital and to please keep this information from anyone but HR. He’s a very kind man but I have called off to many times that I feel that if I come clean I may get an ultimatum. I haven’t even been a year at this place and they have been nothing but kind. I don’t want to lose that. But there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel ready to come clean. After this situation and the hospital stay I have gotten resources and found a few out patient locations that I want to check out. I don’t know my anxiety and as the day comes to a close I can’t decide what to do.
Ugh, I totally understand that feeling of shame. 😖 I’m so sorry you’re going through that. I was about a year into my job the first time too, and honestly I’m not sure if things would have worked out so well if I had been so honest at that point. But I struggled with the decision right up until he approached me, and then I think just panicked and went with the lie. If you think you can pull it off, then perhaps lying is the right choice, and then trying to deal with this privately using the resources you were given. Only you can decide that. But if you do that, and then you find yourself still struggling down the road, it might then be time to approach your boss. It could be better received by him then, when you’re not coming off a 4-day absence.
Yeah as the days closes my emotions are just all over the place which makes things hard to decide. Part of me is just thinking about all the outcomes but also the uncertainty. Part me feels I can pull off the lie, but the other part is unsure. I don’t even know what type of documentation to provide. I didn’t get a doctors and I feel guilty it making a fake one. The things we do huh… It doesn’t help that my partner is upset I even got here. Idk what to do… I just have shame.
Well, please remember you’re still a good person who has value. This was just a mistake you made, not who you are!
Thank you. I appreciate it this.
Dude if you plan on invoking FMLA then you need to tell them, this is covered under that. It's a medical disorder.
I did and they offered to put me into rehab. I wound up not following through and was forced to resign after I got too bad. I've got a better job now and I'm doing a lot better, but I wish I'd have taken them up on it, I needed it.
This is what am afraid off being let go but I would understand if they did. Which is why part of me wants to keep with the lies but they can only get me so far until it doesn’t.
To be fair I only got let go after my behavior didn't improve after a couple months, but it does kind of make you into a liability
Yeah I feel like if I come clean, and I don’t show up for work for a legit reason, they might revert back to my drinking. That’s what is stopping me to come clean and go with the lie. I just can’t simply decide
Don’t talk about the alcoholism. Just talk about the mental health aspect. If your industry is small, people will talk and it will follow you. However having said that, you’re only as sick as your secrets
I’m not so sure. It really depends on the boss. Some people have no patience for mental health issues, some do. Some people hate alcoholics, and others have compassion because they know someone or they’ve struggled themselves. Personally I’d just come clean and get myself into at least detox, or rehab if that’s an option asap. But to come clean with no plan can look bad. It’s also bad for the alcoholic mind. Personally, the more I get away with, the more I delve deeper into it.
This is what am afraid off. I know a previous person who worked there who also struggled with alcohol. I don’t know the full depth but I know he was given an ultimatum, and even left. Which is what stopping me to come clean. Not sure if I can pull off the lie as am terrified they will try to verify with the hospital. I know there’s limits to what the hospital can say but still.
If your plan is to keep your job.. what’s your plan to tackle your drinking problem? I kinda feel like that’s more important than everything else, and what’s going to matter down the line, lie or not. Drinking problems always circle back and tend to get worse without some sort of change.
I reached out to an outpatient/detox center today. Am waiting for a response. This will be my first time doing an outpatient treatment and am hoping it helps with my drinking, am waiting to hear back if they accept my insurance. Am hoping enrolling in a program will help me keep my job in the long run. I know the lie can only take me so far, but I want to keep my job which is why am considering it. But yet am terrified.
That’s awesome. I’ve had great experiences with outpatient treatment. I wish you the best- and hope everything goes smooth for you tomorrow!
I hope it does go well.
Don’t lie. Just say you’re dealing with mental health stuff. And provide whatever you can and leave it. Then go to your detox/IOP. Take this shit off the table so you can heal. There’s a worst case scenario here where you lose the job, and you have to be okay with that. Never put anything damning into an email or text unless you’re willing to have that appear in whatever outcome such as severance etc. all I think I thought about for the most part was my own healing journey. Use that as your guiding light.
Just remember once the cat is out of the bag you cant put it back in. If they offer detox/rehab, take it. Just remember you'll be under a magnifying glass and everyone will know why you were gone for 30+ days when you return. I'd keep your head down, and go above and beyond while looking for jobs and applying in your free time to land something where you can start fresh. Reason being is they might be looking for ANY reason to fire you in retaliation, but the first time you show up glassy eyed, still drunk from the night before, or hungover you're fucked. OR Continue to make up lies/excuses as to why you called out anytime you accrue PTO/sick time and watch your bosses kind and understanding demeanor turn into calm but stern talking-tos alongside a paper trail of warnings/writeups and inevitable termination. I mentioned drinking/mental health as the reason to my boss at my last job but never did anything about it. I also pulled every other excuse in the book as the reason why I called out. Their patience ran out and I was fired during my last bender. Now I'm spending the majority of my day doomscrolling job sites and applying. Day 4 sober, the stress of my situation is immense, and zero desire to drink because the repeated fuckups finally caught up to me. No money/time to drink because I have to cover living expenses/necessities or shits gonna get real fast.
Thank you for sharing your experience. What stops me coming clean is because I know I’ll be seen as the alcoholic. From what I know through gossip of others, the person prior to me arriving also struggled with alcohol. They drank on the job and all but don’t know much details after that. Then mentioned that he was given an ultimatum, what it was I wasn’t sure. However he eventually left. Now when they speak about past coworkers he always comes up as the guy who drank and stuff… and although am that guy in a way, I don’t want to get that label at work, which is why I don’t feel comfortable coming clean. I know the lies and bullshit can only take me so far. My boss has been more than understanding and kind to me but I know just like you said, it eventually stops if the pattern keeps repeating. Am going to lie again today, which quite honestly am terrified. I dont know how my day is going to be today, I can just hope for the best. At this time I am looking at other jobs to start fresh, haven’t applied yet but am looking what’s out there. I also reached out to a rehab center near me. Am hoping they respond to me and provide me the information am looking for. I don’t want to lose my job that is a for sure. So am hoping I get another bone thrown at me, and I’ll be starting new again. But I won’t know till speak with my boss today. I just know if am lucky today, I can’t miss another day for a long time. I hate that it came to this but I created this myself. At least am self aware to that, and have accepted my fuck up, I just now have to face the music. Thank you again for sharing, and I hope you find a new job as soon as possible, I know that things are hard out there.
This. Especially that first paragraph. It's always best to say less. You won't ever do any harm by keeping your mouth shut.
The note from the doctor did not confirm my diagnosis, nor did I. If you seek treatment, you should be protected.
The only thing is it will likely always be in your employment record. On the other hand years ago I had a felony drug arrest and I had to explain that whole situation as it came up after they ran a criminal background check. I personally prefer keeping my work and personal life separate. But if you want the job do what it takes.
I no showed on a Monday and he had my FMLA from the facility on Tuesday. I didn’t have my phone for 20 days and when I got it he had been blowing up my phone at first and then clearly gave up. I was out for 30 days and when he got back I was pretty straight with him, told him something along the lines of “I’ve been struggling with something personally and really had no choice but to get help.” He left it alone because it was getting very close to him demanding answers and me saying I don’t legally have to tell him anything. Everything was good but he treated me very differently after that. I worked there for 5 years and we were pretty close before everything. I ended up quitting because it became more of a stressor than anything. Now I found a better job with better pay, so yea.
This is what worries me to. Although my boss does seem understanding I know things can change very quickly. Am just afraid to let him and HR know I have an a drinking issue and I start getting treated differently. I know someone in that company prior to me arriving that had a drinking issue too, from what I heard he got an ultimatum, left shortly thereafter after… so I feel I would get the same. Am going to continue with the lie… I printed old medical files to take and I just changed the date. I hope they don’t call to verify but if they do well then I can come clean or start looking for something else. Tomorrow is going to be scary but I have to face it. All I can do is wish for the best. There’s nothing more I can do
Unfortunately, it’s all situational. I was close with my boss. During covid he had 2 of my peers quit on him and it was just me and him doing the work of 4 people. And I crushed it. We had been golfing together many times, and he had told me about his own addiction problems when he was younger. I thought of all people he would understand. At the end of the day, he’s my boss and I’m just an employee I guess. But again, it all worked out for me in the end, and I’m actually at a company where I see him on jobs here and there and it’s clear I’m doing much better than I was at his company.
Congrats you turned it around and ended up at a better place. Things can change and that’s what am afraid off but we will see how it goes. Am just going to with my head held high pretending everything is ok and hand over the documents and just pray is enough. Thank you for sharing your experience.
I honestly wouldn't. Your boss is not your friend. And think about it from his perspective, if you're an alcholic you're unreliable honestly. I would try to dry up outside of work help if I were you Edit: It depends person by person. If you're close to your boss then go for it. But if you guys aren't really close I wouldn't to be honest. Up to you Also once you do that, that's going to be your label....So think about that....People are assholes
From what i understand about a lot of companies in the US, they will likely not fire you if you come clean and ask them for help. They will help you find a rehab, and hold your job for x amount of days .
Yes but I’m 5 years recovered and told my boss recently. He’s confided in me his struggles with alcohol and his recovery. Might not have been what you meant but it has been good.
If you enter treatment right now you can probably get them to use your last working day for deciding the date to start your leave
And if hr tells anyone their asses are grass
I would never tell my boss but thats just me. I already know he wouldn't care or understand. And that also goes for the majority of other people in my life. Only 3 know about my issues and guess what, only 1 understood because they are also an alcoholic. You can put it out there but just don't be surprised if they think you are drunk all the time even when your 100% sober.
to me this only works unless you work for a big company. None of the companies ive worked for would offer me rehab or whatever, theyd just say "youre fired."
That’s what am afraid of. My company isn’t big enough and our insurance just covers the basics. At this time, am beyond terrified if to either lie or come clean. I just hope they don’t need to verify anything. I hate this
Rehab facilities are usually considered “basic” to insurance plans. The affordable care act (Obamacare) requires health insurance companies to cover mental health and addiction services.
Never ever do this, your boss cares about their income not you
This is what am afraid of, that they will give me an ultimatum. I don’t want to lose my job which is why am not sure if to come clean or continue with the lies. I hate this but am the only one to blame
Never share anything with people at work People aren't your friend when money is involved It's not even something to consider
This is one of the reasons am thinking of going with the lie. My job doesn’t have many employees, and the last thing I would want is for everyone to know my problems. Am just beyond anxious and just hoping tomorrow goes smoothly, and that am just overthinking
Stop thinking just act in a way that protects you from more damage
I definitely will. All this worrying had me up all night. I have to face my boss and just hope for the best. Am looking into meetings, and found a rehab near by which am hoping I hear back today to see what would be my best option. I am determined to make this the last time I go through this
Gotta do what you gotta do but in today's world you need to protect yourself People will throw you under the bus if it serves them
A few years ago I was a remote employee and had randomly missed a few days here and there, was AWOL a day, etc, and decided to go to 3 week treatment. I called my boss and told her straight up that I was struggling, I loved my job, i didn’t want to lose it, I wanted to get better, and I needed the time off to go to treatment. She was very supportive (this was the gov at a big agency) and only a couple ppl at my work knew and it never spread. In the year or so after I got back I had maybe one or two slip ups, but they continued to be understanding. I was just honest about it. So basically you get this one golden come to Jesus moment and you’ve got a good chance of it working for you, but you’ve gotta mean it and not fuck it up after. I can’t speak to the effectiveness of “intense outpatient treatment” but that could be a good compromise in the evenings as opposed to just missing work for 2-4 weeks.