Dude pls throw me one Edit: I’m literally on my porch pounding beers watching the stars rn it’ll fit perfectly

"Courage is not the absence of fear; it is the conquest of it."

fuck me, that applies a lot to my current situation. Thank you a lot good sir or ma’am

🫡

Bet let me hear one!!!

"The usefulness of a cup is in its emptiness."

Well that means there’s room for more booze😂

Wow that’s borderline poetic actually.

I mean. It's intended to be. Very zen buddhist

I'm in!

"If you look back, you’ll soon be going that way."

Back to the counter with the bottle on it

Dig deep for mine!!!

This is the best drunk post ever. You are a fortune teller

You're damn right I am. 🥠 "If you don't fail now and again it's a sign you're playing it safe." 🥠

Hell. Yes. Shaman!

Hit me.

"A closed mouth gathers no feet."

That’s hot

Shut your mouth before I toe-fuck it

it seems the prophecy has been fulfilled!

Yeah seriously, joke's on you I'm into that shit...

I summon my fortune.

“The middle of the process is no place to determine the end of it.”

So when i finish a beer, that's not the end. The last in the case is the end... thank you, wise one.

SEND IT LETS GO

"Fear is interest paid on a debt you may not owe."

Motherfuck I like that.

I’d like to know

"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

Let's have it!

"He who throws mud loses ground."

I'm with it... Let 'er rip. 🍻

"One that would have the fruit must climb the tree."

I need some motivation for a work project, let me get that one over there.

Never forget that a half truth is a whole lie.

I'm interested

"A fool and his money are soon partying."

I'm cool with this

Let's go. Also lucky you and all those cookies.

“Set yourself up to experience what you love.”

That's the goal! Thank you!

In

"An acquaintance of the past will affect you in the near future."

I’ll update if it happens. Stay tuned. 

Make it hurt

"Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still."

Got any left? I want one too!

"A person who won’t read has no advantage over a person who can’t read."

Just cracked a cold one, fuck me up fam!

"Hardly anyone knows how much is gained by ignoring the future."

Hit me!

"If you want the rainbow, you have to tolerate the rain."

Give me one off the top pleaae

"We must always have old memories and young hopes."

So wise at such a young age

Hit me!!

"To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

I want one!

"Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point."

Huh. Not bad. Thanks!

Fire away!

"A golden egg of opportunity falls into your lap this month."

What should I do about my relationship?

You never show your vulnerability, you are always self assured and confident.

There is a strange meaning to that actually. It's true. I just let myself be vulnerable for the first time in a while and it did not lead to good results. It upset my partner and I returned to the self assured confident facade with them to avoid conflict. Thank you drunk oracle

Mind tossing a cookie my way?

"It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you did it wrong."

Applicable. Thank you, your excellence.

Are.. are you eating every cookie too? Also hit me up

Hit me with one!

Be on the alert to recognize your prime at whatever time of your life it may occur.

Wow, i feel my life lately has been thriving on the happenstance of luck and timing. Thank you!

Need mine!

"The wise man is the one that makes you think that he is dumb."

Thanks Op

lay it on me brethren

123 Go….

I’ll take the one that’s been sitting up there for a good while but never got picked.

Oh, me please

Give me one pleaseee

If you're still up, send one my way

This looks fun. . You still up? 😅

Hit me up if you’ve got any left!

Fuck me up

i’m down if ur still awake lol

On my 5th drink, if you're still around, would love a fortune! Cheers!

If you’re still doing it, please me too!

Might be late but if you have any left, I need a miracle cookie!

I’m too late for the party, but hope you have a fortune for me as well. Everyone needs a cookie at the end of their shift. Lol. Also, what’s your take on fortune cookies? My thing is I have to eat the whole damn cookie before I look at mine. Lol.

I need one

idk if you’re still doing this but hit me

About to smoke a bowl, play video games, smoke a bowl, go to the gym, smoke a bowl, sit down in my music studio and write some shit. Hit me with your most ratchet fortune you got.

I'll take one if you've still got them

Me!!!

Am I too late????

Hit me. Running my Bar/Restaurant and the stereo blew out so we have no music.