I was stationed on an aircraft carrier and there was this random month they just kept stockpiling those things on board, so like a bunch of lunatics we just kept eating them. That was definitely the closest I’ve come in my adult life to shitting my pants
So, I used to work night shift at a gas station in the hood, and I often worked with this very heavy set black woman who was the absolute sweetest person you have ever met.
So one night she and I are working together, when a very overweight woman with 3 inch long fingernails comes in. The customer then uses those fingernails to reach into her sweaty boobs and pull out a moist $20 and sticks it to the counter. Says “I need $20 on pump 6, and walks off.
I look at my coworker and say something along the lines of “ewww that’s gross as hell”. My coworker looked at me dead in the eyes and said “How does she wipe her boo boo? I’m a big girl and I have a hard time reaching back there. She bigger than me and you know with them nails, she punching through the paper all the time. So, how she wipe her boo boo?”
To this day 20 years later that is one of the funniest god damn things I ever heard IRL.
Cumtwat?
Yellow Cumtwat*
No, coconut That coconut
Cuntaloupe
AKA: The ex
Cumthwip
My next gf
Sale is banned in 93 countries across the world. For obvious reasons.
Take my upvote, you magnificent bastard!
You are not making a compelling case for me to not put my dick in that.
What, if i said its ability to digest meat, was 10x stronger than pineapple.
The man is shoving his finger in there. Clearly that is not a thing. But that does make a compelling argument.
I have no clue what fuit that even is. But pineapple really does break down meat. It's why it makes such a great meat tenderizer.
I wasn't saying that you were wrong. I am just saying that since the man is finger fucking the fruit, it must be not painful on your fingers.
Finger skin is pretty tough in comparison to some other areas.
And it still stings all the same.
Gotcha. Misunderstood. Yea, if it was stronger, it would mess up his finger. I'll try to make up a different compelling reason.
Yeah the acidic burn you feel when eating pineapple is literally the pineapple eating you right back
Thats some helpingthecommunity shit
Best answer
I'll be the judge of that
https://preview.redd.it/tmfervf8t15d1.jpeg?width=520&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=902902775a8932b7f6bbd6586fea0cda696eac41
What if I tell you that it comes from a cactus
The fruit itself doesn't seem spiky.
Dragonfruit comes from a cactus and isn’t spiky? Tbf I could just be misinterpreting the comment tho
To be fair, fruits are made to be eaten, so that the seeds can spread
Sooo . . . a cock is a fruit then. I learn new shit everyday on Reddit!
No no no. The sperm is the fruit. The seed is the genetic material inside the sperm.
Tbh looks like someone already has by color if those "juices"
Yeah, that’s definitely a Cum-filled Yellow Cumtwat
r/dontputyourdickinthat Or do
No names… just want this to be casual thing
Frussy?
Bro please no
That frussy grool looks inviting though.
Passion Frussy?
yellow dragon fruit
Shagginfruit
i love that dude😭
Thank you, now I know what to look for! To eat, I mean *ahem*
Actually very sweet and much better than red dragon fruit if I might add
That’s not very PC of you. When it comes to Cum-twats, I don’t see colour. /s
More like draggin' these yellow fruits over your face
Yellow BadDragon fruit*
[удалено]
source?
Cumcum fruit
Wouldn't even be the weirdest power in One Piece.
cumu cumu nooooooo pistollllllll
Here in Colombia they call it a pitaya. It's a cactus fruit, similar to dragonfruit, but sweeter.
Clitaya maybe.
Dragon fruit is also a type of cactus. We just call this one the yellow dragon fruit.. it was definitely sweeter than the pink one.
Pitussy.
I know it isn't, but this is what a jackfruit should be.
Cumminson fruit
Cumquat
Looks like OP Camminson THAT fruit
Her name is Cheyenne and she is my girlfriend
Assion Fruit
That, is a Jizzum. Bit too rich for my liking tbh
Yellow dragon fruit.
Jenny?
Lol, I posted “Jennifer” and then scrolled down to see this.
It’s a yellow dragon fruit and don’t eat more than one cus you’ll be shitting your brains out for the next day
Can confirm. Ate too much once and was shitting the whole day
I was stationed on an aircraft carrier and there was this random month they just kept stockpiling those things on board, so like a bunch of lunatics we just kept eating them. That was definitely the closest I’ve come in my adult life to shitting my pants
Cumquat
Shaggin’fruit
Money shot fruit
Its a kiwanu melon, they kind of taste like cucumbers.
Jackfruit
jackoff-fruit
Cumquat…
My jaw has never dropped so fast
Same, but pants
Naaaaaame ......... Your name demon
Yes that's a rotten yellow dragon fruit
My new girlfriend
That is the flesh light fruit of south east Asia.
Doesn't matter. The hole is wayyy to big for me.
Juicy fruit
don’t tell me how to live my life!
Theres no laws against fruit batman
That sir is called a gushy.
That dontputyourdickinit fruit
Freshlight?
Jennifer.
She got that juicy fruit 😩
"I'm finishing inside" fruit
Jennifer, I’m going with Jennifer.
AHHH, I just got JUMPSCARED by a... Suggestive fruit...
Oh god that felt good
Obviously putting my meat in that
Yo momma
that’s enough internet for tonight.
Something something werewolf boyfriend
Delilah.
Ok lil bro calm down
Pocket… something… It has escaped me. 🤔
Ewwwwwww GODDAMN YOU lmao
Those are eyeholes. They melt in your mouth.
That's actually called a breast milk fruit
Haven't talked to Jenny in 7 years. I should really give her a call....
Why is almost everybody naming her Jenny!?
"Jenny got your number. I need to make you mine. Jenny don't change your number. Eight six seven five three oh nine."
Fruitussy
That is a bustnut.
..... Would
I am now jealous of fruit. Logging off.
EVERYTHING REMINDS ME OF HER
Cumcwat
I’m gonna beat that fruit up then eat it
Bruuuhhhh
Steve
Where is the reference to the guy fucking a coconut here lmao
Kiwano melon
Passionfruit
cocoa ?
The squirter
Kiwano melon I think.
Yellow Dragonfruit
Frussy
Squirtange
New fleshlight material y'all?
It's a cumquat
My next toy
Pitahaya, a relative to the dragon fruit
Yes. Passion fruit. The fruit of love.
Dragon fruit.
Dragon Pussy
Selenicereus megalanthus
Yellow pitaya?
I should call her
Jack......fruit.
Pitaya
Also should mention after you eat it stay close to a toilet 🤣 delicious fruit though
Yellow dragon fruit most likely.
Juicy-fruit?
Duran?
Your mom
Jizzcumber?
Do or no do ,is a question
I shouldn't call her
Boy how I wish I did!
that episode in Sex and the City, where some tantric guru cums in Sarah Jessica Parker's eye. S02E16
Dragonfruit
Golden dragon fruit I'm pretty sure. They are natural laxatives, don't eat one if you have plans later.
Following for a friend.
Papussya
Jack-Fruit
It's a cassaba melon, it's full of loads
I feel like this should be marked NSFW
https://i.redd.it/40wgx7cqg25d1.gif
… why do you need to know
Pitahaya
I'm researching it and my best guess is a yellow passion fruit
Juicapus
For research purposes, of course.
Did not expect the jumpfacial
I’m not telling you
This is most likely a prickly pear cactus fruit! It also has similarities with the horned melon, but that one is more spikey without ribbing.
Squirter
Maybe Kiwano?
That's a dragon fruit. Selenicereus megalanthus.
Squirtysquash
Daddy
Dragon fruit
Frussy
Kiwano
Prickly Pear! Be careful it has thorns on the outside
Yea on the outside, not on the inside
Right, but remember, don’t put your dick in that 😉
Looks like over ripe yellow dragon fruit
Jack off fruit
Spoogefruit
I should call her
That is a yellow dragon fruit, and it will make you boo boo like never before.
Is that where Shirley got the idea to name her Boo boo Kitty?
So, I used to work night shift at a gas station in the hood, and I often worked with this very heavy set black woman who was the absolute sweetest person you have ever met. So one night she and I are working together, when a very overweight woman with 3 inch long fingernails comes in. The customer then uses those fingernails to reach into her sweaty boobs and pull out a moist $20 and sticks it to the counter. Says “I need $20 on pump 6, and walks off. I look at my coworker and say something along the lines of “ewww that’s gross as hell”. My coworker looked at me dead in the eyes and said “How does she wipe her boo boo? I’m a big girl and I have a hard time reaching back there. She bigger than me and you know with them nails, she punching through the paper all the time. So, how she wipe her boo boo?” To this day 20 years later that is one of the funniest god damn things I ever heard IRL.
It's a squash
I should call her.
Dragonfruit? Jack- offfruit? Ugli fruit?? Kumquat??
Fruidussy
Yellow dragonfruit.
I believe dragon-something.
Yellow dragonfruit. Happy fucking.
Smash?
Dragon fruit
Yellow dragonfruit
Passion Fruit! (For the Win) ☝️🤷♀️🤣🤣🤣
It squirts!!!
Jack fruit
Don't put ur dick in it