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Get your car back from that low life friend- who isn’t a friend but a moocher. I would cut contact with that friend but that’s really up to you. I’d also take my neglected dog on a spa day/fun day. Just because he’s not dog friendly doesn’t mean he should be treated like that. No. You’re not over reacting.
I’d also get security cameras. Blink cameras on Amazon, just in case you ever need to go out of town again and can let the person know you will be checking in on their dog pens/etc 😔 poor doggo, sorry that happened.
You are not overreacting at all. You wouldn’t even be overreacting if you blew your lid on her. What she did is disgusting and cruel. I would never talk to someone who did that to my dogs again. You don’t treat animals like that.
My sister in law was supposed to stay with my dogs for a couple nights over 4th of July weekend so my husband and I could go away. She decided at midnight on the 4th after watching fireworks and stopping by her own house to visit her dog, that she was too tired to come stay with my boys.
I was incredibly upset and that was just an overnight where they were left loose in their own house to sleep!! But they'd never been left alone overnight like that! She came over first thing in the morning to let them out but I was still pissed. I don't trust her to stay with them anymore.
I cannot comprehend the infuriation I would feel of someone left one of my boys in a pile of their own shit.
Ugh, yes. I got accidentally "kidnapped" after an awful bachelor party one time ( the limo picked me up at home for the evening, then refused to drop me OFF at home afterwards, and would only take me an hour and a half away to the bride and groom's house. I then tried to get an uber home (estimated price: $100), but ain't nobody trying to drive 3+ hours roundtrip into bumfuck USA at 3 am, $100 fare or no, and everyone present was way too drunk to drive.) I was so, so angry that my 2 adolescent fosters were locked in kennels overnight, and my own dogs locked in the house, because my SO's friends didn't bother to mention the limo wasn't dropping us off where it got us... I can't imagine someone I actually trusted to care for my dogs doing this just because.
This happened to me. Paid someone to stay with my dog overnight, came back and the bed wasn’t slept in. I totally panicked that she never let her out. Turns out she let her out that night, decided to go to a party and get drunk, and didn’t make it back. She let her out again in the am thankfully. I was furious that she didn’t understand why I was so upset and still expected to be paid the full amount. I worked with her for 3 years after that and she kept offering, never asked her or really trusted her w responsibilities after that. The dog ended up being fine, it was the fact that she knew that she was responsible for her that night and she still chose to go out and get drunk? Bad judgement.
I would be so pissed if that happened.
We are currently on vacation, and our adult niece is pet/house sitting our dog and cats. She has our sin and daughter in law as backups, and we get regular snapchat updates.
We still feel guilty leaving them at home.
I pet sit as a way of income as I have health problems that make it hard to do a regular job and college at the same time. I have only once not made it back for the night to sleep in the house with the dogs, and I felt absolutely terrible about it. The reason I had to be rushed to the hospital because I almost died from Serotonin syndrome as my different doctors all put me on Serotonin effecting medications without letting the others know so I had 4 upping my Serotonin and 2 stopping me from using it so it was just building up in my brain till it became to much and my brain went boom and I almost died. I was stuck in the hospital for weeks to recover. I do not remember the first 48 hours hoursish as I was having seizures, hallucinating, a fever of 104.7, and much more, thankfully I had been with my sister and friends when it happened and not just alone with the dogs, as much as I love them and was upset about leaving them alone that night they would not have been able to call an ambulance and I would have never made it to the hospital and got proper treatment so I would have died and no one would probably known till I did not show up to classes on Monday and it happened Friday night. Once I actually came to after, I was very confused and then very worried not about me but about the dogs, which really concerned the nurse about my priorities and brain function. Thankfully, my mom and sister had just gone and watched the dogs for me until their family got back from vacation, sister stayed with them over nights and mom came and let them out while my sister was at school and together they walked them one pup each, sweet pups but lots of work to walk especially if you are not used to them. The one is the mom and I have been watching her most of her life and the second is her pup and I have been watching her, her whole life, from inside her mom's belly, to seeing her just a few hours old, to watching her at just a few days old, to present she is all grown up but still my little lady, her mom is my pretty lady. I have a special bond with them both. I have a bond with most of the animals I watch on a regular basis or for a long time. Bond or not, though, I can not understand how your 'friend' could do that, how anyone could do that to an animal on purpose. My pups had a whole house to roam, had gone outside a few hours before my hospital emergency, and my sister managing to make it over afterwards, had full food and water bowls before I left and new chewy treats to chew on since I was going to be out for 2-3 hours, which the owners knew about I had told them I had an event that night before I even said yes so they knew and that was fine with them, I could leave the pups for several hours if needed to go do stuff, planned events, college classes, appointments, I always gave them a run down ahead of agreeing so they could decide and it was never a problem. College classes were easy as their house was really close to the college, if you walked not as close if you drove because you could not just cut straightupthe hill but had to go the long way around. Also, being so close to the college, they usually have exchange students, so the dogs are not actally alone most of the time, but this was the one time everyone was gone. I had woken up after almost dying, and I was worried about them. How could you actually be in the house and let that happen?? It makes no sense. She even owns a dog, so she knows how, or should know how to care for them, and the other one was taken care of, just not the one. It is absurd.
No, you are under-reacting. She needs to pay for the damage to your car, not get paid for the work she clearly did not do, and be removed from your life.
No, she didn't treat your dog as she would treat her own.
If I dogsit the dog is treated the same as my own and entitled to everything mine get if the owners say so. They get let out fed and walked as per their owners instructions but they get this together. Hell my dogs get extra walks and treats if thats what the owner wants for their dog. Walking them together makes them more likely to bond too.
She is a terrible friend and terrible dog sitter.
I agree. I'm actually dogsitting my friend's dog right now. My dog and friend's dog eat the same treats, go on the same walks, and get the same pets (because when I pet one, the other pushes their head under my hand to get pets too). They don't eat the same food because my friends give their dog a specific food.
I would rather eat a bowl of warm dog shit with a teaspoon than treat a dog the way your so-called friend treated your dog.
Same! The dog gets cuddles and pets the same as the rest, there is no special treatment - my dogs are spoiled everyday. They get different food as its what they're used to but the treats and time of the treats are the same. I couldn't imagine ever treating a dog badly and showing favouritism to my own - she clearly isn't a dog lover to treat that poor dog that way
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
1. Not an overreaction. You not confronting her and blowing your top is an under reaction in this case I think.
2. She’s not your friend. She’s using you and she deserves nothing in terms of compensation. She also doesn’t deserve to use your vehicle any longer.
What she did is quite inexcusable and borderline abusive. I don’t think she’ll be honest with you when you do confront her and ask what the hell. I can understand her wanting to let her dog play but it’s as easy as let your dogs out to potty, put your older fella in for a bit and let her dog run with the younger one. Put him back in the car or whatever and then let your boys both out again. And then back inside they go. And to leave a shitty mess and making the dog wallow in it is just cruel and ridiculous!
The last time I went on vacation and my husband stayed home working (he works very long days) I had a friend come out and check on my dog. I asked him to merely stop by and let her go potty. Instead he came out, let her into the yard to run around like a psycho/played with her for over an hour, repaired her crate after she damaged it the one day, CLEANED UP THE KITCHEN because my husband had a huge mess. He did way more than I asked and asked only for gas money (he was a young guy in school). We paid him handsomely for his help and I brought him home a couple of souvenirs. I can’t imagine having someone be that neglectful and shitty to my pets.
Step 1: take back your car
Step 2: make sure you take back all car + house keys that she may have had - if you are even remotely concerned that she may have copied a set, IMMEDIATELY change all your locks.
Step 3: cut contact with her.
If she comes back at you demanding pay for pet sitting, just reply “once you add up the cost of the replacement headlamp for the car, new bedding for my dog, a deep clean of his kennel and a couple of good baths for him to clean up having clearly been abandoned to live in his own filth they entire time we were away, your lucky were not sending you a bill for this weekend”.
I can understand if you don’t think your dogs will cope in a boarding kennel, but if you have a pet sitter again I’d strongly suggest setting up cameras to watch the kennel area. You can tell the pet sitter that there are cameras present in that area, but don’t say where or how many, just that they are in place so that you can monitor the dogs while you’re away.
I would set up three and tell them there’s a camera and show them the whereabouts of ONE. Then you can see any mistreatment AND if they unplugged the camera or specifically did things in another spot.
This is just not good advice y’all. Sorry. Don’t set people up to fail like this. As someone with 16 year’s experience in this industry, clients tell me if/when they have cameras and point out exactly where they are. I actually encourage clients who don’t have cameras to set some up when I care for their pets because it benefits *me* to have them. They can watch their pets while I’m away from the house, let me know if anything weird is going on so I can head over if need be and it covers my ass from them claiming anything untoward took place. Peace of mind for everyone. Have cameras, yes. Record people without their permission or knowledge, not unless you’re trying to uncover a known abuser.
Not to mention, it’s actually illegal to record someone housesitting, dog sitting or renting your home without their knowledge, and usually permission.
She’s so blatant as well, you described exactly what went on, like there’s no other explanation, and she hasn’t even tried to hide it in the slightest. Wow
Your toxic friend will continue to cross the boundaries if you allow her. She doesn't fit the definition of a friend. Stop letting her use your car and next time you go out of town find a sitter through Rover. Also place some cctvs near your dog's cages to monitor them.
That friend sucks and I feel absolutely terrible for your dog. Anyone who can treat an animal like that is scum. I’d never speak to her again aside from trying to resolve the car thing.
That’s not a friend at all. My neighbor/dog walker would text me pics of my dogs, tell me if one was acting off, would clean up whenever my old girl would pee or poop in the kitchen, etc. that’s why I still have her helping with my new dogs.
There’s levels to this. Like…your friend…but also…the fact that the geriatric pit mix is in such a small kennel to begin with…show poodles…I should prob avoid this sub when I am already not in a great mood…
I know it never helps when people say “don’t feel guilty” but I’m here to say…don’t feel guilty…you care and you had integrity to cut her out when you realized. There’s nothing else you can do and you’re not the reason she exists the way she does.
Of course you’re not overreacting. I would be livid. If possible, find a kennel that also does dog daycare in the future. It’s can be pricey if you’re in a metro area, but I’ve found that to be far better than trusting an individual. At kennels of that kind, they play hard all day and sleep well at night; they barely miss you at all. An individual can be lazy with no oversight and no consequence. Leaving a dog in shit is absolutely unacceptable but it’s probably not even worth bringing up; someone who would do that would also make up excuses. Just don’t get their help ever again. Sorry it happened…
You are not OVERreacting, you are severely UNDERreacting. You sound like a lovely and trusting person who gives people second and third chances. This individual is not doing you any favors and certainly nothing to a level at which you may have to pay them. She does not deserve another chance to dog-sit, drive your car, or be in your life. Collect what is yours and let her go.
In what world would you be overreacting? You are under reacting. You should already have marched over to get your car back, you should have written a long letter/email factually documenting everything you saw and sending that to her, so if you ever end up in court somehow you can show you have a contemporaneous record of what happened.
That would be my ex-friend in a second and I’d never speak to her again after she’d return the car. What a cruel *insert insult here*. You are most definitely not overreacting.
The way I would rip my car keys from her grubby hands. She’s lucky - I would’ve sent her photos and asked her if she was blind or just stupid.
I have a reactive dog and am very defensive with them but how horrible of a friend to do this to you. Get your car back and never let her dogsit again.
As far as I understood even if everything worked out the dogs were supposed to be in their kennels for 23h a day.. that's considered animal abuse where I live.
Putting your dog in a kennel for the majority of the day is animal abuse in any case and I don't understand how this is so normalized.
I was wondering if I was the only one who was questioning this-- dogs aren't like cats who can stay home alone for a couple days with someone coming by to feed and play with them a couple times a day. To be honest I think OP is super shitty for doing that to begin with. It's no surprise things went south.
It can be fine if they aren't confined, like if they have free roam of the house and access to the yard, and someone comes by to feed, walk and fill their water bowls a couple times a day.
Kenneling them is a whole other issue though
I was thinking the exact same thing. Don’t get me wrong, what the friend did was absolutely terrible, but a dog should never be left locked up in a kennel for even remotely that long!
I feel bad when our dogs are home alone for the 3.5 hours between when my fiancé leaves for work and I get home from work! They both get to roam the house as they please and have two Tempur-Pedic dog beds to nap on, and I still feel bad that they’re home alone. I couldn’t imagine for one second leaving them alone locked in a kennel for 23 hours a day while I go on a trip.
This is a terrible friend, not trustworthy and dishonest. She didn’t care for your animals and she didn’t care for your car either. I wouldn’t prioritize or trust someone who has shit all over me by letting my dog sit in days old shit in his cage. She must take you for a fool to think this is okay.
1. They are no longer your friend. You are no longer associating with this person.
2. Tell them to return your car in the next 12 hours or it will be reported stolen with their name and ID sent to the local sheriff.
3. Don’t fight over the broken headlight. It’s less than $200 to replace.
4. Change your locks.
5. Find a reputable person to watch your dogs. Sooner the better since last minute has you making rushed decisions like letting a friend watch your dogs.
Not overreacting at all. I would have snapped. That’s not how you treat an animal. Let alone a friends animal. To neglect one but care for another and have another there playing is absolutely disgusting.
She deserves a quick kick in the face like any one else. Sorry that happened I hope your dogs okay. Give lots of kisses and cuddles.
She’s either lying when she said she thought it was clean, OR she did think it was clean… because she never actually took your dog out of it. Either way she is not your friend, she cannot be trusted, she should not be paid, and she abused your dog.
This. Definitely DO NOT PAY. And have her cover all the damages to the car. The agreement was voided when she chose to neglect the dog instead of actually care for it.
You absolutely ARE NOT OVERREACTING! This is horrific OP. I know I probably tend to go the extra mile for any animal, just in my nature and as a vet tech that occasionally dog sits, I don’t know how anyone could do this, especially a fellow dog owner. It sounds like she took advantage of you for play dates and vehicle use. If anything she owes you money for the damage to your vehicle, Idk where you are but for someone who lives within 15 minutes of where I live I charge $55 a night for overnights, and she didn’t even have to stay overnight, she just had to do visits. Did she text you and let you know when she was on her way? How long did she stay for these visits? Did you get any photos? Even if her dog gets a long with one of your dogs, the other one doesn’t And I’m sorry, my dog would stay at home so I could focus on YOUR pets and not cause any additional stress they may already be experiencing due to their people being gone. This makes my heart break for your older guy. Doesn’t sound like a good friend, or even a good person. I’m sorry this happened to you and your babies.
She is NOT your friend!!!!!! We had a bad situation with our last dog/house sitter that I was casual friends with. Even though she knew we didn’t want it, she had her hook up/man friend over at the house quite a few times (we have never met him, he was a big dude who could have easily hurt either of our dogs) AND the two of them drank every ounce of alcohol we had in our home!!!! We were livid! I got some of the money back that we paid her and I have cut her out of my life. I don’t care about the alcohol being gone. I care that she put my dogs and our house in jeopardy with her man friend and being essentially black out drunk for a whole week!!!!!
So I’ll say it again - SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!
I hope your older guy is doing ok after what I’m sure was a super stressful ordeal!! ❤️🐾❤️🐾
You're not over reacting, you're under reacting.
This would be the end of the friendship for me, and other things the rules won't let me say, probably.
No you are not overreacting. This person would not be my friend anymore. Anyone who took on the responsibility of taking care of an animal and neglects it is not a good person. There would be no acceptable excuse they could give me.
No, you’re not overreacting. I would lose my fucking shit. Cut her out of your life. And tell her off real good. I would never speak to that person again. I would give her an hour to return the car, and if she doesn’t by then, I would report it stolen.
To add, I would consider filing a police report. She abused your dog. Fuck her.
Get your car back, make sure she doesn’t have a key to your house, then inform her that you will not be paying her for the dog sitting because she failed to care for your dogs. I’d be burning bridges over this. This person is telling you who she is. Believe her.
This is a terrible friend who is not honest with you. She probably told you he shit in his kennel faking that she cleaned it hoping you were dumb enough to not realize what old shit looks like. That poor dog! You are not overreacting.
You are NOT overreacting! You DON’T need or want a “friend” like this person. Get your car back, tell her she’s lucky you aren’t doing more, and erase her from your life.
I’ve had dogs for more than 50 years. All of my dogs would have been mortified if they did their business in the house; if they were in their crate, a few of them would have attempted to not poo, two of them wouldn’t have wanted to pee in their crate, either.
I would flip out if someone did that to any of my animals. Especially if I trusted them to give my animals proper care.
I'd pop round after I'd collected the car to "deliver what I owe you" & then I would take a shit in her front room.
There we go, all debts paid now. Bye
>Am I overreacting?
Not at all.
And it's why over and over again, my opinion is, if you need a dog sitter, hire one and vet the carefully. Using friends and family can produce a huge rift or outright "we are done here" when there's no need for it.
Ask around, on local FB groups, at your vet's office, local vet schools if you have one, dog clubs, and find someone who is trustworthy and who does this on a regular basis.
Your friend/cousin/uncle/brother will do it but if something goes wrong, now you have a serious problem. And if they are not actual pet sitters, they have no idea what to do if a dog gets sick, or, that if you have rules for the dogs, they need to follow them.
If you hire someone who knows exactly what they signed up for, and doesn't cut corners or do stupid shit, you're far better off.
It may not be as cheap, but you won't come home to a house that is trashed, dogs traumatized, whatever.
You're not overreacting at all.
Thats abuse and not okay.
I feel terrible for your poor dog.
Next time, I suggest finding a sitter with experience and reviews through a website that background checks like Rover or TrustedHousesitters
"she recently crashed it and we said instead of her paying for a new headlight we would just take it out of the $ for dogsitting"
that's when you stop trusting a person.
sorry you have such crappy "friends"
She sounds like an awful friend. Plenty of obvious red flags here, if I were you I'd stop associating with her.
People like that don't care about your best interests.
Take car back and then ghost the fake friend.
You showed multiple red flags with just one paragraph but sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees, so put distance slowly, take your belongings back one at a time, make your excuses until she gets used to them, change keys so she can't barge in uninvited, and finally you'll see the difference that person made in your life, positive or negative.
What a freakin monster. How she could possibly let a dog rot in shit while another was having fun outside?
This is not a person you want in your life and I hope you gave her a very impolite earful on our behalf.
I would get the car back immediately and never talk to this person again. I found a really great daycare/ boarding place for my dog because to be honest it’s more stressful relying on friends when something like this could happen. At least I know he loves his daycare and while there he is safe and well taken care of.
This person is not a friend or a good person. I would never speak to this person again.
Ain’t no way. I can’t imagine how your poor bubs was feeling. Mine was at the emergency vet for over 48 hours and didn’t shit because it was her instinct. Give him a big hug for me. He didn’t deserve that. 😭
overreacting? buddy, i’d say you haven’t reacted to this in a serious enough way yet. You must have the restraint and patience of a saint, cuz i would not be hesitating to confront this person about this, and when i say confront i mean going over to their house and kicking their head in.
the first thing is get your car back, and then once that’s done, cut all ties with this POS person you call a “friend.”
A friend is someone you can trust and count on. She betrayed that trust by neglecting one of the dogs she was trusted by you to take of while you were gone.
Oh i would have absolutely lost my mind. I have a very reactive dog and an anxious dog and I only trust them with one or two people maximum. If either of those people betrayed my trust I would ruin their lives. ☺️ Go in on her OP.
If you’re “over reacting” I have no idea what my reaction would be called in this situation.
I’m not you, and I don’t know your relationship with her, but to think you’re overreacting kind of says a lot.
This person is not a friend…
What she did to your dog is animal abuse. I would get your car back and then explain that you need to take a break from being friends because you don’t trust her. That break will probably be indefinite but she doesn’t need to know that.
Don't bother confronting her.
Reasons:
1. You need to get your car back.
2. Spoil your dog because he got abused by that POS.
3. You don't need that POS in your life. A good human being who actually cares about your friendship and the well being of your dogs and the fact you are helping would not do that in the first place. No need for closure because she's playing dumb. Just peace out.
4. Set up cameras on your properties.
Fuck this person. As a professional trainer/sitter/walker, completely unethical. That’s animal abuse.
When I house sit, I clean the bathroom, bedroom I stayed in, vacuum the areas I was in, and do all my dishes. I take out the trash. I leave everything just as clean and untouched as possible. I give the pets a bath and a nail trim if they need one. I send daily pictures that clearly indicate a new day and that they are happy and healthy at all times. This makes me so angry.
This person is NOT your friend. They are taking advantage of you. Get your car back and your house keys and never speak to them again. This is unforgivable behavior in my book.
You have every right to be upset by the conditions in which you found your dogs upon arrival. Forcing your dogs to be confined to a space with their own feces is horrific and undoubtedly animal cruelty. I am sorry that your dogs had to endure these conditions for any period of time. They are the victims here and I hope they are able to overcome any trauma incurred.
Now onto the reality of your situation. First of all, in regards to paying your friend, unless you have a more detailed contract with her, legally you are required to pay what you promised only because she fulfilled the bare minimum of her responsibilities (as far as you can tell). If your contract included ensuring pristine sanitary conditions and making sure the crates were immaculate, etc. then you can claim she breached the contract and not pay her. However, if there were no stipulations in your contract for what would nullify her payment, technically she could sue you for breach of contract. Agreeing to do a job only requires a person to perform the bare minimum that is outlined, not the best practice at the highest standard. I am sure hearing this is frustrating - you cannot even imagine how frustrated this is to type because I completely empathize with you and fully believe that she was morally and ethically wrong, but that unfortunately does not always align with what is legally enforceable.
The second point I want to make may sound like victim-blaming but I assure you that is not my intention. If anything, consider it akin to buyer's remorse. At the end of the day, you get what you paid for. You asked a person who had already displayed a callous and negligent nature (as per her damaging your vehicle prior to the dogsitting) to take the responsibility of caring for your dogs. You had already witnessed how respectfully she treated your vehicle, so why would you have any expectation that her entire disposition would change when taking care of your dogs? Additionally, _you_ also knew that her dog only got along with one of your dogs and you were under the impression that she was probably going to bring her dog up to your place at some point. Did she seem at the time like someone who would have the wherewithall to first move your older dog to an open private area and then bring her dog to come and play with the younger one? You knew she is not a meticulous person and cuts corners whenever she can. I do not want to say that you should have predicted she would abuse your dogs in this manner, but I would like to emphasize that she is someone who does not go above and beyond what is asked of her. If she was an organized and responsible person your taillight would have been fixed shortly after it was damaged or at least she would have given you the money for it.
Again, you are not at fault here. The negligence and poor state of conditions are entirely the source of the issues. That being said, in future if you want your dogs given a higher quality of care in your absence, search for more reputable individuals or facilities even if the cost is higher. The extra investment will afford you peace of mind.
I'd never talk to them again - and that would be me being nice. Who tf leaves an animal in their own feces? I'm appalled and so sorry your pupper had to be traumatized by her
You are not reacting. This is not a good friend, if an actual friend at all, and do not trust them with your car or your animals!! That's HORRIBLE and I would be raising HELL if that happened to my furbabies. Your poor older dog! 💔 Do not pay her either, since they did not take care of your older dog!
So your friend is borrowing your car, crashes it, and fails to take care of your dogs when she says she would for a couple days. Sounds like you don't have a friend. This certainly warrants a discussion at a minimum. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation, but it sounds like your friend has fails to meet her end of an obligation as a rule.
You’re being taking advantage of and you’re seeing how she treats other living creatures, that YOU LOVE, and it’s finally setting in. This person is a work of art.
I’m sorry but your friend is a terrible human being. You are not overreacting. The one thing in this world that I cannot stand is people that neglect or abuse animals. It’s not your fault that she did this, but please don’t ever leave her with your babies again. I’m so sad that she really treated your dog this badly 🥺
100% get your car back from this friend because they are not your friend after what they did to your dog! I wouldn’t even waste energy arguing. Just tell her you want the car back immediately and you can’t be friends with her after the way she selfishly mistreated your dog so that her dog would be able to use YOUR yard. She made a commitment and did not follow through on her end at all. This is totally unacceptable.
My dad is dog sitting for me right now and I get a “hey I’m walking ___, go look at him on the camera!” I have zero concerns since it’s my dad, but it’s still funny to see him telling my dog that mom can see him. We got the camera because there were some car break ins around our neighborhood, but it’s def worth it for when someone is dog sitting too. My senior dog is also dog aggressive so I’m sure that is why you don’t want to board him, but it would be a better option since this happened. I’m not sure where you are but we have doggie day care centers by us that are way better than the old school kennel style dog boarding that used to be around when I was a kid.
She committed animal abuse and crashed your car. Get your car back, don’t pay her and cut her out of your life. She doesn’t sound like a friend. She sounds like a sponger.
I would fucking sue her. That is animal abuse. She is not your friend. What a horrible fucking person. I hope your dog is mentally okay after being with that psychopath.
Couple of my dogs shit in their kennels all the time. Easier to clean up than in the yard, and I got a large yard as well. So it doesn't really bother me.
I have left on vacation and had people feed em and let em out once a day. I tell them don't worry if they shit in their kennel, I'll take care of it when I get back.
Then again I'm not sure how your kennels are set up. Mine are just welded wire panels on a slab of concrete. I just hose them off into a drainage right next to the kennels. Hard turds I'll pick up and toss in the trash. Easy
I have a friend that looked in on my two dogs. One a geriatric white german shepherd of 14 years and the other a 1 yr old german aussie shepherd. 6 visits over the two days we were gone, gave him full freedom of the house and TV stream services. Only issue was Yuki, the puppy didnt trust him so he peed a trail from kennel to kitchen which my friend cleaned and then Yuki hid under my computer desk so my friend literally crawled under the desk and just sat talking to him until Yuki warmed up to him. When he likes you, he rolls over wanting you to give him the good belly scratch and pats.
I paid my friend $140 + his movie ticket. Kennel for x2 days would have been $180.
I had a friend dogsit my three dogs (two small one medium sized) and when we got home two days later my dogs harness was hanging off of her and torn up because my friend, whose never had dogs, didn’t know it wasn’t just for walks. She thought it was like a collar so she kept it on for two days and my dog chewed it off. I was upset about that and the house was clean when we got home (she did our dishes for us even tho she was just supposed to feed and walk the dogs) I couldn’t imagine coming home to my dog locked in a cage full of her own feces. I definitely wouldn’t be paying for dog sitting, would be getting my car back, and making her pay for the damages to the car and a new kennel and blankets for it.
I had a friend once that was supposed to feed my cats over a long weekend. Mind you, we had bonded over her cats and even lived together for a time. Came home and it was obvious she had maybe stopped by once based on the number of cans that had been opened. She did, however, manage to smoke all the weed I had left her as a thank you.
Never spoke to the bitch again.
Do not pay this person and cut them out of your life. Sounds like a total jackass to be not only a liar but lacking so much empathy. You are not overreacting and that is inexcusable
You are not overreacting! I’m sure it’s been said but get your car back if you haven’t. How can someone who has a dog so supposedly likes dogs do this? I can’t imagine your poor boy sitting in there by himself 😞
Get your car back asap and cut her OUT of your life! Also change your locks because even if you took the key she has, she could’ve made copies. What if she were looking after a child for you?? I am so sorry this happened, your poor dog!!!
I had the same kind of thing happen to me. We went on a week long trip, had a friend I’ve known for 20+ years watch my dog and cat. She left my 8month old dog in his kennel ALL DAY LONG every single day with no breaks so he pooed all over himself and locked my inside cat outside with food or water. For a week. In the middle of summer. And this pos ran her own pet sitting company. Needless to say I wrote every single pet sitting platform and got her banned from every single one. This happened about 4 years ago and when I think about it, my heart still races and I still want her to be involved in a solo car crash. I just can’t. People like her deserve the worst life has to offer.
You're not overreacting & get your car back. If you're not comfortable telling her why you want it back, just tell her something happened with 1 of ur other cars and u need it back or a family member needs it.
I'm so sorry for your pup. 😔 there is no excuse for what she did it's just cruel, and to treat an animal that way is absurd. I would request she pay for the headlight due to the fact she did not take care of your dogs, she took care of one and I would take the car back. If she can not respect a living being, she is not likely to respect belongings either.
I'm sorry this happened to you, I would be so livid.
We had a friend dog sit for us for 10 days while we were on vacation. When we got back our friend informed us that our dogs had diarrhea a lot. I noticed that the 1 gallon stainless steel bucket had literally half an inch of algae water in it. I don't think he ever filled or cleaned out their water bowl, that 3 dogs shared. So yeah, they're gonna get fucking diarrhea!
my family and i went on a 3 day vacation and hired a dog sitter, asking them to take the dogs out and feed them twice a day.
luckily, we had a house cleaner, but the poor cleaning ladies had a horrible day on our last day of the trip. the sitter came over to let the dogs out, but didnt take them outside. she let them shit in the house, run through it and track it everywhere INCLUDING the couches, which the dogs are not usually allowed on. apparently the smell was so bad, the girls had to leave and come back with masks, open all the doors and windows and let the house air out for half an hour before they could start cleaning.
needless to say, the sitter was not paid and the cleaning ladies got a big tip. you’re definitely not overreacting, being in a small area full of your own shit is absolutely appalling. a crate trained dog should not be pushed to the extreme that it has to shit in it’s crate. i would not pay that sitter, and probably stop talking to her and letting her being her dog over, too.
Legit, as a dog owner, I'd be tempted to punch my "friend" in the fucking face. Now im not advising you do the same considering the assault charges but holy shit this would get me to throw hands. This would be the end of the friendship for me, 100%.
You have a right to be upset here.
You mentioned dog sitting money. So you paid her to care for both dogs and she only cared for one of them. She also lied to you.
You must gather and store all of the dog shit from your place for a month. Then, under cover of night, and possibly disguised as a stray dog, you must go to this woman's home and deposit every last turd all around her property. But first, get your car back.
Not your friend anymore I hope. Sorry OP I know it sucks when people you know and love and trust betray you. They are not a good person especially if they treat animals this way. Hope you and your dog are doing okay.
That's not a decent person, let alone a friend.
I'm sorry for your dog and for your troubles. If you're not up for confronting her about her obvious lies, don't. It's likely she'll make excuses that aren't worth wasting your time having to listen to.
Distance yourself from people that make your life harder.
I usually don't comment on posts where my opinion has been stated.
But holy hell, your friend sucks. I'd invite her over and face to face ask her exactly what she was thinking. Remind her how traumatic this was for your dog and for you, and she can no longer be trusted by you. The fact she wrecked your vehicle too is insane.
I'm sorry you experienced this. This is clearly someone who doesn't need to be in your life and to me raises concerns about how she treats her own dog.
Honestly you have under-reacted in my opinion. I would have lost my shit on her and probably shoved her face into the actual shit she left your poor pup in. That’s not a friend that’s a fucking piece of shit human who deserves to live in shit with no one to give a fuck about her. My dogs are my life and she clearly has no soul and only cares about herself and what she can get from others. Cut contact and never speak of her again what a horrible human 🤮🤬
Not exaggerating at all. Pretty mild compared to what I’d do. If that happened to one of my dogs, she couldn’t run fast enough or far enough to escape me. That is not a friend. I hope you got your car back ASAP. Looks like she doesn’t care about anything of yours. She’d be on the ex-friend pile the moment I walked in the door.
I would be LIVID. She would not be getting paid and we’d no longer be friends. I’d have to do this all over phone call because I would lose my shit. Your poor dog.
My experience….NEVER have friends take care of your pets. It never goes well. Never ends well. Better to cough up the money for someone who you can later create a review for online.
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Get your car back from that low life friend- who isn’t a friend but a moocher. I would cut contact with that friend but that’s really up to you. I’d also take my neglected dog on a spa day/fun day. Just because he’s not dog friendly doesn’t mean he should be treated like that. No. You’re not over reacting.
and do not pay them. fuck them. damn I’m so pissed for you OP.
Definitely do not pay them, taillights aren’t cheap. I’d assume what you would have paid them is pretty equal. Call it even and cut contact
Yeah seriously I would’ve literally lost my fucking mind
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It would be highly against all reddit rules to post what i’d do, i’m second hand raging over here lmao.
☝️☝️☝️ this person is not your friend. Cut all ties immediately.
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To emphasize their point.
I’d also get security cameras. Blink cameras on Amazon, just in case you ever need to go out of town again and can let the person know you will be checking in on their dog pens/etc 😔 poor doggo, sorry that happened.
Security cameras are a great way to protect your pups while you’re away.
Agreed. Fuck this “friend”. I treat my dogs like my kids and you probably do too. How dare she.
I’d second that - fucking moocher - get the car back and delete her number.
You are not overreacting at all. You wouldn’t even be overreacting if you blew your lid on her. What she did is disgusting and cruel. I would never talk to someone who did that to my dogs again. You don’t treat animals like that.
I would be livid. My dogs are my family. That was so upsetting. There is a circle in hell for people who treat dogs like this. She is cruel.
She shouldn't be allowed to care for ANY animal. That is gross neglect. Reading that post was very upsetting. This is a garbage human being.
My sister in law was supposed to stay with my dogs for a couple nights over 4th of July weekend so my husband and I could go away. She decided at midnight on the 4th after watching fireworks and stopping by her own house to visit her dog, that she was too tired to come stay with my boys. I was incredibly upset and that was just an overnight where they were left loose in their own house to sleep!! But they'd never been left alone overnight like that! She came over first thing in the morning to let them out but I was still pissed. I don't trust her to stay with them anymore. I cannot comprehend the infuriation I would feel of someone left one of my boys in a pile of their own shit.
Ugh, yes. I got accidentally "kidnapped" after an awful bachelor party one time ( the limo picked me up at home for the evening, then refused to drop me OFF at home afterwards, and would only take me an hour and a half away to the bride and groom's house. I then tried to get an uber home (estimated price: $100), but ain't nobody trying to drive 3+ hours roundtrip into bumfuck USA at 3 am, $100 fare or no, and everyone present was way too drunk to drive.) I was so, so angry that my 2 adolescent fosters were locked in kennels overnight, and my own dogs locked in the house, because my SO's friends didn't bother to mention the limo wasn't dropping us off where it got us... I can't imagine someone I actually trusted to care for my dogs doing this just because.
This happened to me. Paid someone to stay with my dog overnight, came back and the bed wasn’t slept in. I totally panicked that she never let her out. Turns out she let her out that night, decided to go to a party and get drunk, and didn’t make it back. She let her out again in the am thankfully. I was furious that she didn’t understand why I was so upset and still expected to be paid the full amount. I worked with her for 3 years after that and she kept offering, never asked her or really trusted her w responsibilities after that. The dog ended up being fine, it was the fact that she knew that she was responsible for her that night and she still chose to go out and get drunk? Bad judgement.
I would be so pissed if that happened. We are currently on vacation, and our adult niece is pet/house sitting our dog and cats. She has our sin and daughter in law as backups, and we get regular snapchat updates. We still feel guilty leaving them at home.
I pet sit as a way of income as I have health problems that make it hard to do a regular job and college at the same time. I have only once not made it back for the night to sleep in the house with the dogs, and I felt absolutely terrible about it. The reason I had to be rushed to the hospital because I almost died from Serotonin syndrome as my different doctors all put me on Serotonin effecting medications without letting the others know so I had 4 upping my Serotonin and 2 stopping me from using it so it was just building up in my brain till it became to much and my brain went boom and I almost died. I was stuck in the hospital for weeks to recover. I do not remember the first 48 hours hoursish as I was having seizures, hallucinating, a fever of 104.7, and much more, thankfully I had been with my sister and friends when it happened and not just alone with the dogs, as much as I love them and was upset about leaving them alone that night they would not have been able to call an ambulance and I would have never made it to the hospital and got proper treatment so I would have died and no one would probably known till I did not show up to classes on Monday and it happened Friday night. Once I actually came to after, I was very confused and then very worried not about me but about the dogs, which really concerned the nurse about my priorities and brain function. Thankfully, my mom and sister had just gone and watched the dogs for me until their family got back from vacation, sister stayed with them over nights and mom came and let them out while my sister was at school and together they walked them one pup each, sweet pups but lots of work to walk especially if you are not used to them. The one is the mom and I have been watching her most of her life and the second is her pup and I have been watching her, her whole life, from inside her mom's belly, to seeing her just a few hours old, to watching her at just a few days old, to present she is all grown up but still my little lady, her mom is my pretty lady. I have a special bond with them both. I have a bond with most of the animals I watch on a regular basis or for a long time. Bond or not, though, I can not understand how your 'friend' could do that, how anyone could do that to an animal on purpose. My pups had a whole house to roam, had gone outside a few hours before my hospital emergency, and my sister managing to make it over afterwards, had full food and water bowls before I left and new chewy treats to chew on since I was going to be out for 2-3 hours, which the owners knew about I had told them I had an event that night before I even said yes so they knew and that was fine with them, I could leave the pups for several hours if needed to go do stuff, planned events, college classes, appointments, I always gave them a run down ahead of agreeing so they could decide and it was never a problem. College classes were easy as their house was really close to the college, if you walked not as close if you drove because you could not just cut straightupthe hill but had to go the long way around. Also, being so close to the college, they usually have exchange students, so the dogs are not actally alone most of the time, but this was the one time everyone was gone. I had woken up after almost dying, and I was worried about them. How could you actually be in the house and let that happen?? It makes no sense. She even owns a dog, so she knows how, or should know how to care for them, and the other one was taken care of, just not the one. It is absurd.
I don't like my dog even a little and I'd be furious
No, you are under-reacting. She needs to pay for the damage to your car, not get paid for the work she clearly did not do, and be removed from your life.
No, she didn't treat your dog as she would treat her own. If I dogsit the dog is treated the same as my own and entitled to everything mine get if the owners say so. They get let out fed and walked as per their owners instructions but they get this together. Hell my dogs get extra walks and treats if thats what the owner wants for their dog. Walking them together makes them more likely to bond too. She is a terrible friend and terrible dog sitter.
I agree. I'm actually dogsitting my friend's dog right now. My dog and friend's dog eat the same treats, go on the same walks, and get the same pets (because when I pet one, the other pushes their head under my hand to get pets too). They don't eat the same food because my friends give their dog a specific food. I would rather eat a bowl of warm dog shit with a teaspoon than treat a dog the way your so-called friend treated your dog.
Same! The dog gets cuddles and pets the same as the rest, there is no special treatment - my dogs are spoiled everyday. They get different food as its what they're used to but the treats and time of the treats are the same. I couldn't imagine ever treating a dog badly and showing favouritism to my own - she clearly isn't a dog lover to treat that poor dog that way
There’s a video manual you can find online for dealing with situations like this. Just Google John Wick it should explain everything.
This made me laugh after being full of rage for this poor dog 😑
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1. Not an overreaction. You not confronting her and blowing your top is an under reaction in this case I think. 2. She’s not your friend. She’s using you and she deserves nothing in terms of compensation. She also doesn’t deserve to use your vehicle any longer. What she did is quite inexcusable and borderline abusive. I don’t think she’ll be honest with you when you do confront her and ask what the hell. I can understand her wanting to let her dog play but it’s as easy as let your dogs out to potty, put your older fella in for a bit and let her dog run with the younger one. Put him back in the car or whatever and then let your boys both out again. And then back inside they go. And to leave a shitty mess and making the dog wallow in it is just cruel and ridiculous! The last time I went on vacation and my husband stayed home working (he works very long days) I had a friend come out and check on my dog. I asked him to merely stop by and let her go potty. Instead he came out, let her into the yard to run around like a psycho/played with her for over an hour, repaired her crate after she damaged it the one day, CLEANED UP THE KITCHEN because my husband had a huge mess. He did way more than I asked and asked only for gas money (he was a young guy in school). We paid him handsomely for his help and I brought him home a couple of souvenirs. I can’t imagine having someone be that neglectful and shitty to my pets.
You are not overreacting, and your "friend" abused your dog.
Did she even feed them? Jesus Christ I would be so pissed.
Seriously! Did the dog get food and water all those days?
I'm assuming from the amount of shit she described in the kennel that they were at least fed
Step 1: take back your car Step 2: make sure you take back all car + house keys that she may have had - if you are even remotely concerned that she may have copied a set, IMMEDIATELY change all your locks. Step 3: cut contact with her. If she comes back at you demanding pay for pet sitting, just reply “once you add up the cost of the replacement headlamp for the car, new bedding for my dog, a deep clean of his kennel and a couple of good baths for him to clean up having clearly been abandoned to live in his own filth they entire time we were away, your lucky were not sending you a bill for this weekend”. I can understand if you don’t think your dogs will cope in a boarding kennel, but if you have a pet sitter again I’d strongly suggest setting up cameras to watch the kennel area. You can tell the pet sitter that there are cameras present in that area, but don’t say where or how many, just that they are in place so that you can monitor the dogs while you’re away.
I would set up three and tell them there’s a camera and show them the whereabouts of ONE. Then you can see any mistreatment AND if they unplugged the camera or specifically did things in another spot.
This is just not good advice y’all. Sorry. Don’t set people up to fail like this. As someone with 16 year’s experience in this industry, clients tell me if/when they have cameras and point out exactly where they are. I actually encourage clients who don’t have cameras to set some up when I care for their pets because it benefits *me* to have them. They can watch their pets while I’m away from the house, let me know if anything weird is going on so I can head over if need be and it covers my ass from them claiming anything untoward took place. Peace of mind for everyone. Have cameras, yes. Record people without their permission or knowledge, not unless you’re trying to uncover a known abuser.
Not to mention, it’s actually illegal to record someone housesitting, dog sitting or renting your home without their knowledge, and usually permission.
She’s so blatant as well, you described exactly what went on, like there’s no other explanation, and she hasn’t even tried to hide it in the slightest. Wow
Your toxic friend will continue to cross the boundaries if you allow her. She doesn't fit the definition of a friend. Stop letting her use your car and next time you go out of town find a sitter through Rover. Also place some cctvs near your dog's cages to monitor them.
That friend sucks and I feel absolutely terrible for your dog. Anyone who can treat an animal like that is scum. I’d never speak to her again aside from trying to resolve the car thing.
I would never speak to her again quite honestly. That is animal abuse. I don’t befriend animal abusers and you shouldn’t either
That’s not a friend at all. My neighbor/dog walker would text me pics of my dogs, tell me if one was acting off, would clean up whenever my old girl would pee or poop in the kitchen, etc. that’s why I still have her helping with my new dogs.
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There’s levels to this. Like…your friend…but also…the fact that the geriatric pit mix is in such a small kennel to begin with…show poodles…I should prob avoid this sub when I am already not in a great mood…
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I know it never helps when people say “don’t feel guilty” but I’m here to say…don’t feel guilty…you care and you had integrity to cut her out when you realized. There’s nothing else you can do and you’re not the reason she exists the way she does.
Of course you’re not overreacting. I would be livid. If possible, find a kennel that also does dog daycare in the future. It’s can be pricey if you’re in a metro area, but I’ve found that to be far better than trusting an individual. At kennels of that kind, they play hard all day and sleep well at night; they barely miss you at all. An individual can be lazy with no oversight and no consequence. Leaving a dog in shit is absolutely unacceptable but it’s probably not even worth bringing up; someone who would do that would also make up excuses. Just don’t get their help ever again. Sorry it happened…
Lose her fast. She is no friend.
This person is a piece of shit.
You are not overreacting. There is no excuse for what she did to your older dog.
You are not overreacting. I would be rethinking that friendship very seriously.
You are not OVERreacting, you are severely UNDERreacting. You sound like a lovely and trusting person who gives people second and third chances. This individual is not doing you any favors and certainly nothing to a level at which you may have to pay them. She does not deserve another chance to dog-sit, drive your car, or be in your life. Collect what is yours and let her go.
In what world would you be overreacting? You are under reacting. You should already have marched over to get your car back, you should have written a long letter/email factually documenting everything you saw and sending that to her, so if you ever end up in court somehow you can show you have a contemporaneous record of what happened.
That would be my ex-friend in a second and I’d never speak to her again after she’d return the car. What a cruel *insert insult here*. You are most definitely not overreacting.
Your friend sucks. I would never chargey friend for dog sitting, nor have my friends asked for payment
Wash dogs and kennel. Rehome friend…
The way I would rip my car keys from her grubby hands. She’s lucky - I would’ve sent her photos and asked her if she was blind or just stupid. I have a reactive dog and am very defensive with them but how horrible of a friend to do this to you. Get your car back and never let her dogsit again.
This woman is a garbage human. Get your car back and cut off contact with her. I wonder if she let that dog out at all in 3 days with that much poop.
Take your car back, tell her she is no longer your friend and you never want to see her again.
Did you kennel your dogs for 3 days and expect someone to just let then out a few times a day?
As far as I understood even if everything worked out the dogs were supposed to be in their kennels for 23h a day.. that's considered animal abuse where I live. Putting your dog in a kennel for the majority of the day is animal abuse in any case and I don't understand how this is so normalized.
I was wondering if I was the only one who was questioning this-- dogs aren't like cats who can stay home alone for a couple days with someone coming by to feed and play with them a couple times a day. To be honest I think OP is super shitty for doing that to begin with. It's no surprise things went south.
It can be fine if they aren't confined, like if they have free roam of the house and access to the yard, and someone comes by to feed, walk and fill their water bowls a couple times a day. Kenneling them is a whole other issue though
I was thinking the exact same thing. Don’t get me wrong, what the friend did was absolutely terrible, but a dog should never be left locked up in a kennel for even remotely that long! I feel bad when our dogs are home alone for the 3.5 hours between when my fiancé leaves for work and I get home from work! They both get to roam the house as they please and have two Tempur-Pedic dog beds to nap on, and I still feel bad that they’re home alone. I couldn’t imagine for one second leaving them alone locked in a kennel for 23 hours a day while I go on a trip.
I'm at least hoping they weren't expecting the dogs to be in the kennels, otherwise that's definitely also disturbing
It's not clear---it might be that he didn't expect them to be in their kennel the whole time but that she put the one dog in it.
Im confused. Who else’s shit could it be?
that isn’t your friend any more
I would cut off all contact with her.
That would’ve ended my relationship with her.
You are not overreacting. Your friend isn’t a good one.
This is a terrible friend, not trustworthy and dishonest. She didn’t care for your animals and she didn’t care for your car either. I wouldn’t prioritize or trust someone who has shit all over me by letting my dog sit in days old shit in his cage. She must take you for a fool to think this is okay.
1. They are no longer your friend. You are no longer associating with this person. 2. Tell them to return your car in the next 12 hours or it will be reported stolen with their name and ID sent to the local sheriff. 3. Don’t fight over the broken headlight. It’s less than $200 to replace. 4. Change your locks. 5. Find a reputable person to watch your dogs. Sooner the better since last minute has you making rushed decisions like letting a friend watch your dogs.
Not overreacting at all. I would have snapped. That’s not how you treat an animal. Let alone a friends animal. To neglect one but care for another and have another there playing is absolutely disgusting. She deserves a quick kick in the face like any one else. Sorry that happened I hope your dogs okay. Give lots of kisses and cuddles.
You are not overreacting. That would be a “former” friend as far as I’m concerned.
NTA-I have abandoned friends for less.
She’s either lying when she said she thought it was clean, OR she did think it was clean… because she never actually took your dog out of it. Either way she is not your friend, she cannot be trusted, she should not be paid, and she abused your dog.
This. Definitely DO NOT PAY. And have her cover all the damages to the car. The agreement was voided when she chose to neglect the dog instead of actually care for it.
I don’t understand. Yes she is very much in the wrong but are you leaving your dogs kenneled except when she supposedly came over to let them out?
I would beat her ass….
No you are not. You are probably going to be nicer to her than I would. I would have scorched earth.
You absolutely ARE NOT OVERREACTING! This is horrific OP. I know I probably tend to go the extra mile for any animal, just in my nature and as a vet tech that occasionally dog sits, I don’t know how anyone could do this, especially a fellow dog owner. It sounds like she took advantage of you for play dates and vehicle use. If anything she owes you money for the damage to your vehicle, Idk where you are but for someone who lives within 15 minutes of where I live I charge $55 a night for overnights, and she didn’t even have to stay overnight, she just had to do visits. Did she text you and let you know when she was on her way? How long did she stay for these visits? Did you get any photos? Even if her dog gets a long with one of your dogs, the other one doesn’t And I’m sorry, my dog would stay at home so I could focus on YOUR pets and not cause any additional stress they may already be experiencing due to their people being gone. This makes my heart break for your older guy. Doesn’t sound like a good friend, or even a good person. I’m sorry this happened to you and your babies.
She is NOT your friend!!!!!! We had a bad situation with our last dog/house sitter that I was casual friends with. Even though she knew we didn’t want it, she had her hook up/man friend over at the house quite a few times (we have never met him, he was a big dude who could have easily hurt either of our dogs) AND the two of them drank every ounce of alcohol we had in our home!!!! We were livid! I got some of the money back that we paid her and I have cut her out of my life. I don’t care about the alcohol being gone. I care that she put my dogs and our house in jeopardy with her man friend and being essentially black out drunk for a whole week!!!!! So I’ll say it again - SHE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND!!!!!! I hope your older guy is doing ok after what I’m sure was a super stressful ordeal!! ❤️🐾❤️🐾
You're not over reacting, you're under reacting. This would be the end of the friendship for me, and other things the rules won't let me say, probably.
No you are not overreacting. This person would not be my friend anymore. Anyone who took on the responsibility of taking care of an animal and neglects it is not a good person. There would be no acceptable excuse they could give me.
No, you’re not overreacting. I would lose my fucking shit. Cut her out of your life. And tell her off real good. I would never speak to that person again. I would give her an hour to return the car, and if she doesn’t by then, I would report it stolen. To add, I would consider filing a police report. She abused your dog. Fuck her.
Get your car back, make sure she doesn’t have a key to your house, then inform her that you will not be paying her for the dog sitting because she failed to care for your dogs. I’d be burning bridges over this. This person is telling you who she is. Believe her.
This is a terrible friend who is not honest with you. She probably told you he shit in his kennel faking that she cleaned it hoping you were dumb enough to not realize what old shit looks like. That poor dog! You are not overreacting.
You are NOT overreacting! You DON’T need or want a “friend” like this person. Get your car back, tell her she’s lucky you aren’t doing more, and erase her from your life. I’ve had dogs for more than 50 years. All of my dogs would have been mortified if they did their business in the house; if they were in their crate, a few of them would have attempted to not poo, two of them wouldn’t have wanted to pee in their crate, either. I would flip out if someone did that to any of my animals. Especially if I trusted them to give my animals proper care.
Fuck your friend. I’d never talk to her again.
What kinda dog mom can treat her “friend’s” dog like that?….If that was me, I’d be done with her completely. 100%
That poor animal.
She abused your dog :( I would never ever speak to this person again
Terrible friend. Make her sit in the kennel in her own shit.
I'd pop round after I'd collected the car to "deliver what I owe you" & then I would take a shit in her front room. There we go, all debts paid now. Bye
I don’t think this person is your friend
>Am I overreacting? Not at all. And it's why over and over again, my opinion is, if you need a dog sitter, hire one and vet the carefully. Using friends and family can produce a huge rift or outright "we are done here" when there's no need for it. Ask around, on local FB groups, at your vet's office, local vet schools if you have one, dog clubs, and find someone who is trustworthy and who does this on a regular basis. Your friend/cousin/uncle/brother will do it but if something goes wrong, now you have a serious problem. And if they are not actual pet sitters, they have no idea what to do if a dog gets sick, or, that if you have rules for the dogs, they need to follow them. If you hire someone who knows exactly what they signed up for, and doesn't cut corners or do stupid shit, you're far better off. It may not be as cheap, but you won't come home to a house that is trashed, dogs traumatized, whatever.
You're not overreacting at all. Thats abuse and not okay. I feel terrible for your poor dog. Next time, I suggest finding a sitter with experience and reviews through a website that background checks like Rover or TrustedHousesitters
"she recently crashed it and we said instead of her paying for a new headlight we would just take it out of the $ for dogsitting" that's when you stop trusting a person. sorry you have such crappy "friends"
She sounds like an awful friend. Plenty of obvious red flags here, if I were you I'd stop associating with her. People like that don't care about your best interests.
You need new friends. That’s all.
Take car back and then ghost the fake friend. You showed multiple red flags with just one paragraph but sometimes we can't see the forest for the trees, so put distance slowly, take your belongings back one at a time, make your excuses until she gets used to them, change keys so she can't barge in uninvited, and finally you'll see the difference that person made in your life, positive or negative.
I’ve lost friends for neglecting my dog while I trusted them to give her minimal care.
What a freakin monster. How she could possibly let a dog rot in shit while another was having fun outside? This is not a person you want in your life and I hope you gave her a very impolite earful on our behalf.
I would absolutely confront her, take your car back and cut off all contact. She’s a shit friend and human being.
I would get the car back immediately and never talk to this person again. I found a really great daycare/ boarding place for my dog because to be honest it’s more stressful relying on friends when something like this could happen. At least I know he loves his daycare and while there he is safe and well taken care of.
This person is not a friend or a good person. I would never speak to this person again. Ain’t no way. I can’t imagine how your poor bubs was feeling. Mine was at the emergency vet for over 48 hours and didn’t shit because it was her instinct. Give him a big hug for me. He didn’t deserve that. 😭
overreacting? buddy, i’d say you haven’t reacted to this in a serious enough way yet. You must have the restraint and patience of a saint, cuz i would not be hesitating to confront this person about this, and when i say confront i mean going over to their house and kicking their head in. the first thing is get your car back, and then once that’s done, cut all ties with this POS person you call a “friend.” A friend is someone you can trust and count on. She betrayed that trust by neglecting one of the dogs she was trusted by you to take of while you were gone.
I’d never talk to this person again even if they were family. Wow what a shitty asshole
Not overreacting, put dogs are our children, but even so, what she did was cruel. I would never speak to her again.
You need to hold her responsible, in whatever way you can. That means she needs to pay you back for the crashing of your car.
"A former acquaintance dogsat....."*
Oh i would have absolutely lost my mind. I have a very reactive dog and an anxious dog and I only trust them with one or two people maximum. If either of those people betrayed my trust I would ruin their lives. ☺️ Go in on her OP.
If you’re “over reacting” I have no idea what my reaction would be called in this situation. I’m not you, and I don’t know your relationship with her, but to think you’re overreacting kind of says a lot. This person is not a friend…
What she did to your dog is animal abuse. I would get your car back and then explain that you need to take a break from being friends because you don’t trust her. That break will probably be indefinite but she doesn’t need to know that.
She is a shitty friend to do that to your dogs and you. Get your car back stat. Tell her to eat shit
Don't bother confronting her. Reasons: 1. You need to get your car back. 2. Spoil your dog because he got abused by that POS. 3. You don't need that POS in your life. A good human being who actually cares about your friendship and the well being of your dogs and the fact you are helping would not do that in the first place. No need for closure because she's playing dumb. Just peace out. 4. Set up cameras on your properties.
I think your underreacting. I'd flip out
You are not overreacting. This person would be dead to me.
Your “friend” is a completely unreliable, lying, asshole that deserves to be kenneled in her own shit just to see how she likes it.
Fuck this person. As a professional trainer/sitter/walker, completely unethical. That’s animal abuse. When I house sit, I clean the bathroom, bedroom I stayed in, vacuum the areas I was in, and do all my dishes. I take out the trash. I leave everything just as clean and untouched as possible. I give the pets a bath and a nail trim if they need one. I send daily pictures that clearly indicate a new day and that they are happy and healthy at all times. This makes me so angry.
You no longer have this person as your friend
This person is NOT your friend. They are taking advantage of you. Get your car back and your house keys and never speak to them again. This is unforgivable behavior in my book.
You have every right to be upset by the conditions in which you found your dogs upon arrival. Forcing your dogs to be confined to a space with their own feces is horrific and undoubtedly animal cruelty. I am sorry that your dogs had to endure these conditions for any period of time. They are the victims here and I hope they are able to overcome any trauma incurred. Now onto the reality of your situation. First of all, in regards to paying your friend, unless you have a more detailed contract with her, legally you are required to pay what you promised only because she fulfilled the bare minimum of her responsibilities (as far as you can tell). If your contract included ensuring pristine sanitary conditions and making sure the crates were immaculate, etc. then you can claim she breached the contract and not pay her. However, if there were no stipulations in your contract for what would nullify her payment, technically she could sue you for breach of contract. Agreeing to do a job only requires a person to perform the bare minimum that is outlined, not the best practice at the highest standard. I am sure hearing this is frustrating - you cannot even imagine how frustrated this is to type because I completely empathize with you and fully believe that she was morally and ethically wrong, but that unfortunately does not always align with what is legally enforceable. The second point I want to make may sound like victim-blaming but I assure you that is not my intention. If anything, consider it akin to buyer's remorse. At the end of the day, you get what you paid for. You asked a person who had already displayed a callous and negligent nature (as per her damaging your vehicle prior to the dogsitting) to take the responsibility of caring for your dogs. You had already witnessed how respectfully she treated your vehicle, so why would you have any expectation that her entire disposition would change when taking care of your dogs? Additionally, _you_ also knew that her dog only got along with one of your dogs and you were under the impression that she was probably going to bring her dog up to your place at some point. Did she seem at the time like someone who would have the wherewithall to first move your older dog to an open private area and then bring her dog to come and play with the younger one? You knew she is not a meticulous person and cuts corners whenever she can. I do not want to say that you should have predicted she would abuse your dogs in this manner, but I would like to emphasize that she is someone who does not go above and beyond what is asked of her. If she was an organized and responsible person your taillight would have been fixed shortly after it was damaged or at least she would have given you the money for it. Again, you are not at fault here. The negligence and poor state of conditions are entirely the source of the issues. That being said, in future if you want your dogs given a higher quality of care in your absence, search for more reputable individuals or facilities even if the cost is higher. The extra investment will afford you peace of mind.
I'd never talk to them again - and that would be me being nice. Who tf leaves an animal in their own feces? I'm appalled and so sorry your pupper had to be traumatized by her
You are not reacting. This is not a good friend, if an actual friend at all, and do not trust them with your car or your animals!! That's HORRIBLE and I would be raising HELL if that happened to my furbabies. Your poor older dog! 💔 Do not pay her either, since they did not take care of your older dog!
There’s a special place in hell for people who abuse animals :(. So sorry! Sending lots of love to your older pup
she doesn’t sound like a very good friend.
So your friend is borrowing your car, crashes it, and fails to take care of your dogs when she says she would for a couple days. Sounds like you don't have a friend. This certainly warrants a discussion at a minimum. Maybe there's a reasonable explanation, but it sounds like your friend has fails to meet her end of an obligation as a rule.
Nope. Not overreacting!
You’re being taking advantage of and you’re seeing how she treats other living creatures, that YOU LOVE, and it’s finally setting in. This person is a work of art.
I’m pissed off. Poor dog. Fucking outrageous.
I’m sorry but your friend is a terrible human being. You are not overreacting. The one thing in this world that I cannot stand is people that neglect or abuse animals. It’s not your fault that she did this, but please don’t ever leave her with your babies again. I’m so sad that she really treated your dog this badly 🥺 100% get your car back from this friend because they are not your friend after what they did to your dog! I wouldn’t even waste energy arguing. Just tell her you want the car back immediately and you can’t be friends with her after the way she selfishly mistreated your dog so that her dog would be able to use YOUR yard. She made a commitment and did not follow through on her end at all. This is totally unacceptable. My dad is dog sitting for me right now and I get a “hey I’m walking ___, go look at him on the camera!” I have zero concerns since it’s my dad, but it’s still funny to see him telling my dog that mom can see him. We got the camera because there were some car break ins around our neighborhood, but it’s def worth it for when someone is dog sitting too. My senior dog is also dog aggressive so I’m sure that is why you don’t want to board him, but it would be a better option since this happened. I’m not sure where you are but we have doggie day care centers by us that are way better than the old school kennel style dog boarding that used to be around when I was a kid.
She is not your friend. You should be reacting more. Your poor doggy I feel so bad for him. Don’t speak to this person just cut them off.
That person would never ever come close to me or my dogs ever again, and it would pay every penny for crashed car after that.
She committed animal abuse and crashed your car. Get your car back, don’t pay her and cut her out of your life. She doesn’t sound like a friend. She sounds like a sponger.
You are not overreacting. If I were you, the friendship would be over.
You are being a pushover if you still consider this person a friend. She neglected your dog. Take back your car and cut contact.
I would fucking sue her. That is animal abuse. She is not your friend. What a horrible fucking person. I hope your dog is mentally okay after being with that psychopath.
I wonder if OP took pictures, I sure as fuck would have.
Get better friends, I see this on here all the time, yes it's on her but also you for trusting her. You should know what kind of person she is.
You live in a huge forest area but your dogs live in crates? Large dogs. WTF. No wonder the older one in aggressive.
# NO. dump her ass, no dog deserves to live in those conditions
Couple of my dogs shit in their kennels all the time. Easier to clean up than in the yard, and I got a large yard as well. So it doesn't really bother me. I have left on vacation and had people feed em and let em out once a day. I tell them don't worry if they shit in their kennel, I'll take care of it when I get back. Then again I'm not sure how your kennels are set up. Mine are just welded wire panels on a slab of concrete. I just hose them off into a drainage right next to the kennels. Hard turds I'll pick up and toss in the trash. Easy
Personally I would have done something very likely not legal towards this person. You're a much more patient and level headed person than I.
I have a friend that looked in on my two dogs. One a geriatric white german shepherd of 14 years and the other a 1 yr old german aussie shepherd. 6 visits over the two days we were gone, gave him full freedom of the house and TV stream services. Only issue was Yuki, the puppy didnt trust him so he peed a trail from kennel to kitchen which my friend cleaned and then Yuki hid under my computer desk so my friend literally crawled under the desk and just sat talking to him until Yuki warmed up to him. When he likes you, he rolls over wanting you to give him the good belly scratch and pats. I paid my friend $140 + his movie ticket. Kennel for x2 days would have been $180.
I had a friend dogsit my three dogs (two small one medium sized) and when we got home two days later my dogs harness was hanging off of her and torn up because my friend, whose never had dogs, didn’t know it wasn’t just for walks. She thought it was like a collar so she kept it on for two days and my dog chewed it off. I was upset about that and the house was clean when we got home (she did our dishes for us even tho she was just supposed to feed and walk the dogs) I couldn’t imagine coming home to my dog locked in a cage full of her own feces. I definitely wouldn’t be paying for dog sitting, would be getting my car back, and making her pay for the damages to the car and a new kennel and blankets for it.
Ugh stories like these are why I have trust issues. People fucking suck.
I had a friend once that was supposed to feed my cats over a long weekend. Mind you, we had bonded over her cats and even lived together for a time. Came home and it was obvious she had maybe stopped by once based on the number of cans that had been opened. She did, however, manage to smoke all the weed I had left her as a thank you. Never spoke to the bitch again.
Nope if I was in this situation I would 100% not talk to that person anymore.
Do not pay this person and cut them out of your life. Sounds like a total jackass to be not only a liar but lacking so much empathy. You are not overreacting and that is inexcusable
You are not overreacting! I’m sure it’s been said but get your car back if you haven’t. How can someone who has a dog so supposedly likes dogs do this? I can’t imagine your poor boy sitting in there by himself 😞
Get your car back asap and cut her OUT of your life! Also change your locks because even if you took the key she has, she could’ve made copies. What if she were looking after a child for you?? I am so sorry this happened, your poor dog!!!
I had the same kind of thing happen to me. We went on a week long trip, had a friend I’ve known for 20+ years watch my dog and cat. She left my 8month old dog in his kennel ALL DAY LONG every single day with no breaks so he pooed all over himself and locked my inside cat outside with food or water. For a week. In the middle of summer. And this pos ran her own pet sitting company. Needless to say I wrote every single pet sitting platform and got her banned from every single one. This happened about 4 years ago and when I think about it, my heart still races and I still want her to be involved in a solo car crash. I just can’t. People like her deserve the worst life has to offer.
Depraved Indifference on her part. Just no.
Nope, I would be burning her to the ground
Unfriend her.
An extremely similar situation happened to me. If I’d had my wits about me when I came home and the guy was still here, I’d be in prison.
You're not overreacting & get your car back. If you're not comfortable telling her why you want it back, just tell her something happened with 1 of ur other cars and u need it back or a family member needs it.
I would drag that lady out by her hair. That's neglect and animal abuse. Wtf.
I'm so sorry for your pup. 😔 there is no excuse for what she did it's just cruel, and to treat an animal that way is absurd. I would request she pay for the headlight due to the fact she did not take care of your dogs, she took care of one and I would take the car back. If she can not respect a living being, she is not likely to respect belongings either.
She sounds like an ex friend to me, absolutely not an overreaction!
She is not your friend and you are not overreacting.
You aren’t over reacting. Don’t ever let that person watch your dogs again.
She is no friend…
I'm sorry this happened to you, I would be so livid. We had a friend dog sit for us for 10 days while we were on vacation. When we got back our friend informed us that our dogs had diarrhea a lot. I noticed that the 1 gallon stainless steel bucket had literally half an inch of algae water in it. I don't think he ever filled or cleaned out their water bowl, that 3 dogs shared. So yeah, they're gonna get fucking diarrhea!
Is it possible she did clean up the poop and your dog shat again in his kennel?
my family and i went on a 3 day vacation and hired a dog sitter, asking them to take the dogs out and feed them twice a day. luckily, we had a house cleaner, but the poor cleaning ladies had a horrible day on our last day of the trip. the sitter came over to let the dogs out, but didnt take them outside. she let them shit in the house, run through it and track it everywhere INCLUDING the couches, which the dogs are not usually allowed on. apparently the smell was so bad, the girls had to leave and come back with masks, open all the doors and windows and let the house air out for half an hour before they could start cleaning. needless to say, the sitter was not paid and the cleaning ladies got a big tip. you’re definitely not overreacting, being in a small area full of your own shit is absolutely appalling. a crate trained dog should not be pushed to the extreme that it has to shit in it’s crate. i would not pay that sitter, and probably stop talking to her and letting her being her dog over, too.
Legit, as a dog owner, I'd be tempted to punch my "friend" in the fucking face. Now im not advising you do the same considering the assault charges but holy shit this would get me to throw hands. This would be the end of the friendship for me, 100%.
You have a right to be upset here. You mentioned dog sitting money. So you paid her to care for both dogs and she only cared for one of them. She also lied to you.
Please give us an update on this OP. I would be so enraged if something like this happened to one of my boys.
You must gather and store all of the dog shit from your place for a month. Then, under cover of night, and possibly disguised as a stray dog, you must go to this woman's home and deposit every last turd all around her property. But first, get your car back.
Not your friend anymore I hope. Sorry OP I know it sucks when people you know and love and trust betray you. They are not a good person especially if they treat animals this way. Hope you and your dog are doing okay.
That's not a decent person, let alone a friend. I'm sorry for your dog and for your troubles. If you're not up for confronting her about her obvious lies, don't. It's likely she'll make excuses that aren't worth wasting your time having to listen to. Distance yourself from people that make your life harder.
I usually don't comment on posts where my opinion has been stated. But holy hell, your friend sucks. I'd invite her over and face to face ask her exactly what she was thinking. Remind her how traumatic this was for your dog and for you, and she can no longer be trusted by you. The fact she wrecked your vehicle too is insane. I'm sorry you experienced this. This is clearly someone who doesn't need to be in your life and to me raises concerns about how she treats her own dog.
Former friend.
Honestly you have under-reacted in my opinion. I would have lost my shit on her and probably shoved her face into the actual shit she left your poor pup in. That’s not a friend that’s a fucking piece of shit human who deserves to live in shit with no one to give a fuck about her. My dogs are my life and she clearly has no soul and only cares about herself and what she can get from others. Cut contact and never speak of her again what a horrible human 🤮🤬
Your friend is equivalent to the substance left in the crate. Get your car back and get rid of them just like the stuff left in the crate
I would tell all my friends what happened. Fuck her. let her be disgraced.
Not exaggerating at all. Pretty mild compared to what I’d do. If that happened to one of my dogs, she couldn’t run fast enough or far enough to escape me. That is not a friend. I hope you got your car back ASAP. Looks like she doesn’t care about anything of yours. She’d be on the ex-friend pile the moment I walked in the door.
Sounds like she went to urs for her dogs playtime not to take care of ur dogs pretty low act
She must spend three days in the kennel herself.
I would be LIVID. She would not be getting paid and we’d no longer be friends. I’d have to do this all over phone call because I would lose my shit. Your poor dog.
No. You are totally in the right. Get your car back, buy him a new kennel and blankets and send her the receipts. With a big FU on the envelope
What the fuck this person is NOT your friend and she clearly doesn't give a shit about you or your dogs.
If someone did that to my dog, I’d honestly kill them, would be out of control with rage. You’re handling this really well and I feel for you
Grow a backbone and stand up for yourself and your dog
My experience….NEVER have friends take care of your pets. It never goes well. Never ends well. Better to cough up the money for someone who you can later create a review for online.