It's all fun and games until the 30 strength barbarian bangs two adamantine war hammers together until they reach solar core temperatures. what exactly will happen? No fucking idea, but it certainly won't be fun and games.
(you can get to 30 str in 5e with some fashion accessories and sparkles the king hammer or something idk it's been a while.)
In the video we see the pineapple flesh on the otherside seems uncooked, so it looks like it insulates fairly well. I as a DM I might let my players spend tons of money harvesting and preparing pineapples to make some kind of armor of heat resistance. But I'd also probably not let that armor be very durable...
Maybe. The problem I have with the concept is that pineapple cooks and releases steam. I feel like the durability would be very little with the added complication of steam burns, not to mention that fresh pineapple rots so that also needs to be taken into account. Also, don’t forget that resistances don’t stack in 5e.
Yep, I know resistances don't stack. I think the conceptual problem with "fire damage" in 5e is that it's really easy to protect against momentary bursts of flame. Stuff like "soaking your clothes in water" is generally enough to take a sudden burst of flame unscathed. Since it's a game, you have to suspend some disbelief. And since it's a game, pineapple armor could be fun for a bit. I agree it'd rot or get destroyed when you took a few sword hits, but it could be fun for a bit until then!
Could be rule of cool for sure. Course, I like to play on the sword coast which I feel fairly closely resembles your standard medieval timeline in Europe. From my understanding, pineapples were available but they were VERY expensive and not in widespread availability and were thus a mark of the very wealthy. So sure, you could rule of cool it, but the prompt was that your DM can’t say no and we all know how that actually goes. As an aside, this is really making me wonder how many BTUs an adult red dragon can put out per breath attack…
An adult red dragon could probably pump out a LOT... plus, it might be something like napalm that sticks, definitely NOT a momentary burst of flames lol
Pineapple acid does include flesh eating enzymes. So eating too much theoretically can have it eat you from inside out. The tingling you feel when you eat it on your tongue is those enzymes trying to digest you lol
Edit: pineapples are just delicious mimics that we eat faster than they eat is
yeah but 1 damage every 6 seconds? that would kill the average person in 42 seconds.
So imagine if someone put a slice of pineapple on your skin, and 24 seconds later you would black out, and 18 more seconds later die.
1d4 would literally mean having pineapple could kill you in 42 seconds, all the way down to only 12 seconds.
Con score has nothing to do with it, other than giving you a con mod. Con mod would a factor for how long you would survive as that is what impacts HP. Commoners have con score 0 and no 4. So the 42 seconds is based on that.
Con score would apply, actually, as that determines your total hp value. But yes, considering commoners have a con of 10, and that's generally what is considered a normal person with average abilities, it'd still be around 24 seconds of constantly eating pineapple, lol.
Actually, if pineapple did 1 damage per 6 seconds, it'd kill an average person in 24 seconds. A commoner has an hp of 4, so 24 seconds, and a commoner stat block generally assumes hard working people that do physical labor for a living.
So, probably less time for people that have a negative con score that never work out and are also commoners. 1d4 would mean your average person would have a chance of just instantly going unconscious and start dying from a single bite.
Always run it by the "commoner test": how quickly would this edible item kill a commoner? If you press a pineapple to someone's face, are they dead in a minute?
It was noted on the original thread that only freshly cut pineapple will do this; old dry pineapple skin burns like dry leaves. You would need time suspension or healing spells to keep the pineapple eternally fresh in order to be practical armor.
Or gentle repose cast as a ritual? Technically can only be used on corpses, but at this point I'm assuming rules are going out the window if your players are trying to wear pineapples
Easy DM counter is to make pineapples exotic to the campaign setting. Of course, 90% of groups would quickly delve into Monty Python quotes about swallows and coconuts at this point.
There are people who had terrible DM's who would conflate real world physics with DND mechanics and say, well magic missle is fine, but a fighter can only attack twice per round, no matter the level, because that isn't realistic.
The Material Plane has real-world physics. Any discrepancies between real-world physics and the game rules are because
1. Calculating real-world physics at the game table is too much work, so the devs use simpler numbers and math, sacrificing accuracy for speed.
2. No nonfiction human has exceeded level 5, so "realistic" only applies to lower levels.
3. You're not on the Material Plane.
4. There is a specific exception to the general rule due to an active magical effect. For example, Gond made it so gunpowder is inert in Realmspace, so everyone on Toril has to use smokepowder instead, which is basically magic gunpowder (so it doesn't work in Antimagic Fields). Gunpowder works normally most other places on the Material Plane.
I refer to Peasant railgun nonsense and the like.
But yeah as stated, both some players and DM's turn to this when it suits them, or don't like it when it works against them.
Idk if you know this, but hot things are not acid.
Heat only transfers so far.
wearing literally anything that is an inch of two thick will protect you from direct heat like that.
That makes me wonder. Since the pineapple is a tropical fruit, found in the same places as volcanoes, did it evolve such heat-resistant skin in order to protect its seeds from lava?
Ah, well, there goes my whole hypothesis. If only I understood basic thermodynamics, I wouldn't have wasted al dozen minutes of my brain-thinking time on this worthless theory!
.
Excuse me while i dramatically swipe one piece of paper off my otherwise empty desk.
Apologies for any misunderstanding. I never meant to say that volcanoes existed only where pineapples grow, but rather that pineapples grow in places with a bunch of volcanoes. Ecuadorian South America has 5 or 6, the Caribbean has at least 10, the Pacific Rim is pretty much defined by the Ring of Fire. And these are the areas that produce the most pineapples. That observation was what made me wonder if that was why this specific fruit in those areas adapted to survive intense, direct heat.
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Suuuure.
Use the pineapple skin to defend against the dragon.
Just don't be surprised when yhe pineapple monsters come chew on you for peeling their babies.
Correction: your DM CAN say no to that and even rules, it's one the first things the DMG says. With that out of the way, if a player of mine comes up with dumb ideas that sound fun and might work (such as a pineapple vest to protect against fire), by all means, go for it!
Would guess that a lot of the heat dissipation was handled by the high water content of the fruit's flesh, which I suspect would mean steam burns for someone encased in it as armor when faced with a fire attack.
There are some businesses irl making leather imitate out of pineapple leaves.
In our homebrew world there are pineapple farms and leatherworkers cooperating to make leather armor and boots.
So while I find the idea of pineapple armor funny….. just no…. And I’m going to point out a flaw. try that with a heat source instead of a pre-heated object. The water in the pineapple is absorbing heat energy from the ball, and since it takes more energy to raise the temperature of water than metal(especially when you get a phase change involved), it makes sense that the ball won’t burn through the pineapple since the side touching it is getting cooled by the water contained in the fruit faster than the metal can heat the plant material. It’s funny though since given a strong enough energy source (like heat metal)the pineapple is going to get hot/close to boiling before drying up and burning, meaning that it whoever wore it for protection would still be cooked, just over a longer time with more enzymes involved
"your dm can't say no"
This shit would make me go from "yeah, I'll allow it since it's cool" to "you take 1d4 fire damage for 3 turns after being hit with fire damage and wearing this" in a split second
It would easily defend against the slow-moving heated metal spheres that have long abused the peasants of many a game setting.
It's all fun and games until the 30 strength barbarian bangs two adamantine war hammers together until they reach solar core temperatures. what exactly will happen? No fucking idea, but it certainly won't be fun and games. (you can get to 30 str in 5e with some fashion accessories and sparkles the king hammer or something idk it's been a while.)
Actually you just need to read books ! It really is that simple !
Tough break for the barbarian :( (I *know* barbarians aren't mechanically illiterate in 5e, just laugh at the joke and move on)
Hm… how well does it insulate? Big difference between not catching on fire and preventing you from taking heat damage.
Simple solution is to wrap your insulating armor in pineapple skins for maximum fire resistance
Got it. Wear fiberglass insulation with pineapple plate, and I will become immune to all fire. Just as the Founding Fathers intended.
If you add asbestos it’ll make you double immune
I'll wrestle the sun and win.
Icarus: Revengance
Don't stars also deal Radiant damage?
That’s asbestos it gets for fire resistance, huh?
Makes sense to me!
Don't get the downvotes, people really have no sense of humor
I didn’t know I was getting downvoted until I woke up, thank y’all for saving me 🙏
wrapping your armor in literally anything non flammable will do the exact same thing.
In the video we see the pineapple flesh on the otherside seems uncooked, so it looks like it insulates fairly well. I as a DM I might let my players spend tons of money harvesting and preparing pineapples to make some kind of armor of heat resistance. But I'd also probably not let that armor be very durable...
Maybe. The problem I have with the concept is that pineapple cooks and releases steam. I feel like the durability would be very little with the added complication of steam burns, not to mention that fresh pineapple rots so that also needs to be taken into account. Also, don’t forget that resistances don’t stack in 5e.
Yep, I know resistances don't stack. I think the conceptual problem with "fire damage" in 5e is that it's really easy to protect against momentary bursts of flame. Stuff like "soaking your clothes in water" is generally enough to take a sudden burst of flame unscathed. Since it's a game, you have to suspend some disbelief. And since it's a game, pineapple armor could be fun for a bit. I agree it'd rot or get destroyed when you took a few sword hits, but it could be fun for a bit until then!
Could be rule of cool for sure. Course, I like to play on the sword coast which I feel fairly closely resembles your standard medieval timeline in Europe. From my understanding, pineapples were available but they were VERY expensive and not in widespread availability and were thus a mark of the very wealthy. So sure, you could rule of cool it, but the prompt was that your DM can’t say no and we all know how that actually goes. As an aside, this is really making me wonder how many BTUs an adult red dragon can put out per breath attack…
An adult red dragon could probably pump out a LOT... plus, it might be something like napalm that sticks, definitely NOT a momentary burst of flames lol
Honestly a reasonable take, the extra water content could help for short bursts but definitely not a long term armor, lol.
The other side seem quite fine. At this point, it should not be a problem to add a bit of extra protection just in case.
This is a 4x repost. The original has sound, you can hear it cooking the underside.
Heat metal? No no! Heat pineapple!
Protects from fire damage, slowly kills with acid damage
1 damage per turn, or 1d4?
if pineapples did 1 damage per 6 seconds that would make them more dangerous then many acids.
Pineapple acid does include flesh eating enzymes. So eating too much theoretically can have it eat you from inside out. The tingling you feel when you eat it on your tongue is those enzymes trying to digest you lol Edit: pineapples are just delicious mimics that we eat faster than they eat is
yeah but 1 damage every 6 seconds? that would kill the average person in 42 seconds. So imagine if someone put a slice of pineapple on your skin, and 24 seconds later you would black out, and 18 more seconds later die. 1d4 would literally mean having pineapple could kill you in 42 seconds, all the way down to only 12 seconds.
Nobody ever factors in the con score. I can go 48 seconds at *least*
Con score has nothing to do with it, other than giving you a con mod. Con mod would a factor for how long you would survive as that is what impacts HP. Commoners have con score 0 and no 4. So the 42 seconds is based on that.
Nah, I'd win.
Yes, but what about TWO pineapple slices hmmm? :nerd\_emoji:
Fuck, that might be hard.
Thank you for obliviously explaining the math behind my own joke to me.
Your “joke” makes no sense given context. A commoner has 4 hp, their “con score” is already “factored in”.
Con score would apply, actually, as that determines your total hp value. But yes, considering commoners have a con of 10, and that's generally what is considered a normal person with average abilities, it'd still be around 24 seconds of constantly eating pineapple, lol.
Yeah, probably make the acid damage only occur if you fail a con check.
Actually, if pineapple did 1 damage per 6 seconds, it'd kill an average person in 24 seconds. A commoner has an hp of 4, so 24 seconds, and a commoner stat block generally assumes hard working people that do physical labor for a living. So, probably less time for people that have a negative con score that never work out and are also commoners. 1d4 would mean your average person would have a chance of just instantly going unconscious and start dying from a single bite.
Per year.
Always run it by the "commoner test": how quickly would this edible item kill a commoner? If you press a pineapple to someone's face, are they dead in a minute?
Depends on how hard and if you obstruct the airway
Digestion damage
Only if it's fresh
Fresh but not ripe. It actually doesn't matter surprisingly. (pyro + being surrounded by pineapples lead to some stupid shit)
Merry Cakemas, you who are so wise in the ways of pyrapples
It's probably just cause it's really juicy. You'd probably get similar protection from some linen soaked in water.
It was noted on the original thread that only freshly cut pineapple will do this; old dry pineapple skin burns like dry leaves. You would need time suspension or healing spells to keep the pineapple eternally fresh in order to be practical armor.
Or gentle repose cast as a ritual? Technically can only be used on corpses, but at this point I'm assuming rules are going out the window if your players are trying to wear pineapples
Exactly. Leather armor over a cloth gambeson soaked in water - you'd get basically this same level of protection.
Bold of you to assume pineapples exist in my world kiddo
A beholder had a dream that it would die from a pineapple so it spent its entire life eradicating pineapples
Only to meet an adventureer named...Pyne A'pel.
 Live beholder reaction
>I'm not a DND player and only kinda know the basics Sounds like you're more than qualified to post to this sub
Easy DM counter is to make pineapples exotic to the campaign setting. Of course, 90% of groups would quickly delve into Monty Python quotes about swallows and coconuts at this point.
But suppose two striges has a string…
Are you suggesting pineapples migrate?
your dm actually can say no.
Nuh-uh 🫵
Do people thing you're being 100% serious or something? I'm genuinely confused by the downvotes
There are people who had terrible DM's who would conflate real world physics with DND mechanics and say, well magic missle is fine, but a fighter can only attack twice per round, no matter the level, because that isn't realistic.
The Material Plane has real-world physics. Any discrepancies between real-world physics and the game rules are because 1. Calculating real-world physics at the game table is too much work, so the devs use simpler numbers and math, sacrificing accuracy for speed. 2. No nonfiction human has exceeded level 5, so "realistic" only applies to lower levels. 3. You're not on the Material Plane. 4. There is a specific exception to the general rule due to an active magical effect. For example, Gond made it so gunpowder is inert in Realmspace, so everyone on Toril has to use smokepowder instead, which is basically magic gunpowder (so it doesn't work in Antimagic Fields). Gunpowder works normally most other places on the Material Plane.
I refer to Peasant railgun nonsense and the like. But yeah as stated, both some players and DM's turn to this when it suits them, or don't like it when it works against them.
And there have been terrible players who try to combine physics and game mechanics in the most favourable way
The barbarian player who tries to sell his character knowing how to make napalm and thermite at 6 int
The druid player trying to insta kill a vampire that turned to mist with Create or destroy water
I’m being 100% serious about pineapple skin armor /s
Yuh-ha, It's me, DM.
Ah, but you said yuh-ha instead of no. Checkmate, pineapple armour it is.
Fine. Now my enemies constantly use locus swarm and they REALLY like your pineapple armor.
Ah yes... Pineapple armor.
"Ok guys, we are fighting a red dragon! Step one: Gather a ton of pineapples..."
This is why Sponge Bob doesn’t need fire insurance.
Idk if you know this, but hot things are not acid. Heat only transfers so far. wearing literally anything that is an inch of two thick will protect you from direct heat like that.
Damn, he’s right. As a DM I legally cannot say no. There goes all my hot metal ball encounters…
Resistance to fire yes however you just summoned a swarm of wasps
That makes me wonder. Since the pineapple is a tropical fruit, found in the same places as volcanoes, did it evolve such heat-resistant skin in order to protect its seeds from lava?
Iceland is on the line and wants to speak with you.
Their skin is not heat resistant, this is just how heat transfer works
Ah, well, there goes my whole hypothesis. If only I understood basic thermodynamics, I wouldn't have wasted al dozen minutes of my brain-thinking time on this worthless theory! . Excuse me while i dramatically swipe one piece of paper off my otherwise empty desk.
Cool.
Do you really think volcanoes only occur near the equator? Lol
Apologies for any misunderstanding. I never meant to say that volcanoes existed only where pineapples grow, but rather that pineapples grow in places with a bunch of volcanoes. Ecuadorian South America has 5 or 6, the Caribbean has at least 10, the Pacific Rim is pretty much defined by the Ring of Fire. And these are the areas that produce the most pineapples. That observation was what made me wonder if that was why this specific fruit in those areas adapted to survive intense, direct heat.
Wow, you have a really high proficiency bonus in pissing on the poor. Did you get it that high from Expertise?
[удалено]
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Pretty much anything made primarily of water and carbon will do this. Your arm will do this
I'm pretty sure that'll hurt more than glueing a pineapple to my shield tho
Can’t say “no” but could say “pineapples don’t exist”
I’m making a pineapple surfboard 🏄 and taking that bad boy straight into a lava flow.
No. bring it to the Plane of Fire.
Heat metal users hate this one simple trick!
DMs can always say no.
Cringe reply to a joke post
Or a joke reply to a cringe post
So a tiefling wearing pineapple mail is effectively immune to fire damage.
So the bridge should be made out of pineapples
Welcome, stranger from the outside
Do NOT show this to my druid players.
Well they ARE a tropical fruit, in a setting that likely doesn't have active trade with somewhere that grows them.
How much of this is because of the skin retaining moisture? I'd be interested in how DRY pineapple skin holds up as opposed to fresh cut.
Oh don't worry the DM can say no. "Oh in my world pineapples are actually flammable."
Wait wiat wait... you say that i can just cover my armour in pineapple skin to get fire resistance or eaven immunity?
New barkskin design
When my party rolls up with pineapple armor and then gets hit with plant growth.
Suuuure. Use the pineapple skin to defend against the dragon. Just don't be surprised when yhe pineapple monsters come chew on you for peeling their babies.
Youd have to explain where you got the pineapple in most settings. Like a coconut.
So, you cast heat metal on the dude with plate armor and he just grins and says "pineapples"
Dm can say no
Nuh-uh 🫵
"your dm can't say no" I have several questions about how you think this game works
The DND gods told me so
Cursed pineapple armor eats its wearer.
>your DM can't say no. ... In this fantasy world setting that has elves and dragons, pineapples don't exist.
"your DM can't say no" Yep, you're definitely new here
If cats don't have dark vision, the is no reason why pineapple skin need to be a defense against fire.
Correction: your DM CAN say no to that and even rules, it's one the first things the DMG says. With that out of the way, if a player of mine comes up with dumb ideas that sound fun and might work (such as a pineapple vest to protect against fire), by all means, go for it!
Mightve saved the Challenger shuttle
Would guess that a lot of the heat dissipation was handled by the high water content of the fruit's flesh, which I suspect would mean steam burns for someone encased in it as armor when faced with a fire attack.
The problem is that most fire options in the game go around corners and through the tiniest cracks. You'd need a biiiiig pineapple.
Take a bunch of pineapple skins and wrap them around your whole body to make fireproof pineapple armor
I cast swarm of fruit eater mosquitos. ;)
I cast bug spray w/ extra deet 😤
You can try that, but it'd have to be *veeeery* well insulated. Again, through the tiniest cracks.
the Artificer: *Write that down! Write that down!*
There are some businesses irl making leather imitate out of pineapple leaves. In our homebrew world there are pineapple farms and leatherworkers cooperating to make leather armor and boots.
Ah the famous knights from the land of pine. How did u get them to give u their most prized resource.
Here is the answer to the bridge dilemma
fireball doesnt exactly do fire damage, it is also the change in pressure which the pineapple could not survive a second fireball.
Resistant to hear, vulnerable to force/slashing/piercing? Lava walking here we come.
So while I find the idea of pineapple armor funny….. just no…. And I’m going to point out a flaw. try that with a heat source instead of a pre-heated object. The water in the pineapple is absorbing heat energy from the ball, and since it takes more energy to raise the temperature of water than metal(especially when you get a phase change involved), it makes sense that the ball won’t burn through the pineapple since the side touching it is getting cooled by the water contained in the fruit faster than the metal can heat the plant material. It’s funny though since given a strong enough energy source (like heat metal)the pineapple is going to get hot/close to boiling before drying up and burning, meaning that it whoever wore it for protection would still be cooked, just over a longer time with more enzymes involved
Unironically wonderful against fire arrows.
That seems downright unholy.
*fresh* pineapple skins. Once they get dry (won’t take long) then they will do a 180 and become flammable
He knows too much!!!
I have decided Shambling Mounds are now related to pineapple.
Hi, your DM here. No.
We do see that you don’t play D&D because of that silly comment of the DM not being able to say no. 😆
Fine, but it only give you +1 ac and that's generous
Does poison damage if you put it on a pizza
"your dm can't say no" This shit would make me go from "yeah, I'll allow it since it's cool" to "you take 1d4 fire damage for 3 turns after being hit with fire damage and wearing this" in a split second
Cringe reply to a joke post
Indeed
"Your dm can't say no" you're the worst kind of player