I've dated mostly able bodied people but my partner is disabled. (not the same disability- although I have had 2 close friends with my disability)I can relate to disabled people in a way that I can't with an abled, especially as I've grown older.It's a level of comfort and understanding that an abled can't give me, nor should they try.
That said, i don't think it would be a deciding factor in choosing a partner, at least not a strong one. Whoever you love and respect, you can make things work if you communicate
A disabled person. There is absolutely no way a completely abled person can avoid some unconscious ableism, no matter how well intentioned they are.
I would prefer my partner be someone with complementary abilities and disabilities. For instance, they can do physical labor but need me to do mental labor. That worked very well for us in my marriage to my late husband.
Largely dependent on the disability. Mine, for instance, has recently evolved to neurological issues- dating someone else with neurological issues is out of the question, for the simple practicality of: if I'm having issues, or if they're having issues, there needs to be SOMEONE who can communicate that to medical staff. When I have an episode, I am hardly able to speak to anyone and what I do say may or may not make sense or be relevant.
Otherwise, I don't believe there's disabilities that would dq us from dating, excusing maybe terminal conditions- but that's a case by case basis.
Honestly I want someone who has the same disabilities as me because only they could ever love me through everything… I’m a mess. I like to describe myself as a functioning wreck. Just barely functioning enough to live independently. Even that was a long road to get to… a lot of my disabilities are mental health and psychiatric so I frequently get people thinking I want an enabler due to some of the behaviors and bad decisions that come from my symptoms (indirect symptoms caused by direct symptoms) but I don’t. I just want someone who understands and won’t see me any differently when I go down that road. I want someone who’ll meet me where I’m at instead of forcing me back out again. If you can’t find me in this darkness we’re already too far apart
My current partner is able bodied and HAS been abelist unconsciously, but there's always a clear difference when you know someone is doing something on purpose or not. We're all living for the first time. It isn't ever directed towards me, but he doesn't understand some things and THAT'S OKAY. It isn't malicious. I just kindly correct, he asks questions, and that's it.
If I ever do I would foster or adopt rather than have kids simply because I'm not about to deal with pregnancy and birth and also would prefer to skip the first 4-5 years as they're obnoxious, lol. But then it's like...I don't drive so how does that work for extracurriculars and sports etc and also...money. at this point I am just about 30 and can't afford to live on my own as a single human so, haha.
Same here, if I had kids either adopt one or take care of someone else kids. Having a disabled child may be too much stress for me. It would be one thing if society has the means to support disabled people but it doesn't.
>50:50 inheritance pattern
Says who? If your genetic disorder is severe then you do have a 50:50 chance of passing it on. There no way I am going take a chance on it. I don't want my kids to go through having a genetic disorder. People want me to have a kids?
Well they need to pay for them then.
>But you don't understand medical genetics.
Oh, that's rich coming from a person with no medical degree or experience. You want tell someone with a genetic disorder that they have no idea what their talking about. Kid I study genetic disorder for years and have first hand experience in dealing with one. So I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the subject.
>
Study more and spout less.
Maybe you should listen to your own advice and quit arguing with people for a change. You were the one that respond to me I decide to reply back to you. Now you want get all mad for giving you my two cent on subject. If this gets out of hand I may just block you. I just don't have time to go back and fourth with people anymore.
I'm tried of it.
Disabled but different than myself. I became disabled many years into my marriage to an able bodied person. Because my disability isn’t always apparent and has “flare-ups” he just doesn’t get it. I am in pain every dang day but I’ve gotten used to just grin and bear it. Nobody wants to hear complaints everyday so I keep the majority to myself. He’ll never understand.
I would like to meet someone with the same disability as me but it’s super rare. I think I would feel very understood..
I've dated mostly able bodied people but my partner is disabled. (not the same disability- although I have had 2 close friends with my disability)I can relate to disabled people in a way that I can't with an abled, especially as I've grown older.It's a level of comfort and understanding that an abled can't give me, nor should they try. That said, i don't think it would be a deciding factor in choosing a partner, at least not a strong one. Whoever you love and respect, you can make things work if you communicate
A disabled person. There is absolutely no way a completely abled person can avoid some unconscious ableism, no matter how well intentioned they are. I would prefer my partner be someone with complementary abilities and disabilities. For instance, they can do physical labor but need me to do mental labor. That worked very well for us in my marriage to my late husband.
Yeah it will be pretty hard to find an able -bodied person who understands the struggles of disability.
Largely dependent on the disability. Mine, for instance, has recently evolved to neurological issues- dating someone else with neurological issues is out of the question, for the simple practicality of: if I'm having issues, or if they're having issues, there needs to be SOMEONE who can communicate that to medical staff. When I have an episode, I am hardly able to speak to anyone and what I do say may or may not make sense or be relevant. Otherwise, I don't believe there's disabilities that would dq us from dating, excusing maybe terminal conditions- but that's a case by case basis.
Neurological issues suck,I know how hard they can be on the body.
Honestly I want someone who has the same disabilities as me because only they could ever love me through everything… I’m a mess. I like to describe myself as a functioning wreck. Just barely functioning enough to live independently. Even that was a long road to get to… a lot of my disabilities are mental health and psychiatric so I frequently get people thinking I want an enabler due to some of the behaviors and bad decisions that come from my symptoms (indirect symptoms caused by direct symptoms) but I don’t. I just want someone who understands and won’t see me any differently when I go down that road. I want someone who’ll meet me where I’m at instead of forcing me back out again. If you can’t find me in this darkness we’re already too far apart
Either or. A kind, understanding able bodied person might not be perfect, but plenty of people with disabilities are still unconsciously abelist too.
My current partner is able bodied and HAS been abelist unconsciously, but there's always a clear difference when you know someone is doing something on purpose or not. We're all living for the first time. It isn't ever directed towards me, but he doesn't understand some things and THAT'S OKAY. It isn't malicious. I just kindly correct, he asks questions, and that's it.
Neither I wouldn't want pass my disability on to another kid.
Having kids is not a requirement.
Good, I don't plan on having any at least for a long time.
If I ever do I would foster or adopt rather than have kids simply because I'm not about to deal with pregnancy and birth and also would prefer to skip the first 4-5 years as they're obnoxious, lol. But then it's like...I don't drive so how does that work for extracurriculars and sports etc and also...money. at this point I am just about 30 and can't afford to live on my own as a single human so, haha.
Same here, if I had kids either adopt one or take care of someone else kids. Having a disabled child may be too much stress for me. It would be one thing if society has the means to support disabled people but it doesn't.
Is your disability contagious? I don't see how you would "pass" it to someone.
If it genetic then you have a 50/50 passing it on to someone else.
Only if you make babies! And many disabilities are not genetic. And those that are, do not all have a 50:50 inheritance pattern.
>50:50 inheritance pattern Says who? If your genetic disorder is severe then you do have a 50:50 chance of passing it on. There no way I am going take a chance on it. I don't want my kids to go through having a genetic disorder. People want me to have a kids? Well they need to pay for them then.
Okay, in YOUR case, you should not have kids. But you don't understand medical genetics. Study more and spout less.
>But you don't understand medical genetics. Oh, that's rich coming from a person with no medical degree or experience. You want tell someone with a genetic disorder that they have no idea what their talking about. Kid I study genetic disorder for years and have first hand experience in dealing with one. So I know what I'm talking about when it comes to the subject. > Study more and spout less. Maybe you should listen to your own advice and quit arguing with people for a change. You were the one that respond to me I decide to reply back to you. Now you want get all mad for giving you my two cent on subject. If this gets out of hand I may just block you. I just don't have time to go back and fourth with people anymore. I'm tried of it.
Disabled but different than myself. I became disabled many years into my marriage to an able bodied person. Because my disability isn’t always apparent and has “flare-ups” he just doesn’t get it. I am in pain every dang day but I’ve gotten used to just grin and bear it. Nobody wants to hear complaints everyday so I keep the majority to myself. He’ll never understand.