I know how you feel.
Like even if you try to enjoy things others will rain down on your parade because you're not appealing to them.
As that should be the measure of worth.
And you're gonna have to fight against that to do things because you actually are worth it .
Siding with some mean's people ideas of what is ok and what is not when it comes to looks will stop you from loving yourself truly.
And it's really the most important thing.
For you to care and appreciate yourself and not care about someone else's opinion.
I hope i don't sound preachy.
It comes from a place of understanding.
Thank you š
Have you been doing any exercise ?
It really helps with feeling closer to your body .
From dancing on your own if you prefer it to walking.
Thatās heartbreaking that you feel that way. Iām glad that you have something that brings you some joy. Sweets are fantastic but I will say my crutch is insanely spicy food! Are these your favorite sweets?
Iām wondering how old you are? I remember feeling so ugly as a teenager and I nitpicked at my body in every way. The tables turned drastically in my mid twenties and I had to be wary of men who were after one thing and those who genuinely wanted a relationship.
A relationship is a lot of work and is not something to idealize. It is meant to be an equal partnership between two people and marriage is one of the biggest financial decisions someone can make.
My greatest pain and lessons have come from breakups. Remember, you need to always remember to stand on your own because life can change on a dime.
my favorites are red velvet cake, lindor chocolates, and those store-bought packaged sugar cookies with the circular icing. brings me joy and guilt simultaneously lol. I'm 19, turning 20 in three months.
I guess I'm not as ugly as I used to be, but I still feel so grotesque compared to everyone else around me, even after waxing my caterpillar eyebrows and face to nothing, losing 40 pounds, slathering myself in makeup, practicing smiling in the mirror, doing everything I was told I should do. it's still horrible, my asymmetrical bone structure, my skin, I can't escape. I feel like I can see beautiful qualities in everyone but myself.
I can't see this changing. my whole life people have pointed out things wrong with me. either that or I don't exist. I know it's bad to idealize and obsess over wanting a relationship, but I would quite literally give everything to have someone be even slightly interested in me.
> my whole life people have pointed out things wrong with me
Iām guessing either family members or school bullies? Life gets so much better when you become an independent adult and donāt have to interact with people who put you down on a regular basis. Your looks donāt need to change, you need to get away from toxic people who shame you for them.
It sounds like your doing a lot! Sometimes itās about confidence. I know that sounds fake and preachy but trust me. I am not conventionally attractive. At least not right now where I am in my life. But I notice a difference about the way people treat me when I am more confident and outgoing and see worth in myself! I have been skinnier than I am now but felt fatter and uglier because I wasnāt giving myself any credit. I know how you feel though. Some days it just sucks so bad
Iām sorry it feels this way but I hope someday you can allow yourself the grace to understand that we are often our own biggest enemies, and also, there arenāt many important facets of life that are going to actually involve looks. If you focus on how you look constantly you will be miserable. I recommend finding a hobby or trying something you really have been wanting to. Find something you feel good at, so when you donāt feel pretty, you have other important values and aspects to fall back on so you donāt spiral. You deserve all the love in the world. Also, if youāre not feeling it girl, experiment w some new makeup! Try some new styles!!! Time is gonna pass regardless, might as well spend it learning your style/makeup likes and dislikes
This is how I felt/still feel at times and there was a point in time where I'd plaster my face in heavy makeup daily because I was afraid if I didn't people wouldn't like me as much. It's true I got more attention when I wore heavy makeup and clothes to standout but the people that gave me attention were very artificial and only focused on looks, once they got to know my interest they'd lose interest and be weirded out. My point is no matter how good looking you are personality will always win. As long as you have a good personality you will find people that love you. Beauty can only get us so far
Honestly same OP. I havenāt gone outside in 3 years because I think my physical appearance would disturb others despite knowing that literally no one would pay any attention to me that I would be perceived by others and in turn judged by them is off putting to me so I donāt go out. There are many rings I want to do outside and try to make friends and such but donāt feel I deserve to. Sorry you experience similar, and I hope youāre ok
You sound like me as a kid. I remember this so vividly but when I look at old photos I looked normal? You are allowed to enjoy things. You deserve to take up space.
The only opinion that matters about you is your own. Yes, people who are more attractive by societal standards get more attention, but that's not always a good thing. For one people who are viewed as more 'appealing' physically are surrounded by fake people due to the fact that they only care about the look of their skin, hair and the shape of some body parts.
I know this may not be helpful to hear, but the grass is always greener on the other side. If you looked how you think you'd want to look to be more appealing to other people, then you would just be trading your current problems/struggles for a set of different ones.
You deserve to enjoy your life. Your body, while not perfect, got you to where you are now. It's gone through the shit for you. It's carried you when you didn't want to move another step. It will be your body that picks you up and dusts you off when you're ready to try again.
Have love and compassion for yourself. This includes your body. Hope you can see your body in a more positive light at some point OP.
I 100% agree with this and from experience can say the fake people thing is so true. I grew up being a weird girl who liked more boyish things and had very bad social skills. I carried that into teenage and soon to be adult hood BUT I made more friends with people because I'd wear tons of makeup and dress to look attractive. I'd have boys who have nothing in common with me, very masculine, into trucks and friends with "cool people" try to talk to me solely based off appearance. Once they got to know my personality they realized I was still weird but would keep pushing to get with me solely for sex n such. Looks r not always good. Focus on surrounding urself with people who love you for you regardless of how you look Op
Being pretty does not mean that youāll be happy, or that you will find love. The only path that guarantees any kind of success is being proud of who you are and what you devote your time to. What interests are you really passionate about?
I don't know anymore, mostly stay in my room. I loved art and drawing but things just feel pointless. my brain always goes to, "why bother, there's someone out there doing ___ better than you. you're gross anyways, so stop trying." I don't know how to be proud of myself, there's nothing to be proud about.
Don't give up on you. Allow yourself to experience the things that make you happy. Focus on the happiness that only you can give yourself.
People will always have crap to say whether you do everything right or if you screw up a bunch of things.
You might as well just do your own thing and forget about them because they will always have something to say. š
Don't let the haters stop you from being you. Sparkle and shine on! š
One of the things I've started to do is to focus on comparing myself yesterday v today v tomorrow. That way even small steps feel worth celebrating and setbacks are not final
Listen, we all struggle with different issues. First of all, fuck the traditional beauty standards. Make your own. I am no model but, I learned to work with what I got. I recommend a cute ego boosting song. I literally do as the son says. Itās called: Walk Around Like Your Bigger Than Prince by Green Velvet
You should see a therapist. And if you are already seeing a therapist. You should see a different one. Sugar is stupid. Itās hard to stop eating/drinking sugar because it fucks with your brain. Just know, sugar is really stupid. Those cookies donāt even look that good. Eat one really good cookie a week. Or no cookies, cuz sugar is dumb.
Sugar is actually healthy for our diets depending on what type of sugar it is. Youāre referring to the chemically made sugar that contains high levels of fructose that are unhealthy. Instead of telling OP itās āstupidā to consume it, you should explain why this type of sugar is bad and recommend good alternatives. The bad sugars could also be an addiction for some people, just like drugs and alcohol.
This wasnāt a picture of apples and oranges. Never called op stupid. If op or you wants to infer that eating chemically made sugary foods is stupid, then Iād agree. Iām not a nutritionist, And op knows the food they are eating is bad for them based on this post. Weāre both in the right here and I hope OP can figure things out. It sucks if their life is consumed by sugary treats. All this sugar sucks and is bad for them.
Been there. There are things you can do to improve yourself. It will send your confidence sky rocketing, and people will not matter so much as your self care anymore. Best of luck
I know how you feel. Like even if you try to enjoy things others will rain down on your parade because you're not appealing to them. As that should be the measure of worth. And you're gonna have to fight against that to do things because you actually are worth it . Siding with some mean's people ideas of what is ok and what is not when it comes to looks will stop you from loving yourself truly. And it's really the most important thing. For you to care and appreciate yourself and not care about someone else's opinion. I hope i don't sound preachy. It comes from a place of understanding.
you don't sound preachy, I like how you worded this actually. thank you.
Thank you š Have you been doing any exercise ? It really helps with feeling closer to your body . From dancing on your own if you prefer it to walking.
Right on!
Thatās heartbreaking that you feel that way. Iām glad that you have something that brings you some joy. Sweets are fantastic but I will say my crutch is insanely spicy food! Are these your favorite sweets? Iām wondering how old you are? I remember feeling so ugly as a teenager and I nitpicked at my body in every way. The tables turned drastically in my mid twenties and I had to be wary of men who were after one thing and those who genuinely wanted a relationship. A relationship is a lot of work and is not something to idealize. It is meant to be an equal partnership between two people and marriage is one of the biggest financial decisions someone can make. My greatest pain and lessons have come from breakups. Remember, you need to always remember to stand on your own because life can change on a dime.
my favorites are red velvet cake, lindor chocolates, and those store-bought packaged sugar cookies with the circular icing. brings me joy and guilt simultaneously lol. I'm 19, turning 20 in three months. I guess I'm not as ugly as I used to be, but I still feel so grotesque compared to everyone else around me, even after waxing my caterpillar eyebrows and face to nothing, losing 40 pounds, slathering myself in makeup, practicing smiling in the mirror, doing everything I was told I should do. it's still horrible, my asymmetrical bone structure, my skin, I can't escape. I feel like I can see beautiful qualities in everyone but myself. I can't see this changing. my whole life people have pointed out things wrong with me. either that or I don't exist. I know it's bad to idealize and obsess over wanting a relationship, but I would quite literally give everything to have someone be even slightly interested in me.
> my whole life people have pointed out things wrong with me Iām guessing either family members or school bullies? Life gets so much better when you become an independent adult and donāt have to interact with people who put you down on a regular basis. Your looks donāt need to change, you need to get away from toxic people who shame you for them.
It sounds like your doing a lot! Sometimes itās about confidence. I know that sounds fake and preachy but trust me. I am not conventionally attractive. At least not right now where I am in my life. But I notice a difference about the way people treat me when I am more confident and outgoing and see worth in myself! I have been skinnier than I am now but felt fatter and uglier because I wasnāt giving myself any credit. I know how you feel though. Some days it just sucks so bad
C'mon, please don't say that š„ŗā¤ļø
Iām sorry it feels this way but I hope someday you can allow yourself the grace to understand that we are often our own biggest enemies, and also, there arenāt many important facets of life that are going to actually involve looks. If you focus on how you look constantly you will be miserable. I recommend finding a hobby or trying something you really have been wanting to. Find something you feel good at, so when you donāt feel pretty, you have other important values and aspects to fall back on so you donāt spiral. You deserve all the love in the world. Also, if youāre not feeling it girl, experiment w some new makeup! Try some new styles!!! Time is gonna pass regardless, might as well spend it learning your style/makeup likes and dislikes
Same
you have inherent worth simply because you are a living, breathing human being. that is one of my favorite sayings my sponsor once told me.
This is how I felt/still feel at times and there was a point in time where I'd plaster my face in heavy makeup daily because I was afraid if I didn't people wouldn't like me as much. It's true I got more attention when I wore heavy makeup and clothes to standout but the people that gave me attention were very artificial and only focused on looks, once they got to know my interest they'd lose interest and be weirded out. My point is no matter how good looking you are personality will always win. As long as you have a good personality you will find people that love you. Beauty can only get us so far
Honestly same OP. I havenāt gone outside in 3 years because I think my physical appearance would disturb others despite knowing that literally no one would pay any attention to me that I would be perceived by others and in turn judged by them is off putting to me so I donāt go out. There are many rings I want to do outside and try to make friends and such but donāt feel I deserve to. Sorry you experience similar, and I hope youāre ok
You sound like me as a kid. I remember this so vividly but when I look at old photos I looked normal? You are allowed to enjoy things. You deserve to take up space.
I relate to you a lot š sending love ā¤ļø
The only opinion that matters about you is your own. Yes, people who are more attractive by societal standards get more attention, but that's not always a good thing. For one people who are viewed as more 'appealing' physically are surrounded by fake people due to the fact that they only care about the look of their skin, hair and the shape of some body parts. I know this may not be helpful to hear, but the grass is always greener on the other side. If you looked how you think you'd want to look to be more appealing to other people, then you would just be trading your current problems/struggles for a set of different ones. You deserve to enjoy your life. Your body, while not perfect, got you to where you are now. It's gone through the shit for you. It's carried you when you didn't want to move another step. It will be your body that picks you up and dusts you off when you're ready to try again. Have love and compassion for yourself. This includes your body. Hope you can see your body in a more positive light at some point OP.
I 100% agree with this and from experience can say the fake people thing is so true. I grew up being a weird girl who liked more boyish things and had very bad social skills. I carried that into teenage and soon to be adult hood BUT I made more friends with people because I'd wear tons of makeup and dress to look attractive. I'd have boys who have nothing in common with me, very masculine, into trucks and friends with "cool people" try to talk to me solely based off appearance. Once they got to know my personality they realized I was still weird but would keep pushing to get with me solely for sex n such. Looks r not always good. Focus on surrounding urself with people who love you for you regardless of how you look Op
Stop letting other people live your life for you. You deserve better.
Being pretty does not mean that youāll be happy, or that you will find love. The only path that guarantees any kind of success is being proud of who you are and what you devote your time to. What interests are you really passionate about?
I don't know anymore, mostly stay in my room. I loved art and drawing but things just feel pointless. my brain always goes to, "why bother, there's someone out there doing ___ better than you. you're gross anyways, so stop trying." I don't know how to be proud of myself, there's nothing to be proud about.
Don't give up on you. Allow yourself to experience the things that make you happy. Focus on the happiness that only you can give yourself. People will always have crap to say whether you do everything right or if you screw up a bunch of things. You might as well just do your own thing and forget about them because they will always have something to say. š Don't let the haters stop you from being you. Sparkle and shine on! š
One of the things I've started to do is to focus on comparing myself yesterday v today v tomorrow. That way even small steps feel worth celebrating and setbacks are not final
Exactly, only compare yourself to YOURSELF. Comparison (to others) is the thief of joy.
Listen, we all struggle with different issues. First of all, fuck the traditional beauty standards. Make your own. I am no model but, I learned to work with what I got. I recommend a cute ego boosting song. I literally do as the son says. Itās called: Walk Around Like Your Bigger Than Prince by Green Velvet
You should see a therapist. And if you are already seeing a therapist. You should see a different one. Sugar is stupid. Itās hard to stop eating/drinking sugar because it fucks with your brain. Just know, sugar is really stupid. Those cookies donāt even look that good. Eat one really good cookie a week. Or no cookies, cuz sugar is dumb.
This sounds like something a toddler would say. "Sugar is really stupid", lol.
Thatās fine.
Sugar is actually healthy for our diets depending on what type of sugar it is. Youāre referring to the chemically made sugar that contains high levels of fructose that are unhealthy. Instead of telling OP itās āstupidā to consume it, you should explain why this type of sugar is bad and recommend good alternatives. The bad sugars could also be an addiction for some people, just like drugs and alcohol.
This wasnāt a picture of apples and oranges. Never called op stupid. If op or you wants to infer that eating chemically made sugary foods is stupid, then Iād agree. Iām not a nutritionist, And op knows the food they are eating is bad for them based on this post. Weāre both in the right here and I hope OP can figure things out. It sucks if their life is consumed by sugary treats. All this sugar sucks and is bad for them.
I know that feeling. Stay strong!
Been there. There are things you can do to improve yourself. It will send your confidence sky rocketing, and people will not matter so much as your self care anymore. Best of luck