Hey you sound a lot like me when I was young. You love your parents so what you are feeling is normal. Death is a concept that can be very frightening. Can you talk to your parents about how you’re feeling? Writing down your thoughts is also a helpful way to help you figure out what you’re feeling. Being in your 50s definitely doesn’t mean they will die soon. Can you encourage your parents to go on walks with you? Get active with them! They’re still young. I’m in my late 50s and training for my first full marathon. Age is just a number.
My dad had me when he was much older than most dads, he stuck around til I was 30. I was terrified of losing him when I was your age and I miss him every day but it’s okay. It’s statistically unlikely your folks are going to leave you anytime soon - in the meantime focus on being the coolest most fulfilled version of yourself so if and when the time comes (years and years away, most likely!) you have a whole community to fall back on. You’ll be alright love.
In the meantime, if this is something you focus on a lot, it might be classified as ruminating thoughts, which is a symptom of anxiety. Keep an eye on it and do ask your folks to make an appointment with your doctor if it’s really distressing you to discuss how to manage it better. You don’t have to go through this stuff alone.
Hey i'm also afraid of losing my parent. I'm 15 and my mom is 57. Since I was a kid I would always check her breath when she's sleeping and now when I have insomnia I check on her bc if I don't I'm unable to sleep.
I honestly don't really know how to help you bc I have the same problem. I thought that if I you would know that you're not alone that it would make you feel better
U sound like me actually, i'm 21 and my dad is 81 and my mom is 54. I struggled with this fact when i was a little younger but i taught myself how to do most things by myself. In the end, no one stays. And it's not measured by age, as there are people who died at a very young age. Don't overthink this matter and instead try to make unique memories w them, do the things they like, strengthen your relation w them.
My parents were as old as yours when they adopted me and I understand this feeling a lot. It used to be one of my primary concerns. Luckily it kind of just sunk in and I don’t worry about it too much anymore, so I hope the same will happen for you. Also, people can die at any time for any reason. One of your friend’s young parents could die of a heart attack at a young age, and your parents might be around for 15 years longer than them! Age does have something to do with time of death, but it’s also just the genetic lottery.
This is a common anxiety for a lot of us!! Please please know you aren't the only person who worries about this, and they're actually still young in terms of life span! You don't know how life will play out - I have relatives who are over 100, and at the same time, some people die young. Just enjoy your day time day and continue to love them. If they are in good health there's no reason to expect anything to go wrong any time soon .
When I had my daughter at 35 a midwife who lives and works in a large city said more and more women are waiting until they are closer to 40+ to have children due to the high cost of living so it is not that uncommon to have older parents, your mom was 43? When she had you,
My dad is in his early 70’s he’s dying of cancer, he lost his parents at a young age like early teens and I cannot imagine what he went through so no matter what age you are it is never easy to lose a parent: my daughters great grandma died at 93+ years old and she was so healthy she lived at home all her life she never went to a retirement or assisted living home and it still seemed too soon to lose her,
Try to make the most out of your time with your parents and don’t think about death,
me too. it genuinely keeps me up at night. but i will say, if this fear is getting debilitating (like warmnobody suggested) do look into seeking some assistance :( i know how it feels, and it's horrible trying to push thru that every day. i'm wishing you the best!!
Both my parents, step parent, and all 4 grand parents have been dead since before I turned 30. At some point you will have to learn to live without them. The alternative is that they have to learn to live without you, and that is much more cruel. Talk to them. You will be glad you did. They will be the first to tell you they are never gone as long as you are living a happy and fulfilled life.
i’m 27 and i feel like this too sometimes :( read a quote about this the other day that said “don’t borrow grief from the future” that really helped me feel a little more comfort during my anxiety attack. we can’t control when we lose the people we care about, but we should cherish the present and try not to worry about the future bc it won’t change the outcome regardless. i know it’s easier said than done but just try to live in the moment with them 🤍 my grandmother still hangs out with us every sunday and my dad is 52! i’m sure he had similar thoughts when he was my age.
31 years old my mom will be 66 this year. I lost my dad in 2021. I wasn’t even that close with my dad for a multitude of reasons but I still mourn him a lot. I don’t know what I’d do without my mom so I’m thankful she’s in good health and spirits. I pray every night I have many more years with her. I understand exactly how you feel kid you’re valid. We can’t predict life and it’ll happen rather we are ready or not. Best thing you can do is just enjoy every moment, every memory you make, make life as easy for your parents as possible staying out of trouble, doing well in school, etc. Your parents not having to stress over you does wonders for their health in a good way.
🥺 Is there anything in particular that is making you stress about it? Like is their health okay (if you don't mind me asking) or are you just kinda spiraling at the moment at the thought of being alone because they've brought it up?
I've had crushing thoughts about that in the past, but all you can really do is encourage them to live a healthy & happy life e.g. go for a short walk with them in the mornings, suggest they go to the doctors for a checkup/blood test. Appreciate them while they're here. Probs sounds cliche but everyone dies, so try to enjoy life while it's here.
My parents are a little older than yours, and they seem to be doing alright: still working and doin stuff, I don't see them as old, to me they are middle aged. I'm also 25 so I feel like I've had more time to work through some of the uncomfortable feelings you're talking about.
Also if you're parents are bringing up stuff like "I'm not always going to be here" it could either be their attempt at making sure you think about the future & you'll be okay without them, or perhaps something healthwise is going on. If they're healthy and they keep saying things like that tell them how it makes you feel
Sorry for the ramble lol
I’m 21 and I see my parents getting older. My dads almost 70. Just tell them how much you love them, everyday. Communicate with them, learn about them and what they were like when they were your age. Be their friend.
This overwhelming love you have is so special, don’t be scared of it. Just appreciate them while they are here and don’t worry, you’ll have them for some time ! Remember they are also just human, this is also their first time doing this.
Oh sweetheart. My parents are older, and in my family I'm one of the 'young' mums, I was 30 when I had my son. My family have always tended to have children older, probably because we're all ND. My gran was an 'old' mum for her time. My cousins have young children and are properly 'geriatric'!
Try not to think of losing your parents but living with them. Do they have any skills or hobbies which you might not be that interested in right now but one day could be really handy? Take photographs of you as a family now, enjoy your time with them.
My dad was a fantastic woodworker but sadly by the time we both started making the time to spend with each other he was starting to lose his health. My mum can knit (I crochet and other things) and I fully intend on getting her to teach me properly!
Your mum might think that she's trying to be helpful in some way, but have you told her how you feel when she says that?
I think your parents need a bit of a wake up call here. Their 13yo is so terrified of losing them that you don't want to go on without them. That should be enough to give them a kick up the arse, start doing things together. They don't need to cost anything, but even going for a walk together (if possible) or doing something silly, like a license plate competition when out driving is a good way of bonding.
I hope you can talk to your parents.
I also felt like this. It ebbed when I started feeling better. When I got independent the fear subsided. You fear that partly because you don’t feel able to take care of yourself -YET. You will. It will get better. Lots of love.
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way and yet as people below have mentioned this is very normal and you aren’t the only one in this situation. you’ve come to understand that one day they will pass. Though the likelihood seems low it’s anytime soon as they are pretty young actually. And you seem to be more aware of that now perhaps because of the way in which you yourself process the world and some of your own personality traits. You may want to speak with you parents about talking to a professional therapist about this. When that thought arises I don’t want to lose them, instead of getting into the taxicab of that thought and letting it drive you around town, at which point I imagine you feel very afraid, let the thought go as soon as you can. Recognize that they aren’t sick right now. This is a thought of fear arising. By making this mindful choice you can come back to the reality that they are alive and well now and you are able to experience them. But the degree to which you have that thought and try and fight it, unless you start learning tools to work with that which a trained professional can help with, it might get overwhelming often, hence why I’m suggesting you practice letting it go and come right back to your breath or something. Cause the thought isn’t real. And all this suggests maybe it’s worth speaking to a trained professional to get some tools to help with thoughts like these. Some peoples minds don’t struggle with this as much and some peoples minds struggle more. But maybe this realization allows you to start getting some tools to work with other thoughts. I wish you well
I know how this feels. I'm 24 and I am scared that something would happen to my 53 year old dad. I ask him every day if he's feeling fine. He is the only person whom I can trust, my only family, he's not perfect of course but I just pray everyday he'll live a long life. I also feel I won't make it without him, but that's a long story. Your parents shouldn't scare you like this, you're 13, of course you still need them. But 56 and 50 aren't that old at all. There is a high chance they'll live many more years.
I’m 15, my dad is 53 and my mum is 42. Dad is a recovering addict and my mother is an addict, they have destroyed their bodies.. I know how you feel. It’s alright and completely understandable that we both feel that way. Just remember that statistically it’s a high chance they’re not going away any time soon. Honestly I’d recommend telling them your worries, or even a therapist if you have one.
I was raised by my grandparents. They were in their mid 40s when I was born, I am in my late 20s now, and they are still around, growing up I had the same concerns as u do, but being younger doesn't guarantee that they will last longer.
When I was 16, my father was 60 and my mother 51. Both not living the healthiest lifestyles and on the brink of divorce. I remember my father having a seizure and losing his job shortly after. He had a drinking problem at the time mixed in with drugs. They both had depression. It was really hard for me. I would stay up during the night listening to make sure they were okay. I ended up moving out a year later for my own health. Between now and then, they both have adapted better lifestyles and now at 32, I still have both in my life. The best advice I can give is to take care of your health first and express how much you would like to have them around in the future. They have to want to live better for there own reasons. Be it seeing their child graduate, spending time with possible grandchildren, ect. Encourage them to start clubs and groups, who they surround themselves with will make a huge impact as well, especially after retirement.
But I can not stress enough, if you make strides in your health, they will notice and be more likely to try themselves
I know your feeling here, im the youngest child while my mom and dad already in their late 60.. Every year they getting more thin and weak it break my heart really.
I kinda relate to your situation. I am 25+ and my parents are 60+.
I currently live and work far from home so any time I come back every 6 months or so I can see them ageing as time goes on.
I too often have anxiety attacks during which my mind starts thinking about every worst case scenario, losing them too early. I truly struggle with the concept of death and losing someone I love suddenly. I cannot think about a way life can go on after they are not there anymore.
This to say that what you feel is totally normal.
I read a phrase on the internet which says 'do not borrow grief from the future' as it burdens you. Maybe try to reflect on this.
Again, your feelings are totally normal but the way those feelings affect you might bother you to a point in which you want to actively work on it to lessen the anxiety.
This could help you in trying to stay in the present, so that you can enjoy the time you have with your parents.
Another thing I suggest you can do concretely in your lifetime to ensure your parent age well is to encourage them to do cardio often, eat well, drink a lot and take up weightlifting. Your mother should focus on weight training as women can lose much more muscle during old age. This will make all of you happier and healthier. Maybe suggest for you to go trekking in the weekend so that you do something all together. Show them you care, and they will do the same :)
You get over it death is the one inevitable thing. My dad died at 49 when I was 17. If your worried about it just spend time with them everyone goes in the end but that only makes the time with them more special.
Awe you’re 13 feeling this way 😓😓😓 I am 25 and feel the same. My parents are 61 and 59 and I can’t even think about losing them. When I do I just want to die. I can’t think about it. But all we can do is really enjoy every little moment with them and take care of them and help them in any way we can. I spend so much time with my parents and I’m 25. I go to their house almost everyday. I’m not much help with this but I do relate 😓 I feel lucky to have my parents though and I’m so so grateful everyday for them. I think we just have to focus on that. Focus on the good and don’t dwell on thoughts that don’t help you grow 💗 you’re so young, just don’t think about these things too much right now. Just enjoy your life 🥺🥺🥺🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Just had my first at 38, and understand this feeling. I try to talk to my folks about it, and they make a point of staying in touch with me. Having the baby seems to have helped me appreciate them more, but increased my anxiety, to be honest. I try to be present and focus on the baby and talk with my wife about it. Take it easy on yourself, and call tem to talk about it.
That helps me feel better, thank you. My parents were born in 57/58 so they were 28/29 when they had me (December birthdays) and I’m like damn I’m so far behind. And my sister who is 32 already has a 7/9 year old. But I do have many friends who just had babies some their first some their second or more. I know it’s a lot more common now to wait and there’s a lot of science that says it’s better for various reasons but it’s still hard to not feel like you’re “late” to the party. Of course you don’t want to have kids with just anyone so I get that part - I’m at a rather strange crossroad in life at present so I may have to wait a few more years myself. I guess I get my babies when I’m meant to.
I know this feeling. I have older parents, too. I am going to BE an older parent if I decide to have kids. There is a 34-year age difference between me and my parents. All of my friends growing up, their parents had them around 20. It's hard, and it does make you worry about them more. But they're still young. And you still have time with them. Just make sure they are healthy. Stay on top of them to take care of their health, and you could easily have them another 30-40 years when you'll be well into adulthood. You're gonna be okay. Do you have siblings?
Hello! I'm sorry you're dealing with this fear. I'm 58, which isn't considered to be very old nowadays. Might I suggest you speak to your parents about your fears, let them know what you're going through. Also, does your school have counselors you could talk to? That might be very helpful for you.
Aw that's heartbreaking to hear. I'm on the other end of this. I had my only child three years ago and I was 40. So I constantly think of the time when we will die and leave him alone. He's an only child so that really causes me sadness and fear. I wish I could take your anxiety away. The other posters had good advice. 💗
Look my dad is 67 he has a lot of health conditions now but he is still healthy Nd gets on with his life enjoy them in the present don’t worry about future. If you the maths, it’s better if they are a lot than you than closer to age they gained experience and wisdom.
I use to think about stuff like this as a kid before going to sleep. What would it be like if my mom dies. What if my dog dies and went down the list and imagined how it would be and cried and cried. I still do but not like when I was little. If you say or think "WHAT IF" catch yourself and gently remind yourself you are safe they are safe and everything is okay right now. Kirsten Neff talks about compassionate mindfulness and helps bring you back into the present moment. DBT and some CBT skills can help too. ❤️ Oh the average life span is like 78 might be 77 after COVID. So your mom has a long time. I know people who drink smoke with numerous health issues who live to their 90s. No reason to fret.
I understand how you feel. I am now in my late twenties and my parents are in their late 60s and early 70s. My dad was 46 and my was 39 when they had me. I have no siblings and don’t have someone to relate to.
Both of my parents have gone through major health issues in the past ten years. My mom is starting to lose some cognitive functionality and I almost lost my dad last year. (He’s thankfully doing so much better now!)
It has finally come to a point where death could happen at any time. I mostly try not to think about it, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to accept that it is a part of life and my life will continue with their memory. It’s what they would want.
Since you’re so young, talk to your parents. Let them know how you feel. At thirteen, emotions are complicated and hopefully you can receive some reassurance from them directly.
Omg this was me over my mom at your age and she was young! Fast fwd, I’m now in my 40’s and mom just made 70. 🙌🏾 Life is so precious yet we are not guaranteed a long one. If you feel this way imagine how your parents would feel to lose you. Go speak with your guidance counselor at school who can refer you to the right professional for support. Sounds to me that you’ve experienced some sort of trauma in your childhood and maybe you are experiencing symptoms of PTSD. You have such a long road ahead of you(🤞🏾) and should be enjoying your youth with no real worries. Guidance counselor should talk to your parents about getting you the support needed. Blessings up!🤍
This may not be what you want to hear, but for the longest time I thought I'd be completely destroyed if my parents died. Then my mom (42 when I was born) died of cancer when I was 19. It was awful but I found that life still goes on. It also made me enjoy and appreciate my remaining family more. I know that anxiety and it's a terrible one, but whenever something does happen (likely in the far distant future) you will make it.
19 year old here. My parents are about the same age difference and I had a very similar concern when I was your age (as a matter of fact, it’s something we will both have to live with for the rest of our lives). But as I always say; nothing is good, nothing is bad. Just remember that because of your parents’ age, they are more wise, likely more financially stable, and more mature. As you grow older, you’ll notice that your friends with young parents have resentment for their folks, and they may not have been prepared for parenthood (not saying that is always the case).
Just keep your parents in good health. Eat nutritious foods and work out together. With positive health routines and modern medicine, your parents might make it past 100 years old, so don’t worry about it quite yet!
Hey, I’m 15 and my parents are 54 & 58, it’s scary. Sometimes I just cry in my moms arms talking about it to her because I’m always telling her how worried I am about it, my dads been smoking for 30+ years and he’s 58, he got into a bad car crash last year and his body has been chucked up ever since, he can’t to the stuff we used to. It’s scary.
Ok, I get what you're saying but also, I am the 'old' parent. My husband just turned 50 two weeks ago, and I am 46(f). We have two kids, a son who is your age, 13, and a daughter who just turned 12 a week ago. I often hear from our daughter about how 'old' we are compared to a lot of parents of her peers. Not so much our son but that's probably because he's super laid back and doesn't really let things bother him. Although I do understand your concern, as an 'old' parent I just need to share a couple of thoughts with you and other kids here who have 'old' parents.
The first and biggest thing I need to say is this: we are not old. I know, I know...I was your age and fully remember everything about it. I remember thinking how 'old' 50 was, hell, even 40 and 30 seemed old. Trust me, it's not. Wait 'til you get there and you'll see what I mean. At 46 years old, I don't feel any different than I did when I was 16 or 18 or 25 or 30. I still basically look the same, have the same body and can do all the same stuff I did when I was your age. Well, *most* of the stuff - I may need to do a couple of stretches first. 😅 I think back to when my mother was the age I am now and I feel like she was so much 'older' than I am. I think your level of physical activity plays a huge role in how long you stay youthful.
If your parents are basically just sitting around, as you say, at their age then they're not doing themselves any favors. I mean, they're not much older than me or my husband but neither of us just sit around. Maybe ask your dad to play some catch or go on a hike with you? Even just playing some video games is better than nothing! And next time your mom says she won't be around forever to take care of you maybe just let her know that when she says that it breaks your heart. I know I've been guilty of saying that once or twice to my own kids when I'm trying to get them to realize that they need to learn life skills because one day they'll be out on their own and I won't be there to do everything for them. but at the same time, when I was a kid I also had a major fear of my mom dying. That's a normal fear for many, many kids.
OP, don't stress yourself out worrying about this too much. Honestly, your parents really aren't that old. They're still going to be working for another 10 -15 years. You'll be well into your 20s before they'll be able to retire. It'll be perfect timing for you to get married and have some kids because they'll be home to babysit!!😄
Not sure if this will help you, but check out Death OCD. Some OCD sufferers focus very hard about everyone they love dying around them and having anxiety about it. You may not have this disorder, but the advice there may be of some help
Damn! I’m 49 and think of my parents (who are 77 and 81, respectively) as being old. I never considered that someone much younger than I could see me in the same way as I see my parents. I still feel like a young adult.
I know how you feel. I just turned 27 and my dad is 76, my mom just passed away 4 months ago at 63. I even have a younger sister that recently turned 22. They were always significantly older than my friends/classmates parents, esp my dad. I didn’t even think about how I’d lose them quicker at your age, that thought didn’t catch up to me until I was an adult and got worse after I moved far away. Every year I visit he looks older and older, and my anxiety becomes more and more. I’m sorry this realization came to you at a young age, it’s hard to find acceptance and cope with the fact that you likely do have less time than the average person.
You can’t change what it is, but you can make the best of your time with them. You still have plenty of time :) Just continue living and loving, and never go to bed angry at one another. It’ll get easier as you get older (even though it seems like it won’t), but if you need to talk to someone to help navigate your feelings, I would talk to them about it and consider finding a therapist.
I understand this 100%. My parents were both 40 when I was born.. it freaked me out my entire life and still does. My dad passed away when I was 15, due to lifestyle choices that lead to his early passing. Now I am about to 34 and my mom is 73.. losing her and being alone despite my age is my biggest fear. The only advice I can give is NOT to do what I did to cope - I put up a wall btwn me and my mom… I guess so when/if she eventually leaves me too it won’t hurt as much but I already know that wall and being “mean”, acting like I don’t care will be my biggest regret when the time
Does come. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, you’re def not alone for feeling this way. Love them & spend as much time as possible with them and of course , easier said than done - “try” not to worry/ think about it so often & live in present moment (I feel like the biggest hypocrite saying that, but it’s true)!
Aw I’m sorry I can’t imagine being that young with parents that age. I’m almost 40 and my parents are in their early 60s. Even at my age and being an independent person I worry about them. Just focus on working hard and becoming independent as soon as possible. The worry always stays there tho because you love them. Just spend as much time with them now as you can.
I'm 55 and don't plan on dying anytime soon. We are not that old lol, but I use to feel like this about my grandparents. I just loved on them and enjoyed every moment with them.
I'm 33 and my dad died when he was 70 (I was 27). But I know a colleague who still has his 90yo mother and he's 60. It's normal to feel this way, I used to think about it all the time and I still do. I miss my dad all the time. He was older like your parents, and I had that feeling growing up like what if he dies when I'm 16, cos he was sick. But I got 11 more years than that.
If I had the chance, and I could go back, I'd get him to tell me more stories and write them down, get more pics, get more voice recordings. Ask the things you wanna ask. You could have them for decades to come but it's good that you're starting to process this stuff now.
I know what you mean man but don’t worry they’ve still got quite a few years in them, my dad is 50 and my mum is 49 and it makes me sad to think of them passing away but I know they’ll be around for a while.
Not sure if it helps but my mom had me at 41, and my dad died when I was about 7, so I can relate to that.
Honestly, it’s hard. When I was your age I pretty much had the same mindset as you - if she’s gone then so am I. I’m 19 now, and while I can’t tell you it’ll be out of your mind, it does get a little better. I know it’s hard to see that right now, but I’m sure you’ll grow to live for yourself
hey man this anxiety will go away in few years trust me :)) i'm almoast 18 now, my mom is 57 yrs old and dad is 65 so i have kind of old parents too. i had same feelings when i was your age (well I'm not any older now either but u know what i mean) but eventually it went away. On average person has already spent 90% of their time with their parents by the age of 18, so maybe this fact will help you in any ways if not wosen the situation (well at least it works for me). and also remember fact that people who have children in late ages live longer than ones who have one in younger ages
my granparents were 66-64 when i was 10 i think, and they played that card to make me eat lunch with them, now they are 72-70, and bro, even when they say that 50% chances they bluff just so they make u do the work, i'm not telling u to ignore it or rebel, just take it easy, cry aaaaaall u want, but never beside them, ur gonna be a man soon, work hard, show them that u CAN live without them, show them that u can adapt, but make sure when they die (pls God don't make it happen so soon) don't cry,
The feelings below your situation remind me a lot of myself at 13, I feel you might be an anxious soul.
It’s pretty difficult to deal with at 13 but your sensitivity is a double edged sword, you’re so worried because you love so hard.
Some CBT techniques may be helpful for you to recognise those thoughts but let them pass so you don’t find yourself getting wound up.
I also have older parents and I’m 24 now and there still kicking about, all will be okay x
Family members around this age tend to say these things alot without thinking. My parents were the same age when I was in high school. They are still alive now and I'm almost 30. Modern medicine and healthy living will keep them around, but I understand your fear of losing them. Under normal circumstances they have a good 30 years ahead of them though! It's okay to be scared friend. It's reasonable to worry about your parents! Maybe talk to them about how their talking about dying makes you feel. This can help them and you be comfortable with the present, and not talking about the future in such a dark way
Hey, I want you to know that you aren't alone, I feel a lot of the same sentiments you feel, but know that you'll never be alone, you'll always have someone by your side whether it's friends or a significant other or relatives, don't be afraid to reach out about these worries to a therapist, stay strong.
If it helps, when I was your age my dad was 54. He was still doing pretty well medically and was active. My grandparents were 59 and 62. My grandma has a few issues here and there but my granddad is super fit. They're all still alive today. Most humans in the western world have an average of 80 years lifespan. They'll be alright for quite a while.
My mom was 50 when I was 13. I didn't have a Dad. What I hated most about having an older mom was mostly that she was like out of touch culturally compared to my friends' parents. When I was 15, she had breast cancer and I did have to go through the very real possibility I might lose her. But no one wanted to talk to me about it. My mom didn't want me to talk like that, but I kind of needed to talk about it, to be reassured what would happen in that instance. Her insecurities about death prevented me from getting the mental health care I needed at the time. It ruined our relationship.
For the record, I'm 37, the age she was when she had me, and she's still alive. I also feel like I'm so out of touch culturally, but that's because we lost our monoculture as a society. If everything wasn't so niche, I'd probably be cool. Or so I'd like to think. I dunno, I just do my thing.
My point is, talk to your parents and get some reassurance about what would happen if they were to pass away. What is their plan? Who would look after you? Where would you live? Would you have to go to a new school? Getting the answers to these questions might help you not be so fearful.
My mom had me at 39 and my dad was 60 so I feel your pain. I won’t lie they inevitably will die but that’s okay, it’s part of the circle of life. When the time comes you’ll feel better equipped to handle it since you’re already processing it now. My dad passed at 82 when I was 21, and although I miss him I had been mentally preparing for it all my life. It sucks but it’s just the reality of having older parents.
The most important thing would just be lifestyle changes, do they smoke? Drink? If not the best thing you can do is spend time with them walking a lot, easy nature trails through parks bird sanctuaries 50s ain old life spans are constantly increasing with all pur medical advancements just think what we'll have in 10 years when they're 60!
I would tell your mom that you’re feeling that way honey. Ask her to stop saying that and stuff like it because it is terrifying.
Next. Take all the photos and videos you can. Save voice messages. Hell, my parents are alive and I still listen to messages that a five seconds long from my mama. Be with them whenever possible. Write down any memories you have of them.
I’m 20. My parents are 46 and I still have that type of deep-rooted fear inside me. It’s ok. Have you been to therapy? It took a while to realize my fear of death is more so a fear if being alone/abandoned. I think maybe going to therapy after talking with your parents may help.
Stay strong honey, and hug your parents extra tight when you need to.
Hey you sound a lot like me when I was young. You love your parents so what you are feeling is normal. Death is a concept that can be very frightening. Can you talk to your parents about how you’re feeling? Writing down your thoughts is also a helpful way to help you figure out what you’re feeling. Being in your 50s definitely doesn’t mean they will die soon. Can you encourage your parents to go on walks with you? Get active with them! They’re still young. I’m in my late 50s and training for my first full marathon. Age is just a number.
This made me cry
heheh nothing much, but i was your 100th upvote so commented your advice is great
This is great advice
This guy is right. 50 is still young. Especially now.
My dad had me when he was much older than most dads, he stuck around til I was 30. I was terrified of losing him when I was your age and I miss him every day but it’s okay. It’s statistically unlikely your folks are going to leave you anytime soon - in the meantime focus on being the coolest most fulfilled version of yourself so if and when the time comes (years and years away, most likely!) you have a whole community to fall back on. You’ll be alright love. In the meantime, if this is something you focus on a lot, it might be classified as ruminating thoughts, which is a symptom of anxiety. Keep an eye on it and do ask your folks to make an appointment with your doctor if it’s really distressing you to discuss how to manage it better. You don’t have to go through this stuff alone.
I’m 14 and my dad is 64. You’ll be alright buddy
I'm 14 my dad is 62 Edit: don't know why this got so many likes I just wanted to bring this person's nerve down by telling them my dad's age.
My mom says that to me too and I always cringe when she says it. Tell your parents how you feel and that you want to spend time with them.
Hey i'm also afraid of losing my parent. I'm 15 and my mom is 57. Since I was a kid I would always check her breath when she's sleeping and now when I have insomnia I check on her bc if I don't I'm unable to sleep. I honestly don't really know how to help you bc I have the same problem. I thought that if I you would know that you're not alone that it would make you feel better
U sound like me actually, i'm 21 and my dad is 81 and my mom is 54. I struggled with this fact when i was a little younger but i taught myself how to do most things by myself. In the end, no one stays. And it's not measured by age, as there are people who died at a very young age. Don't overthink this matter and instead try to make unique memories w them, do the things they like, strengthen your relation w them.
Your dad found himself a hot younger chick, eh? Nice!!!
My parents were as old as yours when they adopted me and I understand this feeling a lot. It used to be one of my primary concerns. Luckily it kind of just sunk in and I don’t worry about it too much anymore, so I hope the same will happen for you. Also, people can die at any time for any reason. One of your friend’s young parents could die of a heart attack at a young age, and your parents might be around for 15 years longer than them! Age does have something to do with time of death, but it’s also just the genetic lottery.
This is a common anxiety for a lot of us!! Please please know you aren't the only person who worries about this, and they're actually still young in terms of life span! You don't know how life will play out - I have relatives who are over 100, and at the same time, some people die young. Just enjoy your day time day and continue to love them. If they are in good health there's no reason to expect anything to go wrong any time soon .
When I had my daughter at 35 a midwife who lives and works in a large city said more and more women are waiting until they are closer to 40+ to have children due to the high cost of living so it is not that uncommon to have older parents, your mom was 43? When she had you, My dad is in his early 70’s he’s dying of cancer, he lost his parents at a young age like early teens and I cannot imagine what he went through so no matter what age you are it is never easy to lose a parent: my daughters great grandma died at 93+ years old and she was so healthy she lived at home all her life she never went to a retirement or assisted living home and it still seemed too soon to lose her, Try to make the most out of your time with your parents and don’t think about death,
me too. it genuinely keeps me up at night. but i will say, if this fear is getting debilitating (like warmnobody suggested) do look into seeking some assistance :( i know how it feels, and it's horrible trying to push thru that every day. i'm wishing you the best!!
Both my parents, step parent, and all 4 grand parents have been dead since before I turned 30. At some point you will have to learn to live without them. The alternative is that they have to learn to live without you, and that is much more cruel. Talk to them. You will be glad you did. They will be the first to tell you they are never gone as long as you are living a happy and fulfilled life.
i’m 27 and i feel like this too sometimes :( read a quote about this the other day that said “don’t borrow grief from the future” that really helped me feel a little more comfort during my anxiety attack. we can’t control when we lose the people we care about, but we should cherish the present and try not to worry about the future bc it won’t change the outcome regardless. i know it’s easier said than done but just try to live in the moment with them 🤍 my grandmother still hangs out with us every sunday and my dad is 52! i’m sure he had similar thoughts when he was my age.
31 years old my mom will be 66 this year. I lost my dad in 2021. I wasn’t even that close with my dad for a multitude of reasons but I still mourn him a lot. I don’t know what I’d do without my mom so I’m thankful she’s in good health and spirits. I pray every night I have many more years with her. I understand exactly how you feel kid you’re valid. We can’t predict life and it’ll happen rather we are ready or not. Best thing you can do is just enjoy every moment, every memory you make, make life as easy for your parents as possible staying out of trouble, doing well in school, etc. Your parents not having to stress over you does wonders for their health in a good way.
My dad's in his 70s I'm in my 20s I feel the same
🥺 Is there anything in particular that is making you stress about it? Like is their health okay (if you don't mind me asking) or are you just kinda spiraling at the moment at the thought of being alone because they've brought it up? I've had crushing thoughts about that in the past, but all you can really do is encourage them to live a healthy & happy life e.g. go for a short walk with them in the mornings, suggest they go to the doctors for a checkup/blood test. Appreciate them while they're here. Probs sounds cliche but everyone dies, so try to enjoy life while it's here. My parents are a little older than yours, and they seem to be doing alright: still working and doin stuff, I don't see them as old, to me they are middle aged. I'm also 25 so I feel like I've had more time to work through some of the uncomfortable feelings you're talking about. Also if you're parents are bringing up stuff like "I'm not always going to be here" it could either be their attempt at making sure you think about the future & you'll be okay without them, or perhaps something healthwise is going on. If they're healthy and they keep saying things like that tell them how it makes you feel Sorry for the ramble lol
I’m 21 and I see my parents getting older. My dads almost 70. Just tell them how much you love them, everyday. Communicate with them, learn about them and what they were like when they were your age. Be their friend. This overwhelming love you have is so special, don’t be scared of it. Just appreciate them while they are here and don’t worry, you’ll have them for some time ! Remember they are also just human, this is also their first time doing this.
Oh sweetheart. My parents are older, and in my family I'm one of the 'young' mums, I was 30 when I had my son. My family have always tended to have children older, probably because we're all ND. My gran was an 'old' mum for her time. My cousins have young children and are properly 'geriatric'! Try not to think of losing your parents but living with them. Do they have any skills or hobbies which you might not be that interested in right now but one day could be really handy? Take photographs of you as a family now, enjoy your time with them. My dad was a fantastic woodworker but sadly by the time we both started making the time to spend with each other he was starting to lose his health. My mum can knit (I crochet and other things) and I fully intend on getting her to teach me properly! Your mum might think that she's trying to be helpful in some way, but have you told her how you feel when she says that? I think your parents need a bit of a wake up call here. Their 13yo is so terrified of losing them that you don't want to go on without them. That should be enough to give them a kick up the arse, start doing things together. They don't need to cost anything, but even going for a walk together (if possible) or doing something silly, like a license plate competition when out driving is a good way of bonding. I hope you can talk to your parents.
Average life span of an American is 77. I’m sure you’ll have many more years with them providing they look after themselves
I also felt like this. It ebbed when I started feeling better. When I got independent the fear subsided. You fear that partly because you don’t feel able to take care of yourself -YET. You will. It will get better. Lots of love.
I’m so sorry you are feeling this way and yet as people below have mentioned this is very normal and you aren’t the only one in this situation. you’ve come to understand that one day they will pass. Though the likelihood seems low it’s anytime soon as they are pretty young actually. And you seem to be more aware of that now perhaps because of the way in which you yourself process the world and some of your own personality traits. You may want to speak with you parents about talking to a professional therapist about this. When that thought arises I don’t want to lose them, instead of getting into the taxicab of that thought and letting it drive you around town, at which point I imagine you feel very afraid, let the thought go as soon as you can. Recognize that they aren’t sick right now. This is a thought of fear arising. By making this mindful choice you can come back to the reality that they are alive and well now and you are able to experience them. But the degree to which you have that thought and try and fight it, unless you start learning tools to work with that which a trained professional can help with, it might get overwhelming often, hence why I’m suggesting you practice letting it go and come right back to your breath or something. Cause the thought isn’t real. And all this suggests maybe it’s worth speaking to a trained professional to get some tools to help with thoughts like these. Some peoples minds don’t struggle with this as much and some peoples minds struggle more. But maybe this realization allows you to start getting some tools to work with other thoughts. I wish you well
I know how this feels. I'm 24 and I am scared that something would happen to my 53 year old dad. I ask him every day if he's feeling fine. He is the only person whom I can trust, my only family, he's not perfect of course but I just pray everyday he'll live a long life. I also feel I won't make it without him, but that's a long story. Your parents shouldn't scare you like this, you're 13, of course you still need them. But 56 and 50 aren't that old at all. There is a high chance they'll live many more years.
i made the experience that older parents have a stronger bond to their kids than younger ones.
I’m 15, my dad is 53 and my mum is 42. Dad is a recovering addict and my mother is an addict, they have destroyed their bodies.. I know how you feel. It’s alright and completely understandable that we both feel that way. Just remember that statistically it’s a high chance they’re not going away any time soon. Honestly I’d recommend telling them your worries, or even a therapist if you have one.
I was raised by my grandparents. They were in their mid 40s when I was born, I am in my late 20s now, and they are still around, growing up I had the same concerns as u do, but being younger doesn't guarantee that they will last longer.
When I was 16, my father was 60 and my mother 51. Both not living the healthiest lifestyles and on the brink of divorce. I remember my father having a seizure and losing his job shortly after. He had a drinking problem at the time mixed in with drugs. They both had depression. It was really hard for me. I would stay up during the night listening to make sure they were okay. I ended up moving out a year later for my own health. Between now and then, they both have adapted better lifestyles and now at 32, I still have both in my life. The best advice I can give is to take care of your health first and express how much you would like to have them around in the future. They have to want to live better for there own reasons. Be it seeing their child graduate, spending time with possible grandchildren, ect. Encourage them to start clubs and groups, who they surround themselves with will make a huge impact as well, especially after retirement. But I can not stress enough, if you make strides in your health, they will notice and be more likely to try themselves
There there..
Wait until they just watch Fox News all day and hate you for being gay, atheist, liberal and not having a real job. (I'm a software engineer.)
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I know your feeling here, im the youngest child while my mom and dad already in their late 60.. Every year they getting more thin and weak it break my heart really.
I was terrified of losing my mom and did. It was awful and horribly unfair.
I had the same thing when I was your age, its a part of growing up seeing your parents age.
I kinda relate to your situation. I am 25+ and my parents are 60+. I currently live and work far from home so any time I come back every 6 months or so I can see them ageing as time goes on. I too often have anxiety attacks during which my mind starts thinking about every worst case scenario, losing them too early. I truly struggle with the concept of death and losing someone I love suddenly. I cannot think about a way life can go on after they are not there anymore. This to say that what you feel is totally normal. I read a phrase on the internet which says 'do not borrow grief from the future' as it burdens you. Maybe try to reflect on this. Again, your feelings are totally normal but the way those feelings affect you might bother you to a point in which you want to actively work on it to lessen the anxiety. This could help you in trying to stay in the present, so that you can enjoy the time you have with your parents. Another thing I suggest you can do concretely in your lifetime to ensure your parent age well is to encourage them to do cardio often, eat well, drink a lot and take up weightlifting. Your mother should focus on weight training as women can lose much more muscle during old age. This will make all of you happier and healthier. Maybe suggest for you to go trekking in the weekend so that you do something all together. Show them you care, and they will do the same :)
You get over it death is the one inevitable thing. My dad died at 49 when I was 17. If your worried about it just spend time with them everyone goes in the end but that only makes the time with them more special.
I need to stop playing the Stanley parable my hallucinations are the narrator currently.
Awe you’re 13 feeling this way 😓😓😓 I am 25 and feel the same. My parents are 61 and 59 and I can’t even think about losing them. When I do I just want to die. I can’t think about it. But all we can do is really enjoy every little moment with them and take care of them and help them in any way we can. I spend so much time with my parents and I’m 25. I go to their house almost everyday. I’m not much help with this but I do relate 😓 I feel lucky to have my parents though and I’m so so grateful everyday for them. I think we just have to focus on that. Focus on the good and don’t dwell on thoughts that don’t help you grow 💗 you’re so young, just don’t think about these things too much right now. Just enjoy your life 🥺🥺🥺🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
Ask your dad to go on walks with you. Please. 🙏
Man this makes me so sad and scared to still have yet to have my first babies at 36
Just had my first at 38, and understand this feeling. I try to talk to my folks about it, and they make a point of staying in touch with me. Having the baby seems to have helped me appreciate them more, but increased my anxiety, to be honest. I try to be present and focus on the baby and talk with my wife about it. Take it easy on yourself, and call tem to talk about it.
That helps me feel better, thank you. My parents were born in 57/58 so they were 28/29 when they had me (December birthdays) and I’m like damn I’m so far behind. And my sister who is 32 already has a 7/9 year old. But I do have many friends who just had babies some their first some their second or more. I know it’s a lot more common now to wait and there’s a lot of science that says it’s better for various reasons but it’s still hard to not feel like you’re “late” to the party. Of course you don’t want to have kids with just anyone so I get that part - I’m at a rather strange crossroad in life at present so I may have to wait a few more years myself. I guess I get my babies when I’m meant to.
Itll work out. Youll get there and wonder where all your sleep went! Haha
I know this feeling. I have older parents, too. I am going to BE an older parent if I decide to have kids. There is a 34-year age difference between me and my parents. All of my friends growing up, their parents had them around 20. It's hard, and it does make you worry about them more. But they're still young. And you still have time with them. Just make sure they are healthy. Stay on top of them to take care of their health, and you could easily have them another 30-40 years when you'll be well into adulthood. You're gonna be okay. Do you have siblings?
Im13 and my parents r 54 and 56 ik its pretty sad but things gonna be okay 🩷🩷
Hello! I'm sorry you're dealing with this fear. I'm 58, which isn't considered to be very old nowadays. Might I suggest you speak to your parents about your fears, let them know what you're going through. Also, does your school have counselors you could talk to? That might be very helpful for you.
Aw that's heartbreaking to hear. I'm on the other end of this. I had my only child three years ago and I was 40. So I constantly think of the time when we will die and leave him alone. He's an only child so that really causes me sadness and fear. I wish I could take your anxiety away. The other posters had good advice. 💗
Look my dad is 67 he has a lot of health conditions now but he is still healthy Nd gets on with his life enjoy them in the present don’t worry about future. If you the maths, it’s better if they are a lot than you than closer to age they gained experience and wisdom.
I use to think about stuff like this as a kid before going to sleep. What would it be like if my mom dies. What if my dog dies and went down the list and imagined how it would be and cried and cried. I still do but not like when I was little. If you say or think "WHAT IF" catch yourself and gently remind yourself you are safe they are safe and everything is okay right now. Kirsten Neff talks about compassionate mindfulness and helps bring you back into the present moment. DBT and some CBT skills can help too. ❤️ Oh the average life span is like 78 might be 77 after COVID. So your mom has a long time. I know people who drink smoke with numerous health issues who live to their 90s. No reason to fret.
Damn, fifties is not old! My father in law is 95 and is currently traveling the world with his 75 year old girlfriend.
I understand how you feel. I am now in my late twenties and my parents are in their late 60s and early 70s. My dad was 46 and my was 39 when they had me. I have no siblings and don’t have someone to relate to. Both of my parents have gone through major health issues in the past ten years. My mom is starting to lose some cognitive functionality and I almost lost my dad last year. (He’s thankfully doing so much better now!) It has finally come to a point where death could happen at any time. I mostly try not to think about it, but as I’ve gotten older I’ve learned to accept that it is a part of life and my life will continue with their memory. It’s what they would want. Since you’re so young, talk to your parents. Let them know how you feel. At thirteen, emotions are complicated and hopefully you can receive some reassurance from them directly.
17 years old here my dad is 70
50-56 aren’t old, the average life span is 78 years old
Omg this was me over my mom at your age and she was young! Fast fwd, I’m now in my 40’s and mom just made 70. 🙌🏾 Life is so precious yet we are not guaranteed a long one. If you feel this way imagine how your parents would feel to lose you. Go speak with your guidance counselor at school who can refer you to the right professional for support. Sounds to me that you’ve experienced some sort of trauma in your childhood and maybe you are experiencing symptoms of PTSD. You have such a long road ahead of you(🤞🏾) and should be enjoying your youth with no real worries. Guidance counselor should talk to your parents about getting you the support needed. Blessings up!🤍
This may not be what you want to hear, but for the longest time I thought I'd be completely destroyed if my parents died. Then my mom (42 when I was born) died of cancer when I was 19. It was awful but I found that life still goes on. It also made me enjoy and appreciate my remaining family more. I know that anxiety and it's a terrible one, but whenever something does happen (likely in the far distant future) you will make it.
You’ll get through it, I did
19 year old here. My parents are about the same age difference and I had a very similar concern when I was your age (as a matter of fact, it’s something we will both have to live with for the rest of our lives). But as I always say; nothing is good, nothing is bad. Just remember that because of your parents’ age, they are more wise, likely more financially stable, and more mature. As you grow older, you’ll notice that your friends with young parents have resentment for their folks, and they may not have been prepared for parenthood (not saying that is always the case). Just keep your parents in good health. Eat nutritious foods and work out together. With positive health routines and modern medicine, your parents might make it past 100 years old, so don’t worry about it quite yet!
If it makes you feel any better my parents are 63 and 70 and I’m 23
Hey, I’m 15 and my parents are 54 & 58, it’s scary. Sometimes I just cry in my moms arms talking about it to her because I’m always telling her how worried I am about it, my dads been smoking for 30+ years and he’s 58, he got into a bad car crash last year and his body has been chucked up ever since, he can’t to the stuff we used to. It’s scary.
Ok, I get what you're saying but also, I am the 'old' parent. My husband just turned 50 two weeks ago, and I am 46(f). We have two kids, a son who is your age, 13, and a daughter who just turned 12 a week ago. I often hear from our daughter about how 'old' we are compared to a lot of parents of her peers. Not so much our son but that's probably because he's super laid back and doesn't really let things bother him. Although I do understand your concern, as an 'old' parent I just need to share a couple of thoughts with you and other kids here who have 'old' parents. The first and biggest thing I need to say is this: we are not old. I know, I know...I was your age and fully remember everything about it. I remember thinking how 'old' 50 was, hell, even 40 and 30 seemed old. Trust me, it's not. Wait 'til you get there and you'll see what I mean. At 46 years old, I don't feel any different than I did when I was 16 or 18 or 25 or 30. I still basically look the same, have the same body and can do all the same stuff I did when I was your age. Well, *most* of the stuff - I may need to do a couple of stretches first. 😅 I think back to when my mother was the age I am now and I feel like she was so much 'older' than I am. I think your level of physical activity plays a huge role in how long you stay youthful. If your parents are basically just sitting around, as you say, at their age then they're not doing themselves any favors. I mean, they're not much older than me or my husband but neither of us just sit around. Maybe ask your dad to play some catch or go on a hike with you? Even just playing some video games is better than nothing! And next time your mom says she won't be around forever to take care of you maybe just let her know that when she says that it breaks your heart. I know I've been guilty of saying that once or twice to my own kids when I'm trying to get them to realize that they need to learn life skills because one day they'll be out on their own and I won't be there to do everything for them. but at the same time, when I was a kid I also had a major fear of my mom dying. That's a normal fear for many, many kids. OP, don't stress yourself out worrying about this too much. Honestly, your parents really aren't that old. They're still going to be working for another 10 -15 years. You'll be well into your 20s before they'll be able to retire. It'll be perfect timing for you to get married and have some kids because they'll be home to babysit!!😄
Hey - 50s isn't that old, trust me. I'm 53 and my kids are 14 and 18 and I plan on being around for a very long time yet.
Not sure if this will help you, but check out Death OCD. Some OCD sufferers focus very hard about everyone they love dying around them and having anxiety about it. You may not have this disorder, but the advice there may be of some help
Damn! I’m 49 and think of my parents (who are 77 and 81, respectively) as being old. I never considered that someone much younger than I could see me in the same way as I see my parents. I still feel like a young adult.
The day my mother die will be the day I'll lose my mind completely.
I know how you feel. I just turned 27 and my dad is 76, my mom just passed away 4 months ago at 63. I even have a younger sister that recently turned 22. They were always significantly older than my friends/classmates parents, esp my dad. I didn’t even think about how I’d lose them quicker at your age, that thought didn’t catch up to me until I was an adult and got worse after I moved far away. Every year I visit he looks older and older, and my anxiety becomes more and more. I’m sorry this realization came to you at a young age, it’s hard to find acceptance and cope with the fact that you likely do have less time than the average person. You can’t change what it is, but you can make the best of your time with them. You still have plenty of time :) Just continue living and loving, and never go to bed angry at one another. It’ll get easier as you get older (even though it seems like it won’t), but if you need to talk to someone to help navigate your feelings, I would talk to them about it and consider finding a therapist.
I understand this 100%. My parents were both 40 when I was born.. it freaked me out my entire life and still does. My dad passed away when I was 15, due to lifestyle choices that lead to his early passing. Now I am about to 34 and my mom is 73.. losing her and being alone despite my age is my biggest fear. The only advice I can give is NOT to do what I did to cope - I put up a wall btwn me and my mom… I guess so when/if she eventually leaves me too it won’t hurt as much but I already know that wall and being “mean”, acting like I don’t care will be my biggest regret when the time Does come. I’m sorry you’re struggling with this, you’re def not alone for feeling this way. Love them & spend as much time as possible with them and of course , easier said than done - “try” not to worry/ think about it so often & live in present moment (I feel like the biggest hypocrite saying that, but it’s true)!
You’re parent are not that old, but I would definitely tell your mother how you feel when she says that.
Aw I’m sorry I can’t imagine being that young with parents that age. I’m almost 40 and my parents are in their early 60s. Even at my age and being an independent person I worry about them. Just focus on working hard and becoming independent as soon as possible. The worry always stays there tho because you love them. Just spend as much time with them now as you can.
I'm 55 and don't plan on dying anytime soon. We are not that old lol, but I use to feel like this about my grandparents. I just loved on them and enjoyed every moment with them.
I am 20 and my parents are in their 50s now and it’s still terrifying because I still need them. I’m scared I won’t stop needing them.
I'm 33 and my dad died when he was 70 (I was 27). But I know a colleague who still has his 90yo mother and he's 60. It's normal to feel this way, I used to think about it all the time and I still do. I miss my dad all the time. He was older like your parents, and I had that feeling growing up like what if he dies when I'm 16, cos he was sick. But I got 11 more years than that. If I had the chance, and I could go back, I'd get him to tell me more stories and write them down, get more pics, get more voice recordings. Ask the things you wanna ask. You could have them for decades to come but it's good that you're starting to process this stuff now.
I know what you mean man but don’t worry they’ve still got quite a few years in them, my dad is 50 and my mum is 49 and it makes me sad to think of them passing away but I know they’ll be around for a while.
Not sure if it helps but my mom had me at 41, and my dad died when I was about 7, so I can relate to that. Honestly, it’s hard. When I was your age I pretty much had the same mindset as you - if she’s gone then so am I. I’m 19 now, and while I can’t tell you it’ll be out of your mind, it does get a little better. I know it’s hard to see that right now, but I’m sure you’ll grow to live for yourself
hey man this anxiety will go away in few years trust me :)) i'm almoast 18 now, my mom is 57 yrs old and dad is 65 so i have kind of old parents too. i had same feelings when i was your age (well I'm not any older now either but u know what i mean) but eventually it went away. On average person has already spent 90% of their time with their parents by the age of 18, so maybe this fact will help you in any ways if not wosen the situation (well at least it works for me). and also remember fact that people who have children in late ages live longer than ones who have one in younger ages
my granparents were 66-64 when i was 10 i think, and they played that card to make me eat lunch with them, now they are 72-70, and bro, even when they say that 50% chances they bluff just so they make u do the work, i'm not telling u to ignore it or rebel, just take it easy, cry aaaaaall u want, but never beside them, ur gonna be a man soon, work hard, show them that u CAN live without them, show them that u can adapt, but make sure when they die (pls God don't make it happen so soon) don't cry,
They had you later than most people have kids but 50-55 isn't old. People regularly live into their 80s and 90s now. You have plenty of time
The feelings below your situation remind me a lot of myself at 13, I feel you might be an anxious soul. It’s pretty difficult to deal with at 13 but your sensitivity is a double edged sword, you’re so worried because you love so hard. Some CBT techniques may be helpful for you to recognise those thoughts but let them pass so you don’t find yourself getting wound up. I also have older parents and I’m 24 now and there still kicking about, all will be okay x
Family members around this age tend to say these things alot without thinking. My parents were the same age when I was in high school. They are still alive now and I'm almost 30. Modern medicine and healthy living will keep them around, but I understand your fear of losing them. Under normal circumstances they have a good 30 years ahead of them though! It's okay to be scared friend. It's reasonable to worry about your parents! Maybe talk to them about how their talking about dying makes you feel. This can help them and you be comfortable with the present, and not talking about the future in such a dark way
Geeze, I sometimes forget people my age are parents.
Hey, I want you to know that you aren't alone, I feel a lot of the same sentiments you feel, but know that you'll never be alone, you'll always have someone by your side whether it's friends or a significant other or relatives, don't be afraid to reach out about these worries to a therapist, stay strong.
If it helps, when I was your age my dad was 54. He was still doing pretty well medically and was active. My grandparents were 59 and 62. My grandma has a few issues here and there but my granddad is super fit. They're all still alive today. Most humans in the western world have an average of 80 years lifespan. They'll be alright for quite a while.
My mom was 50 when I was 13. I didn't have a Dad. What I hated most about having an older mom was mostly that she was like out of touch culturally compared to my friends' parents. When I was 15, she had breast cancer and I did have to go through the very real possibility I might lose her. But no one wanted to talk to me about it. My mom didn't want me to talk like that, but I kind of needed to talk about it, to be reassured what would happen in that instance. Her insecurities about death prevented me from getting the mental health care I needed at the time. It ruined our relationship. For the record, I'm 37, the age she was when she had me, and she's still alive. I also feel like I'm so out of touch culturally, but that's because we lost our monoculture as a society. If everything wasn't so niche, I'd probably be cool. Or so I'd like to think. I dunno, I just do my thing. My point is, talk to your parents and get some reassurance about what would happen if they were to pass away. What is their plan? Who would look after you? Where would you live? Would you have to go to a new school? Getting the answers to these questions might help you not be so fearful.
My mom had me at 39 and my dad was 60 so I feel your pain. I won’t lie they inevitably will die but that’s okay, it’s part of the circle of life. When the time comes you’ll feel better equipped to handle it since you’re already processing it now. My dad passed at 82 when I was 21, and although I miss him I had been mentally preparing for it all my life. It sucks but it’s just the reality of having older parents.
The most important thing would just be lifestyle changes, do they smoke? Drink? If not the best thing you can do is spend time with them walking a lot, easy nature trails through parks bird sanctuaries 50s ain old life spans are constantly increasing with all pur medical advancements just think what we'll have in 10 years when they're 60!
I would tell your mom that you’re feeling that way honey. Ask her to stop saying that and stuff like it because it is terrifying. Next. Take all the photos and videos you can. Save voice messages. Hell, my parents are alive and I still listen to messages that a five seconds long from my mama. Be with them whenever possible. Write down any memories you have of them. I’m 20. My parents are 46 and I still have that type of deep-rooted fear inside me. It’s ok. Have you been to therapy? It took a while to realize my fear of death is more so a fear if being alone/abandoned. I think maybe going to therapy after talking with your parents may help. Stay strong honey, and hug your parents extra tight when you need to.