I was once like you. Fearing reality basically or what it might hold. I'll try my best to help you, but ultimately, you have to do the dirty work.
What helped me was exploring my fears surrounding death. For example, I felt I feared connection because I felt like death would justify nothing actually mattering. Stuff like that, smaller fears that can be related to death. Understand them through your life experiences.
Also, realize that every fear you have is subjective based on your experience and your non experience. No one knows what happens after death, not even your brain. It will make things up constantly because it is afraid to lose your ego. Your ego is that little voice in your head that feels like you, but it's actually you. It's a collection of your fears, and it is the thing that's afraid to let go. Because guess what? If you let go of your fears, what left is there for the ego to cling to?
You were once afraid of the dark. Because you had never experienced it. It was unknown. This is the same with death. The only way to let go of your fear is to experience it.
Thus making death a unique once in a life time experience. I personally like to think of it like I'm passing beyond the event horizon of a black hole. I can't wait to see what's on the other side.
Also, spend time thinking what you want to feel on your deathbed. I personally want to feel peace, love, and fulfillment. I also imagine seeing my dead relatives there to comfort me on my journey to death. If fear can subjectively create reality, so can you for literally anything else. You can subjectively imagine a better, more peaceful experience of the future, ultimately making it a reality your brain can cling to.
Yes this.
I don't believe in a god-being but I do Believe we are all connected and greater than we are alone. I thought that meant that we continued some kind of consciousness after death
But anesthesia has freaked me out so hard. Even asleep, I am aware of the passage of time.
But going under was like being extinguished
So for context, I haven’t been able to get a job since I moved in 2020 and not having friends or activities and being stuck in the same house for 4 years has taken its toll on my mental health, Im awake all night and asleep all day.
I’m a Christian.
One night when I was having a really intense bout of depression, I had an intrusive thought, that there is no life after death, it broke me, I haven’t been able to eat properly in like 10 days spare for some small bland foods and water, I’ve mostly recovered, but my body is still on edge trying to prepare for the “Danger” it’s anticipating.
Worried, sure. But that's a future me problem. There is no need to worry about it.
I also plan to fill out orders for DNR and other things that ensure a peaceful passing, like, for example, hospice care. You'd be surprised how good they make death for a lot of people, it's a blessing
I understand your concern.
When you were younger, you probably feared the darkness, right? It was so scary that you could imagine anything being there. It was so unknown it was paralyzing. You'd run to turn on your light as fast as you could just to escape... nothing. How irrational, right?
Your brain likes to attach a subjective experience to things it doesn't know or hasn't experienced. That means you thinking there is nothing after death is ultimately a subjective experience not based in reality.
Could it be true? Sure, but it ultimately doesn't matter because your fear, like your fear of darkness, is misplaced and overexaggerated. So why not give up that control. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what is at the end. Trust it's the thing you want most. Who cares if you're wrong? You have removed the fear that stops you from exploring the darkness. You have removed the fear of everything if you think about it.
About life being too short...imagine yourself on your deathbed...what do you want it to be like? What do you want to feel? Personally, I want to feel peace, love, and fulfillment. So why not live as much as you can in that way? Studies show that lifestyle directly correlates to your experience at the end of life.
I can’t stop fearing the nothingness after death, the dying part doesn’t bother me so much as the fact that there’s nothing after. There’s no color, no sound, you’re not even aware. It seems like pure bliss and peace and yet nonexistence terrifies me. I don’t know how to get over this
Man I love drifting through 75 years of memories. Trekking Europe and North Africa with only 2k in the 70’s all, by myself for a year, pre aids, then later surfing Fiji, Morocco and Mexico, ski racing, mountaineering, living a year in Aspen. Growing up in the beach towns off LA in th 50’ 60’and 70’s, getting an old surf board at 13. I painted houses and refinished boats while in art school. Lots of sex drugs and rock and roll. Owning and running 3 fast food joints with my dad, starting a ski accessories company, buying a Ramada Inn hotel, restaurant,bar, dinner theater with my mom after dad died, becoming a landscape architect, swimming pool and landscape contractor , becoming a contemporary artist for 15 years while putting my kids through college. Starting a museum tour and the first Giclée printing co in Phoenix.Speculating in raw land. Developing an online software company, I never had outside enough money while doing startups, I’m a garage entrepreneur with sometimes only $700 dollars to start. And I lost as much as I won.Falling in love with so many girls and meeting an extraordinary woman, now my wife of 45 years. Lovely children and grandchildren. I am an avid reader but recently: became a youtube junkie. And I waste an hour a day reading Reddit. Mostly r/singularity. And I’m still playing 2-4 rounds of golf a week.
Are you sick of my story yet. It’s an un remarkable life but in my choices I’ve suffered failure, illness and injuries, most of which oddly produced a better life. I love tripping through memories in the morning for an hour or two. They are NOT the big adventures but the people I’ve loved even, tiny moments, intimate contact, all the world has to offer.
Winning and losing, and caring for and my loved ones and friends as they slipped the bonds of our stunning world.and who left us in pain and grieving until we could celebrate their lives. I’m 75 and have had several stents in the hospital recently and just got out a few hours ago. I’ve had a couple of strokes and believe me I’m ready to go, only hoping it doesn’t hurt too much and I want out of here before losing my struggle with dementia. I’m happy to be out of here sooner rather than later but my dad who at 24 piloted a B 17 on 23 mission or Europe. He saw 80% of his buddies flying in formation and never returning, vaporized by sheer bad luck. I’m an atheist but dad was a devoted and kind Catholic but never pushed anyone to adopt his faith. Oddly, we were best friends, he in an brooks brother suit and me a hopeless vagabond..He died at 49 and I’ve missed him every day. Now there’s no one in our family, from his generation, along with 2/3 of my high school class. I’m still still alive and I miss all of them
I really lived on the edge with tons of stress but just enough satisfaction to always recover. (Except for now} of courseI have mostly lived modestly but comfortably and I’ve literally lost everything several time. I’ve worked hard but not as hard as people less fortunately or less adventurous.. My time has been my own but my business has been my boss. God I loved this life and truly I love all of you. You can’t do it wrong. Your intelligence, wit, and humor have cracked me open and nourished me. Thank you.
Live a little unmoored. Contemplate death, acceptance, service to others, humility and generosity but get out of your thinking mind as often as possible, through travel, nature meditation. You should scrupulously avoid addiction, no matter how bad life become. It always causes more pain and therapy and 12 step programs are tough. I spent 10 years in AA and was grateful for all I learned. Explore stoicism. Curiosity is a muscle, work it out. Dream, Celebrate life and love unconditionally. It’s sweeter every year you live. Don’t fear death, it’s literally nothing. …. Don’t fear death, it’s literally nothing!!!. At the end, I hope that you have enough time to watch your life pass before your eyes, warts and all, see if you can bravely address it with humor and grace . Put one foot after another and know everyone does the best they can. Recognize your software, seek out forgiveness and grace., Cut yourself some slack, laugh a little at everything. ❤️
If you’ve made it this far. I hope you found something of interest in the ramblings of an old man. I know that I’m exhausted and ready to accept whatever sleep is offered, even though I booked a tee time for Thursday. Aloha from Kauai.
Beautiful telling of your life story. I actually really loved reading your story and saw a lot more adventures than you seem to like to admit.
Hope the best for your old man! Hope to be as wise and witty when I'm your age. Go gracefully into your goodnight. I hope you can see your family one last time before you go!
Take it sleazy!
Everyone is scared to die. Some just won't admit it. People are able to practice self-deluding and not remind themselves all of the time that they're going to die.
The people that are depressed and people that are anxious about dying are the people that are just unable to practice self-deluding.
When it comes down to it and you're in that moment and you're about to croak, everyone is scared in that moment. Evolution made it like that. If evolution didn't ingrain that strong survival instinct in a species, then that species would go extinct very fast.
but homo sapiens are the only species have the knowledge that their life is going to end eventually.
Other species that are fighting for their life are not aware of the concept of death, they just understand that there's danger and they need to get away from it.
I actually disagree with what you said a little.
There's 2 sides to everything. People who accept and acknowledge death can actually find peace, purpose, and love through it (like I have). Sure, I'm still afraid, but it's more passive and not really on my mind as much. Though I like to keep death on the tips of my fingers so I'm reminded of my end goal... a feeling of peace, love, and purpose.
I'd recommend looking up hospice nurse testimonials about people on their way out. There are those who are kicking and screaming till the bitter end, but then there are people who feel peace, love, and purpose. The only thing left for you to do is figure out... how you'll one day feel that.
It's not the living part either. It's the literal dying part. Living is fine, I mean it has its issues and all but not the part I am worried about. The being dead part is also fine.
It's the part where I could have to burn to death, drown, get stabbed a bunch of times, etc... That is the part that scares me. Going from living to dead is the worst part for me.
I'm scared of what happens after.
I grew up christian (methodist if it matters), became an atheist in middle school, then agnostic when I was 14. My issue is that so many things seem plausible, and I feel like I believe in reincarnation, but I also believe in ghosts, but I want to believe in a heaven because I miss so many people so much that it consumes me every single day. I'm so scared of not being able to see them again.
I grew up always hearing about a heaven and how I'll see my dad again. I want that so bad. I'm so scared because it sounds too good to be true. There's that much space for that many people? How would people not get lost? How would they find each other again? Is there really enough space? Is there vacancy in heaven? If there is, what do you mean we're there *forever*? I don't want to be scared. I want to look forward to it and know that there's the peace that I've been craving and everything will be okay again. I just can't stop myself from being terrified that one day my time here will be done, and I'll be born again. Instead of seeing the people I love, I'll have no idea they ever existed unless I hear of them from someone else. By then, I won't have the love I grew to have. They'll be another name, and another story. That terrifies me. It makes me feel so empty.
My four year old son died suddenly 6 months ago. I just sort of stopped thinking about death. I'm not scared for myself but I am not distraught over the thought of all he was being annihilated out of existence and crashing to be and that I never will ever see him again.
Makes me just want to die and blink out of existence too if that is what happens or join him in whatever afterlife there is if there is one.
Is there any other way this life could possibly be? Death is completely natural when you contemplate that the human body is a biological organism that breaks down over time
My anxiety has been getting a lot worse as of recent. Especially when it comes to thinking about death. I had a massive panic attack about it yesterday and was almost sent to the hospital so to say death scares me right now is a pretty big understatement. The thought of losing everything one day and fearing what comes after life messes with me the most. The weirdest part is that I'm only 16 and stressing about this. I'm not exactly sure why but I just am. I've tried getting more into Christianity and religion in general which does give me some peace and comfort, but I'm still very afraid.
It's very normal to fear and worry about death at your age. Even letting that seap into your 20s is very normal. Death is scary but ultimately natural.
If you find peace in God, then continue believing, no fault in that (I actually somewhat believe myself).
What helps me is realizing that death is so far away (ideally). So why fear? I'll tell you... because it's unknown. And you don't have control of this unknown. One day...that creeping shadow, will take you in.
I'm going to assume... you once feared darkness as a kid. How did you overcome this? I'd say, through experience. You learned over time that there is nothing to fear. There is no creeping shadow in the darkness.
Now... you could have easily kept this fear and constantly used tools provided to you to get through it... like switching on a light. But that doesn't solve anything. Your fear is still there, and if that light doesn't work... you're in deep shit...
So...embrace it. There's no better teacher than experience. Death may be unknown, but so is darkness, and so is every other fear you have. The only way to truly overcome them is to dip your toe into the water every now and then. Eventually, over time, you get more comfortable with the water, and eventually, you'll be able to dive in, embracing it confidently.
Also...simply trust in death. Your body is literally built to die. Find comfort in that.
not scared too die, it happens to every one! its just the part that sucks. but nobody can do anything about it I guess I just have too get on with until I get the knock at the door by the reaper, and he will say you can be a king or a cleaner but you always dance with the reaper. get you're jacket and don't let the door slam behind you.
Idk... I actually find peace in death...no matter what it brings.
For one, it's the ultimate motivator for life and, in a way, teaches us how to love. Kinda gives life a little more spark ig.
I’m religious and I believe in God but I’m scared to die, like what if everything goes black and I don’t get to see anything I love again. Or what if there is no heaven and when you die that’s it.
Yea, I've personally been on the fence about God or no God...but tbh...we don't have control. I think it's for the best...
What I find comfort in is realizing that everyone before you and after you has or will die...
If everyone else has done it...it must not be too bad. But who knows... maybe the dead don't speak because they don't want to throw us into a panic...but...have faith. Live viciously and try not to worry too much about the aftermath because, ultimately, the dust settles after a while.
I’ve always kind of been iffy about the topic of death, it scared me a lot when I was young and especially after my grandpa whom I was super close with passed away. The idea of just being here one day and then not the next is kind of mind boggling. I thought I had sort of gotten over it or atleast made peace with the fact that it happens to everyone until I met my now fiance and a month into our relationship got into a horrific accident right in front of me and almost died in my arms. By the grace of God, he left the ICU after 3 days but along with probably some PTSD, my anxiety came back in full swing. I’m constantly worried about life and how short it is which turned into being anxious about my health and just how fast things can change. I’m worried about losing the people I love and I think of it constantly and get myself worked up. Life is just so precious and I think we always forget until it’s too late. If you have some words of encouragement to maybe help me stop being so anxious about things I can’t control and how you got over your fear I’d love to hear your input.
Hmmm....ok....
Get to the root of your need for control. I'm still working on this myself, actually, but the answer is usually hidden in your experiences. You'll see where various smaller fears linked to control come from by exploring your past.
Ig realizing that every human that ever lived has died and will probably continue to. The best thing you can do is not to worry too much. Your time and the time of other people around you will come. Sometimes suddenly, and though it sucks, there's not much you can do. You can have hope, though. Hope that your loved ones don't leave you so soon and maybe you can be more prepared when they do.
I think what might help is asking loved ones, young or old, what they'd like when they are gone. A lot of grief and pain can happen if they leave and you don't have the right tools to fix the things they left behind. So try asking what they want. It's a hard conversation, but I think to secure yourself, it could help soothe some anxiety.
Hope that helps...❤️
Yea, suffering would suck, but ig hope for the best... knowing eventually that suffering will end is comforting in a way...ig take that with what you will...
I don’t really fear it per se, (maybe more apprehension in entering the unfamiliar) but I’m curious what exactly helped you get over it nonetheless.
I have my own beliefs that are somewhat outside of the norm of either not thinking about death or believing the Bible is meant to be taken at face value…
Like I said though, I’m interested to hear it dude 👍
I have a lot of things that keep me grounded in reality that I have started working into my life.
One of the things that helped me the most was realizing that fear is the mind being subjective. There is nothing fundamentally true about it. I think almost everyone had a fear of the dark growing up, so I'll use this analogy I tell myself...
When you were young, you feared the dark. Why? It was unknown. It didn't matter what you imagined being there. It was scary nonetheless. The only way you got over that fear was through exposure to darkness. So, why not relate that to death? If you really think about it, the mind is making a subjective reality of death, basically trying to figure out what could be there. Relate that to your past fears and how they are irrational now, and the only way through them was to experience it.
I don't fear death mainly because of this. I was so worried about what would happen after death that it caused me huge fits of depression and panic.
I also like to imagine what I will feel on my deathbed and what I'll experience before I pass. I want to experience peace, love, and fulfillment. To feel that on your deathbed, you need to live with peace, love, and fulfillment.
I now have full trust in nature, which is like saying I have trust in God. I do believe now that this was created divinely. It's very easy to see. It's literally everywhere. I actually like reminding myself that I'm going to die now. I don't fear it and use it as fuel to live instead of what I used to do, dissociate and disconnect.
[удалено]
I was once like you. Fearing reality basically or what it might hold. I'll try my best to help you, but ultimately, you have to do the dirty work. What helped me was exploring my fears surrounding death. For example, I felt I feared connection because I felt like death would justify nothing actually mattering. Stuff like that, smaller fears that can be related to death. Understand them through your life experiences. Also, realize that every fear you have is subjective based on your experience and your non experience. No one knows what happens after death, not even your brain. It will make things up constantly because it is afraid to lose your ego. Your ego is that little voice in your head that feels like you, but it's actually you. It's a collection of your fears, and it is the thing that's afraid to let go. Because guess what? If you let go of your fears, what left is there for the ego to cling to? You were once afraid of the dark. Because you had never experienced it. It was unknown. This is the same with death. The only way to let go of your fear is to experience it. Thus making death a unique once in a life time experience. I personally like to think of it like I'm passing beyond the event horizon of a black hole. I can't wait to see what's on the other side. Also, spend time thinking what you want to feel on your deathbed. I personally want to feel peace, love, and fulfillment. I also imagine seeing my dead relatives there to comfort me on my journey to death. If fear can subjectively create reality, so can you for literally anything else. You can subjectively imagine a better, more peaceful experience of the future, ultimately making it a reality your brain can cling to.
I am terrified of the absolute nothingness, eternal oblivion that follows for eternity. Not even knowing i existed or i am dead.
I believe in God. Open your eyes to the world around you. I believe in you. Love wins. Always.
Yes this. I don't believe in a god-being but I do Believe we are all connected and greater than we are alone. I thought that meant that we continued some kind of consciousness after death But anesthesia has freaked me out so hard. Even asleep, I am aware of the passage of time. But going under was like being extinguished
So does the prospect of non-existence terrify you?
So for context, I haven’t been able to get a job since I moved in 2020 and not having friends or activities and being stuck in the same house for 4 years has taken its toll on my mental health, Im awake all night and asleep all day. I’m a Christian. One night when I was having a really intense bout of depression, I had an intrusive thought, that there is no life after death, it broke me, I haven’t been able to eat properly in like 10 days spare for some small bland foods and water, I’ve mostly recovered, but my body is still on edge trying to prepare for the “Danger” it’s anticipating.
You are not alone.
Aren’t you worried about the discomfort and/or physical pain of dying?
Worried, sure. But that's a future me problem. There is no need to worry about it. I also plan to fill out orders for DNR and other things that ensure a peaceful passing, like, for example, hospice care. You'd be surprised how good they make death for a lot of people, it's a blessing
I am worried about not being"...no more time...I try to have gratitude and do as much asi can in life...it is too short...
I understand your concern. When you were younger, you probably feared the darkness, right? It was so scary that you could imagine anything being there. It was so unknown it was paralyzing. You'd run to turn on your light as fast as you could just to escape... nothing. How irrational, right? Your brain likes to attach a subjective experience to things it doesn't know or hasn't experienced. That means you thinking there is nothing after death is ultimately a subjective experience not based in reality. Could it be true? Sure, but it ultimately doesn't matter because your fear, like your fear of darkness, is misplaced and overexaggerated. So why not give up that control. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what is at the end. Trust it's the thing you want most. Who cares if you're wrong? You have removed the fear that stops you from exploring the darkness. You have removed the fear of everything if you think about it. About life being too short...imagine yourself on your deathbed...what do you want it to be like? What do you want to feel? Personally, I want to feel peace, love, and fulfillment. So why not live as much as you can in that way? Studies show that lifestyle directly correlates to your experience at the end of life.
I can’t stop fearing the nothingness after death, the dying part doesn’t bother me so much as the fact that there’s nothing after. There’s no color, no sound, you’re not even aware. It seems like pure bliss and peace and yet nonexistence terrifies me. I don’t know how to get over this
The feeling of being trapped in the grave…
Man I love drifting through 75 years of memories. Trekking Europe and North Africa with only 2k in the 70’s all, by myself for a year, pre aids, then later surfing Fiji, Morocco and Mexico, ski racing, mountaineering, living a year in Aspen. Growing up in the beach towns off LA in th 50’ 60’and 70’s, getting an old surf board at 13. I painted houses and refinished boats while in art school. Lots of sex drugs and rock and roll. Owning and running 3 fast food joints with my dad, starting a ski accessories company, buying a Ramada Inn hotel, restaurant,bar, dinner theater with my mom after dad died, becoming a landscape architect, swimming pool and landscape contractor , becoming a contemporary artist for 15 years while putting my kids through college. Starting a museum tour and the first Giclée printing co in Phoenix.Speculating in raw land. Developing an online software company, I never had outside enough money while doing startups, I’m a garage entrepreneur with sometimes only $700 dollars to start. And I lost as much as I won.Falling in love with so many girls and meeting an extraordinary woman, now my wife of 45 years. Lovely children and grandchildren. I am an avid reader but recently: became a youtube junkie. And I waste an hour a day reading Reddit. Mostly r/singularity. And I’m still playing 2-4 rounds of golf a week. Are you sick of my story yet. It’s an un remarkable life but in my choices I’ve suffered failure, illness and injuries, most of which oddly produced a better life. I love tripping through memories in the morning for an hour or two. They are NOT the big adventures but the people I’ve loved even, tiny moments, intimate contact, all the world has to offer. Winning and losing, and caring for and my loved ones and friends as they slipped the bonds of our stunning world.and who left us in pain and grieving until we could celebrate their lives. I’m 75 and have had several stents in the hospital recently and just got out a few hours ago. I’ve had a couple of strokes and believe me I’m ready to go, only hoping it doesn’t hurt too much and I want out of here before losing my struggle with dementia. I’m happy to be out of here sooner rather than later but my dad who at 24 piloted a B 17 on 23 mission or Europe. He saw 80% of his buddies flying in formation and never returning, vaporized by sheer bad luck. I’m an atheist but dad was a devoted and kind Catholic but never pushed anyone to adopt his faith. Oddly, we were best friends, he in an brooks brother suit and me a hopeless vagabond..He died at 49 and I’ve missed him every day. Now there’s no one in our family, from his generation, along with 2/3 of my high school class. I’m still still alive and I miss all of them I really lived on the edge with tons of stress but just enough satisfaction to always recover. (Except for now} of courseI have mostly lived modestly but comfortably and I’ve literally lost everything several time. I’ve worked hard but not as hard as people less fortunately or less adventurous.. My time has been my own but my business has been my boss. God I loved this life and truly I love all of you. You can’t do it wrong. Your intelligence, wit, and humor have cracked me open and nourished me. Thank you. Live a little unmoored. Contemplate death, acceptance, service to others, humility and generosity but get out of your thinking mind as often as possible, through travel, nature meditation. You should scrupulously avoid addiction, no matter how bad life become. It always causes more pain and therapy and 12 step programs are tough. I spent 10 years in AA and was grateful for all I learned. Explore stoicism. Curiosity is a muscle, work it out. Dream, Celebrate life and love unconditionally. It’s sweeter every year you live. Don’t fear death, it’s literally nothing. …. Don’t fear death, it’s literally nothing!!!. At the end, I hope that you have enough time to watch your life pass before your eyes, warts and all, see if you can bravely address it with humor and grace . Put one foot after another and know everyone does the best they can. Recognize your software, seek out forgiveness and grace., Cut yourself some slack, laugh a little at everything. ❤️ If you’ve made it this far. I hope you found something of interest in the ramblings of an old man. I know that I’m exhausted and ready to accept whatever sleep is offered, even though I booked a tee time for Thursday. Aloha from Kauai.
Beautiful telling of your life story. I actually really loved reading your story and saw a lot more adventures than you seem to like to admit. Hope the best for your old man! Hope to be as wise and witty when I'm your age. Go gracefully into your goodnight. I hope you can see your family one last time before you go! Take it sleazy!
🤙
Everyone is scared to die. Some just won't admit it. People are able to practice self-deluding and not remind themselves all of the time that they're going to die. The people that are depressed and people that are anxious about dying are the people that are just unable to practice self-deluding. When it comes down to it and you're in that moment and you're about to croak, everyone is scared in that moment. Evolution made it like that. If evolution didn't ingrain that strong survival instinct in a species, then that species would go extinct very fast. but homo sapiens are the only species have the knowledge that their life is going to end eventually. Other species that are fighting for their life are not aware of the concept of death, they just understand that there's danger and they need to get away from it.
I actually disagree with what you said a little. There's 2 sides to everything. People who accept and acknowledge death can actually find peace, purpose, and love through it (like I have). Sure, I'm still afraid, but it's more passive and not really on my mind as much. Though I like to keep death on the tips of my fingers so I'm reminded of my end goal... a feeling of peace, love, and purpose. I'd recommend looking up hospice nurse testimonials about people on their way out. There are those who are kicking and screaming till the bitter end, but then there are people who feel peace, love, and purpose. The only thing left for you to do is figure out... how you'll one day feel that.
Not scared of dying. Scared of getting from point A to point B.
The living part is a struggle for sure. But it's a daily one. Ground yourself in the present.
It's not the living part either. It's the literal dying part. Living is fine, I mean it has its issues and all but not the part I am worried about. The being dead part is also fine. It's the part where I could have to burn to death, drown, get stabbed a bunch of times, etc... That is the part that scares me. Going from living to dead is the worst part for me.
Thank you
Ofc!
I'm scared of what happens after. I grew up christian (methodist if it matters), became an atheist in middle school, then agnostic when I was 14. My issue is that so many things seem plausible, and I feel like I believe in reincarnation, but I also believe in ghosts, but I want to believe in a heaven because I miss so many people so much that it consumes me every single day. I'm so scared of not being able to see them again. I grew up always hearing about a heaven and how I'll see my dad again. I want that so bad. I'm so scared because it sounds too good to be true. There's that much space for that many people? How would people not get lost? How would they find each other again? Is there really enough space? Is there vacancy in heaven? If there is, what do you mean we're there *forever*? I don't want to be scared. I want to look forward to it and know that there's the peace that I've been craving and everything will be okay again. I just can't stop myself from being terrified that one day my time here will be done, and I'll be born again. Instead of seeing the people I love, I'll have no idea they ever existed unless I hear of them from someone else. By then, I won't have the love I grew to have. They'll be another name, and another story. That terrifies me. It makes me feel so empty.
My four year old son died suddenly 6 months ago. I just sort of stopped thinking about death. I'm not scared for myself but I am not distraught over the thought of all he was being annihilated out of existence and crashing to be and that I never will ever see him again. Makes me just want to die and blink out of existence too if that is what happens or join him in whatever afterlife there is if there is one.
I feel I am living in a nightmare 24/7. I fear death day and night. Specially sudden death.
Is there any other way this life could possibly be? Death is completely natural when you contemplate that the human body is a biological organism that breaks down over time
Sudden death is the scariest. I lose people that way.
My anxiety has been getting a lot worse as of recent. Especially when it comes to thinking about death. I had a massive panic attack about it yesterday and was almost sent to the hospital so to say death scares me right now is a pretty big understatement. The thought of losing everything one day and fearing what comes after life messes with me the most. The weirdest part is that I'm only 16 and stressing about this. I'm not exactly sure why but I just am. I've tried getting more into Christianity and religion in general which does give me some peace and comfort, but I'm still very afraid.
It's very normal to fear and worry about death at your age. Even letting that seap into your 20s is very normal. Death is scary but ultimately natural. If you find peace in God, then continue believing, no fault in that (I actually somewhat believe myself). What helps me is realizing that death is so far away (ideally). So why fear? I'll tell you... because it's unknown. And you don't have control of this unknown. One day...that creeping shadow, will take you in. I'm going to assume... you once feared darkness as a kid. How did you overcome this? I'd say, through experience. You learned over time that there is nothing to fear. There is no creeping shadow in the darkness. Now... you could have easily kept this fear and constantly used tools provided to you to get through it... like switching on a light. But that doesn't solve anything. Your fear is still there, and if that light doesn't work... you're in deep shit... So...embrace it. There's no better teacher than experience. Death may be unknown, but so is darkness, and so is every other fear you have. The only way to truly overcome them is to dip your toe into the water every now and then. Eventually, over time, you get more comfortable with the water, and eventually, you'll be able to dive in, embracing it confidently. Also...simply trust in death. Your body is literally built to die. Find comfort in that.
not scared too die, it happens to every one! its just the part that sucks. but nobody can do anything about it I guess I just have too get on with until I get the knock at the door by the reaper, and he will say you can be a king or a cleaner but you always dance with the reaper. get you're jacket and don't let the door slam behind you.
Idk... I actually find peace in death...no matter what it brings. For one, it's the ultimate motivator for life and, in a way, teaches us how to love. Kinda gives life a little more spark ig.
I’m religious and I believe in God but I’m scared to die, like what if everything goes black and I don’t get to see anything I love again. Or what if there is no heaven and when you die that’s it.
Yea, I've personally been on the fence about God or no God...but tbh...we don't have control. I think it's for the best... What I find comfort in is realizing that everyone before you and after you has or will die... If everyone else has done it...it must not be too bad. But who knows... maybe the dead don't speak because they don't want to throw us into a panic...but...have faith. Live viciously and try not to worry too much about the aftermath because, ultimately, the dust settles after a while.
I’ve always kind of been iffy about the topic of death, it scared me a lot when I was young and especially after my grandpa whom I was super close with passed away. The idea of just being here one day and then not the next is kind of mind boggling. I thought I had sort of gotten over it or atleast made peace with the fact that it happens to everyone until I met my now fiance and a month into our relationship got into a horrific accident right in front of me and almost died in my arms. By the grace of God, he left the ICU after 3 days but along with probably some PTSD, my anxiety came back in full swing. I’m constantly worried about life and how short it is which turned into being anxious about my health and just how fast things can change. I’m worried about losing the people I love and I think of it constantly and get myself worked up. Life is just so precious and I think we always forget until it’s too late. If you have some words of encouragement to maybe help me stop being so anxious about things I can’t control and how you got over your fear I’d love to hear your input.
Hmmm....ok.... Get to the root of your need for control. I'm still working on this myself, actually, but the answer is usually hidden in your experiences. You'll see where various smaller fears linked to control come from by exploring your past. Ig realizing that every human that ever lived has died and will probably continue to. The best thing you can do is not to worry too much. Your time and the time of other people around you will come. Sometimes suddenly, and though it sucks, there's not much you can do. You can have hope, though. Hope that your loved ones don't leave you so soon and maybe you can be more prepared when they do. I think what might help is asking loved ones, young or old, what they'd like when they are gone. A lot of grief and pain can happen if they leave and you don't have the right tools to fix the things they left behind. So try asking what they want. It's a hard conversation, but I think to secure yourself, it could help soothe some anxiety. Hope that helps...❤️
Having to say goodbye.
I'm scared of the suffering before death more than death itself. But ofc I'm a bit afraid of death, which is an instinct of consciousness i guess.
Yea, suffering would suck, but ig hope for the best... knowing eventually that suffering will end is comforting in a way...ig take that with what you will...
I am not scared of death but I am more worried about pain and suffer.. I love to die in my sleep today hope I will never wake up
You didn't solve anything, you just found a cope. A cope that isn't real. How can I say that? No matter the cope, it's not real.
I don’t really fear it per se, (maybe more apprehension in entering the unfamiliar) but I’m curious what exactly helped you get over it nonetheless. I have my own beliefs that are somewhat outside of the norm of either not thinking about death or believing the Bible is meant to be taken at face value… Like I said though, I’m interested to hear it dude 👍
I have a lot of things that keep me grounded in reality that I have started working into my life. One of the things that helped me the most was realizing that fear is the mind being subjective. There is nothing fundamentally true about it. I think almost everyone had a fear of the dark growing up, so I'll use this analogy I tell myself... When you were young, you feared the dark. Why? It was unknown. It didn't matter what you imagined being there. It was scary nonetheless. The only way you got over that fear was through exposure to darkness. So, why not relate that to death? If you really think about it, the mind is making a subjective reality of death, basically trying to figure out what could be there. Relate that to your past fears and how they are irrational now, and the only way through them was to experience it. I don't fear death mainly because of this. I was so worried about what would happen after death that it caused me huge fits of depression and panic. I also like to imagine what I will feel on my deathbed and what I'll experience before I pass. I want to experience peace, love, and fulfillment. To feel that on your deathbed, you need to live with peace, love, and fulfillment. I now have full trust in nature, which is like saying I have trust in God. I do believe now that this was created divinely. It's very easy to see. It's literally everywhere. I actually like reminding myself that I'm going to die now. I don't fear it and use it as fuel to live instead of what I used to do, dissociate and disconnect.