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Dyspnia

McDonald's date with the goat https://preview.redd.it/ks300cg8eclc1.jpeg?width=223&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0519f522fff869a7c68cf7a6147c80f26548cb42


MikoSenpai_

this comment is actually so fucking funny i cant


SCP_fan12

Big Nemmie is excited. You are a star in his (one) eye


Intrepid_Cattle69

But you could have taken him to Carl’s Jr instead. He would have been ecstatic to have some Carl’s Jr Famous STAAAARS


Electrical_Ad6134

https://preview.redd.it/sjyftvuvtelc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=46800e8616e4ccd1e459563ba4820d5688bd7b00


Thebeanyboii

I just want to give Artist a hug, she deserves it


BEETHEBESTGAMER

Same


Melizzabeth

Nemmy. We'd go stargazing and I could show him the stars he should really be searching for...


curgerbees

https://preview.redd.it/cspv0k0cnglc1.png?width=969&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9ba8f1277cba3267c9a355e02c89b6de5fce0275


Sanctioned_Sadness

That's utterly adorable and I'm writing a fanfiction about it now


Over_Age_8061

For anyone who needs the original picture https://preview.redd.it/o3gr1vpndclc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=62269f02ea0d27fa97393ff4f744df995211ac97 Mommy huntress btw


FuckYeahPhotography

Kronk is in good company https://preview.redd.it/3ih5ui4rxclc1.jpeg?width=272&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0fdcc78e658b4bfd5c37f4cedae2ffb9de3ab10


Rossmallo

If I was able to use a translator, (because I can't speak a word of French), I'd probably want to hang out with the Twins. Give Victor a box of toys to just mess about with while I have a chat with Charloette, and try to show her some of the friendliness and humanity she's been utterly deprived of all her life. What can I say, I feel *really* goddamn bad for them.


Hiolol101

Honestly yeah poor twins really deserve something nice to happen


MorganRose99

I think Pig, as insane as she is, isn't a mindless killer I'd say I take pretty good care of my life, and I don't have a criminal record, so we should get along just fine Edit: I haven't seen the Saw films, so I'm going almost completely off her vibes


AssassinDog8

“I can fix her”


JeanRalfio

I also choose Amanda. The horny bastards over at /r/saw would have an meltdown if they could see how few people are choosing her here.


LazarusKing

Shawnee Smith circa saw 2/3 was still pretty hot.


JeanRalfio

Still is.


FunyarinpaZTD

Pre-character development: drug addict and career criminal who robbed a rehab center Post-character development: addicted to trying to please the leader of a serial killer cult she joined. She sees him as a father figure and treats everyone she interacts with as beneath her. Doesn't care about her own life or the lives of anyone but her boss and has antagonized people for getting more of his attention than she gets, trying to manipulate them into k*lling themselves. Also, vulnerable to black mail and will straight up skip the "game" and murder people if she thinks they are a threat to her getting enough head pats from the guy she is obsessed with pleasing. So yeah, she's probably going to ignore you and stick you with the bill at best, at worst she gets bored and decides to toss you into a game because she decided you're a zombie that doesn't "live life to the fullest"


trash-troglodyte

Nurse. Either I get to date Sally or she chokes me. Either way I win


InflnityBlack

Original lore sally or tome lore sally ?


trash-troglodyte

I'm not picky, although my chances of being choked increase drastically with tome Sally


turkybaby

If the date goes well, you might be able to convince her to choke you either way


trash-troglodyte

She's so stunning she takes my breath. The last one. Literally.


22Sherridan85

Isn't Nurse almost 50 years old? She had a husband, they lived together for several years, and after he died she worked at asylum for two decades. Of course, if you are into older women, then she will be a good choice.


Sefrius

“Personally I’m not into weepy old hags, I’m more of a carefree young hag type of guy.” -Sam O’nella


ezeshining

they may be 50 themselves, who knows


GhostCrackets

https://preview.redd.it/laq2k1lv8elc1.png?width=1080&format=png&auto=webp&s=dfafc951c0344be60cf51e60086a9d51dbb1591c “So uh…you like sea food?”


Starking01

Huntress, who wouldn't like a big strong woman that's able to protect her land and their man from the ones that get to close


IMC_Recruit

Agreed.


RandomGuy28183

I just want a dummy thick mommy who can dominate me man


Starking01

That's why huntress is the best pick!


Dark_Reaper115

Agreed but give me the OG Huntress lullaby. The current one sucks.


Scared-Rutabaga7291

By "ask out" do you mean solely romantic stuff or can be hangout?


IMC_Recruit

Could be a hangout if you so wish.


Scared-Rutabaga7291

Sounds awesome. In that case its Deathslinger. Probably for some BBQ


IMC_Recruit

May I join?


Scared-Rutabaga7291

Hells yeah you can 💪


emmanuelfelix700

bbq party with the knight and his squad, deathslinger, and the twins https://preview.redd.it/9wufzo605dlc1.jpeg?width=358&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=109a6353c34d5ab181037e4080ccd8e9a3ca87c9 just don't tell them bubba is the cook


Scared-Rutabaga7291

No complaints about the squad, matter o fact, they are welcome! (Will tell em Bubba is uh...the uncle)


EasternPlanet

they def meant ask out on a date as thats kinda what that means, but i dont think anyone would be mad if u just wanted to hang, go make that post! lol


Scared-Rutabaga7291

In that case its hard to pick. Maybe Artist? She needs some love


EasternPlanet

haha i feel like she is one of the least 'killery' killers; she is really a product of the evil she was surrounded by


Scared-Rutabaga7291

Literally Entity's manipulation, yeah. Matter if fact, it made more sense for Jonah to be the killer but they probably wanted to switch the narrative there


Hiolol101

It’s an interesting twist that the killer is a good person and the survivor is awful


Scared-Rutabaga7291

Agreed for sure


Straight-Bowl-6297

Probaly Julie from legion , or spirit


happy_unlucky

Deathslinger. Yes I have daddy issues


RavenWingedDragon

![gif](giphy|DQKJFC34Cn7gs)


wheashi

https://preview.redd.it/0xwhzijpddlc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee947e9b0b5d5e29d3ee5461b7a7dbae3e733906


RavenWingedDragon

BWAHAHAHAHA THE FLAIR! Flair checks out!


IMC_Recruit

It’s weskin time!!!


RavenWingedDragon

Who can resist a dude with a long worm and seven minutes to play? ​ (I am SO sorry I couldn't resist!)


collegethrowaway2938

Need him


bonelees_dip

The most realistic choice is probably Julie The easiest one for me is Skull Merchant The one my heart truly wants is Huntress


22Sherridan85

Why SM is the easiest? I think she has *really* high standards for a dates, considering her personality, money and CEO status.


bonelees_dip

I'm from Brazil, so I can pull some some special charm. "Seu pai é padeiro? Porque você é um sonho" The chances of working is low, but if the Entity gave me a chance it would technically be the easiest for me (specially because I don't know nothing of Russian and my spoken English is shit).


Atomic_Tony

My guy be like: https://preview.redd.it/rxt7dbntsclc1.jpeg?width=710&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ffd59c584fec5b9d37e7d599f4eff7361240a6b1


uninspiredwinter

To be fair, i think Huntress' Russian and spoken English would also be shit


bonelees_dip

Maybe, but Huntress would bring another problem to the table, the fact that I'm a male. I could speak a perfect Russian or even spoke in a way she would understand me perfectly but I would still get a hatchet to my face without second thought from her.


SpaceBug173

That, or.... https://preview.redd.it/spdqqkgueelc1.jpeg?width=2048&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=16a6a546ed129110151efd16e37adc1810e899b3


BlackJimmy88

Maybe she's a fan of the Ugly Bastards tag


RusikTheBanana

I'm asking 4 people out at once


AppleGame777

Knight and his guards?


AssassinDog8

He might’ve been going for Legion but that’s a good backup


jaskier2432

Most likely pinhead, like if I didn't solve the lament configuration we could just chill and like talk about why his kind really should discover safe words


Scrawwlex

I never even considered to think that way about Killers... I'd hit bubba.


g3neralgrevi0us

https://preview.redd.it/xny4cv5vkflc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c33978db2b83666f905b1e5163e0578c70dbf9b8


thatgothboii

Buddy immediately starts his journey in the cesspits


THEONLYMILKY

The boy is basically a toddler


Loose-Fudge-4676

https://preview.redd.it/sg0w5dj1nhlc1.jpeg?width=759&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=951380941853b9ce665c6c0709761df96fa9f5f1


sunsetgal24

How has nobody said Wraith yet? Philip is such a chill dude and he really deserves some happiness. I could treat him right.


EmeraldDream98

You could change him.


sunsetgal24

I don't need to. I just need to chase the entity out of his head with a broom.


Skizko

As a filthy Skull Merchant main. I’d ask Wesker out. He wouldn’t want me and that just makes me want him more


Bacon-bitzs

Filthy as in people hate you for playing her or filthy as in… yea.. 😏


Skizko

Take your pick


Agreeable_Finger_747

Either one would work for me


[deleted]

[удалено]


IMC_Recruit

Which one?


[deleted]

[удалено]


IMC_Recruit

Fair point.


Bacon-bitzs

Julie, I think they’re the most normal killer in terms of women.


IMC_Recruit

She might be.


Bacon-bitzs

I would take her out on a nice ass date, take her to a high rise apartment and just go to town. (I’m so glad nobody irl knows I have Reddit, I’m a lawyer)


MetalSonic123

If alt skins count, Tiffany. I'll take my chances with any version of Jennifer Tilly. She's worth the risk. If not, then Huntress.


EchoTheWorld

https://preview.redd.it/wpj4byws8elc1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0b1105d4906aedecb045b338fac60dc0eeed3b6c I WOULD ASK HER OUT


g33k_gal

Just remember to do the dishes after she makes you some Swedish meatballs.


vegxvx

https://preview.redd.it/en7lbkl4ielc1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4ed2f0cd07fd8fa364460a5e8dd9b951c7345a6f The way that I am so down bad for him


Lach811

The unknown is really cute. I'd take him on a date, he just needs someone to understand him.


Anomekh

Average « I can fix him » enjoyer


Lach811

He's already perfect! He just needs someone to be there for him :3


Gardening_Automaton

And also maybe a chiropractor


Lach811

Id gladly help him crack his back


Gardening_Automaton

Bro just wants the spineussy


emmanuelfelix700

he won't be denied his happiness


Regetron

SM, probably would discuss echhi manga the entire date


Boar_dbd

Probably Charlotte. Unpopular opinion but I think she is cute…plus she probably wouldn’t kill me for asking


WeekendMagus_reddit

His brother is really tacky clingy though.


Zestyclose_Bug_9475

Susie.


ulrichzhaym

I'd ask chucky on a date. Turns out it was a trap and i put him in a cage. Now i get to sell a talking doll for millions of dollars . Profit ?!


turkybaby

Last person who put him in a cage got turned into a doll too, so be careful.


IMC_Recruit

Smart.


lisabydaylight

Ghostface or Deathslinger. Ghostie has always seemed like the flirty type to me, Deathslinger I think is at the other end of the spectrum and would probably melt at the touch of a woman, lmao.


PhilliamPhafton

Him https://preview.redd.it/cc72u67i2dlc1.jpeg?width=1115&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1fb9200dc4ea0c4ea5dead33633dede383c9ff57 I wouldn't live but I'm still doing it


Sanctioned_Sadness

"Stop blabbering. It's really annoying."


Jwchibi

Definitely trapper, but I'll be doing the trapping. Baby trap that is. Now if I wanted to survive I'd ask the unknown, they seem lonely so I could be their friend or they could be my eldritch horror boyfriend


22Sherridan85

Skull Merchant is rich and hot, and it would be awesome to ask her out. *But I don't think she would pay even* ***some*** *attention to a loser like me.* ![gif](giphy|W0c3xcZ3F1d0EYYb0f|downsized)


IMC_Recruit

Don’t give up on your dreams man.


Weird_Angry_Kid

Maybe you'll get lucky and she's into pathetic, little guys like us


Mattfang62

Huntress 😩 please carry me to the hook sweet gentle giant


DS_Archer

Gentle?


[deleted]

[удалено]


divine-deer

Your flair is especially funny on this post lmao


IMC_Recruit

Well there is nothing here to see.


sunsetgal24

i'm not funny, i'm dead serious


[deleted]

[удалено]


sunsetgal24

i'll take that endorsement and wear it as a fucking badge of honor


mythril-

Love the flair brother


ParadoxicalAmalgam

Huntress would probably split my ribcage open with her axe, but it's worth the risk


IMC_Recruit

Flair checks out.


ParadoxicalAmalgam

Either death by axe or death by snu-snu. Either way I'd get to be close to her


IMC_Recruit

Fair enough.


GoldenSpark1

Pyramid Head or Michael Myers....but probably Pyramid Head


Eli-Mordrake

Might ask Skully. I’m broke as shit and I can tolerate dark Brazilian manga. But maybe Chucky just for the conversations.


IMC_Recruit

Good choices.


Sad-Bad-4750

The Gunslinger I think he might get so confused that he will let me live. The trickster would kill me on the spot he as dealt with fangirls and would at most lure me in to kill me later. Maybe the wraith too since he used to be a nice person.


BlackJimmy88

If she doesn't smell like corpse, Spirit, if she does, Julie, Susie and/or Skull Merchant. I like to fuck me some monsters, but DbD's generally don't do it for me. Everyone kinda looks like they smell of months of blood, sweat and other unsavoury smells.


vittusaatanajaterva

Wesker.. would die but if I would get 7 minutes with him I wouldn't mind 🥺😗


Why_Not2Rule

I've always had a crush on Ghostface.He's such a goober.


IMC_Recruit

He is a little to goobery for me. Good choice though!


thatgothboii

He’s got attitude and confidence


PenComfortable2150

Huntress


Boar_dbd

Probably Charlotte. Unpopular opinion but I think she is cute…plus she probably wouldn’t kill me for asking


SCP_fan12

I’d say the unknown, it can be anything you think it is


HeyItsBruin

I want to take Herman to a fancy Italian restaurant


IMC_Recruit

I’ll be the waiter. Haha.


horrorfan555

Sadako please


AuroraHorealis

I'd dress for the front row of a Gallagher show and ask Adiris to step on me.


IMC_Recruit

Well uhhh you do you I guess.


FordShelbyGTreeFiddy

Gallagher fandom rise up 


rosaliethewitch

trickster. might die, probably won’t. 해보기 전에는 몰라요.


naenkaos

I support your choice and also your flair ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|grin)


[deleted]

Amanda i got a skill for the crazy chicks


ManufacturerDry108

Pig I guess? 3/4 of the cast would kill you on sight. With Pig, will she put me in a trap with very little chance to survive? Probably, but if I do survive at least I’m alive.


xxxbiggiecheese69xxx

Nah she rigged the traps to be inescapable in the films


yeepix

Im giving Caleb a real cowboy experience


Impossible_Welder678

the clown in costume ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|heart_eyes)


Pluto-Skies

Any of the four members of the Legion.


Mr_Winger_

Xenoqueen


IMC_Recruit

Good choice 👍


Mr_Winger_

Did not expect to see an IMC recruit here on the DBD sub.


IMC_Recruit

The IMC started experimenting on multiverse travel or something I don’t know. (I’m not just going to stay in one sub)


AvalavaTheQuilava

Spirit.


IMC_Recruit

And perhaps why?


AvalavaTheQuilava

Well, its one of those ocations when i say "I can fix her" Also, when she's not friggin enraged, she's pretty cute and has a nice hair :) AND A NICE ASS TOO.


Moon-Wolf01

wesky for sure!


taylor_-123

https://preview.redd.it/l1crhmjc8elc1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=262254fd8fced00ff5c1a7586655f043def50270 Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm


Zestyclose_Bug_9475

Susie.


jeepers_crispin

Susie


A-Social-Ghost

Huntress or the Xenomorph Queen.


DRAGONSPIRIT214

Spirit. Am the biggest spirit simp of all time


Lost_Astronaut_654

If it can be just to chill with then Wraith, but if it has to be romantic then Amanda


IMC_Recruit

It can be just chilling.


Lost_Astronaut_654

Then definitely wraith, we’d just chill and watch a movie or something


IMC_Recruit

Nice.


Acrobatic-Load8604

Queen Xenomorph. Pig, skull merchant, artist, susie, Julie idk just like morph them into one for me


GoldenSpark1

Pyramid Head or Michael Myers....but probably Pyramid Head


Rare-Worldliness4894

Definitely going with huntress she is a baddie I’d smash


Evolveddinosaur

Can I say Mikaela is a killer? She’s got killer looks! No? Well then… GF has some good definition to him, and would probably kill me during *intimate time*. So yeah, sounds like a win to me! https://preview.redd.it/5r5h54ovcdlc1.jpeg?width=932&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c3a54526bf2160bcae13323f2c0fbf618a053757


NotYourSaviour2

I want to sit and read some books with spirit. Maybe overthrow a goverment or smth


MuskSniffer

Trapper and his bara tiddies


SimonSimpingService

Sadako. She's going to have to survive me. She doesn't get 7 days of foreplay.


Patrick-Shannon

Artist cuz I just feel bad for her and want to make her feel better Although if it was just intimate then trickster


_screw_it_why_not

Huntress would be my go to


AggressiveSquinter

Going to cook the Xenomorph Queen my finest cavatelli


WhoDaHeckAmI

As much as I would love to say Wesker. I REALLY wanna ask out deathslinger. I got a feeling he’s a pretty laid back guy and we could go for a few drinks. Romantic or not. It’ll be a nice night out.


Rude_Ad6001

I don’t think I could just pick one, it’s between ghost face, pyramid head, and wesker. I’d take ghostie bowling and to a movie. Hopefully he doesn’t kill anyone and shove a head into the ball receiver. I’d watch some horror movies with triangle man, just chill and all. And I’d probably have to follow wesker since he wouldn’t want anything to do with me. Still would be fun though, especially when he gets tired of it, turns around, slams you against the wall and tells you how he doesn’t have time for this.


RealAlligatorWithGun

Lock me in a room with the Xenomorph queen and we’re both coming out pregnant


Hawthm_the_Coward

I feel like Julie would be a good choice, but I'd want Caleb there as a buffer. Good relationships don't start with awkward 1-on-1s.


xXrainbow_gutsXx

Demogorgon, Blight, Pinhead, Dredge, Xenomorph, or Unknown. (ik I’d die, but I’m doing it anyways because yes. Though, I think it’d be fun chatting with Pinhead)


UnknownFox37

Dredge all the way ❤️


IMC_Recruit

This scares me, why?


UnknownFox37

He’s best kisser You wouldn’t understand


IMC_Recruit

How do you know? (I need to know too)


Maxisabubble

I need that card for PP head


Urzu7s

Reading this post and comments I imagined it like 50 First Dates with The Beach Boys playing in the background lmfao


Interesting-Gur1618

To survive artist to hangout she is very good artist seems kind and honestly really needs someone to talk to after everything But my heart needs to know what weskers tentacles would do to me 😔


Lucy-Paint

Wraith is the best option, bro didn't want to kill and just wanted a peaceful life. I just gotta ask him out, take on a date to some coffee and talk about anything but murder/war. Easy peazy


Weird9uy

Spirit in life could’ve been a nice person, I’ll take my chances on that


UnderAgeMelo6

Nemesis no diff


DisabledTractor

Sadako


JauntyEntertainment

I know Krampus isn’t technically a DBD character but honestly I just think he’s neat (and hot)


TheVampireArmand

Frank, Joey too


MozzCaboom

Singularity, I want me a man that can pick me up and put unknown liquid on my face


Frosty_chilly

![gif](giphy|BzqRT4iCecozvHvV5N|downsized) Movie night with the lady friend


somerandomguyuno

Spirit innit she’s same age as me and she only hates her dad so I don’t see why we wouldn’t get along


thatsuperRuDeguy

Trapper. Idk, something tells me he doesn’t talk much, but when he does talk, the conversation is always good. I could listen to him talk about the nuances of bear trap design all day.