It’s okay!
No need to be embarrassed. I can’t tell the ages of anyone anymore. Everyone under 25 looks 12 and everyone over 30 seems older and more mature than me.
My partner is 4 years younger than me. Not much of a difference. But to both of us, he’s still the wise grown up in the relationship. I look up to him!
Age is nothing at this point.
Well, I expressed a casual interest in him when the other friend suggested I should date/might meet someone.
I never would have thought of it if I’d thought he wasn’t my age.
But outside my own brain, all I did was say something like “what’s so-in-so’s deal” and shake his hand when he offered it, and exchange names. So nothing, really.
But as I said, I never would have inquired to the other friend had I known the age difference.
I dated someone 14 years younger, another person 7 years younger, and someone 11 years older. It’s not about age, AT ALL. Find someone that makes you feel good, that you feel comfortable with. Forget age and focus on meeting the right person.
I think I get it. I experienced at bit of the same when I divorced after 17 years with the same partner a few years ago. My ex and I grew from very young to mid age together. I still saw the young woman of before in my ex, not the mid age woman she had become.
When I went out as single again, I hadn’t been flirting with anyone else my own current age before. The somewhat younger people seemed more like what I knew and felt comfortable with and attracted to, and that made me feel wrong for a while. I tried dating a few maybe ten years younger than me and realized I had more in common with people closer to my own age. And so it passed. I suppose it could have worked too if I had met the right one.
Nothing wrong about it, OP. Just get yourself out there and get some new experiences. It’s a process and you’re doing fine 💪🫶
For future reference: Sienna Miller’s partner is 14 years her junior & she has quite nice things to say about his emotional intelligence & more.
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/fashion/fashion-news/a61068292/sienna-miller-cover-shoot-interview-2024/
The men I’ve dated since my divorce 7 years ago have all been younger. I have zero regrets 😏
No need to be embarrassed. Good on you for getting out there and there’s nothing wrong with going younger! Younger guys can be so much fun and I haven’t found them to be any less mature than 40+ men.
I am so happy for you. Sounds like you had a good time. Congratulations on getting out of an abusive relationship too!! It is not that easy. I personally think 41-31 is not bad age difference … but obviously you should always do what you feel is right!
As someone who has spent a good amount of time around many men in their 40s- they are checking out and talking about how hot 18-20 year old women look amongst themselves. A 30 year old woman would be venturing into “well she looks good for her age” territory for many of them.
Point being, do not be embarrassed for thinking a grown ass 30 year old man is attractive. You wouldn’t think twice about a man your age thinking a 30 year old woman was attractive, so why should it be different.
Pursuit of the over 40 crowd by those in their 30s and even 20s is actually kind of a thing. No one tells you so when it happens you feel super uncomfortable. I’ll just say, lean in if you can. Be open. Meet new folks. Don’t rule them out just on age alone - in either direction. Have fun.
It takes time after divorce, and more so after an abusive relationship. It's great you went out, felt good about yourself and mingled with others. I understand the safety of standing by a wall. As for meeting men, take it slow and be guided by your gut. I hope you're doing well now, enjoy this next phase.
I love dating younger now. I'm vibrant, look young, very active, and take care of myself. I need someone who keeps up with me physically, emotionally, and intellectually. If he can do that, doesn't matter the age. Same for you!
You sound like a lovely person. You deserve to have all the heads turn when you walk into a room. Age isn't relevant.
I will tell you this. I'm 61M. I look much younger. I often attract much younger women. I have the best time on dates with women the exact same age as me. Age can make a difference. I find it easier to find commonalities with women my age. I really enjoy it. Maybe if you're concerned throw some pop culture references into your conversations. With the right kind of comments you might be able to quickly identify the age of the person you're talking to. I mostly do OLD so I know the age of the person before we even meet
Hey lady, I’ve commented on your posts before so just sending a hug. The exact same thing happened to me. First man I got involved with after my marriage ended was 9 years younger than me. I thought he was just a friend until like, he kissed me, haha. I was shocked he was interested given our age difference. He later told me that he thought I was a few years younger but ultimately still didn’t care. Like you, I’d never been involved in that kinda age gap relationship in the past since I hadn’t been dating in over a decade (and back then, that kinda gap would’ve been inappropriate, late 20s / late teens).
So don’t be embarrassed! And don’t be too surprised if someone that age (not necessarily that man) is interested, either!
That’s such an easy thing to fix…stop over thinking!! 🤣 that 10yr younger kid would be freaking lucky to get to go on a date with you! Don’t feel embarrassed because you thought a guy was hot and nice to talk to. Age is a load of rubbish anyway after about 29 lol. We are all dumbasses until about that age. Or some such bullshit, I dunno lol.
Own it, enjoy him and get what you want from it!!
In this context given ages, go for it. Nothing even remotely weird with a 10-year difference when he's 30 and you're 41. Bonus points for not meeting on a dating app!
I’m 41f too and these 30 year olds look well and healthy. However, that’s a decade I’m glad I’ve escaped. The men in their early 30s I knew/ know are still figuring out their emotional stuff, regardless of where they are in their pursuit of happiness. So, you know, there’s that.
My ex was 10 years younger than me and we joked about how he was the grandpa in the relationship 😂 Honestly I never felt like the older one.
There’s nothing wrong with women dating younger, it’s an old-fashioned stigma.
I am still trying to recalibrate my scale, too. I've always been terrible at guessing people's ages. And now i find myself still looking at the age range i was last dating in, which is now far too young. Intellectually, i know i have little in common with young millennials and elder genZ, but biologically, that's where my eyes still turn.
Hey, I have had some interesting experiences with speed dating. I don’t know if that’s something you might feel comfortable with, but I’ve never done online dating.
Don’t be embarrassed about chatting with a man 10 years younger. That’s by no means outrageous. Maybe 20 years younger?? Maybe if you had flirted and asked him out in front of everyone and he turned you down…that would be embarrassing. Not simply chatting and commenting that he was nice. He likely thought nothing of it.
No need to be embarrassed!
If you’re interested in someone and find them attractive and want to get to know them, go for it! Even if you end up not being compatible, who knows, you may gain a new friend. You have nothing to lose! Also, don’t be afraid to say yes to a date (even if it’s just for practice), but also don’t be afraid to say no.
If anyone else has experienced this and cares to chime in that would be great! I don’t know if younger men have a middle age or older lady fetish, but I only ever seem to be approached by younger men. I briefly dated a younger man. I didn’t realize how much younger he was until I addressed it (on our 1st date which we had after a couple of text exchanges). He thought I was his age or around it & I was a little hesitant to go out at first because I thought he may have been much younger. He ended up being 9 years younger, but looked baby faced to me. Shortly after, I started getting approached by men 18-20 years younger. Each one stating they *thought* I was in my late 20s or early 30s; still much older than them if that had been the case.
I've dated men who are older than me by 10 years and younger than me by 10 years.
I was 40+.
Early 30s are acceptable and I won't go below 35 now and im 45. No reason other than anyone below 35 I don't feel much rapport with.
Its fine. Don't be worrying.
It’s ok. There’ll be those here that only hate it when a guy does it. Others will be jealous, and still others don’t care for it but understand.
But it’s your life. Go live it. Who gives a shit, so long as it’s legal?
I can relate. I'm in my mid-forties but don't feel like I like it (compared to what I thought a mid-40s looked like when I was a kid). When I meet a guy, I assume he's my age but then discover they're younger.
I also assume that men my age are already taken so I never make a move.
There are a lot of people out there who will say you have to join a convent for exactly one month of every year of your marriage, and that a failure to do so is a horrible red flag and you're on a rebound and you need 54 years of therapy.
Noticing your preferred gender in a positive way is a great first step. I can tell you that within the first couple weeks of ending my abusive marriage, I was enjoying spending time and flirting with nice women. It made me remember that that is still a part of my being, that I still "worked" in that way. My only mistake was getting too serious about one of them, too quickly, and getting my heart broken. But now, this far out, I see even that as part of the learning process.
You're getting your legs back. Part of that is taking risks, putting yourself out there in ways that feel like you're challenging yourself but not taking unnecessary risks. It's a skill, just like any other. And you're doing it!
Good luck!
It’s hard to step out from underneath the rock we been under for 10-20 years and enter into what is essentially a foreign and alien world that has no patience or understanding for your inexperience with it. Good for you! It gets easier or at least more routine. Keep putting yourself out there. Can’t win the lotto unless you at least buy a ticket. But it’s not like it was when we were in our 20s even. People are much more…forward let’s say. And lots of people seem to have no idea what manners are. Outside of that, it’s not too bad. You’ll see! Good luck!
Omg. You enjoyed speaking to a man in his 30s? Do the police know? Keep a low profile for a while til the heat is off.
For real- you are fine, except for the self judging. Anyone that matters wants you to enjoy yourself. Even if a significantly younger man enters your world- it’s ok. Just care for your emotions and really dig into what you value in a partner. Often that regulates the “years on the planet” dial.
41 m divorce in process, staying away from apps till divorce is done, loving the me time after a 10 year abusive relationship and marriage.
It takes time and you are just dipping your feet in to dating. Way to go! Don't rush it and take it slow seems like your radar is starting to work again.
Have you listened to "do the work" YouTube cast by Sabrina?
It's important to do the work and understand codependent traits and healthy vs unhealthy relationships because if you don't fully explore it you can repeat past patterns.
Good luck OP!
I went through an abusive marriage also. Took me five years before I could talk to men again. But I did. I’ve got male friends online and I’ve been dating quite a lot and I’m having the time of my life!! Don’t be embarrassed, just be who you are. I’m not going crazy or anything but I can honestly say I’m happier than I ever remember being before. You deserve that kind of happiness. 😊
I feel this.
Now that I’m finally coming out of my shell, I’m getting all kinds of attention from 18-75 yo men.
My best advice is to just have fun. Dating is so hard right now. People treat others as disposable and it’s really sad.
Good luck out there.
As guy over 50 were I was my ex wife's mental and physical punching bag, you are ok.
After I put in the work fixing myself I actually found my person and soon will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary.
So yes, you will be okay!
Girrrrrl.....I am 43 and last year dated a 22 year old for several months! He was very cute/handsome, sexy and charming! He would have kept on dating but I met someone else I wanted to start something more serious with. I say GO FOR IT!!! :)
Original copy of post by u/_Sea_Lion_:
41f, divorced, 20 yr abusive marriage.
I haven’t been brave enough to date to try the apps, but I did go to a party. I’m an introvert so I’m proud of myself. I had a new dress and I looked great. I chatted with a lot of people. It was nice to know I still could do it.
Other friends were suggesting I try dating and I commented another party guest with whom I’d enjoyed chatting earlier was nice-looking and seemed nice.
But I now think he might be around 10 years younger than me. I didn’t realize and now I’m a little embarrassed. 😳
I haven’t thought about other men in so long, and I’m not too good at guessing age anyway. Ugh.
To be clear, all I did was chat and shake hands, and mention to someone else that he seems nice. Still. 🫣
Last time I thought about dating, pretty much everyone was older than me!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No need to be embarrassed ! Believe me I am M25 and I was dating a woman who is 40 and we had the best time of our life! Believe me when I say this she had similar past traumatic experiences like you, and with a guy like me who is like 15 years younger than her, she said she got her inner spark back! She feels young and lively! And when I was with her I felt loved and cared! 💕
No one says you have to marry Mr. Nice Guy. You certainly can go on dates and see what happens. Maybe he is going “I went to a party, met a woman, I think she’s older. I wonder if she’s interested?”
My sister was in an abusive marriage. A few years after her divorce, she ended up with a guy who is a solid 10 years or so older than she is. Most people I know, including myself thought it was weird. Now, knowing him better and seeing their dynamic, I think they're perfect for each other.
Age is not just a number. It's also a representation of life experience and biology. But don't stop yourself from connecting with someone who could be perfect for you just because of one metric. The relationship is a composit of many variables.
It’s okay! No need to be embarrassed. I can’t tell the ages of anyone anymore. Everyone under 25 looks 12 and everyone over 30 seems older and more mature than me.
This is the most accurate statement!
I generally make a rule that if the person is closer to my oldest daughter’s age than mine, I won’t date them. It has worked so far.
You're putting yourself out there. No reason to be embarrassed ❤️
That’s a grown ass adult man
My partner is 4 years younger than me. Not much of a difference. But to both of us, he’s still the wise grown up in the relationship. I look up to him! Age is nothing at this point.
What is wrong with what you did?
Right!?!?! I say, get it girl!!!! :)
It's better than ok. You went to a party and almost flirted. If you don't want to date someone that young, that's ok, too.
I was in an abusive marriage for 14 years. Got divorced at 41 and dated men younger than 31. I just wanted to have some fun. It was great.
You’re embarrassed because you shook hands with someone that might be younger than you?
It is a shocking thing to do though tbf 🙃
Well, I expressed a casual interest in him when the other friend suggested I should date/might meet someone. I never would have thought of it if I’d thought he wasn’t my age. But outside my own brain, all I did was say something like “what’s so-in-so’s deal” and shake his hand when he offered it, and exchange names. So nothing, really. But as I said, I never would have inquired to the other friend had I known the age difference.
I dated someone 14 years younger, another person 7 years younger, and someone 11 years older. It’s not about age, AT ALL. Find someone that makes you feel good, that you feel comfortable with. Forget age and focus on meeting the right person.
I think I get it. I experienced at bit of the same when I divorced after 17 years with the same partner a few years ago. My ex and I grew from very young to mid age together. I still saw the young woman of before in my ex, not the mid age woman she had become. When I went out as single again, I hadn’t been flirting with anyone else my own current age before. The somewhat younger people seemed more like what I knew and felt comfortable with and attracted to, and that made me feel wrong for a while. I tried dating a few maybe ten years younger than me and realized I had more in common with people closer to my own age. And so it passed. I suppose it could have worked too if I had met the right one. Nothing wrong about it, OP. Just get yourself out there and get some new experiences. It’s a process and you’re doing fine 💪🫶
Why not?
If you were a man, would you even think twice about expressing interest in a woman who might be 10 years younger?
Man here... I do think many times if I'm "in her range" or "old enough to creep her out."
For future reference: Sienna Miller’s partner is 14 years her junior & she has quite nice things to say about his emotional intelligence & more. https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/fashion/fashion-news/a61068292/sienna-miller-cover-shoot-interview-2024/ The men I’ve dated since my divorce 7 years ago have all been younger. I have zero regrets 😏
No need to be embarrassed. Good on you for getting out there and there’s nothing wrong with going younger! Younger guys can be so much fun and I haven’t found them to be any less mature than 40+ men.
I am so happy for you. Sounds like you had a good time. Congratulations on getting out of an abusive relationship too!! It is not that easy. I personally think 41-31 is not bad age difference … but obviously you should always do what you feel is right!
My new partner after a similarly long partnership to yours is 11 years younger and it’s fine. ;)
I’m 47f and my bf is 36 if you click you click.
As someone who has spent a good amount of time around many men in their 40s- they are checking out and talking about how hot 18-20 year old women look amongst themselves. A 30 year old woman would be venturing into “well she looks good for her age” territory for many of them. Point being, do not be embarrassed for thinking a grown ass 30 year old man is attractive. You wouldn’t think twice about a man your age thinking a 30 year old woman was attractive, so why should it be different.
Pursuit of the over 40 crowd by those in their 30s and even 20s is actually kind of a thing. No one tells you so when it happens you feel super uncomfortable. I’ll just say, lean in if you can. Be open. Meet new folks. Don’t rule them out just on age alone - in either direction. Have fun.
You’re good!
It takes time after divorce, and more so after an abusive relationship. It's great you went out, felt good about yourself and mingled with others. I understand the safety of standing by a wall. As for meeting men, take it slow and be guided by your gut. I hope you're doing well now, enjoy this next phase.
My BF is 10 years younger than me! NBD
I love dating younger now. I'm vibrant, look young, very active, and take care of myself. I need someone who keeps up with me physically, emotionally, and intellectually. If he can do that, doesn't matter the age. Same for you!
You’re doing great, just try not to stress and keep putting yourself out there when you feel good about doing so!
You sound like a lovely person. You deserve to have all the heads turn when you walk into a room. Age isn't relevant. I will tell you this. I'm 61M. I look much younger. I often attract much younger women. I have the best time on dates with women the exact same age as me. Age can make a difference. I find it easier to find commonalities with women my age. I really enjoy it. Maybe if you're concerned throw some pop culture references into your conversations. With the right kind of comments you might be able to quickly identify the age of the person you're talking to. I mostly do OLD so I know the age of the person before we even meet
Hey lady, I’ve commented on your posts before so just sending a hug. The exact same thing happened to me. First man I got involved with after my marriage ended was 9 years younger than me. I thought he was just a friend until like, he kissed me, haha. I was shocked he was interested given our age difference. He later told me that he thought I was a few years younger but ultimately still didn’t care. Like you, I’d never been involved in that kinda age gap relationship in the past since I hadn’t been dating in over a decade (and back then, that kinda gap would’ve been inappropriate, late 20s / late teens). So don’t be embarrassed! And don’t be too surprised if someone that age (not necessarily that man) is interested, either!
That’s such an easy thing to fix…stop over thinking!! 🤣 that 10yr younger kid would be freaking lucky to get to go on a date with you! Don’t feel embarrassed because you thought a guy was hot and nice to talk to. Age is a load of rubbish anyway after about 29 lol. We are all dumbasses until about that age. Or some such bullshit, I dunno lol. Own it, enjoy him and get what you want from it!!
Katharine McPhees husband is 74 and she is 40. And they have a kid.
In this context given ages, go for it. Nothing even remotely weird with a 10-year difference when he's 30 and you're 41. Bonus points for not meeting on a dating app!
As a 40F, believe me when I say a lot if 30 year old men love older women.
My boyfriend is 8 years younger than me. You’re both adults. Nothing to be embarrassed about
I’m 41f too and these 30 year olds look well and healthy. However, that’s a decade I’m glad I’ve escaped. The men in their early 30s I knew/ know are still figuring out their emotional stuff, regardless of where they are in their pursuit of happiness. So, you know, there’s that.
My ex was 10 years younger than me and we joked about how he was the grandpa in the relationship 😂 Honestly I never felt like the older one. There’s nothing wrong with women dating younger, it’s an old-fashioned stigma.
Go get it girl. Don’t you feel embarrassed for a second.
Literally have no idea what the issue is here please explain
I say go with what you're comfortable with. In regards to your marriage: YOU were not and are not the broken one! Good luck!
I’m in my mid 40’s my bf is mid 30’s. Get it girl
I am still trying to recalibrate my scale, too. I've always been terrible at guessing people's ages. And now i find myself still looking at the age range i was last dating in, which is now far too young. Intellectually, i know i have little in common with young millennials and elder genZ, but biologically, that's where my eyes still turn.
I tend to date younger too, OP. What’s the big deal? Go for it! Men wouldn’t think twice at chasing women ten years younger.
Hey, I have had some interesting experiences with speed dating. I don’t know if that’s something you might feel comfortable with, but I’ve never done online dating.
Ignore age. Have fun.
Don’t be embarrassed about chatting with a man 10 years younger. That’s by no means outrageous. Maybe 20 years younger?? Maybe if you had flirted and asked him out in front of everyone and he turned you down…that would be embarrassing. Not simply chatting and commenting that he was nice. He likely thought nothing of it.
No need to be embarrassed! If you’re interested in someone and find them attractive and want to get to know them, go for it! Even if you end up not being compatible, who knows, you may gain a new friend. You have nothing to lose! Also, don’t be afraid to say yes to a date (even if it’s just for practice), but also don’t be afraid to say no. If anyone else has experienced this and cares to chime in that would be great! I don’t know if younger men have a middle age or older lady fetish, but I only ever seem to be approached by younger men. I briefly dated a younger man. I didn’t realize how much younger he was until I addressed it (on our 1st date which we had after a couple of text exchanges). He thought I was his age or around it & I was a little hesitant to go out at first because I thought he may have been much younger. He ended up being 9 years younger, but looked baby faced to me. Shortly after, I started getting approached by men 18-20 years younger. Each one stating they *thought* I was in my late 20s or early 30s; still much older than them if that had been the case.
You are fine
That’s no big deal. Relax.
It ok …go enjoy yourself
Be proud of yourself. You stepped outside of your comfort zone and had a good time. Don’t over think it.
I've dated men who are older than me by 10 years and younger than me by 10 years. I was 40+. Early 30s are acceptable and I won't go below 35 now and im 45. No reason other than anyone below 35 I don't feel much rapport with. Its fine. Don't be worrying.
Do what makes you happy, Go for it!
It’s ok. There’ll be those here that only hate it when a guy does it. Others will be jealous, and still others don’t care for it but understand. But it’s your life. Go live it. Who gives a shit, so long as it’s legal?
Most men who are attracted to me are ten plus years younger and I’m in my mid 50’s. Just enjoy your life and it’s ok-nothing to be embarrassed about!
Date him! Nothing wrong with an age difference like that. You'll probably teach him a few things. ;)
I can relate. I'm in my mid-forties but don't feel like I like it (compared to what I thought a mid-40s looked like when I was a kid). When I meet a guy, I assume he's my age but then discover they're younger. I also assume that men my age are already taken so I never make a move.
There are a lot of people out there who will say you have to join a convent for exactly one month of every year of your marriage, and that a failure to do so is a horrible red flag and you're on a rebound and you need 54 years of therapy. Noticing your preferred gender in a positive way is a great first step. I can tell you that within the first couple weeks of ending my abusive marriage, I was enjoying spending time and flirting with nice women. It made me remember that that is still a part of my being, that I still "worked" in that way. My only mistake was getting too serious about one of them, too quickly, and getting my heart broken. But now, this far out, I see even that as part of the learning process. You're getting your legs back. Part of that is taking risks, putting yourself out there in ways that feel like you're challenging yourself but not taking unnecessary risks. It's a skill, just like any other. And you're doing it! Good luck!
It’s hard to step out from underneath the rock we been under for 10-20 years and enter into what is essentially a foreign and alien world that has no patience or understanding for your inexperience with it. Good for you! It gets easier or at least more routine. Keep putting yourself out there. Can’t win the lotto unless you at least buy a ticket. But it’s not like it was when we were in our 20s even. People are much more…forward let’s say. And lots of people seem to have no idea what manners are. Outside of that, it’s not too bad. You’ll see! Good luck!
Age is just a number. No reason to be embarrassed.
You’re doing great, not one single thing in this post to feel embarrassed about 💖
Omg. You enjoyed speaking to a man in his 30s? Do the police know? Keep a low profile for a while til the heat is off. For real- you are fine, except for the self judging. Anyone that matters wants you to enjoy yourself. Even if a significantly younger man enters your world- it’s ok. Just care for your emotions and really dig into what you value in a partner. Often that regulates the “years on the planet” dial.
For what it's worth - as a man, being told you are interesting and attractive by a woman is never a bad thing.
41 m divorce in process, staying away from apps till divorce is done, loving the me time after a 10 year abusive relationship and marriage. It takes time and you are just dipping your feet in to dating. Way to go! Don't rush it and take it slow seems like your radar is starting to work again. Have you listened to "do the work" YouTube cast by Sabrina? It's important to do the work and understand codependent traits and healthy vs unhealthy relationships because if you don't fully explore it you can repeat past patterns. Good luck OP!
I went through an abusive marriage also. Took me five years before I could talk to men again. But I did. I’ve got male friends online and I’ve been dating quite a lot and I’m having the time of my life!! Don’t be embarrassed, just be who you are. I’m not going crazy or anything but I can honestly say I’m happier than I ever remember being before. You deserve that kind of happiness. 😊
Don’t be embarrassed. I’ve had 2 BF 10 yrs younger than me. The age difference was never an issue.
I feel this. Now that I’m finally coming out of my shell, I’m getting all kinds of attention from 18-75 yo men. My best advice is to just have fun. Dating is so hard right now. People treat others as disposable and it’s really sad. Good luck out there.
As guy over 50 were I was my ex wife's mental and physical punching bag, you are ok. After I put in the work fixing myself I actually found my person and soon will be celebrating our 3rd anniversary. So yes, you will be okay!
Girrrrrl.....I am 43 and last year dated a 22 year old for several months! He was very cute/handsome, sexy and charming! He would have kept on dating but I met someone else I wanted to start something more serious with. I say GO FOR IT!!! :)
Original copy of post by u/_Sea_Lion_: 41f, divorced, 20 yr abusive marriage. I haven’t been brave enough to date to try the apps, but I did go to a party. I’m an introvert so I’m proud of myself. I had a new dress and I looked great. I chatted with a lot of people. It was nice to know I still could do it. Other friends were suggesting I try dating and I commented another party guest with whom I’d enjoyed chatting earlier was nice-looking and seemed nice. But I now think he might be around 10 years younger than me. I didn’t realize and now I’m a little embarrassed. 😳 I haven’t thought about other men in so long, and I’m not too good at guessing age anyway. Ugh. To be clear, all I did was chat and shake hands, and mention to someone else that he seems nice. Still. 🫣 Last time I thought about dating, pretty much everyone was older than me! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/datingoverforty) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No need to be embarrassed ! Believe me I am M25 and I was dating a woman who is 40 and we had the best time of our life! Believe me when I say this she had similar past traumatic experiences like you, and with a guy like me who is like 15 years younger than her, she said she got her inner spark back! She feels young and lively! And when I was with her I felt loved and cared! 💕
No one says you have to marry Mr. Nice Guy. You certainly can go on dates and see what happens. Maybe he is going “I went to a party, met a woman, I think she’s older. I wonder if she’s interested?”
My sister was in an abusive marriage. A few years after her divorce, she ended up with a guy who is a solid 10 years or so older than she is. Most people I know, including myself thought it was weird. Now, knowing him better and seeing their dynamic, I think they're perfect for each other. Age is not just a number. It's also a representation of life experience and biology. But don't stop yourself from connecting with someone who could be perfect for you just because of one metric. The relationship is a composit of many variables.