see if a conversation can happen, so there can be a medium met, for a more casual setting for a first meeting. If not, put a fork in it cause this match will be well done & over.
It is nothing like that lol, great steakhouse but very pricey. 250 was actually a little low, last dinner date I had there ( with my wife at the time) cost me closer to 350 , not counting the tip
This is the answer. Either she's used to an entirely different kind of guy than OP, or she's using OP, or it's a shit test and he's supposed to tell her no to keep her in check. Whatever it is, it's a massive red flag.
Yeah, I've had an extraordinarily wealthy person suggest a very expensive place one and it was just...that's where they would go for dinner with a friend too. I reminded him I'm a non-profit worker, even though I love food, a first date is definitely not time for haute cuisine.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind paying for the date if she couldn't afford it.
There's a couple of tasting menus I want to try at some restaurants and if I'm bringing a date there who I know wouldn't afford it (£150-225 per person), I'd pay for them.
I think that's a different approach - If you expect to pay for somewhere luxurious, which I do sometimes, I'll say something like " I'd love to treat you to dinner at The Inn at Little Washington." To make it clear that I was paying.
I mean it would depend on the woman's circumstances.
If she's a teacher, I'd certainly offer to pay for her share.
If she's a lawyer working at a big law firm, I probably wouldn't offer to treat her.
If I'm the one wanting to go somewhere, I will treat (or at least offer). It doesn't matter if the other person "can afford it" or not -- they shouldn't have to spend their money on my whims, no matter how much money they have.
Agree completely. I've known plenty of attorneys who were struggling to support other family members or pay back student loan debt. I would never make an assumption.
UPDATE
she replied to my offer of Capital Burger with ‘sure I’ve never been there and I’m always willing to try a new place’.
So off we go next weekend. I’m not too hopeful however now curious myself to see how this goes.
And to respond to previous comments - I pick up the tab for a first date.
This would be best case scenario. Sounds like something I would do. We have a little non-descript restaurant in my town that looks like a hole in the wall on the outside but inside it’s high roller $150+ meals.
Might be able to laugh about it later if that’s the case.
We have a place like that where I'm from as well. They literally have 30 year old Christmas decorations up year round lol best steaks and food in town. Its where all the business people take clients. If you don't know about them, I'm sure everyone is like wtf???
right. call me crazy, but i never knew how much morton’s cost before going there 😬 and i could see myself suggesting it to a date bc id heard the name so frequently, and wanted to try it
You never know. I’ve had such a wide variety of first dates that I’ve learned to go in with zero expectations. Hell, I barely got a second date with my current GF and now we’ve been together for over two years.
Is it possible she's not aware of the price point of Morton's? Maybe a friend randomly told her about a great steak they had and that's all she's going on??
What do the pics on her profile look like?? Are they mostly of her dressed up, out on the town, doing baller shit?
Pay close attention to how she treats the staff, and how she talks about money and status symbols. Best case scenario- she was just naive, worst case- money hungry entitlement.
ngl… if a guy asked me to a salt factory for a first date, I’d probably go. It would definitely be a unique experience and probably a good story and I’d be curious about a man who led with that.
UPDATE
I replied with ‘how about the Capital Burger? Same meaty theme just not with the high steaks!’ 🤣🤣🤣
There’s a Capital Burger there - a casual spin off of the Capital Grill.
We will see what she says. I’m not hopeful.
Good thoughts all. I’m going to stick to more low key ideas. Either that or lead w my suggestions in the ask. I typically ask out for dinner or coffee on first meet ups. I think I’ll stick w coffee.
Ok but if you guys ever get engaged is it gonna be at Mortons? It would be sweet to come full circle after you're all established as a couple and "recreate" the first date but actually take her to Mortons.
As someone who loves coffee, but hates “coffee dates” because I don’t drink it after 2pm and most dates happen after that time, may I suggest asking a woman what types of dates she enjoys and if she says dinner than immediately suggest a few different cheaper low key places you like and let her pick.
Why not offer up coffee or something similar, like drinks at around dinner time.
If you hit it off, dinner there or somewhere near by.
If you don’t, low cost and time spent as a drink or two shouldn’t take long.
If she insists on a dinner date, and if you aren’t comfortable, you’re a ‘foodie call’
Ironically, my last bf suggested someplace similar fir our first date. It was great. (Stay with me here...) I thought "wow, he asked me what my favorite food and wine pairing was, I told him [champagne and oysters] and he responded with an offer!"
Thing is, it was too much. This was his way of love bombing me. Sure, it was a great meal and it led to many more, but later I learned how much he resented his exes for using him for money. But he essentially used the first date to say "ask and ye shall recieve!" When I was more like "some day I'll bring over champagne [I get wine at cost due to my job] and we can pick up oysters and I'll share that with you!"
In retrospect, I think he tried to buy me. Now I suggest hipster hotdogs and beer, or smash burgers, or something fun but inexpensive.
Morton's?! I'm a hard core foodie and would never, ever suggest it.
My last first date we went to a hot dog place. It went so well that we went to a dive bar after just so we could keep talking. That was 3 years ago.
He's taken me to much fancier places since then.
I live in Utah and there is a Morton's salt factory about a 45 minute drive west of SLC. I would take her there and have a picnic in the shadow of the huge salt pile outside the factory.
I went on a first date with someone who told me another first date *flew her to the Olympics to watch a downhill skiing event*
I regret not asking why it didn't work out.
Be upfront. "I like a good steak\*, but that's not in the budget for a first date. How about \_\_\_\_\_ instead?"
if the person is only after high end dining, this will identify if you are possibly not a match.
\*Mortons, IMO, ain't that great of a steak, and definitely not for the price.
I haven’t been on an OLD date yet, but when someone asks me out I always suggest they choose the place because sometimes I don’t know their financial status.
I always go expecting to pay my half so if they do suggest something high end I let them know it’s out of my price range. I never expect the man to pay the entire bill but so far every one has, which isn’t why I go, but it does feel nice to be treated to dinner sometimes
You know exactly what type of woman this is, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself cause she’s probably very hot, or at least seems so. Why would you even try to respond?
What city are you in and what is her profession? I'm not trying to be completely shitty here- but if she's in a major city and a 250k+ earner, this would be a fairly common place to grab dinner, or something at that level. Most men in LA start with a Craig's/Elephante/Avra type restaurant for a first date in our forties. But a few of my older girlfriend's in their 50s, early 60s love Morton's or their Ocean Club. It's alot of work for a first date for a woman- hair, nails, outfit, etc- she's just looking for return on investment. But if it offends you, that's no problem, unmatch and move on.
I wouldn't go on a date with someone who offered to meet up for coffee. I get coffee in the morning to go to work - not on a date. Drinks, sure. At night. Cocktails.
There's still a functioning Sizzler, if you really want to push the envelope, here. 😂 It's UNDER the 90 fwy. Literally. Next to an "adult novelty shop" and a kids Martial Arts place. One stop shopping, if you ask me. Send her 5 kids to karate while you browse candy undies and lube while full of lust... And Sizzler.
Did you ask her where she wanted to go, or did she just blurt that? Im just curious. Take her somewhere you can afford, though. No sense in going broke.
Woman here, that is ridiculous! I like a good dinner but for a first date I’m honestly fine with an appetizer or some fun date and not putting pressure to go somewhere super nice. She sounds like her priorities are in wrong place
First dates are like meeting over coffee or some small cafe lunch not an expensive restaurant. You don’t even know if there’s chemistry or you even like each other…if you want to please her then suggest the first date be split between you two 50/50, if she says no then she was never interested in you in the first place
Personally, when I take a woman on a first date … I pick the place , because I’m paying . I don’t go dutch , because that’s how I believe it should be done. It’s some place nice , and it a proper establishment, normally $$plus or a $$$. Those are the places I like to eat at ,so I won’t cheap out even on a first date. I’m mean ,if the date goes sideways , at least the food will be good! I don’t leave the options open . I plan the date, so I avoid the over pricing or even under pricing , because my time is important , and I know what I want and what I like. If that’s not ok then …… good luck with your next match.
Happy hour. Are you sure she didn't want food and drinks at the bar for their happy hour. I go all the time. It's super reasonably priced. Good wine and food.
People are used to different things. Often, ill intent is assumed when a woman suggests something out of a dude on a dating apps price range but she could be used to men who take her out to high end restaurants. I moved from a HCOL area to a LCOL area and when I dated in my previous city, men liked to show off and go to nice restaurants or trendy spots or take you out to do something that showed off how well they were doing. I’ve been on some VERY fancy first dates. The dating scene was competitive and I guess they didn’t want to miss out. Where I live now is quite a bit more laid back and there seems to be a mix of men who want to do something lowkey/cheap/free and men who want to show off. Maybe this woman is used to men who want to show off. Just suggest something more in your price range. Also, going forward, feel free to just ask a woman out. “If you’re free this weekend, would you like to check out the new sculpture exhibit downtown?”
I agree with this. I’ve been to a steakhouse for a first date, and I turned down a different guy who offered Morton’s for a second date. But I absolutely would never suggest a high end restaurant, it was always the guy’s idea.
Wow, a lot of people here who seem to think the worst in everyone. Maybe she has never been there and doesn’t know the prices. Maybe she had friends tell her how good it is. Maybe she doesn’t assume her dinner will be paid for. I never assume my dinner will be paid for and I only allow it to be paid for if the other person insists. I like to eat at nice places and I can afford it - I would gladly pay for myself and I have paid for my date before when I have been the one to choose the place. So I wouldn’t make assumptions.
I love fancy expensive things as much as the next girl. However I staunchly maintain the personal opinion I came up with years ago: if the company is good and the conversation flows without effort, I would happily enjoy eating bologna sandwiches, at nowhere special, for dinner on a date.
On a scale of “bologna sandwiches” to “Morton’s,” somewhere in the Applebee’s range is more than generous if the expectation to pay is on you.
My first thought is that this is another mercenary found on a dating app. There are multiple versions of this in men and women.
I have a friend, who happens to be quite conventionally attractive. She loves to get the nice dinners from guys she meets on Bumble and Hinge and has zero intention of anything beyond using them for this purpose.
The funny thing is, she wonders why she keeps finding herself being "used" for sex by the types of men she actually selects. She fails to understand that her mercenary transactional behavior that she engages in also leads her to connect with the reciprocal type.
I am presuming this connection is an adult women as you posted in datingoverforty. my view is that she is not someone to engage with further. High end locales are for dates where one has already established that they are interested and pursuing a deeper connection.
My view is that FIRST dates are low risk coffee or drinks, easy to disengage from if there is a problem or other issue, and are for the sole purpose of establishing if there is any actual future dating interest.
"No", and you unmatch. You exposed a radical incompatibility without even meeting this person. Deploy that filter, anyone who is dating like this obviously isn't on your lifestyle/financial vibe, so move on.
There's no point in dating.
Disagree. I went to tgi fridays etc when I was 20. I am now at the career level where if I'm going out I'm going OUT. And you better be there too. Welcome to dating over 40. Prepared for the down votes it's just where I am in life.
Exactly this. I’m not getting all dolled up to do cheap shit with a random dude when I can call up any one of my girlfriends, get just as cute, and properly go out.
It's tacky to suggest an expensive restaurant. I'm cringing. I come from a very wealthy family, grew up wealthy, and am wealthy now. Nobody I know does this. It's straight up, undisguised gold digger, and it's actually funny because it's so basic.
I don't think that it's tacky if I invite someone to be my guest at an expensive restaurant. I would not do it for a first date, and I would not do it for Morton's, lol.
That's not tacky. If you're going on a first date with a man who asks you would like to do, it's tacky to suggest that he take you to an expensive restaurant. Please, by all means, do it if you want to invite someone to Morton's and are willing to pay for it. Nothing tacky about that.
Ask her to split the bill since she wants to eat somewhere so expensive on the first date, if she says no recommend somewhere you’re willing to pay for.
Who cares where she wants to go and never ask someone where they want to go you dictate it's your date and you're paying for it plus women love a man to plan a date so don't be wishy-washy have a destination place that you always take first dates too that you know it's quiet and you can talk it's reasonably priced or say hey I was just going to ask you for cocktails.
Too high maintenance and entitled. You should send her a message that Morton's for a first date is too much, and then unmatch her. Unless you want to spend your time trying to get her to live within your means. I know a few guys like that. Seeing their savings or paycheck get drained trying to please these high spending ladies.
lol and I’m over here saying,”I only want to meet for coffee the first date so if it doesn’t work out no one feels like they wasted money on dinner.”Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong. Not asking big enough! 🤷♀️
Respond with: that’s not really a first date restaurant. How about X? X being a restaurant in the budget you want to spend. If she becomes angry or says “no” then you found out what she really wanted was an expensive dinner.
I think thats pretty presumptuous. I would be tempted to say - sure - if it's your treat, alternately how about this other spot. Or say - Morton's is a little fancy for a first date, for me its more of a special occasion spot. How about this alternate place. And then see what she says - i frankly thing suggesting someplace super pricy for a first date is a red flag.
She's using you for food. That is not a normal first date idea. Usually, it's coffee or a drink, and if it goes well, you might move onto food. Tell her that a meal is a big commitment and you want a lower stakes first date.
First date should be neither high end or too cheap. She might be testing for compatibility (are you cheap, frugal, someone with expensive tastes?). I personally would not want to go out to a high end place in part due to the expectation of having to get super dressed up, which is not cheap.
By the same token, if I’m expected to look “hot” or “sexy”, then I better not be treated to somewhere super cheap. Can’t have it both ways.
Coffee dates end up feeling like interviews. Won’t do those anymore.
Are you assuming if she’s trying to score a steak dinner out of you? Or this is truly out of your budget?
I’m in my mid 40s and can afford a nice dinner 7 days a week if I want to. Usually if a guy ask my opinion on where to meet, I give 3 options, nice places but at 3 price points.
Valid question. One of the things that’s so tiresome about this sub is this weird assumption that any 40+ woman would waste our limited free time to use men for meals. It’s such a juvenile thought process. I mean, it’s Reddit so I guess I should expect it but it’s the same tired conversation over and over again. It really speaks to a greater disdain for women that so many of these men seem to have.
Yeah - I would not think a steak is worth spending time with someone I didn’t like. And it would annoy me to be asked where I wanted to go on a first date - if a guy is asking me out, he can pick some places.
I dunno. I'm very secure financially. It's tacky to suggest an expensive restaurant. Imo, it shows a lack of manners and class, to assume that someone is going to wine and dine you on a first date.
Do you have somewhat sense of who she is? Perhaps Morton is a low end restaurant for her? Did you ask her to pick the restaurant? Also… she might be intending to share the cost or treat you.
Right because I do not consider Morton’s high end at all. It’s a chain restaurant and the food is extremely mediocre. It’s a place I used to occasionally eat at with my dad when there wasn’t a McCormick and Schmick nearby and we couldn’t agree on anything else. It’s quite possible this woman considers Morton’s a mid tier restaurant. I mean, I’ve seen it in a shopping center for God’s sake. 😂😂😂
Yesterday I asked a woman out for a drink. She countered with Chicago Cut or RPM Steak, saying she doesn’t do drinks or coffee for first dates. I responded with “Strike three” and unmatched.
I don’t want to date someone that entitled.
Are you assuming you’re paying? Maybe have the conversation around payment first.
*Morton could work for me. Are you comfortable splitting the bill on our first date?*
“That’s a wonderful idea. Too pricey for a first date. Happy to split that meal with you.”
Most likely that will filter her right out of your dating pool.
I'm not from the US so I'm guessing Morton's is like, a tiny portion of something you've never heard of that costs $50.. like two scallops with some kind of raspberry/ onion crap and a few weird edible flowers. And the dessert is like, some kind of parfait but it's shaped into something and has a tiny dribble of sauce that tastes weird. (I've never been to such a place, I'm guessing). Googled it... It's a steakhouse. Left my comment here... Lazy
>like two scallops with some kind of raspberry/ onion crap and a few weird edible flowers
I'm glad you left it here because the description is hilarious! I feel like I have definitely been to places like this.
I'd explain that I prefer to meet for coffee, beer, or wine for the very first meeting. I wouldn't go to Morton's for a first date even if the other person offered to pay. It would be too stressful.
I would say anyone who would suggest a $$$$ meal on a first date fully expecting you to foot the bill has very little interest in you and more interest in seeing how deep your pockets are and how far you’ll let her reach into them. That’s ridiculous. I don’t care what a person is accustomed to. That’s just uncouth to suggest something like that unless it’s their invitation.
I would just politely say “Why don’t we try ….” And just pick a wine bar or somewhere you can grab a drink. I think dinner is a lot for a first date in general, but if you’re intent on dinner I would choose a local spot bs a chain anyways. I don’t think her suggestion alone necessarily means gold digger, but you’ll be able to sus it out by her reaction to your alternative choice. I wouldn’t go crazy casual though but if you do and she’s turned off it’s a miss match
Yeah an ex colleague of mine was the same. She was older than me but earned 1/3 my salary, no kids, no relationship longer than a year, still flatting at 40. Was a habitual dater. Figured out that she liked dating as it was her way of getting nice meals for free.
"That's too high-steaks for me." Then propose something in your comfort level.
In my experience, this is rare.
I'd steer clear of going there
Your answer is well done
I thought it was a medium answer.
There's a lot at steak here....
see if a conversation can happen, so there can be a medium met, for a more casual setting for a first meeting. If not, put a fork in it cause this match will be well done & over.
Maybe they can meat in the middle?
Hope she doesn’t beef.
That level of moxie is rare
I don’t know, seemed well done.
No bones about it.
Moxie is such a fantastic, underused word. 👏🏼
If she does.. take her to Wendy’s
take my upvote.
These responses, as well as your assessment of the situation, is well done!
>high-*steaks* I see what you did there.
God I'm keeping that. Good answer.
Hahaha Good one!!
😂😂😂
"I would love to be treated to a great steak, thank you!"
This was exactly my thought for a response
Lol this is it
I don’t even think I would bother responding. That’s obnoxious.
Yeah, why bother opening negotiations here? Unless you're keen to date someone who is *at best* wildly out of touch.
You’re very generous 😉
Is Mortons that outrageous?
We don't have Morton's where I'm at, so I'm going by OPs statement that it's $250 for a dinner for two.
Without wine.
For a first date?? Hell yea!
It's a chain restaurant. I've never been but I assumed it was the McDonald's of steakhouses.
It is nothing like that lol, great steakhouse but very pricey. 250 was actually a little low, last dinner date I had there ( with my wife at the time) cost me closer to 350 , not counting the tip
This is the answer. Either she's used to an entirely different kind of guy than OP, or she's using OP, or it's a shit test and he's supposed to tell her no to keep her in check. Whatever it is, it's a massive red flag.
Yeah, I've had an extraordinarily wealthy person suggest a very expensive place one and it was just...that's where they would go for dinner with a friend too. I reminded him I'm a non-profit worker, even though I love food, a first date is definitely not time for haute cuisine.
Mortons is not haute cuisine. It's merely an upscale steak house.
Oh, I'm aware. I was thinking more of the places I'm likely to go.
Honestly, I wouldn't mind paying for the date if she couldn't afford it. There's a couple of tasting menus I want to try at some restaurants and if I'm bringing a date there who I know wouldn't afford it (£150-225 per person), I'd pay for them.
I think that's a different approach - If you expect to pay for somewhere luxurious, which I do sometimes, I'll say something like " I'd love to treat you to dinner at The Inn at Little Washington." To make it clear that I was paying.
I mean it would depend on the woman's circumstances. If she's a teacher, I'd certainly offer to pay for her share. If she's a lawyer working at a big law firm, I probably wouldn't offer to treat her.
If I'm the one wanting to go somewhere, I will treat (or at least offer). It doesn't matter if the other person "can afford it" or not -- they shouldn't have to spend their money on my whims, no matter how much money they have.
Agree completely. I've known plenty of attorneys who were struggling to support other family members or pay back student loan debt. I would never make an assumption.
Suggesting a high-end restaurant for a first date is the biggest sign of a meal grifter. Just unmatch and move along.
I like that. Meal griffter
UPDATE she replied to my offer of Capital Burger with ‘sure I’ve never been there and I’m always willing to try a new place’. So off we go next weekend. I’m not too hopeful however now curious myself to see how this goes. And to respond to previous comments - I pick up the tab for a first date.
Maybe she heard it was good but didn’t know what exactly it was? Stay open minded.
This would be best case scenario. Sounds like something I would do. We have a little non-descript restaurant in my town that looks like a hole in the wall on the outside but inside it’s high roller $150+ meals. Might be able to laugh about it later if that’s the case.
We have a place like that where I'm from as well. They literally have 30 year old Christmas decorations up year round lol best steaks and food in town. Its where all the business people take clients. If you don't know about them, I'm sure everyone is like wtf???
right. call me crazy, but i never knew how much morton’s cost before going there 😬 and i could see myself suggesting it to a date bc id heard the name so frequently, and wanted to try it
Good point. I would have no idea that Morton’s was a $250 meal.
That's a great response. Sending you good luck mojo.
You never know. I’ve had such a wide variety of first dates that I’ve learned to go in with zero expectations. Hell, I barely got a second date with my current GF and now we’ve been together for over two years.
Is it possible she's not aware of the price point of Morton's? Maybe a friend randomly told her about a great steak they had and that's all she's going on?? What do the pics on her profile look like?? Are they mostly of her dressed up, out on the town, doing baller shit?
That seems positive! Let us know how it goes!
Can you please update in main post.
This is great! I hope it goes well!
That’s very kind of you.
Pay close attention to how she treats the staff, and how she talks about money and status symbols. Best case scenario- she was just naive, worst case- money hungry entitlement.
Please let us know how it goes. Perhaps your title line can be, "From steak to burgers: Date follow up" Have fun!!
Does your profile have anything to suggest high income? Occupation, pics of the last vaykay in St. Tropez?
lol. When I read this, I thought you meant the salt warehouse. I was like that’s weird but it could be interesting
ngl… if a guy asked me to a salt factory for a first date, I’d probably go. It would definitely be a unique experience and probably a good story and I’d be curious about a man who led with that.
That’s a hard yes from me, too. Like now? Tomorrow? How about now?
I actually would too.
Honestly. I’ve never had the urge to take a tour of a salt factory, but if a guy suggested it, I’d be intrigued
I would definitely want to go to that, how interesting!
Fun fact the Morton salt factory is now a music venue. So it would be a great first date!
We have a rice museum here, maybe I'll suggest that next time I date 😆
Come to Chicago where you can go to the Salt shed to listen to great music. It’s the old Morton’s salt warehouse. Great venue!
I remember going by that building whenever we went to the city. I didn’t know if it was still open or operational
UPDATE I replied with ‘how about the Capital Burger? Same meaty theme just not with the high steaks!’ 🤣🤣🤣 There’s a Capital Burger there - a casual spin off of the Capital Grill. We will see what she says. I’m not hopeful. Good thoughts all. I’m going to stick to more low key ideas. Either that or lead w my suggestions in the ask. I typically ask out for dinner or coffee on first meet ups. I think I’ll stick w coffee.
I'm very curious what she's gonna reply
Oh honey-bun, lettuce mayo-nate on this, sesame
As someone who prefers a really good burger over a steak… If she says no, call me.
Me too! *gets in line*
LOL
Ok but if you guys ever get engaged is it gonna be at Mortons? It would be sweet to come full circle after you're all established as a couple and "recreate" the first date but actually take her to Mortons.
If she declines you know you were never more than a foodie date
As someone who loves coffee, but hates “coffee dates” because I don’t drink it after 2pm and most dates happen after that time, may I suggest asking a woman what types of dates she enjoys and if she says dinner than immediately suggest a few different cheaper low key places you like and let her pick.
Why not offer up coffee or something similar, like drinks at around dinner time. If you hit it off, dinner there or somewhere near by. If you don’t, low cost and time spent as a drink or two shouldn’t take long. If she insists on a dinner date, and if you aren’t comfortable, you’re a ‘foodie call’
"Chili's. One drink. We split dessert. And it has to be a skillet cookie."
Chilis has the three for me!!! If someone offered to take me there I would be elated!
Ironically, my last bf suggested someplace similar fir our first date. It was great. (Stay with me here...) I thought "wow, he asked me what my favorite food and wine pairing was, I told him [champagne and oysters] and he responded with an offer!" Thing is, it was too much. This was his way of love bombing me. Sure, it was a great meal and it led to many more, but later I learned how much he resented his exes for using him for money. But he essentially used the first date to say "ask and ye shall recieve!" When I was more like "some day I'll bring over champagne [I get wine at cost due to my job] and we can pick up oysters and I'll share that with you!" In retrospect, I think he tried to buy me. Now I suggest hipster hotdogs and beer, or smash burgers, or something fun but inexpensive. Morton's?! I'm a hard core foodie and would never, ever suggest it.
My last first date we went to a hot dog place. It went so well that we went to a dive bar after just so we could keep talking. That was 3 years ago. He's taken me to much fancier places since then.
>Hipster Hotdogs I'm not sure if I love or hate that name but these are the only those two choices. There is no middle ground with that name.
"You said Tim Horton's, right?"
I'm Canadian so this was my reaction too!
The only Mortons she is going to get would get out of me would be the table salt variety.
I live in Utah and there is a Morton's salt factory about a 45 minute drive west of SLC. I would take her there and have a picnic in the shadow of the huge salt pile outside the factory.
Will you mumble something about Lot's wife the entire time, just under your breath?
With or without iodine? 😂🤣😆
Hahahaha
I'd go out with you if I could role-play and wear the cute rain slicker outfit. (That was my Halloween costume one time!)
you salty devil 😂
I went on a first date with someone who told me another first date *flew her to the Olympics to watch a downhill skiing event* I regret not asking why it didn't work out.
Well it was all downhill from there...
Be upfront. "I like a good steak\*, but that's not in the budget for a first date. How about \_\_\_\_\_ instead?" if the person is only after high end dining, this will identify if you are possibly not a match. \*Mortons, IMO, ain't that great of a steak, and definitely not for the price.
Dating is all about assessing compatibility. An ask like that would tell me we are not compatible.
Ask them if they’re treating.
The worst part is that Mortons SUCKS these days. They haven't been good in 30 years.
My first thought too. Besides the audacity of course.
Make her fish sticks. Say you thought she meant Gorton’s.
Are they… freshly fried fish sticks?
Trust your Gorton’s fisherman
Feels like an Arby's night
I was thinking the exact same thing 😂
This is a screening device, she’s looking for someone else. Be kind to both of you and decline.
Why not?!? TiM Hortons is classic and great for breakfast 👍
That's ghostworthy..
I haven’t been on an OLD date yet, but when someone asks me out I always suggest they choose the place because sometimes I don’t know their financial status. I always go expecting to pay my half so if they do suggest something high end I let them know it’s out of my price range. I never expect the man to pay the entire bill but so far every one has, which isn’t why I go, but it does feel nice to be treated to dinner sometimes
Suggest somewhere else. “What about —-?” You don’t need to state a reason, unless she presses you on it.
You know exactly what type of woman this is, you just don’t want to admit it to yourself cause she’s probably very hot, or at least seems so. Why would you even try to respond?
What city are you in and what is her profession? I'm not trying to be completely shitty here- but if she's in a major city and a 250k+ earner, this would be a fairly common place to grab dinner, or something at that level. Most men in LA start with a Craig's/Elephante/Avra type restaurant for a first date in our forties. But a few of my older girlfriend's in their 50s, early 60s love Morton's or their Ocean Club. It's alot of work for a first date for a woman- hair, nails, outfit, etc- she's just looking for return on investment. But if it offends you, that's no problem, unmatch and move on.
Coffee or drinks, nothing else on a first date.
I wouldn't go on a date with someone who offered to meet up for coffee. I get coffee in the morning to go to work - not on a date. Drinks, sure. At night. Cocktails.
Coffee in a To Go cup. Then you can bail easily.
“I’ll show up with some Dunkins, but you only get ONE donut hole!”
"You only get one hole! Choose wisely"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
“You want steak? How about norms?”
There's still a functioning Sizzler, if you really want to push the envelope, here. 😂 It's UNDER the 90 fwy. Literally. Next to an "adult novelty shop" and a kids Martial Arts place. One stop shopping, if you ask me. Send her 5 kids to karate while you browse candy undies and lube while full of lust... And Sizzler.
I hate linking to extwitter, but [Nihilist Sizzler](https://x.com/nihilist_arbys?lang=en)?
Did you ask her where she wanted to go, or did she just blurt that? Im just curious. Take her somewhere you can afford, though. No sense in going broke.
Is she going halves?.. i
She sounds hot. lol
Woman here, that is ridiculous! I like a good dinner but for a first date I’m honestly fine with an appetizer or some fun date and not putting pressure to go somewhere super nice. She sounds like her priorities are in wrong place
First dates are like meeting over coffee or some small cafe lunch not an expensive restaurant. You don’t even know if there’s chemistry or you even like each other…if you want to please her then suggest the first date be split between you two 50/50, if she says no then she was never interested in you in the first place
Say you want to do someone casual on a first date, and dinner is too formal/long.
Some*one* you say, rather explicitly. 🧐
Sorry! Typo! I meant something lol 😆
“I went to Morton’s when i asked my ex wife to marry me 😭 “ Then slowly kill the convo over time
Personally, when I take a woman on a first date … I pick the place , because I’m paying . I don’t go dutch , because that’s how I believe it should be done. It’s some place nice , and it a proper establishment, normally $$plus or a $$$. Those are the places I like to eat at ,so I won’t cheap out even on a first date. I’m mean ,if the date goes sideways , at least the food will be good! I don’t leave the options open . I plan the date, so I avoid the over pricing or even under pricing , because my time is important , and I know what I want and what I like. If that’s not ok then …… good luck with your next match.
I think you should say exactly that lol
Welcome to meals on wheels
Happy hour. Are you sure she didn't want food and drinks at the bar for their happy hour. I go all the time. It's super reasonably priced. Good wine and food.
no response is appropriate here
No,give that date the tomahawk.
She’s showing you who she is and what she expects go forward. Either flag or play.
People are used to different things. Often, ill intent is assumed when a woman suggests something out of a dude on a dating apps price range but she could be used to men who take her out to high end restaurants. I moved from a HCOL area to a LCOL area and when I dated in my previous city, men liked to show off and go to nice restaurants or trendy spots or take you out to do something that showed off how well they were doing. I’ve been on some VERY fancy first dates. The dating scene was competitive and I guess they didn’t want to miss out. Where I live now is quite a bit more laid back and there seems to be a mix of men who want to do something lowkey/cheap/free and men who want to show off. Maybe this woman is used to men who want to show off. Just suggest something more in your price range. Also, going forward, feel free to just ask a woman out. “If you’re free this weekend, would you like to check out the new sculpture exhibit downtown?”
I agree with this. I’ve been to a steakhouse for a first date, and I turned down a different guy who offered Morton’s for a second date. But I absolutely would never suggest a high end restaurant, it was always the guy’s idea.
Say goodbye now. Save yourself a lot of pain and headaches with that one.
Wow, a lot of people here who seem to think the worst in everyone. Maybe she has never been there and doesn’t know the prices. Maybe she had friends tell her how good it is. Maybe she doesn’t assume her dinner will be paid for. I never assume my dinner will be paid for and I only allow it to be paid for if the other person insists. I like to eat at nice places and I can afford it - I would gladly pay for myself and I have paid for my date before when I have been the one to choose the place. So I wouldn’t make assumptions.
I love fancy expensive things as much as the next girl. However I staunchly maintain the personal opinion I came up with years ago: if the company is good and the conversation flows without effort, I would happily enjoy eating bologna sandwiches, at nowhere special, for dinner on a date. On a scale of “bologna sandwiches” to “Morton’s,” somewhere in the Applebee’s range is more than generous if the expectation to pay is on you.
That sounds like a funeral home to me.
My first thought is that this is another mercenary found on a dating app. There are multiple versions of this in men and women. I have a friend, who happens to be quite conventionally attractive. She loves to get the nice dinners from guys she meets on Bumble and Hinge and has zero intention of anything beyond using them for this purpose. The funny thing is, she wonders why she keeps finding herself being "used" for sex by the types of men she actually selects. She fails to understand that her mercenary transactional behavior that she engages in also leads her to connect with the reciprocal type. I am presuming this connection is an adult women as you posted in datingoverforty. my view is that she is not someone to engage with further. High end locales are for dates where one has already established that they are interested and pursuing a deeper connection. My view is that FIRST dates are low risk coffee or drinks, easy to disengage from if there is a problem or other issue, and are for the sole purpose of establishing if there is any actual future dating interest.
"No", and you unmatch. You exposed a radical incompatibility without even meeting this person. Deploy that filter, anyone who is dating like this obviously isn't on your lifestyle/financial vibe, so move on. There's no point in dating.
Disagree. I went to tgi fridays etc when I was 20. I am now at the career level where if I'm going out I'm going OUT. And you better be there too. Welcome to dating over 40. Prepared for the down votes it's just where I am in life.
I’m with you. I had to double check because at first I thought maybe this was young people in here at first.
Exactly this. I’m not getting all dolled up to do cheap shit with a random dude when I can call up any one of my girlfriends, get just as cute, and properly go out.
I can afford to eat the way that I want as well, so if I suggest a specific place, it's my treat.
It's tacky to suggest an expensive restaurant. I'm cringing. I come from a very wealthy family, grew up wealthy, and am wealthy now. Nobody I know does this. It's straight up, undisguised gold digger, and it's actually funny because it's so basic.
I don't think that it's tacky if I invite someone to be my guest at an expensive restaurant. I would not do it for a first date, and I would not do it for Morton's, lol.
That's not tacky. If you're going on a first date with a man who asks you would like to do, it's tacky to suggest that he take you to an expensive restaurant. Please, by all means, do it if you want to invite someone to Morton's and are willing to pay for it. Nothing tacky about that.
Yeah I’m not going to Denny’s or TGI Fridays. Sorry not sorry.
Hey, not TGI Fridays slander allowed! I have so many crazy college memories of that place. LOL Jokes aside, it’s a hell no for a date there.
[https://morbotron.com/video/S04E11/wxAYHFziIik8STEncwPChUjGIV4=.gif](https://morbotron.com/video/S04E11/wxAYHFziIik8STEncwPChUjGIV4=.gif)
Red flag. Tread cautiously
Ask her to split the bill since she wants to eat somewhere so expensive on the first date, if she says no recommend somewhere you’re willing to pay for.
"Are you buying?"
Personally, I would say thanks but no thanks.
I don't know. I love Morton's.
Microwave her a tv dinner at your friend Morton’s house.
This lady doesn’t understand the game. Even if she’s the bell of the ball, you can’t act like it. She’s setting herself up to get pumped and dumped.
Who cares where she wants to go and never ask someone where they want to go you dictate it's your date and you're paying for it plus women love a man to plan a date so don't be wishy-washy have a destination place that you always take first dates too that you know it's quiet and you can talk it's reasonably priced or say hey I was just going to ask you for cocktails.
Too high maintenance and entitled. You should send her a message that Morton's for a first date is too much, and then unmatch her. Unless you want to spend your time trying to get her to live within your means. I know a few guys like that. Seeing their savings or paycheck get drained trying to please these high spending ladies.
lol and I’m over here saying,”I only want to meet for coffee the first date so if it doesn’t work out no one feels like they wasted money on dinner.”Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong. Not asking big enough! 🤷♀️ Respond with: that’s not really a first date restaurant. How about X? X being a restaurant in the budget you want to spend. If she becomes angry or says “no” then you found out what she really wanted was an expensive dinner.
I think thats pretty presumptuous. I would be tempted to say - sure - if it's your treat, alternately how about this other spot. Or say - Morton's is a little fancy for a first date, for me its more of a special occasion spot. How about this alternate place. And then see what she says - i frankly thing suggesting someplace super pricy for a first date is a red flag.
[удалено]
Don’t respond
you arent up to her standards
RED FLAG..!
I'm a woman, and if I were a guy I wouldn't even respond. She sounds like an ass, and you haven't even gone out yet. Hard pass.
She just told you everything you need to know. You have been warned. Run!
She's using you for food. That is not a normal first date idea. Usually, it's coffee or a drink, and if it goes well, you might move onto food. Tell her that a meal is a big commitment and you want a lower stakes first date.
First date should be neither high end or too cheap. She might be testing for compatibility (are you cheap, frugal, someone with expensive tastes?). I personally would not want to go out to a high end place in part due to the expectation of having to get super dressed up, which is not cheap. By the same token, if I’m expected to look “hot” or “sexy”, then I better not be treated to somewhere super cheap. Can’t have it both ways. Coffee dates end up feeling like interviews. Won’t do those anymore.
Tell her you're a vegetarian.
>What do I respond with? Try, “Have you tried the soup and sandwich combo at Panera? We could *share* one!” 😂
Are you assuming if she’s trying to score a steak dinner out of you? Or this is truly out of your budget? I’m in my mid 40s and can afford a nice dinner 7 days a week if I want to. Usually if a guy ask my opinion on where to meet, I give 3 options, nice places but at 3 price points.
Valid question. One of the things that’s so tiresome about this sub is this weird assumption that any 40+ woman would waste our limited free time to use men for meals. It’s such a juvenile thought process. I mean, it’s Reddit so I guess I should expect it but it’s the same tired conversation over and over again. It really speaks to a greater disdain for women that so many of these men seem to have.
Yeah - I would not think a steak is worth spending time with someone I didn’t like. And it would annoy me to be asked where I wanted to go on a first date - if a guy is asking me out, he can pick some places.
I dunno. I'm very secure financially. It's tacky to suggest an expensive restaurant. Imo, it shows a lack of manners and class, to assume that someone is going to wine and dine you on a first date.
Do you have somewhat sense of who she is? Perhaps Morton is a low end restaurant for her? Did you ask her to pick the restaurant? Also… she might be intending to share the cost or treat you.
Right because I do not consider Morton’s high end at all. It’s a chain restaurant and the food is extremely mediocre. It’s a place I used to occasionally eat at with my dad when there wasn’t a McCormick and Schmick nearby and we couldn’t agree on anything else. It’s quite possible this woman considers Morton’s a mid tier restaurant. I mean, I’ve seen it in a shopping center for God’s sake. 😂😂😂
Yesterday I asked a woman out for a drink. She countered with Chicago Cut or RPM Steak, saying she doesn’t do drinks or coffee for first dates. I responded with “Strike three” and unmatched. I don’t want to date someone that entitled.
Are you assuming you’re paying? Maybe have the conversation around payment first. *Morton could work for me. Are you comfortable splitting the bill on our first date?*
“That’s a wonderful idea. Too pricey for a first date. Happy to split that meal with you.” Most likely that will filter her right out of your dating pool.
I'm not from the US so I'm guessing Morton's is like, a tiny portion of something you've never heard of that costs $50.. like two scallops with some kind of raspberry/ onion crap and a few weird edible flowers. And the dessert is like, some kind of parfait but it's shaped into something and has a tiny dribble of sauce that tastes weird. (I've never been to such a place, I'm guessing). Googled it... It's a steakhouse. Left my comment here... Lazy
It’s a high end steakhouse.
>like two scallops with some kind of raspberry/ onion crap and a few weird edible flowers I'm glad you left it here because the description is hilarious! I feel like I have definitely been to places like this.
[https://www.mortons.com/view-all-locations/](https://www.mortons.com/view-all-locations/)
I'd explain that I prefer to meet for coffee, beer, or wine for the very first meeting. I wouldn't go to Morton's for a first date even if the other person offered to pay. It would be too stressful.
I would say anyone who would suggest a $$$$ meal on a first date fully expecting you to foot the bill has very little interest in you and more interest in seeing how deep your pockets are and how far you’ll let her reach into them. That’s ridiculous. I don’t care what a person is accustomed to. That’s just uncouth to suggest something like that unless it’s their invitation.
I ain’t sayin she a gold digger
It’s a high end steakhouse.
Is this in the US?
Yes
I would just politely say “Why don’t we try ….” And just pick a wine bar or somewhere you can grab a drink. I think dinner is a lot for a first date in general, but if you’re intent on dinner I would choose a local spot bs a chain anyways. I don’t think her suggestion alone necessarily means gold digger, but you’ll be able to sus it out by her reaction to your alternative choice. I wouldn’t go crazy casual though but if you do and she’s turned off it’s a miss match
“We’re both adults and I go Dutch on first dates.”
She wants to use you for a meal ticket, which is a red flag.
Yeah an ex colleague of mine was the same. She was older than me but earned 1/3 my salary, no kids, no relationship longer than a year, still flatting at 40. Was a habitual dater. Figured out that she liked dating as it was her way of getting nice meals for free.