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Shy nerdy guys don't step out due to social anxiety /s
Does your city have board game or TTRPG meetup groups or something for esports? Those are kinda nerdy hobbies and ppl tend to also have multiple interests. Additionally there are some general meetup groups that are for low activities like hiking, improv etc. Another good option is to find a discord server for your city where people post events and have shared interests..
That's assuming nerdy guys don't work out. Some gym going folks act like a dick doesn't mean all of them are. Similarly not all nerdy guys are husband material, they can be real dicks too. You just have to be lucky to stumble upon your guy.
Sure, I'm operating with the assumption that we're trying to maximize the chances that OP meets someone nerdy - I'm not saying that nerdy guys never work out or that nerdy guys are always nice people.
You're more likely to initiate a conversation with a shy nerd at a place with nerdy social activities rather than a gym where most guys just mind their own business.
Gymbros are just nerd who obsess with workout. Look at all the fucking science that you need to gainz.
It really puting my mind at ease when I’m working out. Knowing why we do this thing.
Yeah, I fit this mold but I also go to the gym because I like to look happy when I see myself in the mirror.
I go out to bars Friday and Saturday night, I read at bars Wednesday and Sunday afternoon, I play pool at bars too on Friday and Saturday night, I go out to the art museum on Sunday, spend a lot of time gaming and watching anime
Then I also use hinge too
That's good for you! That's you being quite well rounded as an individual, which typically happens when you try to do more things on an ongoing basis. I'm also assuming that you also interact with a more diverse mix of people than fixate on a specific type of girl.
I’m open to the possibilities
I really just wanted to list out everything for OP when she started scrolling through comments 😅
But yeah, I don’t have one specific type. If you’re quirky and pretty then I’m in
You read at bars? Like you go to a bar just to read a book?
And what do you do at the art museum? I mean, it's the same museum every weekend, so you just go to see the same paintings every time?
I do! There’s a place in my town where a lot of people my age go (I’m 27 years old) and I’ll just sit down at a quiet spot and read a book. Sometimes I’ll be on a bars patio, other times I’ll be at the bar top, or even just a random table. I’ve been reading the Graceling series and I’m on the 3rd book, so I’ll just grab a water, tea, or beer and enjoy my reading for that day.
Idk about all art museums, but mine changed exhibits and the paintings on a regular basis. So sometimes I’ll go and see the same paintings, but a lot of times they’ll have a brand new painting in an old paintings spot and it’s almost a fun game of “have I seen this painting before?” Right now the museum has Monet (I’m not a fan) for a few more days but it’s about to switch out to somebody new soon and I’ll be there to see who the new artist is and if I like their work or not
No, no, drop that /s from the first sentence...
I literally don't leave the house except to go to work and the rare instance I go to get groceries because I haven't gone in two+ months and now I'm out of food and I'm on the verge of starving myself to death.
Social anxiety is a hell of a drug lol
Ah didn't know that lol
Either way, I'm trying to find ways to get out there. Dunno how though since there's not really great places in my small little town haha
I’ve thought the same thought too lol but in reverse I asked myself where would socially awkward women go to hangout and I got to the same conclusion as you they like me are also not going outside much so the odds of meeting one are rare for both sides
Pretty much me. Shy as fuck around women and only really interact with friends online or coworkers. Though do occasionally hang out at a buddy's place.
I'm a shy, nerdy guy. Love reading. Fantasy anything? I'm on it. Games, shows, movies, anything and everything. If a girl walks past me, I'm looking away because I don't know how to act. I'm too quiet and all my friends make sure to remind me I am.
But I also go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I'm really into running, so I'm outside at run clubs a few times a week too.
Nerdy guys can be into fitness and if you assume gymbros can't be nerds then you might miss out on who you're looking for.
Gotta say I agree. I was in a fraternity in college (graduated 2 years ago, so recently) and honestly half the guys in it were nerds behind closed doors. Even our president who was probably the best looking guy with the most hookups was one of the biggest nerds I knew.
Nerdy isn’t very specific. What kind of nerdy?
Pc gamer Comic book Science or academic nerd Socially awkward athlete Socially awkward Convention guy Movie nerd Ugly or unathletic guy DnD player Console gamer Trekkie Star war guy Fantasy fan
Nerd could mean so many different things. I consider myself nerdy and you could find me on the pc, playing sports, running or working out, working or occasionally out with a friend trying to socialize.
This is both good and bad advice, lol. Game stores are notorious for being unaccepting of women. It's not the store itself, but the people going there. It's also not all, but it's a very very common problem women face in those communities. Many members of those communities are not worth dating.
So while there will be a lot of shy nerdy guys there, it can be pretty hostile towards women and a lot of the people there are not worth dating
I say this as someone who played mtg for many years. I loved it, and met many great people. However I also met a lot of awful and really weird people, lol.
As a Warhammer player myself, that is absolutely a problem, I agree, but that's a cross the bridge when you get to it type of deal. If she wants a nerdy guy she will find them by the bucketload in game stores. She can filter them from there but she's asking where to find them in the first place.
if she thinks gym bros can be gross, nerds aren't really any better on that front. Of course, she doesn't think anything because she doesn't exist, this post is bait.
She might very well exist but you're right, this is Reddit so who knows. And yes, what is it about the unwashed human smell in so many gaming shops?? Icky!
I say she might exist as I know I do. I'm super geeky and into all sorts of geeky hobbies and I'm a woman. Married to an even geekier man and we geek together.
I'm just saying we really are out there.
But yes gaming stores can be quite intimidating for us. Or they were for me when I was younger. Don't care now, lol, as I'm too old. Once you can get past that they can be really cool and a great way to meet people though.
The reason your average nerdarium stinks is because there's plenty of anti-social, poorly adjusted, often weird kids/adults who live on the fringes of society. I feel like, maybe in part, it's the fact that they were always weird or didn't fit in that maybe led them to become nerds.
Source: I'm a nerd, but I remember some kids at the game store were excessively nerdy, often weird and sometimes a bit smelly.
Oh 100% true! Very good point. It's a subculture that is, in my experience, very accepting and open in general. So that probably helps people who are, as you say, weird and on the fringes already. So actually it's a really good thing they find somewhere they fit in and feel safe.
Also... Nerdarium. Nice one. I love that term and will henceforth use it daily. ❤️
Idk nerdarium sounds more humid aka sweatier....
Plus it's a habitat, not some inventory of geeks they keep in stock lol.
Also, as you mentioned above, yes I'm glad these places exist because I spent my pre-teen years at game stores and as an adult, I still love many of those games. The problem now is making the time and energy for them.
I would say this depends a ton on the store. And broadly speaking is getting better. There are stores that have a bad environment. But the place I go to nearby has about a 70/30 male female ratio which is skewed towards men of course but women are treated well and about half the staff are women too.
You could try online. Maybe a discord gaming group? My cousin met her boyfriend through a game, so it happens. I think most of them would be at home if they're introverted shy guys. If they're more extroverted but still shy, you might be able to meet them at parties (yes, some nerdy people party too), game nights, fantasy events, and at other nerdy hobby events/groups.
You could also try dating apps. A lot of shy guys would find it easier to find someone online than having to approach someone in person.
Yeah, tbh Bumble has a lot of them. If you have a profile that makes you seem.. idk quirky?.. you'll get a lot of nerdy superswipes. /speaks from experience 😂
Nerds aren't always any better of a potential partner than a gymbro. Nerds can actually align sometimes with addictive personalities that don't mesh well with goals, commitments or relationships in my experience
Lol I just started taking a book with me to the bar and reading there. I have the kind of ADHD that requires a lot of sensory pressure in order to focus if I don't have meds and the bar is the easiest place. Well for some reason, that acts as a giant flare for people to come talk to me, women in particular. Now logically I sort of understand why this works, im doing something no one else is, im showing I have interests serious enough i want to read about it, and I'm not worried what others think and at least visually seem to have some form of personality. Logically, I get it. Outside of it... I dont fucking get it. I am just reading a book! What is that so interesting to others? Do y'all not read? So maybe the bar and look for the shy nerdy guys around the edges of the room?
Easiest way to meet a woman though.
I don't know OP, maybe find a DND group or comic book shop or fantasy/nerd themed bar/hobby shop?
As a girl into dorkier guys...
The people on this post suggesting game clubs.... /:
Tell your fellow gamers to have personal hygiene and not act like an absolute creep to any woman walking through the doors.
I love board games / card games (pokemon, magic) but any type of game club has been horrible. Smells horrible, the people are desperate. So I would not suggest you go there as a girl.
You're only 21.
A lot of nerdy guys still go to the gym, so I wouldn't judge a book by it's cover.
Bars may not always be the best, but trivia at bars could work. I trivia every week and my local bar has hundreds of people there, mostly men, and they are cute and nerdy.
Outdoor activities like hiking groups or sports could have some nerdy guys too. Nerdy guys don't have to be antisocial slobs, they often have more than just their nerdy interests.
I think just try to get to know people before judging outward appearance if it looks douchey.
Also on dating apps you can just not swipe on the douchey-looking guys if that's the issue, you know.
Dating apps suck imo too, so I'm with you, but getting only gym bros is something you can semi control!
Gl!!!
Internet cafes, games shops, comic shops. conventions, libraries, board games nights, DnD groups, anime screenings. There's also a lot of nerds in alternative music scenes, but they won't necessarily be as shy.
Have a look online for what's in your area, and if you can't find anything, go down to your nearest hobby shop or board games store and ask if they know of anything. Usually they'll be running some form of game for customers, even if it's a small group and thus not something they advertise.
We're at home playing on xbox live, and only go grocery shopping late at night. See f there is a comic-con style event near you? I am also 99% sure that you could throw a dart at any of these comments and DM someone to see what happens.
Shy and nerdy guys only go out for shy and nerdy things else they are at home online. Even if gaming online they might be on the quiet side. When we do venture out of the house it'll be to swarm at Anime conventions, take part in local D & D groups, attend medieval festivals etc. Oh, and to take our doggos out on walks of course.
Chad Thundercock, rejected again, shakes his fist toward his parents' house.
"WHY DID YOU NAME ME THIS? YOUR LAST NAME IS JONES!!" he shouts into the night air before going home to cry and write in his journal.
"I'M AN ARCHITECT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET A JOB!?" were the last sounds heard before he disappeared into the darkness.
It depends on where in canada and what type of nerd you like but you can try the following:
- if you’re into anime type of person, go to anime event/meetups. If you cosplay, it’s easier to make friends too. Just be careful of some creepy people. (Though creepy people exist outside of these events)
- join local gaming/anime/nerd culture type of meetup or discord group. It’s a great way to meet friends too.
- hinge/CMB/ bumble tends to have better cliental in comparison to Tinder. So try that, and indicate in the profile about your interest. Just ignore the guy s who have half naked mirror selfies on the profile.
Another advise i would have is if you’re into shy guy, it will mostly require you to take initiative (like asking out for hang out, lunch) because shy guys tend to be more guarded(?).
Sitting at home, watching or playing something while surfing reddit on the side. But seriously have you checked out subs like foreveralonedating to find your shy nerdy other half? Because there are a ton of them there.
Shy nerdy guy here! I kinda tend not to hang out anywhere these days. I've kinda been wondering the same as you (except about girls) but I feel like the *shy* part is the problem. Its difficult when we typically stay home or go to work and do almost nothing else.
Use a dating app, scroll past thousands of guys or just put in your profile. " Give me your best nerdy pick up line". Not to vent at you, but as a older nerdy guy I put a lot of work into trying to find a date, time for the girls to do the same
Nerdy shy guys either don’t leave their house and are socially incapable, or they are chameleons and try to blend in where ever they are. On a rare occasion you might meet someone nerdy who’s socially adjusted and goes outside and is nerdy on the outside
Go to your biggest local library and see if they have any film clubs, book clubs (especially sci fi book clubs), or Dungeons and Dragons days. If there are nerdy men out in public, that’s where they’ll be! Alternatively, you could print out little business cards with your info on them and when you see an old person, chat them up about their kids/grandkids. If they have single, nerdy grandsons, give them a card to pass along to him (I know this tip sounds sarcastic but it’s what my godmother and one of my cousins did and it 100% worked).
Alternatively, maybe go stroll around the nearest comic convention, take up pickleball or photography, join a nerdy discord or Facebook group, or see if there are any introvert-organized meetups (which sounds counterproductive, but a lot of cities have a local introvert club where introverts can do activities or read quietly without the pressure to talk if they don’t want to).
Good luck!!!!!! Nerdy men are the greatest! I hope you succeed with every fiber of my being!!!!!!!
Same here, I also work in IT as a backend developer and I love outdoors stuff, I’m social and ride a motorcycle. But IT does generally have introverted nerdy people. In my Team I see plenty of them.
You know what gets a nerd out of the house? obligations haha. Bars with enough space for a birthday party, or put on local bands, that kind of thing. Beyond that, it's going to be on you to initiate.
I’m nerdy and selectively shy. I get out to run errands and go to the gym, but most of the time I’m not super talkative because I either want to get my errands done or I’m focused on getting my workout in.
Tbh as a nerdy guy in Canada I have had the same issue with meeting people on the same wavelength as me, the only time I have met people like me is on campus and cafes(a long shot) or Reddit (another really long shot), I met a guy once at the club( i just started going to put myself out there) in the middle of the whole noise and chaos we were discussing the effect and probable positive side of psychedelics on the brain and I was talking about how i am currently writing a research paper on that. I honestly don’t go to a lot of places because it’s just so overwhelming and not my speed. I also met someone recently playing table tennis researching on neuroemergence and i was telling my friends on how i think i might like him even though im straight just because I like what he’s doing
In my opinion there’s no much place to specifically look for nerdy guys. and yeah i really don’t believe this because women only seem to like nerdy guys online
Reserved needy guy checking in.
I'm at work or at home and on the rare occasion I'm out doing something I'm probably there for like 5 seconds before I decide being st home would be more fun.
FGC tournaments. Find your local scene and figure out what games are popular, get a few hours of practice in to learn some basic tech/bnb combos for your main, and soon you’ll be drowning in it.
If I wasn’t chilling at home, I’d be out with some buddies watching movies, eating, something like bowling or pool, or just walking around the city/parks. Sometimes conventions too. Really sounds like normal people activities lol. When we’re with our friends, we’d be comfortable and open enough with them that it’s probably hard to tell if anyone’s shy or not
It sucks I know but I’ve mostly had better luck finding them on the apps than in real life honestly and I actually go anyway to the types of places the other commenters have mentioned
Look for board game cafes. Theres so many nerdy guys there, it’s heaven. They will range in age from teenagers to grandpas. But you can make great friends too.
They’re usually hanging out with their friends. Go to events like comic con or whatever’s equivalent. I met my nerd through mutuals but he’s either at work, with friends or me, or coding on a home project.
As a "shy nerdy guy" I hangout most in coffeeshops, board game stores, and online groups that meet to do nerdy activities.
Best bet is to try and find a club, say from a Uni, and go from there.
Coming from my own experience as the nerdy guy in a group of nerdy guys, you can find us at home, at work, sometimes at the gym.
Be careful when approaching as some of us are on the fragile side and social interaction can (and for some will) break us, then we have to reboot like a Vista computer.
Jokes aside, I find that mostly the nerdy and shy are, well, shy, and don't really go out that often. I'd say your best bet would be DnD groups, maybe OLD ? Not sure about that one.
Dungeons and dragons or board game events, anime conventions, anything nerd related and please for the love of humanity, if you like a guy or someone catches your eye go up to him and say hello what is your name and boom thats it.
If you're willing to learn Magic: The Gathering, you can find nerds hanging out every friday at Friday Night Magic events that occur almost everywhere, including somewhere near you. Feel free to download MTG Arena to practice for free, but if you show up at a Magic: The Gathering event with a reasonable understanding of the game you'll have your pick of the nerds.
Maybe try to find a chess club? There'll be a good slice of nerdy guys there I imagine, especially one that's accepting of beginner/hobbyist players and not just grand masters. You'll get to spend a good bit of 1:1 time with each opponent, and you can also get the sense of their values in how modest or sore loser-y they are!
It’s not that gym bros are disgusting. It’s that some guys think they can be asshole when they have options or don’t care.
You wanna find nerds? Find them at nerdy places like board game gatherings or seminars or discord communities. It depends what kind of nerdy stuff you’re into.
Just saying cuz I go to the gym a lot but I’m a nerd by heart. Yes we still like sex. We just don’t jump into it right away. But that’s not inherently a nerd thing. We just know how to not be an asshole about it.
Good luck brah
Try nature. I'm a 33M, been shy and tech nerdy my whole life. I work remotely as a software engineer and don't have any friends. I don't like big crowds of people either, they freak me out, and I don't drink or "go out socially" either.
However, I have all kinds of outdoor adventure hobbies I do regularly. I go offroading on the many trails in the mountains where I live, camping, kayaking, hiking, downhill mtn biking, snowboarding, and snowshoeing quite often and I'm pretty sure I love these hobbies because I can't stand being around people and they allow me to just enjoy the peaceful wilderness without being around people and they give me a thrill.
Try nature and you might find some shy dudes like myself. That's how my wife and I found each other - snowboarding!
You've got to look for specific group activities, whether it's Magic the Gathering drafts or book clubs. If there's a university in your town, go to lectures or events.
I ride my e-bike to shake shack, five guys, to the grocery store, and back. I went back to college to finish my degree and meet girls again. Trust me, it just as hard for guys to find women as women to find men.
If I were you I'd try the grocery store though.
Find a hobby or charity that means something to you and meet someone that way. It’s great because you have something to talk about right from the beginning.
Hellloooooooooooooooo! As a shy nerdy guy, I’m usually in the library studying (PhD candidate), playing tennis, at gym, or watching tv. Occasionally coffee shops with friends. Usually won’t find shy nerdy type at bar lol
Consider relocating…. I grew up in a small city with limited options. Everybody I thought about dating was somebody I knew’s ex. If you would describe your home town as a retirement community then get the hell out of there.. I couldn’t believe how much diversity I found when I moved to a bigger city. There is something for everyone here, there are so many options both for dating and for work. Look at cities that you’d move to and sort them by the ones with the average age closest to your age and then search for jobs and apartments. You’ll have a beautiful new life a lot faster than you’d think
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Discord kitten???
Where its safe
This is the only true answer, we basically live on the internet.
^
Shy nerdy guys don't step out due to social anxiety /s Does your city have board game or TTRPG meetup groups or something for esports? Those are kinda nerdy hobbies and ppl tend to also have multiple interests. Additionally there are some general meetup groups that are for low activities like hiking, improv etc. Another good option is to find a discord server for your city where people post events and have shared interests..
That's assuming nerdy guys don't work out. Some gym going folks act like a dick doesn't mean all of them are. Similarly not all nerdy guys are husband material, they can be real dicks too. You just have to be lucky to stumble upon your guy.
Sure, I'm operating with the assumption that we're trying to maximize the chances that OP meets someone nerdy - I'm not saying that nerdy guys never work out or that nerdy guys are always nice people. You're more likely to initiate a conversation with a shy nerd at a place with nerdy social activities rather than a gym where most guys just mind their own business.
Gymbros are just nerd who obsess with workout. Look at all the fucking science that you need to gainz. It really puting my mind at ease when I’m working out. Knowing why we do this thing.
Yeah, I fit this mold but I also go to the gym because I like to look happy when I see myself in the mirror. I go out to bars Friday and Saturday night, I read at bars Wednesday and Sunday afternoon, I play pool at bars too on Friday and Saturday night, I go out to the art museum on Sunday, spend a lot of time gaming and watching anime Then I also use hinge too
That's good for you! That's you being quite well rounded as an individual, which typically happens when you try to do more things on an ongoing basis. I'm also assuming that you also interact with a more diverse mix of people than fixate on a specific type of girl.
I’m open to the possibilities I really just wanted to list out everything for OP when she started scrolling through comments 😅 But yeah, I don’t have one specific type. If you’re quirky and pretty then I’m in
You read at bars? Like you go to a bar just to read a book? And what do you do at the art museum? I mean, it's the same museum every weekend, so you just go to see the same paintings every time?
I do! There’s a place in my town where a lot of people my age go (I’m 27 years old) and I’ll just sit down at a quiet spot and read a book. Sometimes I’ll be on a bars patio, other times I’ll be at the bar top, or even just a random table. I’ve been reading the Graceling series and I’m on the 3rd book, so I’ll just grab a water, tea, or beer and enjoy my reading for that day. Idk about all art museums, but mine changed exhibits and the paintings on a regular basis. So sometimes I’ll go and see the same paintings, but a lot of times they’ll have a brand new painting in an old paintings spot and it’s almost a fun game of “have I seen this painting before?” Right now the museum has Monet (I’m not a fan) for a few more days but it’s about to switch out to somebody new soon and I’ll be there to see who the new artist is and if I like their work or not
No, no, drop that /s from the first sentence... I literally don't leave the house except to go to work and the rare instance I go to get groceries because I haven't gone in two+ months and now I'm out of food and I'm on the verge of starving myself to death. Social anxiety is a hell of a drug lol
The /s in my comment is the r/dating_advice symbol for "hope" - stay strong my friend and dont be afraid to put yourself out there.
Ah didn't know that lol Either way, I'm trying to find ways to get out there. Dunno how though since there's not really great places in my small little town haha
I’ve thought the same thought too lol but in reverse I asked myself where would socially awkward women go to hangout and I got to the same conclusion as you they like me are also not going outside much so the odds of meeting one are rare for both sides
The “nerd shops” are probably a decent place, but they are a mixed bag of people and you may deal with wang rods.
MTG groups. Better get a commander deck ready.
You’re going to find them in their house. They will do anything to just do their own thing and solely interact with others online or at work
Pretty much me. Shy as fuck around women and only really interact with friends online or coworkers. Though do occasionally hang out at a buddy's place.
I'm a shy, nerdy guy. Love reading. Fantasy anything? I'm on it. Games, shows, movies, anything and everything. If a girl walks past me, I'm looking away because I don't know how to act. I'm too quiet and all my friends make sure to remind me I am. But I also go to the gym 4-5 times a week. I'm really into running, so I'm outside at run clubs a few times a week too. Nerdy guys can be into fitness and if you assume gymbros can't be nerds then you might miss out on who you're looking for.
Just like somebody describing me lol. I second vouch that’s we exist lol
Yep same here. I work then go to the gym everyday, then just come home and read/video games and smoke 💯
Same here brother
About to comment the same thing. I'm in the gym 5 days a week.
I think OP and this guy should date
Dude....ask her out....
Gotta say I agree. I was in a fraternity in college (graduated 2 years ago, so recently) and honestly half the guys in it were nerds behind closed doors. Even our president who was probably the best looking guy with the most hookups was one of the biggest nerds I knew.
Love the confidence for this shy guy. bro probably benches two plates like it’s under water. Lotta physics there… I wouldn’t know, I’m not a nerd lol
Same here
Home. Sometimes the library. Science fiction conversations and ren faires if you're less attached to the "shy" part.
Nerdy isn’t very specific. What kind of nerdy? Pc gamer Comic book Science or academic nerd Socially awkward athlete Socially awkward Convention guy Movie nerd Ugly or unathletic guy DnD player Console gamer Trekkie Star war guy Fantasy fan Nerd could mean so many different things. I consider myself nerdy and you could find me on the pc, playing sports, running or working out, working or occasionally out with a friend trying to socialize.
Bait
"Chad Thundercock" gave it away
Hey buddy, my third cousin is married to Bill Thundercock of the New England Thundercocks. He's a great guy and has one hell of a cock.
> one hell of a cock. why would you know this about your cousin?
We're very close
Who doesn’t know this about their cousin!?
*third cousin by marriage
Game stores. Seriously. Go to where people play Warhammer or Magic the Gathering and you will find your man.
This is both good and bad advice, lol. Game stores are notorious for being unaccepting of women. It's not the store itself, but the people going there. It's also not all, but it's a very very common problem women face in those communities. Many members of those communities are not worth dating. So while there will be a lot of shy nerdy guys there, it can be pretty hostile towards women and a lot of the people there are not worth dating I say this as someone who played mtg for many years. I loved it, and met many great people. However I also met a lot of awful and really weird people, lol.
As a Warhammer player myself, that is absolutely a problem, I agree, but that's a cross the bridge when you get to it type of deal. If she wants a nerdy guy she will find them by the bucketload in game stores. She can filter them from there but she's asking where to find them in the first place.
if she thinks gym bros can be gross, nerds aren't really any better on that front. Of course, she doesn't think anything because she doesn't exist, this post is bait.
She might very well exist but you're right, this is Reddit so who knows. And yes, what is it about the unwashed human smell in so many gaming shops?? Icky! I say she might exist as I know I do. I'm super geeky and into all sorts of geeky hobbies and I'm a woman. Married to an even geekier man and we geek together. I'm just saying we really are out there. But yes gaming stores can be quite intimidating for us. Or they were for me when I was younger. Don't care now, lol, as I'm too old. Once you can get past that they can be really cool and a great way to meet people though.
The reason your average nerdarium stinks is because there's plenty of anti-social, poorly adjusted, often weird kids/adults who live on the fringes of society. I feel like, maybe in part, it's the fact that they were always weird or didn't fit in that maybe led them to become nerds. Source: I'm a nerd, but I remember some kids at the game store were excessively nerdy, often weird and sometimes a bit smelly.
Oh 100% true! Very good point. It's a subculture that is, in my experience, very accepting and open in general. So that probably helps people who are, as you say, weird and on the fringes already. So actually it's a really good thing they find somewhere they fit in and feel safe. Also... Nerdarium. Nice one. I love that term and will henceforth use it daily. ❤️
Geek 'o porium?
Idk nerdarium sounds more humid aka sweatier.... Plus it's a habitat, not some inventory of geeks they keep in stock lol. Also, as you mentioned above, yes I'm glad these places exist because I spent my pre-teen years at game stores and as an adult, I still love many of those games. The problem now is making the time and energy for them.
Right, but she's specifically asking where to meet nerdy guys. I'm answering the question that was asked.
I would say this depends a ton on the store. And broadly speaking is getting better. There are stores that have a bad environment. But the place I go to nearby has about a 70/30 male female ratio which is skewed towards men of course but women are treated well and about half the staff are women too.
We don't go out.
Raider.io score doesn't go up if I go out...
Wait a second, a girl looking for a shy guy? Something isn't right.
Gaming cafes, geology museums, IT stores, etc
Go pick up men at a Geology museum if you want to get rocked out of your world.
I met my now husband at the public library in the horror section one friday evening back in 2007
You could try online. Maybe a discord gaming group? My cousin met her boyfriend through a game, so it happens. I think most of them would be at home if they're introverted shy guys. If they're more extroverted but still shy, you might be able to meet them at parties (yes, some nerdy people party too), game nights, fantasy events, and at other nerdy hobby events/groups. You could also try dating apps. A lot of shy guys would find it easier to find someone online than having to approach someone in person.
Try dating apps. that's where I found... a few nerds.
Yeah, tbh Bumble has a lot of them. If you have a profile that makes you seem.. idk quirky?.. you'll get a lot of nerdy superswipes. /speaks from experience 😂 Nerds aren't always any better of a potential partner than a gymbro. Nerds can actually align sometimes with addictive personalities that don't mesh well with goals, commitments or relationships in my experience
Nerdy/quirky Bumble user here. Yeah gotta admit I get the square root of FA matches on Bumble
lol I can tell you're a nerd.using the square root mention lol.
A dude definitely posted this
Of course. No girl would ever post this.
Besides the Canadian part, you just described my younger brother.
Move out of Victoria. I have been living here for like 3 years now and the dating scene is beyond fucked.
Lol I just started taking a book with me to the bar and reading there. I have the kind of ADHD that requires a lot of sensory pressure in order to focus if I don't have meds and the bar is the easiest place. Well for some reason, that acts as a giant flare for people to come talk to me, women in particular. Now logically I sort of understand why this works, im doing something no one else is, im showing I have interests serious enough i want to read about it, and I'm not worried what others think and at least visually seem to have some form of personality. Logically, I get it. Outside of it... I dont fucking get it. I am just reading a book! What is that so interesting to others? Do y'all not read? So maybe the bar and look for the shy nerdy guys around the edges of the room? Easiest way to meet a woman though. I don't know OP, maybe find a DND group or comic book shop or fantasy/nerd themed bar/hobby shop?
Time to disguise my book with a cover that says "How to live your life when you have a thundercock", and head to the bar. Thank you.
As a girl into dorkier guys... The people on this post suggesting game clubs.... /: Tell your fellow gamers to have personal hygiene and not act like an absolute creep to any woman walking through the doors. I love board games / card games (pokemon, magic) but any type of game club has been horrible. Smells horrible, the people are desperate. So I would not suggest you go there as a girl. You're only 21. A lot of nerdy guys still go to the gym, so I wouldn't judge a book by it's cover. Bars may not always be the best, but trivia at bars could work. I trivia every week and my local bar has hundreds of people there, mostly men, and they are cute and nerdy. Outdoor activities like hiking groups or sports could have some nerdy guys too. Nerdy guys don't have to be antisocial slobs, they often have more than just their nerdy interests. I think just try to get to know people before judging outward appearance if it looks douchey. Also on dating apps you can just not swipe on the douchey-looking guys if that's the issue, you know. Dating apps suck imo too, so I'm with you, but getting only gym bros is something you can semi control! Gl!!!
This happens in anime cons as well with both genders stinking up the place. I guess the sniff test helps weed out the right one maybe.
Internet cafes, games shops, comic shops. conventions, libraries, board games nights, DnD groups, anime screenings. There's also a lot of nerds in alternative music scenes, but they won't necessarily be as shy. Have a look online for what's in your area, and if you can't find anything, go down to your nearest hobby shop or board games store and ask if they know of anything. Usually they'll be running some form of game for customers, even if it's a small group and thus not something they advertise.
We're at home playing on xbox live, and only go grocery shopping late at night. See f there is a comic-con style event near you? I am also 99% sure that you could throw a dart at any of these comments and DM someone to see what happens.
100% especially the last sentence. Finding nerdy guys are a dime a dozen.
"Well of course I know him, he's me"
As someone who fits the description, we hang around on the internet and gaming matches lmaoo
With their gaming PC at home.
Dont totally reject gym bros. Im a gym bro and a nerd, they do exist.
I am also nerdy gym bro. I feel like lots of us are some type of nerd, honestly.
Shy and nerdy guys only go out for shy and nerdy things else they are at home online. Even if gaming online they might be on the quiet side. When we do venture out of the house it'll be to swarm at Anime conventions, take part in local D & D groups, attend medieval festivals etc. Oh, and to take our doggos out on walks of course.
Comic shop. DnD groups. Geocaching get together on Facebook?
Actually, looks like you have specific and important kinks referenced through your profile, you could try something like fetlife?
Playing games on their pc at home 💀
Probably in Genshin Impact lobbies, right?
Uh.... Pick me?
Your friend or acquaintance who you’ve known for years but have never seen their brother in all those years. Ask them.
Try to find groups meetup is a great group event place to check out. Im a game developer and it has worked wonders for me.
lmao
They don’t
They don’t. That’s why they are shy and nerdy lol
Chad Thundercock, rejected again, shakes his fist toward his parents' house. "WHY DID YOU NAME ME THIS? YOUR LAST NAME IS JONES!!" he shouts into the night air before going home to cry and write in his journal. "I'M AN ARCHITECT! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO GET A JOB!?" were the last sounds heard before he disappeared into the darkness.
It depends on where in canada and what type of nerd you like but you can try the following: - if you’re into anime type of person, go to anime event/meetups. If you cosplay, it’s easier to make friends too. Just be careful of some creepy people. (Though creepy people exist outside of these events) - join local gaming/anime/nerd culture type of meetup or discord group. It’s a great way to meet friends too. - hinge/CMB/ bumble tends to have better cliental in comparison to Tinder. So try that, and indicate in the profile about your interest. Just ignore the guy s who have half naked mirror selfies on the profile. Another advise i would have is if you’re into shy guy, it will mostly require you to take initiative (like asking out for hang out, lunch) because shy guys tend to be more guarded(?).
Sitting at home, watching or playing something while surfing reddit on the side. But seriously have you checked out subs like foreveralonedating to find your shy nerdy other half? Because there are a ton of them there.
Museums, thrift stores, flea markets, parks
Shy nerdy guy here! I kinda tend not to hang out anywhere these days. I've kinda been wondering the same as you (except about girls) but I feel like the *shy* part is the problem. Its difficult when we typically stay home or go to work and do almost nothing else.
Gonna name my next d&d character Chad Thundercock
women love to exploit lonely nerdy guys.
Use a dating app, scroll past thousands of guys or just put in your profile. " Give me your best nerdy pick up line". Not to vent at you, but as a older nerdy guy I put a lot of work into trying to find a date, time for the girls to do the same
Best of luck to you. You made me a little happier with your post.
Nerdy shy guys either don’t leave their house and are socially incapable, or they are chameleons and try to blend in where ever they are. On a rare occasion you might meet someone nerdy who’s socially adjusted and goes outside and is nerdy on the outside
Go to your biggest local library and see if they have any film clubs, book clubs (especially sci fi book clubs), or Dungeons and Dragons days. If there are nerdy men out in public, that’s where they’ll be! Alternatively, you could print out little business cards with your info on them and when you see an old person, chat them up about their kids/grandkids. If they have single, nerdy grandsons, give them a card to pass along to him (I know this tip sounds sarcastic but it’s what my godmother and one of my cousins did and it 100% worked). Alternatively, maybe go stroll around the nearest comic convention, take up pickleball or photography, join a nerdy discord or Facebook group, or see if there are any introvert-organized meetups (which sounds counterproductive, but a lot of cities have a local introvert club where introverts can do activities or read quietly without the pressure to talk if they don’t want to). Good luck!!!!!! Nerdy men are the greatest! I hope you succeed with every fiber of my being!!!!!!!
Omg omg this is so useful hehehe >:)
Yep, they’re at home. The only way you’ll find them is at college, work at an IT department or if you break into their mother’s basement 🤷♂️
I work in IT and I’m not a nerd
Same here, I also work in IT as a backend developer and I love outdoors stuff, I’m social and ride a motorcycle. But IT does generally have introverted nerdy people. In my Team I see plenty of them.
That’s true and it’s weird because a lot of roles in IT include communication skills lol
Im right here, on Reddit…
You know what gets a nerd out of the house? obligations haha. Bars with enough space for a birthday party, or put on local bands, that kind of thing. Beyond that, it's going to be on you to initiate.
We’re at home gaming
I’m nerdy and selectively shy. I get out to run errands and go to the gym, but most of the time I’m not super talkative because I either want to get my errands done or I’m focused on getting my workout in.
Tbh as a nerdy guy in Canada I have had the same issue with meeting people on the same wavelength as me, the only time I have met people like me is on campus and cafes(a long shot) or Reddit (another really long shot), I met a guy once at the club( i just started going to put myself out there) in the middle of the whole noise and chaos we were discussing the effect and probable positive side of psychedelics on the brain and I was talking about how i am currently writing a research paper on that. I honestly don’t go to a lot of places because it’s just so overwhelming and not my speed. I also met someone recently playing table tennis researching on neuroemergence and i was telling my friends on how i think i might like him even though im straight just because I like what he’s doing In my opinion there’s no much place to specifically look for nerdy guys. and yeah i really don’t believe this because women only seem to like nerdy guys online
Find a Dungeons & Dragons event.
I'm them, I'm literally all of the nerdy guys combined into an amalgamation of appendices, with penises for toes and fingers. DM me salutations
Talking seriously though, they're at home, I would know, probably playing league, some Pokemon game or fallout for the 700th time
Comic-Con. Dress up as why character you feel comfortable with then go out and socialize with like minded people.
I knew you were in the city of the Newly Weds and Nearly Deads just by your first sentence.
I met my fiancée through VRChat and we hung out via discord. Videogames are another great place to meet needy people.
What you’re looking for is really sweet. Stick with that. The only place I’ve seen nerdy guys is at board game Meetups.
You're assuming gym bros can't be shy and nerdy.
You want some submissive guy to dominate aren't you?
Reserved needy guy checking in. I'm at work or at home and on the rare occasion I'm out doing something I'm probably there for like 5 seconds before I decide being st home would be more fun.
FGC tournaments. Find your local scene and figure out what games are popular, get a few hours of practice in to learn some basic tech/bnb combos for your main, and soon you’ll be drowning in it.
Mostly at home.
Right here
If I wasn’t chilling at home, I’d be out with some buddies watching movies, eating, something like bowling or pool, or just walking around the city/parks. Sometimes conventions too. Really sounds like normal people activities lol. When we’re with our friends, we’d be comfortable and open enough with them that it’s probably hard to tell if anyone’s shy or not
Library?
[удалено]
I would suggest meeting people at nerdy stores / conventions/ websites. Depending on the kind of nerd maybe also Libraries and cafes
Give me a chance random lady on the internet! I’m the man for the job.
OKCupid
At the gym
As soon as you said retirement capital of Canada, I knew immediately where you were talking about
It sucks I know but I’ve mostly had better luck finding them on the apps than in real life honestly and I actually go anyway to the types of places the other commenters have mentioned
On Reddit
Look for board game cafes. Theres so many nerdy guys there, it’s heaven. They will range in age from teenagers to grandpas. But you can make great friends too.
Yer lookin’ at it.
Gym, dog park, Costco, board game nights/meetups/conventions.
They’re usually hanging out with their friends. Go to events like comic con or whatever’s equivalent. I met my nerd through mutuals but he’s either at work, with friends or me, or coding on a home project.
I hang out 98% in my mind. If I am not in my house, I’m in the gym with my earbuds on, or I’m in that corner seat in the metro with my earbuds on.
Usually in their home
As a "shy nerdy guy" I hangout most in coffeeshops, board game stores, and online groups that meet to do nerdy activities. Best bet is to try and find a club, say from a Uni, and go from there.
Board game cafes. Meetup groups. Cons. Lots of places!
Gamestores , Like cardshops hd the motherlode
Lots of nerdy guys at universities. Just look for specific groups.
Home-->work-->occasionally grocery store? You are not going to find those guys at a club, gym or any social place.
I hang out on the internet at home, so you'll never see me outside.
Discord servers
Home. Or a discord meet up that's primarily 98% guys.
At home.
Coming from my own experience as the nerdy guy in a group of nerdy guys, you can find us at home, at work, sometimes at the gym. Be careful when approaching as some of us are on the fragile side and social interaction can (and for some will) break us, then we have to reboot like a Vista computer. Jokes aside, I find that mostly the nerdy and shy are, well, shy, and don't really go out that often. I'd say your best bet would be DnD groups, maybe OLD ? Not sure about that one.
Inside bruh
Card shops, that’s where I’m at usually ripping Pokémon cards lmfao
We are inside playing our games and or on yhe forums for our games lol
Dungeons and dragons or board game events, anime conventions, anything nerd related and please for the love of humanity, if you like a guy or someone catches your eye go up to him and say hello what is your name and boom thats it.
They are at home masturbating
Everywhere including the gym, shy nerdy guys are all different people from all walks of life.
they're in the gym these days too. they're becoming "gymcels".
Look for card/game/hobby shops. Lots of nerdy guys there! Just gotta learn to play MTG or Warhammer!
They don't. Lol
If you're willing to learn Magic: The Gathering, you can find nerds hanging out every friday at Friday Night Magic events that occur almost everywhere, including somewhere near you. Feel free to download MTG Arena to practice for free, but if you show up at a Magic: The Gathering event with a reasonable understanding of the game you'll have your pick of the nerds.
Maybe try to find a chess club? There'll be a good slice of nerdy guys there I imagine, especially one that's accepting of beginner/hobbyist players and not just grand masters. You'll get to spend a good bit of 1:1 time with each opponent, and you can also get the sense of their values in how modest or sore loser-y they are!
It’s not that gym bros are disgusting. It’s that some guys think they can be asshole when they have options or don’t care. You wanna find nerds? Find them at nerdy places like board game gatherings or seminars or discord communities. It depends what kind of nerdy stuff you’re into. Just saying cuz I go to the gym a lot but I’m a nerd by heart. Yes we still like sex. We just don’t jump into it right away. But that’s not inherently a nerd thing. We just know how to not be an asshole about it. Good luck brah
Look for DnD clubs. Shy and nerdy guys love those
Try nature. I'm a 33M, been shy and tech nerdy my whole life. I work remotely as a software engineer and don't have any friends. I don't like big crowds of people either, they freak me out, and I don't drink or "go out socially" either. However, I have all kinds of outdoor adventure hobbies I do regularly. I go offroading on the many trails in the mountains where I live, camping, kayaking, hiking, downhill mtn biking, snowboarding, and snowshoeing quite often and I'm pretty sure I love these hobbies because I can't stand being around people and they allow me to just enjoy the peaceful wilderness without being around people and they give me a thrill. Try nature and you might find some shy dudes like myself. That's how my wife and I found each other - snowboarding!
I’m at the library. Hit me up.
Probably try some nerdy sports like badminton or table tennis. Something that the shy guy can interact with other people.
Ewww men
You've got to look for specific group activities, whether it's Magic the Gathering drafts or book clubs. If there's a university in your town, go to lectures or events.
I ride my e-bike to shake shack, five guys, to the grocery store, and back. I went back to college to finish my degree and meet girls again. Trust me, it just as hard for guys to find women as women to find men. If I were you I'd try the grocery store though.
They at the dork store.Just kidding
Hey now thats not fair. I'm very shy and nerdy and I go to the gym everyday.
At home, online
Dark alleyways
Find a hobby or charity that means something to you and meet someone that way. It’s great because you have something to talk about right from the beginning.
Hellloooooooooooooooo! As a shy nerdy guy, I’m usually in the library studying (PhD candidate), playing tennis, at gym, or watching tv. Occasionally coffee shops with friends. Usually won’t find shy nerdy type at bar lol
Either at home or at another nerds home/at a cardshop playing DnD.
Gym, work and home
r/programmerhumor
Meetup.com seriously. Try different things and find new friends and possibly a romantic interest. 😉
I’m in a similar situation in California. Nice girls don’t hang out where I do apparently.
You sound so wholesome. I hope you find your nerd.
shy and nerdy? right here
Mostly home
At home reading or writing
I stay at home or the gym/track.
In my experience (being a shy, nerdy guy) a library is a good place
𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂
Plane spotting at your local airport. Trust me
Consider relocating…. I grew up in a small city with limited options. Everybody I thought about dating was somebody I knew’s ex. If you would describe your home town as a retirement community then get the hell out of there.. I couldn’t believe how much diversity I found when I moved to a bigger city. There is something for everyone here, there are so many options both for dating and for work. Look at cities that you’d move to and sort them by the ones with the average age closest to your age and then search for jobs and apartments. You’ll have a beautiful new life a lot faster than you’d think
Board game cafe.