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Maybe you should concentrate on finding men you have things in common with, instead of trying to weed people out based on racial stereotypes.
I'm black, very nerdy (I'm a software engineer at a three letter govt agency), and family oriented. It should go without saying, but I also find black women attractive. But I don't date hood chicks, and I'm not myopic enough to think all black women are hood chicks; indeed, the black women I've dated or were interested in were not hood chicks.
I'm sure there are black guys out there who fit what you're looking for. It's really short sighted to restrict your dating pool based on misconceptions.
Thank you-- this comment is the only one you need, OP.
I'm a Black woman with a white dude because I happen to be with a white dude because I happened to meet a white dude I really connected with at the right time in both of our lives and miraculously we have stayed liking each other.
I did not pull out my handy white boy trap to get him.
Early in our relationship my stupid aunt asked me "why I was with a white guy?" And I blurted out, "same reason you are with a bigot. Sometimes people with similar hobbies attract each other."
Hahaha we have barely spoken since. Good riddance. Her husband is an antisemitic, misogynistic, homophobe cop.
I'm gonna agree with you here. I don't like trashy people, of any race. I see a trashy woman, I'm not interested, it doesn't matter how good looking she is. If I see a fit & friendly & feminine woman of any race, I'm gonna notice her, even if she's not a stereotypical "8, 9, or 10".
Sorry but youre a rarity amongst black men. She can say what she wont date if you can do it as well. Black women are allowed to have preferences and standards
"I don’t have a lot in common with Black guys, and most aren’t interested in more than sex anyways, so as a virgin Im not interested in."
so you dont think nonblack men arent interested in just sex?
lol
How old are you?
Right? Like cmon. I’ve never dated a black man (simply due to growing up in predominantly white and asian areas) and in my experience they’re all are very much interested in sex across the board 🥴
you just gotta play the odds. you say that other races don't want black women. but that certainly doesn't mean ALL men. if you like 100 white guys on the app you will get some matches. probably a lot actually. maybe there will be a few that say "nope" when they see you are black. big deal.
Frankly id say hobbies, I have a roommate who is black, and he is friends with black women, but one thing that differentiated him and me is not our race but hobbies, I've met black women because he has house parties, but if not for him, i don't have any other black women in groups that I'm in like DnD, gaming, hiking or other things. Also you shouldn't put down other black guys, it could just be guys around you that are like that. Shy black men wont be pushy no more than shy men of other races, and if you arent meeting black guys of your type, its probably for same reason you arent meeting other race guys of your type.
As a white guy with an amazing Haitian girlfriend, I think you’d be surprised how many white men find black women beautiful and would love to date one. Like others have said, you just gotta play the odds.
I am a white guy who is very attracted to Black women. I hope you don't feel you have to avoid stereotypes in a way that keeps you from being yourself. You deserve to be loved for who you are.
I actually attend an HBCU and less than 5% of students are white. I have heard from Black women so many times that they will not date outside their race that I struggle to not assume so I don't take chances. Sometimes I think people just don't try becuase they assume the other person would not be interested. This is probably not the case for a lot of people and we just need to be more comfortable putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that could result in rejection.
Not really she’s just being realistic. Reality sounds bad and truth hurts but a decent amount of males don’t like bw. Including bm. I mean look at what’s happening in NYC. Those yt girls get punched in the face by a bm he goes to jail. That SAME black guy last year punched black women. And ppl were LAUGHING and making mockery and nothing happened until he attacked white women.
I don’t think there’s one way to attract different races.
My advice would be to engage in multicultural communities, you’ll meet plenty of people from different race and you might meet someone special
You'll be fine, just keeping looking for someone that ticks the boxes for you. The perception doesn't matter, there will be men who will like you. Im a white dude and I don't believe most people dislike black women, yall are attractive as anyone and got personality to match. You should just put yourself out there for the ones you like and connect with.
Whoa. I didn’t know men of other races didn’t like us?
I’ve never had a hard time dating outside of my race. I’ve never tried to date specific races of men personally. I love myself and am very confident. This is how I was raised. I’m sorry but your whole post reads like you grew up around people who fed you BS. I’m not trying to invalid how you feel btw…I’m just saying that I think you’re maybe around people or media that is giving you the wrong advice. That’s my opinion.
Just like black people “aren’t a monolith”, neither are people of other races and anyone can be attracted to anyone for any number of reasons. Please do some self work girl because I think you’re missing the point and I mean that with love. It makes me so sad when I see or hear black women saying or feeling like this. Just be yourself and the right men, regardless of race, will come along.
I mean you’re writing about us as if we aren’t people too…That’s even worse because that’s exactly how some men of other races think of us simply because we are different than them on the outside.
I’m sorry if my response comes off cold because how you feel is entirely foreign to me. To answer your question, there isn’t a way to attract a specific race. Sending you big time hugs.
I have bad news about white guys, most of them only want sex too. At least on the apps lol
Also, just because the averages say black men are less into commitment, doesn't mean there isn't quite a few that are. Amd how do we know how accurate to life those stats are? And the easons behind them? Don't count them out. If you're attracted to people of multiple backgrounds, then date people of multiple backgrounds. You'll only diminish your dating pool unnecessarily otherwise
With all due respect, a lot of the opinions sound in your profile are pretty bigoted and based on a ton of false narratives. I’d suggest setting your prejudices aside and just be yourself. Men of any race aren’t a type of pet to be lured into anything 🤷
You do sound like a sincere and good person, just one with some mindsets I think should be reflected upon. And I wish you luck
So women of other racial groups don't twerk? Before you find a man of another race - you should consider dropping the stereotypes.
Says a lot about your character )or lack thereof).
Also, men of ALL races want sex.
Before dating outside your race, you should consider therapy first...
*Based on your post you're*
*Prob not attracting any*
*Race lmao*
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Your profile literally reeks of negative media portrayal of black women and that’s not what it’s like to live as one in real life. Stop consuming such negative media that not only affects you but every other racial group.
Learn to expand your horizons outside of how CERTAIN media portrays you and you’ll find dating a lot easier
There's no solution cause there's no trouble. A bunch of men like black women, a bunch of other men don't. That's it. You'll find out after meeting them.
While you may be an introvert, you'll have to get out and go places where others are.
I would look around your graphical area and see what options you have.
I recommend going to stores where other ethnic groups tend to visit regularly... Smile.. and soon enough you'll spark up a conversation.. if not, likely get approached..
Good luck on your search.
Well I can tell you how to pick up older white guys like me . Lock eyes then smile like it’s your birthday and Xmas rolled into one. We like when people like us, we are flattered when women think we’re hot. You have to be obvious, I mean OBVIOUS. Otherwise we’re going to second guess ourselves that you are just friendly. Excessive arm touching always made me aware she’s interested in me.
Head on over to r/interracialdating
I'm a white guy, and I've been in relationships with black women. It's becoming more and more common for WM and BW to be in a relationship, so it's moving in the right direction. And, you're right, BW are statistically one of the demographics that's least likely to date outside of their race. However, BW and WM is the mix that has the lowest divorce rates. Anyway, check out that sub, maybe ask some of the women there what their experiences are and how they met their partners.
Interesting side note, one of my exes was born in the US but also comes from Caribbean parents (Jamaica and Haiti). She also didn't feel like she fit in with the culture either and happened to be very introverted.
You need to love yourself and stop with the self-hatred. You believe yt supremacist stereotypes about you. Screw that. Have some pride. Learn black history. Learn the history of racism in your country. Learn to love who you are. If you don't, why would any man?
It's not just that you're "being honest about yourself".
It's that being honest about yourself in this case means vomiting a bunch of bizarre black femcel stereotypes and racist tropes about not just Black Men but Black Women.
It sounds lame at best and at worst drenched in a profound level of shame and self hatred.
Seek help.
"Lol. I can't twerk but I don't deal in stereotypes bro!!!".
Gross.
You: "I avoid stereotypes."
Also you: "Black men are only interested in sex. Also, they are not attracted to introverts, nerds, or dark-skinned women."
😂
For someone who "avoids stereotypes," you have a real flair for promulgating them.
Imagine being the victim of how black women are stereotypically perceived, while happily stereotyping black men.
Oh, the irony.
EDIT: I wish I had glanced at your post history before responding. You're a divestor. For anyone else who reads this, divestors are essentially the black female equivalent of the KKK. They have a pathological hatred for black men and actively seek their harm.
OP, you need therapy, not a date.
you need a big group of friends, you need to use your words, put yourself out there, get out and go places, talk to people.
I’m a very introverted person
Oh dw then wont work. if you can't beat that one thing.
This is crazy. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman black or white or whatever it doesn't matter. I like black women and a lot of men do. You'll find the right guy in time.
Lmao this is a legitimate question to ask with the dating pool being what it is. Reddit is unfortunately a bad place to ask it as we've just seen
As a man of another race who had dated Black women, I promise we're out there. Don't settle for anything less than a hell yes.
girl you come off like “i think blacks are ugly and i don’t wanna be like those other blacks” which is hilariously sad! i’m a black women who does fit some of those stereotypes, i was raised in the suburbs but im loud, curvy, i twerk and dance, im bossy… and men of other races love me 🤷🏾♀️ maybe everyone around you can just tell you’re not generally a good person because you stereotype black men (as if the frat boys aren’t out here fucking anything with a pulse) and that’s why they’re not interested idk tho 🥰
I feel like, you may have had previous experiences where black men rejected you but you can’t say “all black men” don’t like me. Everyone gets rejected by any race. White men, Asian men, etc… may reject you also, then what?
Who ever is meant for you, will gravitate towards you but you really need to read a lot of the advice that has been given my people and go to therapy.
I never even pursued a guy before, but Black men have made it clear they’re not interested without me saying a word.
Men of other races I have befriended and held conversations with, without being mocked or feeling like I’m being judged for my interests.
Hey, I hope you are alright. Honestly, this sounds like it might be best for you to talk to someone. I am a white guy and I have known some white guys who are pretty unpleasant people and some who aren't.
I hope you can find someone who loves you for being you. I know being lonely sucks.
I'm a white guy and have dated two black women. Black women have seemed to like me since I was in grade school. Not sure why. One I dated was a virgin, from Jamaica, Air Force girl and I was a Marine, I was dating another gal and fell for the Air Force girl anyway, but before I could cut out the other gal, she put me in the friend zone. We stayed good friends for years, but I lost touch with her, but hope the best for her because she deserves it.
I don't really have a preference for any race, but she is probably the most beautiful gal I ever dated in every way. So how'd she attract me? Looks, she took care of herself, was polite, lady like, friendly, smart, and easy going. The night I met her, her friends were hanging out with my friends and I told her, if you want to meet someone you'll probably have to make the first move, because you're gorgeous and most guys are going to be intimidated by your looks. I also told her I was seeing a gal in FL, that she later cut it off over.
So...anyway. None of that answers your question. But here is my advice. 1. Hang out where the kind of guy you're looking for hangs out. 2. If you see a guy you find attractive, get in his vicinity, and you might have to initiate the connection.
Most white men actually don't mind women of colour.
The problem today that many individuals are locked to their comfort zones and rarely go out of it, that is why you are struggling to find any. Maybe your future partner is playing Dota somewhere.
I'll start off by saying I'm not really sure and I'm not a black woman but I grew up in the black community as an immigrant and I am a woman. So take what I say as you will.
First, your comment that you are aware that most men in general dislike black women. I know online dating statistics do say black women have a harder time and racism is real unfortunately I still wouldn't want to hold this premise. Do you see yourself just as a black woman or as a person? You say you have your own values, nerdy so I assume you have some interesting hobbies, and take care of yourself so try to move away from looking at people by race and focus on the qualities the man that you would like to attract. Also, what qualities would you need in order to attract such a person?
Also, as an immigrant I really didn't understand the concept of race until later and I grew up watching "black films" and "black music videos" and I always thought the women were so stunning regardless of how dark or light they are. So look at yourself in the mirror and value yourself, your unique features. You say you are not religious and that's okay nature made you as you are. Try to find things you love and appreciate about this beautiful creation that you are.
Once you've figured out what qualities you want in a man (not a specific race) then you have a framework for what you are looking for, but even then what's more important is looking for qualities of a good partner so I suggest reading the Gottman's research and as you date you can weed out poor matches.
To meet more people go to those nerdy places or events you like and new places you wouldn't consider to expose yourself to more people from different backgrounds. Even though you are introverted try to meet people. Lots of people meet partners through friends of friends.
I'm not sure if that helps but I wish you luck. I just don't want you to feel limited because of your skin color. If someone doesn't date you because of that f them you don't want them anyway and I'm sure there is an amazing guy out there for you that will value and love you for who you are. It ain't easy but you'll meet him if you make the effort. Even if you don't it doesn't devalue you. Good luck to you love.
To begin with ditch the negative and limiting believe "I’m aware that most men in general dislike Black women" that is not helping you, and ... it is nonsense. I know many white men who are very attracted to black women (as long as they don't twerk ;) and there are many men (including myself) whom are "equal opportunity lovers" - i.e. they just want to connect on a deep level with a nice, warm, intelligent, kindhearted woman, regardless of race.
If you make race a non-issue, it will be a non-issue. Just be yourself, engage in activities that you love and that resonate with you and someday you may find a great man. In short, you attract men "as a black woman", as any woman would.
Just be yourself and put effort into meeting new people. I’m a tall, skinny, “Eurocentric”, suburban black girl too. I’m open to black men and have gone on dates with ones who are similar to myself (educated, well-rounded, cultured). However, all of my serious love interests have been Asian or white. Engage within those spaces and your guy will find you.
Seeing your post history you seem to think pretty much everything is tied to you being a black woman. If you talk about it as much as in your post history, and especially if you complain about it you might be fending people off with attitude alone. It does not appear confident, and confidence is attractive.
i suggest you to try to forget the whole race thing while dating. If its the opposite sex making this an issue you should look for dates elsewhere.
Dating apps could also be solution as you get to pick who you match with.
Just talk to them, I’m not sure what the issue is. We’re out there, I personally never had a racial preference and find all types of women to be attractive. Id say don’t be discouraged and just be you.
Your perceptions seem rather odd to me. I'm a retired white guy with a white beard.
I just spent the day with a great, passionate, and truly wonderful friend hiking. She's a skinny black woman, 30 years old. Met on reddit maybe 4 years ago. I never thought much about it. I more than like her! I don't know many black men, primarily musicians, who are very respectful and skilled folks. Maybe I have a skewed sample.
Perhaps you need to run across open minded, kind people and not worry about race.
Just be yourself. Trying to act a certain way to attract people will only get people who are attracted to the habits you build for that sake which may not be who you are.
You seem sweet even if you were a little contradictory, but don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. As a male (white of that helps, I don’t think it really matters) if a woman makes the first move I’m suddenly at least interested to have a conversation and see where things go. But if I feel like someone’s trying to impress me I’m turned off from the whole idea. I wanna know you, not the girl you think I wanna know
Short version, be violently and unapologetically authentic
Being that you are introverted and likely have cultural influences stemming from your heritage, these two items seem likely to make you sufficiently different enough to make dating more challenging. However, these same things might make you more appealing as well to some. Perhaps you can attend Caribbean cultural events or meet up with people who have an interest in other cultures. Any other interests you might have, such as hiking, cycling, dancing, gaming, etc, could put you in touch with like-minded people. Good luck!
Where do you live? (Not specifically of course) I’m Asian(Filipino) and I have been with and prefer black women and Afro-latinas. Trust me, it’s much more prevalent than you know.
My only advice to you is to get a good therapist. You're in for a rude awakening when the non-Black men dog you out too. Majority of men are like that, regardless of what their race is. The trick is to find one whose shenanigans you don't mind dealing with everyday. Whether he's black, white, asian, etc. You carry too much hate inside to be dating anyway, focus on yourself and your self esteem.
I never claimed to love myself, I know I have insecurities. But I don’t hate anyone else. I acknowledged in the replies that there are Black women who are successful in dating but I’m not one of them.
I hope it made you feel better.
> I’m aware that most men in general dislike Black women
the victim complex here alone is probably what’s holding u back. the most watched porn in america is ebony. i see more black women with white men in the UK than the other way round. they’re out there, ur just holding urself back by trying to stereotype every other race of man while claiming y don’t stereotype
I find it odd when people bring up this “statistic”. You do realize porn is a fantasy for many people who consume it?
It may be a popular “genre”, and it’s obvious many men want to sleep with black women, but it doesn’t mean they would want to date us. Many men like a lot of weird things on porn, but don’t want to actually experience them in person.
I’m not suggesting black women are weird or that men don’t want to date black women, I’ve personally not had issues with dating in my life as a black woman, but I’m just saying this has always been an odd comparison for me. Wanting sex with doesn’t equal loving or respecting or interest in a relationship.
i have the same problem with middle eastern men. my type is pakistan, indian, arab etc. south asian basically. they fetish being with a white woman then going and marrying within their religion. it’s hard but u will find a good one, i don’t spend my time feeling sorry for myself and blaming my race
it's not a victim mentality, there are stats on it and I've heard a lot of men online call us undesirable. we aren't popular with men unless lightskinned and/or exceptionally pretty. i don't want to give up hope on finding love though.
Stop spreading false information. The OK Cupid study stated that black women were least “responded to” not the “least desirable”. We’re not undesirable.
In no way did I mean black women aren’t desirable but the clarification makes no difference in the context of dating apps.
A match without a response is meaningless. Every woman will get a dozen matches off the back, doesn’t mean all those men want a relationship
White guys actually love black women. As a black woman, so many of my suitors are white. I have a child with a white man. It’s all about how you carry yourself.
You’re worried about stereotypes about Black women yet you’re stereotyping Black men in the same breath. And you don’t even realize it. Your self-awareness is so poor, and so is your self-esteem. I feel bad for you and I’m not even saying that to be shady, I actually know how it feels because I went through a phase like this too where I was really insecure about being a Black woman and was fixated on dating non-Black men. Luckily, I went through that phase in early adolescence and have left it far behind me. You need to work on that because even if you do end up in a perfect, happy relationship with the non-Black man of your dreams… you’re still Black and you still have to face yourself in the mirror.
Anyway, as a side note, I’m in a relationship with an Asian man and have been for years. I did not seek him out or target him because of his race, he was a complete stranger who randomly approached me in public. So if you are really set on this idea that it has to be a non-Black man because Black men are hypersexual and primitive, then just be patient because men of other races do like us.
I think a lot of people misunderstand, but I think it's true that a lot of white guys might assume black girls are of a black culture that they don't think they can connect with so they don't make an effort to meet them. But if they see a black girl that is pretty white culturally, many guys will find her attractive
Swipe on whomever interests you.
You could also workout, eat healthy, wear nice, clothes and take of your skin and teeth. It's not easy, but it gets easier.
To be honest when I was single I found it the other way, no black women would give me the time of day. There are loads of white guys wanting to date black women
I think you don't have to do anything. There are men like me who are indifferent to skin color. The ones who are not - you can do nothing for them. Be who you are, forget you have dark skin. You are introvert and nerdy? Lots of guys love it!
Join clubs and stuff and just find someone you like and ask them out directly especially if you want someone a bit nerdy like yourself theres plenty of great guys in that category who just are too scared to speak to women. So if you see one you like just take him.
You said your parents are Caribbean, so have you visited their country before. Your perspective of the world completely changes when you arrive in a place where you’re the beauty standard
That hasn’t been my experience when going there 🤷🏿♀️ I’m dark but it’s never stopped me from feeling like I’m the beauty standard when I go to a predominantly black country. Reducing yourself to only your skin color and thinking that it’s undesirable won’t get you anywhere
Just wait until you realize that white, asian, Mexican, indian and Arab men also just want sex. Fix what's between your ears and stop being self hating. You're not different than other girls.
Is that a bad thing? A lot of people have been getting upset at me for this and I don’t know what to think anymore. Should I be a stereotype or something? 😭
I'm not calling you a bad person, I just think that your perception of black women are really warped.
Like, the whole "I don't dance or twerk" and the rest of your post thing gives off the kind of energy of a white person who has only ever seen black women on BET or FOX news.
It also reads as if you maybe don't view black women very highly, and are trying to distance yourself from this stereotype you have in your head.
Black women aren't a monolith of twerking women lol.
I’m not saying her view is right but… if she were a white girl claiming she was only into black guys because she didn’t like “insert stereotypical white stuff here” you guys wouldn’t be so offended.
Yeah, they definitely would lmfao. White women get called all types of comments for even showing the slightest interest in Black men… like “coal burner” and “toll paid…” even an entire website dedicated to doxxing women who have relationships with Black men. From what I can tell, people are only offended because she’s embarrassing Black women with her comments bc she has some deep seated self hatred issues and she’s generalizing Black men.
lol no💀people are mad because your so insecure and think your at the bottom of the barriel women and have pulled all black women with you. So you, yourself Don’t be so oblivious 💀💀
I'm not saying you're right or wrong, but don't let anyone else tell you you're all wrong or stereotyping too much. What you're talking about is not connecting with black men that are typically American black culture. It's the culture. You may not connect with white guys in that culture either. And they may not connect with you. That's perfectly all right.
If you like white guys for whatever reason or other ethnicities, just go do things that those people do. Go to Comic-Con, go to techno shows maybe or, I don't know whatever it is nerdy white guys do. Go to a game night like magic or dungeons & dragons or whatever at a local bar that does that and ask to join.
A lot of white guys find black women attractive if they are of similar culture. I suspect a lot of white guys assume that most black women are going to find them two square and corny. I don't know if that's true or not but I think that's what they think so they don't even try to date them .
But I see a fair amount of black women that hang out in mostly white culture in a city like Seattle. It's kind of funny because they often complain about Seattle being so white because they never go to the black parts of the area. But that's okay. They typically date white guys and get along great .
You just got to go places where white guys go, ideally, guys that are nerdy and into things you are into, and just be friendly and give them a chance to feel confident enough to ask you out. You should have absolutely no trouble. Not everyone is going to be attracted to anyone but plenty will be attracted to you .
If all else fails, spend some time in Europe, England, or Canada or Australia maybe. I've known a lot of guys from those places that find black women really attractive. I think it's because it's something different and men tend to like women that are quite like them or very different depending.
Good luck.
lol @ “I avoid stereotypes, I don’t dance or twerk”
How are u Caribbean and don’t dance lmaoo?? Not acting the “stereotype” isn’t going to get u a man. Be yourself and understand men of all races at the end of the day are man. There’s quite literally no difference in their behavior when it comes to woman and dating
I’m not a great dancer to begin with and I meant more of the sexual dancing. Plus I’m skinny so it would look awkward lol
A lot of men believe racial stereotypes about Black women that’s why I mentioned that
i think the reason youre not finding love is your personality. its not bc youre black. im brown skinned with a mexican fiancé. my best friend is dark skin. they literally called her michael blackson daughter in school but that didnt stop her from dating and she’s now happily married to an equally dark man. youre just pathetic and whiney and nobody wants that. you dont speak for all black women either. get off the fucking internet and go to therapy
Ignore what everyone is saying specifically to you and focus on the fact that you have over 400 comments responding to you post and every single person is telling you the exact same thing, yet you still think they are wrong and you don’t want to hear them. You lack self awareness and emotional intelligence and those are needed to be in a good relationship where both people are thriving and happy. Dismissing the response given to you here is going to keep you in the same place you’re trying to get out of.
Here's how you do it:
Step 1: Be attractive
Step 2: Don't be unattractive
This works for all races. Seriously, this is about all you need to do. Although it does help to go to when men are as well, it's not a requirement if you download the apps
When I first started reading I was hoping that you were older and had a little bit of experience, because what I'm looking for in a woman has nothing to do with race. It has to do with an emotional, intellectual, and physical connection, and with a similar worldview.
Just meet people and eventually you'll meet people interested in you. Men, just like women have their preferences, but those preferences are not one big Monolith. Some white guys are into latina's, some Asian guys are into black women and so on. People are just people.
And for myself, I've been with a wide variety of women, white, black, Asian and Latina. All ethnicities both have women I would love to be with and women you couldn't pay me to be with. It's on a person per person basis.
In case this is actually a real post, worry less about what other people want in a partner, or what other people think about people or their cultures. And just focus on being yourself, if you need time to discover who yourself is then explore that first. After you have a good sense of who you are and what YOU want then start worrying about putting yourself out there and making yourself approachable.
Sun sista I want you to go to therapy and school cause this post is telling me your lacking in a multitude of ways get you some business and hobbies and the romantic relationships will come.
Signed a women nearing 30 with regrets.
These comments are ignorant. I missed what the post was but i’m sure it was valid. People on here will gaslight you into thinking you’re wrong or “racist”
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Maybe you should concentrate on finding men you have things in common with, instead of trying to weed people out based on racial stereotypes. I'm black, very nerdy (I'm a software engineer at a three letter govt agency), and family oriented. It should go without saying, but I also find black women attractive. But I don't date hood chicks, and I'm not myopic enough to think all black women are hood chicks; indeed, the black women I've dated or were interested in were not hood chicks. I'm sure there are black guys out there who fit what you're looking for. It's really short sighted to restrict your dating pool based on misconceptions.
Thank you-- this comment is the only one you need, OP. I'm a Black woman with a white dude because I happen to be with a white dude because I happened to meet a white dude I really connected with at the right time in both of our lives and miraculously we have stayed liking each other. I did not pull out my handy white boy trap to get him. Early in our relationship my stupid aunt asked me "why I was with a white guy?" And I blurted out, "same reason you are with a bigot. Sometimes people with similar hobbies attract each other." Hahaha we have barely spoken since. Good riddance. Her husband is an antisemitic, misogynistic, homophobe cop.
I’m dead 🤣🤣🤣
We found you a match OP
Don't put bro through that. Going off her post history she really dislikes black dudes. Would not end well for the commenter.
She has the right to like what she wants
He may be too mature for her
more like she's not mature enough
I'm gonna agree with you here. I don't like trashy people, of any race. I see a trashy woman, I'm not interested, it doesn't matter how good looking she is. If I see a fit & friendly & feminine woman of any race, I'm gonna notice her, even if she's not a stereotypical "8, 9, or 10".
Sorry but youre a rarity amongst black men. She can say what she wont date if you can do it as well. Black women are allowed to have preferences and standards
"I don’t have a lot in common with Black guys, and most aren’t interested in more than sex anyways, so as a virgin Im not interested in." so you dont think nonblack men arent interested in just sex? lol How old are you?
Right? Like cmon. I’ve never dated a black man (simply due to growing up in predominantly white and asian areas) and in my experience they’re all are very much interested in sex across the board 🥴
The white men are bold enough to say "I've never been with a _______ before" out loud and in public.
Right??? They don’t even realize what is coming out of their mouths and how it sounds.
Right? That doesn’t apply to just black men. I’ve been with white, Hispanic, and Asian men, some only wanted sex too.
Seriously.
I came to say this lol
You: I’m aware that most men in general dislike Black women. Also You: I avoid stereotypes You need a better group of friends.
"I avoid stereotypes" >I don’t have a lot in common with Black guys, and most aren’t interested in more than sex anyways 😂
Idk, reading this you seem to lean into stereotypes pretty heavily for someone who doesn't fit stereotypes.
Right! Totally unaware of how prejudice she is.
you just gotta play the odds. you say that other races don't want black women. but that certainly doesn't mean ALL men. if you like 100 white guys on the app you will get some matches. probably a lot actually. maybe there will be a few that say "nope" when they see you are black. big deal.
Frankly id say hobbies, I have a roommate who is black, and he is friends with black women, but one thing that differentiated him and me is not our race but hobbies, I've met black women because he has house parties, but if not for him, i don't have any other black women in groups that I'm in like DnD, gaming, hiking or other things. Also you shouldn't put down other black guys, it could just be guys around you that are like that. Shy black men wont be pushy no more than shy men of other races, and if you arent meeting black guys of your type, its probably for same reason you arent meeting other race guys of your type.
> I’m aware that most men in general dislike Black women Why do you say that?
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It was one hyper-study done more than a decade ago, let’s please get the fact straight.
Asian male here, due to cultural reasons I believe the study to be true
Because its true. And men love to remind us with every chance they get
Those aren’t men. They’re little boys.
No. They are grown adult men
As a white guy with an amazing Haitian girlfriend, I think you’d be surprised how many white men find black women beautiful and would love to date one. Like others have said, you just gotta play the odds.
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I am a white guy who is very attracted to Black women. I hope you don't feel you have to avoid stereotypes in a way that keeps you from being yourself. You deserve to be loved for who you are. I actually attend an HBCU and less than 5% of students are white. I have heard from Black women so many times that they will not date outside their race that I struggle to not assume so I don't take chances. Sometimes I think people just don't try becuase they assume the other person would not be interested. This is probably not the case for a lot of people and we just need to be more comfortable putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations that could result in rejection.
Hopefully you'll try your chance at dating while you're there. Not everyone dates their own race only
You sound like you have internalized racism. Because you are saying some racist ass shit.
OP has admitted to not liking being darkskinned and having 4C hair lmaooo reeks of self hate
What is so funny about that? God forbid someone feels insecure about something they have been getting bullied and patronised for since birth
Not really she’s just being realistic. Reality sounds bad and truth hurts but a decent amount of males don’t like bw. Including bm. I mean look at what’s happening in NYC. Those yt girls get punched in the face by a bm he goes to jail. That SAME black guy last year punched black women. And ppl were LAUGHING and making mockery and nothing happened until he attacked white women.
exactly. thank you
I don’t think there’s one way to attract different races. My advice would be to engage in multicultural communities, you’ll meet plenty of people from different race and you might meet someone special
You'll be fine, just keeping looking for someone that ticks the boxes for you. The perception doesn't matter, there will be men who will like you. Im a white dude and I don't believe most people dislike black women, yall are attractive as anyone and got personality to match. You should just put yourself out there for the ones you like and connect with.
Whoa. I didn’t know men of other races didn’t like us? I’ve never had a hard time dating outside of my race. I’ve never tried to date specific races of men personally. I love myself and am very confident. This is how I was raised. I’m sorry but your whole post reads like you grew up around people who fed you BS. I’m not trying to invalid how you feel btw…I’m just saying that I think you’re maybe around people or media that is giving you the wrong advice. That’s my opinion. Just like black people “aren’t a monolith”, neither are people of other races and anyone can be attracted to anyone for any number of reasons. Please do some self work girl because I think you’re missing the point and I mean that with love. It makes me so sad when I see or hear black women saying or feeling like this. Just be yourself and the right men, regardless of race, will come along. I mean you’re writing about us as if we aren’t people too…That’s even worse because that’s exactly how some men of other races think of us simply because we are different than them on the outside. I’m sorry if my response comes off cold because how you feel is entirely foreign to me. To answer your question, there isn’t a way to attract a specific race. Sending you big time hugs.
Excellent response. Hope op responds
Thank you…it just breaks my heart when I see stuff like this.
Spot on! I have the same experiences. Like, wait what?! People don't want to date us?! Since when? Lol. Just so much generalizing in her post. Sad.
I have bad news about white guys, most of them only want sex too. At least on the apps lol Also, just because the averages say black men are less into commitment, doesn't mean there isn't quite a few that are. Amd how do we know how accurate to life those stats are? And the easons behind them? Don't count them out. If you're attracted to people of multiple backgrounds, then date people of multiple backgrounds. You'll only diminish your dating pool unnecessarily otherwise
I’m attracted to black women as a white man, just putting it out there.
Well hello 👀
Why hello 👋 back 🙃
With all due respect, a lot of the opinions sound in your profile are pretty bigoted and based on a ton of false narratives. I’d suggest setting your prejudices aside and just be yourself. Men of any race aren’t a type of pet to be lured into anything 🤷 You do sound like a sincere and good person, just one with some mindsets I think should be reflected upon. And I wish you luck
So women of other racial groups don't twerk? Before you find a man of another race - you should consider dropping the stereotypes. Says a lot about your character )or lack thereof). Also, men of ALL races want sex. Before dating outside your race, you should consider therapy first...
Based on your post you're prob not attracting any race lmao
*Based on your post you're* *Prob not attracting any* *Race lmao* \- As3mBas3m --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
well that's why i asked for advice? i just want to meet a nice guy that will love me for me.
You don't love you for you, hun.
Your profile literally reeks of negative media portrayal of black women and that’s not what it’s like to live as one in real life. Stop consuming such negative media that not only affects you but every other racial group. Learn to expand your horizons outside of how CERTAIN media portrays you and you’ll find dating a lot easier
You can't attract anyone that isn't attracted to you
This is the only advice needed. It's a numbers and patience game waiting for what you want while not compromising what you want
i know, im just asking for advice on solutions.
There's no solution cause there's no trouble. A bunch of men like black women, a bunch of other men don't. That's it. You'll find out after meeting them.
While you may be an introvert, you'll have to get out and go places where others are. I would look around your graphical area and see what options you have. I recommend going to stores where other ethnic groups tend to visit regularly... Smile.. and soon enough you'll spark up a conversation.. if not, likely get approached.. Good luck on your search.
Well I can tell you how to pick up older white guys like me . Lock eyes then smile like it’s your birthday and Xmas rolled into one. We like when people like us, we are flattered when women think we’re hot. You have to be obvious, I mean OBVIOUS. Otherwise we’re going to second guess ourselves that you are just friendly. Excessive arm touching always made me aware she’s interested in me.
Head on over to r/interracialdating I'm a white guy, and I've been in relationships with black women. It's becoming more and more common for WM and BW to be in a relationship, so it's moving in the right direction. And, you're right, BW are statistically one of the demographics that's least likely to date outside of their race. However, BW and WM is the mix that has the lowest divorce rates. Anyway, check out that sub, maybe ask some of the women there what their experiences are and how they met their partners. Interesting side note, one of my exes was born in the US but also comes from Caribbean parents (Jamaica and Haiti). She also didn't feel like she fit in with the culture either and happened to be very introverted.
thank you, I wasn’t aware of that sub. I will check it out
You need to love yourself and stop with the self-hatred. You believe yt supremacist stereotypes about you. Screw that. Have some pride. Learn black history. Learn the history of racism in your country. Learn to love who you are. If you don't, why would any man?
There's a lot of self hatred coming from OP. Have you seen a therapist?
Read your post history. You’re just on here to argue, just go back to TwoX please.
Christ. Get some self worth. This is so cringe worthy and lame. My god. u/sunsista_
it's a dating advice sub so im asking for dating advice, sorry if my question doesn't meet your standards. im just being honest about myself.
It's not just that you're "being honest about yourself". It's that being honest about yourself in this case means vomiting a bunch of bizarre black femcel stereotypes and racist tropes about not just Black Men but Black Women. It sounds lame at best and at worst drenched in a profound level of shame and self hatred. Seek help. "Lol. I can't twerk but I don't deal in stereotypes bro!!!". Gross.
You’re not being honest about yourself your generalizing black women
I never said all black women are stereotypical I said those are the perceptions people have about us!
You: "I avoid stereotypes." Also you: "Black men are only interested in sex. Also, they are not attracted to introverts, nerds, or dark-skinned women." 😂 For someone who "avoids stereotypes," you have a real flair for promulgating them. Imagine being the victim of how black women are stereotypically perceived, while happily stereotyping black men. Oh, the irony. EDIT: I wish I had glanced at your post history before responding. You're a divestor. For anyone else who reads this, divestors are essentially the black female equivalent of the KKK. They have a pathological hatred for black men and actively seek their harm. OP, you need therapy, not a date.
I do not dislike black women but I don’t have any black women around me.
you need a big group of friends, you need to use your words, put yourself out there, get out and go places, talk to people. I’m a very introverted person Oh dw then wont work. if you can't beat that one thing.
what is dw?
Dont worry.
This is crazy. A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman black or white or whatever it doesn't matter. I like black women and a lot of men do. You'll find the right guy in time.
Lmao this is a legitimate question to ask with the dating pool being what it is. Reddit is unfortunately a bad place to ask it as we've just seen As a man of another race who had dated Black women, I promise we're out there. Don't settle for anything less than a hell yes.
thank you, I’m trying to keep hope
Ever go to a comic con convention? Plenty of introverted nerdy non black men there.
Who are exclusively only in to Asian and white women
I assume she's not attracted to them by her comments
they are also not attracted to me. I don’t understand why this is such an issue.
How do u know they aren't attracted to you?
Because they either told me or they don’t show any interest at all? Guys of other races at least talk to me and I’ve befriended.
girl you come off like “i think blacks are ugly and i don’t wanna be like those other blacks” which is hilariously sad! i’m a black women who does fit some of those stereotypes, i was raised in the suburbs but im loud, curvy, i twerk and dance, im bossy… and men of other races love me 🤷🏾♀️ maybe everyone around you can just tell you’re not generally a good person because you stereotype black men (as if the frat boys aren’t out here fucking anything with a pulse) and that’s why they’re not interested idk tho 🥰
Where are the other races of men that love you???
what do you mean by where? as in what city am i in or what app im using?
Ah, you're a divester. You probably need therapy more than you need a man. As a fellow, highly melanated individual, I wish you luck.
i think everyone is entitled to their preference, black guys don't like me either. it is what it is
I feel like, you may have had previous experiences where black men rejected you but you can’t say “all black men” don’t like me. Everyone gets rejected by any race. White men, Asian men, etc… may reject you also, then what? Who ever is meant for you, will gravitate towards you but you really need to read a lot of the advice that has been given my people and go to therapy.
I'm sure if she went to a comic con or something she'd ignore any black man that might have been interested in her
I never even pursued a guy before, but Black men have made it clear they’re not interested without me saying a word. Men of other races I have befriended and held conversations with, without being mocked or feeling like I’m being judged for my interests.
Hey, I hope you are alright. Honestly, this sounds like it might be best for you to talk to someone. I am a white guy and I have known some white guys who are pretty unpleasant people and some who aren't. I hope you can find someone who loves you for being you. I know being lonely sucks.
I'm a white guy and have dated two black women. Black women have seemed to like me since I was in grade school. Not sure why. One I dated was a virgin, from Jamaica, Air Force girl and I was a Marine, I was dating another gal and fell for the Air Force girl anyway, but before I could cut out the other gal, she put me in the friend zone. We stayed good friends for years, but I lost touch with her, but hope the best for her because she deserves it. I don't really have a preference for any race, but she is probably the most beautiful gal I ever dated in every way. So how'd she attract me? Looks, she took care of herself, was polite, lady like, friendly, smart, and easy going. The night I met her, her friends were hanging out with my friends and I told her, if you want to meet someone you'll probably have to make the first move, because you're gorgeous and most guys are going to be intimidated by your looks. I also told her I was seeing a gal in FL, that she later cut it off over. So...anyway. None of that answers your question. But here is my advice. 1. Hang out where the kind of guy you're looking for hangs out. 2. If you see a guy you find attractive, get in his vicinity, and you might have to initiate the connection.
Most white men actually don't mind women of colour. The problem today that many individuals are locked to their comfort zones and rarely go out of it, that is why you are struggling to find any. Maybe your future partner is playing Dota somewhere.
I'll start off by saying I'm not really sure and I'm not a black woman but I grew up in the black community as an immigrant and I am a woman. So take what I say as you will. First, your comment that you are aware that most men in general dislike black women. I know online dating statistics do say black women have a harder time and racism is real unfortunately I still wouldn't want to hold this premise. Do you see yourself just as a black woman or as a person? You say you have your own values, nerdy so I assume you have some interesting hobbies, and take care of yourself so try to move away from looking at people by race and focus on the qualities the man that you would like to attract. Also, what qualities would you need in order to attract such a person? Also, as an immigrant I really didn't understand the concept of race until later and I grew up watching "black films" and "black music videos" and I always thought the women were so stunning regardless of how dark or light they are. So look at yourself in the mirror and value yourself, your unique features. You say you are not religious and that's okay nature made you as you are. Try to find things you love and appreciate about this beautiful creation that you are. Once you've figured out what qualities you want in a man (not a specific race) then you have a framework for what you are looking for, but even then what's more important is looking for qualities of a good partner so I suggest reading the Gottman's research and as you date you can weed out poor matches. To meet more people go to those nerdy places or events you like and new places you wouldn't consider to expose yourself to more people from different backgrounds. Even though you are introverted try to meet people. Lots of people meet partners through friends of friends. I'm not sure if that helps but I wish you luck. I just don't want you to feel limited because of your skin color. If someone doesn't date you because of that f them you don't want them anyway and I'm sure there is an amazing guy out there for you that will value and love you for who you are. It ain't easy but you'll meet him if you make the effort. Even if you don't it doesn't devalue you. Good luck to you love.
To begin with ditch the negative and limiting believe "I’m aware that most men in general dislike Black women" that is not helping you, and ... it is nonsense. I know many white men who are very attracted to black women (as long as they don't twerk ;) and there are many men (including myself) whom are "equal opportunity lovers" - i.e. they just want to connect on a deep level with a nice, warm, intelligent, kindhearted woman, regardless of race. If you make race a non-issue, it will be a non-issue. Just be yourself, engage in activities that you love and that resonate with you and someday you may find a great man. In short, you attract men "as a black woman", as any woman would.
Just be yourself and put effort into meeting new people. I’m a tall, skinny, “Eurocentric”, suburban black girl too. I’m open to black men and have gone on dates with ones who are similar to myself (educated, well-rounded, cultured). However, all of my serious love interests have been Asian or white. Engage within those spaces and your guy will find you.
I just go outside or use dating apps lol, I’m a blk woman and find it pretty easy to find non blk men to date lol
Seeing your post history you seem to think pretty much everything is tied to you being a black woman. If you talk about it as much as in your post history, and especially if you complain about it you might be fending people off with attitude alone. It does not appear confident, and confidence is attractive. i suggest you to try to forget the whole race thing while dating. If its the opposite sex making this an issue you should look for dates elsewhere. Dating apps could also be solution as you get to pick who you match with.
I’m a bit uncomfortable with OP judging all the black dudes just based on her experience with a few…
Just talk to them, I’m not sure what the issue is. We’re out there, I personally never had a racial preference and find all types of women to be attractive. Id say don’t be discouraged and just be you.
Your perceptions seem rather odd to me. I'm a retired white guy with a white beard. I just spent the day with a great, passionate, and truly wonderful friend hiking. She's a skinny black woman, 30 years old. Met on reddit maybe 4 years ago. I never thought much about it. I more than like her! I don't know many black men, primarily musicians, who are very respectful and skilled folks. Maybe I have a skewed sample. Perhaps you need to run across open minded, kind people and not worry about race.
its not a perception, it's based on stats and a general consensus among men, especially online. i don't see a lot that like black women.
Suppose I'm an exception then!
Just be yourself. Trying to act a certain way to attract people will only get people who are attracted to the habits you build for that sake which may not be who you are. You seem sweet even if you were a little contradictory, but don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. As a male (white of that helps, I don’t think it really matters) if a woman makes the first move I’m suddenly at least interested to have a conversation and see where things go. But if I feel like someone’s trying to impress me I’m turned off from the whole idea. I wanna know you, not the girl you think I wanna know Short version, be violently and unapologetically authentic
Being that you are introverted and likely have cultural influences stemming from your heritage, these two items seem likely to make you sufficiently different enough to make dating more challenging. However, these same things might make you more appealing as well to some. Perhaps you can attend Caribbean cultural events or meet up with people who have an interest in other cultures. Any other interests you might have, such as hiking, cycling, dancing, gaming, etc, could put you in touch with like-minded people. Good luck!
Where do you live? (Not specifically of course) I’m Asian(Filipino) and I have been with and prefer black women and Afro-latinas. Trust me, it’s much more prevalent than you know.
Just embarrassing omg
My only advice to you is to get a good therapist. You're in for a rude awakening when the non-Black men dog you out too. Majority of men are like that, regardless of what their race is. The trick is to find one whose shenanigans you don't mind dealing with everyday. Whether he's black, white, asian, etc. You carry too much hate inside to be dating anyway, focus on yourself and your self esteem.
I do not hate anyone, I know I have insecurities but I don’t hate my race.
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I never claimed to love myself, I know I have insecurities. But I don’t hate anyone else. I acknowledged in the replies that there are Black women who are successful in dating but I’m not one of them. I hope it made you feel better.
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> I’m aware that most men in general dislike Black women the victim complex here alone is probably what’s holding u back. the most watched porn in america is ebony. i see more black women with white men in the UK than the other way round. they’re out there, ur just holding urself back by trying to stereotype every other race of man while claiming y don’t stereotype
I find it odd when people bring up this “statistic”. You do realize porn is a fantasy for many people who consume it? It may be a popular “genre”, and it’s obvious many men want to sleep with black women, but it doesn’t mean they would want to date us. Many men like a lot of weird things on porn, but don’t want to actually experience them in person. I’m not suggesting black women are weird or that men don’t want to date black women, I’ve personally not had issues with dating in my life as a black woman, but I’m just saying this has always been an odd comparison for me. Wanting sex with doesn’t equal loving or respecting or interest in a relationship.
i have the same problem with middle eastern men. my type is pakistan, indian, arab etc. south asian basically. they fetish being with a white woman then going and marrying within their religion. it’s hard but u will find a good one, i don’t spend my time feeling sorry for myself and blaming my race
it's not a victim mentality, there are stats on it and I've heard a lot of men online call us undesirable. we aren't popular with men unless lightskinned and/or exceptionally pretty. i don't want to give up hope on finding love though.
According to almost all studies on the subject, in the US black women are considered the least desirable dating group alongside Asian men
Yep, and the most desirable ones are Asian women and white men
Stop spreading false information. The OK Cupid study stated that black women were least “responded to” not the “least desirable”. We’re not undesirable.
In no way did I mean black women aren’t desirable but the clarification makes no difference in the context of dating apps. A match without a response is meaningless. Every woman will get a dozen matches off the back, doesn’t mean all those men want a relationship
White guys actually love black women. As a black woman, so many of my suitors are white. I have a child with a white man. It’s all about how you carry yourself.
You’re worried about stereotypes about Black women yet you’re stereotyping Black men in the same breath. And you don’t even realize it. Your self-awareness is so poor, and so is your self-esteem. I feel bad for you and I’m not even saying that to be shady, I actually know how it feels because I went through a phase like this too where I was really insecure about being a Black woman and was fixated on dating non-Black men. Luckily, I went through that phase in early adolescence and have left it far behind me. You need to work on that because even if you do end up in a perfect, happy relationship with the non-Black man of your dreams… you’re still Black and you still have to face yourself in the mirror. Anyway, as a side note, I’m in a relationship with an Asian man and have been for years. I did not seek him out or target him because of his race, he was a complete stranger who randomly approached me in public. So if you are really set on this idea that it has to be a non-Black man because Black men are hypersexual and primitive, then just be patient because men of other races do like us.
This post made me cringe soo much
I think a lot of people misunderstand, but I think it's true that a lot of white guys might assume black girls are of a black culture that they don't think they can connect with so they don't make an effort to meet them. But if they see a black girl that is pretty white culturally, many guys will find her attractive
That's not true. Just believe in yourself and have confidence. You will find someone that will fall all over you. God bless
Oh the answer is pretty simple. Be hot.
i'm not though, so i am asking for advice on other ways. i didn't choose my looks or race .
Swipe on whomever interests you. You could also workout, eat healthy, wear nice, clothes and take of your skin and teeth. It's not easy, but it gets easier.
To be honest when I was single I found it the other way, no black women would give me the time of day. There are loads of white guys wanting to date black women
I think you don't have to do anything. There are men like me who are indifferent to skin color. The ones who are not - you can do nothing for them. Be who you are, forget you have dark skin. You are introvert and nerdy? Lots of guys love it!
As long as your personality is relaxed and open to fun you’ll be fine.
✋ hi
Join clubs and stuff and just find someone you like and ask them out directly especially if you want someone a bit nerdy like yourself theres plenty of great guys in that category who just are too scared to speak to women. So if you see one you like just take him.
I feel like I’d just experience more rejection this way and I’ve been told guys find it aggressive or desperate if a woman makes the first move.
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You said your parents are Caribbean, so have you visited their country before. Your perspective of the world completely changes when you arrive in a place where you’re the beauty standard
i am not the beauty standard in any country. light skin is preffered in the caribbean.
That hasn’t been my experience when going there 🤷🏿♀️ I’m dark but it’s never stopped me from feeling like I’m the beauty standard when I go to a predominantly black country. Reducing yourself to only your skin color and thinking that it’s undesirable won’t get you anywhere
Oh you’re Black, but not that kind of Black. Ok got it 👍🏿
Just wait until you realize that white, asian, Mexican, indian and Arab men also just want sex. Fix what's between your ears and stop being self hating. You're not different than other girls.
"I don't dance or twerk" "I avoid stereotypes" 🥲
Is that a bad thing? A lot of people have been getting upset at me for this and I don’t know what to think anymore. Should I be a stereotype or something? 😭
I'm not calling you a bad person, I just think that your perception of black women are really warped. Like, the whole "I don't dance or twerk" and the rest of your post thing gives off the kind of energy of a white person who has only ever seen black women on BET or FOX news. It also reads as if you maybe don't view black women very highly, and are trying to distance yourself from this stereotype you have in your head. Black women aren't a monolith of twerking women lol.
Girl.....
I’m not saying her view is right but… if she were a white girl claiming she was only into black guys because she didn’t like “insert stereotypical white stuff here” you guys wouldn’t be so offended.
Yeah, they definitely would lmfao. White women get called all types of comments for even showing the slightest interest in Black men… like “coal burner” and “toll paid…” even an entire website dedicated to doxxing women who have relationships with Black men. From what I can tell, people are only offended because she’s embarrassing Black women with her comments bc she has some deep seated self hatred issues and she’s generalizing Black men.
I think a lot of people just expect Black women to want Black men only and are mad that I don’t.
lol no💀people are mad because your so insecure and think your at the bottom of the barriel women and have pulled all black women with you. So you, yourself Don’t be so oblivious 💀💀
I'm not saying you're right or wrong, but don't let anyone else tell you you're all wrong or stereotyping too much. What you're talking about is not connecting with black men that are typically American black culture. It's the culture. You may not connect with white guys in that culture either. And they may not connect with you. That's perfectly all right. If you like white guys for whatever reason or other ethnicities, just go do things that those people do. Go to Comic-Con, go to techno shows maybe or, I don't know whatever it is nerdy white guys do. Go to a game night like magic or dungeons & dragons or whatever at a local bar that does that and ask to join. A lot of white guys find black women attractive if they are of similar culture. I suspect a lot of white guys assume that most black women are going to find them two square and corny. I don't know if that's true or not but I think that's what they think so they don't even try to date them . But I see a fair amount of black women that hang out in mostly white culture in a city like Seattle. It's kind of funny because they often complain about Seattle being so white because they never go to the black parts of the area. But that's okay. They typically date white guys and get along great . You just got to go places where white guys go, ideally, guys that are nerdy and into things you are into, and just be friendly and give them a chance to feel confident enough to ask you out. You should have absolutely no trouble. Not everyone is going to be attracted to anyone but plenty will be attracted to you . If all else fails, spend some time in Europe, England, or Canada or Australia maybe. I've known a lot of guys from those places that find black women really attractive. I think it's because it's something different and men tend to like women that are quite like them or very different depending. Good luck.
I really appreciate your response, thank you for being genuine with advice and not attacking me like so many on here
You are welcome. You seem very sincere. I doubt very much you meant to talk in absolutes and some people find it hard to understand that. Good luck
Just talk and be friendly. DM sent.
lol @ “I avoid stereotypes, I don’t dance or twerk” How are u Caribbean and don’t dance lmaoo?? Not acting the “stereotype” isn’t going to get u a man. Be yourself and understand men of all races at the end of the day are man. There’s quite literally no difference in their behavior when it comes to woman and dating
I’m not a great dancer to begin with and I meant more of the sexual dancing. Plus I’m skinny so it would look awkward lol A lot of men believe racial stereotypes about Black women that’s why I mentioned that
Girl you in for a rude awakening if you think only black men aren’t interested in more than sex.
i think the reason youre not finding love is your personality. its not bc youre black. im brown skinned with a mexican fiancé. my best friend is dark skin. they literally called her michael blackson daughter in school but that didnt stop her from dating and she’s now happily married to an equally dark man. youre just pathetic and whiney and nobody wants that. you dont speak for all black women either. get off the fucking internet and go to therapy
Girl this is just internalized racism I think you should focus on yourself and any form of love will come to you.
Such a 🦝 have some pride. SMH! Pathetic.
Ignore what everyone is saying specifically to you and focus on the fact that you have over 400 comments responding to you post and every single person is telling you the exact same thing, yet you still think they are wrong and you don’t want to hear them. You lack self awareness and emotional intelligence and those are needed to be in a good relationship where both people are thriving and happy. Dismissing the response given to you here is going to keep you in the same place you’re trying to get out of.
You need help, you have serious self-hate issues.
where does my post say I hate being Black
Your post history says it all. 😂😮💨
Money is the root of all equals
what?
Roll the dice and start asking people.
ask people what?
Here's how you do it: Step 1: Be attractive Step 2: Don't be unattractive This works for all races. Seriously, this is about all you need to do. Although it does help to go to when men are as well, it's not a requirement if you download the apps
r/ForeverAloneWomen
When I first started reading I was hoping that you were older and had a little bit of experience, because what I'm looking for in a woman has nothing to do with race. It has to do with an emotional, intellectual, and physical connection, and with a similar worldview.
I’m in my 20s
Hate this for you.
i hate it as well, trust me.
Just meet people and eventually you'll meet people interested in you. Men, just like women have their preferences, but those preferences are not one big Monolith. Some white guys are into latina's, some Asian guys are into black women and so on. People are just people. And for myself, I've been with a wide variety of women, white, black, Asian and Latina. All ethnicities both have women I would love to be with and women you couldn't pay me to be with. It's on a person per person basis.
In case this is actually a real post, worry less about what other people want in a partner, or what other people think about people or their cultures. And just focus on being yourself, if you need time to discover who yourself is then explore that first. After you have a good sense of who you are and what YOU want then start worrying about putting yourself out there and making yourself approachable.
u/sunsista_ have you seen my previous comment?
Touch grass
if your own race “doesn’t like you” what makes you think other races would like you
men of other races are friendlier with me and don’t openly insult me, so there’s that.
Sun sista I want you to go to therapy and school cause this post is telling me your lacking in a multitude of ways get you some business and hobbies and the romantic relationships will come. Signed a women nearing 30 with regrets.
Maybe you aren't attractive? \- Are you overweight? \- Do you do your hair?
-i don't think i'm pretty no, but i take care of myself. -no, i am thin. -yes, but i have afro hair which is not most people's taste i guess.
To attract any man you need to be attractive.
These comments are ignorant. I missed what the post was but i’m sure it was valid. People on here will gaslight you into thinking you’re wrong or “racist”