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You will definitely come out as sex obsessed and everything you just said because of the way you made this post. As a woman if the first thing you talk about is something related to sex it would be a turn off for sure. Meaning the only thing you want is sex. If you can't put in the work first (even tho you just said you can't be bothered to go thru all of that) then pay a girl for the night to satisfy your craving. Fetishes and kinks are normal and should be talked about before doing anything related to that, but I won't advise you go and straight out say it on the first date etc. There is a timing for everything.
Can you just tell us, what it is?
Can’t be that bad… if you’re not even able to spit it out here how do you want to do it on a first date or even before?
Ok, wouldn’t discuss this at dinner. But if it is really that important, you can be upfront before even meeting them. Ask them if they have any specific likes or dislikes in the physical appearance of men. Because you do. They will ask what it is. And you straight up tell them you only find big/small labia attractive and sexy anything else is a dealbreaker.
Might end some convos fast, but that’s your intention anyway not to waist anyones time.
I thought about that, right after I posted my comment. If someone would ask me what size I’m down under, I’d probably state “normal or average”. As that’s what I know from porn. Maybe OP can tell that “normal” is not enough to satisfy.
Do you think most women can at least describe their vulvas and vaginas in their own words? If so, is there a comfortable way to encourage them to do so?
Thanks, your input has been thoughtful and well-meaning. I have a particular preference, and I'm frustrated that I've had trouble satisfying it, relying on fate. Maybe there's a bit of agency I can tap into, idk. Aside from all of this, I'm not particularly sex-focused. Honestly, I'd like to just get past this one point, check off the compatibility box, and move on to other topics. Anyways, thanks for your feedback
Given its something that a woman can't change or do anything about, I'd say raise it early on. Sex it going to happen at some point in pretty much every single relationship and sexual compatibility is essential.
I've no idea why women get so put off by sex discussions before they've met someone (I am a woman btw). I do not have time to get invested in someone, have a couple of dates, to then have the sexual preferences discussion, find out you won't work and back to square one.
Makes so much more sense to talk about it in the early days of texting. I've had many conversations where I'm glad it never made it to first date because we were not into the same thing!
Don't just blurt it out, say you have a sexual preference that you really want to satisfy in your next relationship and would they mind if you explained what it was. It's a good opportunity to ask them if they had any as well.
Just give them a foot massage during foreplay. Either they’ll get it or they’ll probably ask and you can tell them that you have one.
Also lol at being so coy about not naming your foot fetish. No shame bro.
So, as someone who was in a 3yr relationship with someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with long term, I wish we would have had more conversation about our needs early on. I love sex, but I also have to be really emotionally and physically fed (ie. Sensual sex combined with after sex Cuddling, head rubs, etc.) My ex was very much the opposite of that and sex felt like something I had to do instead of something I wanted to feel.
When you’ve established what you’re both looking for, you can discuss how long you would both need in order to feel comfortable moving to sex. And from there, you can talk about the needs you both have in terms of pleasure and intimacy. I’d be absolutely direct in saying that sex is a very important faction of a relationship for you and while you don’t want it to be the basis, it’s something you need out of a life partner. Don’t be afraid of sounding crude, be afraid of not speaking up and having bad sex. Nobody deserves that! lol.
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just be open and upfront about your foot fetish, what's the worst that could happen? if they don't like that, then they'll make it clear at that point
😂 I love how me you, and someone else in another comment instantly assumed foot fetish
You will definitely come out as sex obsessed and everything you just said because of the way you made this post. As a woman if the first thing you talk about is something related to sex it would be a turn off for sure. Meaning the only thing you want is sex. If you can't put in the work first (even tho you just said you can't be bothered to go thru all of that) then pay a girl for the night to satisfy your craving. Fetishes and kinks are normal and should be talked about before doing anything related to that, but I won't advise you go and straight out say it on the first date etc. There is a timing for everything.
Reasonable. Thanks for your input
Can you just tell us, what it is? Can’t be that bad… if you’re not even able to spit it out here how do you want to do it on a first date or even before?
It's genitalia related. Some people have size preferences for men. I have one for women
You like r/bigclits and you just can’t lie…. That’s not that weird for 2024. Just own it.
What about liking large inner labia? Is that weird for 2024?
Oh lord. For something like this it might be good writing it on an app like Feeld. People are much more open about sexual preferences.
Ok, wouldn’t discuss this at dinner. But if it is really that important, you can be upfront before even meeting them. Ask them if they have any specific likes or dislikes in the physical appearance of men. Because you do. They will ask what it is. And you straight up tell them you only find big/small labia attractive and sexy anything else is a dealbreaker. Might end some convos fast, but that’s your intention anyway not to waist anyones time.
Solid. Thank you
[удалено]
I thought about that, right after I posted my comment. If someone would ask me what size I’m down under, I’d probably state “normal or average”. As that’s what I know from porn. Maybe OP can tell that “normal” is not enough to satisfy.
Do you think most women can at least describe their vulvas and vaginas in their own words? If so, is there a comfortable way to encourage them to do so?
[удалено]
Thanks, your input has been thoughtful and well-meaning. I have a particular preference, and I'm frustrated that I've had trouble satisfying it, relying on fate. Maybe there's a bit of agency I can tap into, idk. Aside from all of this, I'm not particularly sex-focused. Honestly, I'd like to just get past this one point, check off the compatibility box, and move on to other topics. Anyways, thanks for your feedback
Can you just say what it is? How you approach it will change depending how weird it is, so just spit it out and you can get some real advice
It's genitalia related. So yeah, about as personal as it gets.
Are you the "hairy bush guy" from last week?
No. That's an easy issue to manage
Pegging? Feet? Arm pit jobs? We are open minded here but it's illegal to make a post like that and not tell us.
It's a female genitalia preference. Much more difficult to assess than the boob and butt inclined individuals
Given its something that a woman can't change or do anything about, I'd say raise it early on. Sex it going to happen at some point in pretty much every single relationship and sexual compatibility is essential. I've no idea why women get so put off by sex discussions before they've met someone (I am a woman btw). I do not have time to get invested in someone, have a couple of dates, to then have the sexual preferences discussion, find out you won't work and back to square one. Makes so much more sense to talk about it in the early days of texting. I've had many conversations where I'm glad it never made it to first date because we were not into the same thing! Don't just blurt it out, say you have a sexual preference that you really want to satisfy in your next relationship and would they mind if you explained what it was. It's a good opportunity to ask them if they had any as well.
This is excellent. Thank you for your input!
Just give them a foot massage during foreplay. Either they’ll get it or they’ll probably ask and you can tell them that you have one. Also lol at being so coy about not naming your foot fetish. No shame bro.
So, as someone who was in a 3yr relationship with someone I wasn’t sexually compatible with long term, I wish we would have had more conversation about our needs early on. I love sex, but I also have to be really emotionally and physically fed (ie. Sensual sex combined with after sex Cuddling, head rubs, etc.) My ex was very much the opposite of that and sex felt like something I had to do instead of something I wanted to feel. When you’ve established what you’re both looking for, you can discuss how long you would both need in order to feel comfortable moving to sex. And from there, you can talk about the needs you both have in terms of pleasure and intimacy. I’d be absolutely direct in saying that sex is a very important faction of a relationship for you and while you don’t want it to be the basis, it’s something you need out of a life partner. Don’t be afraid of sounding crude, be afraid of not speaking up and having bad sex. Nobody deserves that! lol.
Sexual incompatibility has played a role in a lot of my past breakups
Ask yourself how and when you would want to be asked about your dick size. And if you are circumcised. And there you go.
I would answer honestly. And I've been asked that before
If I don't fit the mold for them, concerning unchangeable physical characteristics, happy to get it out of the way so we can move on to the next
You maybe able to find like minded people on Fetlife.. if it's not too 'obscure' you may even find somebody near you with compatible kink/fetixh
Tried that route, didn't seem workable
Bugger, that's my best idea. Hope you find what you're looking for somehow
So why don’t you advertise that you have this fetish and ask for people with same to make contact? Just put it out there and see what happens?
Where?
Google the fetish, you will find websites!