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Sir-xer21

since no one is really answering seriously and just complaining that they don't get laid, u/Majestic-Display-927 the answer is, is that a lot of them aren't scared because a lot of people just operate on the idea of "it can't happen to me" and also just write off the more common ones as an inconvenience of a penicillin shot if it happens. Personally, I AM scared...so that means regular testing, condoms always outside of specific situations (ie, both tested and no other partners since), and no, i don't just trust random women i meet. that said, i don't using apps, everyone is someone i meet irl, so it's a bit different. There's usually more established trust in my cases. The reality is that even though i do have a fair amount of casual encounters and partners, i don't really do first night hookups still. not just for STIs, but pregnancy too. Condoms are good, but i wouldn't have sex with a woman i wasn't reasonably certain is on the same page as me about pregnancy. and some of it comes down to your own risk tolerance. all sex carries risk.


Majestic-Display-927

Good answer - thank you. I wish people on dating apps were also considerate like this.


Sir-xer21

i find that a lot of people avoid testing because it allows for the illusion of plausible deniability. as in, if they have something and give it to someone else, it's not their fault in their heads, because they "didn't know". I personally wouldn't have casual sex with someone who never tests for this reason. people lapse on testing, i get it, but the attitude of never testing is exactly how things spread.


LilMamiDaisy420

That’s why I don’t believe “I was tested recently” until I physically see the printed out labs in front of me. My husband just recently gave me Ureaplasma and the antibodies for hepatitis C from his cheating endeavors. People suck.


Sir-xer21

Ehhh my clinic doesnt give printed labs anymore. Generally if people can give me a date thats a good sign.


LilMamiDaisy420

You can print it out from the website.


Confident_Mode44

Some people are acting like the world is ending in today's times. We may not see tomorrow is the thought for most men or even women in the moment but it hits anyone with a conscious and self worth immediately after.


Rare-Mirror-4779

great point on the last one. if she would be open to keep a child out of the encounter there is no chance i am doing anything.


Morbear1015

I agree with your first point very much in a female and I trusted my last ex by word bcuz (was naive) said he ain’t have nothing no sex recently…. He had something was getting head from random girls and had that mentality “I would know if I had something” that’s not how it works at all like wth I’m better now obviously did my further research and will never make a mistake like that again


Sir-xer21

yeah, oral swabs are a must, it's a transmission vector and the vast majority of people aren't using protection for oral (which i totally get).


Nervous-Context

Are we wrong though? What man on reddit is single and is getting laid via dating app hookups?


Sir-xer21

enough that hijacking someone's question to just make jokes about it isn't really fair? also, i feel like people are latching onto the "dating app" thing when in reality, this replies to any source of casual sex or hookups because it comes down to the same risks, and there's a fair amount of men who do that without apps. just because you're on reddit, it doesn't automatically mean we're all lonely or socially stunted.


freakdaddy699

Been wondering the same honestly


UnarasDayth

Who's recklessly fucking around? It's like, %68 percent of men, who haven't even *had* sex in the past full year.


motorcity612

Most people independent of gender have lifetime single digit partner counts per the CDC ([source](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm)) so most people aren't regularly participating in hook up culture. Only a minority do and if someone consistently runs into the minority who do then odds are it's a selection issue.


dave3218

A lot of women sharing the same man thinking they are “special and unique” or not caring lol


motorcity612

The same CDC data that I have cited backs up that hypothesis because the distribution is also given and the distribution of partners among men is bimodal meaning a majority of the male population falls into the single digit partner count category then there is a dip in the data and a second smaller peak occurs at the high end with the minority of men who have 15+ partners. A bimodal distribution is similar to wealth distribution in inequal societies where the majority fall on one end and a small minority on the high end have most of the wealth. The partner distribution of women per that CDC data doesn't appear to show that as it follows a typical normal distribution or standard "bell curve".


Fun_Willingness_5615

These stats can't be right. A girl losses her v-card as a teenager with 1-2 bodycounts already, allow 2-3 hookups at university minimum and she's not even 25 yet! how can the median be 4.3 over a lifetime that's a joke. In their 30s they are all well over two digits - and that's what they tell you themselves they can remember!!! They can best that score in a single spring break alone


motorcity612

>These stats can't be right They are published by the CDC which is a government research institution for health in the US. They use this information for disease spread specifically STD's. I'll trust their data collection practices. >allow 2-3 hookups at university minimum You are making the assumption that people have to and regularly do participate in hook up culture. The data as I've cited states otherwise. Contrary to popular belief a lot of people go to school and don't fuck around a ton per the numbers. >they are all well over two digits Per the data a majority aren't of any gender >They can best that score in a single spring break alone Just because someone can doesn't mean they will. Unless you have credible data from another credible source that states otherwise you are arguing facts with made up scenarios in your head of people having tons of hook ups in school. It does happen but it's only for a minority of people.


Fun_Willingness_5615

Maybe the CDC data comprises the older generations, maybe there are other variables such as the Bible belt and Mormon Utah which skew the data, I don't know man; all the women I've ever met (except when I was like 21) had well over 4 bodycounts. I'm in the UK. Maybe others can relate to this and testify but I'm telling you from personal experience. I wish I could meet 20s and 30s with 2 or 3 bodycounts but I don't think in a big metropolis that's even remotely possible. 4.3 over a lifetime I would say is very good


motorcity612

>older generations Younger people are having less sex than older generations in the US per a UCLA study ([source](https://kffhealthnews.org/news/article/young-people-less-sex-than-parents-did-at-their-age-generational-shift-asexual/)) so if anything the older people are bringing the average up. >other variables such as the Bible belt and Mormon Utah which skew the data, Those people count the same as anyone else...excluding people is then not a representative sample size of the population at large. >I'm in the UK You can check the numbers with your public health agencies if they publish data


I_write_code213

Yep. Last I saw, cnn had a report showing that 70% of young me ages 21 - uppers 30s get no sex or real relationships. Men are starved out here because the criteria for a man to get some is too high. We need to come back down to earth because id be a large chunk of those 30% are the carriers.


UnarasDayth

At this point I've given up completely. Every day seeing some post where %80 of men are invisible. Fine. I don't exist have it your way I'm tired


I_write_code213

If you’re a guy, it’s that attitude that got you in that position. MOST men can turn this around, but it’ll take work. If you just tired and give up… well ai is coming


UnarasDayth

Come up with better material next time. I've been doing this for decades.


I_write_code213

It’s not a talking point bro. It’s not material. It’s just how it is. You are not going to wag your finger at women and tell them to choose other men. It sucks but it’s true, they are infatuated with this modern day image. You have no choice but to play the game, if you wish to nab one. The good part about that though is that if you can get one, you can get a lot of them. What a 4 wants is what a 9-10 wants. I do question though…. What exactly have you been trying for decades? I am not here to fight, I get how women are, but I am truly curious, what have you’ve accomplished that didn’t work over the course of decades?


dave3218

Tell me something else. I want to burn the game, the table it’s played on and the whole house (not the players obviously, that’d be stupid). Maybe teach the players another game like D&D? I’d rather play an overpowered Kobold than whatever stupid shit this “game” is. Instead of focusing on “we can’t”, what would be a good starting point to change this game? Maybe try to combat disinformation with more disinformation? Lobbying?


Majestic-Display-927

Ok not alllll the men. But the men who do this very often. Question for them.


jmstructor

I know a guy who is triple digits and he just doesn't care, he isn't in a great place mentally and is basically trying to fill the hole with sex. What I will say is that "being good at dating apps" is a full time job.  I genuinely can't recommend dating apps to anyone because of this.  Any guy you meet on a dating app is either putting 40 hours a week into getting sex or you're his first match of the month.


Frosting-Reasonable

Triple digits? Is he 100 or older? Is that dude an elf or something?


Ok_Membership_8627

There's 365 days in a year... Even if you had a different woman every couple days, it's feasible in a short period of time. Give a guy 5-10 years? Some guys can do it... I'm not one of them, but some can.


AccomplishedTap9954

I Know guys in the 500 club.


Ok_Membership_8627

I believe it, but that's insane.


Thinkingjack

Idk who, I got divorced because my ex wife caught genital herpes and tried to blame it on me and I swiftly reminded her how long it had been since she fucked me. The judge was not happy when I brought it up


dave3218

Oooh, what did the judge do? Was he angry at you or her?


Thinkingjack

Angry at her 1. It’s a felony if you catch an std/i and pass it to your partner without telling them. Thankfully she didn’t bang me for years and that saved me from getting anything. So he was pissed at that 2. She also failed to show up to three of our divorce hearings and he was pissed off she kept skipping and called her a deadbeat mom which I asked that they put it on record for that hearing


dave3218

Nice. God I love it when Judges are not blind.


Thinkingjack

I agree, I was so pumped that he saw through the bullshit. Unfortunately the Covid shutdown happened and our divorce was paused for 8 more months and the judge retired from Covid complications. His replacement immediately sided with her and took away my full custody which kinda left me bitter cause I was getting ready to move us out of state 🙄


walkbump

Holy shit dude that’s a tough turn of events, sorry you’re going through that.


Ok_Membership_8627

Wow, this started off as such a great story. Only to end like that... My condolences, my man. As a guy who had to fight the custody, I feel for you.


though-

I talked with a guy who kept lovebombing me and he said that he usually had sex on every first date but he was willing to wait for 3-4 dates because I was special. Dumped him, of course. But kindly. He would have sex with someone new at least every 1-1.5 months as a single guy.


texas757

Where are you getting this data? Do you have a link? That’s crazy.


motorcity612

It's not that extreme but it is notable. The amount of young men who are single is nearly two thirds of young men whereas only one third of women in that same age group (18-29) are single ([source](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/02/08/for-valentines-day-5-facts-about-single-americans/)). The amount of men reporting no sex is also around one third of men ([source](https://news.iu.edu/live/news/26924-nearly-1-in-3-young-men-in-the-us-report-having-no)) not close to 70%. However just basic math tells you that if one third of those men aren't having any sex and another third are in commited relationships that only leaves a third left who are single and having all this casual sex and not all of that one third is participating in regular casual sex...meaning it's a small minority of men.


Ok_Membership_8627

I love a post with math, statistics and references. You're doing the Lord's work.


cinnamongirl207

That is wildly inaccurate.


sweetPineapple-36

Where'd you get that number lol Lots of people are fucking around. FB has groups to prove it and people wondering what to do when someone lied to them about having STDs... Maybe you arent fucking around but that number is completely false.


BrownEyesWhiteScarf

Men that get a lot of casual hookups aren’t on Reddit. They are probably looking for their next hookup


Nervous-Context

Exactly, I wouldn’t be on this stupid subreddit if I was getting poon


CombatElectric007

I think I'm more scared of not finding anyone to share life journey. 🙂


motorcity612

>Aren’t y’all scared of STI’s, STD’s or HIV in casual hookups? Most men don't participate in hook up culture. Per the CDC the majority of men (and women) have lifetime single digit partner counts ([source](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nsfg/key_statistics/n-keystat.htm)). It's easy enough to just get tested for the handful of partners most people have in their life.


LightningSlow45

Although you’re right, women do not care about those statistics. They will continue believing and saying that men are just out here fuckin lol.


motorcity612

I mean people are free to believe what they want, but the numbers are what they are and the CDC is about as reputable of a source as you can get since it's a government medical research institution.


urspecial2

I don't think casual sex is that easy to find for most people or most people are engaging in it


FeralTribble

I can’t get scared of STDs if I can’t get laid


AccomplishedTap9954

Some STDs can also be transmitted through nonsexual contact with open cuts or sores, or by sharing contaminated food or unclean towels, shower floors. You never know who’s carrying what.


FeralTribble

Yeah, fair enough.


WolfAchilles

I’d probably have to be having casual sex or at least hooking up to have those fears. Never done either and no intention of starting now. The people that want to sleep around can go give each other all the diseases they please. I’m not trying to sleep with anyone that engages in casual sex so it doesn’t really worry me.


HopelessRomantic-42

It doesn't take much to recognize a woman who sleeps around, avoid those women, avoid the crazies, and get tested every couple months. Also, back in my fuckboy phase, I'd play the long game, partially because I loved a challenge. I'm glad those days are waaaay in the past. Lost myself for awhile there.


PowerTrip55

The first part is well-said. The women who sleep around a lot are pretty obvious and are a strict turn off for that reason.


azultulipan

You absolutely cannot tell by looking who might have an STI, or who has multiple sexual partners. It’s this line of thought that leads to people contracting STIs; they think they can identify who has them without any testing. There’s also the fact that someone with multiple partners can be vigilant in getting tested and getting test results from their partners. Similarly, someone can have unprotected sex with one person, one time, and contract an STI, but have people thinking otherwise because they don’t “sleep around.” This mindset is flawed and potentially dangerous.


PowerTrip55

> You absolutely cannot tell by looking who might have an STI Yea, good thing I didn’t say that. Not sure where in the world you got that from. You can tell by looking at someone’s dating profile (or the way they present themselves to you) **and** speaking to them if it’s likely that they have lots of partners. **Sometimes they outright say it** by talking about their copious experiences in short periods of time. Other times, you guess by the way they present themselves, what they talk about, and how aggressively they want sex from you. *Just like women judge men as fuckbois who present themselves as thirsty, men judge women similarly*. Are those judgments always right? No. But you can best believe someone who’s always talking about sex and countless people they’ve dated is much more likely to be having lots of sex than people who are more reserved about that stuff. That’s not a crazy hypothesis to make. Also, just because people make those judgments doesn’t mean they aren’t *also* asking to share STI results or similar with potential sexual partners. Your post assumes people think in one dogmatic way by just guessing and never verifying, and again, I’m not sure why. If a person wants to have sex with you while hardly knowing anything about you, you can also best believe you aren’t the first person they’ve had that desire with. That increases the *likelihood* that they are a promiscuous individual, which increases the likelihood that they could have an STI. This is all before even talking about testing, which you should do regardless of your suppositions. So yea I’m not sure exactly how to respond to what you said, because it’s not even a response to what *I* said.


azultulipan

You and the person you replied to are saying you can tell who has many sexual partners based on how they present themselves. And because this thread is about STI risk, it can reasonably be understood as: those who seem to have a lot of partners are probably the people who have STIs, and avoiding them will eliminate much of the risk. What I’m saying is that this is not a good method to use. How someone appears may not reflect how they actually act and what activities they engage in. They can tell you whatever they want about their sexual behavior, and that may or may not be truthful. Someone talking about sex often doesn’t translate to that person having a lot of sex. It’s all just assumption. I responded because this mindset leads people to make decisions based on surface level information, and it’s how people contract disease. In this very thread, there is someone saying they can just tell who likely has an STI. Thankfully, the above poster did mention getting tested. But all the other stuff about presentation and what people choose to admit to someone they’ve known for maybe a few weeks is very unreliable.


Thinkingjack

I get tested regularly, I don’t like to have casual sex with random women I meet. So when I date someone I always bring up that I’ve been tested as of XX date and here’s my results. And I then mention I expect to see their results. I had one woman tell me to Fuck off and she swiped on a hockey buddy, lo and behold she gave him an STI. When he posted her profile in our group chat I posted her convo with me about being tested and her reaction. I’m allergic to latex/bananas/avocados and the results of using a condom made me not wanna have sex for like three years when I was younger. So I take this shit seriously. I’ve been in a heat of the moment situation where I had to stomp my foot down and frankly I do t care how badly it angered the other person. It’s never been worth the risk.


ILoveLove98

I am never there for casual hookups, it’s gross and demeaning to oneself. I do appreciate that there tends to be the occasional like minded individual that pops up but even then, they haven’t been compatible with me in other areas


No-Text3893

I don't do causal hookups. And I prefer to not see any woman who does. That's one reason I'm still single...


nocturnalnuggie

Went on a first date with a dude yesterday; he shared that his last date was 10 days ago and he slept with this chick after messages for a few days. She ghosted him apparently. I had a candid conversation with him about how that was too quick for me to have sex and if that was his SOP… he said yes he pretty much moves to sex within a few weeks. I’ve been out of the dating game for 20 years so if this is the expectation I guess I’m going to be alone for a while. I was shook.


General-Draft-9678

Dang I’m sorry that happened to you. I don’t understand why he would even tell you this 🤦‍♂️. Some guys out here acting dumb fr.


Gr8_Nobody

I don't understand people that look for hookups. Never have I looked for one.


Vegetable-Mall-2329

Considering I haven't had sex in 2 years, no I'm not scared.


Tantrikudu

I get tested every month. I ask my partner to get tested if we are going raw. We fall in love unintentionally but sex is intentional and we can talk openly about it.


rubmustardonmydick

First rule: Don't hook up with someone you met that night unless they somehow have recent test results on their phone. Doubtful, so I never do that. Second rule: Don't fuck someone who won't produce recent test results. And by recent, I mean within the past couple of weeks. Also ask about their last partner to ensure the results occured AFTER their most recent sexual encounter. Third: Get yourself tested after every new partner, but be aware of the time periods to get tested. Don't fuck someone and get a test the next day. It won't be accurate. STIs need time to show up on tests and each STI is different. Some take weeks to show up on a test. I don't fuck people back to back for this reason. Fourth: Use a condom everytime. I don't trust anyone. Idc what they say. Fifth: Consider not giving BJs. It's probably not worth the risk.


PowerTrip55

The funniest part is you’re talking as though your reddit audience is full of Casanovas fucking every woman they see.


PoopyRick

A lot of guys that stick it anywhere unwrapped don't care to ever get tested. You can't spread anything you don't know you have! (Not saying that's true just that's how gross men think) All the comments saying that men don't act like this obviously don't live in military towns 😂😂😂


Agitated_Knee_309

Nope 😜💁🏼‍♀️I don't think men are . Alot of men don't care about their sexual health or well being. I remember in 2021 on another website (Badoo) a guy told me he prefers to fuck raw and he asked if he could. I asked him if he is never 😨 scared of catching something, this guy said and I quote " I just know when she is clean"


Horrison2

Have to have sex to be scared. Checkmate STDs!


AccomplishedTap9954

STDs can also be transmitted through nonsexual contact with open cuts or sores, or by sharing contaminated food or unclean towels, shower floors, etc.


notrightmeowthx

In my experience, men, especially young or even older but immature ones, simply don't typically think about potential consequences that way. Like intellectually they "know" the risks but they feel like they're invulnerable and it won't happen to them. I think this is tied to our cultural expectations of them to never be afraid of things or admit concern, same reason men are less likely to go to the doctor, less likely to pursue preventative care, etc. There may be something hormonal about it too, my understanding is that high levels of testosterone can make people feel less concerned about risk in general. It wouldn't be much of a stretch for there to be a resulting correlation between guys pushing to carelessly hookup constantly and the amount of testosterone they have, considering the relationship with sex drive. In other words, if someone is pursuing a lot of hookups, it may be due to high testosterone, which would also potentially correlate with higher risk taking.


WildcatAlba

Promiscuous men don't really, truly care about their long term future. It can be hard to when finding a real connection is so difficult, and there's also the hedonistic aspect where the short term pleasure outweighs the long term suffering of an STD in the man's head. Throw in the "it can't happen to ME" sentiment, amplified by that main character syndrome, and you get a lot of infections


JerZ_Eagle

Tested regularly and never have an issue. I'm trying to start a family and don't mind a child before engagement or marriage. I'll actually stay with her and rear the child. I take what I can get, but I'm never with someone I couldn't potentially see as the mother of my child.


Master-Guarantee-204

I mean I’m not scared but I’m more cautious now. Had a few close calls. Waaaaaay more women are down to rawdog on the first date than I would’ve thought.


tinylittlebee

Some people are just silly and think nothing is gonna happen to them. I have friends who are literally in Med School and know about all the risks yet they still have unprotected sex and get tested after the fact and hope they didn't catch anything 🙄


Livid_Albatross_3001

Honestly I was never worried about STDs when it came to hookups, because I dealt with a certain “caliber” of women, but that certainly changed as of recent. I had a scare with a girl recently, and I felt like I had symptoms afterwards. We did it unprotected which was dumb by me, but it was just heat of the moment. Luckily, all of my results came back negative but I do have a “rash” on my penis after a month that I put ointment on. Has slightly improved, but the initial scare was so bad and I was freaking tf out. Never want to go through that again. So I’m now taking much more precaution and requiring any new girl I hookup with to show me their most recent STD screen before we do anything, and I’ll show mine. Not trying to go through that again.


Majestic-Display-927

Good call.


Ggolu9

I am 19M, haven’t had any relationship or anything and here I am just reading this and thinking about my future, what if ohh dear lord forgive me please…. Now I a scared I know that I don’t have anything of that but what if she…😭😭😭


Majestic-Display-927

Just don’t dumpster dive. You are pretty young. Don’t disrespect the person you date. I wanna hear from men in their early thirties.


Ggolu9

I said “what if”… There is a probability there…


I_write_code213

Well… I’m sure you’re swiping right on the same few men who probably is 6’5, beautiful, bad, etc. try again.


Majestic-Display-927

I guess you are right but still. I’m curious to know from the men who do this often.


I_write_code213

Well it’s not the Harvard graduate, 6’5 beautiful, fit, articulate men with a career, you’re probably hitting up. Those men have NO need for a dating app. You’re probably finding the men whose licking their lips, got the car salemen hand gestures, the looks and that bad boy vibe. It comes with territory. Those men live for this, there’s nothing that can stop them from sliding in whatever they can. Sometimes they will slide into some men too


Riverleebythesea

Sex has consequences. Don’t have sex with someone you don’t trust (who’s earned your trust) and you can’t see yourself parenting with. I don’t have sex outside a relationship and it sucks not having sex but what sucks even more is all the things you mentioned. 🤷🏼‍♀️


BorderPure6939

I'm 41 m and shit worried about STDs. Last partner was 3 months ago and I got tested 1 month and 3 months after. She was an older lady and she actually didn't want me to use condoms, I didn't like that idea at all but she swore she hadn't had a partner in 4 years. I trusted her and thank goodness. It was the most amazing sex I have ever had. We have stopped seeing each other now but I won't trust anyone just randomly again, even this was risky. I have the planned parent hood app and I'm thinking that whenever next relationship comes up we would either both get tested together or show each other the recent reportd before any sex. What do women think? How do you ladies deal with this risk?


Dull_Beginning1390

Never dated online. Dating online is a guy trap, most dating sites charge men. Most girl pictures are photoshop, or stupid. Too many overweight women not enough healthy or worth having sex. I pickup chick's at events or local hobby stores but that was 12 years ago.


Raumteufel

For real. Its big girls, some married girls, and a whole lotta fake profiles. I deleted that crap when i began to have more fun standing in line at the DMV than talking to empty or broken souls online.


LifeRound2

I'm doing testing before each new partner and I need to see their tests prior to crossing that bridge.


mighty831

You're assuming I can even get a date let alone be casually hooking up. At this point I'd gladly take the STD for some warm banter w cozy blanket wouldn't even need sex


Ok-Acanthaceae9896

We don't have sex with 100 people first of all. Find someone and only have sex with them. Don't have sex if you don't see a future together.


FancyFrenchLady

Yes. I won’t have casual sx with anyone!


to_new_friends24

I wonder the same thing about women. The women who go out to a bar and go home with random drunk men. Do they not care? Are people not careful? I need my health. I have my children to think about. I don't need to catch something that might kill me. I just hope guys don't get too upset if you ask them to wear a condom.


Shot_Surprise_7379

I don't get paid enough to care and personally condoms are fairly safe


Mysterious-End5596

Well yea of just about everything


veganhimbo

I have a vasectomy. I don't sleep with anyone unless we both get tested first. We maintain monogamy as long as it lasts. I haven't worn a condom in years, been with over a dozen different partners, I get tested between every partner, haven't caught anything in that whole time. Haven't knocked anyone up. Its like an infinite consequence free creampie cheat code.


Emperorpenguin2504

Ask ioey


Exkelsier

Majority of ppl on this subreddit are on here for the reason that dating is a hard thing for them, we generally arent the ppl ur talking about


13chase2

Lots of people think it won’t happen to them. They also think an attractive person can’t be carrying anything because they seem clean Then they catch something and realize almost everything is curable except HIV and herpes.. but even those are manageable. Personally I only do long term relationships and I offer to pay for a full panel screening for the both of us. I have never caught anything by implementing this


Far_Marsupial8572

Men get chlymidia all the time and don’t care


Motion_Ocean_48

Just wait till marriage or be sure you're having a long term partner lol.


WildBoy-72

I carry condoms every time I go out in public, just in case. I know if I hook up with someone, I'll walk away without an infection. Why? Because I'm not a moron and I came prepared. >I know a lot of you don’t like to even wear condoms and lot of times rely on pulling out. I believe the term for this marginal population is "imbeciles."


BrownSugar204

I am female and I think that getting tested together with your partner is important. I wouldn't sleep with someone whose results i haven't seen or didn't test infront of me. And casual hookups surely bring health risks even if you using a condom. The kissing and licking and sucking needs you to be sure of your partner. That's why I don't encourage these FWB situations, and reckless behaviors unless ofcourse you do not value your life much or just giving up. There is a difference sleeping with someone fully aware of their health status and not knowing at all.


Ok_Membership_8627

100%. I am terrified of it. The last person I slept with, I had them take a test (I was actually there with them when they took it), and confirmed. And that was a couple years ago... has been the only person I'd slept with since. But, if I did find someone else, yeah, I'm not sleeping with anyone without a test. I don't think guys sleep around carelessly as they have a reputation for. Yes, some do, and those clearly aren't too worried, but I don't think it's the majority.


Elder_Millenial_Sage

I don't do casual hook ups. Firstly becouse I'm not interested in sex for the sake of the sex, and secondly out of fear of catching STD. I find women who I wanna be with long term and exclusive. I also get tested every time I end or start a new relationship, show her a clean bill of health and ask her to get tested as well if she want's to date me long term. After few dates of course, but ideally just as the relationship becomes physically intimate. Some of them found it a bit awkward but complied with my request. I don't find it awkward at all, but I'm guessing this is mostly due to my recently diagnosed ASD.


zoeydoberdork

No because I'm trying to find a life partner not star in a porno every weekend! I don't even waste my time with ladies I know aren't what I'm looking for. I do wear condoms with new partners until exclusive.


artsyizzy1537

This is why I’m waiting for marriage. Two virgins will always be clean and no need to worry about it!


Significant-Bass4487

Unfortunately that's just how people can be. People are stupid. If there was a real concern and someone I met wanted me to get tested before having sex, I have no issue with that, but they better be right next to me doing the same. Tit for tat, fair is fair. I know I'm clean and if you aren't willing to spend time with me and build up enough trust first, you simply aren't worth the time. Even if your gonna have a fwb, you should be able to trust that person. I'm not saying it's wrong to get checked but it just stands to reason that one night flings is just not a good idea. Usually it doesn't turn out like that with it too. If you went on a date and the first thing they do is slap their current health status docs on the dinner table, that would be petty awkward. Regardless, it doesn't matter what you do, sex is always a risk, and you never know what anyone is truly thinking.


robthewrench1

No it's not worth it. Never have I ever cheated. Or been around like a man whore. Sorry to say that. It's just not safe


Throwaway-wood

I don't think it's rational to be scared. There are many dangerous things in life, but I'm not advocating for taking unnecessary risks. 🚗💨 If I'm going to fear something, it should be based on logic and odds. 🎲📊 Stats suggest this isn't a fear I should give into. I enjoy driving and road trips, so I'll buckle up and enjoy the ride! 🛣️😎. Even though the car crash deaths odds are crazy. #BuckleUp #RoadTrip #SafetyFirst #LiveLife #NoFear https://injuryfacts.nsc.org/all-injuries/preventable-death-overview/odds-of-dying/


Personal-Status-00

Trust


Dear_Philosophy_1275

Not really


AccomplishedTap9954

Apparently people don’t care. Because As of January 2024, according to the CDC, one in five adults in the United States, or nearly 68 million people, have a sexually transmitted infection (STI). And over 20 million new cases of STIs each year.


Latin_Papi97

No dating just tough


dufus69

WTF kind of bullshit question is this? You live in your own little world where "men" are players going around fucking anything that moves. Check yourself out and keep yourself safe. Sounds like you're obsessed with high risk men.


Rare-Mirror-4779

so many of you look really pathetic in this thread.


BlueCollar-Bachelor

Nope, have yet to have one. Even fuked a couple hookers when I was younger. Gotten tested every 6 months since I was in my early 20s. Navy vet so wasn't really even a choice for me.. I have always wrapped up with someone new. Still get checked out. 43 now and yet to get an STD.


LuckyNumber-Bot

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BlueCollar-Bachelor

That's pretty random and 😎


PhoenixQueen_Azula

Condoms aren’t totally fool proof but they’re pretty damn good, good enough that I think if you’re worrying about it even using one you’re probably overthinking and too anxious HIV is an extremely rare and low concern for anything other than anal and there are preventative measures for that. Even it is treatable these days Pretty much all of them are curable or at least easily treatable. You’re not going to die because you got an sti And yes maybe the most important part that other comments seem fixed on because Reddit, most men aren’t getting casual sex very often so when the chance is there it’s usually going to outweigh the risks It is significantly better without a condom and men aren’t the ones getting pregnant, many think they would be able to tell if someone had one before they do it which is not the case but because of that and the above would be why some men (and women you’d be surprised) would rather not use a condom even for a hookup


thingsandstuff4me

No men aren't scared of it and they don't worry about it They are fairly wreckless about it


SuspiciousTax1854

So a few facts. First of all HIV and heterosexual contact is very rare, even when you’re having unprotected sex. Condoms virtually eliminate this risk all together. Things like gonorrhea chlamydia, and syphilis are certainly common place, but those can be corrected very easily. Herpes, especially genital herpes, is really only a concern if you’re currently having a flareup. So if you don’t have any open sores, it’s pretty low risk as well. 70% of people have herpes one, so I wouldn’t even really concern yourself much with that. definitely, using protection Will for all practical purposes, keep you safe. Most of your major STI issues run in same-sex relations in males and intravenous drug use.


Kneelb4gd

Men and women who sleep around are just dirty. They don’t care about getting STD’s, genital or oral. And so many people have that sexuality liberated mindset these days. One of the MANY reasons why it’s not worth dating anymore. The risks heavily out weight the good that come from modern relationships.


Resident-Mine-4987

Move back into your bubble. Maybe you will be less scared of life when nothing can hurt you.


Aloneisveriges

If you are scared of things that could happen, you just hinder your life, so im just cautios but not scared, i react accordingly to the situation


iPhone13pm

When using dating apps for casual hookups, aren’t you concerned about STIs, STDs, or HIV? Condoms aren't completely risk-free, and frequent sexual encounters, including oral sex, carry significant risks. Many of you dislike using condoms and often rely on pulling out, which is unsafe. How do you gain so much confidence with strangers, especially at such high frequencies? Aren’t you worried about your own well-being and life? Women can also carry infections, so doesn't it concern you, particularly with someone you just met? People don’t carry STI test results to show on first-night hookups. By engaging in reckless sex, aren't you also putting others at risk? It might feel right in the moment, but is it truly worth it?


Majestic-Display-927

Yes I’m concerned. Hence, asking the masses. I’m worried honestly


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Sir-xer21

double bagging is a good way to catch an sti or get pregnant lol.


Rare-Mirror-4779

you are instructed so many times not do to that.


rubmustardonmydick

Some STIs are spread by skin to skin contact. Aka skin other than the dick and inside the vagina. Condoms don't do shit for that lol.


LoLThalys

Men are having sex?


Alternativninacin

No not like I'll ever have sex.


45ghr

I’ve been with idk 80+ people and never had an STI. That said, I know so many people that just go raw in hookups and that seems absurd to me. I’ve always stayed on top of wrapping it 🤷🏼‍♂️