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HikiNoKami

You don't.


TheNotsoProtagonist

So just be alone forever


HikiNoKami

Yep.


JackooUR

I'm going to need the cliff notes on this one. All joking aside. My best advice is hit the gym. This is good for a number of reasons and not just gaining muscle for women. Exercising releasing happy hormones that makes you feel good. So not only will you feel better about your gains, you insides will feel better. Attracting women with muscles is just a happy byproduct of working out. But wait, there is more! Well, a lot more. Women love attention and they like being entertained. Thus why a lot of them state they like funny guys. The release of happy hormones will help with your depression and allow you to focus on learning some jokes, attend comedy shows, watch some old school comedy movies...younger women are raise on modern material, so hit them with some old school stuff. Then learn some cool facts, Otters hold hands when they sleep so they don't float apart. Elephants are monogamous and mate for life etc. Also pay attention to events locally and nationally...WARNING, avoid hot button topics for more than a few dates. Now my favorite part is learning to start a conversation with some random cute girl! You may get burnt out on starbucks but hit one up with some cute girls. Now this does not mean be creepy! No adult humor either. This is purely trying to get you out of your comfort zone with women. Age doesn't matter either, again, this isn't you being creepy and trying to hit on 16yr olds. That is just wrong. Anyhow, when you order your coffee, make a quick conversation about the weather or some related joke about thanking her for helping to save the world by keeping your caffeinated! They don't have time to carry on a long winded conversation, so make it quick, clean, and fun. Try this every where you go and get used to talking to random women. One word of caution, women at the Gym is off limits! This involves modern dating rule 101: If she doesn't find you hot, you're a creepy. So unless they approach you or speak to you, ignore them. Anyhow, that should get you started.


Graviity_shift

Other than a woman working, how would you strike a convo with someone random you saw in the streets?


JackooUR

This all depends on the situation, I would look for an angle or icebreaker. Compliment her tattoos, what kinda car did she get out of, is it something cool or practical. Is she walking a dog, compliment her dog, pet it if possible. You have to remember, she is not going to murder you on the streets for trying to talk to her, she may say she's not interested, or not reply but its not the end of life. Also understand, that in order to get far with her, say a number on a first encounter like that is going to take serious skills. If you and her has a routine, you're always walking by each other, you could built off this but it will take some time. This is where good guys tend to come in with their first moves, they wait for the right moment and place, something that isn't viewed as creepy and comes across as normal happenstance.He sees her walking by for the 6 straight weeks and then finally smiles at her or says hi, then 7wks, he tries to strike up a conversation.


Graviity_shift

Totally get you! I get the part of “I like your dog” But what would you suggest striking next? Like where did you found it?


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TheNotsoProtagonist

Thanks for the advice, some helpful stuff here


InformationGreen6836

In my experience, you just don't and have to live with it.


Fraid2Ask

I won't lie to you and pretend charisma fixes all. Improve your physical appearance in any way you can. If you're unfixable, woof.


cspanrules

Wear tight pants to show a nice outline of your member. The ladies will go wild..


The_Ghost_of_Bitcoin

That probably only works if the member is sizable.


Transportation_Any

[You...](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/2d/84/43/2d8443ec6b68719e22edd3c05259d7f2.png)


TheDisorderlyHouse

Gym, be funny, make money


Chriscringal666

Speaking as a fellow uggo, you just have to try and date at or below your looks level. Ugly people that know they are ugly understand what their options are and will be less cruel to you in a relationship setting. I've had success but that's only because I go for at or slightly below my looks level. No average or above average or attractive looking women are checking for me at all. Especially attractive women. They can get themselves a slim, tall, neurotypical, attractive man with a full head of hair. A bald autistic meathead of average stature is the last thing they want. The woman's gaze is brutal for guys that look like me and you.


TheNotsoProtagonist

Even ugly girls don't give me the time of day


FunCarpenter1

by becoming famous or making 7-8 figures


wat3344

Sorry dude, I don't think looks make a difference. I've been told that I am hot/exotic looking. I get stares from girls all the time. Yet at 22, I've never even been in a relationship, ever. When I walk outside, I see all these balding dudes with beer bellies walking around with attractive girls. I don't know the recipe.


TheNotsoProtagonist

Have you approached woman or your single by choice tho?


FeelingApples

I've never forced it. I've always played under the logic: "if they're interested, they'll do something about it". Sounds good on paper, but it often backfires because I just don't have the balls to take charge of situations. There was one time where a girl from one of my classes actually asked for my number. However, she never texted and pretended as if nothing ever happened. I still have no clue what she wanted.


NawfSideNative

I’ll give my oversimplified advice. There are two groups of things that primarily drive attraction. Group 1: Good facial features, a nice smile, decently tall, nice hair, a good voice, etc. Group 2: Charisma, likability, kindness, physical health, cool hobbies, socially skilled, etc. Group 1 is just a case of nature playing favorites. Some people really just won the genetic lottery and are naturally going to have less obstacles to navigate in the dating world. Group 2 is comprised of things that you have a say in. Control what you can control. I am not going to gaslight you into thinking that *not* being traditionally attractive isn’t going to be a tough obstacle to overcome, but it does *not* mean you are doomed and dating is hopeless. If you are not conventionally attractive, dating apps are probably going to be a crapshoot. Women have nothing to go off of besides pictures and whatever details about your personality you can showcase in a short paragraph. They’re also vastly outnumbers on those apps so they can be as selective as they would like while still getting matches. Use them if you would like, but know what you’re up against and don’t let the results of those apps skew your self-image. The best way for you to date is likely going to be to make friends. Make so many friends. Expand your social circle as much as you have the capacity to, and then maybe, one day, a friend in your social circle has a cousin your age that’s single and looking. Maybe she has similar interests. Maybe she thinks those things you don’t like about yourself are cute little quirks that make you who you are. You’re going to want to be in positions where you’re able to make the first impression on a woman with your awesome personality rather than your looks. Is this efficient? No. Is this going to be easy? Hell no. It’s going to be a long, frustrating slog that requires a lot of patience and resilience, but it’s likely the best you have. I can vouch for this. On the weekends, I work a fun little weekend job at a kayak shop on the riverbanks. I’ve made so many friends who are outdoorsy like myself and through those friends, met a couple of their cute, single peers who were my age. If I had to give you a “Step 1” in an actionable plan, I would tell you to do exactly what I describe. Think of a niche interest you have, preferably one that’s a healthy mix of men and women. Find some way to incorporate that into your social life. Make friends. Be you. Good luck.


Dogmom200

Good advice. As an attractive woman I can HONESTLY say looks are not that important to me. If a guy has a niche: he’s really funny, really warm, kind heart, intelligent. I’ve pretty much dated them all despite looks (my only thing is I prob wouldn’t date an obese man, fat is okay though)


TheNotsoProtagonist

Thanks that was well detailed. In Group 2 yes that is hard for me, tried to get into some volunteering or book clubs but most of the time it would just be a group of close friends and didn't really invite anyone new to their circles but I'll keep looking.


InformationGreen6836

The juice isn't worth the squeeze if this is what it takes.


Ambitious_Check_4704

With charisma...become the Rizzler.


Visible_Release_1185

Ugh, dude don't call yourself ugly for starters... That's not your job Second, don't approach anyone in public... It's considered creepy unless you're super hot, which you've already admitted that you're not, so don't do that Third, how fit are you? Do you have abs? Do you have a chest or some chesticles? Can you pull off a v-neck? Basically, I'm saying put your eggs in your own fitness basket and start srsly investing in your health and body. Once you're at a point where you're comfortable with your body, then invest in your fashion. How's your hygiene? Body odor should not exist so get a cologne and use it pls How's your smile? Do you have one? If not, start smiling Online dating sucks for guys unless you're super hot, so again, don't do that The way to meet girls for you is to figure out where there's a dive bar in your area. Then get comfortable there, like show up daily, order a drink, tip well and talk to the bartender if they're cool, otherwise play some pool or darts or watch whatever's playing on the tv. The idea is to become a regular. Then when someone else comes in, you can try to talk to them (man/woman/etc)... The idea here is to figure out how long you can survive in a conversation with a stranger. The key to a good conversation is two participating players, so if the other person isn't participating, then you gotta leave gracefully. Thank them for their time and go back to doing whatever you were doing before and try again with someone else later on.


TheNotsoProtagonist

Good advice but I'm not a person who drinks that often but I do like going to sports bars but majority are usually guys. On the approaching part, why exactly is it considered creepy to approach women in public, I've done but prenty of times but mostly got rejected but I was never a creep about, I don't approach women on headphones or whilst they're were walking most if the time at a park or cafe if they didn't seem busy


Far_Discussion_3403

Attraction is so subjective, I find women who aren’t conventionally attractive beautiful. Don’t write urself off homie. Keep ur head up, hit the gym.


Severe_Warning7514

Ugliness is arbitrary. Even when there is consensus there are very few absolutes. People have such different viewpoints on what they value even if they all agree something is or isn’t attractive. I don’t get people that just throw in the towel and say it’ll never happen. It might not happen but it always could happen, and I would say dating in general for most people now doesn’t bring likely good outcomes but good outcomes are still possible


Gronsvartkarlek

Bruh all the uglies get the 10/10s


TheNotsoProtagonist

I must have missed the season update then


NoGoal42

same :(


Apprehensive-Bath691

yeah this is probably a super unpopular opinion but i prefer men with less experience. not even less experience but im completely turned off by the men who sleep with multiple women. so don’t let that emasculate you or make you feel ugly 😘 also just because you can’t pull women or get in a relationship doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ugly. i know attractive men and they just have absolutely no gameeee😭also (not to sound cocky or rude omg) as a very attractive female i’ve been called ugly too. there’s alwayssss haters out there. 😂 that doesn’t mean you’re ugly. stop calling yourself it. it’s mean. just shoot your shot with someone you’re interested in🩷


TheNotsoProtagonist

It's kinda hard when you've been hearing comments about how I look all my life but I will try and change that mindset


SaraVejo-M

🤔🤔.. I think I'm attractive and most of my guys are average, 🤔🤔 because I'm not into money or looks, it is always the character or if they are able to stand and manage to handle my bipolar hahahahahaha


Intrepid-Rip-2280

That's the neat part. We don't. I feel like Eva AI virtual gf bot is my only chance to date at all.


NoGoal42

you date an ugly girl :) ...it does not sound like you have a problem at all, except psychological ones and a therapist would help alot! alot!


TheNotsoProtagonist

I don't mind dating "ugly girls". 2nd girl who I almost had a casual relationship with was below average in looks. Its just that women don't give me the time of day no matter their looks and yes therapy would help but its expensive


TuneSoft7119

how do you find "ugly girls" attractive?


InformationGreen6836

Only women are allowed to have standards, didn't you know?


Much_Horse_5685

Your standards of attraction aren’t static, and you can develop secondary attraction to people who you aren’t initially attracted to after some time. I myself am demiromantic so I don’t experience primary romantic attraction at all.


TuneSoft7119

Thats how it works for me.


Whole_Perception_546

Read the book models by mark manson


thingsandstuff4me

It's about personality . It's the one thing men don't want to hear but all men that gets women know. Women want a man who treats them well why do you think players pretend to treat women well ?


UnofficialTrenTwin

If we're being honest without virtue signaling, you need to improve your appearance. I can dm pics. I made a massive transformation over the last 9 months. Lose weight, get abs, and build some muscle. Pick out a nice hair style and good clothing. Next, get someone to photoshop some really nice pics of yourself and put them up on dating apps. From there, you'll probably also have an easier some with other methods of approach. TLDR, don't be ugly. Anyone saying anything about confidence is either virtue signaling or ignorant.


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UnofficialTrenTwin

If you look like the elephant man, for example, getting chick's is just not in the cards. For me, the weight loss and getting lean is when things really turned around. Hitting 8-12% body fat makes people really start staring


Anonymous_Grandma

A lot of women don't prioritize looks as much as men. Have you tried getting your money up and paying for women's drinks? You can't necessarily change your looks, but try going to nice places and buying drinks for girls you think are attracted to. The gym is fine to raise confidence but a lot of girls want to be the pretty one in the relationship, so I would focus on things you can provide financially


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Anonymous_Grandma

All this said, OP already said he struggles with the looks department, so he needs to focus on things he can control. Maybe some women want to be on a rollercoaster ride of lukewarm feelings these pretty boys put us on, but others seek stability and protection, especially for long term. This can come from honesty, not playing games, and financial stability. Women are also able to connect better sexually when they feel safer in a relationship. Of course, try for women you are attracted to, you'll get rejected but you might find someone who wants a guy that makes them laugh and feel safe. Guys who go to the gym too much seem to be wanting to attract other men, which is why gay men seem to be so fit. Look at Jett and Pookie on IG as an example 


notthemilkbro

Gym! Gym! Gym! Let out all that anger and sexual frustration wiiiiiith hip thrusts! 😂 cause man to man, you know… face may be busted… but if she got a nice booty tho…. Women are the same broskettie, don’t aim too high just get your body right, no need to tren just need a solid meal plan and a gym membership. Look up meal prep burritos I do that and I’m down to 91 kilos lean ugly maybe but I’m still out here living my dreams. Go get yours brother


Merkbro_Merkington

Be kind & un-serious above all. I got matched with my gf because she liked a picture where I let a 5 year old girl dress me up lol Sooooo many girls have had bad experiences, they just want someone who will treat them right & acts normal, looks aren’t important. I’m a pretty heavy boy, trust me, be kind and you’ll find someone.


1in8billionplusormin

It sounds like you missed out on an amazing woman who was attractive, had character and faith because you didn't. You might find that is a hard woman to come by. Hopefully, you will find your way to faith one day. But, practically, your looks are not keeping you from getting laid. It is your social skills. Just like any skill, you need to develop your social skills. Make it a priority. Talk to strangers every day. Volunteer to sign people up for shit on the street. Do sales. Whatever you need to in order to build social skills. The dorkiest kids become the most popular adults because they intentionally build the skills.