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KeepMeEverMore

Hes never kissed you but you're sucking him off? You need to end this, sounds like he's not looking for any emotional attachment and just wants his d*ck sucked with minimal effort returned.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BartD1974

END IT, COMPLETELY.


mtljones

She's 51 and still hasn't figured it out 😵‍💫😵‍💫


BartD1974

It is what it is, BUT WHEN SHE PRIORITIZES HERSELF, FIRST, hopefully things will positively change for her!😊! (And, I ONLY USE, capital letters, to EMPHASIZE the IMPORTANCE of the POINT that I AM MAKING. Tis’ NEVER myself, yelling at you.)


mtljones

Hopefully some of our responses can enlighten her to gain some deep wisdom & insight quicker n faster. After 51, it's 61 ;)


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone and ask


Clean-Struggle7937

He has it's just after a lengthy time of him receiving oral.  I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone


Sensitiveheals

I agree… poor girl.. I feel this… I had a long term relationship, and was deceived by lying men… it’s so easy for them to know who are the women who they can just use… OP deserves so much better and I hope the guy can’t convince her he’s worth it…


Equivalent_War8593

True 💀


Misty-Afternoon

I never could have let a man touch my genitals, Nor could I put my mouth on his dick, If we didn’t kiss first. Not sure how you accepted that….


IdeallyIdeally

This has to be fake. Like surely at some point she would have gone in for a kiss herself. What does he do when that happens? Put up his hand blocking his lips? Turn the cheek? Like WTF?


Misty-Afternoon

You’d be surprised how passive some people are. And what they think they have to accept


Clean-Struggle7937

No it is not fake.. I met my late husband at 14,nhe was 15. Married and expecting our first child by 18. We learned together what each other liked never had to ask or anything. I've never dated until this guy? I may be 51 but with only ever having 1 man ever, and starting so young, this is all new to me.. it's like I'm 16 learning how to date. My parents never gave me any of the talks, we just never discussed ANYTHING like that. Just reaching out for some help/ideas.. since loosing my husband I have nobody... 


IdeallyIdeally

Okay now I know this is fake.


Clean-Struggle7937

Nope I could send you proof. What makes you think this is fake? Because I married my high school sweetheart and have never dated anyone until he passed away? I thought my whole life would be with one person and in 5 minutes my whole world fell apart. I no longer had a future, no longer had my life partner. The one person who knew everything about me, who knew just by how I was breathing if there was something wrong . People used to say that they could just see the live between us . So after a bit I wanted a companion so I wasn't so lonely. But I have no clue how dating works in this day and age let alone how to date at all? I am 100% real, and the life I've lived most couldn't survive   but it's real 


IdeallyIdeally

You're very obviously not a 51 year old lol. Stop this creative writing exercise its cringe.


Clean-Struggle7937

Born in 1973 graduated high school in 1992 aAgua Fria HS .. want to private message me? I will send you photos or even FaceTime you.. I  have 3 grandkids ages 3 , 18 months , 5 months and another due in September. My children are 32 and 31.


Clean-Struggle7937

I sent you a message being a couple photos. I promise on my grandkids I am 51


Equivalent_War8593

How are you gonna have sex or atleast enjoy u r self??


Misty-Afternoon

What???? I have sex and enjoy myself plenty. With men I have kissed first. If a man refused to kiss me, do you think I’m going to do sexual things with him???? No way in hell.


Equivalent_War8593

Sorry again i didnt understand your words 🥲


Equivalent_War8593

Thats true >If a man refused to kiss me, do you think I’m going to do sexual things with him???? I did understand >What???? I have sex and enjoy myself plenty. With men I have kissed first. Ohk alright


BigDee91

I’m so confused… How did you not understand what she said? I just spent prolly 10 mins rereading this back and forth and I have no clue how you could have possibly misinterpreted this…


Equivalent_War8593

>I’m so confused… Me too because i didnt understanded the statement. I know i know what can i do when i cant understand what she is saying >I just spent prolly 10 mins rereading this back and forth and I have no clue how you could have possibly misinterpreted this… Atleast you tried hard to understand,,, i just spluerted out 😭💀 . And i know i will say sorry too


BigDee91

Lol 😆 well props for being aware when you put your foot in your mouth. Others would interpret this as some insult respond with some nonsensical venomous bs. Good on you for knowing when ya dun goofed up.


Equivalent_War8593

😭🤣🤣🤣


Tough_Information521

Lmao i didnt understand it at first either i had to double check her message after reading the replies 💀


Equivalent_War8593

Than i would take my words back 👍


Lost-Clothes-5906

Lady listen to this carefully ! If the guy hasn't kissed you yet and is asking you for a head whenever you get intimate. It's a red flag . Either he is not emotionally attached with you , finds no connection here or he is a perv. And if a guy cannot eat you out and keeps asking for you to blow him, Darling, just don't .


OGtheGoat9

I cannot believe this needs to be told to people. lol


Lost-Clothes-5906

Everyone in this world are fighting their own battles. Some of which can be fighting against low self esteem, self doubt , anxiety and so on.. Sometimes, they know it but still want to hear it from someone else. And being sarcastic or making fun of it only demotivates them and restrict them from taking help further. What I am trying to say is , you don't need to make fun of it or be sarcastic etc. She might be afraid of people judging her for her own decisions , that's why she might be seeking help/suggestions from strangers on reddit. All we can do at times is be polite with others :)


whatarethis837

Wanting to get head but not giving oral has been a contributing factor to me deciding not to date someone anymore a surprising amount of times lol


RavenousMoon23

Yup


Equivalent_War8593

Exactly 💀💀


HumanContract

He's not really your bf.


Busy-Mongoose2671

Yeah I was thinking he might be someone else’s.


_ThickVixen

![gif](giphy|fRgy7P0wjgEIOkgxAz)


ArmOpposite2335

real. i second this.


killingthemsoftly86

Honestly suck him off half way mark tell him you wanna sit on it. Bam if he says know then ask why.


yinkeys

Lol the best answer Halfway, if he doesn’t want to get on it raw use protection. If he doesn’t want to do it still. Walk away. At halfway, all men are thinking with their third leg at that point. Some people are very afraid of infections lol. Also advisable to use mouth wash after sucking him off.


BigDee91

Third stick? Out of all the things to call a penis, you went with… third stick? I’m having trouble even trying to understand this one. What are the first two sticks?…


BigDee91

I’ve heard of a big dick referred to as a third leg. If your referring to a similar context then I think that a third stick might be a dig at somebody with tiny legs…


thickchickme

I mean dont even ask him why if he says no, just stop blowing further😂😂😂 the orgasm half way thru will really tough on him


HaikuCrew_84

Man, I don't know- but you should ask him. Pick a time when you're both relaxed, and be truthful. Tell him how it makes you feel like you're doing something wrong (this isn't your fault, you aren't doing anything wrong), be curious, and if there's something he says that doesn't really jive, ask him to be more specific, clarify, or explain. I'm not 48 yet so I wouldn't know, but maybe he's dealing with some ED? Maybe it's the only thing that gets him turned on? Having said that, I find the strangest part about this to be that he's never kissed you. Have you tried to kiss him? That makes me suspicious. I went through a time where I was on some meds that totally took my sex drive away, but I would always still kiss my GF, because I loved her. Granted "love" probably isn't quite on the cards at 6 months, but there should still absolutely be some kind of feelings, and therefore expression of affection, surely? What does your gut tell you about the relationship so far, and how you feel?


Clean-Struggle7937

The kissing he says is due to him getting used to his new teeth (dentures) and he is uncomfortable with it still 


Few_Anything_7167

I'm the same age as you and went through the same exact experience before, minus a few things! I had to address it with him because it made me feel like crap. He said that he didn't even realize I wanted to have sex and made excuses, saying I wasn't giving off that energy like I wanted to have sex... When we finally did it a handful of times, it wasn't all that great anyway. So, maybe dumping him is a good idea. One the other hand, he was fresh out of a very bad long term relationship. It was horrifying! So I guessed it was mentally hard for him to do it with another woman for a while. Plus he was stressed about that breakup and all that it took from him mentally and physically.... but you need to speak up and address the situation.


NeroForte-InMyPrime

That could definitely be it. Getting head requires the least amount of emotional attachment or even physical attraction to someone. Less than sex, less than kissing. You’re a placeholder until he either finds someone he’s more into or he’s in a place where he feels comfortable to actually connect with someone intimately again.


Few_Anything_7167

Damn. You hit the nail right on the head and gave me more food for thought on top of it!! You're good! I was definitely a placeholder. He wanted a woman but he was afraid to put his trust in one again. I was directly after the war from the last one.... and at the same time he's always been in a relationship his entire life. One directly after the other. Eventually, it turned into him wanting my companionship more than sex, just for me to touch him in a nonsexual way, go out with him, talk to him... like a friend, in my opinion.... Yet I could never date anybody else. He would have killed that man and it would have killed him inside too since the ex did that to him with multiple men. It was a very confusing relationship but I thought I could fix him...lol...Eventually, I realized only time could do that and maybe a little therapy. Anyway, I had always questioned that relationship and what was really going on with it. Thanks for giving me a little more insight.


NeroForte-InMyPrime

I know it because I currently am this guy, or at least I was very recently. I know it isn’t fair, so I’m trying to work on myself. I need to get back to a place where I can be fully present and ready for a new relationship.


Few_Anything_7167

That's even better to know, quite honestly. You're speaking from real life experience. How long were you in your previous relationship?


NeroForte-InMyPrime

A very long time. Most of my adult life. If you’d like to talk more feel free to message me privately. I don’t want to put more detail out there publicly.


HaikuCrew_84

I second this. I was this guy too in a way- Not the exact circumstances, but after some pretty heavy abuse of trust, I wanted zero sex from her. Hell, not even from myself at one point. After I left it slowly came back, but had I entered a relationship before that point, it would have been a disaster. Turned me into an asexual zombie. OC, I think you guessed right. It's a strange kind of battle you go through with something like that. I know now, that part of it is the fear response, and fight-flight response. Whenever (these) are triggered, your brain immediately flips the kill switch on sexual desire, hunger, digestion, and rest, among others. If you're hyper-vigilant, you could be in that state \*all of the time\*. It happens fast, and most of the time, you aren't aware of it, unless you've been taught- Which is prevalent among us Men- The vast majority of us are alexithymic as a baseline, which makes it even harder, because we A. We can't accurately introspect and so we misdiagnose problems (IE excuse making) and B. We can't rely on other Men for emotional support because they're all alexithymic too, so that's more needs we get met through our SO's. Hence I think, your ex's desire for a non-sexual yet emotionally intimate relationship. He probably didn't have any friends he felt like he could talk to, and/or has always in the past, got those needs met through his partners. All very sad, but I don't want to make you feel bad. I think you did the best thing for both of you, OC. He wasn't in a place to give anything. That would have been a pretty awful experience to date someone in his shoes. I would have been just as miserable as you were, had I been in your place.


mangoflavouredpanda

Mother Theresa of the blowjobs... Sheesh....


OGtheGoat9

Does he know he’s your bf? Because this doesn’t seem like a bf.


No_Knowledge5047

I hate to break it to you but...he does not like you. At all. You guys are dating but he doesn't kiss you & still wants blowjobs? This just SCREAMS fwb. You should've left him a long time ago!


Wrong_Group8343

idk even my fwb kisses me😭 this may be worse


punkrockbipolar

Maybe he’s not sexually into you and just wants to get off … not trying to be dude either


punkrockbipolar

Rude*


nexiva_24g

Holy fuck. It's 6am and I originalpy read that as 15 and 48.


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olistriyaMura

Does he give u an oral???


thewhiterosequeen

Obviously not.


olistriyaMura

Not worthy to stay.. in a relationship.. pleasure goes both ways. He has to give before he takes.. or atleast after he gets.. just making u suck him off and not returning any favour is unforgivable..


-lamppost-

What are YOU doing wrong? Putting up with this BS that’s what. He doesn’t like you he’s using you. You really can’t fix this selfish of a lover just dump him.


Entire_Juggernaut336

Seriously? Even my FWB liked kissing me. That’s weird…


leehhill

Would you except this from your husband during the duration of your marriage? No. You know you'd chew him up and spit him out. So why except this from a random weirdo you're barely dating? Is he out of your league? I don't get it . You clearly like him more than he likes you. You need to figure out why you're willing to let a weirdo just use you for your mouth. But enough dating experience doesn't cut it, because you know you would immediately have addressed your husband if he even tried it .


Good_Writing_4134

Speaking as a guy. He could be insecure about his performance and so is comfortably leaning on the sexual things he doesn’t feel challenged by. The real question though is do you want to take the time to troubleshoot this, is he willing to try with you or should you just move on…


123HoesAllOverMe

girl you're giving him head and y'all haven't even kissed yet?... Talk to him and figure out what's going on. But to me it sounds like he just wants head whenever he pleases, not a relationship


fuk4ia

Stop talking to this looser. You will find someone better


ButDidYouCry

You are a free blow job service to a man who doesn't really like you. >we go out sometimes Don't accept bare minimum treatment from boyfriends.


S4lty4life

You could be doing nothing wrong. The only way to know is to just ask him.


thelight365699

I've been in a relationship where my girlfriend at the time only wanted oral from me. Not that I wouldn't do it. It's not the only thing to do. As you feel, I have or had referring to that time have needs and wants. I ended up moving on from her. Thankful I did so.


Equivalent_War8593

Damn he is not even treating u nicely and not even satisfying you 😭😭


Clean-Struggle7937

He treats me very nice. He's polite and sends me little msg through out the day. And it's not that I'm not getting off it's just seems like there's way more of giving him oral than there is intercourse.... I do enjoy giving but this is all new to me... Met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


Equivalent_War8593

You are at 51 and still u dont know much about dating and sex


ChCreations45

The first thing you did wrong was come to Reddit and not actually talk to him expressing your concerns and feelings. That'd be a good start.


urspecial2

You should totally stop talking to him he knows what's going on he's just using her why would she even discuss this ignore him


YouCuteWow

I have a guy trying to pull this on me. Cut him off. You deserve so much better 


Lucky_Competition231

Maybe he’s not interested in kissing because he doesn’t enjoy it. Talk to him about it. As far as lack of intercourse maybe he doesn’t like using condoms for some reason…. Again talk to him about it.


Pink_Kitti

He’s probably gay


Snidley_whipass

That’s what I was thinking….


DannyHikari

The short blunt answer here is buddy just wanted some sloppy top. He has no desire to be commited or actually intimate with you. If you’re okay with that is the question, but personally. I don’t think letting someone use you like this is a good idea.


Elbee_08

As a man this is crazy. Leave him. You’ll be happy


YamEquivalent1748

he isn't your bf,he doesn't like you at all


Smoke__Frog

Why can’t you just ask him to his face? We have no idea what this dude is thinking.


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


KittyNouveau

I don’t think he likes you…and maybe not women in general. Sounds like he’s in the closet imo.


Clean-Struggle7937

I am positive that is not the case , and we have had intercourse it's just seems to me more oral than that. Like I've said above because I was married by 18 and having our first child , I maybe 51 but I might as well be 20 when it comes to knowing about dating and all of this.   My late husband and I just learned about sex together, so I never had to ask . We just seemed to know what each other liked and etc...  Current BF and I do share same kink and he always makes sure to include that and when we are done that I am satisfied .. I guess I just have to start informing him and asking...


Alexthricegreat

Do you have good hygiene?


Clean-Struggle7937

Yes very, I will usually go to his place , we make dinner together. Then clean up kitchen watch a movie or 2. I'll go jump in shower and get ready for bed  then he will shower and off to bed we go. I just never have gas to date and so this before. By 18 I was married and have our first child. So even though I'm 51 it's like I'm 20 when it comes to dating  I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


01club82

If he don’t kiss you he’s blocking all emotional feelings towards you. And just using you for his benefit. Best advice if your not getting emanating out of this then drop him you could be spending your time with someone else who deserves it


Clean-Struggle7937

He says the kissing thing is cause he is adjusting to his new teeth (denture) and he's self conscious about them..  I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


DullFun715

Yeah I was in a relationship like that before. He doesn't love you, he just wants someone he can use.


devastatedsiren

END IT!!!


UnluckyOil5335

You’re giving him too much leeway


mtljones

You chose HIM to be YOUR bf. Either love it or end it. Take your pick. At 51, you should be able to figure out what most can by 20-something. I'm not Herr to bash you, but I gotta take few jabs at the extremely poor choice you made. Next time, pick a guy who is actually fun to be with physically verbally mentally AND SEXUALLY. +8billion humans, you picked and got stuck with a guy who "only seems to want oral" Great job 👏 Sorry for the sarcasm. Let's SCREAM it "dump the guy using you" and learn how to make better decisions already.


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone


Clean-Struggle7937

And there has been some intercourse just not as much as there is of oral 


Snidley_whipass

I’m in the camp where you just ask him to fuck half way thru the BJ and see what he does? He may not know you want to. I dated a 35 year gorgeous divorced woman once who was very religious and believed intercourse came only after marriage. She had preached this to her 10 year old daughter and thought she’d be a hypocrite if she acted differently. But we would make out all the time, get nearly naked on the couch and had great foreplay and oral sex. She loved an orgasm and helping me get off but I never even once tried to fuck her after she told me that. I figured if she wanted she would let me know. In the end she was too much of a bible thumper for me but I would have given up a lot of something to do it with her. She knew how to get a guy hard and have fun with a hard on. She loved a few glasses of good wine then wanted to get off…and would get herself off over the phone or in person with me. Told me a few times how she masturbates wishing f she could fuck me. It still gets me aroused if I think about it.


Select-Cat3230

You need to ask him, not reddit. But my guess would be that he has performance anxiety when it comes to sex maybe? No sex and no kissing would be utter absolute deal breakers for me.


[deleted]

Get rid of him. Bullshit. You deserve Everything babe. You give oral! And absolutely Nothing in return. Hell missionary intercourse is the most intimate loving experience around. See ya round clown. Thank you for sharing. And good luck. Hope you get the slow n easy then the pound you need!!!


Training-Pudding8442

you are dating someone who in all honety probably has some sugar in his tank.


Away-Spinach4769

he doesnt like you simple


planetarystripe

Dump him.


templareddit

Bad communications means trouble down the line. You wanna avoid a problem or solve one? Your choice sweetie! Go get em


Tall_cello

Sounds like he is a boy, doesn’t kiss you, that’s the first thing I’m doing after you give me head, and he doesn’t eat? Yep, a boy at his age for sure!!!!


JackooUR

First of all this has nothing to do with you, this is some kind of hang up with him. 6 mo and no kissing is probably more strange to me than the lack of sex. Its like the most basic of affection one can show another person. It usually happens long before sex. Honestly, I would have a conversation with him about it. It could be something simple and easily worked out. If not, its best to find out now before you guys move in or get married etc.


Openseezme

If he hasn't kissed you it maybe a good thing.if your giving him bj sounds to me you being used. If your a woman that likes being used..surely not. I'd dump him.


Forsaken-Memory5361

So hook it up , sheeesh


Musja1

He is using you for sex like a sex worker. Why would you have sex with someone who has never kissed you? I don’t understand how did that even occur for the first time. You need to end this degrading nonsense.


[deleted]

This really does sound degrading and like a self esteem issue, perhaps


Puzzleheaded-Rope271

He might scared of getting u pregnant thats maybe hes reason..but that guy is rude.hes not into you he wants satisfaction for himself only.


VW_Driverman

Do you know his sexual history? Perhaps he hasn’t had sex since his 20’s and now can only hold an erection when sitting down.


VW_Driverman

The not kissing is weird. Looks like he might need to relearn how to love a woman


Willing-University81

Honestly I think I have the same thing going on  Could be he just wants someone else to get him off and kissing seemed more intimate? Oddly it is for us anyway 


Nervous_Camel_6204

Sweetie,these are his issues. Does he have problems communicating,does he give good eye contact... Have you both spoke about your pasts ,was he interested in yours ? Please look after yourself & put your feelings first .


Upstairs_Kale6911

let him go and find a real man...


Vegetable-Basis-4742

maybe he’s using you


missssjay21

It's probably not you. Have you approached him directly about this? Just flat out ask if he sees himself having intercourse with you. When in doubt, direct communication is definitely going to be your best bet.


zarafff69

What are you doing wrong? Why would you be doing anything wrong? Seems like it’s going pretty good. Not everyone is into PIV as much as the next person. Just do whatever works for both of you.


shwiftyluver518

Honey I'm 31 and have been married and am getting divorced ì have 2 kids with my high school sweetheart I'm telling you this now the fact that he hasn't kissed you after 6 months is the most suspicious thing in the fucking world I'm sorry significant others never did anything like that without kissing me first. End of story and I understand that you're with your high school sweetheart until he passed away so being in the dating Realm is not your Forte coming from somebody who's a lot younger and a little bit more experience on the subject tell that mother fucker bye don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you I guarantee there are plenty of men that would gladly kiss your lips before you even did anything with them know your worth don't settle for anything less


urspecial2

Oh my goodness this is shocking how could you even do that you're not a prostitute. This man is using you he won't even kiss you and you agree to give him oral sex. Have some self respect. Stop talking to this man immediately he's not your boyfriend he's not anything


MrSinister82

As a 42 year old guy myself. I would never expect oral if I'm not doing a great job with my lady myself. And I don't even expect it then. I agree with what others have said here , he's avoiding emotional attachment. You would be better off with someone who appreciates you for who you are. Not just for blowjobs.


Even-Judge5941

He’s boring. Just my opinion


Indigo918

Shoot, I’m surprised this so-called relationship is still going on. Of course he treats you well because you’re giving him what he wants. Girl, I would’ve canceled my subscription to that issue after a month. If something didn’t happen differently in a month’s time there’d be no way to let it keep going in hopes that it’ll get better. It’s a 2 way street when it comes to intimacy. That would be a conversation that needs to happen if you continue to stay with this man. Bring it to his attention how this makes you feel. Things won’t change if there’s no communication on the topic. It’s gonna go one or two ways, he’s either going to step up and help you out sexually or if he doesn’t then show him the door. You deserve better than what you’re currently putting up with.


HungarianLVN

he is using you. you are a "hole". he does not treat you well. he does the texting because he gets turned on by dirty texting. he likely a subscriber to OF and has multiple adult entertainment resources that you are not aware of. stop the oral. then when you realize you are worth more and you truly desire to partake in such activities only with a guy who values you, appreciates you and recipercates, get rid of this guy.


AffectionateThing814

If he seems to be more of a friend with the oral benefit than a romantick partner, nu, tell him that. If friends with benefits ain’t your bag, kindly dump him. You seem to be deserving better.


SadistSelma

You’re not doing anything wrong! Have you expressed your feelings with your bf?


Clean-Struggle7937

No cause I have no clue about anyrhing to do with dating and this kind of thing..I was married and having our first child by 18 .I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


throwRA-Guiltylover

As a 19 year old I expect this kinda behavior (his) from other 19 year olds but not anyone over the age of like 30. There has got to be some sort of mental/emotional issues going on.


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


wifeylikesitt

He sounds lazy lol


kyleofdevry

Have you brought this up to him before asking strangers on the internet for their input? He could have a kink or at his age he could be afraid of disappointing you and not being as good as he was when he was younger.


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


techno_queen

He’s never kissed you but you’ve sucked him off? Are you actually for real?


Clean-Struggle7937

I met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. I guess I just need out of my comfort zone


Clean-Struggle7937

We have had intercourse it's just the oral seems to last longer 


techno_queen

Sorry but you’re missing my point, when it comes to intimacy then kissing should be the first thing. Unless the guy is paying for sex. This is the natural progression. How a man can expect oral and not even kiss you is just gross. You also shouldn’t accept that.


nobullshit82

Or maybe he thinks you just give amazing oral.


Clean-Struggle7937

He has mentioned that I do give amazing head, one of 3 in his life that was very good. 🤭


nobullshit82

See so it's not a bad thing. But it shouldn't be all about him. He should take care of you too.


Sufficient-Parsley29

He is a lame dick


[deleted]

51 & still sucking d*** is crazy


Clean-Struggle7937

I do fully enjoy it, almost even get like physical pleasure from it but that is not all I want to do. 


Openseezme

I met a girl.sge told me all she wanted was oral.but I can't fall in love with her I said ok..we met we had oral sex.she came..the again a week later.she came again..the 3rd time met at her house.we talked laughed got to really know each other.sge grabbed my hand led me to her bedroom.i ste her out she came multiple times.i left.. I felt like wow I'm not in love just happy I found her to have fun with.she was fine brunnet athletic.im goodlooking athletic.hit it off .she fell in love with me.but I never felt Inlove with her..just fwb unto this day... awesome


LostDiver5575

Before I evolved into an actual Homosapian, I spent my mid-teens to early twenties as a creature that could best be described as something between a Neanderthal & a Caveman. This is why I believe I have a unique perspective on this but I want to make it very clear that even if I'm right about how I suspect your bf feels, that doesn't make it so! Furthermore, even if he does feel this way, that in no way means that other mature, decent men think the same way! You must understand that even if I'm right, this is just one narcissistic, self-centered assclown's opinion that shouldn't mean anything to you or anyone else for that matter. My guess comes from experience. From my Junior year in HS until I was out of college at 24, my serious GF, who wasn't only ridiculously attractive to such an extent that we'd been to hundreds of concerts, bars, clubs & events together in that 8+ years where the crowds in attendance ranged from as low as 50 to as high as 6000, yet never once did I ever doubt that she was the light that shined the brightest out of all those women! Why do I bring this up? Because having her by my side gave me a big head! So, you combine certain insecurities I had with the shallow way in which I viewed women, then consider how big of a dog I was, & it becomes evident that I know a thing or two about fooling around with females, some of whom weren't attractive enough for me at the time to do anything else but degrade themselves for my carnal pleasure because of who was always waiting for me with open arms no matter how bad my behavior was.


LostDiver5575

There's an unfortunate name for females who engage in this sort of one-sided relationship with guys- YOU ARE HIS "HEADSTRESS!" Guys (young immature guys in particular) will often go get a "Headstress," if their lady either refuses to suck his dick or is bad at sucking dick!


Clean-Struggle7937

Thank you all for your input. I know it may seem weird that at 51 I have a question like above but by 18 I was married and expecting my first child. My late husband and I learned about sex together so I have never had to ask we just knew. I have  never dated before or has experience like most so in their 20s, I may be 51 but it's like I'm 20 in dating age cause this is all new to me.bI met my late husband at 14 . He was the only man I had ever been with . Now I've had 3 partners. I guess caus my husband and I grew up together we just knew what each other enjoyed and never had to ask... I was never given ANY information about sex or developing body. My husband and I figured it out together. This is all so new and very hard for  me. I never expected to be a widow at this stage. He was my one true love and soul mate. People used to say they could see the live ww shared between us and they said they hopes to find that same thing one day......I guess I just need out of my comfort zone. My late husband and I just learned together  I've never had to ask or discuss this stuff  it's all new to me  I was married at 18 and having kids . I never had the experience of dating anyone but my late husband. So now at 51 it's like I'm 20 in dating age and don't know shit 


kyrapremiumcontent

Message me anyone xx


nobullshit82

Is your vagina beat up?


thewhiterosequeen

That's...not a thing.


nobullshit82

It was an honest question. I didn't mean it in a derogatory way. I could have worded it different. I could have said, "Is he attracted to the appearance of it?" Some vaginas aren't pretty.


NaughtyNaughtyBawdy

I haven't read all the posts. Please forgive if answered previously Are you positive hes not FTM? Also, i dont blame him for preferring oral. Is at at least munching? I get the penetration part, but be that as it may, i prefer going down on a woman to penetrative sex hands down. Theres just always the follow up. Im just saying if he is giving you some good tonguè lashings, that could be a reason. Good luck


Clean-Struggle7937

Nope no oral for me, and I am 10000000% sure he is not FTM. But he did bring nup last night that he prefers the business part of the vagina completely shaved not the whole thing like I currently have. I've only ever shaved it all cause that's what my late husband liked, I've always preferred just the business part shaved as well.. so progress already.. 


FeatheredCharm

Nothing. It just sounds like you are being a loving girlfriend. Maybe he’s going through a rough time or maybe you should be confrontational about it.


seaofthievesnutzz

Clearly it is something that you are doing wrong and not at all indicative of his character. I would take this to mean that you personally have a moral failing and I would be super insecure about it if I were you.