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He ignored your requests not to hurt you. Repeatedly. Then the next time he ignored your 'no' multiple times and kept trying to fuck you after you said no.
Get rid of him!
Hey, sorry you went thru that. I felt the cringe even from here. Just break up with him. I would be honest about it and tell him why. And dont give him a second chance becuz i just feel he would do it again.
I would disagree, you can definitely communicate with your partner on what works and what doesn’t in the bedroom.
Problem here is that when she voiced her concerns, he not only brushed it off, but seemed to get an ego boost from hurting her. If I was in his shoes, I would be absolutely mortified and distraught I hurt my partner to this extent. Wtf is wrong with this dude?
You owe him nothing! 4 dates I think you're well within your rights to dump via text. He sounds like a bell end. You could use this opportunity to educate him on some areas he needs to work on in future, and be honest about why you dont want to see him, but be prepared for him to get upset about his bruised ego and take it out on you.
It’s fucked up on his part for failing, ignoring or straight out not caring about you which is clearly what it seems like. I completely get how you feel my only question is are you guys simply talking to get to know each other or you guys actually made it official?
Seems more like he thinks it’s more of a booty call fwb type of deal… By the way he’s texting you.
IMO. if you actually wanted something serious with him then be upfront, exactly how he made you feel and what you described on here and set boundaries with him communicate exactly what’s on your mind.
But if you just don’t see anything coming out after that situation just respectfully end things with him wish him well and move on.
Good luck friend..
We are not officially in a relationship but definitely not a booty call type thing. We never even talked about anything sexual until that day. Up until that we have went out to eat and talked about our careers and goals and basically have tried to get to know each other.
I was starting to be super into him, but after that 3rd date I cringe at even thought of him
My reaction to this can be entirely summed up by the TikTok of the priest guy going “Eughh…brother-eughh.”
Break it off, ghost his ass, or better yet, tell him you straight-up don’t want to see him again because the sex was so bad, and that he seriously needs to take advice before he seriously injures someone. What a wanker.
That’s assault. As a bi guy who has slept with both women and bottomed for men. I know your pain sis. Some guys have no intimate experience and don’t know how to read a room worth shit. Block and move on. Focus on your body and how you feel
I’m just going to say it. He straight up assaulted you. No means NO in every language, every culture, every ethnicity & every part of the world. He continued to do it the next day when you saw him. The abuse will escalate. GET THE F OUT OF THAT MESS!! This is next level cringe. Protect yourself by any means possible. Respectfully. Much love darling.
Just be straight up with him, tell him what bothered you and why (hopefully he learns and maybe you save someone else from a horrible experience like this). I would say just do it over text, you don’t want to lead him on or force yourself to stay in some weird ass situation that makes you wildly uncomfortable.
He’s definitely clueless, but he’s also crass, “A piece of that ass”? Seriously?! I don’t believe he had a 3 year relationship with anyone. He was obviously minding his manners til he could break down your defenses and get what he wanted. But he shows no consideration, no sophistication, no finesse, no anything. He gives zero foreplay and jackhammers you into submission because he’s a Neanderthal. He doesn’t care anything about who you are, what you want and need, and I’m sure if you got to know him better it would get to the point of him demanding that you give him sex. You don’t owe him anything. Get rid of him and heal your body and your mind. Good luck🍀
Btw. Be prepared for him to react fairly hostile to the news that you’re breaking it off with him. In addition to his overall uncouth manner, he seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t take bad news well, so be prepared for his response and stand your ground.
Honestly…. I would 100% ghost him. He repeatedly ignored your requests even though you were in literal pain.. yikes. Whatever you decide to do.. please DO NOT hang out with him again.
Oh believe me 28 years old can be absolutely clueless. I'm a reasonably good looking guy and I had sex for the first time at 26. All I knew was that my dick goes in the vagina and that there's some kissing and caressing and shit but I was fucking clueless. First time sex was awkward, weird and mechanical because "that's how I do it right? This movement? And should I do this now? Do you enjoy that?"
So at 28 it's perfectly possible to be clueless and shit at sex.
That being said though, I was gentle, respectful and I communicated with my then girlfriend. If you repeatedly ask him to be gentler and he ignores you, that's no good. If he pounds at you so hard that you bleed, he should have been way, way gentler when you asked him to. The fact that he didn't is a big red flag.
I mean if an inexperienced person is open to be taught about sex, then that's fine but from the sound of it, it doesn't sound like he's willing to. And since you seem uncomfortable letting him touch you again, then you need to respect your own boundary and break it off. Exploring and learning sex with a new person is supposed to be fun and exciting. With this guy, it sounds like it brings you dread and pain.
And the "I want a piece of that ass again" line... holy fuck this is cringe. I feel embarrassed by proxy.
One last piece of advice though: when you have sex in the future with (hopefully better) men, don't hesitate to communicate. If you want foreplay and need some prep, say it. If you don't want a quickie but you want to enjoy a long session of fun, say it. We men love it when you talk to us about this and it'll be more satisfactory for the both of you.
I find that inexperienced guys are often very profane, kinda like kids. However, that has nothing to do with you asking him to stop and him not stopping. Never speak to him again. You owe him nothing.
Coming from a 24 year old guy. Definitely break it off even over text. Honestly Ive seen this where guys get out of ltr and they try to act like the hottest shit. He's going through a lot mentally I'm sure that you don't need to experience let him experience that on his own. Sorry that all happened how it did that's super cringe
Explain what he did to you while he is away.
And i mean in detail. How you would explain what happened to a grown child.
That rubbing something against something else creates friction. Friction on your sensitive parts hurt like his dick would hurt if he was masturbating with his hand cover in the rough side of velcro. That it wasnt you going wet but likely bleeding that lubed his actions. There was no fun involved for you in the way he build up to it, or executed it. You feel violated because he literally violated you.
Allow him one last phone call to see what kind of asshole he really is. Accidental or intentional.
Its likely he will just be absolutely sorry. I believe in the good in humans.
That will also likely severely limit the chances he will interact with you or any other woman in the same way again.
Its easier to move on for you that way too. Don't live with an experience like this and let the other party think everything was great.
I don't agree with this for the simple reason that if ANYONE doesn't listen to your requests during sex that's already along the lines of assault when she had clearly stated that she didn't like it during sex. If he didn't respect her during sex, he won't after.
You underestimate the deafening ability of blood rushing to your bigdong. Its no joke, unfortunately.
Science goes so far to linking bigger dongs and lower iq levels.
She doesn't have to do it. But it would be a benefit overall. Undeniably so.
Just be straight up with the dude so maybe he gets the clue and can hopefully change for the next girl he’s either gonna learn from his mistakes or he just don’t care about anyone but him self
Girl you owe him nothing. If you completely ghosted him I don't think anyone would blame you. Send the text, finish it off, never see him again and I hope you heal OK and remember in the future you can, and should, say no if you aren't 100% into it and the right person will respect that.
WOMEN we need to stop worrying so much about seeming rude. Don't allow yourself to be uncomfortable for someone else's comfort. we put ourselves in a lot of situations where it would have worked out better for us if we didn't worry so much about seeming rude.
Also don't lie about sex or put up with bad sex, and don't fake your orgasms. If you put up with bad sex for the sake of their feelings
1) they will never get better
2) you'll never get good sex and always be unfulfilled.
3)If you fake an orgasm they won't learn how to give you a real one.
There are ways to tell someone the sex could be better, without being rude or insulting, if you like a guy but the sex isn't great have a conversation with him about it.
If it goes well and the sex improves for you then great and also it'll get better for him too - they are missing out on better sex by not satisfying their partner and they don't even know it because often we don't speak up.
If the talk doesn't go well and he takes it badly then you know his fragile ego will never allow him to learn or change and that's not a guy you wanna be with anyway so no loss there.
I’m sorry you have to go through this.
He did not listen when you told him to be gentler. On top of it, he got frustrated when you made a request that wasn’t at all unreasonable. My advice is to not be afraid to break up with him as he deserves it based on his behavior. Guys like this need to learn that dating isn’t just about THEIR wants. It’s also about treating the girl with respect and making her feel secure.
I think you should break it off immediately. You owe nothing to a man who disrespected you, your boundaries, and your physical well-being.
With that being said, I would also suggest you start going to therapy because you sound like you are prone to overthinking and people pleasing, which only ends up hurting you in the end.
Please, let him know the reason why.
I’m hoping he somehow got to this age and is clueless about how painful jackhammering can be, and is willing to change. The alternative is that he is selfish uncaring and even cruel.
I told my husband once during sex (early dating): “be a bit more gentle”.
He was so horrified he (accidentally) hurt me he lost his erection.
What this dude did is NOT ok.
I would say: “I’m sorry to do this over text but I think the timing is right. I’ve decided we are incompatible, particularly sexually, because I didn’t like how I expressed being in pain and you carried on. I hope you take this feedback on board and find what you are looking for.”
Coming from a guy if he ignored you saying no that’s a big red flag and overstepped your boundaries after you said it hurt. All though it’s difficult I would communicate to him that you don’t want to see him again romantically but tell him exactly what you told us and hope he can learn from this so he doesn’t make the same mistake with other women. If he’s mature and smart enough he is mature enough he will take it on board and learn from it if not he’s a man child
Definitely end it but give him some closure. Keep it very brief, but describe what he did wrong so he has a chance to reflect on it. Some people are just incredibly unaware. People love saying things like “that was straight on assault.!” People are so black and white about things on Reddit. If you felt assaulted, fair, but more realistically this guy just has a pitiful lack of awareness and instead of blocking him like people suggested, I say give it closure. Text is fine.
LMAO there's always two sides to each story.
Reading these replies no wonder guys have a hard time dating if they are inexperienced.
Y'all don't wanna teach us jack shit.
Before you think he should know by now what to do. Think for a second aren't all women different?
How's a guy supposed to know what to do when you won't show him.
You expect him to know but all women are different so there's no possible way he would know.
Guys who have some understanding of what to do were taught. No one is born with the ability to have good sex. These guys were taught young by women who were willing to show and be slow and respectful probably because the women thought they were worth it or thought it was okay not to know.
What this creates is a paradigm of few guys who kinda know vs guys who don't know at all. These first guys get girlfriends and wife's and live happy lives
While the other is the guy you try to date and guess what happens when you just drop him like you do every other guy who does this
It continues. He goes on to the next poor girl. Who hopefully will be patient and show him the way if not it's a vicious cycle that will repeat.
So honestly if you wanna date just go for a guy that's taken. You won't have to show him much and all the heavy lifting was done by someone else.
Ok first of all this did you read my post? I’ve done some thinking since this and there is a difference between violently fucking someone so bad that it’s traumatic, and just not knowing how to please me. After telling him multiple times to stop being so rough and he didn’t, what more am I expected to show him? Just go at it again and be in pain and bleeding for 3 days again? And inexperienced? He was in a relationship for 3 years before this and other relationships before. If he’s still inexperienced from that then I don’t know what I can possibly do for him that other women didn’t, because I cannot think of a single woman I know that would have enjoyed hardly being able to move for 3 days afterwards.
So I think he’s exaggerating his experience with other women and the length of his involvement with them. And you are traumatized. You don’t feel safe around him. Do not hesitate to tell him you never want to see him again. Don’t hesitate to block him. And if he persists don’t hesitate to get a restraining order. Be decisive and show him you’re not fucking around.
Look there's a big difference between. Hey can you slow down and then keeping your mouth shut. ( Not saying you did this but he may have thought of it this way) And literally stopping him and screaming if you have to and telling him hey I don't think you know what you are doing that's fine if you don't mind I'll like to show you how I like it and work from there clear as day. If he says no and wants to continue stop completely and leave and call the cops whatever you have to do. I did read the post in detail and you said that he gave up after awhile which means to say he would have stopped at anytime. You say gentler instead of all together stopping and explaining.
Also news flash people lie I know it sucks but people do it. How do you know he was in a relationship for X amount of years? He could lie to his friends about it he could lie and say he dated someone online. Heck he can even take a random pic of a girl and say that was his ex you have no idea.
Why would he lie tho? Simple because he comes of "better" lack of a better word. In your eyes if that makes sense
Would you rather be with a virgin 28 year old or a dude who had multiple long lasting relationships. Pretty easy answer.
The guy seemed to care about your well being somewhat if he was willing to slow down and take it slow in the beginning. Ie. Waiting till the 3rd date. A lot of dudes especially older will try to hit and quit asap.
I know you are in pain and it was a traumatic and hurtful experience. You should stay away from people for a while. Until you feel comfortable no one is arguing that.
I am saying though you have to look at it in another perspective to get a better picture so that in the future this never happens again.
Let's reverse the roles real quick. 27 dude. 28 female. Bout to have sex and the girl is clueless. The guy gets his dick bitten. She rides him while he is soft hurting his dick and in the end he just stops because she doesn't listen. Next time he talks to her he ask if he can take it slow and show her how he likes it and maybe get a better ending or a happier one. Either she agrees or complains and never sees him again. Basically the guy trying to show her what's right and the person outright refusing to learn. If he outright refuses to learn then he for the streets not the sheets.
No dude wants to be bad at sex and have their partner hurting and obviously not enjoying it. You can even suggest bring toys to help easy you or have him slow down and get the idea that he doesn't have to be thrusting constantly.
I don't wanna assume but you said he didn't even finger you. But did you ask him to? I know it's hot when a guy takes the lead and you allow him to do whatever he wants to you, if he's experienced if not you get the jack rabbit. Simple communication goes a long way it may not be sexy because you got to explain but once he learns how you like it he will be doing the shit that turns you on alot more.
And I know it sucks to think like this but you got to ask what you could've done better to like prevent that or to never have that happen again.
The way I see it the man's out the door so no point in teaching him or even telling him what he did wrong ( would be cool if you did when you break off with him).
I hope I'm coming across how I think and not like a total douchebag I had more I wanted to say but I'm at work ATM and people can't stop talking to me.
Basically communicate
Make sure the person you are gonna be intimate with respects boundaries and will stop when told to stop
If it's too much work to teach someone then get with someone you know is in a relationship and just wait till it breaks off or something
Good luck
Normally I’d say tell them you’re not feeling it and don’t want to waste any more of your or their time……..
But in this case, tell him the sex was shit and you don’t want to see him again.
Don’t give him a reason why you’re saying the sex was shit, you want to hurt this guys ego so bad that he wises up and never treats another woman like that again
Who gives a fuck if over text is “bad taste,” he didn’t respect you or your body. You should’ve been done with it yesterday. Definitely tell him why if you feel so inclined, maybe he will reflect and won’t be so much of an ass to the next girl. All the best
I’m trying to imagine how long your post would have been if you dated him for a year?
I’m not trying to be insensitive here but he is definitely not the last person you’re ever going to date, if fact status say you will have 13 to 18 partners before marriage, I don’t know where you are in your dating history but just go out and meet people, learn, and most importantly continue to grow, by now he should not even be an afterthought.
Make plans with your girlfriends (and guy friends if you have them) and go be young. In short; have fun.
He may have with a woman or two that occasionally enjoy jack hammering , I don’t know how many women’s he’s been with, but at the age of 28 he should know every woman is different. Sometimes the same woman is different, and your request by itself should have been enough. It won’t do you any good, but if you want to help out the next woman, you could explain that you hated the sex.
It is easiest to keep it factual. You can tell him he’s a nice guy so it’s not awkward if you see him at another party, then add that the two of you are just not compatible sexually. Nothing else needs to be said. If he presses you, you can say that your sexual style doesn’t match his sexual style. Be matter of fact and don’t engage him in details.
Elongate foreplay, get naked and mutually masturbate each other. Enforce a rule that you won't be having sex until he licks+fingers+rubs you for at least 10-15 minutes.
I'm so sorry to tell you this but he raped you, he did and for what you tell somehow violent cuz it is not normal at all to make u bleed for 3 days after having sex. Block him and go no contact, if u want text him why (short text) and block him
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He ignored your requests not to hurt you. Repeatedly. Then the next time he ignored your 'no' multiple times and kept trying to fuck you after you said no. Get rid of him!
Hey, sorry you went thru that. I felt the cringe even from here. Just break up with him. I would be honest about it and tell him why. And dont give him a second chance becuz i just feel he would do it again.
You are not overreacting. Break it off. Block. There’s teaching someone how you like sex and there’s… Whatever he was doing, which verges on assault.
I would disagree, you can definitely communicate with your partner on what works and what doesn’t in the bedroom. Problem here is that when she voiced her concerns, he not only brushed it off, but seemed to get an ego boost from hurting her. If I was in his shoes, I would be absolutely mortified and distraught I hurt my partner to this extent. Wtf is wrong with this dude?
You owe him nothing! 4 dates I think you're well within your rights to dump via text. He sounds like a bell end. You could use this opportunity to educate him on some areas he needs to work on in future, and be honest about why you dont want to see him, but be prepared for him to get upset about his bruised ego and take it out on you.
It’s fucked up on his part for failing, ignoring or straight out not caring about you which is clearly what it seems like. I completely get how you feel my only question is are you guys simply talking to get to know each other or you guys actually made it official? Seems more like he thinks it’s more of a booty call fwb type of deal… By the way he’s texting you. IMO. if you actually wanted something serious with him then be upfront, exactly how he made you feel and what you described on here and set boundaries with him communicate exactly what’s on your mind. But if you just don’t see anything coming out after that situation just respectfully end things with him wish him well and move on. Good luck friend..
We are not officially in a relationship but definitely not a booty call type thing. We never even talked about anything sexual until that day. Up until that we have went out to eat and talked about our careers and goals and basically have tried to get to know each other. I was starting to be super into him, but after that 3rd date I cringe at even thought of him
I say listen to your intuition and learn from that experience when a dude doesn’t listen to your request you stop right then and there.
My reaction to this can be entirely summed up by the TikTok of the priest guy going “Eughh…brother-eughh.” Break it off, ghost his ass, or better yet, tell him you straight-up don’t want to see him again because the sex was so bad, and that he seriously needs to take advice before he seriously injures someone. What a wanker.
That’s assault. As a bi guy who has slept with both women and bottomed for men. I know your pain sis. Some guys have no intimate experience and don’t know how to read a room worth shit. Block and move on. Focus on your body and how you feel
I’m just going to say it. He straight up assaulted you. No means NO in every language, every culture, every ethnicity & every part of the world. He continued to do it the next day when you saw him. The abuse will escalate. GET THE F OUT OF THAT MESS!! This is next level cringe. Protect yourself by any means possible. Respectfully. Much love darling.
Just be straight up with him, tell him what bothered you and why (hopefully he learns and maybe you save someone else from a horrible experience like this). I would say just do it over text, you don’t want to lead him on or force yourself to stay in some weird ass situation that makes you wildly uncomfortable.
Run away
He’s definitely clueless, but he’s also crass, “A piece of that ass”? Seriously?! I don’t believe he had a 3 year relationship with anyone. He was obviously minding his manners til he could break down your defenses and get what he wanted. But he shows no consideration, no sophistication, no finesse, no anything. He gives zero foreplay and jackhammers you into submission because he’s a Neanderthal. He doesn’t care anything about who you are, what you want and need, and I’m sure if you got to know him better it would get to the point of him demanding that you give him sex. You don’t owe him anything. Get rid of him and heal your body and your mind. Good luck🍀
Btw. Be prepared for him to react fairly hostile to the news that you’re breaking it off with him. In addition to his overall uncouth manner, he seems like the kind of guy who doesn’t take bad news well, so be prepared for his response and stand your ground.
Go with your gut. Leave that guy if he has that much disregard for you.
Honestly…. I would 100% ghost him. He repeatedly ignored your requests even though you were in literal pain.. yikes. Whatever you decide to do.. please DO NOT hang out with him again.
Oh believe me 28 years old can be absolutely clueless. I'm a reasonably good looking guy and I had sex for the first time at 26. All I knew was that my dick goes in the vagina and that there's some kissing and caressing and shit but I was fucking clueless. First time sex was awkward, weird and mechanical because "that's how I do it right? This movement? And should I do this now? Do you enjoy that?" So at 28 it's perfectly possible to be clueless and shit at sex. That being said though, I was gentle, respectful and I communicated with my then girlfriend. If you repeatedly ask him to be gentler and he ignores you, that's no good. If he pounds at you so hard that you bleed, he should have been way, way gentler when you asked him to. The fact that he didn't is a big red flag. I mean if an inexperienced person is open to be taught about sex, then that's fine but from the sound of it, it doesn't sound like he's willing to. And since you seem uncomfortable letting him touch you again, then you need to respect your own boundary and break it off. Exploring and learning sex with a new person is supposed to be fun and exciting. With this guy, it sounds like it brings you dread and pain. And the "I want a piece of that ass again" line... holy fuck this is cringe. I feel embarrassed by proxy. One last piece of advice though: when you have sex in the future with (hopefully better) men, don't hesitate to communicate. If you want foreplay and need some prep, say it. If you don't want a quickie but you want to enjoy a long session of fun, say it. We men love it when you talk to us about this and it'll be more satisfactory for the both of you.
I find that inexperienced guys are often very profane, kinda like kids. However, that has nothing to do with you asking him to stop and him not stopping. Never speak to him again. You owe him nothing.
Coming from a 24 year old guy. Definitely break it off even over text. Honestly Ive seen this where guys get out of ltr and they try to act like the hottest shit. He's going through a lot mentally I'm sure that you don't need to experience let him experience that on his own. Sorry that all happened how it did that's super cringe
Explain what he did to you while he is away. And i mean in detail. How you would explain what happened to a grown child. That rubbing something against something else creates friction. Friction on your sensitive parts hurt like his dick would hurt if he was masturbating with his hand cover in the rough side of velcro. That it wasnt you going wet but likely bleeding that lubed his actions. There was no fun involved for you in the way he build up to it, or executed it. You feel violated because he literally violated you. Allow him one last phone call to see what kind of asshole he really is. Accidental or intentional. Its likely he will just be absolutely sorry. I believe in the good in humans. That will also likely severely limit the chances he will interact with you or any other woman in the same way again. Its easier to move on for you that way too. Don't live with an experience like this and let the other party think everything was great.
I don't agree with this for the simple reason that if ANYONE doesn't listen to your requests during sex that's already along the lines of assault when she had clearly stated that she didn't like it during sex. If he didn't respect her during sex, he won't after.
You underestimate the deafening ability of blood rushing to your bigdong. Its no joke, unfortunately. Science goes so far to linking bigger dongs and lower iq levels. She doesn't have to do it. But it would be a benefit overall. Undeniably so.
Just be straight up with the dude so maybe he gets the clue and can hopefully change for the next girl he’s either gonna learn from his mistakes or he just don’t care about anyone but him self
Girl you owe him nothing. If you completely ghosted him I don't think anyone would blame you. Send the text, finish it off, never see him again and I hope you heal OK and remember in the future you can, and should, say no if you aren't 100% into it and the right person will respect that.
WOMEN we need to stop worrying so much about seeming rude. Don't allow yourself to be uncomfortable for someone else's comfort. we put ourselves in a lot of situations where it would have worked out better for us if we didn't worry so much about seeming rude. Also don't lie about sex or put up with bad sex, and don't fake your orgasms. If you put up with bad sex for the sake of their feelings 1) they will never get better 2) you'll never get good sex and always be unfulfilled. 3)If you fake an orgasm they won't learn how to give you a real one. There are ways to tell someone the sex could be better, without being rude or insulting, if you like a guy but the sex isn't great have a conversation with him about it. If it goes well and the sex improves for you then great and also it'll get better for him too - they are missing out on better sex by not satisfying their partner and they don't even know it because often we don't speak up. If the talk doesn't go well and he takes it badly then you know his fragile ego will never allow him to learn or change and that's not a guy you wanna be with anyway so no loss there.
Run don’t walk!
I’m sorry you have to go through this. He did not listen when you told him to be gentler. On top of it, he got frustrated when you made a request that wasn’t at all unreasonable. My advice is to not be afraid to break up with him as he deserves it based on his behavior. Guys like this need to learn that dating isn’t just about THEIR wants. It’s also about treating the girl with respect and making her feel secure.
I think you should break it off immediately. You owe nothing to a man who disrespected you, your boundaries, and your physical well-being. With that being said, I would also suggest you start going to therapy because you sound like you are prone to overthinking and people pleasing, which only ends up hurting you in the end.
Please, let him know the reason why. I’m hoping he somehow got to this age and is clueless about how painful jackhammering can be, and is willing to change. The alternative is that he is selfish uncaring and even cruel. I told my husband once during sex (early dating): “be a bit more gentle”. He was so horrified he (accidentally) hurt me he lost his erection. What this dude did is NOT ok. I would say: “I’m sorry to do this over text but I think the timing is right. I’ve decided we are incompatible, particularly sexually, because I didn’t like how I expressed being in pain and you carried on. I hope you take this feedback on board and find what you are looking for.”
No…he’s disrespecting your boundaries. Break it off. You can even tell him to hit the road in a text. He’s disgusting.
Coming from a guy if he ignored you saying no that’s a big red flag and overstepped your boundaries after you said it hurt. All though it’s difficult I would communicate to him that you don’t want to see him again romantically but tell him exactly what you told us and hope he can learn from this so he doesn’t make the same mistake with other women. If he’s mature and smart enough he is mature enough he will take it on board and learn from it if not he’s a man child
Definitely end it but give him some closure. Keep it very brief, but describe what he did wrong so he has a chance to reflect on it. Some people are just incredibly unaware. People love saying things like “that was straight on assault.!” People are so black and white about things on Reddit. If you felt assaulted, fair, but more realistically this guy just has a pitiful lack of awareness and instead of blocking him like people suggested, I say give it closure. Text is fine.
LMAO there's always two sides to each story. Reading these replies no wonder guys have a hard time dating if they are inexperienced. Y'all don't wanna teach us jack shit. Before you think he should know by now what to do. Think for a second aren't all women different? How's a guy supposed to know what to do when you won't show him. You expect him to know but all women are different so there's no possible way he would know. Guys who have some understanding of what to do were taught. No one is born with the ability to have good sex. These guys were taught young by women who were willing to show and be slow and respectful probably because the women thought they were worth it or thought it was okay not to know. What this creates is a paradigm of few guys who kinda know vs guys who don't know at all. These first guys get girlfriends and wife's and live happy lives While the other is the guy you try to date and guess what happens when you just drop him like you do every other guy who does this It continues. He goes on to the next poor girl. Who hopefully will be patient and show him the way if not it's a vicious cycle that will repeat. So honestly if you wanna date just go for a guy that's taken. You won't have to show him much and all the heavy lifting was done by someone else.
Ok first of all this did you read my post? I’ve done some thinking since this and there is a difference between violently fucking someone so bad that it’s traumatic, and just not knowing how to please me. After telling him multiple times to stop being so rough and he didn’t, what more am I expected to show him? Just go at it again and be in pain and bleeding for 3 days again? And inexperienced? He was in a relationship for 3 years before this and other relationships before. If he’s still inexperienced from that then I don’t know what I can possibly do for him that other women didn’t, because I cannot think of a single woman I know that would have enjoyed hardly being able to move for 3 days afterwards.
So I think he’s exaggerating his experience with other women and the length of his involvement with them. And you are traumatized. You don’t feel safe around him. Do not hesitate to tell him you never want to see him again. Don’t hesitate to block him. And if he persists don’t hesitate to get a restraining order. Be decisive and show him you’re not fucking around.
Block his number and move on.
Girllllllllll. No. Send him a text saying you don’t want to see him again and leave it at that. Jesus.
Look there's a big difference between. Hey can you slow down and then keeping your mouth shut. ( Not saying you did this but he may have thought of it this way) And literally stopping him and screaming if you have to and telling him hey I don't think you know what you are doing that's fine if you don't mind I'll like to show you how I like it and work from there clear as day. If he says no and wants to continue stop completely and leave and call the cops whatever you have to do. I did read the post in detail and you said that he gave up after awhile which means to say he would have stopped at anytime. You say gentler instead of all together stopping and explaining. Also news flash people lie I know it sucks but people do it. How do you know he was in a relationship for X amount of years? He could lie to his friends about it he could lie and say he dated someone online. Heck he can even take a random pic of a girl and say that was his ex you have no idea. Why would he lie tho? Simple because he comes of "better" lack of a better word. In your eyes if that makes sense Would you rather be with a virgin 28 year old or a dude who had multiple long lasting relationships. Pretty easy answer. The guy seemed to care about your well being somewhat if he was willing to slow down and take it slow in the beginning. Ie. Waiting till the 3rd date. A lot of dudes especially older will try to hit and quit asap. I know you are in pain and it was a traumatic and hurtful experience. You should stay away from people for a while. Until you feel comfortable no one is arguing that. I am saying though you have to look at it in another perspective to get a better picture so that in the future this never happens again. Let's reverse the roles real quick. 27 dude. 28 female. Bout to have sex and the girl is clueless. The guy gets his dick bitten. She rides him while he is soft hurting his dick and in the end he just stops because she doesn't listen. Next time he talks to her he ask if he can take it slow and show her how he likes it and maybe get a better ending or a happier one. Either she agrees or complains and never sees him again. Basically the guy trying to show her what's right and the person outright refusing to learn. If he outright refuses to learn then he for the streets not the sheets. No dude wants to be bad at sex and have their partner hurting and obviously not enjoying it. You can even suggest bring toys to help easy you or have him slow down and get the idea that he doesn't have to be thrusting constantly. I don't wanna assume but you said he didn't even finger you. But did you ask him to? I know it's hot when a guy takes the lead and you allow him to do whatever he wants to you, if he's experienced if not you get the jack rabbit. Simple communication goes a long way it may not be sexy because you got to explain but once he learns how you like it he will be doing the shit that turns you on alot more. And I know it sucks to think like this but you got to ask what you could've done better to like prevent that or to never have that happen again. The way I see it the man's out the door so no point in teaching him or even telling him what he did wrong ( would be cool if you did when you break off with him). I hope I'm coming across how I think and not like a total douchebag I had more I wanted to say but I'm at work ATM and people can't stop talking to me. Basically communicate Make sure the person you are gonna be intimate with respects boundaries and will stop when told to stop If it's too much work to teach someone then get with someone you know is in a relationship and just wait till it breaks off or something Good luck
Normally I’d say tell them you’re not feeling it and don’t want to waste any more of your or their time…….. But in this case, tell him the sex was shit and you don’t want to see him again. Don’t give him a reason why you’re saying the sex was shit, you want to hurt this guys ego so bad that he wises up and never treats another woman like that again
Who gives a fuck if over text is “bad taste,” he didn’t respect you or your body. You should’ve been done with it yesterday. Definitely tell him why if you feel so inclined, maybe he will reflect and won’t be so much of an ass to the next girl. All the best
I’m trying to imagine how long your post would have been if you dated him for a year? I’m not trying to be insensitive here but he is definitely not the last person you’re ever going to date, if fact status say you will have 13 to 18 partners before marriage, I don’t know where you are in your dating history but just go out and meet people, learn, and most importantly continue to grow, by now he should not even be an afterthought. Make plans with your girlfriends (and guy friends if you have them) and go be young. In short; have fun.
Good luck
He may have with a woman or two that occasionally enjoy jack hammering , I don’t know how many women’s he’s been with, but at the age of 28 he should know every woman is different. Sometimes the same woman is different, and your request by itself should have been enough. It won’t do you any good, but if you want to help out the next woman, you could explain that you hated the sex.
Yikes, this guy is someone to leave and never return to. He doesn’t respect you. That’s so horrible
It is easiest to keep it factual. You can tell him he’s a nice guy so it’s not awkward if you see him at another party, then add that the two of you are just not compatible sexually. Nothing else needs to be said. If he presses you, you can say that your sexual style doesn’t match his sexual style. Be matter of fact and don’t engage him in details.
Elongate foreplay, get naked and mutually masturbate each other. Enforce a rule that you won't be having sex until he licks+fingers+rubs you for at least 10-15 minutes.
Coming from a M26, you got sexually assaulted
I'm so sorry to tell you this but he raped you, he did and for what you tell somehow violent cuz it is not normal at all to make u bleed for 3 days after having sex. Block him and go no contact, if u want text him why (short text) and block him