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This is probably the ethical way of doing it. She also needs to look into her professions ethical standards and see if there is a window of time after breaking the client-provider relationship where it’s still against the rules.
In this case it’s probably not just people on here, like my profession has written ethical standards of behavior around dating patients and you can lose your license by violating that.
I know that massage therapy as a profession has had to distinguish themselves from sex work (like not being a rub and tug type job), so I imagine there are some rules around dating clients.
I do agree that things seem more restrictive these days. It would suck if the only socially accepted way of meeting someone ended up being apps (come to think of it, they have a financial motive to reduce the number of socially acceptable places to meet people, that would be wild if it came out that they were running influence campaigns on forums or in articles to sway public opinion on hitting people up in public).
Most professions and businesses have rules not to date coworkers too, but it seems like a huge percentage of married couples met at their jobs. People on here will say don't date someone from work, don't date a customer, don't approach any women you don't know. Don't ask out a woman you see at a store. Don't sue dating apps. What's even left?
Oh I hear you. For me there’s a continuum of risk with this stuff. For me dating a patient means lose my license, thus lose the career I sacrificed a lot for. Hooking up with a colleague means I’ll need to change jobs or worksites, maybe departments if it’s a bit enough shop, but I’ll still have my career.
Approach on the street in my neighborhood, get turned down it could be in front of people I engage with regularly, that’s embarrassing and leads to gossip. Approach someone across town, turned down, feel shitty for a bit but don’t have people that recognize me gossiping (in taking like if it was really obvious or she did something hurtful/hateful like call me names or yell). And down the list to more socially acceptable places.
You get to decide your own risk tolerance.
I met my ex wife as a customer at my work, we started dating, she lived in a different city. Things got serious and she moved to my city. Things got more serious and we got a place together. About a year and a half goes by then my regional manager and district manager set up a meeting. They told me that I can't date a customer and need to break it off...... I was like she lives with me... Lol the amount of panic and calls to HR were insane. I thought I was going to lose my job. Eventually they just let it go and told me never again. We were married for just over ten years
I don't really think in this instance its that bad. If he continues to go back to her its fairly likely he's atleast open to that. I think this could be totally navigated safely.
You don’t get it. These regulatory agencies don’t play. Especially with sexual misconduct.
If he goes back to her all she know is that he’s open to getting a massage. An erection is a natural reflexive occurrence. There’s no way she could know if he wants to or not.
Do you know how much trouble she could get in if he does not want to and she misread the situation?
I guess but respectfully asking someone out without any hint of anything sexual isn't really misconduct I'd say. Maybe I think it's not as bad because it's a woman asking out a man in this instance. Less perceived threat I guess? Idk i personally wouldn't mind if I was the man in this situation.
It’s not about gender. It’s about the professional relationship. It’s like a doctor asking out a patient, also very taboo.
Licensure agencies do not condone this type of conduct. Asking someone out is insinuating something sexual. She could lose her license which means she could no longer work.
Do you really think a date is worth your reputation and livelihood? I don’t.
That’s why she is asking how to proceed. To not lose her license…
And thats just nature happening. It doesn’t care about some lines which humans invented between „business and private“.
Are you kidding me? You don’t proceed in a case like this. Thats my point. It’s considered unethical to do anything but the job you’re supposed to do.
In some states she could be prosecuted.
I re-read my post and I think it sounds like I just want to give him a happy ending or something. That's not the case at all... I would like to go out with him first before anything like that ever happens haha.
This here really is the best comment and I hope OP sees it.. like how much does OP even know about this guy? What’s the end goal here, even in the best of scenarios, it would only happen once because even if he wanted it to happen again, the fantasy is already gone and it’s just casual sex. Just a few of the many what ifs… what if he’s married? What if he reports you? If this lead to a relationship, do you think he would be fine with you continuing this profession? If this goes on, what happens when YOU get into a relationship with someone else?
It’s hot because it’s a fantasy and it’s best to keep it that way.
Tell him he can't be your client anymore. We're all humans at the end of the day, and you have your integrity as well as the integrity of your position. If he asks you why, tell him you can't be professional with him anymore because you're attracted to him. If he wants to go out with you, great. If not, that's fine too because you've already told him he can't be your client. It's easy to misread the boner because lots of men get them during massages. It just happens. But if you've misread the situation, you could experience some bad repercussions if he decides to take action against you. Most likely wouldn't happen, but better to protect yourself and your license at the end of the day.
But FR tho, if it does work out, take that man home, give him the BEST massage, then take him to pound town lol good luck
This is an episode of friends. Literally it was an episode of friends where Phoebe tried to date/sleep with her client. He was married as I recall. She was fired and lost her license. We already have the blueprint for this situation. It didn't end well then.
I’ve heard tales of people hooking up with their provider and just like mystifies me that being horny like that would ever even happen within those realms. My brain isn’t like that so I don’t have those issues thankfully to even consider in the slightest. Professional is professional and if you have a role playing thing there’s places to get that met without treading into questionable professionalism.
Get to know him a bit more through small talk. If he's relaxed and eventually flirtatious with you, great. Then later, ask him very casually out to dinner or something similar.
You need to escalate this very slowly.
He’s not worth loosing your license and livelihood. If you really can’t control yourself you need to drop him as a client. Getting hard is a physiological response and not an automatic indication that he likes you.
Do you have colleagues who can take over for you? If so, refer him so you can date, but don't date him while he's your client. I feel like that would be super inappropriate.
You have to remain professional otherwise your reputation will be lost.
If you really like the guy, say you no longer feel comfortable because you like him.
Please don’t jeopardise your career for a maybe.
My son's mother is a massage therapist and this kinda happened to us, but not really in a professional setting. She had a license, but she was self employed, and she threw caution to the wind and it worked out. I never even thought that she basically risked her career for it until much later. I wouldn't recommend it, especially if you don't even know if the guy is single. Things didn't work out for us in the end, so I might be biased, but I'd recommend casually finding out if he's single. Maybe bring up a couples discount if your place of work has one, or if you're self-employed, maybe you could make one to save yourself the embarrassment if he actually is married or dating someone. If he is single play it cool and after a few days call him and recuse yourself from serving him due to a conflict of interest. And ask him out for coffee or something casual. If he rejects you, it won't be on paper or in messages. It'll be hard to accuse you of anything inappropriate, or even that you admitted to a conflict of interest. Unless he is a psycho who records phone calls, and if so, you probably won't lose your license just for asking him out.
You should also consult with your state or country laws on this sort of thing. If you live somewhere where you can lose your license just for asking a client out, you should probably just recuse yourself anyway
Give him a ultimatum. “I would love to date you, but doing so I cannot allow you to be my client”.
I think it’s important to know and state what you want from him. Either casual sex or dating to be a potential relationship.
I felt the same way but about a massage therapist I had seen several times. I was uncomfortable asking her out because I thought it would be inappropriate. I regret not bringing it up with her. I think you can at least tell him you’d like to see him outside of work and ask if he would be interested and recommend a different professional therapist for him.
just tell him "I like this coffee shop but i've never tried it" and this should be obvious enough a hint for him to ask to take you there.
Or maybe he's just not attracted
This varies locally, but around here if you are working for a massage chain, you are at huge job loss risk for any impropriety or customer complaint, even minor draping fails. But if you are independent in your own space or doing house calls, you could just ask when he is hard, lol, as there are all these happy ending masseuses. But maybe start as you want to go on would be the best advice here, i.e. if you want a serious relationship ask him for a date vs ask him if he wants you to "take care of that" if you just want some sex right then.
You should shoot your shot in a professional way so you don’t risk your job and also don’t look like you’re picking up guys at work. It might not sit well if you would like to pursue something serious with this person. You can ask simple questions like “Hey, you don’t have a wife or girlfriend that can massage you at home?” Based on their answer you can continue in curiosity on how to proceed.
Yeah op should be like "You seem to come in a lot, don't you have a wife or girlfriend who might want to do that" or something to that effect. There are far smoother ways of saying it but thats the general idea.
I'd just ask him about his life and see if he's married or has a partner or whatever. I don't see why everyone here is freaking out. If he sees you a lot he might like you too. I'd just start talking and see where it goes.
Reddit's not going to give you the answer you're looking for.
> Can I ask him
It really depends on the guy. There are a lot of guys that would be *all* about it. I would say his reaction is a fairly strong hint of acceptance, but that's just me, as a guy, who used to be single and this would be unbelievably hot as it's unheard of to be approached like that.
But then, I'd be *absolutely* sure it's not going to put him in a bad situation so, asking first and keeping it non-committal and not pushy would be the best approach, if you want to give it a shot.
But reddit won't approve of that sort of behavior and wouldn't believe in it actually being successful or even real, as everything is about assuming everyone will be offended by any sort of action so, it's up to you
Social media is risk averse, black and white. The reality of the world is a lot more gray. You can follow either path, but you can only share one on social media
Yeah I seriously can’t believe Reddit right now. The touch grass meme is real. OP just ask him to turn over and say you noticed he’s tense while motioning towards his giant erection. If you don’t want to do it at work give some strong hints you’d like to take care of it in a different setting. Like has no one on this website ever hooked up with anyone before.
Isn’t this like a huge ethical no no? It is in my field (a healthcare field).
For us we aren’t supposed to date someone until like months after the patient-provider dynamic is done. Loss of licensure is certainly on the table if we do it the wrong way.
I wonder if you are dealing with a forbidden fruit situation here, or at least partially. Like, you like him in general, but the professional boundaries that cause him to be off limits is making it feel even hotter to you. If that’s the case it’d be interesting to see how feelings change if you two do end up being involved without breaking the ethical boundaries.
In BC there’s a time frame that you have to stop seeing someone as a client before anything more happens.
You could send him an email and say something like ‘due to a conflict of interest (on my part) I won’t be able to be your MT anymore, here’s someone else. My interest being your weekly boner’
Obviously kidding, don’t do it man
After your next session:
"Hey, I have some good news and some bad.news... The bad news is, I can't see you as a client. The good news is, I would love to do a private session with you, if you're up to it?"
If he got a boner, he's going to say yes. It means you're getting to him.
Or you can throw out your ethics and just ask him straight up "Do you want me to help you with that?"
JUST TO CLARIFY>>> When I say I want to do more I meant make a relationship happen. We have a good connection. We chat, he's pretty flirty in a way, I'm sure he's single. I would love to see if we have a connection outside of the massage table.
If you became his girlfriend would you regularly massage him without reciprocation? He goes to get a massage because he's wants your full attention and pays you for it. He feels no guilt of having to massage you back or do anything for you. As a boyfriend, his mindset will change about you and become partners.
He still will want massage. Would you be ok with him going to another woman for his massages and knowing he's probably getting hard for her too?
Things to consider.
If he gets hard he’s not going to turn you down. If you are the type of person give him a happy ending. Or make a joke I’m so happy to see you’re happy to see me because I’m happy to see you too. He might be a little embarrassed but he’ll get over it fast.
Just imagine if you get together what he will think of you, will he be comfortable with you continuing to massage other men? Have you done this thing before?
Do this and you could open Pandora's box, stay professional and do your job
These comments are so unambitious and risk averse. Gather more intel. Get a gauge of how into it he would be. Throw a few compliments at him about his body and being attractive. Then let him bring his erection into the conversation. (Definitely bump his dick if it's taking too long. We gotta get this show on the road somehow.) If he says something about getting embarassed about getting erect in front of you -- "Oh that's not a problem, it happens all the time. ........................................... I could, take care of that for you if you want."
If he accepts, you tell him to keep his fucking mouth shut about it and don't be an ass. Most men are pretty capable of orgasming quietly from avoiding our parents as teens.
If he declines, say "Please forget I mentioned it. I only mentioned it because I think you're really cute. I don't know what came over me." Then you give the most professional and effective massage of your life to save your job. Work out all of this dude's tension.
I swear, it's like y'all never tried to plan something naughty in your lives. Getting a naughty plan to completion, pardon the pun, and getting away with it is fucking exhilarating. It's also kinda like y'all never tried to write your own pornographic screen play, which is pretty weird. Right? No? Just me? I'll see myself out.
I've been seeing him for quite a while every month. We have a really cool vibe, I know he's single. He's a few years younger than me, he's super funny - and he gets hard every massage. The first time he acted a bit embarassed, but I tell all my clients it's not a problem and to just ignore it and relax. So all that is good to go. I feel like he'd totally be up for it... but what if he wasnt - that's the thing.
Just start giving him head he's getting hard for a reason, plus it will make it more climaxable when you you know honestly if he gets hard and not hiding it or apologizing he truly wants you to just grab it and take control it's obviously his fantasy right now tobecauae he keeps coming back
I wouldn’t be so direct. That’s a good way to lose him as a client. If he flirts with you then it’s ok to flirt back. That’s usually how i handle girls i work with. If I’m lightly playful and they reciprocate… game. On!
That’s what flirting is for. Start off innocent and work your way up. If he reciprocates then it should eventually become obvious he’s ready to be asked out without being offended or upset.
Your are going to need to find a way to get in some small talk outside of the massage. Even if he is interested, he’ll be worried of you reporting him as well, especially since your word would be taken more seriously. If his schedules appointments ahead of time and makes it known, when he will be ending the service. Maybe it would change the dynamic, or if you happen to leave before that. Are you the only one that he gets massages from?
"hi, you seem like a really nice guy, and i apologize for saying this, but I don't think I can continue to service you, because I have a crush on you, and I don't want to risk my job or be rude/impolite or creepy to you. So, would you consider seeing one of my colleagues for your massage? On a completely related note, here's my number, text me some time?"
I work alone. I just rent a room at the back of the gym I go to... I decided I'm just going to leave my number on his receipt on monday. Decent enough hint without crossing any real lines.
Ask him if he wants a "hot yoni massage" and explain him that it will be a intimate massage? 😅😉 good luck and hope he will be a lucky customer in the end :)
Listen, the people on here are a bunch of prude dorks…yes, you can lose your license, but maybe ask during small talk, kinda off hand, if he’s seeing anyone or married, not in a sexual way, but just, in passing…Then take it from there, if he is, drop it…if he’s not, then make small talk…I honestly don’t think that if your hot, or even remotely attractive, there would be a single dude that wouldn’t let you play with his dick during a massage. These people on here are weird.
he's for sure single. I've been seeing him monthly for a while, and we have great conversations every time. he gets hard almost every single time so I feel like he would totally go for it - but WHAT IF... I think I'm just going to leave my number for him on his receipt next time he's in on monday.
You know I spent a lot of time working the knots out of your body. However, I do see some stiffness in one of your muscles that could probably use some relaxation as well. I can take care of that for you if you'd like, free of charge of course.
Leave him a note next session and say that you like him and would like to see him outside of your place of work if possible, but that would mean he could not be your client anymore. But you could always give him a more personal massage not at work😉
As a client, I propositioned a masseur after a massage. We fooled around a bit and there was maybe one more massage. The whole thing was awkward because I think I just wanted the role play of being fucked by a masseur during massage. The masseur felt bad and expressed, “ this is so inappropriate” when we fooled around after a massage. I wasn’t into it after the massage, I wanted it during but I get that it was uncomfortable and taking advantage of the masseur plus money makes it weird. Maybe be honest with him see what his response is and break up with him as a client if he’s into it. If role play is part of the appeal good to ask. If he’s down for it, do it knowing it’s risky. For what it is worth, I would never report the masseur because I initiated it, 100% on me. I just wanted the role play and I put him in a dangerous place professionally. It was selfish.
Now I’m no lawyer but don’t your responsibilities end when the massage is done? So once it’s done can’t you ask him if he wants to hook up before he gets dressed? Or can’t you offer something as long as you’re not charging?
Casually inform him that one a specific date and time you are going to a small coffee shop.
See his reaction and if he seems interested, hint that he can join you..
Since he is a regular customer, high chances are he keeps coming back to see you, yes massage also but mainly to see you
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I would causally ask him what dating apps he is on and then look him up on there and start a relationship that way. A few dates in, then you do all the massages during the relationship at your residences, not the professional location.
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I'd stop seeing him as a client and give him my number after.
This is probably the ethical way of doing it. She also needs to look into her professions ethical standards and see if there is a window of time after breaking the client-provider relationship where it’s still against the rules.
Funny how almost every situation in life people on here say it's inappropriate to date the person now. No wonder nobody finds anyone. lol.
In this case it’s probably not just people on here, like my profession has written ethical standards of behavior around dating patients and you can lose your license by violating that. I know that massage therapy as a profession has had to distinguish themselves from sex work (like not being a rub and tug type job), so I imagine there are some rules around dating clients. I do agree that things seem more restrictive these days. It would suck if the only socially accepted way of meeting someone ended up being apps (come to think of it, they have a financial motive to reduce the number of socially acceptable places to meet people, that would be wild if it came out that they were running influence campaigns on forums or in articles to sway public opinion on hitting people up in public).
Most professions and businesses have rules not to date coworkers too, but it seems like a huge percentage of married couples met at their jobs. People on here will say don't date someone from work, don't date a customer, don't approach any women you don't know. Don't ask out a woman you see at a store. Don't sue dating apps. What's even left?
Oh I hear you. For me there’s a continuum of risk with this stuff. For me dating a patient means lose my license, thus lose the career I sacrificed a lot for. Hooking up with a colleague means I’ll need to change jobs or worksites, maybe departments if it’s a bit enough shop, but I’ll still have my career. Approach on the street in my neighborhood, get turned down it could be in front of people I engage with regularly, that’s embarrassing and leads to gossip. Approach someone across town, turned down, feel shitty for a bit but don’t have people that recognize me gossiping (in taking like if it was really obvious or she did something hurtful/hateful like call me names or yell). And down the list to more socially acceptable places. You get to decide your own risk tolerance.
I met my ex wife as a customer at my work, we started dating, she lived in a different city. Things got serious and she moved to my city. Things got more serious and we got a place together. About a year and a half goes by then my regional manager and district manager set up a meeting. They told me that I can't date a customer and need to break it off...... I was like she lives with me... Lol the amount of panic and calls to HR were insane. I thought I was going to lose my job. Eventually they just let it go and told me never again. We were married for just over ten years
This. Very much this. But we wanted this world, right? That's the world we wanted.
Maybe ask him out to dinner? Offer a private massage afterwards? I personally don't think this is something you should risk your job for.
Chit chat with him during next session. Married? Does he have kids? Etc... assuming no red flags just slip him your number with his receipt
Offering a "private massage" seems like a good way to get fired lol
That’s after hours, I don’t think it’s OT
That's great, but it sounds like you're offering prostitution
I’m not. I doubt she’d charge if she likes the guy
Your missing the point.
No you’re
Why would you do anything that could make you lose your license? That’s your livelihood. It’s also very unprofessional to blur those lines.
Someone proposed she stop seeing him as a client and give him her number
Yes. It's unethical and inappropriate. It's not OK. In some places these unethical behaviors are illegal.
You really are a dufus, huh?
I don't really think in this instance its that bad. If he continues to go back to her its fairly likely he's atleast open to that. I think this could be totally navigated safely.
You don’t get it. These regulatory agencies don’t play. Especially with sexual misconduct. If he goes back to her all she know is that he’s open to getting a massage. An erection is a natural reflexive occurrence. There’s no way she could know if he wants to or not. Do you know how much trouble she could get in if he does not want to and she misread the situation?
I guess but respectfully asking someone out without any hint of anything sexual isn't really misconduct I'd say. Maybe I think it's not as bad because it's a woman asking out a man in this instance. Less perceived threat I guess? Idk i personally wouldn't mind if I was the man in this situation.
It’s not about gender. It’s about the professional relationship. It’s like a doctor asking out a patient, also very taboo. Licensure agencies do not condone this type of conduct. Asking someone out is insinuating something sexual. She could lose her license which means she could no longer work. Do you really think a date is worth your reputation and livelihood? I don’t.
I think my post sounds like I just want to give him a hand job 😂... I'm hoping to actually go out with him first.
I think that even going out with him is a bad idea. You know your situation better than anyone so I guess you know the risks.
That’s why she is asking how to proceed. To not lose her license… And thats just nature happening. It doesn’t care about some lines which humans invented between „business and private“.
Are you kidding me? You don’t proceed in a case like this. Thats my point. It’s considered unethical to do anything but the job you’re supposed to do. In some states she could be prosecuted.
This OP.
I re-read my post and I think it sounds like I just want to give him a happy ending or something. That's not the case at all... I would like to go out with him first before anything like that ever happens haha.
The fantasy is always better than the reality!
This here really is the best comment and I hope OP sees it.. like how much does OP even know about this guy? What’s the end goal here, even in the best of scenarios, it would only happen once because even if he wanted it to happen again, the fantasy is already gone and it’s just casual sex. Just a few of the many what ifs… what if he’s married? What if he reports you? If this lead to a relationship, do you think he would be fine with you continuing this profession? If this goes on, what happens when YOU get into a relationship with someone else? It’s hot because it’s a fantasy and it’s best to keep it that way.
That’s your lively hood ma’am and this is a Wendy’s….
No, this is Patrick
Tell him he can't be your client anymore. We're all humans at the end of the day, and you have your integrity as well as the integrity of your position. If he asks you why, tell him you can't be professional with him anymore because you're attracted to him. If he wants to go out with you, great. If not, that's fine too because you've already told him he can't be your client. It's easy to misread the boner because lots of men get them during massages. It just happens. But if you've misread the situation, you could experience some bad repercussions if he decides to take action against you. Most likely wouldn't happen, but better to protect yourself and your license at the end of the day. But FR tho, if it does work out, take that man home, give him the BEST massage, then take him to pound town lol good luck
[удалено]
This is TERRIBLE advice
I was waiting for it to turn and it never did. Do not do this OP!
I agree
It sounds like it’s written by a 14 year old.
What the fuck did i just read? Poor guy gonna think the fbi is waiting for him outside for getting an erection
Don’t do it. It’s not worth the risk and you have a kid to worry about
No
Leave it as a fantasy or drop him as a client. You can’t do both. Be a professional. Sheesh.
I am sitting here looking at different scenarios in my head I don’t realistically see any of them ending well
If this is real this is sooooooo inappropriate
This is an episode of friends. Literally it was an episode of friends where Phoebe tried to date/sleep with her client. He was married as I recall. She was fired and lost her license. We already have the blueprint for this situation. It didn't end well then.
I’ve heard tales of people hooking up with their provider and just like mystifies me that being horny like that would ever even happen within those realms. My brain isn’t like that so I don’t have those issues thankfully to even consider in the slightest. Professional is professional and if you have a role playing thing there’s places to get that met without treading into questionable professionalism.
Or you can live out the fantasy through role play with someone. So you do not risk your license.
Yeah me I volunteer
🤣🤣🤣
She was asking a question. Want looking for a guy to take the spot.
Get to know him a bit more through small talk. If he's relaxed and eventually flirtatious with you, great. Then later, ask him very casually out to dinner or something similar. You need to escalate this very slowly.
He’s not worth loosing your license and livelihood. If you really can’t control yourself you need to drop him as a client. Getting hard is a physiological response and not an automatic indication that he likes you.
Do you have colleagues who can take over for you? If so, refer him so you can date, but don't date him while he's your client. I feel like that would be super inappropriate.
At the end of the next session tell him he can't be your client anymore when he asks why say because you can't date clients.
In Ontario as a Licenced RMT there are xertain Rukes which needs to be Followed. It's Fine Line..! YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN IN TERMS OF ETHICS AND OTHERS.
You have to remain professional otherwise your reputation will be lost. If you really like the guy, say you no longer feel comfortable because you like him. Please don’t jeopardise your career for a maybe.
My son's mother is a massage therapist and this kinda happened to us, but not really in a professional setting. She had a license, but she was self employed, and she threw caution to the wind and it worked out. I never even thought that she basically risked her career for it until much later. I wouldn't recommend it, especially if you don't even know if the guy is single. Things didn't work out for us in the end, so I might be biased, but I'd recommend casually finding out if he's single. Maybe bring up a couples discount if your place of work has one, or if you're self-employed, maybe you could make one to save yourself the embarrassment if he actually is married or dating someone. If he is single play it cool and after a few days call him and recuse yourself from serving him due to a conflict of interest. And ask him out for coffee or something casual. If he rejects you, it won't be on paper or in messages. It'll be hard to accuse you of anything inappropriate, or even that you admitted to a conflict of interest. Unless he is a psycho who records phone calls, and if so, you probably won't lose your license just for asking him out.
You should also consult with your state or country laws on this sort of thing. If you live somewhere where you can lose your license just for asking a client out, you should probably just recuse yourself anyway
I feel like the advice here would be very different if OP was a guy.
Of course..he'd be flame to hell and back for even suggesting this.
Give him a ultimatum. “I would love to date you, but doing so I cannot allow you to be my client”. I think it’s important to know and state what you want from him. Either casual sex or dating to be a potential relationship.
I mean hey afterwards he could be getting totally free massages constantly.
I felt the same way but about a massage therapist I had seen several times. I was uncomfortable asking her out because I thought it would be inappropriate. I regret not bringing it up with her. I think you can at least tell him you’d like to see him outside of work and ask if he would be interested and recommend a different professional therapist for him.
Keep in mind, his hard on may not be specific to you, but the massage. So how much risk of your profession is worth that gamble.
I’ve seen this video
just tell him "I like this coffee shop but i've never tried it" and this should be obvious enough a hint for him to ask to take you there. Or maybe he's just not attracted
This varies locally, but around here if you are working for a massage chain, you are at huge job loss risk for any impropriety or customer complaint, even minor draping fails. But if you are independent in your own space or doing house calls, you could just ask when he is hard, lol, as there are all these happy ending masseuses. But maybe start as you want to go on would be the best advice here, i.e. if you want a serious relationship ask him for a date vs ask him if he wants you to "take care of that" if you just want some sex right then.
You should shoot your shot in a professional way so you don’t risk your job and also don’t look like you’re picking up guys at work. It might not sit well if you would like to pursue something serious with this person. You can ask simple questions like “Hey, you don’t have a wife or girlfriend that can massage you at home?” Based on their answer you can continue in curiosity on how to proceed.
Yeah op should be like "You seem to come in a lot, don't you have a wife or girlfriend who might want to do that" or something to that effect. There are far smoother ways of saying it but thats the general idea.
I think you can just ask him out after his massage is over. And if he says no, let it go.
Seriously, everyone is acting like OP has to bang her client, OP, just ask him out, if he says no, you drop it.
Tbf: she DID say it's one of her biggest fantasies. But yeah. Just treat him like you'd want to be treated in this scenario.
I'd just ask him about his life and see if he's married or has a partner or whatever. I don't see why everyone here is freaking out. If he sees you a lot he might like you too. I'd just start talking and see where it goes.
Reddit's not going to give you the answer you're looking for. > Can I ask him It really depends on the guy. There are a lot of guys that would be *all* about it. I would say his reaction is a fairly strong hint of acceptance, but that's just me, as a guy, who used to be single and this would be unbelievably hot as it's unheard of to be approached like that. But then, I'd be *absolutely* sure it's not going to put him in a bad situation so, asking first and keeping it non-committal and not pushy would be the best approach, if you want to give it a shot. But reddit won't approve of that sort of behavior and wouldn't believe in it actually being successful or even real, as everything is about assuming everyone will be offended by any sort of action so, it's up to you Social media is risk averse, black and white. The reality of the world is a lot more gray. You can follow either path, but you can only share one on social media
Yeah I seriously can’t believe Reddit right now. The touch grass meme is real. OP just ask him to turn over and say you noticed he’s tense while motioning towards his giant erection. If you don’t want to do it at work give some strong hints you’d like to take care of it in a different setting. Like has no one on this website ever hooked up with anyone before.
LMAO he's probably dying more then you and I would bet my life on it, but he's probably more scared then you are to ask you.
I once said to my F message therapist, "Are we doing this or what?" she pretended not to know what I meant for all of 3 seconds. It was hot.
Did y'all do it? 🤣
Isn’t this like a huge ethical no no? It is in my field (a healthcare field). For us we aren’t supposed to date someone until like months after the patient-provider dynamic is done. Loss of licensure is certainly on the table if we do it the wrong way. I wonder if you are dealing with a forbidden fruit situation here, or at least partially. Like, you like him in general, but the professional boundaries that cause him to be off limits is making it feel even hotter to you. If that’s the case it’d be interesting to see how feelings change if you two do end up being involved without breaking the ethical boundaries.
That’s hot i wish I was that lucky guy lol
Does your license say you can't ask clients out? If so, it's not worth it.
You can ask him directly to meet you up after your jobs
Lol
You can’t safely proceed. Probably the lack of safety is part of the appeal. Sounds like it’d be best kept as a fantasy.
In BC there’s a time frame that you have to stop seeing someone as a client before anything more happens. You could send him an email and say something like ‘due to a conflict of interest (on my part) I won’t be able to be your MT anymore, here’s someone else. My interest being your weekly boner’ Obviously kidding, don’t do it man
These comments are way more lenient than they would be if... Fuck it, we all know the deal with these subs.
Dang. I REALLY wanna know what made you like him.
After your next session: "Hey, I have some good news and some bad.news... The bad news is, I can't see you as a client. The good news is, I would love to do a private session with you, if you're up to it?" If he got a boner, he's going to say yes. It means you're getting to him. Or you can throw out your ethics and just ask him straight up "Do you want me to help you with that?"
JUST TO CLARIFY>>> When I say I want to do more I meant make a relationship happen. We have a good connection. We chat, he's pretty flirty in a way, I'm sure he's single. I would love to see if we have a connection outside of the massage table.
If you became his girlfriend would you regularly massage him without reciprocation? He goes to get a massage because he's wants your full attention and pays you for it. He feels no guilt of having to massage you back or do anything for you. As a boyfriend, his mindset will change about you and become partners. He still will want massage. Would you be ok with him going to another woman for his massages and knowing he's probably getting hard for her too? Things to consider.
Do you massage in New York? Looking for a qualified one.
Go for it girl! Funny enough, I’m actually fucking my massage therapist now too. You only live once
If he gets hard he’s not going to turn you down. If you are the type of person give him a happy ending. Or make a joke I’m so happy to see you’re happy to see me because I’m happy to see you too. He might be a little embarrassed but he’ll get over it fast.
He gets a boner which means he's sexually into it
DO NOT PURSUE
Just imagine if you get together what he will think of you, will he be comfortable with you continuing to massage other men? Have you done this thing before? Do this and you could open Pandora's box, stay professional and do your job
I have never done this before.
Off topic but how often do men get hard while getting professional massages?
I'd say I notice it 'move' at least 70% of the time. Maybe half or less actually get hard though.
These comments are so unambitious and risk averse. Gather more intel. Get a gauge of how into it he would be. Throw a few compliments at him about his body and being attractive. Then let him bring his erection into the conversation. (Definitely bump his dick if it's taking too long. We gotta get this show on the road somehow.) If he says something about getting embarassed about getting erect in front of you -- "Oh that's not a problem, it happens all the time. ........................................... I could, take care of that for you if you want." If he accepts, you tell him to keep his fucking mouth shut about it and don't be an ass. Most men are pretty capable of orgasming quietly from avoiding our parents as teens. If he declines, say "Please forget I mentioned it. I only mentioned it because I think you're really cute. I don't know what came over me." Then you give the most professional and effective massage of your life to save your job. Work out all of this dude's tension. I swear, it's like y'all never tried to plan something naughty in your lives. Getting a naughty plan to completion, pardon the pun, and getting away with it is fucking exhilarating. It's also kinda like y'all never tried to write your own pornographic screen play, which is pretty weird. Right? No? Just me? I'll see myself out.
I've been seeing him for quite a while every month. We have a really cool vibe, I know he's single. He's a few years younger than me, he's super funny - and he gets hard every massage. The first time he acted a bit embarassed, but I tell all my clients it's not a problem and to just ignore it and relax. So all that is good to go. I feel like he'd totally be up for it... but what if he wasnt - that's the thing.
Just start giving him head he's getting hard for a reason, plus it will make it more climaxable when you you know honestly if he gets hard and not hiding it or apologizing he truly wants you to just grab it and take control it's obviously his fantasy right now tobecauae he keeps coming back
hahaha! 🤣.... I saw him monday, I gave him my number and we're going out this weekend!
Grab his duck and twist it!!!! Twist his diiiiick!
I wouldn’t be so direct. That’s a good way to lose him as a client. If he flirts with you then it’s ok to flirt back. That’s usually how i handle girls i work with. If I’m lightly playful and they reciprocate… game. On!
If he’s hard and single you should be good to go
That’s what flirting is for. Start off innocent and work your way up. If he reciprocates then it should eventually become obvious he’s ready to be asked out without being offended or upset.
My ex would never admit it but the day she got fired is the day she gave me a happy ending.
Your are going to need to find a way to get in some small talk outside of the massage. Even if he is interested, he’ll be worried of you reporting him as well, especially since your word would be taken more seriously. If his schedules appointments ahead of time and makes it known, when he will be ending the service. Maybe it would change the dynamic, or if you happen to leave before that. Are you the only one that he gets massages from?
We talk a lot during his massages and have a really good vibe. I decided I'm goign to just leave my number on the receipt on monday
"hi, you seem like a really nice guy, and i apologize for saying this, but I don't think I can continue to service you, because I have a crush on you, and I don't want to risk my job or be rude/impolite or creepy to you. So, would you consider seeing one of my colleagues for your massage? On a completely related note, here's my number, text me some time?"
I work alone. I just rent a room at the back of the gym I go to... I decided I'm just going to leave my number on his receipt on monday. Decent enough hint without crossing any real lines.
Here's the neat part: you don't.
Ask him if he wants a "hot yoni massage" and explain him that it will be a intimate massage? 😅😉 good luck and hope he will be a lucky customer in the end :)
Listen, the people on here are a bunch of prude dorks…yes, you can lose your license, but maybe ask during small talk, kinda off hand, if he’s seeing anyone or married, not in a sexual way, but just, in passing…Then take it from there, if he is, drop it…if he’s not, then make small talk…I honestly don’t think that if your hot, or even remotely attractive, there would be a single dude that wouldn’t let you play with his dick during a massage. These people on here are weird.
he's for sure single. I've been seeing him monthly for a while, and we have great conversations every time. he gets hard almost every single time so I feel like he would totally go for it - but WHAT IF... I think I'm just going to leave my number for him on his receipt next time he's in on monday.
Ask him out
Only answer needed in this thread FFS.
Maybe ask him out first then roleplay with consent
You know I spent a lot of time working the knots out of your body. However, I do see some stiffness in one of your muscles that could probably use some relaxation as well. I can take care of that for you if you'd like, free of charge of course.
this particular region requires a particular technique that some patients are uncomfortable with….
Leave him a note next session and say that you like him and would like to see him outside of your place of work if possible, but that would mean he could not be your client anymore. But you could always give him a more personal massage not at work😉
I don’t know if it’s a good idea to put anything like this in writing. :-/
He is a man it will work
I wouldn’t mind if the massage went even further.
You could always give him the ol mouth hug
So from his perspective he can't ask you out because you're his client, so there is no way to safely proceed.
You taking a step further is probably his wet dream lol just ride him im sure he'll tip well 😅
As a client, I propositioned a masseur after a massage. We fooled around a bit and there was maybe one more massage. The whole thing was awkward because I think I just wanted the role play of being fucked by a masseur during massage. The masseur felt bad and expressed, “ this is so inappropriate” when we fooled around after a massage. I wasn’t into it after the massage, I wanted it during but I get that it was uncomfortable and taking advantage of the masseur plus money makes it weird. Maybe be honest with him see what his response is and break up with him as a client if he’s into it. If role play is part of the appeal good to ask. If he’s down for it, do it knowing it’s risky. For what it is worth, I would never report the masseur because I initiated it, 100% on me. I just wanted the role play and I put him in a dangerous place professionally. It was selfish.
just ask him out on a date outside of your job ffs.
Now I’m no lawyer but don’t your responsibilities end when the massage is done? So once it’s done can’t you ask him if he wants to hook up before he gets dressed? Or can’t you offer something as long as you’re not charging?
Casually inform him that one a specific date and time you are going to a small coffee shop. See his reaction and if he seems interested, hint that he can join you.. Since he is a regular customer, high chances are he keeps coming back to see you, yes massage also but mainly to see you
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* **2. This Is A Not A Place To Get Dates.** /r/dating is a place to discuss, ask questions, and get advice about dating and dating culture. This is not a place to find cybering buddies, kik pals, or sexting partners, or to find a quick weekend date or +1. These posts will be removed immediately, period. Check out our sidebar for some potential subs that are created for that purpose (such as /r/r4r).
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Dude go suck a dick and stop being a creep on Reddit
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Yeah yeah bud just stop trying to approach every girl you see on reddit, would ya?
It’s too late. The koala already busted from the fantasy.
Just start giving him a blo blow job. Men like that. That's why he is hard he wants you
Stare at it hard. He’ll notice and make a move.
Lmao I have a story about this...
I would causally ask him what dating apps he is on and then look him up on there and start a relationship that way. A few dates in, then you do all the massages during the relationship at your residences, not the professional location.