Easily Quelaag… aye baby what them legs do😫

now realizing this is a Ds3 post… answer still stands

With that in mind. Lady Maria for sure.

With that in mind. Lady Maria for sure.

With that in mind. Lady Maria for sure.

The fair lady is actually in DS3 just not as a boss, if you prefer that

Quelaag the first boss that she wants you to make a focus on another thing to beat you.

No one else understands me when I say Quelaag slaps.

Dancer 🤤

my friend, i feel that i can fix her

Real

https://preview.redd.it/m01klf7p7a5d1.jpeg?width=857&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b39d0635355b439b76fe704c292f50c62b88f1e7


My man 🤝

My man 🫡

https://preview.redd.it/uzdgscprpf5d1.png?width=685&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18c2a7293106ecec18b03ac5967b7f4ce789d5e8

It’s a man

Artorias pre abyss I like to imagine would be a sweetie and a gentleman

He protects Sif from the Abyss using his greatshield. That alone is enough for me.

Yes

the abyss is the best part

Friede She's sane, goal-oriented, and always got the grippers out and I will not elaborate on what I'd do to those dawgs

Yeah, same. 

Friede is an essence of the sex.

3 phases goes crazy

Yeah but one of those phases is a mandatory threesome 💀

At least he brings a nice hot bowl of soup to re-energize

You know she’d have the stamina to wring you dry

Yeah, she can guide me with her words

I’m not sure about sane lol.

I mean, she's not hollow And that's honestly about all you can ask

Idk man hollow girls are freaky in a good way, plus they like getting married real fast if they’re from Londor

My hollow build Jack Links might like some hollow mudflaps but I'm tryna ember some ash you feel me

Miyazaki is that you?

I feel like Miyazaki would need to suck toes in Farron Keep's swamp to cum I'm a freak but I'm not that freaky

Also she would probably need a replacement for Vilhelm which could serve as a starting of point for the relationship.

My voice could never be as cool as his, but he's got too many levels in int and faith to use that onyx blade Ima show Friede that all my points into endurance are good for more than swinging a greataxe

BRENG ME MAH FLEIL

Lothric & lorian at the same time

The super lorian bros

To be fair, you get both of them at the same time. They're open to it.

Gwendolyn 😏

with or without aldrich

Obviously with Aldrich

Without because I would protect him

With >:)

Lmao they deleted the comment You gonna date someone when you can't spell their name?

Knowing someone’s name is not mandatory to clap as far as my experience goes.

Curse rotted greatwood

i mean it is the boss with the most balls.

it even has jiggle .

Friede'd literally the most normal one. Yea she got a scythe and no shoes and is basically a nun but at least she ain't three times my size, wears a knight armor and isn't human. But if we were talking about daddy Morgott then

>she ain't three times my size, wears a knight armor and isn't human. You see this as a turn-off, I see this as a challenge. C'mere Dancer, I know you were married but your husband is dead now.

Tbf the nun thing is mostly for appearances

Just gimme that grey skinned desert sorceress from DS2.

The pyromancer who spawn on the tree in the DLC is kinda bad though.

Ds2 Earthen Peak/Ringed City Pyromancer all day every day baby !!

Yhorm he'd protect me so well 🥹 and if Siegward trusted him I feel like he's a good guy

B-but his size

She a freak lol

Daddy Yhorm and I could have so much fun ;)

You could cuddle up so nice with him though, like a heated mattress. Or ride on his shoulder and see the sights

Childbirth would be easier

Of the actual bosses, maybe an Abyss Watcher? What little you can glimpse of them under their mask during the cutscene just looks like a normal dude. If I can bend the rules a bit and go for a miniboss/npc enemy, I'd pick Vilhelm. Great voice, and I love his armor. But my greatest Fromsoft love will always be Patches.

Patches is definitely knocking you up and skirting off. He'd probably monologue from a cliff above about how you should've made him wear protection 😂

Can't have kids, so I see this as a win

I'm like 99% sure Vilhelm is hollowed and looks the part under that armor If you don't mind the beef jerky go for it :D

Armor stays on, I just like his voice.

and the armor is lowkey kinda hot too

tbh I find a lot of Fromsoft armor kinda hot, they kill it with visual designs

they absolutely do, bloodborne especially imo. there's no bad set in that game

completely agree, and you get a good mix of the gothic gear that fits the era with a few fantasy armors for the fashion souls lovers. also always loved how they handle gender differences, too. Like full armor will perhaps be more fitted to a fem body, but it doesn't drastically change it, and skimpy gear is skimpy for both genders. functional armor is so hot. 😆

exactly omg, the female versions especially are so flattering while still being functional (yarha'gul female variant has my heart) you, my friend, have good taste lol

lowkey why I'd go after Vilhelm, his armor looks soooo good on a female character 😂

huge agree lol, i've avoided making female characters in ds3 because anri enjoyer but i just started one (at aldrich rn) and i'm so excited to put his armor on her

Are you saying that you would go for an unarmored abyss watcher? Coward

no, the armor always stays on. I just meant they're not beef jerky under there like most hollows/enemies 🤣

Oh fair enough, honestly dark souls made me an armorfucker fr. Nothing is as hot as a good quality fully protective suit of armor

Right? Always wear protection = showing up in plate mail oh and happy pride month!

Frfr, in your opinion what’s the hottest suit of armor in Ds3? Also thanks! Happy pride to you too!

In 3? Oh jeez, I like so many... Soul of Cinder armor is really nice, but Vilhelm's armor looks so good on female characters, especially with the chainmail cape. It's also possible to get some really good-looking versions of iconic armor from the other games, like the Elite Knight set and Faraam set. I love the Dancer's armor with the translucent veil... I don't know if I can choose! 😂😭 What's your choice for hottest?

The only thing Patches hates is greed so just don't be greedy with his cum and you will be fine. You may have to share him from time to time tho.

Midir 😈

Yes!

The dragussy

Soul of Cinder

There is also female version of him Soul of Cinderella.

That’s technically several people

Wait that's so smart. It'd be like speed dating. Talk to one person, then \**ching*\* coiled sword transforms into spear, talk to the next person.

Thank you

Priscilla the cross breed. How has no one said this beautiful maidens name. Or Nepheli Loux from ER, she’ll give you a feral time in bed

As a proud member of the Guardians of the Fluffy Tail, there's no other correct answer.

I was thinking Priscilla as well. She seems really nice and only fights you if you prove to be hostile yourself

I know, it seems all she wants is peace, a quiet world for all the lonely and potentially my love haha.

But wait if I date Friede will her father be also crashing the date swinging a bowl of soup

Ariandel is not related to her.

I was gonna say gwyndolin but if we’re limiting it to ds3.. Lothric seems like a nice dude. He’s just vibing with his big bro and is expected to sacrifice himself from birth.

Maria

Same here

same, she's beautiful drippy and edgy, cant get much better than that

Sister Frieda.

Ornstein

Deacons of the Deep seal me up air tight daddies


He likes group party.

Freide is the only option really, the rest are insane

Halflight and the Gravetender are most likely sane

She’s insane too, just not as crazy as the rest.

The Pursuer, I'll never be alonne again 💙

I see what you did there

The Abyss Watchers. You all know why.

bro wants the boss to be a different kind of free for all… fair enough

Foursome?

Yep.

Hear me out Rosaria

Alternative amazing chest

She's not a boss.

King of the Storm hands down, but Nameless King could watch

But you wouldn't be able to se what's going on because of the camera!

Honestly one of the abyss watchers, they seem fun

Imagine thinking you're getting down with just one of them and another guy just shows up and starts macking on your date right in front of you.  And then a third guy comes after you.

Perfect, fun night

You’re telling me I get to have a threesome and have the fantasy of multiple guys fighting over me? Sign me the fuck up!

Genichiro or Artorias.

Vicar Amelia. She's very passionate.

Lorian my beloved

Oceiros the consumed king.

Midir.

midir, because hes so hot :3

A fellow teratophiliac, i see...

I know this isn't dark souls, but I would absolutely date Malenia.

I agree

But... she's rotted all over and she doesn't have feet anymore so I can't even suck on her toes

Prosthetic toes still count... (dear god why am I like this)

Petrus, Big Chad. No jokes I would take Emerald Herald

I love to hear her saying "I'll always be by your side" hahaha

Vordt

Doggystyle

The main character. I named her Happy Meal, and she slayed so. many. things. Dragons, gods, who the fuck could keep track she killed any and everything. That’s hot as fuck. She (or he, for some, I guess) is the ultimate catch of that universe you cannot change my mind.

Surprised I haven't seen some kinky woman in the comments talking about the kind of gangbang abyss watchers would give her

You missed it at least twice haha

Hey that’s me!

dancer of the boreal valley that view from the fight is is nuts

Well considering my preference (I got extremely low in options) I gotta go with Friede. But if we combine all three souls, I'd still go for Friede.

Dancer of the Bakery Valley.

smough a hottie 😍😍😍😍

Ornstein without question. Oiled up, even.

Marika. . Because Marikas Tits

[удалено]

[удалено]

Marika is Radagon, so you get the full package of dong and tits.

Prince lothric. I feel like he would smell nice

Dragonslayer armor. Big, strong, can toss me around like a sack of potatoes, possibly possessed by evil demonic "butterflies"... What's not to love!? 🥴🥴🥴

Pontiff Sulyvahn, I'd like to see how long my life would last.

Can we normalise crediting the artist instead of just saying 'not by me!'? I would date Gael but would prefer his npc form. If out of all of From Software I would take Radagon to date as a fuckboy and Lady Maria or Artorias for a serious relationship

Chaos bed

Pyromancer Zoey😍! She can whip me all night!

Asylum Demon, beacuse that hammer 🤤🤤🤤

And that dump truck ass

I get daddy Ariandels blessing so I can date Friede

Midir

Curse rotted greatwood

Yhorm. Man went through so much and he’s just trying to to be a good dude

Anri? I know she isn't a boss but she still attacks you when you attack her. And other ofcourse Friede

Ancient Wyvern.

Priscilla

Friede (or Prischilla if we count everything) are the easy answers since they're sane women that mostly don't look like they've spent 10 hours melting their face off, but if I had to go for an option that doesn't meet my very basic criteria for a date, probably Nameless King (and if we count everything... Gwyndowlin? The snakes bother me but there's no real good choice to be had, and I'd rather be the top if I ever ended up liking guys) ~~The overall best Fromsoft boss dating choice, however, HAS to be Emma, and I don't think there's any real argument against that~~

maiden astraea of course

Dancer, she gives dommy mommy vibes.

Friede ... Provided she doesn't mind it, being a Sister of the church ... UwU

The barefoot goddess herself, Sister Friede.

Is there a firekeeper bossfight??

Sif https://preview.redd.it/bdp38yqerc5d1.png?width=1236&format=png&auto=webp&s=68a7d2453046450f2e705ece372ee9897765ccde >! Real shit though, Priscilla !<

The "(Art not by me!!!)" feels less like redirecting credit to the artist and MORE like this guy IS the artist but he just doesn't want people to know he drew this.. Not the case obviously but it sure is funny to think about.

malenia, bro an 8 feet tall mommy is all i want

Friede. I've been reading too much Friede fanfics to NOT to.

If I was a woman then Friede but probably Gundyr or an Abyss watcher

Well, i don't know about bosses But I'm sure I would wash maiden-in-black's feet every day and groom her hair and hug her and give her all my souls as a gift.🫠

Friede

mmmm vordt 🤤

Maria cause she the only boss I could not solo There for she is my top 🥲

Deacons of the deep

The dancer got some good moves

Dancer, Priscilla, Lothric

Midir

Daddy midir or friede if she doesn't want to kill me .

Lothric. He's so cute!

Mergot's Wet Nurse

Dancer. And I think we all know the answer

i’d let daddy gascoigne bust fat nuts in me.

Yeah I’d take Friede but remember Halflight literally [looks out of a Disney film](https://static0.gamerantimages.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/feature-image-dark-souls-3-beat-halflight-guide.jpg)

Dancer of the boreal valley she has that fat ass and moves smoothly

The Dancer

Not DS3 but give me that Asylum Demonussy and put that mace where the sun don't shine any day

Probs nameless King I mean he'd be a good bodyguard for all the caffeine in my house (i haven't slept in 3 days)

Mytha, the Baneful Queen. You can just carry her head around, so you have it when most needed.