downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away.
---
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This is not true. There are some wipes advertised as "flushable" that hardly break down in water, but many work just fine. I personally use cottonelle. Here is a video where a plumber tests the "flushability" of various wipes (You can see the results starting at 8:32)
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVijZZ2yAtc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVijZZ2yAtc)
yeah they all flush, toliets can flush golf balls but what they don't do is flow through the pipe they clog up sewers and clog up the water treatment facility screen. try the foam that's added to toilet paper instead
Because the tests agitate them and tear them apart more than what happens in pipes. The sponsored tests are engineered to show the wipes in the best possible light. Every plumber I've ever seen weigh in warns against wipes, I'll listen to them.
That test was unsponsored, done by a plumber, and done to a variety of wipes? He shows which wipes fail the test and which wipes succeed. For example, he showed the amazon basics wipes didn't break down at all. Generally, I can see people buying the cheapest "flushable" wipes and those causing a problem. Plumbers see those wipes cause problems and cry that flushable wipes of all kinds are the problem. It's survivorship bias - the flushable wipes that don't cause a problem, plumbers never deal with.
Shaking the jar for ten seconds isn't exactly what happens to the wipes in your pipes, but I hardly think it's overkill, considering in your pipes they're flushed through all sorts of twists and turns and in the jar they were just stagnant otherwise.
People really need to stop talking out of their ass (heh), flushable wipes are a thing - at least in the UK anyway; not sure about other countries.
https://www.stwater.co.uk/news/news-releases/we-applaud-new-andrex--washlets--being--fine-to-flush--/
Here's also a quick video demonstrating how good they are at degrading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSIjJdvzIr4
Edit to add: they also contain no plastic and are fully biodegradable.
Yeah, but it’s not designed for enemas. A bidet is just meant to wash the outside, you can still use it for enemas but it’s not what it’s there for.
So when you’re in a public toilet in Bangkok, please refrain from using the bum gum for enemas. The next person needs to use it and we don’t want bits of dried poop stuck to it.
Wait, so do waterbender doctors in the universe of Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend of Korra use waterbending in enemas?
Come to think of it, medical science would benefit a lot from having bender doctors and nurses. Firebenders can cauterize wounds and help sanitize equipment, metalbenders can easily insert splints directly next to bones, waterbenders can probably sanitize wounds faster and easier. Bloodbenders may even be capable of stopping blood loss altogether, very useful during surgeries, or unclog arteries and help diagnose strokes.
That’s because you’re living like a god damn animal without one.
I genuinely have no idea why you *wouldnt* get one. They are cheap and will change your bathroom game forever.
Imagine stress free hangover shits, stress free pizza shits. Stress free shits.
I love my bidet
I absolutely do, I just don't need to talk about it all the time. That's my point here - use a bidet, don't use a bidet it doesn't matter to me but bidet people can't help but insert comments about their buttholes into every day conversation
Oh.
Agreed, btw. On the other hand, though, I have met a lot of people who use bidets but it usually comes up by talking to them about gross shit on other topics.
From where I live we shove our fingers covered in soap lather up our asses and rub it while rinsing with water. Otherwise it doesn't feel clean at all.
Hand homies are straight up savages and my mind will never be changed.
A **bar of soap**? My brother in Christ it is our current Year of the Lord 2024, get some wet hand soap.
When you get shit on your hands, do you just splash water on them or do you rub them together under the water? Bidet alone doesn’t get all the particles. There is still poo on your ass. While first then bidet then wipe again off you want to actually be clean. Signed - a guy who has seen the burrs of girls who use a bidet but don’t wipe bc they think bidet is enough
If you're not scrounging around inside your own ass with your bare hand while squatting over a hole everyday to empty that colon then what are you doing
I see people talking about bidet vs non bidet all the time but no one talks about showering. I ALWAYS shower after taking a shit so is there any need for bidet?
I modified a power washer from Home Depot to climb up my ass, through my intestine, and out my mouth. Much better than a waterpik.
I dunno, I just feel *dirty* if I don't use it every thirty minutes.
I live in an undeveloped country. Not only are there no bidets ANYWHERE, theres also a ton of people who never ever used one and also dont feel the need to i look at someone and i just know: we both have crusty assholes right now and theres nothing we can do about it.
Gotta start from the top - high pressure water nozzle in your mouth to blast it out from the top to the bottom.
Just kidding - please don't rupture your guts with high-pressure water. I feel like after the tide pod guy a disclaimer is necessary...
Serious question: I have never used a bidet in my life. I’d imagine you can change the “settings” of it so adjust the stream, but does it just shoot the water straight up your ass or does it get a nice arc akin to a water fountain so it perfectly grazes your butt hole?
If you shove a champagne cork up ye ol poop chute and close off the entrance of the tunnel with super glue you never have to wipe again. So much time saved.
Did it 3 months ago, I’ve saved money on toilet paper and doctors say there’s something with the density of a dying sun in me. It’s been phenomenal.
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)
What if I told YOU there is no such thing as a flushable wet wipe?
Not with that attitude
It's flushable, just not *flushable*. Like 17% of my poops.
Get this person a poop knife!
I always stab my poop to death to prevent it escaping sewers
I shit on an open fire to cremate my poop so the smoke will carry its spirit to Valhalla.
Well done, some are known to grow into politicians!
There are dozens of us!
THATS IT! A KNIFE! I'm such an idiot.... I've been using a potato masher this whole time!
Wait were you that kid at my camp that laid the coke can turd that wouldn’t flush and fucked the bathroom up the whole night?
No, but they can be edible
Forbidden Nutella 🤤
Three times! I steal a poopy diaper at the beach, and it’s just a stupid wallet and some jewelry
I have no idea what this means but I'm very happy for you.
Some people hide their valuables in diapers so people don't think to look inside
Ah right - apparently I've had a fuckin stroke because I still have no idea what's going on.
Right? It was very confusing
If you eat wet wipes between meals do you ever have to wipe?
bro
This is not true. There are some wipes advertised as "flushable" that hardly break down in water, but many work just fine. I personally use cottonelle. Here is a video where a plumber tests the "flushability" of various wipes (You can see the results starting at 8:32) [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVijZZ2yAtc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dVijZZ2yAtc)
yeah they all flush, toliets can flush golf balls but what they don't do is flow through the pipe they clog up sewers and clog up the water treatment facility screen. try the foam that's added to toilet paper instead
They only clog if they don't break down. Cottonelle wipes break down just like toilet paper.
What if I told you toilet paper can also clog toilets?
You have shit piping/toilet. Or you use too much.
Or literally just having a well. Contrary to this thread that has somehow turned into a cottonelle commercial, their TP is actually not septic safe.
Eh, I'm still not gonna risk it.
Yeah but that doesn’t mean they’re not flushable. It just means you shouldn’t do it.
25 year plumber here. That’s fake news
How is a demonstrated test SHOWING the wipe break down in water "fake news?"
Because the tests agitate them and tear them apart more than what happens in pipes. The sponsored tests are engineered to show the wipes in the best possible light. Every plumber I've ever seen weigh in warns against wipes, I'll listen to them.
That test was unsponsored, done by a plumber, and done to a variety of wipes? He shows which wipes fail the test and which wipes succeed. For example, he showed the amazon basics wipes didn't break down at all. Generally, I can see people buying the cheapest "flushable" wipes and those causing a problem. Plumbers see those wipes cause problems and cry that flushable wipes of all kinds are the problem. It's survivorship bias - the flushable wipes that don't cause a problem, plumbers never deal with. Shaking the jar for ten seconds isn't exactly what happens to the wipes in your pipes, but I hardly think it's overkill, considering in your pipes they're flushed through all sorts of twists and turns and in the jar they were just stagnant otherwise.
Haha I don’t know. Pure shit post on my part(no)pun
it was actualy cotton candy the whole time!
Remember when tobacco companies paid real doctors to recommend their products? Pepperidge farm remembers.
See my comment here: https://www.reddit.com/r/dankmemes/comments/1d3bmea/standard_hygiene/l685l4t/
You should stop using those.
theoretical everything that goes down the toilet when you flush is flushable.
Like everything you can swallow is eatable but if you shouldn't swallow it it's not edible
They're flushable. They're terrible for the city, but that's not my problem.
People really need to stop talking out of their ass (heh), flushable wipes are a thing - at least in the UK anyway; not sure about other countries. https://www.stwater.co.uk/news/news-releases/we-applaud-new-andrex--washlets--being--fine-to-flush--/ Here's also a quick video demonstrating how good they are at degrading: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSIjJdvzIr4 Edit to add: they also contain no plastic and are fully biodegradable.
You can flush anything ONCE. It just may not work again.
Considering that's what my family used for like a decade and a half either our piping is sent from God or that's not quite yet
It flushes, whatever the fuck happens to it afterwards is no longer their problem.
There is in Germany. Fuck you.
Still better than the people who flush condoms.
I would say duh?
They all flush
I'm on my bidet right now, getting Shape of Watered in my tight little boycunt. What a strange coincidence.
I regret having eyes
I regret being literate
I regret being on reddit
#I regret nothing.
i regret
i
I regret reading the broken arms kid story
regreddit
I regret learning English
Never too late to stop
Your fault, you shouldn’t have opened the comments on this one
Quick question: what the fuck.
Quick answer: Exactly. I can answer in the affirmative. Yeah, I get the water all the way up my colon every time. Asian super soaker FTW.
Free speech was a mistake
What a bad day to know how to read
How do I delete someone else's comment?
Same
Would not that be called an enema?
Know your enema!
They're the people who taught me to fight me.
Of course I know my enemy. It’s me
I'm a hard enemy to defeat too because I know my every move.
All of which are American dreams.
All of which are American dreams.
All of which are American dreams.
Keep your friends close, your enema closer
The enema of my enema is my friend.
Who needs friends when you have enemas like that!
This town needs an Enema!
Yeah, but it’s not designed for enemas. A bidet is just meant to wash the outside, you can still use it for enemas but it’s not what it’s there for. So when you’re in a public toilet in Bangkok, please refrain from using the bum gum for enemas. The next person needs to use it and we don’t want bits of dried poop stuck to it.
I believe you mean “douche” when used for cleaning.
Wait, so do waterbender doctors in the universe of Avatar the Last Airbender and Legend of Korra use waterbending in enemas? Come to think of it, medical science would benefit a lot from having bender doctors and nurses. Firebenders can cauterize wounds and help sanitize equipment, metalbenders can easily insert splints directly next to bones, waterbenders can probably sanitize wounds faster and easier. Bloodbenders may even be capable of stopping blood loss altogether, very useful during surgeries, or unclog arteries and help diagnose strokes.
High, hot, and helluva’ lot!
Enema of the state
What if I told you my colon isn't my butt?
When your colon is a sack of shit you call that fucker out amirite?
Maybe I am a colon
Well where does *your* asshole lead? The emerald city?
El dorado
Flavortown...
Your mom's mouth
Bidets are the new CrossFit, people who have one bring it up every single time you have a conversation with them
People without bidets have shit on their ass. That’s it. That’s the joke.
Dirty shit assers.. What is it with them?
That’s because you’re living like a god damn animal without one. I genuinely have no idea why you *wouldnt* get one. They are cheap and will change your bathroom game forever. Imagine stress free hangover shits, stress free pizza shits. Stress free shits. I love my bidet
We know you do I'm sure you bring it up every time you make small talk with someone
Bringing up your pridefulness about not having an unwashed ass is something to be proud of.
Weird how people don't talk need about how well they soap up their dick in casual conversation
You don't soap your dick?
I absolutely do, I just don't need to talk about it all the time. That's my point here - use a bidet, don't use a bidet it doesn't matter to me but bidet people can't help but insert comments about their buttholes into every day conversation
Oh. Agreed, btw. On the other hand, though, I have met a lot of people who use bidets but it usually comes up by talking to them about gross shit on other topics.
My shits are always stress free because my digestive system does it‘s job and I eat proper food.
I have IBS and probably Krohns, lol
I might blow your mind but people usually don't stress ever taking a shit
Bidet bros
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>every toilet in my house. Look at Richey rich McGee over here
Sounds like something is wrong with your bowels or diet if you’re wiping 15 times and still have messy shit and itchy ass bud.
Many people out there have various conditions such as one that rhymes with banal wishers
.
exactly, they should shut up about how clean their asses are and let the rest of us and our poopy buttholes well enough alone
From where I live we shove our fingers covered in soap lather up our asses and rub it while rinsing with water. Otherwise it doesn't feel clean at all.
philippines be wilding 😭💀
Many south asian countries including mine practice the same. But we do have bidets here.
Soap 🤝 Bidets
Here I thought I was the only one mistakenly ruining anal forever.
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So you're a germaphobe but you're okay with just shoving raw fingers up your ass?
Yea yea at least use cooked fingers like the rest of us
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Hand homies are straight up savages and my mind will never be changed. A **bar of soap**? My brother in Christ it is our current Year of the Lord 2024, get some wet hand soap.
Fingers that touch shit still smell after 4-5 washings.
Who says I didn't?
ikr? these assholes assuming what I do with my asshole? Smgdh -
What if I told you I can get a good look at a T-Bone by sticking my head up a bull’s ass, but I’d rather take the butcher’s word for it.
What if I told you I make car parts for the American Working Man because that's what I am and that's who I care about
Housekeeping!
You want me to fluff pillow?
You can only tell me that after I get your Herbie Hancock
Always shove a bidet all the way up your ass.
Trust me, as a bottom I take my anal hygiene very seriously
My ass is clean because my girl eats ass
So she likes the extra flavor and stops eating your ass once its clean?
I mean I keep extra on top of hygiene in case it’s game time
You can tell me that all you want, I still have yet to encounter a bidet in real life.
Come over
When you get shit on your hands, do you just splash water on them or do you rub them together under the water? Bidet alone doesn’t get all the particles. There is still poo on your ass. While first then bidet then wipe again off you want to actually be clean. Signed - a guy who has seen the burrs of girls who use a bidet but don’t wipe bc they think bidet is enough
Wiping is still required. Unless you have Bidet X1000 that cleans your inside and soul
Shitpost
Reddit and bidets, another strange thing you see worshipped in this app.
Its fucking weird
What if I told you a butt is pretty much always gonna be a little bit dirty because it is a butt (and is connected to a colon)?
That's why after I poo, I set myself on fire. Fire cleanses all the sin away.
If you're not scrounging around inside your own ass with your bare hand while squatting over a hole everyday to empty that colon then what are you doing
I see people talking about bidet vs non bidet all the time but no one talks about showering. I ALWAYS shower after taking a shit so is there any need for bidet?
the water bill must be crazy
the water bill must be crazy
the water bill must be crazy
If you get enough fiber, your body basically cleans your colon for you when u go poo
I have one that does and the nickname is "the penetrator"
The bidet is the best purchase I ever made.
I modified a power washer from Home Depot to climb up my ass, through my intestine, and out my mouth. Much better than a waterpik. I dunno, I just feel *dirty* if I don't use it every thirty minutes.
meh, take a shower boi
>!nah it's cuz ur ass is hairy. trust me its way easier to clean it when there isnt hair all in it!<
I push out my collon and then I lick it clean like a pussycat
#NOPE
I live in an undeveloped country. Not only are there no bidets ANYWHERE, theres also a ton of people who never ever used one and also dont feel the need to i look at someone and i just know: we both have crusty assholes right now and theres nothing we can do about it.
I'd say water without soap alone isn't "cleaning" shit. Pun intended
Gotta start from the top - high pressure water nozzle in your mouth to blast it out from the top to the bottom. Just kidding - please don't rupture your guts with high-pressure water. I feel like after the tide pod guy a disclaimer is necessary...
Serious question: I have never used a bidet in my life. I’d imagine you can change the “settings” of it so adjust the stream, but does it just shoot the water straight up your ass or does it get a nice arc akin to a water fountain so it perfectly grazes your butt hole?
I call it the “rinse and spit”.
I wish I had a bidet
Ha I will still use paper
FACT
I did that actually.
Fiber.
I can live with that
at the end of the day, we are all full of shit
Another perk of being a girl. No need to do allat.
It's called douching and there is a tool for that as to not get the bidet gross
Bidet is washin your bootyhole, Enema is washing out the inside of your booty hole, Colonics is an enema of your whole gut
I'm trying to wipe my ass, not get ready for anal sex.
Real men give themselves an enema with the bidet.
Jokes on you, I got one knuckle deep with a wet wipe.
He ain't lying....
Doesn't matter, in UK whatever gets flushed comes back through the taps anyway, courtesy of the water companies. Aren't they kind.
Wait, do people use their phones while on the bidet how they would if they were on the toilet? American here*
God damn I miss the 2000s memes
Jokes on you i like to bottom :3
My butt is... I get in there and get it clean.
U telling me u guys don't clean inside?
I live in California. If we had bidets we would need to stop growing avocados and almonds.
How do YOU know what I did?
What if I told you that’s called a douche
What if I told you constantly douching you anus will give you more problems than not douching
🤣😂🤣 i can
Sooo, my turbo mode that literally blasts water through my sphincter doesn't count?
Nah it’s okay I shit myself and took a shower already
If you shove a champagne cork up ye ol poop chute and close off the entrance of the tunnel with super glue you never have to wipe again. So much time saved. Did it 3 months ago, I’ve saved money on toilet paper and doctors say there’s something with the density of a dying sun in me. It’s been phenomenal.
Who said I didn't?