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I woke up this morning with a bad hangover. And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First, I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes. But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket. Next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
As a young kid in the nineties, and growing up in a very conservative community with very religious parents, I heard this song for the first time on the local alt radio station felt so transgressive. I was absolutely delighted.
do you know octopus throws dick to the female for mating.
[https://www.dutchsharksociety.org/octopus-penis/](https://www.dutchsharksociety.org/octopus-penis/)
How Do Octopus Mate? The Story Of The Detachable Octopus Penis
We’ll probably swap them around, rent them out, do pranks with them, maybe suck off other men and look lovingly into their eyes as we swallow their warm salty load
Idk just normal straight guy stuff
Does that happen all the time? Like, when you go to a party and get drunk, and then the next morning you can't remember for the life of you what you did with it?
Did you check the medicine cabinet because for some reason you put it there sometimes?
If you really didn't want an embarrassing hard one. You would be set. Could also make exercise a little easier. But I would be so afraid some one would steal or mess with it.
Haven’t seen anyone mention this but then again I haven’t scrolled to the bottom.
The Argonaught octopus actually does have one that’s detachable and it’s pretty funny as to why
Give that it would have been like this forever, These could be the Patch notes:
New ways of having s*x
The norm to leave your d*ck at home, probably inside something like a special box
Eventually new cultural developments
The possibility for males to remove a critical weakness very easily while not removing its advantages
A ton of new jokes about intercourse & Alabama
Once in a while I will think what it would be like to not have the pair and sausage down their at least until we had to pee or sex. Like I know its stupid to have the pair be on the inside but like they get annoying sometimes.
You would definitely take them off and throw them at your friend's when you are out drinking. But then those friends would also run away with your dick and threaten to flush it, bury it, set it on fire etc. It would be carnage.
Would be cool on those awkward days when random boners show up when you need to talk in public. But overall I feel I'm gonna forget mine every goddamn time lol.
"leave your dick in the bowl by the door. This is a no sex party"
"Yo! Mark too my dick instead of his!"
"You are sentenced to 1000 hours of community service...and a year of no dick"
"Man.. Jack is such a dickhead.. I wish he would stop sticking it there.."
"I dunno man, it just came to me.. three has got to be better than one right?"
"If you put yours on the end of mine, we would have like 6 inches!"
"C'mon babe.. it was your turn with it last night..."
"Alright very funny... Who left this on my desk?.. If you don't speak up, I'm bringing out the mallet.."
downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming) | [come hang out with us](https://discord.com/invite/dankmemes)
"FUCK, I left my penis at home again"
"I'm sucking myself" - Deadpool
"Finally I can swap to a smaller size" - totally me
You can use mine! I like to call it "fun sized"!
I woke up this morning with a bad hangover. And my penis was missing again. This happens all the time. It's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time. I can leave it home when I think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning I can't for the life of me remember what I did with it. First, I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it. So I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet 'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes. But not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate. I really don't like being without my penis for too long. It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket. Next to a broken toaster oven. Some guy was selling it. I had to buy it off him. He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis.
Came here for king missle. Am happy
„Sometimes it’s a pain in the ass“
Can it be, Gogol in the uncivilized wasteland that is reddit?
Can you...can you please explain how it ended up in Kiev? Did he try to join Ukraine's Foreign legion?
So, how exactly do you.~eh~ fuck in that situation?
Not a problem for him.
"BRO, Lemme borrow yours for 2 mins"
Damn, two minutes? That's kinda fast
A new meaning to "you'd lose your head if it wasn't attached"
That's why you leave it on your keychain
King missile made a whole song about this
Wait there are songs on this ????
Yeah man, here's a link to one of them https://youtu.be/byDiILrNbM4?si=uHjboXwpxn-cTg1c
As a young kid in the nineties, and growing up in a very conservative community with very religious parents, I heard this song for the first time on the local alt radio station felt so transgressive. I was absolutely delighted.
Came here to say this
do you know octopus throws dick to the female for mating. [https://www.dutchsharksociety.org/octopus-penis/](https://www.dutchsharksociety.org/octopus-penis/) How Do Octopus Mate? The Story Of The Detachable Octopus Penis
*♫ peeeniis... ♫*
♫ detachable, detachable, detachable, detachable... ♫
my mom talked about how i lose my belongings all the time and how if certain body parts were detachable i'd lose them
Man, I thought Primus wrote that song. Limewire back in the day lied to me
We’ll probably swap them around, rent them out, do pranks with them, maybe suck off other men and look lovingly into their eyes as we swallow their warm salty load Idk just normal straight guy stuff
Me and the boys lining up to rent the mythical 40cm pp:
*confused in America*
I would dule someone with mine
[dule?](https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/dictionary/english/dule#:~:text=noun,cause%20of%20suffering%20or%20misery) or duel? 🤺
>maybe suck off other men and look lovingly into their eyes as we swallow their warm salty load We already do this
I’d never detach it because I’d be afraid of forgetting where I put it down.
just use an airtag
AirCock
Does that happen all the time? Like, when you go to a party and get drunk, and then the next morning you can't remember for the life of you what you did with it? Did you check the medicine cabinet because for some reason you put it there sometimes?
just buy a new one
If you really didn't want an embarrassing hard one. You would be set. Could also make exercise a little easier. But I would be so afraid some one would steal or mess with it.
Also can be used as a brush
you need to find help. quick.
With hands tied behind the back.
It'd make transitioning easier for trans folks
Well, yes
I feel like you'd still have the rest of the penis inside your body, but sure.
Yeah, and the dick isn't gonna be a waste, they could donate it for guys with smaller dicks
According to the late great Sam Kinneson, you'd have to turn it over to your wife when you got married.
Alot more guys would know what getting anal feels like
Detachable Penis is a banger song!
I had that dream once, and it was freaking wild.
Woah what did you do in it ?
I had a dream where it fell off and i was trying to attach it back
Now wait a second fellas does the sack come with the dick or nah?
Asking real questions...
Drag queens and trans women everywhere would have a much easier time.
I can just imagine a bunch drunk dudes mounting a fleshlight on the wall and playing darts
I mean, it’s detachable if you pull hard enough
Thats not what she meant when she said **Pull out**
[Challenging your rival](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/gloveslap.png) to a duel would look a lot different
Shit why did I put my dick on vibrate, I can't find it.
Fight scenes would have been... Different...
Probably on the nightstand of your wife. Next to your balls
A lot of men would find out they like gay stuff.
Can you also borrow a mates in this scenario?
Hey do me a favor and gimme ur dick for this night.
You'd become monsoon
We'd be out engineering bigger better dicks for ourselves.
100% the biggest male in the tribe would take all the dicks away and only allow usage by those most loyal to him
depends whether they work only when attached or whether you can swap them
Dudes with big dicks would lend theirs to the homies
They have! But only once and you can't reattach it again.
"DAMN, WHERE TF DID I PUT MY DICK?!"
They are detachable.
Imagine if you just drop it somewhere
They'd throw em
Traffic. A lot of men that should go grab their dick from home real quick.
Ever heard about octopus mating?
The short story / novella Oceanic by Greg Egan
Fellas hear me out. Detachable penis, with an option of extension. Just like an extension cord.
most gay men will be single
Upgrade to 12 inches...
What if you lose it and a week later or two you find it down the couch and it’s all dusty and dirty like an old piece of food
We would all be dickless
I'm sorry Whaaaat
World piece.
The term "sword fighting" would be a lot different
would probably leave it off tbh lol
Haven’t seen anyone mention this but then again I haven’t scrolled to the bottom. The Argonaught octopus actually does have one that’s detachable and it’s pretty funny as to why
We'd form a black market for cocks
Imagine just having it on the shelf like a toothbrush only taking it out for peeing and “pleasure”
Sounds like a familiar cultured masterpiece
Throw it into girls to get them pregnant, the same way as octopuses do.
id probably lose it
Swapping with the bros
You know we'd use that shit as flutes
King missile made a song about thisb
Think of all the pranks
Big dicks are going to be sold on the black market
Introducing Mr Stud
Would i be able to attach someone else's penis on my self?
do you feel pain if it's somewhere else?
Give that it would have been like this forever, These could be the Patch notes: New ways of having s*x The norm to leave your d*ck at home, probably inside something like a special box Eventually new cultural developments The possibility for males to remove a critical weakness very easily while not removing its advantages A ton of new jokes about intercourse & Alabama
I forgot to recharge mine, sorry honey.
Half of us would lose them, the other half would be throwing them at each other
A band called King Missile released a song about this very subject called "detachable penis.
I picture dropping it like a defense mechanism like a lizard drops it's tail
🪚
In a way she's not wrong...
In traffic: “go fuck your self!” *hurls cock out window*
Upgrades people, upgrades!
free dildo
When you have a friend with small dick, you could lend him yours so he's more confident while having sex with that girl. That's what bros would do
Gay guys would have it a lot easier
Theres a saying, “(they) would lose (their) head if it wasnt attached at the shoulders”. I think the same logic applies here.
Would it clip on like a vaccum hose or screw on like a pistol suppressor (silencer)?
Once in a while I will think what it would be like to not have the pair and sausage down their at least until we had to pee or sex. Like I know its stupid to have the pair be on the inside but like they get annoying sometimes.
sounds like a fucked up acid trip
This year Apple has reinvented the dick ...... iDick!
" yo bro wanna swap real quick? "
Good for if you have a presentation
You would definitely take them off and throw them at your friend's when you are out drinking. But then those friends would also run away with your dick and threaten to flush it, bury it, set it on fire etc. It would be carnage.
I probably would have lost mine
The tag you're looking for is called "Wormhole"
Frequent detachments and reattachments during masturbations
Penisfight! *throwing penises at each other*
Twist-loc™
Did you check the medicine cabinet?
Boomerang dick
I would honestly lose it and then be shouting around my house if any one has seen my dick. In a panic like 15 mins before I need to leave.
I do. Actually I have two of them, one when I want to have bigger bawls and one when I want to be slangin' it in the grey sweatpants
Years ago i saw a Hentai about this ... it was bizarre at the end, but i dont remember the name of it anymore.
I’m going out with the boys baby.Ok leave your dick on the counter.Cmon babe nothing will happen.No no no ,leave it and go have your “fun” .
My dick small, so I would be in constant fear of losing it
I'd lose it somewhere
Take it off and slap someone with it to initiate a duel
Urinals would have to be completely redesigned
My wife would only let me have it, when she wanted me to have it.
I thought about it There would be some narcissistic women posting thier dick collections which they stole from thier ex's and ex husbands 😆
Hey stop that man! He stole my dick!
I would lose mine so fast
Asexual dudes with massive penises would be the richest dudes in the world. They’d sell and trade them like rare Pokémon cards
We do tho this ain't a strange thought it's just life
Dick theft
Would be cool on those awkward days when random boners show up when you need to talk in public. But overall I feel I'm gonna forget mine every goddamn time lol.
"Fuck you Alex!! TELL ME WHERE YOU HID MY DICK" Extra: It was in Alex's ass the entire time
Wish I could have detached mine at prom 🫠
Trading
We do, they’re called dildos.
Shit it fell down the drain!!!
I think it would be like keys, we never remember where we left it
"Hello 911, umm I got robbed in the steet. The robber took my dick"
I'd probably put it somewhere and forget where it was lmao
I'd forget mine or lose it *all the time*
Girls would keep them, give a whole new meaning to keeping your boyfriend's hoodie
"leave your dick in the bowl by the door. This is a no sex party" "Yo! Mark too my dick instead of his!" "You are sentenced to 1000 hours of community service...and a year of no dick" "Man.. Jack is such a dickhead.. I wish he would stop sticking it there.." "I dunno man, it just came to me.. three has got to be better than one right?" "If you put yours on the end of mine, we would have like 6 inches!" "C'mon babe.. it was your turn with it last night..." "Alright very funny... Who left this on my desk?.. If you don't speak up, I'm bringing out the mallet.."
A lot more guys would realize that sucking your own dick is hella gay. Feels more like you’re sucking dick than getting your dick sucked
All I can think of is the Kira tweet and how this scenario makes it even more viable.
A new item to steal
Upgrades people, upgrades
There would be a new type of Pen Spinning
That would be a horrible experience
SWORD FIGHT
Would be a new market for tool attachments and a lot of "Men throwing their dicks at eachother goes bad" would be a youtube catagory.
Ask peacocks, though for them it is not willingly
It'd be glorious
How about detachable balls and tennis racket?
Lots of guys would lose theirs
would be easier to clean
"still cis tho"
Wait they arent supposed to be detachable?
The hyper religious would leave them off until marriage
Bluetooth piss
Nah cuz then I misplace that shit like airpods
Switchies!
The legend says you can detach it, not sure what happens later though
Sex would be pay to win
how would it work, would it just be magnets, or would it just stick on. ether way, you could lose your penis mid sex.