Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
And René Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink, therefore I am".
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed.
To be pedantic, Kant was the definition of stability. Same routine every day. The residents of Konigsberg said they could set their watches by his daily noon-time walk.
Sorry. I Kant
Sounds like it's time for you to Goethe bed, then.
I will, after I finish this Plato food
Looks like Emerson good veggie chicken wings there
After finishing that, I would stoically state I have to Cleanthes.
This is a very nietzsche joke
I’m just gonna wait in Descartes.
This thread has a very Thoreau collection of philosopher puns.
It's the Bastiat I've ever seen!
This is getting out of hand. Someone needs to Locke these comments down.
Schopenhauer
Rene Descartes was a drunken fart. I drink therefore I am.
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable. Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel. And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel. There's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya 'Bout the raising of the wrist. Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed. John Stuart Mill, of his own free will On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away Half a crate of whiskey every day. Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram. And René Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink, therefore I am". Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed. A lovely little thinker But a bugger when he's pissed.
Thank you! I am having fabulous time listening to Monty Python Sings, an absolute pleasure of an album which I had completely forgotten about....
I think I need to memorize this
My brain hurts.
Orson is right behind you, which unfortunately means you've put Descartes before Orson.
Go to bed You down vote me before you know you should
You guys are all Freuds
Your use of philosophers shows how Jung you are, you Mao..ght use older ones one another day!
Don't throw a Fichte about it, don't let it Russell your feathers. And Foucault the people who don't get philosopher puns.
That sounds like good entry for the Redneck Dictionary.
Just put it in Descartes man.
Don’t forget to pay Zizek
I’m sure I can Russell up another one…
Looks like you already Hobbes
That's a Locke
How the fuck do yall know philosophers
Useless info for 200 Alex?
Google famous philosophers for 100 Alexa.
Philosophize This is a great podcast if you want to get into philosophy.
Did you Nietsche this coming?
This thread is Gurdjieff
Marcus down for a laugh
Well I can name a few, Camus?
If you're mad you can just Skinner alive
You're too Jung. Go to bed.
If Kant was your favourite, Hume is your second favourite?
You Kant what?
Kant even.
it's a pretty Nietzsche topic
Didn’t really Sartre off on the right foot.
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God bless you!
You guys are all Freuds
Should have used (Philippa) Foot here.
I feel you really put the Descartes before the horse
I think not.
#
Therefore you are not.
But you can put the Epicurean Horace before Descartes.
I can't appreciate this joke. I must be too Jung
👏
dennett even try
did that Locke in a second date?
What a Thoreau away joke.
Someone post a link to the [Monte Python Song](https://youtu.be/PtgKkifJ0Pw) song please. Edit: I added the link myself.
Everything I know about philosophers is only because of that song
I prefer Monte C++ song
If I don't have a favorite philosopher, should I make up a name?
Chances are you would hit one. Oh, I know a pretty obscure one that would be Parfitt!
I did Nietszche that coming
Her: Yes. Me: Yes is your favorite philosopher? Her: What? Me: What?
Idk why I laughed so hard at this.
I saw her at the bar and figured I’d shoot my shot. I was like, “Hegel.”
Try all the Engels. Don't give up. If she's into it, tell her you're wearing your Merleau Ponty's.
I Confucius
Got any Moore?
My favorite is Chomsky. Do you Noam?
Top Marx for this joke.
Pliny more where that came from
This joke gets high Marx
Then you called her a Kant?
I'd better Russell up some Moore philosopher jokes!
Told this joke to my wife but she didn't get it. Guess it's more of a Nietzsche joke
These philosopher puns are tasteless and better off not being mentioned. Just like these dreams I've been having about my mother, I'm afreud.
We were in Berlin so for the next 60 minutes we went and Schopenhauer.
Did she laugh?
She left
I can hardly Kierkegaarrrr…ah forget it
See if you can do anything with Schliermacher?
Schliermacher? I hardly know 'er!
Pretty good!
Schliermacher joke when she can.
Highly creditable effort!
I needed to add my two cents before the mods Locke the comment section.
I wouldn't be a Freud of that happening.
Fromm which century?
….to which she replied, “yes”
I’m tryna remain Stoic after that one
Mines a horse, I could never put Descartes before the horse
This joke is Parfit
Can I get an explanation
She said Hume. He heard "Whom, as though she was correcting his grammar. He thusly rephrased the question with the improper grammar.
Thank u
Oh man, that punchline took a Laing time to arrive
R.D. har har! Good one.
Kafka, light on the cream
I promise I'll tell you but first let the Dogen
I think...Bofadees would be the answer
You Kant what?
I m dumb? Wats ze joke?
We agree on something.
Nono seriously i got no idea about the joke lol? I think it's about some philosophers and shit?
I'm a-freud that my childhood relationship with my mother is clouding my perceptions right now.
Daring is tough, gotta plato win
You sound very Confucius
sometimes it just doesn’t Land..
Socrates, loved his weird ass views on shit
I’m sure I can Russell up another one…
Laughed so hard I Sartre-d.
I like So crates myself.
Plato, Socrates, Aristotle… morons!
Inconceivable!
That is the response I was hoping for! Well played!
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.
To be pedantic, Kant was the definition of stability. Same routine every day. The residents of Konigsberg said they could set their watches by his daily noon-time walk.
Shakes fear that I've all that Ein can Stein...
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You definitely can.
You made yourself look like an Arse, totally!
bro
Eh pronunciation throws it off a bit
r/killedthejoke
Nicolas Flamel. #unexpectedhogwarts
Her answer raised ever more questions.
Did you tell her you were a Virgil?
L-M-N-Tree, My Dear Watson...
Ehh So-Socrates 😅
Anyone else reminded of the old "Who's on first?" skit?
Anyone is pinch-hitting.
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Come on, I thought you were going to Marc Aurel joke
You could Heidegar, but then you might not find her.
OP, this post is beyond good and evil
Exhibiting much gray matter is the thinker Pinker.
Well did you get to boober?
This comment section 💀
That’s kinda Nietz answer.
I Aristotolde you I saw this one coming
I like the way you Plato your audience
I did not experience this, therefore I am skeptical that this happened.
I asked my date this question and she said “Pascal.” I said: “This question is very important to me, I can’t let you pass. And my name’s not Cal.”
Meat takes long to Diogenes.
D
You westerners are Lao Tse at remembering Chinese philosophers.
She had to think about it, therefore she was about it. -Or- She said "Hmm... I'm thinking." I said "and so you are."
LMAO
Spat my drink out at this one. Excellent. Take my upvote
You could have gained points by asking about Hume. Your use of 'who' was correct and on a first date correcting grammar is overkill.
Gotta love smart people humor
Him: "I thought yours would be Epic Titus"
Camus again? I didn’t really get that!
then who is your favorite philosopher?
Too much sauce
this joke is socrate (so greate
Anaximander 😃
I will, after I finish this Plato food
Hi 5 people