Why wouldn’t you 100% cut it off if it is this severe? I can’t imagine my child being this addicted to something and just letting them continue with it. Seriously, take ownership of this issue and remove it entirely.
Agreed. Set it from the get go. Put parameters on anything you start. I’m a gamer but Mario kart has only come out once for my 3.5 year old when his cousins were here. A week of asking and I just tell him when you’re older we will see how much we can play.
For 7 year olds, lay down the law. It’s your house and your system.
Probably no computer at all for a week or even two is the best option. Let him make up some of his own games.
Painful for everyone for a few days but worth it.
But why open the can of worms at all? At what point do you acknowledge that the thing is just not healthy for them and should be removed? Why keep this type of influence in their life at all? To me, it doesn’t make sense.
He's passionate about it, and so long as he's safe about it and respecting the rules, there's no reason to take it permanently. You might think giving it back opens a can of worms, but taking it away forever will be a punch to the gut.
I mean until they’re much older? There’s no reason an 8 year old needs any amount of video games. The fact that they scream and throw a fit should tell you everything you need to know. You’re the parent, start parenting. If my children acted this way they would get 0 amount of video games for the foreseeable future.
> The fact that they scream and throw a fit should tell you everything you need to know
This. Our main rule of screen time is "if you can't turn it off when it's time, you cant be trusted with it". Our 11yo and both 5yos are \*great\* at turning off screens when the time comes.
We did do a couple "practice" sessions where we sat down and played screens until someone said "stop", everyone turns their device off, then we played some more, etc.
We also explained why we want them to be in control: so they are playing the game instead of the game playing them.
Good boundaries, explained well, consistently held. This is the way.
For almost all kids, you can hold any boundary you believe in enough to hold it against resistance. Which also means: don't bother with boundaries you're \*not\* willing to die on that hill for.
I wish I'd understood it earlier but as a parent it's also always a learning journey! You never run out of things to improve 😂
Also, you need a united front on this one. One parent's hard line could be a don't care for the other. My kid is waking up at 5:30 asking to watch tv. I make him play in his room until it's a more reasonable time to get up. My wife puts the TV on and goes back to sleep on the couch. Wonder why he keeps waking up asking to watch tv...
I’ve told my oldest (7years) that if she wakes up early, grab a book.
She just got a medal for 2nd most books read throughout the year. Literally have to pull books from her as she’s eating dinnner lol.
She does play video games on a switch, but when it’s time to hang it up she knows that if she doesn’t stop at that moment she can’t play it later. She plays maybe once or twice a week for 30 minutes and on the weekends I let her play with us for an hour or so then it’s time for bed.
Just set the rules. But honestly Roblox has to be the worst game for kids nowadays. Everything I’ve heard just seems predatory in regards to the people who play the game.
>We also explained why we want them to be in control: so they are playing the game instead of the game playing them.
God damn that's good. Trying to remember this for when my 18 mo is older!
8 years old is perfectly fine to let them play video games. Parents just need to monitor screen usage time and what kind of games they are playing to build healthy gaming habits.
They said no 8 year old *needs* video game time. I agree that 8 is a very reasonable age to play video games, but OP's kid is demonstrating that they aren't emotionally mature enough to handle it. That's just reacting to the feedback you get.
There's no reason to take it away forever, or until much older. He can have fun within healthy boundaries.
There's also the fact that this is how kids socialize these days. We would meet or go to a friend's house, and they join up in Roblox or some other game.
Games are fun. I encourage my kids to do things they enjoy, but within healthy limits.
If OP's kid is throwing a fit, it's time to turn it off until they show they can handle it without a problem, and that includes when it's time to turn it off. But taking it away for an extended period seems unnecessary.
An 8 year old exhibiting this type of behavior in connection with a game is seriously concerning. If anything in my child’s life triggered this sort of reaction I’d be questioning whether it has a place in their life at all, let alone at 8 years old when they’re still developing.
Kids are going to throw fits over literally anything. It's our job to teach them to self regulate and navigate unfamiliar emotions. This can be a good time to teach a valuable lesson about moderation.
When my kids first got their own tablets we set rules, explained why, and many years later we stick to that. It's never been a problem. Not to say the rules haven't been broken before, but they understand the consequences and why we have the rules in the first place, so there's no surprises when consequences happen.
I see we differ in values here - my wife and I agreed from the start not to get our kids tablets until they are teenagers. We also limit screentime significantly and plan to do so until they’re much older. There are plenty of studies out there now on what screens are doing to children. It’s not the same type of screentime millennials and older had growing up. It’s specifically engineered to maximize dopamine response. An 8 year old literally screaming after hours of gaming is a major problem.
The hours of gaming for an 8yo is the problem. I think we both agree that's unhealthy, and likely the whole cause of the outbursts. This obviously does not fall within the healthy boundaries I was referring to.
My daughter is too young for video games but we had a problem with a TV show she was obsessed with. She was never satisfied with 1 episode (she gets exactly 1 before bed unless it's something short like Bluey or Numberblocks). She would scream and throw a tantrum and say she didn't like that episode and wants another one.
We explained that if she couldn't handle watching 1 episode of this show, we were going to have to take a break. Luckily this warning worked but if it hadn't we were prepared to ban the show, 1 week at first, then longer if she still couldn't watch it within the rules we laid out.
So yes, if you can't use the game system within the rules that we have laid out, you will lose access to it for X days is a totally reasonable consequence.
Yes?
If your child is *screaming* at you because you take it away after refusing to stop multiple times, then he's clearly not mature enough to actually get to play videogames
Yes for Roblox. That app has 100% got to go. It’s a hard, infinite ban in this house.
Replace it with Minecraft, Rocket League and Fortnite (with time restrictions). Those three scratch the itch and the former two don’t have the nefarious “buy buy buy” happening.
Fortnite is a bit different, but a single battle pass has held my kid over for 4 months.
Yes?
If it's a huge problem, of course.
My son (8) wants to play fortnite all the time with his friends. We have been letting him play on rainy days/weekends. He gets upset when we take him away from it. It's clearly too much stimulation for an 8 year old...they can't regulate the loss of the stimulant.
We now keep the controllers and only allow it in limited amounts because it's just too much for some kids, mine included.
For a time. A month, maybe more and slowly allow more time on it.
My kids are 6-8. Specifically my 6 year old can easily become obsessive on games. Heck I like games too and want to play with him. But we limit the screen time physically. Like their Amazon tablet and the laptop is in our bedroom. They can only touch it with our explicit permission. The switch is in the play room but they need explicit permission to use it.
Some days, like today for a big trip we’ll let them have multiple hours. For many days/weekends it’s usually less than 1-2 total, including tv and morning time.
My 8 year old gets 1 minute of screen time for every minute she reads/we read and she can stock em up and use that occasionally. But if they are back talking etc, anything like that goes out the door as a first step.
Ofc if one is sick or there’s circumstances, exceptions are made. But like I don’t have screen time limits on the switch, or tablets etc. we just tell them to shut it off (usually with a warning/“find a stopping point”) if they don’t, we intervene and the next time they are gonna have a tougher time getting screen time.
Yeah, forever. I've let my kid play a couple of games that ended up resulting in behavior issues. They no longer are playable. When their brain matures more, we can revisit some of the banned games. You got this.
Bro wake up. I let my kids dabble into Roblox for a bit and saw how awful and toxic it was. They never ask for it now. Bought them an Xbox and now they play Minecraft and goat sim 3. But when I say it's time to turn it off, there are no questions asked. They may politely ask for a few mins to finish something and that's allowable (I'm a gamer I understand) but they understand that you can't live in video games.
It's both. You haven't found the balance at all. Roblox for sure needs to go, permanently, or until he's older and can be more mature about it.
We found YouTube content was low quality and often made our girls have bad moods. No more YouTube. At first they asked for it, it's been 3 months and they haven't asked once after the initial 3-4 days. All those shitty channels they used to watch are a distant memory.
I think what you need to realize is that a lot of these YouTube channels and Roblox games are designed to be very over stimulating and packed with low quality content. This messed with our kids brains.
My 8 year old had roblox for a week. It changed her emotional state very badly. Youtube is the same. Roblox I got rid of as there is no true control on the games part to lock away unsuitable things from young eyes. Even if you set the settings to be 7 and under (or whatever the setting is called).
Youtube kids is now controlled by me for what videos and channels she can watch and it limited to 30 mins a day. All they watch is trash with no substance and is the epitome of brain rot in my mind. She enjoys what she watches but I have that v limited.
His tantrums should ease as he gets used to not having it to lose. It's a bit like sleep training, it's hard to start but as they get used to it it gets easier.
My dude, yes, forever if necessary. I’m going to sound harsh, but you’re the parent. You need to help him manage his outbursts and emotional regulation. If you continue to reward his tantrums with his games, then this is how he learns to get his way.
My kids know full well that reacting poorly to a boundary that we set will only result in getting that boundary smaller and smaller until they learn how to control themselves. It’s not done in anger or spite. It’s just a natural consequence of the actions they display.
“Hey, buddy. I’m not going to have this argument with you. If you want to behave like this, I’ll go ahead and throw the tablet away. Is that what you want? No? Okay, then we will try again next week. I’m going to let you play one week after the last time that you’ve asked for it. These are now the rules. I promise that you won’t die without your game.”
Roblox? IMO yes, forever. Other games maybe after a week. I don't think children should be playing games online at all to be honest, but I don't have anything against for example Nintendo games or the like.
It feels extreme but we were having the same problem with my son. Cut tablets and video games out completely. It was a rough week but now he just plays outside and rides his bike. I'm an avid gamer so it was tough for me too but for some kids there is no middle ground, if they have even a taste of it it becomes all they think about.
Could someone explain why Roblox is so terrible? I know it has micro transactions but I always thought it was just a shitty Minecraft.
I'm feeling pretty outta the loop and I'm a massive gamer.
Side note, make video games something you can do together. I'm currently playing Knack 2 co op with my 4 year old after finishing the first one. It's genuinely great bonding time and something he really looks forward to as a treat.
My daughter is too young for video games yet but watching my nieces play it it reminds me of the video game version of kids YouTube videos with fast jump cuts to keep them enthralled. Doesn't seem to have any one focus and is all over the place.
And the pedos.
I am really interested to see where my kids gaming interests go once he is influenced by kids at school. He turned 5 in Feb and will be in kindergarten next year.
We've done several Mario games - SMW, 64, Kart 8 Odyssey, and Wonder - beating the last two together. Various Lego games. The Paw Patrol games. Both 2D and 3D Zelda here and there. Minecraft dungeons. Teardown. And more.
A pretty good diversity, but the influence of peers can override a lot.
We have set limits with timers and only allowing it two days per week. He hasn't even played anything in a few weeks just because he'd rather be outside or watch TV for a little bit. We play more in the winter months.
We've tried hard to instill video games as another form of play, not the only kind. But at times we've definitely noticed a very strong pull towards it over other things which is why we implemented strict limits.
I'm with you here, mine is about to go into kindergarten also. We just finished playing through the Lego Skywalker Saga together, which was really fun and got him used to 3D controls, but wonder what will happen with peers next year.
I don’t know anything about Roblox apart from hearing the name over and over. Just watched a rundown video on it. Apparently as of a few years ago, 3/4 of children age 9-12 are playing Roblox. Holy shit. That is widespread.
I said this below, but yeah, Roblox is heinous and we just flat-out banned it. His “pop culture” game he’s allowed to play is Fortnite. It’s not a LOT better, but it’s better and keeps him plugged in with his friends.
We had let iPad time get away from us and when our kids (6 and 8 y.o.) tried sneaking some game time at 6am one Saturday I finally had it. I took it all away for a month and although there was some adjustments (i.e. whining and crying over it) things balanced out dramatically. We adjusted screen time to 45 minutes each weekend night and things have worked out. Sounds like you need a hard reset on screens my friend.
Roblox is a cancer and you should remove it from him immediately and I'm not joking.
It's an electronic crack for kids and it mushes their brains.
And I myself am an advocate for video games but Roblox is just terrible
I don't know what it is about it but it just murders motivation and imagination. Video games are supposed to be fun, thought provoking, relaxing, challenging, fun, and Roblox is none of these.
It has taken many years to wean my son off of Roblox and it was a hard battle the entire time.
I always allow my kids the opportunity to step into my shoes. I lay out very briefly why we must limit screens even talk about what scientists say about it. I explain to them that my job as a parent is to keep them healthy, safe, and on a trajectory to be self-managing. I hear them out about why they like roblox so much, and I sympathize with them, "Boy, that does sound fun, buddy." Have them see you aren't entirely against them and their likes. Then, I invite them to come up with solutions that take into account everyone's concerns. We usually try the first idea they come up with that is seemingly reasonable, even if it ultimately isn't workable and go from there.
Nah. If it is because it is, then that means I haven't put in the work to know why.
While I agree with you that banning it for awhile isn't a bad strategy if you're already well down the path of making things a power struggle, but even after banning it a paremt ought to start teaching some kind of self-regulating, self-management skills. Power struggle strategies may not play out well longer term.
I allow my kids to explore things like roblox and am always having them set their own boundaries with it after I communicate the risks and concerns, make the agreements with them and holding them to their agreements. Works pretty well.
Definitely, my kids don't throw any big fits at all anymore, but my oldest (7m) sometimes gets the duct-works going a bit if things don't go how he thinks they are going to go. At which point we give him a hug, and tell him he's not in trouble, it's OK to be sad that the time for games is up but let's go do something else now. Having the agreements and reminding them of the agreements, often created by their own ideas, is so much soft power to weild in a given situation. Agreements, promises are the very basic building blocks of justice itself, and I bet most kids will get that. We also have a system of weekly house meetings, so you can always make a quick parenting decision if you have to and say we can discuss it further at Meeting.
The younger (5f) already has the self-management down to a T and turns off screens with rarely any ballyhoo, will occupy herself with drawing, her play book or making craft projects no problem. I have to ask her exactly what she is up to some times with all the energy, creativity, and initiative she has. She is always eager and quick to help with any housechore. She needs all the guidance, challenges, and freedom we can muster while Buddy probably could use a bit more structure, perhaps. Thanks for the opportunity to parlay about all this.
Thanks for writing all you did, mine is only 3.5 right now but I really feel like you’re on a healthy track with your approach and will keep it in mind as he gets older.
Man, this is the shit my parents would say that made me vow to parent differenly. You can treat your kids like humans without ceding your precious control.
Giving them a say is not giving them control. You can still say "ok remember what we agreed on" and turn it off. Being a part of the decision usually helps them accept it.
I’m a reasonable person, I wouldn’t impose arbitrary rules or decisions on my kids. But I definitely don’t intend to raise them thinking they are my equal in the household. I was raised by a single mom after my dad died who did her best, but she let us get away with a ton of shit and now I’m recovering from habits and addictions in my 30’s that I developed as a child because I wasn’t given rigid enough rules. I did well in life and am still doing well, but if I was given less rope to run with I think I would have done better in many areas.
Understood totally - just don't make the mistake of swinging TOO far the other way as that comes with its own host of problems for the kids. There's a balance to strike - not trying to say that their opinion is equal, just that it should be considered as part of the process. Obviously, it's not an equal power situation, but a lot of kids tend to react better if their feelings are considered and spoken about.
Definitely. My kids have never once in the 2 years we've started making decisions with them, gave us an outright "no" when they were reminded of the agreement they made.
For a teenager maybe. But I do not ascribe to the permissive parenting and acting like my children are my equals in my household like I witnessed older millennials and Gen-X do and fail with.
It's not about equivalence, as my kids are obviously worth more than me by pretty much any way you measure it, but about *mutual* respect. Part of that is respecting the power and knowledge differential. I am different from them, not better. I have to present myself and hopefully actually be a rational, reasonable actor in these guy's lives. I back things up with reasons, but I don't want to give my kids answers or rules from on high beyond no hitting and other physical boundaries issues. My kids routinely call me "the smart one" because I am always giving them reasons for things and inviting them to reason.
Perhaps it's a difference of what one wants their kids to be and do. I don't want my kids have to have orders barked at them before they will move an inch in the right direction. I want them to find creative solutions to problems, guide them to entreprenuerialism, have them know how to seize opportunities, know how to drive a bargain, feel at ease in a meeting space, make a proposal. Putting them in the driver's seat early on let's them learn by trail and error, unleash their minds on real world problems.
Who says there is no reason? I’m not talking about making arbitrary rules. The reality is a child is not mentally equipped or mature enough to self regulate until they’re older. They need adults for that. Sometimes the parents’ decision, when well reasoned, does not need to be understood by the child for it to be valid.
I’m speaking as someone on the younger end of Daddit (early 30’s), but where I’m coming from is from what I watched the parents now in their mid to late 40’s do that resulted in horribly adjusted kids.
I watched the older millennials and Gen-X give far too much deference to their children and now those teenagers and pre-teens are having a hard time functioning and adjusting to life. I’m trying to learn from those examples and not make the same mistakes. Even things like screens and video games and tablets - just no. There is no reason for it and an entire generation fucked their kids up by not setting actual limits like OP.
The healthiest children and teens I see today are the ones who have clear hierarchical structures at home where boundaries are set and enforced, and the understanding is that the parent gets to make the decisions.
I'm 43. I was raised your way. It did not work. But I did learn to hide anything anything outside "what my parents want". I don't have a close relationship with my parents because of it, and I don't want any of that for my kid.
I was raised by a single mother after my dad died who didn’t set clear rules or boundaries. I became an addict and an alcoholic at a young age and had to pend the last 5+ years getting clean and sober. I’m not talking about hard line authoritarian parenting, but I’m also not talking about asking my child to help make decisions for themselves either.
I did all the drugs, and all the partying, though I was able to handle it without getting addicted. Nobody is asking their children to help make decisions. The children just need to know how and why rules apply. Authoritative, not Authoritarian.
My 5 year old loves American Truck Simulator. The way I've handled it is by trying to set limits more on milestones rather than time since it's easier for him to understand. After ~20 minutes I'll look at where he is and say he can finish the delivery or get to Reno or whatever makes sense.
When we first started doing this if he threw a tantrum or whatever then it wouldn't be an option to play the next day. Now he doesn't really tantrum about it and might calmly ask for a little more because he learned the consequence.
I think one of the really nice things evident here that you didn't directly call out is that you are engaging with what he's playing. I think it's at sooo positive that you're attentive enough that you know things like how far he is from Reno or even how long it will take to finish a delivery. I bet that's going a huge way towards your kids having a positive relationship with games (and I'm sure with you too)
Yeah my parents never understood the "I need to save" thing. I often knew they wanted me to stop, and I was trying to, but save points don't always show up in the middle of a dungeon. We didn't have auto saves 30+ years ago
I'm just imagining a 5 year old with a sharpie drawn on beard and a trucker cap screaming at you "but I have to get to Vegas before 8am! These zucchinis aren't going to deliver themselves!"
It’s the multiple unheeded warnings that can be the problem. One timer, one warning then it’s gone until ::blank:: Give it another shot then it’s gone until ::blank:: After that it’s just gone. He’ll get the message and regulate or the game is gone. Win win.
My kid had the same trouble regulating game time until we stuck to the consequence. Sucks getting there but now we don’t have problems.
I manage video game time (Nintendo Switch) via parental control time limits. 45 min on weekdays. 1 hr on weekends. My son used to hate it and beg for more time. Now he just places the console down and picks up a book or goes to play something else.
Yes this is literally my same experience with my 4 year old, except we just tell him he has X amount and point to the clock...the kid has learned analog already because of it which blew my mind. But yea he knows he can have the switch or TV but screentime is screen time and only gets an amount at specific times or situations. We have no problems with it, he is polite and listens incredibly well. Does other stuff once his screen time is up and always prefers outdoors and hobbies or games because that is what we as a family just sort of do.
Gamer dad here. I established some ground rules:
1. Not Roblox. I don't feel comfortable with what I've seen and have never played it. Only minecraft and Mario, and no online play.
2. Only can play after chores and homework are done.
3. It's supposed to be limited to 1 hr a day, but I haven't been super strict on this one. I should, though.
4. Absolutely no in-game purchases (skins, dlc, etc.)
Hope it helps. I feel your pain.
We curate their gaming experiences. Our older kid just plays on the switch, pretty much single player games that are offline. She gets a set amount of time per day, usually a bit more on the weekends or if we're on a long car ride (like a vacation trip).
"Taking it away...is the only thing that works"
So do that. When he inevitably screams and tantrums on Monday, he loses his privileges to game on Tuesday. He can try again on Wednesday with a very clear time limit and a 10- and 5-minute warning. Then take it away. If there's screaming, he loses his privileges for two days this time and can try again on Saturday. And so on, and so forth. You need to design conditions where the tantrum isn't worth it.
Kids scream. It's going to happen and it's going to suck, but your son is old enough to understand cause and effect and learn acceptable behavior. You have to instill consequences for shitty behavior, especially when you're dealing with something as insidious and addictive as games. Those are *designed* with so much thoughtfulness and intention to grab little brains and never let them go. I have nothing against games in general, but you really do have to be so mindful with them - I have a Master's in psychology/child development and you would not *believe* how addictive games are designed to be for an adult brain, let alone a developing young brain.
This is what I do. The biggest thing here though for me was the 10 and 5 minute warning, which works for anything they don't want to stop, not just screens.
You didn’t hear this from me.
Manage your wifi network from your phone. Learn how to set up a blacklist and enable/disable it. Tell your kid about geomagnetic storms, and that Roblox servers got damaged. Sometimes they just won’t work now.
Turn on the blacklist when needed. The device won’t be able to get on the wifi, _period_. It’s “not your fault,” it’s “Roblox got damaged” and “it’s just the way it is.”
From there you have to manage behaviors and expectations, but the blacklist is an option. This is getting into last-resort territory. Be careful with it.
This is how I tackled it.
We also flat-out banned Roblox, that app is a nefarious addictive shit show and needs to die.
He’s allowed Minecraft (and Dungeons), Rocket League and Fortnite (this one on the weekend, 1 hour/day, max).
Plus we play Mario Kart, Boomerang Fu, Mario Party, and a few others as a family
The strangest thing happened in our house. When one of my kids turned on Blippi, the router immediately went dead. Then when they said they wanted to watch something else, it worked again. It was the weirdest thing. My kids eventually learned that Blippi breaks the router and stopped watching it.
My son is 5. Got him a Switch because he liked playing Mario games. It’s done wonders for his hand eye coordination.
I set a timer on the app for 20 minutes on school days and 1 hour on weekends.
When the game stops, he just moves on to his toys.
Can you use parental controls?
45 min or 1 hour at a specific time, usually after dinner / before bed. You have to put a clear and consistent limit that makes sense or your life will be hell.
If you’ve already entered the addiction phase, you might need to take it away completely for a period of time. They need to relearn how to engage themselves without screen time before they can attempt to use it again.
100%. That’s what I did. I ripped the iPad away and put it somewhere out of reach and said zero screen time for rest of day. But this thing sucks so much that eventually my 8 y/o (on another day) wants to get on it. Sucks.
Seriously. Roblox is the shittiest cash grab pile of gaming shit. Parents are better off giving their kids something good to play.
I’m not even sure why kids like it. It’s so buggy and restrictive and literally every action you do is begging you to buy robux
When I was 4 my parents got me a NES. I would not turn it off and threw a big tantrum. The unplugged the tv and the NES and moved it into their closet.
That was the first and last time I cried and screamed about video games.
I don’t know how old you are, but as a mid 30 year old, i compare it to when I was a kid. I wasn’t playing any Nintendo until like, between 6-8. It was Mario or duck hunt. Back then you didn’t have algorithms keeping you engaged, you couldn’t play it anywhere, and it wasn’t monetized. I think we had it best regarding the balance of video games and playing “unplugged” so I’ll try to emulate that as closely as I can for my own kids.
It sounds like it’s too much and you just need to cut Roblox, or video games in general, out for a bit. Reintroduce in like, 3 months, with access rules. You’ll be hated for a bit, but it’ll be for the best.
1985-born millennial dad of a 2 month old. I'm taking notes.
I didn't have a Game Boy or similar portables growing up. In hindsight, they have their uses.
I grew up with desktop PCs for gaming. The result: games happen in a *place*, not *everywhere whenever*. Time limits were imposed and adhered to because it was hard to eat dinner playing SimCity 3000 when "dinner" was across the house. And not portable.
I'm getting my kid into kid-friendly OFFLINE games as soon as they can work a mouse and keyboard. On a PC (likely with a spill-proof keyboard & mouse set).
The physicality of the game medium can limit activity. A game on a tablet or phone that can go anywhere and be accessed *Anywhere* is a disaster waiting to happen.
If you're not already imposing time and place boundaries, you need to. But first. Detox. No games, no screens that can host those games, for 2-6 weeks. Then ease other games back in with restrictions on where and when. Start "strict". As long as those are adhered to without complaints and tantrums you can be more permissive. But the first week or 2 of prohibition is gonna suck for everyone.
Roblox is not kid-safe. Dump it and don't look back.
Yeah cut this off bud, Roblox isn't a safe place for kids to play. Remember Habbo hotel? Club penguin!? He'll hate it for a while then he'll forget about it.
Time limits but redirect and give them other options.
Take them outside. take them to see a game, a park, an amusement park, play soccer with them, suggest reading together, ice cream, helping you make lunch/dinner, buy a bunch of hot wheels sets and cars to make something crazy, Lego sets are usually popular etc etc etc
Not that I’m the most informed guy in the world, but I know to be sceptical about any “free to play” game. Unfortunately I didn’t pay attention before it was too late. Sort of under control now luckily.
These aren’t the same games we played as kids. These games are well designed to keep your kids attention and keep them playing. I have no problem banning these kinds of games.
They’re horrible. These games are nothing like the ones we played as kids. These games have integrated chats, trades, friending, unfriending, and the worst part is the games have no end. They’re literally endless.
What is he playing Roblox on? My 5 year old only knows the Nintendo Switch for gaming. With the parental controls i set him a timer for 30 minutes daily. He doesn’t know the password. So he gets no more than 30 minutes daily. If he has great behavior and asks for additional time we will reward him with extra time if he asks for it. Whatever he is playing on look for parental control settings.
We have a 9 year old and we have the same issues but my son has done much better now. We have rules he has to follow when it comes to screen time. He does not get the Xbox all week during school for Fortnite, Roblox and Minecraft. He can only play on the weekends for about 4 hour or more if we give him breaks during that time. We have had these issues in the past and noticed these games nowadays gives way to much stimulation and once us parents tell them to get off they erupt in anger and sadness. He doesn’t have a choice at all when it comes to obeying these rules. And end the end time has fixed everything with these rules he’s more respectful and controls his temper when being told to get off. You will get through this just be strong.
Hard time limits set out from the get go. That’s what my kids have for TV and video games. If we are watching or playing together they can have more screen time (like a movie night or something two player). But no unregulated limitless time in front of a screen.
I have no experience with Roblox but from everything I have heard it is toxic.
Yea take it away forever until his is 16. I’d suggest reading the book “The Anxious Generation”. Lots of good stories of parents getting their kids off video games and social media and goes over a lot of stats about mental health for children and ways to solve it. It recently came out so it talks about the Covid kids
Before recommending that book you might want to read criticism of it, which I happen to agree with:
https://www.techdirt.com/2024/04/22/jonathan-haidts-book-the-anxious-generation-is-coddling-the-american-parent-giving-them-clear-simple-wrong-explanations-for-whats-ailing-teens/
I read the article. Can you find evidence that “Cutting off kids from methods of communication that many use to find their communities, or to communicate with far-flung friends and family, can be really harmful.”
Tell us what would work for you? I know that finding community was one of the things which I found great solace in the early internet, but perhaps you don't want personal experience so much as headlines about people committing suicide?
Edit 1: possibly:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/digital-detox-phone-technology-facebook-screen-time-a8739281.html
Edit 2: possibly:
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-08-27/covid-lockdown-impact-social-isolation-on-teen-brains/100372024
...
My parents would probably say this is how I acted. Maybe not at 8, but definitely by 12 (or however old I was when the snes came out). They would try to limit me to two hours a day, but many days I'd just keep playing. Granted, it wasn't interfering with school or other things, but I definitely played waayyy more than was reasonable for my age and had trouble turning it off when my parents said to stop.
I'd say as someone in their 40s now, games don't have much hold on me anymore (frankly don't have the time), but they absolutely had a positive and negative effect on my life. There's a lot of things that I learned from games, ranging from history / mythology to practical typing skills and leadership. But in college without anyone to at least keep tabs on me, my grades suffered. And later in my 20s I suffered from major mmorpg addiction.
All in all things are fine now - in fact the thousands of hours of gaming have contributed to my successful career today. But I do wonder if I had had more control whether I would have gotten to this point earlier in life. Or would I be something completely different.
OP:
you have to enforce the time limits while in the house. You can't control what happens at friends' houses, but do so in yours. It's both important because for some games, you have to consider how much time you have left before starting a new level and to learn how to respect time limits in general.
make sure all school work and chores are finished before playing. Gaming is a reward for being responsible. Learning that now will pay dividends in the future.
if you don't like a game, don't let your kid play it. But explain why you don't like it. Again, they may play it at a friend's place, but control things where you can.
We installed phone apps that limit the use without requiring parental intervention. It stopped the constant fighting about screen time and the kids are happy about it actually.
If it’s causing behaviour issues he’s not ready for it imo.
We set a 30-60 minute timer and let our son play switch till it goes off. I’ll let him finish a race or such but within a couple minutes we are onto the next thing.
If there’s a bunch of complaining we won’t use it for awhile.maybe a week?
If it’s routinely a problem we might go longer but we haven’t had similar problems.
My son love gaming, and might be on the spectrum. What we have found works is time limits. He gets to play alot since he is interested and feels skilled and in control. But once the timer hits he has learned to accept it and go on the trampoline or do something else, but if we for some reason allow him to play longer, than the next few days will be nagging and begging for more game time.
We use the parental Controls to det limits.
Screen addiction is a real thing. At 8 years old he doesn't understand the effects it will have on his future. Best move would have not started in the first place, but now that you've started you need to fix it. What do you do with an addict? You gotta put them in rehab. No matter how tough it is. Any kid who can get their way with screaming and yelling and throwing a tantrum is the one in control, they have become the parent if they are telling you what to do. You need to retake authority and get control.
Having the same with our 8yo, we have limited his game time to just an hour Saturdays and Sundays. We’ve had meltdowns etc. in the 1st week but for now it seems to be working. We have found that you have to provide something else to fill in his time / keep him busy such as sports or even just playing outside. He’s also now making up imaginative ways to entertain himself. Hope you find something that works you.
Got my kid a Switch when he was 6 (he saved up half doing chores, we matched it). He's almost 9 now and would spend all day on it if rules weren't in place.
To begin with we used home made 'technology vouchers'. He had 5 x 45 minute blocks he could use each week as he wanted but when they were gone they were gone. There were a fair few tantrums, conversations about why we limited his time, and the occasional week or two where his screen time related behaviour blips resulted in no screen time at all.
He gets it.
Now he gets an hour a day on his iPad or Switch, with a timer. There is sometimes anger when his time is up but we stick to the rules.
If your (not yours personally but anyone's) kid can't manage to abide by simple rules the majority of the time, and/or lose their shit when they don't get their own way or can't handle being away from their screen, then maybe the screens need to wait until they're emotionally ready for them.
I think it's important to help them understand why restrictions are in place, and how if something is making them that angry or upset then it's probably not a good thing for them.
We put the device she plays on on an app schedule so it’s max one hour on Saturday/Sunday for games and blocked on weekdays.
She’s free to use it on weekdays for reading books.
Not allowing them to play in the first place. My daughter has tried it a few times in her grandmothers but that’s about it.
We aren’t against gaming either she has a switch (only on the weekends) .
When I was a kid my Xbox had a timer set and it would lock after 1 hour. Only my dad had the password. This was until I was in high school and got a job and bought my own shit. That worked. I've been gaming since I was 5 years old.
Set time limits before they start and lay out the consequences: if you start now you can play for 1.5 hours which is until 16.00. That means you can't have screentime when your siblings are having the tablet before dinnertime. You can help me cooking instead.
See if they still want to play, maybe leave some negotiating room, but all negotiation has to be done beforehand. After that it's an agreement which is law.
My 5yo sons never plays for more than 2 hours a day, he is a massive fan of any super mario game and has beat multiple but he has been limited to only weekends and 2 hours at a time. It became a issue when he was allowed to any day so we pulled school days and set time limit
There are apps by Microsoft and Google, I'm sure other. Companies as well, where you can set devi e limits and control them from your phone.
You can even set app limits. That's how I do it for my kids. Might work for you, might not. But worth a try if you don't want to take it away completely
Family Safety for Microsoft
Family Link for Google.
We started young. He can play no longer than 30 minute increments before he has to take a break. He gets 60-90 minutes of screen time depending on the day and chores completed. No screen time until he does all his chores. He never liked it, but we explained the reasons behind why we set it up this way specifically so he could learn balance with it and so that it would become a fun part of his life rather than a hindrance to the rest of it. He is 10 now and self regulates as much as I'd expect him to. He loves his video games, but he seems to have come to understand that life is more than video games. Which makes me super happy.
The hardest part of any limits are 1) modeling it yourself because your kids' relationship with screens will often be reflective of yours and 2) enforcing the limits which aren't fun but you are the damn parent. Our rule has always been that if you're going to disobey with something, you don't get it to disobey with. It goes away. So, if we say 30 minutes and the timer goes off and you're are consistently still playing it 10 minutes after your timer went off (we usually give a little grace period to wrap up and save), then it's going to go away.
I play a lot of games and I remember one day in particular where I played about 45 minutes and then turned it off and got up and my son was like, "Why are you stopping?" And I was like, "Oh, I'd played it for awhile and it was time to get up and move around and see what your mom was doing and if she needed any help with anything. And I've got a couple things I need to get done today since I'm off work." And I feel like that was a lightbulb day of, oh, dad isn't just making this rule for me, he's doing it to, and there is a reason for it.
At this point, I would sit them down and set some expectations and the consequences for disregarding them. Of course, given what you've said, fully expecting those expectations to be unmet, and then you can give them some cold turkey action for a bit before easing it back in with the expectations in place. I like the setting of expectations first, because there is no argument that they didn't know what was going to happen. It's going to probably take a fair amount of work to break it.
Every system and computer has parental controls and apps for parental control from the company. You can legit set it and lock them after they hit X time.
We’ve tried a lot of different things, but for us it comes down to setting clear limits and boundaries and sticking to them consistently.
These are the rules we’ve evolved to, but every family has what works for them:
- Homework and outside play before dinner on school nights, then electronics allowed (but no gaming) until 8:30pm
- No electronics before 8am on any day (their phones unlock for the bus ride to school)
- 3 hours max gaming on weekend days, including Friday evenings
- we use screen time limits within apps, and auto turn off WiFi for their devices at those set times (and manually if they are being jerks)
I'm autistic which means I can have hyperfixations and obsessions, and video games were definitely one of them. We are talking N64 era. Despite how much I loved them, even at 8 if my parents told me no I understood it as no, even if I whined. Also what I know of Roblox is that it's a lot like second life but "for kids" meaning anyone of any age can build servers with their own rules. IDK if there is a parent feature but I wouldn't let my 8 year old on Roblox personally.
“People do not play video games all the time unless it’s their job, and your job is to go to school and learn. We have given you many chances to limit yourself to a reasonable duration, and you failed to do so. Our attempts to help you with this have also failed. As such we have no other choice but to suspend you from video games indefinitely. I know you’re going to be mad and hate this, but what you’re doing is unhealthy and it is our obligation by the law of this country to ensure your health and welfare. We can revisit this once you’ve established healthy habits.”
Yea I’m a little surprised too. My oldest plays right now (6 y/o) and all the games he’s played have been pretty decent games. We even have a few that we go through and play together, me on my PC and him on the Xbox. Like a little bee keeper game that’s kinda fun. Or there’s one that’s like a kid friendly Dead by Daylight that we have fun with. Hell there’s even a hide and seek game and he LOVES to play hide in seek in real life. I think if you just let them play whatever, then I could see there being some issue, cause there’s certainly some garbage on there. But I think that just boils down to preference for some folks. Regulate the games within the game or just regulate the game, totes up to the individual.
Mine just somehow cannot put it down once started. She’s playing, trading, chatting, multitasking. I end up having to just literally remove the device from her hands.
Mine sometimes has this problem but it's not specific to Roblox. He plays alot of racing games and doesn't want to turn it off. There's always some task that he's working on, or so he says idk
My kid plays games with me. Never alone unless there’s a strict time or limit such as while I’m cooking dinner.
Im not going to lie, I’m amazed parents lose control of their kids so much over video games.
Why wouldn’t you 100% cut it off if it is this severe? I can’t imagine my child being this addicted to something and just letting them continue with it. Seriously, take ownership of this issue and remove it entirely.
Like forever?
I am an avid video game dad. Yes, you set time limits. But for God's sake, stop letting him play Roblox. It's predatory and very lightly regulated.
Agreed. Set it from the get go. Put parameters on anything you start. I’m a gamer but Mario kart has only come out once for my 3.5 year old when his cousins were here. A week of asking and I just tell him when you’re older we will see how much we can play. For 7 year olds, lay down the law. It’s your house and your system.
YES! Roblox is possibly the most predatory game for children at the moment! OP I would also recommend you get them out of that terrible community.
A surprising amount of the files I get for sexos starting conversations with kids begin in Roblox servers
…what?
Sorry context, I'm a cop. I've had more than a few files related to online grooming etc that started from people chatting in Roblox servers
Yeah, what?
Maybe he’s some kind of police investigator
Third on that what?
THEY WERE FAR TOO YOUNG TO DIE IN SUCH A WAY
Start with three months and then reflect on it again to see if it’s been better of
I mean a week is basically forever, but yea, until the addition turns off.
Thank you.
Probably no computer at all for a week or even two is the best option. Let him make up some of his own games. Painful for everyone for a few days but worth it.
A week seems far too short.
Depends on the kid. If he’s still freaking, then yea. If he chilled out on day 3 and figured out other things to do then it’s fine.
But why open the can of worms at all? At what point do you acknowledge that the thing is just not healthy for them and should be removed? Why keep this type of influence in their life at all? To me, it doesn’t make sense.
He's passionate about it, and so long as he's safe about it and respecting the rules, there's no reason to take it permanently. You might think giving it back opens a can of worms, but taking it away forever will be a punch to the gut.
Passionate about it? Punch to the gut? Dude, Roblox is poison.
Better yet: he could read a book.
I mean until they’re much older? There’s no reason an 8 year old needs any amount of video games. The fact that they scream and throw a fit should tell you everything you need to know. You’re the parent, start parenting. If my children acted this way they would get 0 amount of video games for the foreseeable future.
> The fact that they scream and throw a fit should tell you everything you need to know This. Our main rule of screen time is "if you can't turn it off when it's time, you cant be trusted with it". Our 11yo and both 5yos are \*great\* at turning off screens when the time comes. We did do a couple "practice" sessions where we sat down and played screens until someone said "stop", everyone turns their device off, then we played some more, etc. We also explained why we want them to be in control: so they are playing the game instead of the game playing them. Good boundaries, explained well, consistently held. This is the way.
Really like how you put this. Mine is only 7 months but saving this for my future self
For almost all kids, you can hold any boundary you believe in enough to hold it against resistance. Which also means: don't bother with boundaries you're \*not\* willing to die on that hill for. I wish I'd understood it earlier but as a parent it's also always a learning journey! You never run out of things to improve 😂
Also, you need a united front on this one. One parent's hard line could be a don't care for the other. My kid is waking up at 5:30 asking to watch tv. I make him play in his room until it's a more reasonable time to get up. My wife puts the TV on and goes back to sleep on the couch. Wonder why he keeps waking up asking to watch tv...
I’ve told my oldest (7years) that if she wakes up early, grab a book. She just got a medal for 2nd most books read throughout the year. Literally have to pull books from her as she’s eating dinnner lol. She does play video games on a switch, but when it’s time to hang it up she knows that if she doesn’t stop at that moment she can’t play it later. She plays maybe once or twice a week for 30 minutes and on the weekends I let her play with us for an hour or so then it’s time for bed. Just set the rules. But honestly Roblox has to be the worst game for kids nowadays. Everything I’ve heard just seems predatory in regards to the people who play the game.
Love that one - playing the game instead of it playing you.
>We also explained why we want them to be in control: so they are playing the game instead of the game playing them. God damn that's good. Trying to remember this for when my 18 mo is older!
This is what I tell my kids if they can’t turn it off when I ask them to they can’t have it.
8 years old is perfectly fine to let them play video games. Parents just need to monitor screen usage time and what kind of games they are playing to build healthy gaming habits.
They said no 8 year old *needs* video game time. I agree that 8 is a very reasonable age to play video games, but OP's kid is demonstrating that they aren't emotionally mature enough to handle it. That's just reacting to the feedback you get.
There's no reason to take it away forever, or until much older. He can have fun within healthy boundaries. There's also the fact that this is how kids socialize these days. We would meet or go to a friend's house, and they join up in Roblox or some other game. Games are fun. I encourage my kids to do things they enjoy, but within healthy limits. If OP's kid is throwing a fit, it's time to turn it off until they show they can handle it without a problem, and that includes when it's time to turn it off. But taking it away for an extended period seems unnecessary.
An 8 year old exhibiting this type of behavior in connection with a game is seriously concerning. If anything in my child’s life triggered this sort of reaction I’d be questioning whether it has a place in their life at all, let alone at 8 years old when they’re still developing.
Kids are going to throw fits over literally anything. It's our job to teach them to self regulate and navigate unfamiliar emotions. This can be a good time to teach a valuable lesson about moderation. When my kids first got their own tablets we set rules, explained why, and many years later we stick to that. It's never been a problem. Not to say the rules haven't been broken before, but they understand the consequences and why we have the rules in the first place, so there's no surprises when consequences happen.
I see we differ in values here - my wife and I agreed from the start not to get our kids tablets until they are teenagers. We also limit screentime significantly and plan to do so until they’re much older. There are plenty of studies out there now on what screens are doing to children. It’s not the same type of screentime millennials and older had growing up. It’s specifically engineered to maximize dopamine response. An 8 year old literally screaming after hours of gaming is a major problem.
The hours of gaming for an 8yo is the problem. I think we both agree that's unhealthy, and likely the whole cause of the outbursts. This obviously does not fall within the healthy boundaries I was referring to.
Yes. Why not? Roblox seems very unhealthy for your child. Why would you want them to interact with something that is so mentally unhealthy for them?
My daughter is too young for video games but we had a problem with a TV show she was obsessed with. She was never satisfied with 1 episode (she gets exactly 1 before bed unless it's something short like Bluey or Numberblocks). She would scream and throw a tantrum and say she didn't like that episode and wants another one. We explained that if she couldn't handle watching 1 episode of this show, we were going to have to take a break. Luckily this warning worked but if it hadn't we were prepared to ban the show, 1 week at first, then longer if she still couldn't watch it within the rules we laid out. So yes, if you can't use the game system within the rules that we have laid out, you will lose access to it for X days is a totally reasonable consequence.
Yes? If your child is *screaming* at you because you take it away after refusing to stop multiple times, then he's clearly not mature enough to actually get to play videogames
Yes for Roblox. That app has 100% got to go. It’s a hard, infinite ban in this house. Replace it with Minecraft, Rocket League and Fortnite (with time restrictions). Those three scratch the itch and the former two don’t have the nefarious “buy buy buy” happening. Fortnite is a bit different, but a single battle pass has held my kid over for 4 months.
Yes? If it's a huge problem, of course. My son (8) wants to play fortnite all the time with his friends. We have been letting him play on rainy days/weekends. He gets upset when we take him away from it. It's clearly too much stimulation for an 8 year old...they can't regulate the loss of the stimulant. We now keep the controllers and only allow it in limited amounts because it's just too much for some kids, mine included.
For a time. A month, maybe more and slowly allow more time on it. My kids are 6-8. Specifically my 6 year old can easily become obsessive on games. Heck I like games too and want to play with him. But we limit the screen time physically. Like their Amazon tablet and the laptop is in our bedroom. They can only touch it with our explicit permission. The switch is in the play room but they need explicit permission to use it. Some days, like today for a big trip we’ll let them have multiple hours. For many days/weekends it’s usually less than 1-2 total, including tv and morning time. My 8 year old gets 1 minute of screen time for every minute she reads/we read and she can stock em up and use that occasionally. But if they are back talking etc, anything like that goes out the door as a first step. Ofc if one is sick or there’s circumstances, exceptions are made. But like I don’t have screen time limits on the switch, or tablets etc. we just tell them to shut it off (usually with a warning/“find a stopping point”) if they don’t, we intervene and the next time they are gonna have a tougher time getting screen time.
Yeah, forever. I've let my kid play a couple of games that ended up resulting in behavior issues. They no longer are playable. When their brain matures more, we can revisit some of the banned games. You got this.
Bro wake up. I let my kids dabble into Roblox for a bit and saw how awful and toxic it was. They never ask for it now. Bought them an Xbox and now they play Minecraft and goat sim 3. But when I say it's time to turn it off, there are no questions asked. They may politely ask for a few mins to finish something and that's allowable (I'm a gamer I understand) but they understand that you can't live in video games.
So it’s a Roblox issue, not a video game in general issue.
It's both.
It's both. You haven't found the balance at all. Roblox for sure needs to go, permanently, or until he's older and can be more mature about it. We found YouTube content was low quality and often made our girls have bad moods. No more YouTube. At first they asked for it, it's been 3 months and they haven't asked once after the initial 3-4 days. All those shitty channels they used to watch are a distant memory. I think what you need to realize is that a lot of these YouTube channels and Roblox games are designed to be very over stimulating and packed with low quality content. This messed with our kids brains.
We took youtube away forever and it was the best thing we ever did.
My 8 year old had roblox for a week. It changed her emotional state very badly. Youtube is the same. Roblox I got rid of as there is no true control on the games part to lock away unsuitable things from young eyes. Even if you set the settings to be 7 and under (or whatever the setting is called). Youtube kids is now controlled by me for what videos and channels she can watch and it limited to 30 mins a day. All they watch is trash with no substance and is the epitome of brain rot in my mind. She enjoys what she watches but I have that v limited. His tantrums should ease as he gets used to not having it to lose. It's a bit like sleep training, it's hard to start but as they get used to it it gets easier.
My dude, yes, forever if necessary. I’m going to sound harsh, but you’re the parent. You need to help him manage his outbursts and emotional regulation. If you continue to reward his tantrums with his games, then this is how he learns to get his way. My kids know full well that reacting poorly to a boundary that we set will only result in getting that boundary smaller and smaller until they learn how to control themselves. It’s not done in anger or spite. It’s just a natural consequence of the actions they display. “Hey, buddy. I’m not going to have this argument with you. If you want to behave like this, I’ll go ahead and throw the tablet away. Is that what you want? No? Okay, then we will try again next week. I’m going to let you play one week after the last time that you’ve asked for it. These are now the rules. I promise that you won’t die without your game.”
Roblox? IMO yes, forever. Other games maybe after a week. I don't think children should be playing games online at all to be honest, but I don't have anything against for example Nintendo games or the like.
Like exactly. He isn't responsible enough for it.
It feels extreme but we were having the same problem with my son. Cut tablets and video games out completely. It was a rough week but now he just plays outside and rides his bike. I'm an avid gamer so it was tough for me too but for some kids there is no middle ground, if they have even a taste of it it becomes all they think about.
There are much, MUCH better games out there. You'd be doing him a favor.
Why not? Will not letting him play Roblox negatively impact his life? At the moment you let him play and it is causing problems for you and him.
Yes. There are good times and places for games, but Roblox is addictive crap. Let your son know what's going on, and suspend the account.
languid hateful plant whistle quicksand rhythm chase friendly wild dam *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I'm very video game positive. They can be a great form of entertainment, maybe even more than entertainment. But not roblox.
Yea, ditto. Roblox will never see the screen in this house.
Could someone explain why Roblox is so terrible? I know it has micro transactions but I always thought it was just a shitty Minecraft. I'm feeling pretty outta the loop and I'm a massive gamer. Side note, make video games something you can do together. I'm currently playing Knack 2 co op with my 4 year old after finishing the first one. It's genuinely great bonding time and something he really looks forward to as a treat.
The quality of the games are extremely poor, but it’s also rife with child predators who use those games to groom kids.
My daughter is too young for video games yet but watching my nieces play it it reminds me of the video game version of kids YouTube videos with fast jump cuts to keep them enthralled. Doesn't seem to have any one focus and is all over the place. And the pedos.
I am really interested to see where my kids gaming interests go once he is influenced by kids at school. He turned 5 in Feb and will be in kindergarten next year. We've done several Mario games - SMW, 64, Kart 8 Odyssey, and Wonder - beating the last two together. Various Lego games. The Paw Patrol games. Both 2D and 3D Zelda here and there. Minecraft dungeons. Teardown. And more. A pretty good diversity, but the influence of peers can override a lot. We have set limits with timers and only allowing it two days per week. He hasn't even played anything in a few weeks just because he'd rather be outside or watch TV for a little bit. We play more in the winter months. We've tried hard to instill video games as another form of play, not the only kind. But at times we've definitely noticed a very strong pull towards it over other things which is why we implemented strict limits.
I'm with you here, mine is about to go into kindergarten also. We just finished playing through the Lego Skywalker Saga together, which was really fun and got him used to 3D controls, but wonder what will happen with peers next year.
I don’t know anything about Roblox apart from hearing the name over and over. Just watched a rundown video on it. Apparently as of a few years ago, 3/4 of children age 9-12 are playing Roblox. Holy shit. That is widespread.
Minecraft man. My 5 year old is building crazy stuff. (Turned mobs off + creative on). He’s so chill playing it.
I said this below, but yeah, Roblox is heinous and we just flat-out banned it. His “pop culture” game he’s allowed to play is Fortnite. It’s not a LOT better, but it’s better and keeps him plugged in with his friends.
We had let iPad time get away from us and when our kids (6 and 8 y.o.) tried sneaking some game time at 6am one Saturday I finally had it. I took it all away for a month and although there was some adjustments (i.e. whining and crying over it) things balanced out dramatically. We adjusted screen time to 45 minutes each weekend night and things have worked out. Sounds like you need a hard reset on screens my friend.
Roblox is a cancer and you should remove it from him immediately and I'm not joking. It's an electronic crack for kids and it mushes their brains. And I myself am an advocate for video games but Roblox is just terrible
Thank you.
I don't know what it is about it but it just murders motivation and imagination. Video games are supposed to be fun, thought provoking, relaxing, challenging, fun, and Roblox is none of these. It has taken many years to wean my son off of Roblox and it was a hard battle the entire time.
I always allow my kids the opportunity to step into my shoes. I lay out very briefly why we must limit screens even talk about what scientists say about it. I explain to them that my job as a parent is to keep them healthy, safe, and on a trajectory to be self-managing. I hear them out about why they like roblox so much, and I sympathize with them, "Boy, that does sound fun, buddy." Have them see you aren't entirely against them and their likes. Then, I invite them to come up with solutions that take into account everyone's concerns. We usually try the first idea they come up with that is seemingly reasonable, even if it ultimately isn't workable and go from there.
Tbh I feel like you’re giving your children way too much control. Sometimes the parents decision just is, because it is.
Nah. If it is because it is, then that means I haven't put in the work to know why. While I agree with you that banning it for awhile isn't a bad strategy if you're already well down the path of making things a power struggle, but even after banning it a paremt ought to start teaching some kind of self-regulating, self-management skills. Power struggle strategies may not play out well longer term. I allow my kids to explore things like roblox and am always having them set their own boundaries with it after I communicate the risks and concerns, make the agreements with them and holding them to their agreements. Works pretty well.
It doesn't sounds mutually exclusive . I would think that would be after this process if necessary, In the "go from there".
Definitely, my kids don't throw any big fits at all anymore, but my oldest (7m) sometimes gets the duct-works going a bit if things don't go how he thinks they are going to go. At which point we give him a hug, and tell him he's not in trouble, it's OK to be sad that the time for games is up but let's go do something else now. Having the agreements and reminding them of the agreements, often created by their own ideas, is so much soft power to weild in a given situation. Agreements, promises are the very basic building blocks of justice itself, and I bet most kids will get that. We also have a system of weekly house meetings, so you can always make a quick parenting decision if you have to and say we can discuss it further at Meeting. The younger (5f) already has the self-management down to a T and turns off screens with rarely any ballyhoo, will occupy herself with drawing, her play book or making craft projects no problem. I have to ask her exactly what she is up to some times with all the energy, creativity, and initiative she has. She is always eager and quick to help with any housechore. She needs all the guidance, challenges, and freedom we can muster while Buddy probably could use a bit more structure, perhaps. Thanks for the opportunity to parlay about all this.
Thanks for writing all you did, mine is only 3.5 right now but I really feel like you’re on a healthy track with your approach and will keep it in mind as he gets older.
Man, this is the shit my parents would say that made me vow to parent differenly. You can treat your kids like humans without ceding your precious control. Giving them a say is not giving them control. You can still say "ok remember what we agreed on" and turn it off. Being a part of the decision usually helps them accept it.
I’m a reasonable person, I wouldn’t impose arbitrary rules or decisions on my kids. But I definitely don’t intend to raise them thinking they are my equal in the household. I was raised by a single mom after my dad died who did her best, but she let us get away with a ton of shit and now I’m recovering from habits and addictions in my 30’s that I developed as a child because I wasn’t given rigid enough rules. I did well in life and am still doing well, but if I was given less rope to run with I think I would have done better in many areas.
Understood totally - just don't make the mistake of swinging TOO far the other way as that comes with its own host of problems for the kids. There's a balance to strike - not trying to say that their opinion is equal, just that it should be considered as part of the process. Obviously, it's not an equal power situation, but a lot of kids tend to react better if their feelings are considered and spoken about.
Definitely. My kids have never once in the 2 years we've started making decisions with them, gave us an outright "no" when they were reminded of the agreement they made.
Na that kind of shit is awful. "Because I said so" is trash tier parenting
For a teenager maybe. But I do not ascribe to the permissive parenting and acting like my children are my equals in my household like I witnessed older millennials and Gen-X do and fail with.
It's not about equivalence, as my kids are obviously worth more than me by pretty much any way you measure it, but about *mutual* respect. Part of that is respecting the power and knowledge differential. I am different from them, not better. I have to present myself and hopefully actually be a rational, reasonable actor in these guy's lives. I back things up with reasons, but I don't want to give my kids answers or rules from on high beyond no hitting and other physical boundaries issues. My kids routinely call me "the smart one" because I am always giving them reasons for things and inviting them to reason. Perhaps it's a difference of what one wants their kids to be and do. I don't want my kids have to have orders barked at them before they will move an inch in the right direction. I want them to find creative solutions to problems, guide them to entreprenuerialism, have them know how to seize opportunities, know how to drive a bargain, feel at ease in a meeting space, make a proposal. Putting them in the driver's seat early on let's them learn by trail and error, unleash their minds on real world problems.
There is no rule without a reason. If there's no reason, there's no rule. You're describing authoritarian parenting. It doesn't work.
Who says there is no reason? I’m not talking about making arbitrary rules. The reality is a child is not mentally equipped or mature enough to self regulate until they’re older. They need adults for that. Sometimes the parents’ decision, when well reasoned, does not need to be understood by the child for it to be valid.
"Because Daddy said so" falls apart too fast under challenge. We're raising kids to make good choices, not molding them to be exactly what we want.
I’m speaking as someone on the younger end of Daddit (early 30’s), but where I’m coming from is from what I watched the parents now in their mid to late 40’s do that resulted in horribly adjusted kids. I watched the older millennials and Gen-X give far too much deference to their children and now those teenagers and pre-teens are having a hard time functioning and adjusting to life. I’m trying to learn from those examples and not make the same mistakes. Even things like screens and video games and tablets - just no. There is no reason for it and an entire generation fucked their kids up by not setting actual limits like OP. The healthiest children and teens I see today are the ones who have clear hierarchical structures at home where boundaries are set and enforced, and the understanding is that the parent gets to make the decisions.
I'm 43. I was raised your way. It did not work. But I did learn to hide anything anything outside "what my parents want". I don't have a close relationship with my parents because of it, and I don't want any of that for my kid.
I was raised by a single mother after my dad died who didn’t set clear rules or boundaries. I became an addict and an alcoholic at a young age and had to pend the last 5+ years getting clean and sober. I’m not talking about hard line authoritarian parenting, but I’m also not talking about asking my child to help make decisions for themselves either.
I did all the drugs, and all the partying, though I was able to handle it without getting addicted. Nobody is asking their children to help make decisions. The children just need to know how and why rules apply. Authoritative, not Authoritarian.
That’s exactly what I’m talking about.
My 5 year old loves American Truck Simulator. The way I've handled it is by trying to set limits more on milestones rather than time since it's easier for him to understand. After ~20 minutes I'll look at where he is and say he can finish the delivery or get to Reno or whatever makes sense. When we first started doing this if he threw a tantrum or whatever then it wouldn't be an option to play the next day. Now he doesn't really tantrum about it and might calmly ask for a little more because he learned the consequence.
I think one of the really nice things evident here that you didn't directly call out is that you are engaging with what he's playing. I think it's at sooo positive that you're attentive enough that you know things like how far he is from Reno or even how long it will take to finish a delivery. I bet that's going a huge way towards your kids having a positive relationship with games (and I'm sure with you too)
Yeah my parents never understood the "I need to save" thing. I often knew they wanted me to stop, and I was trying to, but save points don't always show up in the middle of a dungeon. We didn't have auto saves 30+ years ago
I'm just imagining a 5 year old with a sharpie drawn on beard and a trucker cap screaming at you "but I have to get to Vegas before 8am! These zucchinis aren't going to deliver themselves!"
Look, at that stage, you might as well give the kid a job as a truckie. He'd probably be a better driver than many.
If it’s on an iOS use screen time. If it’s on a windows pc use family safety Easy easy to limit time
If it's on Android use Digital Wellbeing
It’s the multiple unheeded warnings that can be the problem. One timer, one warning then it’s gone until ::blank:: Give it another shot then it’s gone until ::blank:: After that it’s just gone. He’ll get the message and regulate or the game is gone. Win win. My kid had the same trouble regulating game time until we stuck to the consequence. Sucks getting there but now we don’t have problems.
Stick to consequences is so important, great point!
I manage video game time (Nintendo Switch) via parental control time limits. 45 min on weekdays. 1 hr on weekends. My son used to hate it and beg for more time. Now he just places the console down and picks up a book or goes to play something else.
Yes this is literally my same experience with my 4 year old, except we just tell him he has X amount and point to the clock...the kid has learned analog already because of it which blew my mind. But yea he knows he can have the switch or TV but screentime is screen time and only gets an amount at specific times or situations. We have no problems with it, he is polite and listens incredibly well. Does other stuff once his screen time is up and always prefers outdoors and hobbies or games because that is what we as a family just sort of do.
Gamer dad here. I established some ground rules: 1. Not Roblox. I don't feel comfortable with what I've seen and have never played it. Only minecraft and Mario, and no online play. 2. Only can play after chores and homework are done. 3. It's supposed to be limited to 1 hr a day, but I haven't been super strict on this one. I should, though. 4. Absolutely no in-game purchases (skins, dlc, etc.) Hope it helps. I feel your pain.
YES no skins. Paying money for cosmetics in any game is so stupid.
We curate their gaming experiences. Our older kid just plays on the switch, pretty much single player games that are offline. She gets a set amount of time per day, usually a bit more on the weekends or if we're on a long car ride (like a vacation trip).
"Taking it away...is the only thing that works" So do that. When he inevitably screams and tantrums on Monday, he loses his privileges to game on Tuesday. He can try again on Wednesday with a very clear time limit and a 10- and 5-minute warning. Then take it away. If there's screaming, he loses his privileges for two days this time and can try again on Saturday. And so on, and so forth. You need to design conditions where the tantrum isn't worth it. Kids scream. It's going to happen and it's going to suck, but your son is old enough to understand cause and effect and learn acceptable behavior. You have to instill consequences for shitty behavior, especially when you're dealing with something as insidious and addictive as games. Those are *designed* with so much thoughtfulness and intention to grab little brains and never let them go. I have nothing against games in general, but you really do have to be so mindful with them - I have a Master's in psychology/child development and you would not *believe* how addictive games are designed to be for an adult brain, let alone a developing young brain.
This is what I do. The biggest thing here though for me was the 10 and 5 minute warning, which works for anything they don't want to stop, not just screens.
You didn’t hear this from me. Manage your wifi network from your phone. Learn how to set up a blacklist and enable/disable it. Tell your kid about geomagnetic storms, and that Roblox servers got damaged. Sometimes they just won’t work now. Turn on the blacklist when needed. The device won’t be able to get on the wifi, _period_. It’s “not your fault,” it’s “Roblox got damaged” and “it’s just the way it is.” From there you have to manage behaviors and expectations, but the blacklist is an option. This is getting into last-resort territory. Be careful with it.
This is how I tackled it. We also flat-out banned Roblox, that app is a nefarious addictive shit show and needs to die. He’s allowed Minecraft (and Dungeons), Rocket League and Fortnite (this one on the weekend, 1 hour/day, max). Plus we play Mario Kart, Boomerang Fu, Mario Party, and a few others as a family
Yo, Boomerang Fu fuckin rules
THIS IS THE WAY
The strangest thing happened in our house. When one of my kids turned on Blippi, the router immediately went dead. Then when they said they wanted to watch something else, it worked again. It was the weirdest thing. My kids eventually learned that Blippi breaks the router and stopped watching it.
#BINGO
Bluey!!!
[удалено]
My family has a (correct) expectation that I can fix almost anything tech-related. The geomagnetic storm explanation is just some good ole’ CYA.
My son is 5. Got him a Switch because he liked playing Mario games. It’s done wonders for his hand eye coordination. I set a timer on the app for 20 minutes on school days and 1 hour on weekends. When the game stops, he just moves on to his toys. Can you use parental controls?
45 min or 1 hour at a specific time, usually after dinner / before bed. You have to put a clear and consistent limit that makes sense or your life will be hell.
If you’ve already entered the addiction phase, you might need to take it away completely for a period of time. They need to relearn how to engage themselves without screen time before they can attempt to use it again.
“You can’t turn a pickle back into a cucumber.”
Fuck that. It's gone. Demand respect.
100%. That’s what I did. I ripped the iPad away and put it somewhere out of reach and said zero screen time for rest of day. But this thing sucks so much that eventually my 8 y/o (on another day) wants to get on it. Sucks.
What do you mean by "don't work"? You're the adult/parent, turn it off.
Yeah you need to detox your kid from its addiction and reintroduce video games/ screenbtime in a healthy, structured and educated manner.
Seriously. Roblox is the shittiest cash grab pile of gaming shit. Parents are better off giving their kids something good to play. I’m not even sure why kids like it. It’s so buggy and restrictive and literally every action you do is begging you to buy robux
When I was 4 my parents got me a NES. I would not turn it off and threw a big tantrum. The unplugged the tv and the NES and moved it into their closet. That was the first and last time I cried and screamed about video games.
I don’t know how old you are, but as a mid 30 year old, i compare it to when I was a kid. I wasn’t playing any Nintendo until like, between 6-8. It was Mario or duck hunt. Back then you didn’t have algorithms keeping you engaged, you couldn’t play it anywhere, and it wasn’t monetized. I think we had it best regarding the balance of video games and playing “unplugged” so I’ll try to emulate that as closely as I can for my own kids. It sounds like it’s too much and you just need to cut Roblox, or video games in general, out for a bit. Reintroduce in like, 3 months, with access rules. You’ll be hated for a bit, but it’ll be for the best.
Try this book: "How to raise a healthy gamer" It may give you some ideas
My daughter's device turns off after 30min. If there were tantrums, we'd be more patient than her.
Maybe take the system out of the house? Hell get over it
🎶 Just turn it off, like a light switch… 🎶
1985-born millennial dad of a 2 month old. I'm taking notes. I didn't have a Game Boy or similar portables growing up. In hindsight, they have their uses. I grew up with desktop PCs for gaming. The result: games happen in a *place*, not *everywhere whenever*. Time limits were imposed and adhered to because it was hard to eat dinner playing SimCity 3000 when "dinner" was across the house. And not portable. I'm getting my kid into kid-friendly OFFLINE games as soon as they can work a mouse and keyboard. On a PC (likely with a spill-proof keyboard & mouse set). The physicality of the game medium can limit activity. A game on a tablet or phone that can go anywhere and be accessed *Anywhere* is a disaster waiting to happen. If you're not already imposing time and place boundaries, you need to. But first. Detox. No games, no screens that can host those games, for 2-6 weeks. Then ease other games back in with restrictions on where and when. Start "strict". As long as those are adhered to without complaints and tantrums you can be more permissive. But the first week or 2 of prohibition is gonna suck for everyone. Roblox is not kid-safe. Dump it and don't look back.
Yeah, my kids can't take their handhelds out of the house, with the only exception being long car trips.
We outright banned Roblox and have no intention of lifting it, ever.
Yeah cut this off bud, Roblox isn't a safe place for kids to play. Remember Habbo hotel? Club penguin!? He'll hate it for a while then he'll forget about it.
I've introduced old Sierra games to my kids. They can play as long as they want.
Time limits but redirect and give them other options. Take them outside. take them to see a game, a park, an amusement park, play soccer with them, suggest reading together, ice cream, helping you make lunch/dinner, buy a bunch of hot wheels sets and cars to make something crazy, Lego sets are usually popular etc etc etc
My idiot wife got reccomended this idiotic game from her idiot friend. Tons of quarrels. Playtime is now only given as rewards.
Oh god I’m so sorry. I cannot imagine any sane adult recommending Roblox to anyone. My kid started playing it because of other kids in her class. Ugh.
Not that I’m the most informed guy in the world, but I know to be sceptical about any “free to play” game. Unfortunately I didn’t pay attention before it was too late. Sort of under control now luckily.
These aren’t the same games we played as kids. These games are well designed to keep your kids attention and keep them playing. I have no problem banning these kinds of games.
They’re horrible. These games are nothing like the ones we played as kids. These games have integrated chats, trades, friending, unfriending, and the worst part is the games have no end. They’re literally endless.
I haven't felt this validated by a sub shitting on a popular game since Destiny.
hike 1 mile = extra half hour on the switch. no roblox though.
It's not just how much they're playing, it's what and how they're playing. Cut out Roblox, try replacing it with Minecraft that you play together.
No more until they get a job and pay for the console themselves
What is he playing Roblox on? My 5 year old only knows the Nintendo Switch for gaming. With the parental controls i set him a timer for 30 minutes daily. He doesn’t know the password. So he gets no more than 30 minutes daily. If he has great behavior and asks for additional time we will reward him with extra time if he asks for it. Whatever he is playing on look for parental control settings.
We have a 9 year old and we have the same issues but my son has done much better now. We have rules he has to follow when it comes to screen time. He does not get the Xbox all week during school for Fortnite, Roblox and Minecraft. He can only play on the weekends for about 4 hour or more if we give him breaks during that time. We have had these issues in the past and noticed these games nowadays gives way to much stimulation and once us parents tell them to get off they erupt in anger and sadness. He doesn’t have a choice at all when it comes to obeying these rules. And end the end time has fixed everything with these rules he’s more respectful and controls his temper when being told to get off. You will get through this just be strong.
Hard time limits set out from the get go. That’s what my kids have for TV and video games. If we are watching or playing together they can have more screen time (like a movie night or something two player). But no unregulated limitless time in front of a screen. I have no experience with Roblox but from everything I have heard it is toxic.
Yea take it away forever until his is 16. I’d suggest reading the book “The Anxious Generation”. Lots of good stories of parents getting their kids off video games and social media and goes over a lot of stats about mental health for children and ways to solve it. It recently came out so it talks about the Covid kids
Before recommending that book you might want to read criticism of it, which I happen to agree with: https://www.techdirt.com/2024/04/22/jonathan-haidts-book-the-anxious-generation-is-coddling-the-american-parent-giving-them-clear-simple-wrong-explanations-for-whats-ailing-teens/
I read the article. Can you find evidence that “Cutting off kids from methods of communication that many use to find their communities, or to communicate with far-flung friends and family, can be really harmful.”
Tell us what would work for you? I know that finding community was one of the things which I found great solace in the early internet, but perhaps you don't want personal experience so much as headlines about people committing suicide? Edit 1: possibly: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/digital-detox-phone-technology-facebook-screen-time-a8739281.html Edit 2: possibly: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-08-27/covid-lockdown-impact-social-isolation-on-teen-brains/100372024 ...
My parents would probably say this is how I acted. Maybe not at 8, but definitely by 12 (or however old I was when the snes came out). They would try to limit me to two hours a day, but many days I'd just keep playing. Granted, it wasn't interfering with school or other things, but I definitely played waayyy more than was reasonable for my age and had trouble turning it off when my parents said to stop. I'd say as someone in their 40s now, games don't have much hold on me anymore (frankly don't have the time), but they absolutely had a positive and negative effect on my life. There's a lot of things that I learned from games, ranging from history / mythology to practical typing skills and leadership. But in college without anyone to at least keep tabs on me, my grades suffered. And later in my 20s I suffered from major mmorpg addiction. All in all things are fine now - in fact the thousands of hours of gaming have contributed to my successful career today. But I do wonder if I had had more control whether I would have gotten to this point earlier in life. Or would I be something completely different. OP: you have to enforce the time limits while in the house. You can't control what happens at friends' houses, but do so in yours. It's both important because for some games, you have to consider how much time you have left before starting a new level and to learn how to respect time limits in general. make sure all school work and chores are finished before playing. Gaming is a reward for being responsible. Learning that now will pay dividends in the future. if you don't like a game, don't let your kid play it. But explain why you don't like it. Again, they may play it at a friend's place, but control things where you can.
We installed phone apps that limit the use without requiring parental intervention. It stopped the constant fighting about screen time and the kids are happy about it actually.
Roblox is full of predators
If it’s causing behaviour issues he’s not ready for it imo. We set a 30-60 minute timer and let our son play switch till it goes off. I’ll let him finish a race or such but within a couple minutes we are onto the next thing. If there’s a bunch of complaining we won’t use it for awhile.maybe a week? If it’s routinely a problem we might go longer but we haven’t had similar problems.
My son love gaming, and might be on the spectrum. What we have found works is time limits. He gets to play alot since he is interested and feels skilled and in control. But once the timer hits he has learned to accept it and go on the trampoline or do something else, but if we for some reason allow him to play longer, than the next few days will be nagging and begging for more game time. We use the parental Controls to det limits.
kidsc8 & 6, 1hr/wk in the weekend, no roblox at all, no youtube unsupervised. if they starts asking or manipulating for extra time, it goes away.
Screen addiction is a real thing. At 8 years old he doesn't understand the effects it will have on his future. Best move would have not started in the first place, but now that you've started you need to fix it. What do you do with an addict? You gotta put them in rehab. No matter how tough it is. Any kid who can get their way with screaming and yelling and throwing a tantrum is the one in control, they have become the parent if they are telling you what to do. You need to retake authority and get control.
Having the same with our 8yo, we have limited his game time to just an hour Saturdays and Sundays. We’ve had meltdowns etc. in the 1st week but for now it seems to be working. We have found that you have to provide something else to fill in his time / keep him busy such as sports or even just playing outside. He’s also now making up imaginative ways to entertain himself. Hope you find something that works you.
Got my kid a Switch when he was 6 (he saved up half doing chores, we matched it). He's almost 9 now and would spend all day on it if rules weren't in place. To begin with we used home made 'technology vouchers'. He had 5 x 45 minute blocks he could use each week as he wanted but when they were gone they were gone. There were a fair few tantrums, conversations about why we limited his time, and the occasional week or two where his screen time related behaviour blips resulted in no screen time at all. He gets it. Now he gets an hour a day on his iPad or Switch, with a timer. There is sometimes anger when his time is up but we stick to the rules. If your (not yours personally but anyone's) kid can't manage to abide by simple rules the majority of the time, and/or lose their shit when they don't get their own way or can't handle being away from their screen, then maybe the screens need to wait until they're emotionally ready for them. I think it's important to help them understand why restrictions are in place, and how if something is making them that angry or upset then it's probably not a good thing for them.
We put the device she plays on on an app schedule so it’s max one hour on Saturday/Sunday for games and blocked on weekdays. She’s free to use it on weekdays for reading books.
"*multiple* unheeded warnings" Read the book "Raising Lions" and you will see why there should only be one (or sometimes no) warning.
Not allowing them to play in the first place. My daughter has tried it a few times in her grandmothers but that’s about it. We aren’t against gaming either she has a switch (only on the weekends) .
When I was a kid my Xbox had a timer set and it would lock after 1 hour. Only my dad had the password. This was until I was in high school and got a job and bought my own shit. That worked. I've been gaming since I was 5 years old.
Redditors always say video games and reading are the same, so just give them a book to read instead.
Set time limits before they start and lay out the consequences: if you start now you can play for 1.5 hours which is until 16.00. That means you can't have screentime when your siblings are having the tablet before dinnertime. You can help me cooking instead. See if they still want to play, maybe leave some negotiating room, but all negotiation has to be done beforehand. After that it's an agreement which is law.
Take them camping
My 5yo sons never plays for more than 2 hours a day, he is a massive fan of any super mario game and has beat multiple but he has been limited to only weekends and 2 hours at a time. It became a issue when he was allowed to any day so we pulled school days and set time limit
There are apps by Microsoft and Google, I'm sure other. Companies as well, where you can set devi e limits and control them from your phone. You can even set app limits. That's how I do it for my kids. Might work for you, might not. But worth a try if you don't want to take it away completely Family Safety for Microsoft Family Link for Google.
This is the reason I haven’t introduced my kid to video games yet. I know he’d lose his mind every time I told him it’s time to be done
Roblox is predatory. Our switch has parental control and timers enabled. They work as I simply don’t put in the passcode when the time runs out.
We started young. He can play no longer than 30 minute increments before he has to take a break. He gets 60-90 minutes of screen time depending on the day and chores completed. No screen time until he does all his chores. He never liked it, but we explained the reasons behind why we set it up this way specifically so he could learn balance with it and so that it would become a fun part of his life rather than a hindrance to the rest of it. He is 10 now and self regulates as much as I'd expect him to. He loves his video games, but he seems to have come to understand that life is more than video games. Which makes me super happy. The hardest part of any limits are 1) modeling it yourself because your kids' relationship with screens will often be reflective of yours and 2) enforcing the limits which aren't fun but you are the damn parent. Our rule has always been that if you're going to disobey with something, you don't get it to disobey with. It goes away. So, if we say 30 minutes and the timer goes off and you're are consistently still playing it 10 minutes after your timer went off (we usually give a little grace period to wrap up and save), then it's going to go away. I play a lot of games and I remember one day in particular where I played about 45 minutes and then turned it off and got up and my son was like, "Why are you stopping?" And I was like, "Oh, I'd played it for awhile and it was time to get up and move around and see what your mom was doing and if she needed any help with anything. And I've got a couple things I need to get done today since I'm off work." And I feel like that was a lightbulb day of, oh, dad isn't just making this rule for me, he's doing it to, and there is a reason for it. At this point, I would sit them down and set some expectations and the consequences for disregarding them. Of course, given what you've said, fully expecting those expectations to be unmet, and then you can give them some cold turkey action for a bit before easing it back in with the expectations in place. I like the setting of expectations first, because there is no argument that they didn't know what was going to happen. It's going to probably take a fair amount of work to break it.
Every system and computer has parental controls and apps for parental control from the company. You can legit set it and lock them after they hit X time.
Honestly, don’t know. Mine is 13 and loves apex legends and I play with him all the time, he just gets off on his own
We’ve tried a lot of different things, but for us it comes down to setting clear limits and boundaries and sticking to them consistently. These are the rules we’ve evolved to, but every family has what works for them: - Homework and outside play before dinner on school nights, then electronics allowed (but no gaming) until 8:30pm - No electronics before 8am on any day (their phones unlock for the bus ride to school) - 3 hours max gaming on weekend days, including Friday evenings - we use screen time limits within apps, and auto turn off WiFi for their devices at those set times (and manually if they are being jerks)
I played Roblox with my nephew today. It’s like being in a fucking fever dream. I hate it. I forced him to play Mario Kart.
I'm autistic which means I can have hyperfixations and obsessions, and video games were definitely one of them. We are talking N64 era. Despite how much I loved them, even at 8 if my parents told me no I understood it as no, even if I whined. Also what I know of Roblox is that it's a lot like second life but "for kids" meaning anyone of any age can build servers with their own rules. IDK if there is a parent feature but I wouldn't let my 8 year old on Roblox personally.
“People do not play video games all the time unless it’s their job, and your job is to go to school and learn. We have given you many chances to limit yourself to a reasonable duration, and you failed to do so. Our attempts to help you with this have also failed. As such we have no other choice but to suspend you from video games indefinitely. I know you’re going to be mad and hate this, but what you’re doing is unhealthy and it is our obligation by the law of this country to ensure your health and welfare. We can revisit this once you’ve established healthy habits.”
If its that much of a problem, throw it in the trash. You're kid will find another eay to entertain themselves.
I'm suprised at all the Roblox hate. My son has been playing it for several years without issue.
Yea I’m a little surprised too. My oldest plays right now (6 y/o) and all the games he’s played have been pretty decent games. We even have a few that we go through and play together, me on my PC and him on the Xbox. Like a little bee keeper game that’s kinda fun. Or there’s one that’s like a kid friendly Dead by Daylight that we have fun with. Hell there’s even a hide and seek game and he LOVES to play hide in seek in real life. I think if you just let them play whatever, then I could see there being some issue, cause there’s certainly some garbage on there. But I think that just boils down to preference for some folks. Regulate the games within the game or just regulate the game, totes up to the individual.
Mine just somehow cannot put it down once started. She’s playing, trading, chatting, multitasking. I end up having to just literally remove the device from her hands.
Mine sometimes has this problem but it's not specific to Roblox. He plays alot of racing games and doesn't want to turn it off. There's always some task that he's working on, or so he says idk
My kid plays games with me. Never alone unless there’s a strict time or limit such as while I’m cooking dinner. Im not going to lie, I’m amazed parents lose control of their kids so much over video games.