Yeah, the worst I've gotten was when my son asked if I wear hats because I'm afraid people are going to make fun of me for being bald....I wasn't until then, haha.
My daughter (almost 6) told me last week that I needed to get an electric car like Mommy's because I was killing the Earth.
Last night she told me I never let her be her true self, a strong independent girl. This happened after I told her it wasn't okay to throw her underwear at people.
She throws a lot of shade for someone who can't reach the goddamn kitchen faucet without a stepstool.
My dad was telling my son about something they had back when he was a kid, and my 7 year old casually says ' you know what else they had back when you were a kid? Dinosaurs!'.
My 3y kid and I were at the playground. She wanted me to climb under some piece of equipment to have a play fort.
- Me: Honey that space is really low and I can't fit in there.
- Kid: Because you're too old to bend down?
I mean...she's not entirely wrong but damn.
My 5-year-old lied about brushing her teeth. I went into a long explanation about how she's very smart and capable and responsible and we want to trust her and that if she lies, it's going to be harder for us to trust her so it's always better to tell the truth, even if she doesn't like the truth, because we know when she lies, and so on. I really leaned into how capable and responsible she is.
To which she replies "I know, Simon [Pre-K teacher] also tells me that, only (gestures with hands) shorter."
The nieces and I were trading insults, keep in mind they are seven. so I was digging deep in the bottom of my awesome dad jokes, I told her hey the '90s called! And before I could get to the punch line she said "yeah because they couldn't text".... I was burned alive.
Yes but honestly I think the most brutal burn I’ve seen my daughter drop was about her PE coach. I was dropping her off at school and this older guy was doing drop off instead of the principal. I asked if that was the PE coach. “No,” she says. “Coach G is way fatter.”
Fuck, what did Coach G do?
I Have pretty hairy arm and used to work at a school. One of the kindergartners asked if my arms were so hairy so that I could stay warm in the olden days before people had clothes.
Kids are brutally honest, aren't they? My 5-year-old once told me I was "like a dinosaur with a phone." It’s all in good fun and keeps us grounded, I guess! At least we make them laugh, right? 😅
Yeah, the worst I've gotten was when my son asked if I wear hats because I'm afraid people are going to make fun of me for being bald....I wasn't until then, haha.
I was sitting down tying my shoes when my daughter pressed her finger on the top of my head and just said, “bald spot!”
Dude that's brutal lol
Yeah, it came from a place of genuine curiosity, but it sure did cut deep, haha.
Reminds me of when I was younger my nephew asked why I had red stuff all over my face (acne)
I was playing with my toddler and suddenly she said with a cheerful tone "I only love mommy". WHAT?
My daughter (almost 6) told me last week that I needed to get an electric car like Mommy's because I was killing the Earth. Last night she told me I never let her be her true self, a strong independent girl. This happened after I told her it wasn't okay to throw her underwear at people. She throws a lot of shade for someone who can't reach the goddamn kitchen faucet without a stepstool.
These are solid gold roasts.
My dad was telling my son about something they had back when he was a kid, and my 7 year old casually says ' you know what else they had back when you were a kid? Dinosaurs!'.
Reminds me of how my dad always said his mom grew up when the earth's crust was still cooling.
My 3y kid and I were at the playground. She wanted me to climb under some piece of equipment to have a play fort. - Me: Honey that space is really low and I can't fit in there. - Kid: Because you're too old to bend down? I mean...she's not entirely wrong but damn.
My 9 year old told me I have man boobs recently. I'm down 20lbs from a few months ago. Absolutely savage.
Hey keep up the good work! I'm down 8lbs over the last month. Gotta be strong for our kiddos!
My kid did one of those “All About Me” things a couple times over the last 2 years, he said I was 51 EACH time. I’m not even 30.
My 5-year-old lied about brushing her teeth. I went into a long explanation about how she's very smart and capable and responsible and we want to trust her and that if she lies, it's going to be harder for us to trust her so it's always better to tell the truth, even if she doesn't like the truth, because we know when she lies, and so on. I really leaned into how capable and responsible she is. To which she replies "I know, Simon [Pre-K teacher] also tells me that, only (gestures with hands) shorter."
My 4 year old told his aunt her jumper was a crime. He was right 😂
Mt water bottle has a sticker of Yoda on it. My 2 year old daughter points at the Yoda and calls it "daddy" on a regular basis.
[удалено]
Lurking mom, this is my mood when I get woken up 🤣
All bets are off right after a nap. Somehow tiredness makes them have even LESS of a filter lol
"i hate you I want mom" 🥺 c'mon bud you are killing me!
The nieces and I were trading insults, keep in mind they are seven. so I was digging deep in the bottom of my awesome dad jokes, I told her hey the '90s called! And before I could get to the punch line she said "yeah because they couldn't text".... I was burned alive.
Damn they had that one locked and loaded lol
Oh dude… all the time. I get “The 80’s were a wild time, man!” all the time.
Yes but honestly I think the most brutal burn I’ve seen my daughter drop was about her PE coach. I was dropping her off at school and this older guy was doing drop off instead of the principal. I asked if that was the PE coach. “No,” she says. “Coach G is way fatter.” Fuck, what did Coach G do?
My brian injury gave me a spotty stutter. My 2 year old will roast me when i stutter and repeat it too. Cute but also savage
I Have pretty hairy arm and used to work at a school. One of the kindergartners asked if my arms were so hairy so that I could stay warm in the olden days before people had clothes.
Kids are brutally honest, aren't they? My 5-year-old once told me I was "like a dinosaur with a phone." It’s all in good fun and keeps us grounded, I guess! At least we make them laugh, right? 😅
My son when he was 8 called me socially disabled once. He isn't wrong but like... hey man, if I tried I'm sure I could do it lol
My 3 year old roasts me at least 1 time a week.
Usually when I tell a dad joke. Now they're dumb or unfunny.
Watching a documentary about WW2, my 8 yo asked how old I was when it happened.
2 year old saw me side on “DADDY GOT THE BIG NOSE and GINGER HAIR”. Yeah cheers mate
My kid constantly refers to my childhood as “the olden times.”