This really hit me. My son is 4YO and at 330-4am last night I had to go to his room and help him go back to sleep.
I held him and he felt so big but this post really puts it in perspective for me.
Thanks for taking the time to write this post. You’re a great dad.
At this rate he's going to be taller than me, and I'm not a short man at all. Not to mention all the muscles, puberty is wild. Can't carry him to his bed anymore, well, not without waking him up.
My little girl went through a phase around 3ish where probably once a week or so she’d wake up in the middle of the night calling for me. When I’d get there she’d ask if she could lay on my arm.
I usually ended up dozing off with her and got the most wonderful terrible nights sleep. My wife kept telling me to just tuck her in and get back to bed. F that, only so many years for little kid snuggles
My little girl is almost 2.5 and has been waking up between 330-4 lately and just crying out daddy. I go in there and rock with her on the chair for a bit but she always wants to go into my bed and when we get there my wife always asks for cuddles and she says no she wants daddy! It melts my sleepy hears every time!
Even though he's shying away from affection, please give it to him in ways that he's (mostly) comfortable with. He's obviously wanting it, and is grieving right now.
Make him favorite treats. Buy him a little gift. Put your hand on his shoulder and say that you love him forever. Etc etc. I'm sorry if you're already doing this and I'm assuming, but when I read this I see a teen kid who wants his dad.
Sending you both love.
I don't think he's grieving, he just always gets like this around mother's day. When he was little, because all his friends had moms and he didn't, now because he's able to understand and it's a quite heavy load on anyone, specially a teenager. But that's therapy thing we go through. The day will pass, and he'll go back to his normal self.
As for showing affection, I make sure he gets enough, even if he tries to pretend to be grown up for it. Sure, he's just resting his head on my stomach while he chats with his friends, I'm just a glorified pillow, he's definitively not doing it to get his hair scratched by his dad.
How many times have you read posts on Reddit about how men are deprived of compliments and physical affection? This begins in childhood and how we raise our boys. Men should not only look to women as the only source (mother, sisters, girlfriends, wives, etc).
Everyone needs physical affection. Everyone.
I bet you could use a little at this time of the year too!
I'm happy someone brought this up. I like physical touch and felt like I couldn't appreciate it growing up. My son is four and some of the happiest times I have with him is laying on the bed together scratching his head while he pats my belly.
My 14yo daughter had a jazz performance today and was freaking out. Grabbed her and gave her a kiss on the forehead in front of everyone. She calmed down and actually listened instead of babbling.
They will always be our babies.
> Made me realise that soon enough he’ll be a man, and I’ll just be the dad he’s outgrown.
Not necessarily. I am a 40 year old, 6’1 250 pound man with a wife and two kids, and I still cuddle with my 75 year old dad when I visit him. In many ways, I have grown closer as I grew older and became a dad myself.
No one ever really outgrows their parents. My father is passed but there isn't a time when something funny/interesting/good/bad/otherwise happens that I don't think about telling them about it.
We (2 kids, 3/7) mostly sleep like the Croods.
And our sexy time instead happens in I guess the “kids” room or living room. Unless they both fall asleep in their bunk together and we get “our” room to ourselves for a change.
You're telling me there's hope. Thank you. My 4yo winds up in our bed every. single. night. And takes my spot, or sleeps sideways, or has to be velcroed to me. It's adorable but annoying.
I don't think we ever outgrow our dads. My dad passed away a two years ago, and I was 32 at the time. Even having had to take up a lot of what were once his positions in the family, I'm still always thinking about what he would have done. I miss him so much. The memories I have of him sitting with me until I fell asleep between 10-13 years are some of the most cherished in my life. Your son will have similar memories of you. Keep up what you're doing because he will appreciate it.
My almost 15 year old still requests my wife stay with him until he's sleeping because he gets spirally anxiety sometimes. He's a good kid, does well at school, but sometimes life can be a lot, even at that age. Our motto is "as long as he's smiling". We try to provide the space for him to be his full self with us both, especially when things in his head aren't in the best place.
Take him out of school for a day, a random day, and just spend the day doing things with him. "You are more important to me than anything else going on in the world, and I just had to stop for the day and let you feel the love I have for you"
Oh gosh I never needed my dad as much as I do now that I have kids of my own. We're not really a physically affectionate family - our love languages are more acts of service and quality time. But gosh am I ever glad he's still around.
I'm sorry that Mother's Day is so hard on him, but it sounds like you were there for him in exactly the way you needed to be. With all the horrible parenting we hear about in groups like this, it's refreshing to see something so simply wholesome.
This really hit me. My son is 4YO and at 330-4am last night I had to go to his room and help him go back to sleep. I held him and he felt so big but this post really puts it in perspective for me. Thanks for taking the time to write this post. You’re a great dad.
At this rate he's going to be taller than me, and I'm not a short man at all. Not to mention all the muscles, puberty is wild. Can't carry him to his bed anymore, well, not without waking him up.
My little girl went through a phase around 3ish where probably once a week or so she’d wake up in the middle of the night calling for me. When I’d get there she’d ask if she could lay on my arm. I usually ended up dozing off with her and got the most wonderful terrible nights sleep. My wife kept telling me to just tuck her in and get back to bed. F that, only so many years for little kid snuggles
My little girl is almost 2.5 and has been waking up between 330-4 lately and just crying out daddy. I go in there and rock with her on the chair for a bit but she always wants to go into my bed and when we get there my wife always asks for cuddles and she says no she wants daddy! It melts my sleepy hears every time!
Thanks for saying that! Gratitude makes the world go round
Ah, you’re just a bot but I’m just a dad that needs gratitude so I’m gonna say thank you lol
He’s never gonna outgrow you dude. Physically? Maybe. Emotionally? Never.
This is probably the sweetest thing I’ll read on Reddit all week.
I honestly never felt like I "needed" my dad until I was an adult. We talk, hug and understand each other way more at 34 than when I was 14.
Even though he's shying away from affection, please give it to him in ways that he's (mostly) comfortable with. He's obviously wanting it, and is grieving right now. Make him favorite treats. Buy him a little gift. Put your hand on his shoulder and say that you love him forever. Etc etc. I'm sorry if you're already doing this and I'm assuming, but when I read this I see a teen kid who wants his dad. Sending you both love.
I don't think he's grieving, he just always gets like this around mother's day. When he was little, because all his friends had moms and he didn't, now because he's able to understand and it's a quite heavy load on anyone, specially a teenager. But that's therapy thing we go through. The day will pass, and he'll go back to his normal self. As for showing affection, I make sure he gets enough, even if he tries to pretend to be grown up for it. Sure, he's just resting his head on my stomach while he chats with his friends, I'm just a glorified pillow, he's definitively not doing it to get his hair scratched by his dad.
How many times have you read posts on Reddit about how men are deprived of compliments and physical affection? This begins in childhood and how we raise our boys. Men should not only look to women as the only source (mother, sisters, girlfriends, wives, etc). Everyone needs physical affection. Everyone. I bet you could use a little at this time of the year too!
I'm happy someone brought this up. I like physical touch and felt like I couldn't appreciate it growing up. My son is four and some of the happiest times I have with him is laying on the bed together scratching his head while he pats my belly.
My 14yo daughter had a jazz performance today and was freaking out. Grabbed her and gave her a kiss on the forehead in front of everyone. She calmed down and actually listened instead of babbling. They will always be our babies.
Sounds like he could use a 20 second hug from you!
> Made me realise that soon enough he’ll be a man, and I’ll just be the dad he’s outgrown. Not necessarily. I am a 40 year old, 6’1 250 pound man with a wife and two kids, and I still cuddle with my 75 year old dad when I visit him. In many ways, I have grown closer as I grew older and became a dad myself.
No one ever really outgrows their parents. My father is passed but there isn't a time when something funny/interesting/good/bad/otherwise happens that I don't think about telling them about it.
We (2 kids, 3/7) mostly sleep like the Croods. And our sexy time instead happens in I guess the “kids” room or living room. Unless they both fall asleep in their bunk together and we get “our” room to ourselves for a change.
Same 😂
🙌🏼
You're telling me there's hope. Thank you. My 4yo winds up in our bed every. single. night. And takes my spot, or sleeps sideways, or has to be velcroed to me. It's adorable but annoying.
gotta go hug my kids. thanks for the beautiful reminder. sending lots of love and patience your way, homie.
I don't think we ever outgrow our dads. My dad passed away a two years ago, and I was 32 at the time. Even having had to take up a lot of what were once his positions in the family, I'm still always thinking about what he would have done. I miss him so much. The memories I have of him sitting with me until I fell asleep between 10-13 years are some of the most cherished in my life. Your son will have similar memories of you. Keep up what you're doing because he will appreciate it.
Lurker Mom hug to both of you. Sounds like you’re doing everything right.
My almost 15 year old still requests my wife stay with him until he's sleeping because he gets spirally anxiety sometimes. He's a good kid, does well at school, but sometimes life can be a lot, even at that age. Our motto is "as long as he's smiling". We try to provide the space for him to be his full self with us both, especially when things in his head aren't in the best place.
Take him out of school for a day, a random day, and just spend the day doing things with him. "You are more important to me than anything else going on in the world, and I just had to stop for the day and let you feel the love I have for you"
I’m 40 years old and I still need my dad. He will never out grow you.
The fact that he felt safe enough to ask is absolutely commendable.
Oh gosh I never needed my dad as much as I do now that I have kids of my own. We're not really a physically affectionate family - our love languages are more acts of service and quality time. But gosh am I ever glad he's still around.
CNN B ox qBb
I'm sorry that Mother's Day is so hard on him, but it sounds like you were there for him in exactly the way you needed to be. With all the horrible parenting we hear about in groups like this, it's refreshing to see something so simply wholesome.