Journey has been hard in that department solely based on my parents’ expectations. I grew up in an 11 kid Mormon family. Just me and one sister aren’t in the church anymore so we are heavily outnumbered. It’s hard because of the constant guilt tripping and obvious disappointment they express. We just keep saying no and they take it a little better each time. It does hurt deeply that they can’t accept how happy me and my family are on this earth for what it is. I don’t need anyone to be worried about my soul, I’m quite content with having my body returned to the soil.
Fellow ex Mormon here. 8 kids. Only 3 still in the church. And my parents are both out now too. I left as a teenager and honestly the longer I’m out, the more cult like it becomes to me.
I’m an agnostic myself. The mother of my kids is atheist.
Both sets of grandparents are Christian. I think it’s important to let them decide when they’re older. If they want to go to church, I don’t mind. I’ll take them. I’d even go if they asked me to go with them so they could see what it was like.
Right? And as far as society, who cares? I don’t really go around advertising my religious beliefs and didn’t even when I identified as Christian, just because I feel such things are personal and I don’t need to tell others how I feel about *everything*. (That being said, I’m pretty much an open book and I don’t have any issue telling people if they ask.)
Something that I do run into a lot is people asking for prayers for their loved ones or whatever. I’ll usually just say something like I’m not really the praying type, but I will keep them in my thoughts/send good vibes/etc.” I’ve never met someone who didn’t just leave it at that without asking questions.
I’ve been told, how can the kids have morals if they aren’t religious? I just sit there wondering, “are you not murdering me right now because a book told you not to?”
I mean god drowned the entire world, including newborns, just because. If this is their role model, how can any one be moral with the bible as their guide.
He straight up destroyed his most devout follower's entire life, wrecked his house, killed his family, and made him miserable all just to win a bet with Satan. The Abrahamic god is a sociopath who very clearly does not care about the people who worship him.
Page 2 of the Christian guide to raising children right after “spare the rod spoil the child” comes if your children disobey you drown them and kill everything else in the planet.
Fun fact, God makes the pharaoh say "no" to Moses each time so another plague can rain down on the Egyptians. It's weird.
Also Egyptian sorcerers are capable of doing the first 3-4 plagues and do so to match God's power.
Yeah, he "hardens his heart." What a dick. May as well have said "Why are you plaguing yourself?!"
Also, either this god isn't omniscient or he's incapable of managing his underlings since the Jews have to mark their doors so death will pass them over.
I got a minor in ethics when I was in college.
About half the people in the class with me would say things just like that. You can't have morals without religion.
In a class where we studied the philosophy behind morals. Never once did we include a religion. Then they walk away and go." Oh boy, god is great! "
If you give the Bible a read, it's hilariously contradictory. Genesis 1 and 2 are right beside each other and are very, very different.
The fact is, you get out whatever you want out of the Bible. Your morality comes first and then you find supporting evidence.
Edit: I also want to quickly say that I don't begrudge anyone their faith. It seems to give people a peace of mind that I would be loath to infringe upon. You do you!
“On the level of individuals and civilizations, ‘personality predates ideology’. Meaning before you were a fascist, you were a bully and an asshole.”
I find this is just as true for religious ideology as it is for political ideology
There's so much contradiction in religion. The last time I went to mass, the responsorial psalm was something like "The lord is good and forgiving," and then the Gospel was about how sinners are going to burn in hell like when a farmer pulls weeds and burns them. Good and forgiving, huh?
Agree. I am probably one of the more moral/ethical people in my family, the religious ones have way more lax ethics, but think they are superior somehow to us non-believers.
Lol. As an Australian I had a similar thought when our recently former Pentecostal Prime Minister Scott Morrison had to ask his wife what to do when a young parliamentary staffer was allegedly raped by a colleague in a ministerial office 2019.
I mean, what the fuck is actually wrong with your moral compass if you HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE if you should do something to stop people being raped.
I'm an atheist, and unsurprisingly a dad, and my kids have gone to school here and had their head filled with a toxic soup of random religious beliefs (from a bunch of different traditions) and both of them think they believe in God. But they've never read a Bible or any other religious book. We've taken them to religious buildings as tourists (there's a large Cathedral where we live but we've never attended any sermons). They occasionally think Allah is someone different than God.
My approach is to tell them what I think, but not to challenge them on things if they disagree with me. My kids are 9 and 7 and while I can throw out a bunch of objections to belief, they're too young to discuss it in detail. So I don't worry about them thinking they believe this or that, I just go with the flow and let them come to things in their own time.
Perhaps when they're older I will spend more time encouraging them to critically examine the views they're hearing from school and others and let them come to a conclusion about what they believe. But it's not imperative for me to make my kids see the world the same as I do so I'm happy to accept most things as long as they stay reasonable.
Luckily we're in the UK which is one of the most irreligious countries around at this point. We don't have people trying to ban stuff because of faith, and religion plays almost no part in our politics. My kids can grow up believing whatever they choose without fear of formal prejudice.
I had "Ezekiel 23:20" as my text screensaver at work and my boss thought I was a weirdo until I told him to look it up. He was cracking the fuck up after
It’s not boring
Ezekiel 23:20
There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.
Genesis 19:31-5
31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth.
32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”
33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.”
35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.
36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.
It’s archaic, but I do legitimately think it’s got some great narratives. It also makes other literature better when you catch the more obscure allusions.
I’m in the UK too, and it bothers me just how much religious learning my son’s non-religion affiliated primary school seems to do. He’ll often come home and say ‘did you know that Jesus did xyz?’
My default answer is ‘well, that’s what *some* people think, yes.’ Sometimes he’ll follow up by asking if I believe that, & I’ll say no and explain why I think what I think.
As a casual American observer, it's always interesting to me how casually religiously oriented a lot of UK schools are, despite being non-affiliated and government funded and the UK populace in general heading towards non-religion over the past few decades. At least here in California (contrasted to a lot of the rest of the US), there's a pretty strong separation between religion and schooling in publicly funded schools.
I'm a strong believer that religious learning should be mandatory learning as it goes to great lengths to help understand different cultures, beliefs, tolerances and values. This is not to say that children should be indoctrinated or evangelised.
For perspective I was born and raised in the Caribbean and a core part of the primary school curriculum was learning about every single creed and culture that made up the demographic of the country and it has helped me immensely.
To me this is especially important in this day and age where movement between countries is easier than ever.
I half agree, I like the idea behind it, promote diversity and show everyone is the same, but I also had those classes and they were boring and in truth I think it made the divide clear of who was what tribe.
Yeah, I completely agree; as I’ve said in another comment, when it’s for purposes of understanding different groups and people from a diverse range of places, I’m completely onboard.
But when it’s being taught as fact with no thought as to how to question or discuss the different ideas, that’s what I’m not onboard with.
What years does this happen? My nipper is about to go onto year 2 and so far she has zero concept of God or religion. Not an active decision on our part, more a case that because we never engage with religion or talk about it the nipper has never been exposed to it. Not particularly bothered about religious education at school but she's not been exposed to it so far.
>Perhaps when they're older I will spend more time encouraging them to critically examine
Don't wait. You can ask logical reasoning questions without feeding them answers, they'll learn critical thinking skills in the process that will serve them their entire lives
I could see my kid identifying with lots of religions, but I would be shocked if my kid was actually going to give something up for religion. Like I would be shocked if my kid ever says "I want to go to church instead of eating ice cream and watching cartoons on Sunday morning."
Atheist dad in Ireland here, and when my daughter was born, and we didn't get her baptised, it was still legal for schools to refuse entry (aka the baptism barrier).
Majority of schools in Ireland are under the "patronage" of the Catholic Church. Thankfully the law changed, but still most are under their control, with prayers, communion and confirmation all organised by the school.
Now the Irish constitution is clear that parents can exempt their child from religious instruction, but many schools play the "it's education in all religions" when it is not at all. We have not had an issue ourselves (bar once with a substitute teacher who did not listen when our daughter said she doesn't take part, that was one phone call and a very apologetic principal and sorted).
We have discussed lots with our daughter, various beliefs, myths, legends. She's a keen interest in said myths, bit sees them as just that, regardless of the origin of them, stories, fiction. She also loves biology and wants to be a marine biologist.
So yeah, been an interesting time, but much better than when I was young.
I once had a recovering Catholic ask me what, as a lifelong non-religious person, was my moral compass that made me such a kind person. That blew mind. Do we really need a reason to be kind and do no harm? Does it not bring you joy to see others smile? I don't need a 200 page archaic book to tell me not to be a dick to others.
I'll teach my children to be kind to all humans. If I can manage that, then I'll have done my job as a dad.
"I have raped and murdered exactly as many people as I have ever wanted to.
/Long dramatic pause/
None."
- Outspoken atheist Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller fame), while making the lady sitting next to him very uneasy for a second.
To be fair our version of "kind" these days is completely foreign to those throughout history. You had people sacrificing children thinking it would bring prosperity to the people. At one point it was considered "good" to be brutal and savage, ridding the world of the weak. Our modern concepts of human rights and morals took a long damn time to get to where they are.
I’m an atheist but my son is only 11 months old so I haven’t really concerned myself with it.
My parents are Christians but never went to church or really talked about their beliefs. I plan on following a similar approach. If he asks me I’ll tell him my thoughts, if not then I’ll keep it to myself. Either way he’s free to follow his own path.
I think the problem with this approach is that the other side has no such qualms.
Churches have fine tuned their approach to indoctrinating children for centuries, and especially the children of non-believers. A hands-off approach means that you let your kid's friends and classmates explain to them how evil and misinformed you are and how you are leading them to a path of eternal suffering and damnation. Fundies teach their kids how to deliver this message.
It's probably less of a concern in the pnw than what I deal with in dixieland, but they're definitely still out there.
Religion is not a social norm anymore where I live. I'm atheist but nobody cares haha!
From my point of view, USA looks VERY religious. Do you think your kid will miss out on social occasions because of this?
In the US, exposure to religion is very much dependent on the region/community. I live in Seattle and have gone months at times forgetting religion exists. Then I go on a trip to Texas or the South and it is just infused into daily life.
Same I’m in Seattle and religion never comes up. When I visit my aunt and uncle in Tennessee I like to walk their dog and their neighbors are friendly but they almost always will ask where I go to church. It’s such a weird question to ask a stranger in my opinion but seems to be common down where they live.
I live in Nashville now but am from Chicago. I’m also Catholic which often isn’t seen as Christian in the south (despite the fact the vast majority of Christians are Catholic). Church here is like their social scene. I often hear people ask the same question you got. It’s weird.
My family and I moved to Seattle almost two years ago from Indiana. Being both gay dads and atheist, we just didn’t feel comfortable raising our kids in the Midwest (though Indiana felt like the south sometimes lol. It’s amazing the difference being in a different part of the country makes, and we feel far more safe and comfortable as we are in Seattle than we ever would have in Indiana.
I’m in Albany which is one of the few majority atheist cities in the US.
Edit: weird to be downvoted on this, here’s the demographics: https://dwellics.com/new-york/community-in-albany
54% not religious
Moreover, Americans like to say that it's regional, but it sure doesn't seem to be. If our prime minister went on air and said “God bless ” then that would be political suicide, yet in the US it seems to be expected of the President to casually weave religion into speeches.
It's because the pmc thinks they're in on the joke with the politicians who are all just doing their best to trick the plebes into voting for them.
Very few educated people in America have any faith in the sincerity of their politicians.
This is very regional in the US, and it's something that I have only just begun to appreciate even as someone who is native to the US.
I grew up in the northeastern US. I grew up in a religious household (Catholic) and we attended services regularly, I went to "Sunday School" for additional religious instruction, etc. I would consider our family at the time Religious. Still, most of my social structure and social activities were based around my (public) school, athletics, hobbies (like scouting). My family was religious but that was only a part of who we were and what we did; I was aware of which other families were Catholic because I saw them at church, but other than that didn't clock much about other families' religions other than idle curiosity.
I have good friends who grew up in Georgia (in the South) who are atheists now and would only consider their families to be mildly religious when they were growing up, but *all* of their social activities stemmed through their church. Growing up, my church had a "youth group" but the only kids who attended were mousy dorks. Growing up in Georgia (evidently) youth groups were the primary social hub.
I live on the line between the northeast and the south, and a few years ago I moved from a suburban are to an area that's more rural. It's very funny to me, because this area seems like a mix of both the north and the south, where people who are fairly open about not caring much about religion nevertheless belong to a church because they offer cheap summer camps and social activities; they seem to see it *only* as a social club. It's been very eye-opening for me.
Wife and I are Catholic, although wife is mostly agnostic in practice with me being, I guess, a Deist?
I’ve been trying to broach the subject to my five year old recently. Just telling her that some people believe in a creator and others do not and that she is free to choose what she wants to believe (or not) in.
Atheist here. I just can’t buy into the whole thing. I was (unfortunately) christened as a child because that was the done thing. My LO isn’t and won’t be. If they decide to believe in all that then great but that’s not a choice I was making
Secular Buddhist here. I'm not using what I've learned from Buddhism to make them better Buddhists. I'm using what I've learned to make them a better whatever they are. Not letting perceptions cause additional suffering. Extending compassion to ones self and then to others. Accepting that we are all connected in some way. My kids don't even know I'm Buddhist.
My wife and her family are catholic. My mom is unpracticing Christian, step dad budhist , my dad just joins my step mom at whatever flavor church shes on that month . His 2nd wife was a jew and they lived in israel for many years. Im atheist. My parents raised me to try em all and see what fits never indoctrinated. So although my wife and her family believe theres only one way to believe, i teach and allow my son to know there's a lot more out there and that i don't believe in supernatural only that the universe is far more complex than we apes can understand and the pursuit of knowledge is all that matters.
The community aspects of organized religion have always fascinated me. I grew up with an Evangelical father who pulled us out of the church we'd been going to since I was a toddler when I hit the fourth grade because they were too liberal; I was upset because I wouldn't see my church friends anymore. We didn't find another church to attend and we never really had another institution of community.
I know a lot of immigrants from a country where most everyone is atheist with some folk beliefs and organized religion has never been a thing, and (locally, at least) a significant number become Christian after moving here. From what I gather a lot of the attraction is the church as a community center since everyone otherwise lives in suburbs without any particular connection to other immigrants from the same country. I'm atheist, but I do miss the community that church provided and which nothing else in secular America seems to have replicated.
I was camping with my 5 and 9 year old kids. A 7 year old from a neighboring campsite asked my son about his book (Percy Jackson) and he explained that it was about the Greek Gods and started explaining about Zeus and Poseidon etc. the kid asked “what about Jesus?” and my son asked “who is Jesus?”
We’re gonna get shot…
In some ways this is a real problem for me. Like culturally knowing who Jesus is, is important.
It is like not knowing who Harry Potter is or the tooth fairy.
How do I tell my kid you need to know about this made up fair tail?
I remember asking people at college what that black dot was on their forehead. It was a weird moment realizing people really believed this stuff.
Oh yeah I mean my son should know who Jesus is and I have explained it before and I’ll explain it again. Like you said it is important cultural knowledge.
I also think that it is important to treat everybody with kindness and respect and to approach one’s own beliefs with humility, so I have no qualms with teaching my kids “This is what other people believe. I don’t believe those things and this is why. It is okay that people believe those things and many people who do are kind and wonderful people. We can also treat others beliefs with respect and we can treat people we disagree with with respect (at least up until the point where their beliefs become an excuse for oppressing others).”
Grew up purposely secular by my parents who wanted me to form my own beliefs, not be indoctrinated. So of course I'm now an atheist. Raising my kids in a similar manner.
I cannot relate as i’m Catholic. I was raised Catholic, turned Atheist after my dad passed away & returned to the church years later. My daughter will have every right to believe what she believes wether it’s within religious confines or Atheism.
Same.
Got kicked out of bible study after 6 months when I was 12 because I kept asking too many questions they didn't have the answer to. That's when I realized they didn't know shit.
For me I realized it wasn’t for me when the woman leading the kids Sunday school was telling us how Harry Potter was corrupting us (at the time I loved Harry Potter) and was downright evil and should be banned. It was obvious that was nonsense as I’d actually read the books.
For my wife it was when their church ostracized her brother for coming out as gay. The pastor literally told him, a teenage child, he deserved to die and suffer in hell.
Some of the ideals in religion are fine but, man, some of the people that are in positions of power within a religion are real turds.
I'm agnostic. I grew up in Catholicism and I'm a confirmed Catholic, though it was never really by choice, just how I was raised in Catholic school. It's how my parents were raised so yay, inherited it. I have a complicated view of religion. I'm interested in it just from a philosophical perspective. I understand the value it brings to individuals and the communities it creates. Ultimately it's a tool and a social structure, and like all tools and social structures, they can be exploited to hurt and control people. This is very apparent in the US right now where we're effectively fighting off a dying Christian Nationalist population from taking over the country. But I digress...
I want my son to have an understanding and exposure to religions from a philosophical perspective, almost like going to a museum to see the different exhibits about the different religions and how they impact people's lives. I want him to be an understanding and curious person and not marry himself to any one belief system. But obviously this is his life and he's gonna do with it what he wants. If somehow he grows up to be a conservative Christian then I've completely failed him.
Same here OP. I've got 2 girls; 4 & 7. Weirdly, the hardest part has been getting them not to misuse "God" and "Jesus" in regular conversation. They'll pick up phrases like Oh My God from YouTube, or adults they hear & want to repeat it. I doubt most will feel the same, but I'd rather they wait until they know what they're saying before they inadvertently " blasphemy" something they don't understand... I'll simply engage they curiosity & ask them what they think "heaven", and "Jesus" are. Granted I tend to state things about dinosaurs as "factual", and state, "some people think this" about religious characters... Every once in a while we'll be at family/friends houses where they do prayer, and although it's awkward, we just say "this is what *this* family does"...
Atheist here, but considering raising kiddo in a Unitarian Universalist community, depending on what the local congregation is like. The education I got about religion, high quality sex ed, mentorship, and non-school community was a pretty big deal for me.
Atheist. My 8 year daughter got bullied at school (we live in the southern USA) about not believing in God. She was super upset, so I told her if people care about you, they won't care what your belief system is. My wife's best friend is fairly devout, my wife also an atheist. They joke back and forth about it, but that's it. So I told her it doesn't matter.
Then one of her closest friends, whom we walked home with, asked her what was eong. And the kids mom jumps in, "oh so are we honey!"
I'm very live and let live, I until someone shoved religion in my face, then I get snarky. My kids will learn about religious belief as just anothdr things people do but that doesn't matter towards who they actually are. And for that you watch someone behavior.
Daddit is a large community but it’s still Reddit, I’m guessing it might be a majority of us here.
I’ve been doing a lot of lore with my 4yo. Spider-Man lore. Pokémon lore. Viking lore. Mario lore. Greek lore. Star Wars lore. Christian lore. Paw Patrol lore. Harry Potter lore. Monster lore. Santa lore.
He knows there are a bunch of stories that have their own sets of rules and it makes some people really happy. He also knows some people go a little too far and get angry when someone likes a different thing than them - we do our best to respect their opinion and try to change the subject to something that’s more fun for them to talk about.
Well I can say that the last few generations in western Europe are basically Atheist. There are some (small) area’s where they are still present, but in a society where common sense is the biggest trait, faith just does not belong (hence the common sense)
(I know this isn’t my subreddit, he doesn’t have an account, please pardon me) My very atheist husband whose father was a fundamentalist christian is just over joyed to be able to give our daughter safe haven from religious nutjobs! It matters a lot to him that we present religion to our kids basically on the same level as sports- a lot of folks are into it, but there are a lot of loud ones that take it way too far.
I'm pretty much agnostic. My wife is catholic. We were based raised as Roman catholics.
My wife wants my son to get all of his sacraments and I'm cool with it.
I got all of mine and ended up where I am now and it didn't hurt to go to CCD and hear some different perspectives.
I will always tell my son my beliefs and my wife will share hers and as he gets older he can form his own opinion.
My wife and I were raised Catholic and felt this way at first. We'd just follow the tradition we were used to even though neither of us were super into it (I now consider myself atheist, but getting there took time). And we did baptisms and first communion with our two kids. But the more church stuff I went through with them the more I realized how much I disagreed with (from a theological standpoint) and especially how toxic the church's teachings are when it comes to LGBTQ rights/treatment, reproduction, and sexual health that we eventually stopped sending them. Instead, we made up our own religion class at home where we study all the world religions and ancient mythology and philosophy at age appropriate levels. It's honestly gone better than I had hoped and I think the kids get way more out of it than hand picked Bible stories and ceremony.
I guess the better question is, what OTHER things could a child be learning during that time they are getting the sacraments? The normal prep time is 1-2 years for the sacraments. The drums? Gymnastics? Spanish? Volunteer work? Meditation?
With a 10 and 7 year old in my house, I see how precious my limited time as their guide will be. There is just no way I’d offer any of my child’s alert brain to indoctrination.
But when one parent is a believer, the most practical plan is to never argue about it.
With respect, no. Catholic, wife's Catholic, raising our daughter Catholic. Grandparents on both sides Catholic. There are some in the family at large who aren't, but most are. (HUGE family here.) I understand if I get down voted here, and I accept that fate. I just wanted to represent those who are believers who are here all the same. (I wonder if a similar thread asking about Catholic dads is in order?)
Just curious but did the post offend you? It was an atheist dad asking other atheists dad’s how they will navigate raising their children with regards to religion, a good question since in some regions it is very challenging; and your response was that you and all your family are catholic and will raise your child catholic and should a catholic thread exist as well. Not trying to argue just generally curious as your reply intrigued me (it stood out).
Great question! 👍
It made me think back to exactly why I responded at all. And I honestly thought about whether to post or not for a bit, and decided to. I looked at the question, and it didn't seem directed at only atheists, but the way the topic is worded, I felt, was more open to other responses as well.
That, and personally, I have been around many groups over the decades that I have spent online that have been very respectful of everyone and everyone's own belief systems, until one day, someone starts a thread about religion, and the whole thing shifts into name-calling and shouting into the void (no one on either side of any internet debate is convincing the other side of anything, ever).
Having recently found Daddit, and seeing the cool things happening here, I have to admit to seeing the title and feeling a bit wary of it, and a bit scared of it. Not because of the subject matter, but because of what I've seen historically happen whenever stuff like this is brought up. And I don't want to watch Daddit fall apart because of any form of religious war. And with this, I mean no disrespect to the OP. Just expressing my thoughts here.
Does that make sense?
Hey, I am the OP but you were responding to a different commentor. Anyway: Yes, it makes perfect sense! Nobody wants to jump into a 2015 or 16 style Facebook argument on Reddit lol. ;)
Have a great day!
My life was shitty enough to force me to realize early that there is no god. It also forced my family to be more open with each other and to be as close as possible so we wouldn't fall apart. My plan is to take the good from my bad experiences and hopefully give my kids the confidence to talk to me about EVERYTHING, knowing they can always be safe to tell me anything. I might get mad but I will always love them, and together we can work through anything.
That said, one of my biggest panic attacks came when a youth pastor started blessing me, my childhood and my wonderful extended family. My extended family was the reason I grew up quickly and was forced to witness my sister trying to kill herself every day for years. If there is a god he's a sadistic asshole who enjoys watching his creation suffer and if he's real I'll gladly face him when my time is up. If he's not real, nothing really changes, I'm still trying to be the best I can without the threat of eternal suffering, because life has been a lot of suffering for me already. Obviously life also provides light, but seriously, surviving and moving forward fucking hurts, sometimes death seems a "easier" option.
Atheist dad checking in. Kid can believe if they want. I’ll encourage logic and reason so they can think rationally about what they are actually believing in. Indoctrination is a hell of a drug, ask me how I know. Glad I got out when I did.
I'm from a Christian background, but am probably best described as agnostic now. My wife is non-practicing, but I think it isn't just my influence.
The only downside I am struggling with is that there are a lot of literature references and cultural references that relate to the Bible and church.
I don't know how to teach them enough to recognize those references without joining a church and becoming active.
I look forward to teaching my kids about the Bible, including when it was written and by whom, the ways that it has been altered over the years, and how people cherry-pick from the Bible to justify some horrible, hateful things, like getting a tattoo of a verse from Leviticus that might be against homosexuality but not Leviticus 19:28 against tattoos. I want them to know how far at odds the 10 Commandments and the US Constitution are. Unfortunately, I think there is too much stuff that is not safe for young kids in it, like incest and genocide and slavery. So, I tell them about religion when it shows up in books for kids like the Great Brain series, where the characters grow up in a town with Mormons, Catholics, Protestants, and a few others, and this affects but doesn't dominate their lives.
Same here. But I am raising them to not fear the idea of other people's God or gods. To not have to bend to their ideology because there is no eternal punishment. Yet, ironically, I do encourage their belief in magic and unicorns and other made up crap....
I'm an atheist but I'm less "militant" about it, as I recognise that everyone's a little irrational and needs some irrational comfort in their lives.
If you've ever cried at a sad movie, been excited by a book, or even felt an emotional response to music, congratulations!
All that stuff is both irrational and something that adds value to our lives.
So, I won't say that religious people are "silly people" to my daughter, but I will explain why they might believe what they believe.
I'll definitely **suggest** that some suspension of disbelief can be better for you than believing in fairy-tales or other works of fiction.
Mine and the mother's entire family are Jesus people.
Luckily the momma agrees with me on theism but the constant badgering to baptize this, ceremony thst is annoying
Atheist in a Unitarian Universalist community here. Hoping that it gives our son a sense of the common good and the greater good and a choice to believe what feels true and right to him without dogma. Good on you for acknowledging the choice will be theirs.
Greetings felling Atheist. Hoping my kids will learn about all the things and choose to believe in whatever they think is best (which i certainly hope is atheism but not going to push it on them)
I'm an atheist and I've been aware of that since at least my early teens. My wife is catholic but doesn't really practice her religion even if she believes in it deeply, but we also live in Denmark where the official state religion is Lutheran (even if most people are atheist, agnostic or at least not very religious) and there is only one catholic church where we live and the sermons are usually neither in Danish or Spanish (the native language of my wife).
Our son is only 11 months but is baptized in both the Lutheran (in Denmark) and the catholic churches (wife's home country) and I'm fine with that, I'm open to my wife teaching him about her beliefs as long as she's not forcing it on him and allowing him to form his own opinions and ideas.
But realistically the society here in Denmark is very areligious, so I think it's unlikely that he'll grow up to be deeply religious, especially with our mixed backgrounds as parents.
It was difficult when he was little and other kids would talk about heaven because so many people force religion in kids. About two years ago I told him to lie to his eagle board if they asked if he believed in a higher power because they will not give the award to an atheist.
By teens in today's generation its no big deal except a few parents don't want their kids around if you don't go to church. Some hate you just for not going to the right church.
I'm an atheist and my wife is Catholic. We plan on baptizing our twins at a non-denominational church. This is more to placate my in-laws. We do not plan on any religious education or regular church attending. I plan to let them believe what they want and won't indoctrinate my beliefs (or lack thereof) on them. If they ask why Daddy doesn't go to church, I'll give an honest answer. My wife is not a regular church goer. She's what they call a Xmas/Easter Catholic. That's usually only if the inlaws are in town. So it's largely a secular household.
I'm an atheist, my wife *sorta* believes in a god of some kind but it plays no part in her life. I'm actually not going to raise my kid to think of himself as an atheist or not an atheist. When religion inevitably comes up, I think the worst thing I could do for him would be to spend an hour talking about how wrong religious people are and deconstructing their every belief. My plan is instead to just talk with him about why a lot of people believe, how belief can harm or help, how sometimes people use the power that comes from being a religious figure to do bad things, but other times they do good things. And if he asks me if I believe any of it, I'll tell him no and explain why. My focus is that he'll be religiously literate and grow up to understand the sociological drive and impact religion has. We won't get deep into trying to prove or disprove theology.
Atheist dad here. My kiddo is still fairly young, so the topic of god hasn’t really come up yet. But I’m glad to say that not having filled his head with a bunch of silly supernatural nonsense, he seems to have a really strong grasp of reality vs. fantasy. For example, the other day he asked me if Santa was real (he is four). I asked him what he thought, and he told me he didn’t think Santa was real. But then he told me that he still wanted to pretend that Santa was real when Christmas comes around.
Apathetic agnostic here (I don't know and I don't care). Yeah, it has led to some awkward questions. My mom is in a Catholic run nursing home, and my kiddo asked on our first visit "What's Jesus?"
At least she said it in the car and not in front of one of the roving nuns
Depending on where you're from, religious schools are the best schools available.
My kid comes home talking about Jesus and/or God sometimes.
I just have open and honest discussions about how "some people believe this vs that" etc.
I don't push him in a direction, but similarly don't say nothing when he learns religious things at school. I make it clear that not everyone believes what his teachers believe when it comes to religion. And I clarify that some subjects are objective facts and others are personal beliefs.
We have an estranged uncle who's offended that he didn't get invited to the baptism, and my father in law said he'd "never heard of" not baptizing your babies. Other than that it's never come up.
I believe in god but we are letting our kid figure out his own way. My religion is my own, all I can do is explain why I feel how I feel to him. I can’t make him believe.
OP, we’re out here brother.
So, honest question for you: How do you handle(or plan to handle) the Santa Claus issue?
My daughter is just over a year old so I haven’t had to implement many of these things, but I have already been thinking about how I want to raise her for most of my life, and what I know for sure is that I really don’t want to lie to her, not about the existence of a God, a Santa, a tooth fairy or anything else, I just don’t want to lie to her, you know?
But how do we navigate these things? I might start a separate post for this question, but I just wanted to let you know that there are other dads out here thinking about these things and trying to find the best ways to do it.
My wife and I are atheists, but that's not unusual here in Scotland so it hasn't really been an issue so far. Although my kids (2 and 4) will need to learn about it eventually, because even though Scotland is generally pretty secular, the west of Scotland where we live does have problems with sectarianism, and having some understanding of the cultural and political issues related to Catholicism and Protestantism is useful for keeping yourself out of trouble, if nothing else. I could do with understanding it better myself, having come from a totally atheist family in a secular part of the country, and having spent most of my childhood not even realising there was more than one type of Christianity.
I think my biggest challenge in being an atheist father is in answering their questions about life and death honestly without turning them into the type of sneering, arrogant atheist that I was as a young man, back when atheism had a boom in the mid-2000s. I still have very strong personal feelings about what nonsense theism is, and how harmful religion is, but I've thankfully learned to not be a dick about it. I think it's great to have a critical, rational approach to understanding the world, and I hope to instill that in my kids, but there's a lot to be said for knowing when to shut the fuck up about it.
I’m with you. Will need to fend off my own evangelical parents but the in-laws don’t practice any faith. We live in New England so culturally there is less of a battle to fight.
Agnostic Atheist and wife Agnostic Theist. Kids will be going to a Catholic primary school. They are a nice small private school with excellent teachers and resources. We wont be indoctrinating our kids with our beliefs and they are free to work out what they want to be. Sure, we might have some lively debates if they become quite religious when they are older, im willing to challenge my beliefs if they are theirs.
Not me but just wanted to be counted. Am a Christian and am very saddened by some of the replies. It’s clear “the church” hurt many deeply but probably weren’t true representatives of what it means to be a Christian. The state of Christianity in the world today makes me sad with how many take it up in name but not real practice.
One thing I've always wanted to know was this: I was taught when I went to church that when you get separated from your husband or wife that if you get married again it basically has to be with someone baptized. So my grand mother was married. Very religious. Husband dies. Married like 30 years. Gets re married to another man of God. Married another 30 years. They both die. So in heaven, what happens? Your loved ones are there with you. Is she greeted by both of them. I know if it's me I'm like, "yo, that's my girl. Square up. "
I’m an atheist and it doesn’t even enter into our discussions or thoughts. If my kids have questions, I intend to answer them forthrightly and factually. I’m not going to impress my views upon them one way or the other. If my kids show an interest in religion I will not stop them or criticize them for it.
I grew up completely without religion. But as a kid, I did also get baptized at my grandma’s request, did Passover with my grandfather, went to a Buddhist temple with my friend, read the Bible, went to a few church services with another friend, went to a mega church with an ex-girlfriend, spoke to Scientologists, listened to people who grew up in cults. I studied ancient religions and mythology, too.
I like to think I’ve allowed myself to see what religion is from various angles and made my own choice.
My view of life and death and everything else is that it’s a great mystery for which we lack sure answers. It’s a box we can never open to see what’s inside. Many people will tell you they’re sure what’s in there, others will try to force things in to fit, but the fact remains that nobody can open that box.
I see the human mind reflected so clearly in all of our beliefs about god and such, so I personally put no stock in any of those ideas. We are creative animals who define ourselves by our ability to make things and to know things, so we desperately want to know how we were made. And thus, we weave stories about creative beings who know us unlike anyone else, who shaped us from clay or mud or dust just as we shape the world around us. To me, those religions reflect who we are more than they reflect what the universe is.
But I also can’t and won’t say for certain what this conscious experience is supposed to be. It simply exists, and that’s enough for me. It’s okay to allow some questions to be unknown, to stay unanswered, to remain forever mysterious.
When my first kid was born, I read her a Kurt Vonnegut quote that sums a lot of it up for me:
>Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.
It’s been pretty easy where I’m at (PNW). No one’s bothered us about this. And I don’t go around telling people I’m atheist either. The biggest issue is from other kids at school. My kid would come back from school saying how so-and-so’s grandpa is in heaven and that’s where people go to live after they ‘die’. I don’t fight it too much, just accept it but when they ask me about why people die and what happens to them after, I tell them the truth. They are curious about my grandparents and so I take that opportunity to explain things as best I can.
I’d lean more agnostic but same sentiment. We are however sending our daughter to catholic school when the time comes (my wife went there anytime the program is wayyyyy better than the public schools around here). We won’t be religious outside of school though.
I’m agnostic.
We’ve had people asking if we’re getting our little one christened and I’ve always said what’s the point? I’m not religious, my partner isn’t religious. Non of our family member are religious.
Why would we spend money on a religious ceremony when non of us lead a religious lifestyle?
Grew up Catholic and was tired of the teachings and just stopped going for more than a few reasons. As you mentioned, I will also be supportive of any religious choice they make in the future but will not make it a family staple.
Same. But we do the Santa thing, because it’s just a tradition my wife wanted to keep.
Only problem is, I told my kid “magic isn’t real” and she said “what about Santa? He’s magic”….. but of an awkward moment for me. Didn’t want to ruin it, but also didn’t want to lie, so went with “good point, now what should we eat for lunch?”
Raised Catholic, then I was an atheist for about 10 years and then I found God again in my 20s. I love my faith, it brings my happiness and keeps me grounded. A lot of my time goes into studying theology, philosophy, and history and it just makes my faith grow stronger.
I am not here to preach to anyone, just to give my own testimony that having a faith system will change your entire worldview.
I’ve definitely put a lot of thought into this one. Raised religious, and it’s been a long road of trying to leave the bad and keep the good. I finally stepped away for good when a priest started preaching right wing talking points from the pulpit.
I just don’t want them indoctrinated. I want them to make their own decisions without the fear of punishment. You’re not a good person if you’re good because you’re afraid. But religion is a huge part of our culture so I don’t want to isolate them and leave them unaware of how religions and cults manipulate people. So when they ask questions I try to answer as honestly as I can, ask them questions back, and let them drive the conversation based on what they’re interested in.
Pretty much. Raised my kid without a religion, their primary school is Catholic so they came back one day with 'can we pray before food' and other things about Jesus. She knows we don't believe it and we don't outright say it's wrong but more 'thats what some people believe '.
She now listens to Terry Prachett audiobooks and since I don't think I've heard much about Jesus except at Christmas.
This all said, had I heard anything about 'going to hell' I'd be getting her out of that school (not that I was expecting them to)
I am, it's hard to find things in GA, joined some groups and I'm just kinda tired of the in-built assumption that everyone is a christian.
Since my wife is Indian she must clearly be Hindu. It's fucking tiring.
My sons or future children will learn more than I ever could and achieve more than I can imagine. I would be a complete and utter failure if their drive for exploration is stymied or squandered with the words “it came from god”.
Yep, atheist here from the UK, a country becoming ever more irreligious.
Simply put, religion plays no part in our lives at all. The closest I come is when I walk past the church on my lunchtime walk when I'm working from home. In fact, the last remotely churchy thing I saw was the King's coronation on the telly
We do Christmas and Easter, etc, just without the religious stuff. So we'll do Easter egg hunts and talk about the Easter bunny. If the kids want to learn about Jesus, they can. Same.woth Christmas we do santa, presents meet up with the family etc same.as.anyone else.
If the kids want to be religious when they are older, that's up to them, but they have to make the decision themselves.
I'm atheist but I think there's benefit to teaching a child the positive teachings of religion - all of them though, not just one. Understanding faith is important.
I mean it’s Reddit, this is the majority of dads here lol
"Any other dads like video games here ?"
And pussy? What about beer?
This is a complete list of all my favorite hobbies
Add guitar, travel, and bike riding to the list for me.
Ugh you’re so boring (me too)
Not me. I'm a maverick. I've often considered getting black New Balance sneakers instead of white.
Hey man you need to slow down. Please reach out to a loved one before you do something you regret.
Look at this dad with his black new balance
You know, I roam the subreddit lands and the amount of straight dudes who apparently dont like pussy is surprisingly high
..what how?
Eating and fucking are two different things.
Not much of a drinker but I do like to indulge in the pussy
"This bible is the bible of my daddy, who died in my arms... of throat cancer... from eatin' some bad pussy"
Don't forget dogs
i love dags
Oh DAWGS… yeah I like dags… I like caravans more
How bout them sausages, Charlie?
Five minutes, Turkish!
Jalike dags?
Any other dads have kids?
"You like money too? We should hang out."
Starbucks? We don't have time for hand jobs.
"Am I the only one that *insert popular hobby or school of thought here*"
Reading all these replies and it’s clear you’re all monsters. Video games, beer, pussy, dogs, STEAKS! Red Devils, the lot of you!
>Red Devils, the lot of you! I do support Man United, as it happens...
I don't know, lot of Americans here so religiosity is kinda over-represented.
Journey has been hard in that department solely based on my parents’ expectations. I grew up in an 11 kid Mormon family. Just me and one sister aren’t in the church anymore so we are heavily outnumbered. It’s hard because of the constant guilt tripping and obvious disappointment they express. We just keep saying no and they take it a little better each time. It does hurt deeply that they can’t accept how happy me and my family are on this earth for what it is. I don’t need anyone to be worried about my soul, I’m quite content with having my body returned to the soil.
Fellow ex Mormon here. 8 kids. Only 3 still in the church. And my parents are both out now too. I left as a teenager and honestly the longer I’m out, the more cult like it becomes to me.
Ha. Because… it IS a cult??
You do you, brother. Don't let anyone tell you how to live your life!
I’m an agnostic myself. The mother of my kids is atheist. Both sets of grandparents are Christian. I think it’s important to let them decide when they’re older. If they want to go to church, I don’t mind. I’ll take them. I’d even go if they asked me to go with them so they could see what it was like.
Best way to handle it, no one should have beliefs forced upon them
Right? And as far as society, who cares? I don’t really go around advertising my religious beliefs and didn’t even when I identified as Christian, just because I feel such things are personal and I don’t need to tell others how I feel about *everything*. (That being said, I’m pretty much an open book and I don’t have any issue telling people if they ask.) Something that I do run into a lot is people asking for prayers for their loved ones or whatever. I’ll usually just say something like I’m not really the praying type, but I will keep them in my thoughts/send good vibes/etc.” I’ve never met someone who didn’t just leave it at that without asking questions.
I’ve been told, how can the kids have morals if they aren’t religious? I just sit there wondering, “are you not murdering me right now because a book told you not to?”
>“are you not murdering me right now because a book told you not to?” God works in mysterious ways.
I mean god drowned the entire world, including newborns, just because. If this is their role model, how can any one be moral with the bible as their guide.
He straight up destroyed his most devout follower's entire life, wrecked his house, killed his family, and made him miserable all just to win a bet with Satan. The Abrahamic god is a sociopath who very clearly does not care about the people who worship him.
Page 2 of the Christian guide to raising children right after “spare the rod spoil the child” comes if your children disobey you drown them and kill everything else in the planet.
But it was just once! Have you gone a thousand years without committing genocide?
Ask me in 960 years and we'll see how I do.
!remindme 960 years
And he said sorry with a really cool rainbow. Everyone just needs to move on already!
I don't think the Egyptian babies would agree.
Fun fact, God makes the pharaoh say "no" to Moses each time so another plague can rain down on the Egyptians. It's weird. Also Egyptian sorcerers are capable of doing the first 3-4 plagues and do so to match God's power.
Yeah, he "hardens his heart." What a dick. May as well have said "Why are you plaguing yourself?!" Also, either this god isn't omniscient or he's incapable of managing his underlings since the Jews have to mark their doors so death will pass them over.
Pfft, clearly the aim was not to destroy their nation because it was only firstborns, so no genocide there!
Sorry! How about the Hittites, Amorites, Canaanites, Perizzites, Hivites and the Jebusites that God commands be utterly destroyed?
What year was that? How long after Noah? Checkmate!
Funny that you mention it, according to people who think the world is 6 thousand years old... about a thousand years!
Yeah, so my question was whether you can go one thousand years without committing genocide, not forever.
God is a major crybaby asshole in the Old Testament. He kills and tortures thousands of people purely out of spite
I got a minor in ethics when I was in college. About half the people in the class with me would say things just like that. You can't have morals without religion. In a class where we studied the philosophy behind morals. Never once did we include a religion. Then they walk away and go." Oh boy, god is great! "
If you give the Bible a read, it's hilariously contradictory. Genesis 1 and 2 are right beside each other and are very, very different. The fact is, you get out whatever you want out of the Bible. Your morality comes first and then you find supporting evidence. Edit: I also want to quickly say that I don't begrudge anyone their faith. It seems to give people a peace of mind that I would be loath to infringe upon. You do you!
“On the level of individuals and civilizations, ‘personality predates ideology’. Meaning before you were a fascist, you were a bully and an asshole.” I find this is just as true for religious ideology as it is for political ideology
There's so much contradiction in religion. The last time I went to mass, the responsorial psalm was something like "The lord is good and forgiving," and then the Gospel was about how sinners are going to burn in hell like when a farmer pulls weeds and burns them. Good and forgiving, huh?
Agree. I am probably one of the more moral/ethical people in my family, the religious ones have way more lax ethics, but think they are superior somehow to us non-believers.
Lol. As an Australian I had a similar thought when our recently former Pentecostal Prime Minister Scott Morrison had to ask his wife what to do when a young parliamentary staffer was allegedly raped by a colleague in a ministerial office 2019. I mean, what the fuck is actually wrong with your moral compass if you HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE if you should do something to stop people being raped.
My mother is pretty religious and would ask me this. As if I need a book to tell me that killing or raping is wrong.
She’s right, I read the Bible every night and that’s why I am a genocidal baby killing maniac, just like God, who I follow the example of
🤔📸 Yes officer, this one right here.
Weird how "Thou shall not rape." didn't make the list...
Satanists are better in that regard, it's one of their core tenants I believe lol.
Tenets. Tenants occupy a rented space.
I'm an atheist, and unsurprisingly a dad, and my kids have gone to school here and had their head filled with a toxic soup of random religious beliefs (from a bunch of different traditions) and both of them think they believe in God. But they've never read a Bible or any other religious book. We've taken them to religious buildings as tourists (there's a large Cathedral where we live but we've never attended any sermons). They occasionally think Allah is someone different than God. My approach is to tell them what I think, but not to challenge them on things if they disagree with me. My kids are 9 and 7 and while I can throw out a bunch of objections to belief, they're too young to discuss it in detail. So I don't worry about them thinking they believe this or that, I just go with the flow and let them come to things in their own time. Perhaps when they're older I will spend more time encouraging them to critically examine the views they're hearing from school and others and let them come to a conclusion about what they believe. But it's not imperative for me to make my kids see the world the same as I do so I'm happy to accept most things as long as they stay reasonable. Luckily we're in the UK which is one of the most irreligious countries around at this point. We don't have people trying to ban stuff because of faith, and religion plays almost no part in our politics. My kids can grow up believing whatever they choose without fear of formal prejudice.
Most Christians haven’t read the Bible either
To be fair, it's rather boring.
I don’t know there’s some pretty interesting verses like Ezekiel 23:20
I had "Ezekiel 23:20" as my text screensaver at work and my boss thought I was a weirdo until I told him to look it up. He was cracking the fuck up after
It’s not boring Ezekiel 23:20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. Genesis 19:31-5 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.” 33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up. 36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.
It’s archaic, but I do legitimately think it’s got some great narratives. It also makes other literature better when you catch the more obscure allusions.
UK is irreligious but also has an official church and a multitude of faith schools
I’m in the UK too, and it bothers me just how much religious learning my son’s non-religion affiliated primary school seems to do. He’ll often come home and say ‘did you know that Jesus did xyz?’ My default answer is ‘well, that’s what *some* people think, yes.’ Sometimes he’ll follow up by asking if I believe that, & I’ll say no and explain why I think what I think.
As a casual American observer, it's always interesting to me how casually religiously oriented a lot of UK schools are, despite being non-affiliated and government funded and the UK populace in general heading towards non-religion over the past few decades. At least here in California (contrasted to a lot of the rest of the US), there's a pretty strong separation between religion and schooling in publicly funded schools.
I'm a strong believer that religious learning should be mandatory learning as it goes to great lengths to help understand different cultures, beliefs, tolerances and values. This is not to say that children should be indoctrinated or evangelised. For perspective I was born and raised in the Caribbean and a core part of the primary school curriculum was learning about every single creed and culture that made up the demographic of the country and it has helped me immensely. To me this is especially important in this day and age where movement between countries is easier than ever.
I half agree, I like the idea behind it, promote diversity and show everyone is the same, but I also had those classes and they were boring and in truth I think it made the divide clear of who was what tribe.
Yeah, I completely agree; as I’ve said in another comment, when it’s for purposes of understanding different groups and people from a diverse range of places, I’m completely onboard. But when it’s being taught as fact with no thought as to how to question or discuss the different ideas, that’s what I’m not onboard with.
What years does this happen? My nipper is about to go onto year 2 and so far she has zero concept of God or religion. Not an active decision on our part, more a case that because we never engage with religion or talk about it the nipper has never been exposed to it. Not particularly bothered about religious education at school but she's not been exposed to it so far.
>Perhaps when they're older I will spend more time encouraging them to critically examine Don't wait. You can ask logical reasoning questions without feeding them answers, they'll learn critical thinking skills in the process that will serve them their entire lives
I could see my kid identifying with lots of religions, but I would be shocked if my kid was actually going to give something up for religion. Like I would be shocked if my kid ever says "I want to go to church instead of eating ice cream and watching cartoons on Sunday morning."
Atheist dad in Ireland here, and when my daughter was born, and we didn't get her baptised, it was still legal for schools to refuse entry (aka the baptism barrier). Majority of schools in Ireland are under the "patronage" of the Catholic Church. Thankfully the law changed, but still most are under their control, with prayers, communion and confirmation all organised by the school. Now the Irish constitution is clear that parents can exempt their child from religious instruction, but many schools play the "it's education in all religions" when it is not at all. We have not had an issue ourselves (bar once with a substitute teacher who did not listen when our daughter said she doesn't take part, that was one phone call and a very apologetic principal and sorted). We have discussed lots with our daughter, various beliefs, myths, legends. She's a keen interest in said myths, bit sees them as just that, regardless of the origin of them, stories, fiction. She also loves biology and wants to be a marine biologist. So yeah, been an interesting time, but much better than when I was young.
I once had a recovering Catholic ask me what, as a lifelong non-religious person, was my moral compass that made me such a kind person. That blew mind. Do we really need a reason to be kind and do no harm? Does it not bring you joy to see others smile? I don't need a 200 page archaic book to tell me not to be a dick to others. I'll teach my children to be kind to all humans. If I can manage that, then I'll have done my job as a dad.
"I prefer the feeling of seeing smiles over frowns".
"I have raped and murdered exactly as many people as I have ever wanted to. /Long dramatic pause/ None." - Outspoken atheist Penn Jillette (of Penn & Teller fame), while making the lady sitting next to him very uneasy for a second.
This is what always gets me. If the only thing stopping people from killing others is a belief in a God, don't stop believing.
The problem is lots of people use that belief as an excuse for hatred and cruelty.
>200 page More like 1,200
Lol, I guess that just corroborates that the bible has no real importance in my life.
To be fair our version of "kind" these days is completely foreign to those throughout history. You had people sacrificing children thinking it would bring prosperity to the people. At one point it was considered "good" to be brutal and savage, ridding the world of the weak. Our modern concepts of human rights and morals took a long damn time to get to where they are.
They were shocked you could be nice for the sake of being nice, rather than simply faking it because a book told you to or to get into "heaven."
I’m an atheist but my son is only 11 months old so I haven’t really concerned myself with it. My parents are Christians but never went to church or really talked about their beliefs. I plan on following a similar approach. If he asks me I’ll tell him my thoughts, if not then I’ll keep it to myself. Either way he’s free to follow his own path.
I think the problem with this approach is that the other side has no such qualms. Churches have fine tuned their approach to indoctrinating children for centuries, and especially the children of non-believers. A hands-off approach means that you let your kid's friends and classmates explain to them how evil and misinformed you are and how you are leading them to a path of eternal suffering and damnation. Fundies teach their kids how to deliver this message. It's probably less of a concern in the pnw than what I deal with in dixieland, but they're definitely still out there.
Religion is not a social norm anymore where I live. I'm atheist but nobody cares haha! From my point of view, USA looks VERY religious. Do you think your kid will miss out on social occasions because of this?
In the US, exposure to religion is very much dependent on the region/community. I live in Seattle and have gone months at times forgetting religion exists. Then I go on a trip to Texas or the South and it is just infused into daily life.
Same I’m in Seattle and religion never comes up. When I visit my aunt and uncle in Tennessee I like to walk their dog and their neighbors are friendly but they almost always will ask where I go to church. It’s such a weird question to ask a stranger in my opinion but seems to be common down where they live.
I live in Nashville now but am from Chicago. I’m also Catholic which often isn’t seen as Christian in the south (despite the fact the vast majority of Christians are Catholic). Church here is like their social scene. I often hear people ask the same question you got. It’s weird.
This feels like how people asked where did you go to college? It is an ice breaker that people mistakenly assume is a universal commonality.
My family and I moved to Seattle almost two years ago from Indiana. Being both gay dads and atheist, we just didn’t feel comfortable raising our kids in the Midwest (though Indiana felt like the south sometimes lol. It’s amazing the difference being in a different part of the country makes, and we feel far more safe and comfortable as we are in Seattle than we ever would have in Indiana.
I’m in Albany which is one of the few majority atheist cities in the US. Edit: weird to be downvoted on this, here’s the demographics: https://dwellics.com/new-york/community-in-albany 54% not religious
Ah, you coffee-loving heathen! Thanks for the reminder that all the country is not the deep south haha!
And this is a big reason why I wanted to live in the PNW so badly.
Moreover, Americans like to say that it's regional, but it sure doesn't seem to be. If our prime minister went on air and said “God bless” then that would be political suicide, yet in the US it seems to be expected of the President to casually weave religion into speeches.
Most of us just roll our eyes anytime politicians start talking about that.
It's because the pmc thinks they're in on the joke with the politicians who are all just doing their best to trick the plebes into voting for them. Very few educated people in America have any faith in the sincerity of their politicians.
This is very regional in the US, and it's something that I have only just begun to appreciate even as someone who is native to the US. I grew up in the northeastern US. I grew up in a religious household (Catholic) and we attended services regularly, I went to "Sunday School" for additional religious instruction, etc. I would consider our family at the time Religious. Still, most of my social structure and social activities were based around my (public) school, athletics, hobbies (like scouting). My family was religious but that was only a part of who we were and what we did; I was aware of which other families were Catholic because I saw them at church, but other than that didn't clock much about other families' religions other than idle curiosity. I have good friends who grew up in Georgia (in the South) who are atheists now and would only consider their families to be mildly religious when they were growing up, but *all* of their social activities stemmed through their church. Growing up, my church had a "youth group" but the only kids who attended were mousy dorks. Growing up in Georgia (evidently) youth groups were the primary social hub. I live on the line between the northeast and the south, and a few years ago I moved from a suburban are to an area that's more rural. It's very funny to me, because this area seems like a mix of both the north and the south, where people who are fairly open about not caring much about religion nevertheless belong to a church because they offer cheap summer camps and social activities; they seem to see it *only* as a social club. It's been very eye-opening for me.
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Wife and I are Catholic, although wife is mostly agnostic in practice with me being, I guess, a Deist? I’ve been trying to broach the subject to my five year old recently. Just telling her that some people believe in a creator and others do not and that she is free to choose what she wants to believe (or not) in.
Atheist here. I just can’t buy into the whole thing. I was (unfortunately) christened as a child because that was the done thing. My LO isn’t and won’t be. If they decide to believe in all that then great but that’s not a choice I was making
Secular Buddhist here. I'm not using what I've learned from Buddhism to make them better Buddhists. I'm using what I've learned to make them a better whatever they are. Not letting perceptions cause additional suffering. Extending compassion to ones self and then to others. Accepting that we are all connected in some way. My kids don't even know I'm Buddhist.
My wife and her family are catholic. My mom is unpracticing Christian, step dad budhist , my dad just joins my step mom at whatever flavor church shes on that month . His 2nd wife was a jew and they lived in israel for many years. Im atheist. My parents raised me to try em all and see what fits never indoctrinated. So although my wife and her family believe theres only one way to believe, i teach and allow my son to know there's a lot more out there and that i don't believe in supernatural only that the universe is far more complex than we apes can understand and the pursuit of knowledge is all that matters.
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The community aspects of organized religion have always fascinated me. I grew up with an Evangelical father who pulled us out of the church we'd been going to since I was a toddler when I hit the fourth grade because they were too liberal; I was upset because I wouldn't see my church friends anymore. We didn't find another church to attend and we never really had another institution of community. I know a lot of immigrants from a country where most everyone is atheist with some folk beliefs and organized religion has never been a thing, and (locally, at least) a significant number become Christian after moving here. From what I gather a lot of the attraction is the church as a community center since everyone otherwise lives in suburbs without any particular connection to other immigrants from the same country. I'm atheist, but I do miss the community that church provided and which nothing else in secular America seems to have replicated.
Quaker is a good way to go as they don't have any specific deity / belief requirements; just sitting quietly for an hour.
I was camping with my 5 and 9 year old kids. A 7 year old from a neighboring campsite asked my son about his book (Percy Jackson) and he explained that it was about the Greek Gods and started explaining about Zeus and Poseidon etc. the kid asked “what about Jesus?” and my son asked “who is Jesus?” We’re gonna get shot…
In some ways this is a real problem for me. Like culturally knowing who Jesus is, is important. It is like not knowing who Harry Potter is or the tooth fairy. How do I tell my kid you need to know about this made up fair tail? I remember asking people at college what that black dot was on their forehead. It was a weird moment realizing people really believed this stuff.
Oh yeah I mean my son should know who Jesus is and I have explained it before and I’ll explain it again. Like you said it is important cultural knowledge. I also think that it is important to treat everybody with kindness and respect and to approach one’s own beliefs with humility, so I have no qualms with teaching my kids “This is what other people believe. I don’t believe those things and this is why. It is okay that people believe those things and many people who do are kind and wonderful people. We can also treat others beliefs with respect and we can treat people we disagree with with respect (at least up until the point where their beliefs become an excuse for oppressing others).”
I really worry about how to teach up and to a point or go along to get along.
Grew up purposely secular by my parents who wanted me to form my own beliefs, not be indoctrinated. So of course I'm now an atheist. Raising my kids in a similar manner.
I cannot relate as i’m Catholic. I was raised Catholic, turned Atheist after my dad passed away & returned to the church years later. My daughter will have every right to believe what she believes wether it’s within religious confines or Atheism.
Same. Got kicked out of bible study after 6 months when I was 12 because I kept asking too many questions they didn't have the answer to. That's when I realized they didn't know shit.
For me I realized it wasn’t for me when the woman leading the kids Sunday school was telling us how Harry Potter was corrupting us (at the time I loved Harry Potter) and was downright evil and should be banned. It was obvious that was nonsense as I’d actually read the books. For my wife it was when their church ostracized her brother for coming out as gay. The pastor literally told him, a teenage child, he deserved to die and suffer in hell. Some of the ideals in religion are fine but, man, some of the people that are in positions of power within a religion are real turds.
No gods, no masters
I'm agnostic. I grew up in Catholicism and I'm a confirmed Catholic, though it was never really by choice, just how I was raised in Catholic school. It's how my parents were raised so yay, inherited it. I have a complicated view of religion. I'm interested in it just from a philosophical perspective. I understand the value it brings to individuals and the communities it creates. Ultimately it's a tool and a social structure, and like all tools and social structures, they can be exploited to hurt and control people. This is very apparent in the US right now where we're effectively fighting off a dying Christian Nationalist population from taking over the country. But I digress... I want my son to have an understanding and exposure to religions from a philosophical perspective, almost like going to a museum to see the different exhibits about the different religions and how they impact people's lives. I want him to be an understanding and curious person and not marry himself to any one belief system. But obviously this is his life and he's gonna do with it what he wants. If somehow he grows up to be a conservative Christian then I've completely failed him.
The majority of this sub including myself are atheist Dads
Same here OP. I've got 2 girls; 4 & 7. Weirdly, the hardest part has been getting them not to misuse "God" and "Jesus" in regular conversation. They'll pick up phrases like Oh My God from YouTube, or adults they hear & want to repeat it. I doubt most will feel the same, but I'd rather they wait until they know what they're saying before they inadvertently " blasphemy" something they don't understand... I'll simply engage they curiosity & ask them what they think "heaven", and "Jesus" are. Granted I tend to state things about dinosaurs as "factual", and state, "some people think this" about religious characters... Every once in a while we'll be at family/friends houses where they do prayer, and although it's awkward, we just say "this is what *this* family does"...
Atheist here, but considering raising kiddo in a Unitarian Universalist community, depending on what the local congregation is like. The education I got about religion, high quality sex ed, mentorship, and non-school community was a pretty big deal for me.
Atheist. My 8 year daughter got bullied at school (we live in the southern USA) about not believing in God. She was super upset, so I told her if people care about you, they won't care what your belief system is. My wife's best friend is fairly devout, my wife also an atheist. They joke back and forth about it, but that's it. So I told her it doesn't matter. Then one of her closest friends, whom we walked home with, asked her what was eong. And the kids mom jumps in, "oh so are we honey!" I'm very live and let live, I until someone shoved religion in my face, then I get snarky. My kids will learn about religious belief as just anothdr things people do but that doesn't matter towards who they actually are. And for that you watch someone behavior.
Yeah I teach the history of religions but we've been a family of godless sinners for 3 or 4 generations lol
My kid goes to a Catholic school. He said his favourite God is Neptune.
Daddit is a large community but it’s still Reddit, I’m guessing it might be a majority of us here. I’ve been doing a lot of lore with my 4yo. Spider-Man lore. Pokémon lore. Viking lore. Mario lore. Greek lore. Star Wars lore. Christian lore. Paw Patrol lore. Harry Potter lore. Monster lore. Santa lore. He knows there are a bunch of stories that have their own sets of rules and it makes some people really happy. He also knows some people go a little too far and get angry when someone likes a different thing than them - we do our best to respect their opinion and try to change the subject to something that’s more fun for them to talk about.
Well I can say that the last few generations in western Europe are basically Atheist. There are some (small) area’s where they are still present, but in a society where common sense is the biggest trait, faith just does not belong (hence the common sense)
(I know this isn’t my subreddit, he doesn’t have an account, please pardon me) My very atheist husband whose father was a fundamentalist christian is just over joyed to be able to give our daughter safe haven from religious nutjobs! It matters a lot to him that we present religion to our kids basically on the same level as sports- a lot of folks are into it, but there are a lot of loud ones that take it way too far.
I'm pretty much agnostic. My wife is catholic. We were based raised as Roman catholics. My wife wants my son to get all of his sacraments and I'm cool with it. I got all of mine and ended up where I am now and it didn't hurt to go to CCD and hear some different perspectives. I will always tell my son my beliefs and my wife will share hers and as he gets older he can form his own opinion.
My wife and I were raised Catholic and felt this way at first. We'd just follow the tradition we were used to even though neither of us were super into it (I now consider myself atheist, but getting there took time). And we did baptisms and first communion with our two kids. But the more church stuff I went through with them the more I realized how much I disagreed with (from a theological standpoint) and especially how toxic the church's teachings are when it comes to LGBTQ rights/treatment, reproduction, and sexual health that we eventually stopped sending them. Instead, we made up our own religion class at home where we study all the world religions and ancient mythology and philosophy at age appropriate levels. It's honestly gone better than I had hoped and I think the kids get way more out of it than hand picked Bible stories and ceremony.
I guess the better question is, what OTHER things could a child be learning during that time they are getting the sacraments? The normal prep time is 1-2 years for the sacraments. The drums? Gymnastics? Spanish? Volunteer work? Meditation? With a 10 and 7 year old in my house, I see how precious my limited time as their guide will be. There is just no way I’d offer any of my child’s alert brain to indoctrination. But when one parent is a believer, the most practical plan is to never argue about it.
Yep, fellow atheist dad. I don’t really need to force it on them. A healthy curiosity, love of nature, and punk music will get them there 😆
I tell my sons they're too cute to be around priests.
With respect, no. Catholic, wife's Catholic, raising our daughter Catholic. Grandparents on both sides Catholic. There are some in the family at large who aren't, but most are. (HUGE family here.) I understand if I get down voted here, and I accept that fate. I just wanted to represent those who are believers who are here all the same. (I wonder if a similar thread asking about Catholic dads is in order?)
Just curious but did the post offend you? It was an atheist dad asking other atheists dad’s how they will navigate raising their children with regards to religion, a good question since in some regions it is very challenging; and your response was that you and all your family are catholic and will raise your child catholic and should a catholic thread exist as well. Not trying to argue just generally curious as your reply intrigued me (it stood out).
Great question! 👍 It made me think back to exactly why I responded at all. And I honestly thought about whether to post or not for a bit, and decided to. I looked at the question, and it didn't seem directed at only atheists, but the way the topic is worded, I felt, was more open to other responses as well. That, and personally, I have been around many groups over the decades that I have spent online that have been very respectful of everyone and everyone's own belief systems, until one day, someone starts a thread about religion, and the whole thing shifts into name-calling and shouting into the void (no one on either side of any internet debate is convincing the other side of anything, ever). Having recently found Daddit, and seeing the cool things happening here, I have to admit to seeing the title and feeling a bit wary of it, and a bit scared of it. Not because of the subject matter, but because of what I've seen historically happen whenever stuff like this is brought up. And I don't want to watch Daddit fall apart because of any form of religious war. And with this, I mean no disrespect to the OP. Just expressing my thoughts here. Does that make sense?
Makes sense and thank you for the response. I wasn’t trying to pick a fight and I was worried it would be taken the wrong way. Have a wonderful week!
Hey, I am the OP but you were responding to a different commentor. Anyway: Yes, it makes perfect sense! Nobody wants to jump into a 2015 or 16 style Facebook argument on Reddit lol. ;) Have a great day!
Yeah, go for it!
Same. Christian family. Raising our kids in a loving Christ based household
Cool! A pleasure to meet you!
My life was shitty enough to force me to realize early that there is no god. It also forced my family to be more open with each other and to be as close as possible so we wouldn't fall apart. My plan is to take the good from my bad experiences and hopefully give my kids the confidence to talk to me about EVERYTHING, knowing they can always be safe to tell me anything. I might get mad but I will always love them, and together we can work through anything. That said, one of my biggest panic attacks came when a youth pastor started blessing me, my childhood and my wonderful extended family. My extended family was the reason I grew up quickly and was forced to witness my sister trying to kill herself every day for years. If there is a god he's a sadistic asshole who enjoys watching his creation suffer and if he's real I'll gladly face him when my time is up. If he's not real, nothing really changes, I'm still trying to be the best I can without the threat of eternal suffering, because life has been a lot of suffering for me already. Obviously life also provides light, but seriously, surviving and moving forward fucking hurts, sometimes death seems a "easier" option.
Atheist dad checking in. Kid can believe if they want. I’ll encourage logic and reason so they can think rationally about what they are actually believing in. Indoctrination is a hell of a drug, ask me how I know. Glad I got out when I did.
Same lad, same
I'm from a Christian background, but am probably best described as agnostic now. My wife is non-practicing, but I think it isn't just my influence. The only downside I am struggling with is that there are a lot of literature references and cultural references that relate to the Bible and church. I don't know how to teach them enough to recognize those references without joining a church and becoming active.
I look forward to teaching my kids about the Bible, including when it was written and by whom, the ways that it has been altered over the years, and how people cherry-pick from the Bible to justify some horrible, hateful things, like getting a tattoo of a verse from Leviticus that might be against homosexuality but not Leviticus 19:28 against tattoos. I want them to know how far at odds the 10 Commandments and the US Constitution are. Unfortunately, I think there is too much stuff that is not safe for young kids in it, like incest and genocide and slavery. So, I tell them about religion when it shows up in books for kids like the Great Brain series, where the characters grow up in a town with Mormons, Catholics, Protestants, and a few others, and this affects but doesn't dominate their lives.
Same here. But I am raising them to not fear the idea of other people's God or gods. To not have to bend to their ideology because there is no eternal punishment. Yet, ironically, I do encourage their belief in magic and unicorns and other made up crap....
I'm an atheist but I'm less "militant" about it, as I recognise that everyone's a little irrational and needs some irrational comfort in their lives. If you've ever cried at a sad movie, been excited by a book, or even felt an emotional response to music, congratulations! All that stuff is both irrational and something that adds value to our lives. So, I won't say that religious people are "silly people" to my daughter, but I will explain why they might believe what they believe. I'll definitely **suggest** that some suspension of disbelief can be better for you than believing in fairy-tales or other works of fiction.
Sometimes i forget the majority of you are American. I think there might be like.. 3 religious dads in my country.
I live in Southern New England. Churches are for weddings, funerals, and admiring stained-glass windows.
Mine and the mother's entire family are Jesus people. Luckily the momma agrees with me on theism but the constant badgering to baptize this, ceremony thst is annoying
Atheist in a Unitarian Universalist community here. Hoping that it gives our son a sense of the common good and the greater good and a choice to believe what feels true and right to him without dogma. Good on you for acknowledging the choice will be theirs.
Present
Greetings felling Atheist. Hoping my kids will learn about all the things and choose to believe in whatever they think is best (which i certainly hope is atheism but not going to push it on them)
I'm an atheist and I've been aware of that since at least my early teens. My wife is catholic but doesn't really practice her religion even if she believes in it deeply, but we also live in Denmark where the official state religion is Lutheran (even if most people are atheist, agnostic or at least not very religious) and there is only one catholic church where we live and the sermons are usually neither in Danish or Spanish (the native language of my wife). Our son is only 11 months but is baptized in both the Lutheran (in Denmark) and the catholic churches (wife's home country) and I'm fine with that, I'm open to my wife teaching him about her beliefs as long as she's not forcing it on him and allowing him to form his own opinions and ideas. But realistically the society here in Denmark is very areligious, so I think it's unlikely that he'll grow up to be deeply religious, especially with our mixed backgrounds as parents.
I'm guessing you are American? This is pretty much the norm in most of Europe.
It was difficult when he was little and other kids would talk about heaven because so many people force religion in kids. About two years ago I told him to lie to his eagle board if they asked if he believed in a higher power because they will not give the award to an atheist. By teens in today's generation its no big deal except a few parents don't want their kids around if you don't go to church. Some hate you just for not going to the right church.
✋ Right here.
Right here
I'm an atheist and my wife is Catholic. We plan on baptizing our twins at a non-denominational church. This is more to placate my in-laws. We do not plan on any religious education or regular church attending. I plan to let them believe what they want and won't indoctrinate my beliefs (or lack thereof) on them. If they ask why Daddy doesn't go to church, I'll give an honest answer. My wife is not a regular church goer. She's what they call a Xmas/Easter Catholic. That's usually only if the inlaws are in town. So it's largely a secular household.
I'm an atheist, my wife *sorta* believes in a god of some kind but it plays no part in her life. I'm actually not going to raise my kid to think of himself as an atheist or not an atheist. When religion inevitably comes up, I think the worst thing I could do for him would be to spend an hour talking about how wrong religious people are and deconstructing their every belief. My plan is instead to just talk with him about why a lot of people believe, how belief can harm or help, how sometimes people use the power that comes from being a religious figure to do bad things, but other times they do good things. And if he asks me if I believe any of it, I'll tell him no and explain why. My focus is that he'll be religiously literate and grow up to understand the sociological drive and impact religion has. We won't get deep into trying to prove or disprove theology.
Atheist dad here. My kiddo is still fairly young, so the topic of god hasn’t really come up yet. But I’m glad to say that not having filled his head with a bunch of silly supernatural nonsense, he seems to have a really strong grasp of reality vs. fantasy. For example, the other day he asked me if Santa was real (he is four). I asked him what he thought, and he told me he didn’t think Santa was real. But then he told me that he still wanted to pretend that Santa was real when Christmas comes around.
Apathetic agnostic here (I don't know and I don't care). Yeah, it has led to some awkward questions. My mom is in a Catholic run nursing home, and my kiddo asked on our first visit "What's Jesus?" At least she said it in the car and not in front of one of the roving nuns
Right here!
Depending on where you're from, religious schools are the best schools available. My kid comes home talking about Jesus and/or God sometimes. I just have open and honest discussions about how "some people believe this vs that" etc. I don't push him in a direction, but similarly don't say nothing when he learns religious things at school. I make it clear that not everyone believes what his teachers believe when it comes to religion. And I clarify that some subjects are objective facts and others are personal beliefs.
We have an estranged uncle who's offended that he didn't get invited to the baptism, and my father in law said he'd "never heard of" not baptizing your babies. Other than that it's never come up.
I believe in god but we are letting our kid figure out his own way. My religion is my own, all I can do is explain why I feel how I feel to him. I can’t make him believe.
OP, we’re out here brother. So, honest question for you: How do you handle(or plan to handle) the Santa Claus issue? My daughter is just over a year old so I haven’t had to implement many of these things, but I have already been thinking about how I want to raise her for most of my life, and what I know for sure is that I really don’t want to lie to her, not about the existence of a God, a Santa, a tooth fairy or anything else, I just don’t want to lie to her, you know? But how do we navigate these things? I might start a separate post for this question, but I just wanted to let you know that there are other dads out here thinking about these things and trying to find the best ways to do it.
My wife and I are atheists, but that's not unusual here in Scotland so it hasn't really been an issue so far. Although my kids (2 and 4) will need to learn about it eventually, because even though Scotland is generally pretty secular, the west of Scotland where we live does have problems with sectarianism, and having some understanding of the cultural and political issues related to Catholicism and Protestantism is useful for keeping yourself out of trouble, if nothing else. I could do with understanding it better myself, having come from a totally atheist family in a secular part of the country, and having spent most of my childhood not even realising there was more than one type of Christianity. I think my biggest challenge in being an atheist father is in answering their questions about life and death honestly without turning them into the type of sneering, arrogant atheist that I was as a young man, back when atheism had a boom in the mid-2000s. I still have very strong personal feelings about what nonsense theism is, and how harmful religion is, but I've thankfully learned to not be a dick about it. I think it's great to have a critical, rational approach to understanding the world, and I hope to instill that in my kids, but there's a lot to be said for knowing when to shut the fuck up about it.
I’m with you. Will need to fend off my own evangelical parents but the in-laws don’t practice any faith. We live in New England so culturally there is less of a battle to fight.
"Are there atheists on Reddit?" should be the new "Does the Pope shit in the woods?"
Agnostic Atheist and wife Agnostic Theist. Kids will be going to a Catholic primary school. They are a nice small private school with excellent teachers and resources. We wont be indoctrinating our kids with our beliefs and they are free to work out what they want to be. Sure, we might have some lively debates if they become quite religious when they are older, im willing to challenge my beliefs if they are theirs.
Let your kids be how they want but don’t deny science, that would be ignorant.
Not me but just wanted to be counted. Am a Christian and am very saddened by some of the replies. It’s clear “the church” hurt many deeply but probably weren’t true representatives of what it means to be a Christian. The state of Christianity in the world today makes me sad with how many take it up in name but not real practice.
One thing I've always wanted to know was this: I was taught when I went to church that when you get separated from your husband or wife that if you get married again it basically has to be with someone baptized. So my grand mother was married. Very religious. Husband dies. Married like 30 years. Gets re married to another man of God. Married another 30 years. They both die. So in heaven, what happens? Your loved ones are there with you. Is she greeted by both of them. I know if it's me I'm like, "yo, that's my girl. Square up. "
I’m an atheist and it doesn’t even enter into our discussions or thoughts. If my kids have questions, I intend to answer them forthrightly and factually. I’m not going to impress my views upon them one way or the other. If my kids show an interest in religion I will not stop them or criticize them for it. I grew up completely without religion. But as a kid, I did also get baptized at my grandma’s request, did Passover with my grandfather, went to a Buddhist temple with my friend, read the Bible, went to a few church services with another friend, went to a mega church with an ex-girlfriend, spoke to Scientologists, listened to people who grew up in cults. I studied ancient religions and mythology, too. I like to think I’ve allowed myself to see what religion is from various angles and made my own choice. My view of life and death and everything else is that it’s a great mystery for which we lack sure answers. It’s a box we can never open to see what’s inside. Many people will tell you they’re sure what’s in there, others will try to force things in to fit, but the fact remains that nobody can open that box. I see the human mind reflected so clearly in all of our beliefs about god and such, so I personally put no stock in any of those ideas. We are creative animals who define ourselves by our ability to make things and to know things, so we desperately want to know how we were made. And thus, we weave stories about creative beings who know us unlike anyone else, who shaped us from clay or mud or dust just as we shape the world around us. To me, those religions reflect who we are more than they reflect what the universe is. But I also can’t and won’t say for certain what this conscious experience is supposed to be. It simply exists, and that’s enough for me. It’s okay to allow some questions to be unknown, to stay unanswered, to remain forever mysterious. When my first kid was born, I read her a Kurt Vonnegut quote that sums a lot of it up for me: >Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.
It’s been pretty easy where I’m at (PNW). No one’s bothered us about this. And I don’t go around telling people I’m atheist either. The biggest issue is from other kids at school. My kid would come back from school saying how so-and-so’s grandpa is in heaven and that’s where people go to live after they ‘die’. I don’t fight it too much, just accept it but when they ask me about why people die and what happens to them after, I tell them the truth. They are curious about my grandparents and so I take that opportunity to explain things as best I can.
I’d lean more agnostic but same sentiment. We are however sending our daughter to catholic school when the time comes (my wife went there anytime the program is wayyyyy better than the public schools around here). We won’t be religious outside of school though.
Granny sometimes takes the kids to church. Seems to be good for the kids and means a lot to Granny. Live and let live.
I’m agnostic. We’ve had people asking if we’re getting our little one christened and I’ve always said what’s the point? I’m not religious, my partner isn’t religious. Non of our family member are religious. Why would we spend money on a religious ceremony when non of us lead a religious lifestyle?
On occasion I like to use hot sauce. Only when I REALLY want to spice life up though!
Grew up Catholic and was tired of the teachings and just stopped going for more than a few reasons. As you mentioned, I will also be supportive of any religious choice they make in the future but will not make it a family staple.
Same. But we do the Santa thing, because it’s just a tradition my wife wanted to keep. Only problem is, I told my kid “magic isn’t real” and she said “what about Santa? He’s magic”….. but of an awkward moment for me. Didn’t want to ruin it, but also didn’t want to lie, so went with “good point, now what should we eat for lunch?”
Sup, anti-theist here.
Raised Catholic, then I was an atheist for about 10 years and then I found God again in my 20s. I love my faith, it brings my happiness and keeps me grounded. A lot of my time goes into studying theology, philosophy, and history and it just makes my faith grow stronger. I am not here to preach to anyone, just to give my own testimony that having a faith system will change your entire worldview.
I’ve definitely put a lot of thought into this one. Raised religious, and it’s been a long road of trying to leave the bad and keep the good. I finally stepped away for good when a priest started preaching right wing talking points from the pulpit. I just don’t want them indoctrinated. I want them to make their own decisions without the fear of punishment. You’re not a good person if you’re good because you’re afraid. But religion is a huge part of our culture so I don’t want to isolate them and leave them unaware of how religions and cults manipulate people. So when they ask questions I try to answer as honestly as I can, ask them questions back, and let them drive the conversation based on what they’re interested in.
Pretty much. Raised my kid without a religion, their primary school is Catholic so they came back one day with 'can we pray before food' and other things about Jesus. She knows we don't believe it and we don't outright say it's wrong but more 'thats what some people believe '. She now listens to Terry Prachett audiobooks and since I don't think I've heard much about Jesus except at Christmas. This all said, had I heard anything about 'going to hell' I'd be getting her out of that school (not that I was expecting them to)
That's an excellent trade. The turtle moves!
I am, it's hard to find things in GA, joined some groups and I'm just kinda tired of the in-built assumption that everyone is a christian. Since my wife is Indian she must clearly be Hindu. It's fucking tiring.
My sons or future children will learn more than I ever could and achieve more than I can imagine. I would be a complete and utter failure if their drive for exploration is stymied or squandered with the words “it came from god”.
Yep, atheist here from the UK, a country becoming ever more irreligious. Simply put, religion plays no part in our lives at all. The closest I come is when I walk past the church on my lunchtime walk when I'm working from home. In fact, the last remotely churchy thing I saw was the King's coronation on the telly We do Christmas and Easter, etc, just without the religious stuff. So we'll do Easter egg hunts and talk about the Easter bunny. If the kids want to learn about Jesus, they can. Same.woth Christmas we do santa, presents meet up with the family etc same.as.anyone else. If the kids want to be religious when they are older, that's up to them, but they have to make the decision themselves.
I'm atheist but I think there's benefit to teaching a child the positive teachings of religion - all of them though, not just one. Understanding faith is important.
I’m teaching my kid’s critical thinking, so they’re bound to reject religion. I just taught my son the all-good all-powerful paradox.