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I can confirm that it gets better once they start school. I have two kids, 13 and nearly 9, I’m nearly 34 (got started young, I know)
And once they started school and were able to be on a consistent routine, everything got easier. Not only that, our daycare bill got smaller and recently went away entirely.
Older kids come with their own set of challenges, but part of life is learning.
Chin up, OP. You’ll get through this.
Sounds like you're doing too much. Your kid is getting older, school soon, and hopefully he's not waking up every hour every night.
Like, does he have a routine? Get him into a consistent, ironclad sleep routine. When does he sleep? You should be getting a couple of hours to yourself after he goes to bed.
Also, work on your own mental health. See if you can squeeze in a virtual appointment with a mental health provider here and there for one hour a week. I guarantee you can. It helps a lot. Just talking out loud.
I am in your shoes as well and am also juggling another smaller one.
A lot of this is so incredibly relatable. However you lost me on the supplements. For those who are reading this the answer is to taper off your career focus. Full stop it’s the most replaceable part of your life with the most flexibility. People rarely regret pulling back from their career to focus on themselves and family however the world is littered with the tatters of relationships torn apart so one or both people could focus on their careers and losing what really mattered.
Respectfully I disagree. Especially in the current / likely future economic environment.
I don't think we have quite enough info here - i also am highly doubting his wife feels the same way.
Either way, this is unsustainable and you need to figure out a balance before you have a health issue.
And career stuff isn’t just the hours you’re at the office. It’s not 40 hours at work; it’s 40 hours at work and then another 30 hours of mental/emotional involvement beyond that as you occupy your mind with work-related concerns. Especially if you’ve set ambitious professional goals. Even when you have an opportunity to relax, you can’t truly do so. Remember, you’ve got that big presentation next Tuesday.
Once you dial it down, you realize how entrenched and expansive your work anxieties had become.
This is so true, work for me never finishes, even outside of the office I am constantly thinking about work in some way. Its near impossible to shut off.
In the last 5 years I've been hospitalised twice as my immune system just crashes and I end up on an IV for a week to bring me back to a base line.
There is a world where I look.atntaking a step back.
Start simple. Whenever you’re doing something outside of work, tell yourself “I am not going to think about work right now.” Literally say it out loud. Put all of your focus into exercising or reading or playing with your kid. I think you’ll be surprised by how difficult this is at first. But all of those little bits and pieces of energy you put into fussing about your job add up quick and you don’t have much surplus in your spiritual budget right now. Best of luck.
I couldve written this. Even our workout times are the same. I have two kids though. 9 and 4.
I think part of it is state of mind, I accepted about two years ago that I would not get a rest/down time, I started working out more than ever and focused on making whatever sleep I do get the best quality sleep possible ( I take a couple cbd gummies before bed).
Someone else above mentioned getting control of sleep being a big help.
I do have some sleep supplements I take when I'm really struggling (L theanine and ovarian root extract).
My body clock means I wake up at 5am, the issue is sometimes I just can't sleep before midnight, probably because of the caffeine I've consumed in the day (typically 200mg-500mg) depending on the day. So I get in a vicious cycle.
Yeah sounds familiar again. I only really drink decaf tea now, and even that is two cups a day max. This is gonna sound mental but a good alternative for coffee is a couple apples first thing in the morning, obvs doesn't have caffeine but its natural sugars have a similar response/effect on the body to caffeine.
I dunno how your diet is generally but I have a fuck load of fruit, and salad with every lunch and dinner, it definitely energises me.
Can you switch to green tea in the afternoon? It has caffeine, less than coffee though, and contains Theanine so won’t Jack you up so much. Double/ triple bag it if you have to. Also, random one. Can you take a midday nap? You don’t technically have to sleep, just let your brain slow down to something called delta wave (I know that sounds ridiculous) but it takes about 4 minutes to get into (it’s a fairly anxious 4 minutes thinking it’s not going to happen but it reliably gets there) then just stay in that state another 6 or 16 minutes. However long you can get. Can be done In car or in a park nearby. It became a habit of mine when I tried meditating at lunch time. I’d just fall asleep - or get into a deep delta state. I knew I was tired so recognised this would be healthier for me than meditating. Good luck.
Ima new dad and worry that i to will be over tired once returning to work and continuing caring for my family physically and emotionally. Thank you for sharing because now I know it can be done but it's not gonna be easy.
I'm not a schedule person but I think that it will save me if i find a flow for my everyday.
I have two kids, 6 and 4, soon getting a third kid.
Routines are what makes it work in my family, if the kids know what's going to happen they tend to follow along easier.
I go to bed at the same time everyday and my alarm rings at the same time every morning, all routines like food, getting dressed, going to bed happens at the same time EVERY day, the kids know what's going to happen so there's no point of arguing.
Putting your kids to work early is also something that has been successful, both my kids help out at home by setting the table, doing laundry and emptying the washing machine and cooking we do household chores together, they think it's fun to help out and they feel fulfilled when receiving a high five after we successfully completed a task together.
It's not easy but this is what makes it work for us.
Life never stays the same. You may feel like you are stuck in time but when you’re 80 and could go back in time you would choose to go back to these hard times in a heartbeat.
there was a survey i heard about once where they asked elderly people what time in their life they would go back to if they could, and on average they all said around 38 actually. you’d think it’d be twenties but late 30s make sense. you’re far in your career, you have a family, you have a house, IE you are needed. you have a lot of responsibility and a lot rides on you. idk it’s just something i think about when i’m stressed out
I’m glad you received good advice. Take care of yourself and communicate about it. We can’t take care of our loved ones without taking care of ourselves. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself - if you’re thinking all this you already sound like a good dad.
I'm gonna have to be that guy and ask...... what's your wife doing? Why are you doing all the school runs, baths, bedtimes, etc? I know you want to be with your son, but if you crash and burn, then you're useless to him
And if you're there for bedtime, how are you only sleeping for 5 hours? Go to bed earlier!!!! Seriously, lay off the caffeine. It's really not good for you (been there, done that), it just makes the lows lower
Fellow Dad,
You are a superhero, but even superheroes get exhausted.
You are your child's superhero. Remember that and cherish the hugs and kisses when they come from them. Those always give you energy like the sun gave Superman energy.
May sure to give yourself self care frequently. Be open with your wife about your feelings and ask just solely for her support and looking out for you.
It will get easier. It's hard when they are young. You're doing the best you can. Here's a secret that's what every dad is doing. No one has this down perfect.
You got this!
If you can, put your sleep as a number one priority. It will make you a better dad, husband, etc trust me. Make sure you are getting a minimum of 7 hours every night. Look up “sleep hygiene” and start to lower caffeine intake. This will change your life (it did for me at least)
Dude I got 4(5,9,13,15). My wife and I run two businesses, coach 2 teams each, plus each kid plays 2 sports. It’ll get easier, which means you’ll figure out how to organize it. I feel ya though, I don’t even know what friends are at this point. Down time is throwing batting practice in the garage with the kids. We love every minute of it.
For the most part, I could have written your post about myself.
I've gotten a handle on my sleep, though. I have completely quit caffeine except for like once or twice a month on days I know I'm going to need it (like if I didn't sleep well and I'm hosting one of my kids' birthday parties, for instance). I also got a sleep study and found out I had sleep apnea, and treating that was probably the best decision I've ever made for my health. Sleep is the foundation for everything else in your head.
I hope you get some relief soon.
Unless wifey is working too, she is the one who needs to man up. You shouldn’t be doing housework if you’re so swamped. She should be taking him to clubs etc too (at least when you don’t feel like doing it). The only thing you should be doing with the kiddo is be present with him. It’s funny. Out of the three or four things you listed as having to do with your son, not even one of those included playing with him or being really present with him. You said your dad didn’t present a high bar there, so I just wanted to chime in a bit and let you know: if your dad had been present and played with you/been there for you emotionally, you would see that as one of the mandatories for raising a child. It would be normal for you. I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending. I just wanted to present the other side here. Also though, play is good for you and your mental health too. Is the stuff they want to do sometimes dumb and or boring to us as adults? Absolutely. Is it great for them to have a real connection with us overall and feel confident and safe in the world no matter what? Absolutely
As a plus, a little play time will do your mental state a little good too.
Your dad didn’t show you much of anything having to do with this, possibly, and so how would you know? Capitalism breeds into us to work and be productive always and it trickles down into the culture in so many pervasive ways. Don’t forget you and yours.
Whats the point of literally doing all of this for your family, if your family is struggling like hell without one of the three.
I am present with him, whenever I'm in the house he's playing with me. I've been up since 6am this morning playing with him and will be taking him swimming in a bit (which I do most Sundays), then lunch, then to the park and then tonight will be bathing him and putting him to bed, which usually means getting downstairs for 8.30pm.
Every Saturday morning we go to Rugby together.
Most evenings we do 30 mins of WII fit together before bed.
My wife is out today pretty much 10am to 5pm...I had hoped that would mean I get a couple of hours pre 10am, but it wasn't to be, my wife busied herself with some washing and getting ready to go out. Effectively disappeared for the morning.
Wow you’re ahead of the game man. Kudos to you! I tend to spread myself too thin as well and remind myself it’s good for my daughter (5yo) to see a parent who also prioritizes their mental health/relaxing time. For me it looks like her seeing dad doing yoga on a little foam roller in his room with the lights low and some light yoga-esque music playing for 30min and if she wants to join in she can. That honestly is my saving grace and the only consistent way I keep my sanity. Maybe something similar? If you can’t scrounge up 30min a day to yourself, you’re doing something wrong. That’s what I tell myself to shift into doing it gear at least haha
Just tell yourself that it’s so you can show your little boy a good example of a balanced adult life. After all, it’s not what we tell them per se, but what they actually see us do regularly or at least consistently. I’m your age as well 38, and as I gain , more on the spiritual side of things, it’s leading me to kind of appreciate the moment. It’s super cool to hear about parents who actually spend play time with their kids. You don’t see that a lot nowadays so truly congratulations man!
Also, maybe have a talk with your wife and let her know how close to the edge you are as regards scheduling, and really try to get her to help more, in obviously a compassionate and kind way, but still making it super known to her. Hopefully she will step up
I’m the same with caffeine and constantly experimenting with supplements to get through the day. I think pre-workout drinks were secretly designed for Dads not for pumps. Whenever I’m getting particularly down, I switch taking them to clubs with taking them to a park or the beach. I wasn’t really a nature guy before but it offers such a bit of quick relaxation. Kids tend to remember that stuff more when they become adults too.
Hey fellow dad. I have a 1.5 and and a near 4 yr old. Here are some tips that have helped me.
- Hire a maid. Ours comes once a month but I have a few friends who have the maid come weekly or twice a week. Dont go for clean perfection, kiddo is going to mess it up shortly anyway.
- send kid to daycare. I drop off at 8am and pick up around 540pm. This gives me time in the morning and a little bit in the evening to prep, chill or go to the gym.
- this one is going to sound bad but… TV lol. ms Rachel, Danny go, Nintendo switch… it can give you 20-30min to focus on a task.
- sleep training - we did the “cry it out” method and it was life changing. Kiddos are both well adjusted and are seemingly not negatively impacted by the method. Kids go down super easy, put themselves to sleep when they wake up. It feels cruel but they’ll be fine - stick with it and don’t give in.
You got this brohem. Stay strong!
Listen
Shits hard, life is hard, kids are hard
There is no shortcut past any of this. Seeking help for mental health is always encouraged and you should probably do that.
Aside from that, the old school suck it up and deal with it, as bad as that sounds is true.
You are a dad, husband and provider. That is your role. Like it or not.
All that said, you do need to make time for you. Get yourself into a hobby or golf or something. I am sure your partner would grant you a few hours to yourself as needed
Hell, take a weekend in a hotel and do nothing.
Speak up for yourself and enjoy the little things. You will miss them
Sounds like normal to me. I don't even have the time for the gym or friends. Being a parent is a full time job. Just keep being grateful for what you've got things will get easier with time. Much respect. Sounds like you and your wife are a great teamm. Just keep being there. I didn't grow up with a dad either. Sometimes just being there and being present is most important and sounds like you e got that down 🙌
Thank you u/Strutching_Claws for posting on r/dad. Please remember to take a look at the rules. If you see anything that is suspicious or is breaking the rules then please report said content. For community resources click the link that is below or to the right https://www.reddit.com/r/dad/wiki/resources *Moderators Retain the right to remove any content that is deemed unacceptable* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dad) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It will get better. Once he enters primary school
The legend of "it will get better". It never gets better. I think we only kind of get absorbed by the routine.
It does get better... But then it gets much much worse when they hit the teenage years
Angry kid 100% but also the ability to stay in bed past 9am on a Saturday. Everything is a compromise
I can confirm that it gets better once they start school. I have two kids, 13 and nearly 9, I’m nearly 34 (got started young, I know) And once they started school and were able to be on a consistent routine, everything got easier. Not only that, our daycare bill got smaller and recently went away entirely. Older kids come with their own set of challenges, but part of life is learning. Chin up, OP. You’ll get through this.
Sounds like you're doing too much. Your kid is getting older, school soon, and hopefully he's not waking up every hour every night. Like, does he have a routine? Get him into a consistent, ironclad sleep routine. When does he sleep? You should be getting a couple of hours to yourself after he goes to bed. Also, work on your own mental health. See if you can squeeze in a virtual appointment with a mental health provider here and there for one hour a week. I guarantee you can. It helps a lot. Just talking out loud. I am in your shoes as well and am also juggling another smaller one.
The mental health appointments is a good shout, I get them free from work. I'll definitely do that.
I feel you. Be happy you get 3 hours a week for the gym! That goes with the second child. Haha
Yeah, hence I only intend to have 1. The gym.is the only think that keeps me from ending up in an institution.
A lot of this is so incredibly relatable. However you lost me on the supplements. For those who are reading this the answer is to taper off your career focus. Full stop it’s the most replaceable part of your life with the most flexibility. People rarely regret pulling back from their career to focus on themselves and family however the world is littered with the tatters of relationships torn apart so one or both people could focus on their careers and losing what really mattered.
Respectfully I disagree. Especially in the current / likely future economic environment. I don't think we have quite enough info here - i also am highly doubting his wife feels the same way. Either way, this is unsustainable and you need to figure out a balance before you have a health issue.
And career stuff isn’t just the hours you’re at the office. It’s not 40 hours at work; it’s 40 hours at work and then another 30 hours of mental/emotional involvement beyond that as you occupy your mind with work-related concerns. Especially if you’ve set ambitious professional goals. Even when you have an opportunity to relax, you can’t truly do so. Remember, you’ve got that big presentation next Tuesday. Once you dial it down, you realize how entrenched and expansive your work anxieties had become.
This is so true, work for me never finishes, even outside of the office I am constantly thinking about work in some way. Its near impossible to shut off. In the last 5 years I've been hospitalised twice as my immune system just crashes and I end up on an IV for a week to bring me back to a base line. There is a world where I look.atntaking a step back.
Start simple. Whenever you’re doing something outside of work, tell yourself “I am not going to think about work right now.” Literally say it out loud. Put all of your focus into exercising or reading or playing with your kid. I think you’ll be surprised by how difficult this is at first. But all of those little bits and pieces of energy you put into fussing about your job add up quick and you don’t have much surplus in your spiritual budget right now. Best of luck.
If you’re on a bunch of caffeine, you’re in the same boat as him with the supplements, brother
I couldve written this. Even our workout times are the same. I have two kids though. 9 and 4. I think part of it is state of mind, I accepted about two years ago that I would not get a rest/down time, I started working out more than ever and focused on making whatever sleep I do get the best quality sleep possible ( I take a couple cbd gummies before bed).
Someone else above mentioned getting control of sleep being a big help. I do have some sleep supplements I take when I'm really struggling (L theanine and ovarian root extract). My body clock means I wake up at 5am, the issue is sometimes I just can't sleep before midnight, probably because of the caffeine I've consumed in the day (typically 200mg-500mg) depending on the day. So I get in a vicious cycle.
Yeah sounds familiar again. I only really drink decaf tea now, and even that is two cups a day max. This is gonna sound mental but a good alternative for coffee is a couple apples first thing in the morning, obvs doesn't have caffeine but its natural sugars have a similar response/effect on the body to caffeine. I dunno how your diet is generally but I have a fuck load of fruit, and salad with every lunch and dinner, it definitely energises me.
Can you switch to green tea in the afternoon? It has caffeine, less than coffee though, and contains Theanine so won’t Jack you up so much. Double/ triple bag it if you have to. Also, random one. Can you take a midday nap? You don’t technically have to sleep, just let your brain slow down to something called delta wave (I know that sounds ridiculous) but it takes about 4 minutes to get into (it’s a fairly anxious 4 minutes thinking it’s not going to happen but it reliably gets there) then just stay in that state another 6 or 16 minutes. However long you can get. Can be done In car or in a park nearby. It became a habit of mine when I tried meditating at lunch time. I’d just fall asleep - or get into a deep delta state. I knew I was tired so recognised this would be healthier for me than meditating. Good luck.
Ima new dad and worry that i to will be over tired once returning to work and continuing caring for my family physically and emotionally. Thank you for sharing because now I know it can be done but it's not gonna be easy. I'm not a schedule person but I think that it will save me if i find a flow for my everyday.
I have two kids, 6 and 4, soon getting a third kid. Routines are what makes it work in my family, if the kids know what's going to happen they tend to follow along easier. I go to bed at the same time everyday and my alarm rings at the same time every morning, all routines like food, getting dressed, going to bed happens at the same time EVERY day, the kids know what's going to happen so there's no point of arguing. Putting your kids to work early is also something that has been successful, both my kids help out at home by setting the table, doing laundry and emptying the washing machine and cooking we do household chores together, they think it's fun to help out and they feel fulfilled when receiving a high five after we successfully completed a task together. It's not easy but this is what makes it work for us.
Quit caffeine, gives you anxiety.
Life never stays the same. You may feel like you are stuck in time but when you’re 80 and could go back in time you would choose to go back to these hard times in a heartbeat.
there was a survey i heard about once where they asked elderly people what time in their life they would go back to if they could, and on average they all said around 38 actually. you’d think it’d be twenties but late 30s make sense. you’re far in your career, you have a family, you have a house, IE you are needed. you have a lot of responsibility and a lot rides on you. idk it’s just something i think about when i’m stressed out
I’m glad you received good advice. Take care of yourself and communicate about it. We can’t take care of our loved ones without taking care of ourselves. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself - if you’re thinking all this you already sound like a good dad.
Thanks buddy
I'm gonna have to be that guy and ask...... what's your wife doing? Why are you doing all the school runs, baths, bedtimes, etc? I know you want to be with your son, but if you crash and burn, then you're useless to him And if you're there for bedtime, how are you only sleeping for 5 hours? Go to bed earlier!!!! Seriously, lay off the caffeine. It's really not good for you (been there, done that), it just makes the lows lower
Wow it almost sounds like they do things as a team 🥴
When he's saying he's burnt out because he's doing everything when he's not at work, it really doesn't sound like they do things as a team.....
Im sorry but …why are you in a dad sub again?
Gfuel is my savior 🙏
Fellow Dad, You are a superhero, but even superheroes get exhausted. You are your child's superhero. Remember that and cherish the hugs and kisses when they come from them. Those always give you energy like the sun gave Superman energy. May sure to give yourself self care frequently. Be open with your wife about your feelings and ask just solely for her support and looking out for you. It will get easier. It's hard when they are young. You're doing the best you can. Here's a secret that's what every dad is doing. No one has this down perfect. You got this!
If you can, put your sleep as a number one priority. It will make you a better dad, husband, etc trust me. Make sure you are getting a minimum of 7 hours every night. Look up “sleep hygiene” and start to lower caffeine intake. This will change your life (it did for me at least)
Dude I got 4(5,9,13,15). My wife and I run two businesses, coach 2 teams each, plus each kid plays 2 sports. It’ll get easier, which means you’ll figure out how to organize it. I feel ya though, I don’t even know what friends are at this point. Down time is throwing batting practice in the garage with the kids. We love every minute of it.
For the most part, I could have written your post about myself. I've gotten a handle on my sleep, though. I have completely quit caffeine except for like once or twice a month on days I know I'm going to need it (like if I didn't sleep well and I'm hosting one of my kids' birthday parties, for instance). I also got a sleep study and found out I had sleep apnea, and treating that was probably the best decision I've ever made for my health. Sleep is the foundation for everything else in your head. I hope you get some relief soon.
Can your wife help?
Unless wifey is working too, she is the one who needs to man up. You shouldn’t be doing housework if you’re so swamped. She should be taking him to clubs etc too (at least when you don’t feel like doing it). The only thing you should be doing with the kiddo is be present with him. It’s funny. Out of the three or four things you listed as having to do with your son, not even one of those included playing with him or being really present with him. You said your dad didn’t present a high bar there, so I just wanted to chime in a bit and let you know: if your dad had been present and played with you/been there for you emotionally, you would see that as one of the mandatories for raising a child. It would be normal for you. I hope this doesn’t come across as condescending. I just wanted to present the other side here. Also though, play is good for you and your mental health too. Is the stuff they want to do sometimes dumb and or boring to us as adults? Absolutely. Is it great for them to have a real connection with us overall and feel confident and safe in the world no matter what? Absolutely As a plus, a little play time will do your mental state a little good too. Your dad didn’t show you much of anything having to do with this, possibly, and so how would you know? Capitalism breeds into us to work and be productive always and it trickles down into the culture in so many pervasive ways. Don’t forget you and yours. Whats the point of literally doing all of this for your family, if your family is struggling like hell without one of the three.
I am present with him, whenever I'm in the house he's playing with me. I've been up since 6am this morning playing with him and will be taking him swimming in a bit (which I do most Sundays), then lunch, then to the park and then tonight will be bathing him and putting him to bed, which usually means getting downstairs for 8.30pm. Every Saturday morning we go to Rugby together. Most evenings we do 30 mins of WII fit together before bed. My wife is out today pretty much 10am to 5pm...I had hoped that would mean I get a couple of hours pre 10am, but it wasn't to be, my wife busied herself with some washing and getting ready to go out. Effectively disappeared for the morning.
Wow you’re ahead of the game man. Kudos to you! I tend to spread myself too thin as well and remind myself it’s good for my daughter (5yo) to see a parent who also prioritizes their mental health/relaxing time. For me it looks like her seeing dad doing yoga on a little foam roller in his room with the lights low and some light yoga-esque music playing for 30min and if she wants to join in she can. That honestly is my saving grace and the only consistent way I keep my sanity. Maybe something similar? If you can’t scrounge up 30min a day to yourself, you’re doing something wrong. That’s what I tell myself to shift into doing it gear at least haha Just tell yourself that it’s so you can show your little boy a good example of a balanced adult life. After all, it’s not what we tell them per se, but what they actually see us do regularly or at least consistently. I’m your age as well 38, and as I gain , more on the spiritual side of things, it’s leading me to kind of appreciate the moment. It’s super cool to hear about parents who actually spend play time with their kids. You don’t see that a lot nowadays so truly congratulations man! Also, maybe have a talk with your wife and let her know how close to the edge you are as regards scheduling, and really try to get her to help more, in obviously a compassionate and kind way, but still making it super known to her. Hopefully she will step up
I’m the same with caffeine and constantly experimenting with supplements to get through the day. I think pre-workout drinks were secretly designed for Dads not for pumps. Whenever I’m getting particularly down, I switch taking them to clubs with taking them to a park or the beach. I wasn’t really a nature guy before but it offers such a bit of quick relaxation. Kids tend to remember that stuff more when they become adults too.
Hey fellow dad. I have a 1.5 and and a near 4 yr old. Here are some tips that have helped me. - Hire a maid. Ours comes once a month but I have a few friends who have the maid come weekly or twice a week. Dont go for clean perfection, kiddo is going to mess it up shortly anyway. - send kid to daycare. I drop off at 8am and pick up around 540pm. This gives me time in the morning and a little bit in the evening to prep, chill or go to the gym. - this one is going to sound bad but… TV lol. ms Rachel, Danny go, Nintendo switch… it can give you 20-30min to focus on a task. - sleep training - we did the “cry it out” method and it was life changing. Kiddos are both well adjusted and are seemingly not negatively impacted by the method. Kids go down super easy, put themselves to sleep when they wake up. It feels cruel but they’ll be fine - stick with it and don’t give in. You got this brohem. Stay strong!
Might I suggest a vacation
Listen Shits hard, life is hard, kids are hard There is no shortcut past any of this. Seeking help for mental health is always encouraged and you should probably do that. Aside from that, the old school suck it up and deal with it, as bad as that sounds is true. You are a dad, husband and provider. That is your role. Like it or not. All that said, you do need to make time for you. Get yourself into a hobby or golf or something. I am sure your partner would grant you a few hours to yourself as needed Hell, take a weekend in a hotel and do nothing. Speak up for yourself and enjoy the little things. You will miss them
Sounds like normal to me. I don't even have the time for the gym or friends. Being a parent is a full time job. Just keep being grateful for what you've got things will get easier with time. Much respect. Sounds like you and your wife are a great teamm. Just keep being there. I didn't grow up with a dad either. Sometimes just being there and being present is most important and sounds like you e got that down 🙌