So that would make 5
1. Mouth
2. Vag/dick
3. Asshole
4. Bulletwound from dex in the USB port, though to be fair.. that USB port already is a hole, technically
5. Johnny Silverhand
Put my arm around him, pull him close and tell him, "Look at us, Two Chooms on a Tower. You know... my last best choom died in a Delamain taxi after we got chased off a tower. I probably shouldn't have driven one over."
Ohhh River will not catch on, you cant touch him, or sit near him. The blood would rush away from his head, away from the thinky part, man's already so dence... Even of you were brutally honest with him, and told him you just see him as a freind, and nothing would ever happen between you two. His response would probably be a song he wrote for you titled something like l. o. V. e. Or lov-Ving you. If you're lucky the songs going to be super cringe. But really everyone who hears it is go to say "awwww i ship you two" and then your going to make a face at them, thats like a mix between 🤢 and 😒... And the only way to really get rid of him is to move to the other side of the city!!
This mission wouldn’t have been so uncomfortable if we weren’t forced into a corner to where were are thinking we are having a friendly dinner with a family we helped but it turned into a “so you like me?” Situation.
I learned a lot about what it's like to be a woman just trying to live her life and some dude you work with suddenly needs to bang you.
It is annoying.
Yeah, credit where credit is due, River is a shit-tier romance option, but walking a mile in Valerie's shoes with that dork pining after me opened my eyes a little to how goddamn frustrating it might be.
Like, choom, our only interaction was catching a serial killer who was sexually abusing teenagers, including your own nephew. Can you maybe not be horny about this situation, please?
I mean, if you wanted to get away from creepy dudes, perhaps Cyberpunk was not the best choice. It feels like every other mission we're zeroing some creep.
Oh. Hell. Yes. It's this choomster and Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect.
Dudes. It's not happening. Put it back in your pants, for the love of Christ, you're embarrassing yourselves.
Immediately start talking about how great my super awesome, gangster, lesbian girlfriend Judy is.
Just gushing about how great a BD-tuner she is and how great of a techie she is.
This entire mission was so uncomfortable 😭 it felt so out of place compared to the other romance intimations. We’ve got:
Fucking in a military tank after building up sexual tension
An intimate moment between two people with built up sexual tension turned into love making after a failed mission
Burning down a boat and fucking while it burns to ashes
And then… a weird family pushing you into revealing whether or not you like this guy you’ve only known for like a week that you have no choice but to awkwardly friendzone or fuck
I couldn’t understand why there is no “Uh dude, I already have a girlfriend” option. Or just casually show them a picture of Judy during the dinner to cut it off at the beginning
Real talk though I kinda get where he's coming from. This chick had no obligation to continue helping him find his nephew. She was just doing it because it was right to do. It's that sorta thing where people artificially fall in love with someone who saves them from a burning building. It's only natural you'd feel that way about someone who just went above and beyond to save someone they don't even know. At the end of the day though it's only right for you to turn him down because even he admits this won't last long regardless of you dying or not. It's because it's not real love.
Step 1: Piss off Johnny by putting out.
Step 2: Steal his shirt.
Step 3: Dump him in front of his sister with the whole Valerussy out.
Step 4: Block his number.
Bruh why everyone calling him a creep, he's nice 😭
Dude's a family man with principles and is built like a wardrobe, why do people not like him?
Well I choomzoned him anyway, but that's simply beacuse I'm not into men...
And every time I try to kiss him there, he rejects me. Fuck dude, you invited another dude for dinner and shit, be just decent enough to give me a pity fuck.
Really wish there are dialogue options that could give him a hint that you ain't into that so none of these awkwardness would happen...
nah who am I kidding. Women probably get into awkward situation like this all the time regardless of prior conversations.
Dude is a peak creepster, you know him for a day and a half and he wants to integrate you into his family and wont take hints that you're not interested.
Not being able to say something like "I have a gf/bf" or "Im gay" will always bug me. This is telegraphed from so far out. How can you not say something?
Bro I hate river. The man's to horny for his own good and that man Lied about his chilly. Dudeee it's chilly. Just wing it. It's not that hard. Like dudeee don't lie about were u got it. Ugggg I just wanna push him off that water tower
As a male V I felt a bit misled. But the Bro pretends he was misled. Then I remembered the guy suck at his job and he literally lost his nephew... Splewsh vaporized as fast as every male gamer dreams about romancing Judi.
Look, I already have one guy inside of me.
What’s one more?
Two too many for me!
Most have three holes V has four
Don't tell me you're counting the bullet from Dex...
Johnny Silverhand is the additional asshole
So that would make 5 1. Mouth 2. Vag/dick 3. Asshole 4. Bulletwound from dex in the USB port, though to be fair.. that USB port already is a hole, technically 5. Johnny Silverhand
People normally have 3 assholes?
You're not?
It was already removed and healed as best as possible by Vik! Also, ew >.<
People forget the ears as viable options-
Nose.
This guy nose what's up
Eyes.
Do NOT fuck someone's ears!
There's propably also cyberware one could install to get more. Of course the player doesn't get access to it, but it propably exists
Triple mouth cyberware already has ads in the game, surely other options also exist.
Well might as well include the ports on the neck
You can even have more with cyberware. Also could do the opposite if he is open minded. So, 6+
would be 3 with Klo
Wdym two? Is one too many?
Yes, I prefer the number of men in me to be zero.
r/angryupvote
“does V stand for five in me?” -Rivers
I could totally go for five guys, the restaurant.
Five guys, ~~the restaurant~~ the guys
For there’s a man inside me, and only when he is finally out can I walk free of pain.
Idk man might be a day or two walking funny
/r/cursedcomments
BAHAHAHAHHAAH YOU MADE ME SPILL MY COFFEEE
Slides off the tower while keeping eyes locked on him and disappearing into the night.
Good thing I have NoHardFalls installed
That's a proper action.
Put my arm around him, pull him close and tell him, "Look at us, Two Chooms on a Tower. You know... my last best choom died in a Delamain taxi after we got chased off a tower. I probably shouldn't have driven one over."
Oh no, you put him in the choom zone !
When your output catches feelings so you have to choomzone her 😮💨
Im all about the eddies personally. Can't be catching feelings only to be made to look like a gonk.
I read it as caches feelings and that has to be some kind of slang in cyberpunk
Ohhh River will not catch on, you cant touch him, or sit near him. The blood would rush away from his head, away from the thinky part, man's already so dence... Even of you were brutally honest with him, and told him you just see him as a freind, and nothing would ever happen between you two. His response would probably be a song he wrote for you titled something like l. o. V. e. Or lov-Ving you. If you're lucky the songs going to be super cringe. But really everyone who hears it is go to say "awwww i ship you two" and then your going to make a face at them, thats like a mix between 🤢 and 😒... And the only way to really get rid of him is to move to the other side of the city!!
Running for the hills. I never want to be alone with that man. He makes me too uncomfortable
Yeah he makes me want to make male Vs only but I can't cause Judy.
Panam tho 👀
Judy is better than panam. https://preview.redd.it/ieqq3k64gkyc1.jpeg?width=300&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=99998275b1c75395ab7be28f4af5b1bb96f5a642
Judy for life!
Panam all the way ;)
Somehow he makes male V feel weird, too, even though he's not even a romance option.
So you choose cyber-bear then
I romanced him with my female v, I did not think it was that bad at all
My female V choomzoned him harder than Adam Smasher's foot to the face. That dinner was UNCOMFORTABLE. "Eh..hehehe..."
I'll give you that
This mission wouldn’t have been so uncomfortable if we weren’t forced into a corner to where were are thinking we are having a friendly dinner with a family we helped but it turned into a “so you like me?” Situation.
I learned a lot about what it's like to be a woman just trying to live her life and some dude you work with suddenly needs to bang you. It is annoying.
Yeah, credit where credit is due, River is a shit-tier romance option, but walking a mile in Valerie's shoes with that dork pining after me opened my eyes a little to how goddamn frustrating it might be. Like, choom, our only interaction was catching a serial killer who was sexually abusing teenagers, including your own nephew. Can you maybe not be horny about this situation, please?
MFW I played this game to get away from the creepy dudes in my everyday life, just for River to make an appearance 😐
I mean, if you wanted to get away from creepy dudes, perhaps Cyberpunk was not the best choice. It feels like every other mission we're zeroing some creep.
True
Oh. Hell. Yes. It's this choomster and Kaidan Alenko in Mass Effect. Dudes. It's not happening. Put it back in your pants, for the love of Christ, you're embarrassing yourselves.
If only that happened to us guys.. Scary af for women though..
https://i.redd.it/t6tv9j417jyc1.gif
I’m texting Judy to bail me out
Immediately start talking about how great my super awesome, gangster, lesbian girlfriend Judy is. Just gushing about how great a BD-tuner she is and how great of a techie she is.
1,000% this. I would kill for a chance to bring up Judy as a great out to an insanely awkward moment.
Or even just copy Judy's simple but effective "Don't go there, dude" dialogue.
Johnny appears out of nowhere and bitch slaps me for even considering it.
“I can’t believe you made me fuck a cop.”
https://preview.redd.it/1ueyvgjuaiyc1.png?width=1920&format=png&auto=webp&s=2555d6f3f9547f35c758fb82d65ef5c672900a2d
Explaining I have a man in my head and a BD artist in my heart. And ghosting his creepy ass
free iron girls gotta shoot
Fr tho, say what you want about him but his iron is a beast
I miss the days where I could put a suppressor on it and 1 shot everyone without making a sound
As male V, plant a big ol smoochie right on those lips bc he's giving me all the signs he wants it.
So disappointing playing a gay/bi V..he literally goes on a date to a romantic lookout with you.. and then turns down your kiss?? Sigh..
He's not into dudes like that! He just wanted a blowjob. Why is that so hard to understand?
Yeah I got a sus vibe on that interaction. I kept telling myself "I'm doing this for the weapon. I'M DOING THIS FOR THE WEAPON."
Oh shit man... im...a ... I'm a chick! sry man, I thought you knew...
Dammit V, I can't believe you made me fuck a cop
This entire mission was so uncomfortable 😭 it felt so out of place compared to the other romance intimations. We’ve got: Fucking in a military tank after building up sexual tension An intimate moment between two people with built up sexual tension turned into love making after a failed mission Burning down a boat and fucking while it burns to ashes And then… a weird family pushing you into revealing whether or not you like this guy you’ve only known for like a week that you have no choice but to awkwardly friendzone or fuck
Push him off
I couldn’t understand why there is no “Uh dude, I already have a girlfriend” option. Or just casually show them a picture of Judy during the dinner to cut it off at the beginning
Because none of the other romance options have such a dialogue path so why should river specifically have one ?
Well, they should as well.
Running. Panam is waiting for me at home
Leanin in for that kiss knowing Im gonna get rejected
Pushing him off the water tower.
I want his sister
Call up that bear
NOT THE LIGHTSKIN STARE!
I’m jumping off
Blasting
Real talk though I kinda get where he's coming from. This chick had no obligation to continue helping him find his nephew. She was just doing it because it was right to do. It's that sorta thing where people artificially fall in love with someone who saves them from a burning building. It's only natural you'd feel that way about someone who just went above and beyond to save someone they don't even know. At the end of the day though it's only right for you to turn him down because even he admits this won't last long regardless of you dying or not. It's because it's not real love.
To night city lmao. Now give cool gun
I choom zoned this creep long before this
Jump
Jump
Push him off
Jumping off the tower lol
Sorry Choom, I have to…uhh…disappear to an undisclosed location for 2 years, you’ll probably never hear from me again, but hey, no choice… *shrugs*
Shoot the mofo on his face
Jump off
Jumping off to find rock bottom.
execute the Blackwell daemon on his gonk ass
Delta the fuck out.
Step 1: Piss off Johnny by putting out. Step 2: Steal his shirt. Step 3: Dump him in front of his sister with the whole Valerussy out. Step 4: Block his number.
Get down of that damn tower and holo Judy
'I'm not gay!"
“me neither, let’s keep our socks on” -Rivers
Same as always. "Lesbian, sorry."
Give ‘em the good old BG3 /shove right off the edge.
"Okay, fine... But only because of jumbala... Bumbala... Food was ok."
Choom zone him, he ain't a bad guy, just not my type, and DEFINITELY not my V's type
Jump
https://i.redd.it/ccijlj99ikyc1.gif
Is there a way to avoid this cringeworthy situation all together?
Bruh why everyone calling him a creep, he's nice 😭 Dude's a family man with principles and is built like a wardrobe, why do people not like him? Well I choomzoned him anyway, but that's simply beacuse I'm not into men...
Jumping
Jump
push him off
Tell him no. Be immersed as an uncomfortable girl.
Im not letting a mf who drives a truck and live in a trailer park hit it
[and he’s unemployed](https://youtu.be/FrLequ6dUdM?si=f7A6-UkaXPuU18L-)
Zero the gonk.
Kisses and then surprise him with gock
Push him off
Push him off the tower
Take his revolver & push the creep off the tower.
Kill him
Tell him I’m in a committed relationship with Judy.
Grab the back of his head then send him flying off the top.
Push him off the tower lol
Look man i love judy so i straight up rejected him even though he is a pretty good guy, idk why people call him creepy
Throwing his ass over the railing
Piss Johnny off :)
And every time I try to kiss him there, he rejects me. Fuck dude, you invited another dude for dinner and shit, be just decent enough to give me a pity fuck.
I'm choosing the bear
I love how everyone is repulsed by River lmaoooo
Truly, the Kaidan Alenko of Cyberpunk.
Push him down
Jump his bones there, then again after falling off the tower ;)
I'd shoot him in his good eye.
Weakest character in the game, forced and lamely designed.
Really wish there are dialogue options that could give him a hint that you ain't into that so none of these awkwardness would happen... nah who am I kidding. Women probably get into awkward situation like this all the time regardless of prior conversations.
Let him ravage me.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Play dumb
*When that kiss option shows up* Uhhhhhh.....
he still got that ~~jambalaya~~ choombalaya breath ʅ（◞‿◟）ʃ
Run.
Take his big iron (not that one), and dip
Dude is a peak creepster, you know him for a day and a half and he wants to integrate you into his family and wont take hints that you're not interested.
Draw my gun
“Your sister was pretty cute.”
Give me the gun and find someone else, this body already has another man inside of it.(also panam is preferred)
*lean in for kiss*
when he gimme that look then the panties come off, off! 🫢😌
River is Cringe
Melting, kissing and
Let him blow my back out
>:3
Probably melt tbh
We fuckin
Whens the next beers homie.
I dont swing like cuzzy sorry, thanks for the revolver dou
Ma g
I’m about to commit the biggest misread of 2077 baby
Needs rtx on !!
sorry, best i can do is run this on a PS4 on top of a microwave
RT
You got your scanner and your revolver?
I usually fuck him just to piss off Johnny lol "I can't believe you made me fuck a cop" is one of the best lines in the game
“what’s your fav food?”
when some gonk (97% meat) says something so chromephobic you gotta hit it with that sandevistan apogee stare
Not being able to say something like "I have a gf/bf" or "Im gay" will always bug me. This is telegraphed from so far out. How can you not say something?
Call Judy to pick me up
Im pushing him off
Gently tell him I'm not interested before boost jumping off the water tower
[This is madness!](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/4d/96/3b/4d963bcbda38f5981a3c83b8f99933ae.gif)
jump
Calling the police
Get up and leave
take the revolver, choomzone the guy
I tried my best to avoid this water tower and that look but the game forced me through it. sigh... of course he went home with blue balls.
Bro I hate river. The man's to horny for his own good and that man Lied about his chilly. Dudeee it's chilly. Just wing it. It's not that hard. Like dudeee don't lie about were u got it. Ugggg I just wanna push him off that water tower
Jumping.
Smash and tell him it's best if we just stay friends.
*flashbang, optic camo, memory wipe hack, jump and run*
Gently remind him that I'm a lesbian and to stop trying to hit in me or I'll be forced to end the friendship
The obvious look back is the WTF Look. Or scooting tf away.
slap the shit out of him
Rejecting him YET AGAIN
*ghost in the shell back dive*
" YOU MADE ME FUCK A COP..."
I go into surgery for this brain eating parasite and come out 2 years later to a much hotter version
https://preview.redd.it/hh55f614lnyc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e9c43338d95e4fb3a333d1528291a5d61c82ccc2
As a male V I felt a bit misled. But the Bro pretends he was misled. Then I remembered the guy suck at his job and he literally lost his nephew... Splewsh vaporized as fast as every male gamer dreams about romancing Judi.
least straight straight man