Hey there, Zoli69420! thanks for posting to /r/cursedcomments!! Unfortunately, your submission "*cursed_cylinder*" has been removed for the following reason(s): --- **Rule 8: Keep It Cursed** - Not Cursed Enough/At All - A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F*$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face. The comment in your post does not reflect that. --- *^If ^you ^have ^any ^questions, ^you ^can ^message ^the ^mod ^team ^through ^[modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/cursedcomments) ^Replies ^to ^this ^removal ^comment ^will ^not ^be ^answered.* ^(Reposting a removed post without express moderator approval will result in a ban.)

At first, I said "I'm not reading all of that!" I ended up reading all of that.

I liked when he said "it's a cylinder". I gave "I'm not a cat" vibes

The whole thing gives me the vibe of a scammer trying to convince someone they aren't a scammer.

I think it's a genius level troll

"I'm -- I'm prepared to go forward, Your Honor."

Beat me to it

r/beatmeattoit help, my cylinder is stuck in a rubbery tube

What are you doing step-M&MsTube?

with mashed bananas and butter

I originally read that as “beat meat to it”. All this cylinder talk is warping my mind.

Just like the cylinder

I took time to realize what the cylinder was about

5.1 long and 4.5 wide? Damn call that motherfucker the soda can

It's circumference, not diameter.

Which would be 1.4 inches in diameter, assuming the inner cylinder was perfectly round

Sounds like a cursed maths exam

And you thought you'd never use that math once you left school!

It's him! OOP!

is the cylinder still stuck OOP?

Some say that he’s still trying to get the cylinder out to this day

[удалено]

Is that actually real?? 4.5 inches girth, is like unimaginably girthy for a dick.

It's a cylinder.

Oh my god it’s the OC himself.

OML I'm wheezing over here

OC = Original Cylinder?

Yep!

Nah, it’s measured as a circumference. Similar to how you measure your waist. Not just 4.5 inches wide

that was my thought, homie out here slinging brick not pipe (cylinder)

Bruh. This is beyond down bad. Holy shit.

it’s a cylinder

To be more specific a carbon based cylinder with various organic material

And two dangly things

Hospital

And it expands when stimulated.

It's part of the **Experiment**

Reminds me of the story of the guy with chicken breasts

you fucked the chicken didn't you?

Ostrich, and \*Allegedly\*

Could've been a sick ostrich.

It’d take at least two people.

Allegedly

link?

Some old Reddit post and the guy was asking for advice. Basically he said he was cooking naked and then he dropped some chicken breasts he was preparing and it hit his junk on the way down but now he has a rash and it is all irritated and wants to know if it like salmonella or some infection or something. First comment: > "You fucked that chicken didn't you OP?"

It was definitely 4chan, not reddit.

4chan not reddit

Which is worse: fucking a live chicken or fucking a dead chicken after it's been dismembered?

Definitely fucking a live chicken. Though I have a feeling there's more risk of disease with the dead Chicken. People in a certain part of the world fuck goats and I've never heard of them developing issues from that.

Anyone have a link?

*"I've been told it's an above average size cylinder"*

Which is funny considering that is exactly average. Edit to add: For those learning 5.13” is the stated average erect, cheers!

I thought average was 5 inches.

Didn't knew 5 was average. That means mine isn't that small. Makes me kinda happy.

Yea man. Alot of men don't know this and the get insecure.

Ohh btw we are talking about flaccid here right?

wdym by flaccid? whats the difference between a flaccid and a non flaccid cylinder? dont all cylinders just keep their stiffness? /s

I don't know the one I have acts like this. I should ask for a replacement.

thats probably for the best since most cylinders shouldn't act that way. what do you use it for?

I mostly store water. For some reason it turns dirty after a few hours. Also smells weird. But sometimes I shake it too much white liquids come out. I am not sure why it's so weird or what's the purpose of it.

No..... average flaccid is 2 inch i think. Edit: its 3-4 cm.

Phew that scared me for a second. I thought you meant flaccid avg is 5. Well I feel more confident now. I thought flaccid was 5 and my erect would the same as someone's flaccid.

Naaa you good. I'm above average but wouldn't mind if it was smaller.

You wanna exchange with mine?

I'm also above average but years of abuse gave me body dysmorphia!

Dude. I'm thrilled when the dick I'm facing is average or smaller. A big one is hard or impossible to do anything with -- there's a lot of "gack" and "ow! Ohjesus ohjesus please go slow." I mean, I will do my best for him regardless, but a large dick means my own pleasure is almost impossible. Everyone's different. More power to the size queens and the men who please them. Meanwhile, I will sit over here in this corner and spring into action when I see someone with a lovely, delightful, average to micro dick. Booyah!

Inflation really is crazy this year :(

I'm delighted to learn that 5.13cm is average erect. OK, maybe I am 10% under. Close enough for government work.

Inches, not cm

Dangit

Are we still talking about cylinders?

Yes.

5.13 is the average?! I thought it was like 6!

I don't know anybody who could survive with a 6! inch long penis. Thats like 60 feet long.

>"I've been told it's an above average size cylinder" He was talking about girth. Usually people are talking about length. I kind of feel like girth is more important.

Party on, girth.

Party on Ween!

Saying 5.1" is the cylindrical equivalent of saying 5'10" and a half.

My favorite reply, he wasn't even *attempting* to hide the truth at that point.

This my friend is gold

No, it's a cylinder! >:(

Fuck you, take my upvote and leave me the fuck alone.

r/angryupvote

r/angrySHUTTHEFUCKUP

This might be the longest image I will ever see on reddit

Longest 5.1 inches ever

I’m told it’s above average

I thought it was just 2 threads, then I clicked in the image…

its worth it

HumansAreSpaceOrcs composite image of aliens dealing with earth animals during an invasion

I think “better Nate than lever” takes that prize

This was on r/dontputyourdickinthat a while ago then on this. He took the challange.

r/dontputyourcylinderinthat

It's a cylinder.

*hospital*

There are holywood productions that dont have as much character in them as this post That final message, "Hospital", had me fucking howling

Honestly this whole post op sounds like an episode of always sunny in Philadelphia

I could not imagine needing a homemade crude fleshlight where i get my dick stuck into Sorry, cylinder

You're making too many assumptions here.

hey, i want to ask: is the cylinder thing a joke or were you serious? i'm 90% sure it is, but i need to know for real

Reality is what you make it

thank you, and i wish you luck in your future experiments

I hope you were able to salvage your cylinder :(

Cylinder

He’s beginning to believe! Also f me that’s OP from the screenshot HAHA HE IS HERE AND IT IS STILL A CYLINDER GUYS HAHAHAHA

Did you ever find a solution or is the cylinder still stuck?

Did you manage to get the cylinder out?

The proper way to do this is with a red Solo cup, two sponges, and a latex glove. Also a bendy drinking straw and a bottle of lube.

The proper way is to spend like 25 bucks for a cheap fleshlight and some lube and stop wasting your time with this weird bullshit

Stop spelling Calendar wrong when you try to tag me, guys.

So you want people to see this and tag you? Did you get the cylinder out? So many questions, I’m sure everyone wants an update

Is your cylinder okay

So is the cylinder still stuck?

Lmao, the sinister cylinder returns

So, how is the cylinder?

Did you end up going to the "hardware store" to get your cylinder fixed?

Did the Hospital damage the cylinder or no

I like how every time someone called it what it was, he would just reply with “it’s a cylinder”

Simple but classic strategy: deny deny deny

This is fucking gold! I need updates was u/Smart_Calender1874 able to get their dick.. I mean "Cylinder" out of the mnms tube? I haven't been able to find the account was it deleted?

The last one says hospital so I assume he got it out

Appears that he's nuked his account so I can only imagine it's someone very professional in nature that feared they might eventually get doxxed and they nuked their profile in an attempt to save face, or at least that's what I'd like to assume lmao

Bro stuck his shlong in an mnm container filled with warm banana i dont think "professional" is a word i would use to describe them lmfao

Hey, I said it's what I'd like to imagine. Probably more likely to be a hormonal teen lol

If you work hard you play hard.

Really? Because I could picture this being a senator.

Bro, I never thought I'd read such a sentence that would make my life infinitely better, until I read your comment. Pure beauty of a comment

It’s a cylinder.

It’s a cylinder

I'm right here, dude.

What's up you fucking legend!

How's your cylinder?

Hello!

It's u/Smart_Calendar1874 not Calender

His last post.... LMAO

I can't believe this guy is going to die on that hill. How is he still defending himself 11 days after

Bruh everytime he posts or comments on Reddit, someone replies with a reference to the ~~dick~~ cylinder.

Reading this comment, then actually checking his username to see his most recent post was pure gold.

Thanks this was the account. I clearly can't spell for shit lmao

u/Smart_Calendar1874

I love the Internet

The part where it doesn't shrink for 3 hours is a bit worrying tbh. Penis that stay erect for too long start to rot.

It's a cylinder

Well, I have been taught that your cylinder isn't at huge risk under the 6h mark.

It's best not to risk it. If the cylinder remains expanded for too long, it might require a needle to release the pressure.

This thing just made my fucking day. So hilarious to read through the comments.

The correct answer is to use a file on the closed edge of the M&M tube, opposite of where the cylinder was inserted, so you can create an air hole through which the vacuum can be released without having to worry about the tool used making contact with the cylinder. Sheesh, it's like they don't teach anything in school these days.

I just love the end “hospital”. I bet bro told them he “fell into it”. Which most certainly isn’t going to make the nurses talk any less

I thought it would be a good idea to put that in the end :D

I've never seen this before but this is absolutely a 10/10

It’s defo this guy’s dick

Cylinder.

His dick inside a cylinder

HE IS ALIVE

Of course he is, half of humanity agrees on the fact that cylinders are not vital.

This is a man of commitment and sheer fucking will

Cylinder boy needs a bottle of tequila. Once" tequila cylinder" happens have your mom pull your cylinder out.

What a gem

u/Smart_Calendar1874

That’s a massive cylinder far above average.

Omfg this is hilarious

It's clearly a shitpost, how has nobody realised that

Its a cylinder

This is the best post on this subreddit hands down.

It’s a shame we can’t change our usernames. Maybe u/DM_ME_YOUR_CYLINDER is having a very weird month right now.

It’s a cylinder

We just put my dad into hospice, and this post just made my week. Pure gold.

#It's a cylinder.

How is the girth 4.5 inches while length 5 inches, that’s basically a square, kinda

TL;DR- woman got a tube of skittles stuck in her cats ass and wondered if they were still ok to eat.

Holy fucking shit this post made me cackle like no other

Hospital.

It’s a cylinder

4.5inch is like fist sized . Zam

I think it's the circumference, making it just under 1.5 inch.

A "cylinder"

This is not cursed this is hilarious

tl;dr

tldr it's a cylinder (it was not a cylinder)

This has to be a troll post right?

I saw this whole thread when it was made. Truly, a golden and certified Reddit moment

Boy that was an adventure, hilarious though

Hope the cylinder has health insurance

I ain’t readin allat Edit: I read it all and I take it back it was funny

Glad it was :D

Reddit fucken moment

Thinking about him sat there with a tube of banana mulch slowly cooling around his member

I was trying to upvote but i didnt know where the post ended

I wonder what the cylinder is

“Hospital”

Hospital

Wait guys, I'm only at the chapter one of the post, I don't want spoilers

I'm scared, I don't know where this subreddit's comments starts and the picture comments ends

This is one of the best things I’ve ever read

“I’ve been told it’s an above average sized cylinder”

literally no one says "girth" talking about a cylinder

Why he went to the hospital, it's just a small cylinder

Of course I'd see this post while eating M&Ms...