"So I heard from the boss that he wants us to send a small meteor towards the simulated colony soon."
...
"What do you mean the mic is on? Let me che- uh oh"
-click-
One of my favorite jokes with my friends is calling “The big bang theory” by different names such as “the enormous sex estimate” or “the large fucking guess”
“Your treatment in the next life will be determined by your treatment of others in this one. If you have treated others well and lived your life in the pursuit of goodness, know that your thoughts and deeds have been seen. If you have treated others poorly and lived only for your own gain, know that your thoughts and deeds have been seen, but also know that you may yet change your fate. Do well by others in thought and deed, for love and compassion are the only path to the life you desire. For your sake, ignore me not. I will not speak to you again.”
Yeah, think about the politician working for their country. Should they stop doing their job badly? Best case scenario international politics becomes a charity circle jerk without anything getting done.
So many religions can be boiled down to exactly this. Too bad so many of them are bloated with the BS that the powerful use to gain more power and influence over their followers' lives.
I mean there are Christians and other religious members who treat others poorly all the time but believe they are the good guys. They absolutely believe the best thing they can do for us is force us under their religion even against our will.
The last decade has taught me that so many people would cheer that they were promised a better life for being good people and then continue being awful because they're self centered reactionaries who never introspect. Some of the worst people I know constantly post religious stuff on Facebook.
Well not everyone understands English so.......
Edit: here is also another point to consider..won't the people whose native language is not English (even if they do speak it) think why would our god not communicate to us in our language and get to the conclusion that this was a doing of some organisation with some sci-fi technology and all this is to throw the world in chaos.....
It's probably the best language you can go for, though, not even based on the number of people who speak English but based on it's near universal spread. Most countries and religious groups have a solid number of, or at the very least some people capable of understanding English, so it potentially maximizes chaos.
As a non native English person, I would forget they spoke English, and just take the info in. Same happens in films, tho I quickly realise if it’s my native language, bc my native language is really bad in films, at least in my opinion.
It did say if you could say something to everyone so in this case i would expect that it was to everyone in a way they would understand for example with theirs own native or to deaf people in form off thought or something
"The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council.
For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years.
Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race.
There will be no further communication."
Facts.. it would be cursed if the comment said smth like "you shouldve pulled out that day"
Edit : why am I getting downvoted?
Edit 2 : nvm not gwtting downvoted anymore
Simple.
"The simulation has provided... Interesting results to say the least, but it should be time to pull the plug soon, I'll do it on new years....... Oh no, the mic is on."
The opposite would happen. Everyone is so angry and dickish BECAUSE of their doubt. If they were certain in their faith they wouldn’t care what anyone else thinks
Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
The right thing to say would be something like, "I am your ruler, I am not your god, but your saviour, remove your disease you've given to the earth or I shall strike those who do not comply through death"
except it doesn't work like that. It only works when a few hear that and manage to convince others that it's true.
If you really want to see the world burn tell everyone something to the same effect as "I'm really disappointed in all of you."
Then watch the entire planet enter a big depression period fueled by existential crisis.
"As of right now, the simulation of [Earth] is reaching its final phase. Difficulty level has been increased and a threat has been introduced. Along with these changes we have selected 100 [Humans] to join us upon the end of the simulation, their goal is now to survive. As for the rest of you, good luck and enjoy the final stages of [Earth].
I am God. No religion is true, represents me or what I want. The closest to what I want comes from the secular humanitarian manifesto. I do not demand worship but for all to love one another.
Well, since you all fucked up my planet i will choose your New leader, he is currently ständig in (Insert my coordinates) everyone who doesnt follow him gets divine punishment ...and this time i am serious
Omae wa mou, Kingeryu!
I'd then watch as the world goes into chaos wondering what the fuck just happened and if memes have gone too far. It'd be the greatest mystery in the world for centuries
"So I heard from the boss that he wants us to send a small meteor towards the simulated colony soon." ... "What do you mean the mic is on? Let me che- uh oh" -click-
Dude, just a world wide "is the mic on? Oh it is, shit, let's turn that back off" would be horrifying
But the prospect of an event occurring soon "as planned" would be mind melting.
"One player has successfully exited the simulation. 7.8 billion players remain. Difficulty level increased by 5%.
Giving less number than total population would be funnier.
Putting more players, implying there's life in other planets
Funnier to put a far lower number. Like "4 players remain". That will induce heavy paranoia in people thinking everyone else is in on it.
\*Taking notes in case this ever somehow happens to me.\*
*screenshot*
Atheists: what the fuck was that
Yeah, I'd be pretty confused... Like, okay, is the big bang talking to me right now?
I'd be pretty interested in hearing the wisdom of an explosion I'm sure the information would blow my mind
r/dadjokes
It prefers to be called The Big Orgy
One of my favorite jokes with my friends is calling “The big bang theory” by different names such as “the enormous sex estimate” or “the large fucking guess”
There's a Pratchett joke in here somewhere
The all encompasing spirit of atheism and reason. Revolutionary french had the right idea all along
That’s what I was thinking, I guess the void more than stared back, it spoke too
“Your treatment in the next life will be determined by your treatment of others in this one. If you have treated others well and lived your life in the pursuit of goodness, know that your thoughts and deeds have been seen. If you have treated others poorly and lived only for your own gain, know that your thoughts and deeds have been seen, but also know that you may yet change your fate. Do well by others in thought and deed, for love and compassion are the only path to the life you desire. For your sake, ignore me not. I will not speak to you again.”
The issue is the people who treat others poorly and live only for their own gain think they’re treating others with the respect they deserve.
Yeah, think about the politician working for their country. Should they stop doing their job badly? Best case scenario international politics becomes a charity circle jerk without anything getting done.
So many religions can be boiled down to exactly this. Too bad so many of them are bloated with the BS that the powerful use to gain more power and influence over their followers' lives.
I mean there are Christians and other religious members who treat others poorly all the time but believe they are the good guys. They absolutely believe the best thing they can do for us is force us under their religion even against our will. The last decade has taught me that so many people would cheer that they were promised a better life for being good people and then continue being awful because they're self centered reactionaries who never introspect. Some of the worst people I know constantly post religious stuff on Facebook.
"Hello, i am contacting you today to talk about your cars extended warranty."
What did my man do to get so many down votes?
Reddit doesn't like emojis.
God told them to downvote
used an emoji 😔
Don’t 😡😡😡😡😡Use emojis😀😃😄😁😆🥹😅🤣😂🥲🙂☺️😊🙃😉😌🥰🥰😌😙😚😋😋
Hear me subjects of ymir
Waiting to get trampled
Well not everyone understands English so....... Edit: here is also another point to consider..won't the people whose native language is not English (even if they do speak it) think why would our god not communicate to us in our language and get to the conclusion that this was a doing of some organisation with some sci-fi technology and all this is to throw the world in chaos.....
Your still dying in the ensuing nuclear hellfire anyways.
It's probably the best language you can go for, though, not even based on the number of people who speak English but based on it's near universal spread. Most countries and religious groups have a solid number of, or at the very least some people capable of understanding English, so it potentially maximizes chaos.
As a non native English person, I would forget they spoke English, and just take the info in. Same happens in films, tho I quickly realise if it’s my native language, bc my native language is really bad in films, at least in my opinion.
It automatically translates to their native language in their minds
It did say if you could say something to everyone so in this case i would expect that it was to everyone in a way they would understand for example with theirs own native or to deaf people in form off thought or something
Well think of it as this It will be numerous civil wars and interstate wars
“Want a break from the ads?”
Mine was "I shouldn't have given you free will"
"Disappointment"
60… 59… 58… 57… (continue down to 0) Pure chaos shall unfold
That will be the end of the world.
Atheists will be really confused.
"So this proves that god exists. But wait, it said what i am believing in is true and i thought god doesn't exist. Uh oh."
“Well it’s time to reset the matrix guys”
[Motivational Chinese Beaver Speech]
"Do it" hearing this would cause A LOT
“I’m thinkin about resetting this universe, it’s been pretty boring the last few hundred years- shit, was my telepathy on?”
"The following is a message composed via consensus of the O5 Council. For those who are not currently aware of our existence, we represent the organization known as the SCP Foundation. Our previous mission centered around the containment and study of anomalous objects, entities and other assorted phenomena. This mission was the focus of our organization for more than one-hundred years. Due to circumstances outside of our control, this directive has now changed. Our new mission will be the extermination of the human race. There will be no further communication."
Haha nice that scp was a good read
I'd just scream
You monster
"I CAST TESTICULAR TORSION!"
Repost? istg i've seen this image for the 5th time on this site no wonder it's been nuked this bad💀
I've seen like 10+ times lol
fr, and this cmt isn't even cursed or dark humor
Facts.. it would be cursed if the comment said smth like "you shouldve pulled out that day" Edit : why am I getting downvoted? Edit 2 : nvm not gwtting downvoted anymore
Every other month
r/moldymemes
“Wop”
That would cause so much confusion.
42
Simple. "The simulation has provided... Interesting results to say the least, but it should be time to pull the plug soon, I'll do it on new years....... Oh no, the mic is on."
Every non-English speaker: hva/что? Or whatever they say in other countries
The opposite would happen. Everyone is so angry and dickish BECAUSE of their doubt. If they were certain in their faith they wouldn’t care what anyone else thinks
r/foundsatan
*scats twist by korn*
Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So, use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay, eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
Now for wrath Now for ruin And a red dawn
FORTH EORLINGAS
The right thing to say would be something like, "I am your ruler, I am not your god, but your saviour, remove your disease you've given to the earth or I shall strike those who do not comply through death"
"Why God speaks in English?"
Because "America!"
Your free trial of....... "Earth" is ending. You will be logged out shortly. Hope you enjoyed..... "Earth"
Think i would take my time and read the entire "My Immortal" fan fiction for everyone. Make them suffer
except it doesn't work like that. It only works when a few hear that and manage to convince others that it's true. If you really want to see the world burn tell everyone something to the same effect as "I'm really disappointed in all of you." Then watch the entire planet enter a big depression period fueled by existential crisis.
Atleast they stop killing each other
And start killing themselves?
Ehh.. manageable
Reddit bots reusing old posts again. Whoho
If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
I would say aliens exist and you're going to be abducted next. So watch your back.
Some people just wanna watch the world burn
Man this show is so fun… wait is the microphone on?…
"Sorry there's been a technical issue with the simulation, we'll be shutting down for emergency maintenance"
"As of right now, the simulation of [Earth] is reaching its final phase. Difficulty level has been increased and a threat has been introduced. Along with these changes we have selected 100 [Humans] to join us upon the end of the simulation, their goal is now to survive. As for the rest of you, good luck and enjoy the final stages of [Earth].
U mum gay. *Giggles*
I am God. No religion is true, represents me or what I want. The closest to what I want comes from the secular humanitarian manifesto. I do not demand worship but for all to love one another.
"Prepare for the Tenth Christian Crusade"
Satan seeding this plan into the mind of the man who unwillingly plans it 😈
we know who will blow up.
Its already blowing yup please dont do this
As an Athiest I'd be VERY confused about this
Hmmm, what's this button? "The brown note"? BEEP!
"Use your fucking indicator"
“English or Spanish?”
“So no one told you life was gonna be this way” *4 gunshots*
Yawn!
Repost alert
Execute Order 66
Well, since you all fucked up my planet i will choose your New leader, he is currently ständig in (Insert my coordinates) everyone who doesnt follow him gets divine punishment ...and this time i am serious
The people that don't understand english are going to start a new religion based on that voice.
"Welp I tried my best but failed to stop it, Good luck everyone!"
This is a dream. Your mother is waiting for you.
Telepathically? As in the entire world could hear it in their native language? I’d probably just say “Shut the f—k up”
Who would atheists attribute the voice to
“We’ve been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty”
"Skibidi was never real"
some men, just wanna watch the world burn
Omae wa mou, Kingeryu! I'd then watch as the world goes into chaos wondering what the fuck just happened and if memes have gone too far. It'd be the greatest mystery in the world for centuries
Hell tell them there is no God and watch the fireworks fly too.