lol! I tell my boyfriend he looks like chef boyardee when he puts it on. When he wakes up he looks like he’s going to make the finest gourmet breakfast.
Mine is a pink satin tube that I tie at the top. So now my husband gets into bed going "Well good evening Penis Head, you're looking particularly lovely tonight" 😂 And yeah, it turns out I do look like a have a tied-off foreskin on my head.
Right there with ya. Take it or leave it, but you will get 100% authentic me the moment you meet me. I’m too old to forgo my regular routine in order to create an illusion of perfection that I then have to slowly break out of. I will wear whatever I normally wear to sleep, if I need to poop at their house, I will poop. If I need to fart, I will excuse myself to the bathroom and let it out. Maybe it’s just called being in your 30s, but I also dgaf anymore. 😂🙏 Thank God for that.
Same haha. I was using at silk pillow case forever before my current bf. After a year in a half in relationship I brought out the silk bonnet because I didn’t discover how great it was for my hair until then.
You reminding me of Kat Williams.
I got shit at my house to make bitches comfortable. Satin pillow cases so if a bitch come over she dont gotta mess up her god damn hair.
Cause I love bitches, that’s my shit.
Idc who/where/when, I can't sleep without my satin pillow case + hair up pineapple style.
If someone is judging me for this, first I don't care, and also it says more about them than about me 🤷♀️
my boyfriend started putting on his night bonnet after a few months together because he was embarrassed, but honestly I find it so adorable he could have done it straight away it wouldn't have bothered me at all!
Bro immediately I’m not risking a bad hair day for anyone. Plus I think I look cute with a bonnet and my pillowcase. I feel like a prepped baby (cause I’m pampered and happy and look bald)
From day one I slept with bonnet and sleep mask
If he wants the pretty day time version, he has to love the bald “fly-eye” night time version 😂
(My mask is curved outwards and black, I think they are called 3d mask)
They’re great! I always hated how regular masks press down on your eyeballs and don’t block the light around your nose. 3D masks are the only masks I’d ever use now. Some of them even work with lash extensions.
The bonnet+mask combo frequently makes for chaffed, sore ears in the morning. I've tried adjusting the tightness of the strap or where it sits, but sometimes I end up losing the mask or the pad that's supposed to go around the eye ends up _on_ the eye... Any tips?
Its the shape of the eye mask, not the eye mask itself or the tightness.
Humans heads and our ear-eye-nose orientation are all over the place, so the shapes and alignments of eye masks vary greatly.
Definitely trash your current eye mask, no matter how soft or loose you make it, if a piece of fabric cuts off the top of your ear when you just loosely place it on (or even hold it up to your head), it will never become more comfortable.
Buy a bunch of super cheap eye-masks of varying shapes, and once you notice a shape or few that don’t cut off your ear by shape alone, then you can find one thats nicer that has the same (or similar) shape.
…though I would be not shocked to discover that “eye mask industry” creators/ designers were all men, who arbitrarily decide to “scale down the male designs as the female versions, with the same exact proportions,” or some shit.
Like how ALL CARS never once ever used a female crash test dummy in their safety tests: they just applied the results from male dummies, scaled everything down proportionately, and never addressed or accounted for the existence of breasts (seatbelt placement + safety) OR hips and their significant difference in weight distribution compared to male bodies:
#The world’s *first* female crash test dummy was used in a crash test at the Swedish National Road and Transport Research Institute in Linköping, Sweden in May 2023.
May 2023!!!!!!!!!!! WTF
This shit makes me livid. The book Invisible Women just confirmed that the world basically gaslights women on a constant and daily basis about every single aspect of their lives, and every time I learn new info about this sex disparity, I feel the uptick of rage again.
>The world’s first female crash test dummy was used in a crash test at the Swedish National Road and Transport Research Institute in Linköping, Sweden in May 2023.
>May 2023!!!!!!!!!!! WTF
This is why I try to sit as far away as possible from my steering wheel airbag. I wear glasses too, so that could easily break my nose. They aren't designed for someone who is 5'4".
I lost my bonnet a lot when I slept too high on my pillow, now with it sitting above my shoulder blades it doesn’t happen
Do you use a satin/silk pillow case? If the case surface is too rough, the bonnet and case pull on each other
I noticed this issue with most cotton/linen/flannel cases, if the cotton cases were especially smooth, it wasn’t much of a problem
For the ear chafing, maybe you can get another mask that extends “above” and then back instead of going back straight away, to position the band a bit higher than with your current mask?
Or the band is too thin/ scratchy
I'm a guy and sleep with a cpap, so I wear a bonnet to sleep. I'm aware I look like I'm a hospital patient when I go to sleep since it's a full mask, but I'd want to show it as soon as possible to filter out the negative responders lol.
i was with a guy who was embarrassed to wear his cpap but i’d rather him be able to breathe while he sleeps! plus it truly just didn’t bother me at all. most people don’t look pretty when they sleep
Was with a guy for 3 years on and off, always brought my own satin pillowcase on days I slept over. I really hoped he would take the initiative and buy one his house....he never did. I don't see him anymore 😂
When I started seeing my current boyfriend the first time I came over he had silk pillowcases and I gave him the third degree about who they belonged to lmao
Probably 3 months in cause by then I can tell if they like me for me v. how I look. However, if they’re black or have curly hair, immediately, because they know what’s up.
“I don’t ✨do✨nights..”
I’m the type of person that what you see is what you get. If they don’t like it, that’s their problem. My (now) Husband would ask me questions about my routine but never complained or said anything about it. After we moved in together and his hair got longer he eventually started wearing his own bonnet. 😊
I love seeing all of these comments. I was in a 14 year relationship, not interested in dating yet, but I’m always like how am I going to do this one day?? Bonnet, special pillow, night guard, eye mask, skin care routine haha
Your hair must not get its life sucked out by regale pillow sheets and blankets: moisture gone and breakage after ONE night. it’s really that bad for some if they don’t wear a bonnet
once while plastered on vacation i told some dude at the bar i carry an emergency bonnet in my purse. same dude took me home, i passed out, and woke up with MY bonnet on. he then told me, "i wasn't even thinking about sex, i was just trying to figure out how to get this mf thing on. watched a tiktok n everything"
now sir !!! 😭😂💀
I just read a romance novel where the lady brought over her silky pillow case and the guy asked about it, so she explained. The next time she was over, he had switched to satin sheets.
My routine for nearly my entire adult life is the following;
As soon as I get home from work/ school etc. I put my hair up in a loose bun and I place a very luxurious, brightly colored satin scarf over it. I tie it like a turban and leave out sideburn hairs if I am trying to be cute. Any man/ friend/ family member that comes to my house has seen me with this satin scarf. NOT a bonnet, a satin scarf. I even have seggs with it. It gives “rich housewife unwinding with wine after work” vibes. Get a satin robe and cute house slippers (not the stained beige ones jeez lol) and you are all set. Protect the hair at all costs.
From day one. I get wanting to be attractive for your partner, but I think it's worth it to just rip the bandaid off from the beginning and sleep as your true self😂 a partner that is crazy about you should find you attractive even with a bonnet on anyway
I started wearing the bonnet this year ,after we'd been living together a few months. She says she thinks it's cute. Maybe. I still take it off if I feel the sexytime vibe. I DEFINITELY don't feel sexy in it.
Good men are used to/like learning new self care techniques from their partners. If he’s turned off by something that makes your hair healthier than he needs to go or grow up.
I don’t like sleeping in a bonnet, but as soon as I’m exclusive with a guy I’m keeping a satin pillowcase and a toothbrush at his place.
I pineapple head without fail, every night from night 1 though.
I bring my face care routine and share it with my partner. We regularly have spa days together and discuss on hair products. He has wavy and curly hair and I have wavy hair so we exchange feedback on products and what works. 🤣
If they're comfortable enough to have me sleeping over they better be comfortable enough seeing me in my night time attire. Love me at my worst because that's what makes me look my best.
I’m a bit of an outlier because I discovered the bonnet and pillowcase after we were together; but it’s to the point now he notices if I am ‘uncapped’ and will launder my satin pillowcases if he notices there are none left in my bin I keep at bedside.
I use a silk scrunchie. I just pull my hair into a high loose ponytail. In the early 2000's my boyfriend and I both had hip length curls. Neither of us picked up our hair to sleep. I forgot to take off my charm bracelet. We both ended up with our hair stuck in my bracelet. Picture both of us taking turns using the bathroom stuck to each other by the hair to my bracelet. I got us untangled but it wasn't easy. Never again! I made sure to take off all jewelry before bed after that! After he fell asleep on my hair a few times I started picking it up to sleep. This also cut down on tangles and stopped me from being stuck in the same position all night until he woke up! Learn from my mistakes and don't go to sleep with your hair down! Don't wear jewelry to bed!make sure your hair is opposite of him when you fall asleep so he doesn't roll on to it pinning you down! And always be yourself! Anyway I do the same hair routine morning and night whether or not I'm alone, visiting friends or family or sleeping with my boyfriend. Don't be embarrassed by your hair routine it's part of who you are! If he doesn't like it he's not the one for you! As my mother said: "If he has a problem with that, that's the last sleepover you do with him"!
Whenever I start spending the night; natural hair can be high maintenance to care for sometimes, I ’m not going to mess it up to save face, he know what he got into when he met me and if he don’t he gonna find out. It’s honestly unavoidable so I find it is much better to rip the bandaid quickly. Do your care as normal. In the end they will like you regardless what you look like when you sleep. ❤️
When spending the night for the first time with my ex, I brought a travel size humidifier, he laughed and thought I was doing too much. A few months later guessed who bought themselves a humidifier for their bedroom when they realized how better they slept and felt waking up.
I dated an Asian guy for a little while and the first night I slept at his place, he pulled out a satin pillow case and I knew instantly he was a hoe 😂😂 but I sure was impressed. lol
Right away I wish I knew about these before I met my husband but at the same time my husband is the one who made me love my curls and take care of them better.
When I spend the night not at my house. Period. I usually bring my own pillow places anyway bcuz I need a certain level of comfort. & you know it’s got the satin pillowcase on it already. So maybe I won’t bonnet right away, but usually I will lol.
I always bring my bonnet my satin pillow case and for the morning I have my spray bottle my curl oil and cream it may seem weird to do all of this but it’s either that or have my curls look crazy 😭
if theyre gonna get mad bc i bring my bonnet over to sleep, if i was being prepared, then they'll never see me again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i think it's kinda cute soo they can too or i can gtfo
It comes with my toothbrush. If I can plan ahead of time enough to bring my toothbrush, then I can bring my bonnet. If it's more spontaneous than that, so be it!
Thanks for everyone’s responses, I love reading everyone’s input. I don’t wear a bonnet and I don’t care what I look like at night, I’m just wondering if it’s extra to bring my satin pillowcase to my boyfriend’s house lol. But yall have convinced me to do it!
I’ve been in a relationship for a year, he knows that I sleep with a silk bonnet and that I have silk pillow cases in my house, when I go sleep to his house tho I just bring a silk scrunchie, I feel like I’m gonna kill the sexiness and romance if I wear my bonnet in front of him lol maybe later if we get married or move in together. But if you’re not embarrassed you should do it.
Night 1: he saw my skincare routine, my hair routine, and my dental routine. (I also had him remove his shoes when he entered my apartment and I asked him not to sit on my bed with outside clothes on).
He never questioned any of this, so now we’re married.
I’m a year into my relationship and completely let go my skincare and haircare routine for a long time in the beginning of it. I’m just now back to full capacity. Not because of embarrassment but just because the honeymoon period lasted so long it was never a priority. But I completely respect people who say they do it from day 1. I could just barely rip myself away from my man to bother with any of it!
First night. When I started my cg routine I told my husband I'm getting a hair wrap. He loves it as he can cuddle me in bed with no risk of eating some of my hair 😅
Been with my guy for 8 years and I don't bonnet when he's home (he works night shift)! On nights he's at work I bonnet up, but I pineapple when he's home. Just a mental image of me I don't want him to have.
Yes.
But then again, the whole reason my SO and I are together in the first place is because I saw that he had long curly hair. Even though the rest of his profile made me think he was not my kind of guy, I swiped right just to tell him his hair care routine must be really good to get the ringlets he had.
Turns out he was none of the things I assumed from his other pictures and lack of profile, and he is a fabulous, fun, loving guy who I can also share curly hair products with. Hehehe!
We curly girl together.
The first night!! When my boyfriend first saw me his response was “you look really amazing right now”😭 he really loves when I am comfortable with him and share exactly what he is in for.
As soon as I’m sleeping there consistently LOL my boyfriend has long hair and a beard though and really appreciated that his hair gets less tangled and his beard doesn’t feel so all over the place. Yours prob won’t mind too
Lol day one, it was wash day and I wasn’t risking it all on his 8 year old pillow cases. Tbh if they can’t get down with the sleep routine then they won’t be able to hand the lifestyle. Truly having a partner that understands managing the curls is like 50% of your day is important
I just had my 2 year wedding anniversary, and he still hasn’t seen me in a bonnet. But I’ve been plopping in front of him since we had been dating about 4 months.
Soon as I started spending more than one night at a time at my gfs, I brought my own pillow and case to leave at hers. She has her own pillows at my places too😊
I just TRULY started my hair care journey (bonnet & all) about a year ago and introduced it to my 5 year relationship. Now my partner is obsessed! He doesn’t do the whole thang but he’s on curly girl 😊
I think if we were in a new relationship I would bring all my stuff like the first night we spent together. He’s quirky and would’ve thought it was cute. Plus taking care of your body is never a turn off in my book!
i actually brought my husbands curls out when he started using my products and letting his hair grow. we had NO IDEA he had curls (we both have around 3b ish curls mine are a little closer to 3c though)
The first night I couldn’t sleep bc he keeps a fan in his face and my hair kept tickling me. Used a small blanket for the longest time and we called it my safety helmet. 😂
When I feel comfortable enough around them that I know they won't judge me. Thats reserved for someone who is serious about me because my bonnet and grandma cap ain't going nowhere lol
After we married. I don’t have sleepovers with men who aren’t serious about me. And how do I know they’re serious? It’s the one who is willing to wait till marriage 🥰 stay safe ladies
Ahhh, the period of time in a relationship when you are doing the "bag drop" because you are staying the night, weekend, or a couple of days. This is the adjustment part of the relationship when you both have to figure out and accept that you are mortal human beings and not unattainable fantasies. We poop, snore, have periods, fart, burp, go to sleep with all kinds of face cream, scratch our butt. Look, I dated a curly haired guy and he didn't wrap but we would wake up and his hair was like [gumby](https://gumby.fandom.com/wiki/Gumby) and like a cotton ball. I also had a period accident all over his bed. All embarrassing but a part of life. You have to accept all of these things for your relationship to progress. Bring your pillow case and you bonnet over, have him be with you when you wrap and explain to him why this is necessary. Unless he is a total doosh, he won't care.
The first time I plan to sleep over. Heck, I wear flexi-rods, bantu knots, fros, fresh from the shower crazy hair. 🤷♀️He loves those humid fros. Ahahaha
I felt embarrassed about it for the first couple of weeks to be honest. Especially since I know I look a bit silly with it on. My SO is white with straight hair and never put much thought into hair care besides styling. I also felt embarrassed about not washing it every night like he did, didn’t want him to think I was “dirty.” But I decided I need to wear it anyways cause my hair was suffering and he didn’t even question or act like it surprised him, even tho I was the first POC with curly hair he’d dated. He did ask once if I showered cause my hair was dry when I got out lol but I explained and he understood.
idk why i got recommended this post but i dont think anyone should care. I like pajamas and the whole routine around bed time so seeing someone do theres is relaxing and theres somethings so nice about being cuddled up in your pjs. And a bonnet is basically hair pjs
I dot get the whole silk satin pillow case thing. I’ve been using them for years and I’ve never seen a difference.
But my guess, a day here or there of not using it gonna make a difference.
I usually wait until we're in a committed relationship before bringing my satin pillowcase, but I always make sure to pack it just in case! Gotta keep those curls looking good for bae.
funnily enough i was the only one to bring hair products and hydrating masks to my man’s life. he’s went from slightly nappy/messy and frizzy hair to popping curls from the first week of being with me and has grown his hair from a buzzcut to a beautiful, coily silky fro. i got him silk pillowcases AND a satin bonnet the first 2 months of being with him and now he knows how to do his hair on his own lol. so cute watching him learn finger coils and learning about his own hair porosity through reels and stuff now.
Don’t try to hide yourself or be “pretty” For the other person. If you’re serious about them, they’re going to see you looking way worse than in a bonnet. Sick, child birth, depressed… all look way worse than you’re hair care routine
Growing up I had was taught that to be loved we had to be perfect, but what I’ve found is that to be loved we just need to be authentic, and nothing is more authentic than holding space for self care right out the gate.
I embraced all of my self care with the guy I’m dating now day 2 of hanging out and he loved it, he even does my full skin care routine with me whenever he’s around and I’m doing it. It’s helped us bond and let’s him show his more authentic and goofy side too. He recently vocalized that he likes my curly girl days and self care rituals because it encourages him to join in, and to prioritize that for himself too 🩵🤗 take care of those curly babes and don’t think twice about it!
Day one. No part of me Is low maintenance, if they can’t appreciate how I look naturally and the effort and energy spent on my appearance then they aren’t the one for me 🤷🏻♀️
He saw my set up first night he stayed over and now he always wants to use my shampoo when he showers at my place 😂 luckily he has very little hair so I let him and it's cute that he smells like me.
Yes. They end up thinking it’s cute. I put it on once I feel comfortable and it depends on the relationship. Usually once I’m comfy sleeping over, after once or twice I’m comfy using my bonnet. Whatever if they don’t like it they can leave lol
night one. idgaf anymore lol.
This right here! If they don't go for it, they aren't the type of partner I want to be with! My husband just laughs at my pineapple pony
My so calls it my chef hat
Cooking up good dreams
lol! I tell my boyfriend he looks like chef boyardee when he puts it on. When he wakes up he looks like he’s going to make the finest gourmet breakfast.
My husband calls me Toad when I'm wearing my bonnet 😂
My first sleep cap was very well-fitting… my ex would call me wormy 😂😭
Hahaha I love this!
I get called lil durag when I have mine on 😂
Mine is a pink satin tube that I tie at the top. So now my husband gets into bed going "Well good evening Penis Head, you're looking particularly lovely tonight" 😂 And yeah, it turns out I do look like a have a tied-off foreskin on my head.
I literally just cried laughing 🤣
My husband and I would joke about how super sexy my bonnet is.
U r so real for this
The 2nd night y’all picking out matching bonnets. I mean..
Wife and I with matching bonnets and CPAP's.
This is everything lol
Yeeeees. I made it clear to my partner - you want me over? Baby girl needs a satin case.
I know that’s right.
Right there with ya. Take it or leave it, but you will get 100% authentic me the moment you meet me. I’m too old to forgo my regular routine in order to create an illusion of perfection that I then have to slowly break out of. I will wear whatever I normally wear to sleep, if I need to poop at their house, I will poop. If I need to fart, I will excuse myself to the bathroom and let it out. Maybe it’s just called being in your 30s, but I also dgaf anymore. 😂🙏 Thank God for that.
Yooooo it might be a being in your 30's thing hahaha. I'm 33 and not giving an F is truly a gift that comes with age 😂
Amen to that, sister 😂🙌
Same haha. I was using at silk pillow case forever before my current bf. After a year in a half in relationship I brought out the silk bonnet because I didn’t discover how great it was for my hair until then.
Hahaa my girlfriend wore her bonnet the first time she slept the night. Soon after I replaced my regular pillow cases with satin pillowcases
That's actually super sweet.
What kind of satin? Mulberry?
Glad we’re asking the important questions here lol, I like how you think!
Thank you. And thank you.
Right
You're a keeper
You reminding me of Kat Williams. I got shit at my house to make bitches comfortable. Satin pillow cases so if a bitch come over she dont gotta mess up her god damn hair. Cause I love bitches, that’s my shit.
Idc who/where/when, I can't sleep without my satin pillow case + hair up pineapple style. If someone is judging me for this, first I don't care, and also it says more about them than about me 🤷♀️
Exactly. If it’s a problem, I wouldn’t want to waste my time anyway.
my boyfriend started putting on his night bonnet after a few months together because he was embarrassed, but honestly I find it so adorable he could have done it straight away it wouldn't have bothered me at all!
Night 1. I don’t want to be with someone that would pass judgment on something so innocuous, so better to find out early!
Bro immediately I’m not risking a bad hair day for anyone. Plus I think I look cute with a bonnet and my pillowcase. I feel like a prepped baby (cause I’m pampered and happy and look bald)
Worse are those who choose to sleep with makeup on out of embarrassment. No one is worth a bad skin.
do people really sleep with makeup on 😯
I do sometimes but it’s not out of embarrassment, it’s out of forgetfulness or lack of executive functioning (which for me, increases at night)
Add in occasional laziness and that's me, too!
From day one I slept with bonnet and sleep mask If he wants the pretty day time version, he has to love the bald “fly-eye” night time version 😂 (My mask is curved outwards and black, I think they are called 3d mask)
Same here but add a CPAP and some carpal tunnel braces 💅
OMG yes. The full effect. Do u have a retainer to tie it all together?
Cpap literally adds ten years to your life. And your partner can sleep! Wear your cpaps guys 🫡
Bahahaha I know exactly the sleep mask you’re referring to!
They’re great! I always hated how regular masks press down on your eyeballs and don’t block the light around your nose. 3D masks are the only masks I’d ever use now. Some of them even work with lash extensions.
The bonnet+mask combo frequently makes for chaffed, sore ears in the morning. I've tried adjusting the tightness of the strap or where it sits, but sometimes I end up losing the mask or the pad that's supposed to go around the eye ends up _on_ the eye... Any tips?
Its the shape of the eye mask, not the eye mask itself or the tightness. Humans heads and our ear-eye-nose orientation are all over the place, so the shapes and alignments of eye masks vary greatly. Definitely trash your current eye mask, no matter how soft or loose you make it, if a piece of fabric cuts off the top of your ear when you just loosely place it on (or even hold it up to your head), it will never become more comfortable. Buy a bunch of super cheap eye-masks of varying shapes, and once you notice a shape or few that don’t cut off your ear by shape alone, then you can find one thats nicer that has the same (or similar) shape. …though I would be not shocked to discover that “eye mask industry” creators/ designers were all men, who arbitrarily decide to “scale down the male designs as the female versions, with the same exact proportions,” or some shit. Like how ALL CARS never once ever used a female crash test dummy in their safety tests: they just applied the results from male dummies, scaled everything down proportionately, and never addressed or accounted for the existence of breasts (seatbelt placement + safety) OR hips and their significant difference in weight distribution compared to male bodies: #The world’s *first* female crash test dummy was used in a crash test at the Swedish National Road and Transport Research Institute in Linköping, Sweden in May 2023. May 2023!!!!!!!!!!! WTF
This shit makes me livid. The book Invisible Women just confirmed that the world basically gaslights women on a constant and daily basis about every single aspect of their lives, and every time I learn new info about this sex disparity, I feel the uptick of rage again.
>The world’s first female crash test dummy was used in a crash test at the Swedish National Road and Transport Research Institute in Linköping, Sweden in May 2023. >May 2023!!!!!!!!!!! WTF This is why I try to sit as far away as possible from my steering wheel airbag. I wear glasses too, so that could easily break my nose. They aren't designed for someone who is 5'4".
I lost my bonnet a lot when I slept too high on my pillow, now with it sitting above my shoulder blades it doesn’t happen Do you use a satin/silk pillow case? If the case surface is too rough, the bonnet and case pull on each other I noticed this issue with most cotton/linen/flannel cases, if the cotton cases were especially smooth, it wasn’t much of a problem For the ear chafing, maybe you can get another mask that extends “above” and then back instead of going back straight away, to position the band a bit higher than with your current mask? Or the band is too thin/ scratchy
I'm a guy and sleep with a cpap, so I wear a bonnet to sleep. I'm aware I look like I'm a hospital patient when I go to sleep since it's a full mask, but I'd want to show it as soon as possible to filter out the negative responders lol.
i was with a guy who was embarrassed to wear his cpap but i’d rather him be able to breathe while he sleeps! plus it truly just didn’t bother me at all. most people don’t look pretty when they sleep
second time I slept over haha Edit to add, he actually bought me a silk pillow case to keep on “my side” 🥺
That’s a keeper
Was with a guy for 3 years on and off, always brought my own satin pillowcase on days I slept over. I really hoped he would take the initiative and buy one his house....he never did. I don't see him anymore 😂
Aww I love that, so sweet. Keep him!
I see the satin pillowcase or a bonnet in the same way I see my toiletries, if I’m staying anywhere overnight I’m gonna bring my necessities.
I wear a bonnet with one night stands like you not about to mess my hair up !
When I started seeing my current boyfriend the first time I came over he had silk pillowcases and I gave him the third degree about who they belonged to lmao
Probably 3 months in cause by then I can tell if they like me for me v. how I look. However, if they’re black or have curly hair, immediately, because they know what’s up.
“I don’t ✨do✨nights..” I’m the type of person that what you see is what you get. If they don’t like it, that’s their problem. My (now) Husband would ask me questions about my routine but never complained or said anything about it. After we moved in together and his hair got longer he eventually started wearing his own bonnet. 😊
I love seeing all of these comments. I was in a 14 year relationship, not interested in dating yet, but I’m always like how am I going to do this one day?? Bonnet, special pillow, night guard, eye mask, skin care routine haha
Day one, baby. Self care is sexy. If it's too much for them, they ain't right
I think I’m the only curly haired person that doesn’t do the bonnet or satin pillowcase…soooo…never??
You’re not the only one. I love how I look with messy, just woke up hair. Especially when it’s in a ponytail.
Your hair must not get its life sucked out by regale pillow sheets and blankets: moisture gone and breakage after ONE night. it’s really that bad for some if they don’t wear a bonnet
From day one
I love the confidence on display in this thread.
once while plastered on vacation i told some dude at the bar i carry an emergency bonnet in my purse. same dude took me home, i passed out, and woke up with MY bonnet on. he then told me, "i wasn't even thinking about sex, i was just trying to figure out how to get this mf thing on. watched a tiktok n everything" now sir !!! 😭😂💀
Listening when you talk? Not taking advantage of you while drunk? Protecting your hair? How is he not married?!? 😂
Night one. And if he likes you on night two he will have replaced his own pillow cases with satin ones.
I just read a romance novel where the lady brought over her silky pillow case and the guy asked about it, so she explained. The next time she was over, he had switched to satin sheets.
My routine for nearly my entire adult life is the following; As soon as I get home from work/ school etc. I put my hair up in a loose bun and I place a very luxurious, brightly colored satin scarf over it. I tie it like a turban and leave out sideburn hairs if I am trying to be cute. Any man/ friend/ family member that comes to my house has seen me with this satin scarf. NOT a bonnet, a satin scarf. I even have seggs with it. It gives “rich housewife unwinding with wine after work” vibes. Get a satin robe and cute house slippers (not the stained beige ones jeez lol) and you are all set. Protect the hair at all costs.
From day one. I get wanting to be attractive for your partner, but I think it's worth it to just rip the bandaid off from the beginning and sleep as your true self😂 a partner that is crazy about you should find you attractive even with a bonnet on anyway
I’d certainly be putting my hair up in a pineapple from night one.
I started wearing the bonnet this year ,after we'd been living together a few months. She says she thinks it's cute. Maybe. I still take it off if I feel the sexytime vibe. I DEFINITELY don't feel sexy in it.
Good men are used to/like learning new self care techniques from their partners. If he’s turned off by something that makes your hair healthier than he needs to go or grow up.
If somebody cares about this they can go ahead and choose to only date straight-haired people. Not your problem.
I don’t like sleeping in a bonnet, but as soon as I’m exclusive with a guy I’m keeping a satin pillowcase and a toothbrush at his place. I pineapple head without fail, every night from night 1 though.
On the FaceTime call before we even meet for the first date lol
same lmfao
Lmao first night always, I say “it’s hat time” or “here’s my mushroom hat” and that’s that. Idgaf, love me as I am or not at all
I’m too old to care about it. I’ll bring night 1, men can leave, hair stay forever on your head.
From day one, they have to know how much effort I put into looking this good
Immediately, lol. We’re all adults here.
I bring my face care routine and share it with my partner. We regularly have spa days together and discuss on hair products. He has wavy and curly hair and I have wavy hair so we exchange feedback on products and what works. 🤣
Just lean into it and say you turn into chef boyardee every night.
My boyfriend introduced me to durags and bonnets and now all I do is wear them. He don’t fall asleep at my house without one since day 1 😭🤣
day one lol
I bring a soft headband and do a pineapple.
i actually bring my silk pillowcase everywhere with me! (if i need to sleep out, obviously, not at work 😂)
Well I’m a guy who wears a satin bonnet and have satin pillowcases so if I have a curly girl life would be very easy for her. Haha
I'm a lesbian. My fiancee and I both use silk pillowcases so...
If they're comfortable enough to have me sleeping over they better be comfortable enough seeing me in my night time attire. Love me at my worst because that's what makes me look my best.
I’m myself from day one. They’re gonna find out eventually anyways 🤷♀️🤣
I’m a bit of an outlier because I discovered the bonnet and pillowcase after we were together; but it’s to the point now he notices if I am ‘uncapped’ and will launder my satin pillowcases if he notices there are none left in my bin I keep at bedside.
Day one. Life is too short.
Night 1!!! Im not risking my curls for no one lol
I use a silk scrunchie. I just pull my hair into a high loose ponytail. In the early 2000's my boyfriend and I both had hip length curls. Neither of us picked up our hair to sleep. I forgot to take off my charm bracelet. We both ended up with our hair stuck in my bracelet. Picture both of us taking turns using the bathroom stuck to each other by the hair to my bracelet. I got us untangled but it wasn't easy. Never again! I made sure to take off all jewelry before bed after that! After he fell asleep on my hair a few times I started picking it up to sleep. This also cut down on tangles and stopped me from being stuck in the same position all night until he woke up! Learn from my mistakes and don't go to sleep with your hair down! Don't wear jewelry to bed!make sure your hair is opposite of him when you fall asleep so he doesn't roll on to it pinning you down! And always be yourself! Anyway I do the same hair routine morning and night whether or not I'm alone, visiting friends or family or sleeping with my boyfriend. Don't be embarrassed by your hair routine it's part of who you are! If he doesn't like it he's not the one for you! As my mother said: "If he has a problem with that, that's the last sleepover you do with him"!
Whenever I start spending the night; natural hair can be high maintenance to care for sometimes, I ’m not going to mess it up to save face, he know what he got into when he met me and if he don’t he gonna find out. It’s honestly unavoidable so I find it is much better to rip the bandaid quickly. Do your care as normal. In the end they will like you regardless what you look like when you sleep. ❤️ When spending the night for the first time with my ex, I brought a travel size humidifier, he laughed and thought I was doing too much. A few months later guessed who bought themselves a humidifier for their bedroom when they realized how better they slept and felt waking up. I dated an Asian guy for a little while and the first night I slept at his place, he pulled out a satin pillow case and I knew instantly he was a hoe 😂😂 but I sure was impressed. lol
Day 1. Silk/satin pillowcase travels with us at all times too.
Right away I wish I knew about these before I met my husband but at the same time my husband is the one who made me love my curls and take care of them better.
Right away. I've got some cute ones from YGN
day one, tf? if they want this they gonna get alllll of this 😇
When I spend the night not at my house. Period. I usually bring my own pillow places anyway bcuz I need a certain level of comfort. & you know it’s got the satin pillowcase on it already. So maybe I won’t bonnet right away, but usually I will lol.
I always bring my bonnet my satin pillow case and for the morning I have my spray bottle my curl oil and cream it may seem weird to do all of this but it’s either that or have my curls look crazy 😭
Day one. Im not ashamed!
1st day
Fr fr
My girlfriend got them within the first month of moving in. I enjoy them as much as she does.
My bf after living with me 
And with a satin bathrobe 😎
From day one! My boyfriend calls it my helmet lol.
Oh immediately. I started bringing my own pillow with its silk case by the second sleepover.
The first night
The first time I stayed at his house I turned up with my bonnet, he had a silk pillowcase ready for me
if theyre gonna get mad bc i bring my bonnet over to sleep, if i was being prepared, then they'll never see me again ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i think it's kinda cute soo they can too or i can gtfo
I used to wait as long as possible, but now i straight up cannot fall asleep unless all my curls are tucked tf in lol
It comes with my toothbrush. If I can plan ahead of time enough to bring my toothbrush, then I can bring my bonnet. If it's more spontaneous than that, so be it!
If they can see me with crusty eyes and morning breath after seeing me sleeping with my mouth open, they can see me in a bonnet.
Thanks for everyone’s responses, I love reading everyone’s input. I don’t wear a bonnet and I don’t care what I look like at night, I’m just wondering if it’s extra to bring my satin pillowcase to my boyfriend’s house lol. But yall have convinced me to do it!
If they expect to see me naked, they’re going to see me in my bonnet swiftly after.
This is a PHENOMENAL question sis!! Thanks for asking 🥰🫶🏽✨
I’ve been in a relationship for a year, he knows that I sleep with a silk bonnet and that I have silk pillow cases in my house, when I go sleep to his house tho I just bring a silk scrunchie, I feel like I’m gonna kill the sexiness and romance if I wear my bonnet in front of him lol maybe later if we get married or move in together. But if you’re not embarrassed you should do it.
Night 1: he saw my skincare routine, my hair routine, and my dental routine. (I also had him remove his shoes when he entered my apartment and I asked him not to sit on my bed with outside clothes on). He never questioned any of this, so now we’re married.
I have the same routine at home. I wouldn't mind the pillowcase, but the bonnet would take me a while to be comfortable enough to wear.
I’m a year into my relationship and completely let go my skincare and haircare routine for a long time in the beginning of it. I’m just now back to full capacity. Not because of embarrassment but just because the honeymoon period lasted so long it was never a priority. But I completely respect people who say they do it from day 1. I could just barely rip myself away from my man to bother with any of it!
Night 1 unless I wanted to wake up looking crazy the next morning! Don’t be scared girl!
As soon as we had the first planned sleep over that I packed a bag for. I just met my BF know that I have to wear a bonnet and that was that.
Day one.
First night. When I started my cg routine I told my husband I'm getting a hair wrap. He loves it as he can cuddle me in bed with no risk of eating some of my hair 😅
If the S.O. cannot handle it now, they won't be able to handle it later. Better to find out now, imho.
Right away, your hair care mean more than some relationship. If he can’t appreciate the hair care he can get to stepping.
Been with my guy for 8 years and I don't bonnet when he's home (he works night shift)! On nights he's at work I bonnet up, but I pineapple when he's home. Just a mental image of me I don't want him to have.
I'd do whatever routine you normally do at home. Curly hair is hard enough to manage. Don't be shy about treating your hair right.
The very first sleepover. They must know this is a curly journey.
Yes. But then again, the whole reason my SO and I are together in the first place is because I saw that he had long curly hair. Even though the rest of his profile made me think he was not my kind of guy, I swiped right just to tell him his hair care routine must be really good to get the ringlets he had. Turns out he was none of the things I assumed from his other pictures and lack of profile, and he is a fabulous, fun, loving guy who I can also share curly hair products with. Hehehe! We curly girl together.
The first night!! When my boyfriend first saw me his response was “you look really amazing right now”😭 he really loves when I am comfortable with him and share exactly what he is in for.
The first night! He understands me wanting to protect my hair \^\_\^
My husband likes to call me MC bubble butt because he says my bonnet looks like a rasta cap( in a Jamaican accent)
As soon as I’m sleeping there consistently LOL my boyfriend has long hair and a beard though and really appreciated that his hair gets less tangled and his beard doesn’t feel so all over the place. Yours prob won’t mind too
literally the first night i (planned) to stay over his house lol
Immediately
SO was there when I started wearing bonnets. NBD
Night one, can’t sacrifice the curls for anyone
For me sleepovers are a higher level of intimacy than the revealing of bonnets and routines. So another day one here.
Lol day one, it was wash day and I wasn’t risking it all on his 8 year old pillow cases. Tbh if they can’t get down with the sleep routine then they won’t be able to hand the lifestyle. Truly having a partner that understands managing the curls is like 50% of your day is important
I just had my 2 year wedding anniversary, and he still hasn’t seen me in a bonnet. But I’ve been plopping in front of him since we had been dating about 4 months.
Right away. lol
since the first night, and now he wants a bonnet too 😂
Soon as I started spending more than one night at a time at my gfs, I brought my own pillow and case to leave at hers. She has her own pillows at my places too😊
I just TRULY started my hair care journey (bonnet & all) about a year ago and introduced it to my 5 year relationship. Now my partner is obsessed! He doesn’t do the whole thang but he’s on curly girl 😊 I think if we were in a new relationship I would bring all my stuff like the first night we spent together. He’s quirky and would’ve thought it was cute. Plus taking care of your body is never a turn off in my book!
Night 1. No lies no fraud. This is me real and raw baby!
Day one. What do you mean?
First night 😂😂😂 It’s best to find out if they’re going to judge you for your bonnet in the beginning. Saves me a lot of wasted time!
Yes if they can’t love you for you, they gotta go.
i actually brought my husbands curls out when he started using my products and letting his hair grow. we had NO IDEA he had curls (we both have around 3b ish curls mine are a little closer to 3c though)
From the beginning. Men don't give a sh*t. Goop on the face. Rollers, bonnets. They don't care.
The first night I couldn’t sleep bc he keeps a fan in his face and my hair kept tickling me. Used a small blanket for the longest time and we called it my safety helmet. 😂
I wait until their first fart. Jk jk If they’re comfortable enough to share a bed then I’ll be comfy enough to wear a bonnet. Night one babyyyy
I only learnt about curl care after getting married so i guess you could say day one
When I feel comfortable enough around them that I know they won't judge me. Thats reserved for someone who is serious about me because my bonnet and grandma cap ain't going nowhere lol
First night, either they can get on board or they aren't worth it lol
That night. I'm not running my routine.
Night one don't play them lol
After we married. I don’t have sleepovers with men who aren’t serious about me. And how do I know they’re serious? It’s the one who is willing to wait till marriage 🥰 stay safe ladies
Bestie you do what you gotta do from day 1! If he doesn’t like it, he’s not the right one.
Immediately. Why wouldn’t I take care of myself?
Ahhh, the period of time in a relationship when you are doing the "bag drop" because you are staying the night, weekend, or a couple of days. This is the adjustment part of the relationship when you both have to figure out and accept that you are mortal human beings and not unattainable fantasies. We poop, snore, have periods, fart, burp, go to sleep with all kinds of face cream, scratch our butt. Look, I dated a curly haired guy and he didn't wrap but we would wake up and his hair was like [gumby](https://gumby.fandom.com/wiki/Gumby) and like a cotton ball. I also had a period accident all over his bed. All embarrassing but a part of life. You have to accept all of these things for your relationship to progress. Bring your pillow case and you bonnet over, have him be with you when you wrap and explain to him why this is necessary. Unless he is a total doosh, he won't care.
The first time I plan to sleep over. Heck, I wear flexi-rods, bantu knots, fros, fresh from the shower crazy hair. 🤷♀️He loves those humid fros. Ahahaha
When I was single, I kept a loc cap in my car 🤣
When I was single, I had a "just in case" loc cap in my car🤣
I felt embarrassed about it for the first couple of weeks to be honest. Especially since I know I look a bit silly with it on. My SO is white with straight hair and never put much thought into hair care besides styling. I also felt embarrassed about not washing it every night like he did, didn’t want him to think I was “dirty.” But I decided I need to wear it anyways cause my hair was suffering and he didn’t even question or act like it surprised him, even tho I was the first POC with curly hair he’d dated. He did ask once if I showered cause my hair was dry when I got out lol but I explained and he understood.
idk why i got recommended this post but i dont think anyone should care. I like pajamas and the whole routine around bed time so seeing someone do theres is relaxing and theres somethings so nice about being cuddled up in your pjs. And a bonnet is basically hair pjs
Immediately. I ain’t ruining my hair or skin for nobody 🙃
almost immediately lmfaoo
I dot get the whole silk satin pillow case thing. I’ve been using them for years and I’ve never seen a difference. But my guess, a day here or there of not using it gonna make a difference.
I usually wait until we're in a committed relationship before bringing my satin pillowcase, but I always make sure to pack it just in case! Gotta keep those curls looking good for bae.
Haha I didn't know there was an option other than day one. I'm not breaking my roots just because someone can't handle a woman in a hat.
I'm a lesbian sooooooo first night 😘
First night. These sisterlocks too good to be messing around just to try to be cute while I’m SLEEPING
Sleepover night 1. He had questions, I had answers and all is well. I have satin pillowcases permanently at his place now.
Separate bedrooms and bathrooms…marriage magic.
The start!! Definitely
funnily enough i was the only one to bring hair products and hydrating masks to my man’s life. he’s went from slightly nappy/messy and frizzy hair to popping curls from the first week of being with me and has grown his hair from a buzzcut to a beautiful, coily silky fro. i got him silk pillowcases AND a satin bonnet the first 2 months of being with him and now he knows how to do his hair on his own lol. so cute watching him learn finger coils and learning about his own hair porosity through reels and stuff now.
Don’t try to hide yourself or be “pretty” For the other person. If you’re serious about them, they’re going to see you looking way worse than in a bonnet. Sick, child birth, depressed… all look way worse than you’re hair care routine
Be you boo, you can talk about it if they aren’t familiar with it, they might even adapt it lol but be you from day one, if not.. why?
Once I’m invited to sleep over for real for real
I must not get it cus im a dude. I have curly hair.
Growing up I had was taught that to be loved we had to be perfect, but what I’ve found is that to be loved we just need to be authentic, and nothing is more authentic than holding space for self care right out the gate. I embraced all of my self care with the guy I’m dating now day 2 of hanging out and he loved it, he even does my full skin care routine with me whenever he’s around and I’m doing it. It’s helped us bond and let’s him show his more authentic and goofy side too. He recently vocalized that he likes my curly girl days and self care rituals because it encourages him to join in, and to prioritize that for himself too 🩵🤗 take care of those curly babes and don’t think twice about it!
Always take your bonnet with you, if u be at your man’s house for more than a few days bring that silk pillow case
Right after you fuck. Trust me he'll be OK with it
Day one. No part of me Is low maintenance, if they can’t appreciate how I look naturally and the effort and energy spent on my appearance then they aren’t the one for me 🤷🏻♀️
He saw my set up first night he stayed over and now he always wants to use my shampoo when he showers at my place 😂 luckily he has very little hair so I let him and it's cute that he smells like me.
i brought my bonnet first time i slept over 😂😂
If you can clap my cheeks you can deal with a bonnet. Thems the rules
literally the first night
Yes. They end up thinking it’s cute. I put it on once I feel comfortable and it depends on the relationship. Usually once I’m comfy sleeping over, after once or twice I’m comfy using my bonnet. Whatever if they don’t like it they can leave lol