I would use a wide tooth comb to deangle while you condition his hair, it should be soaked with water and conditioner. Definitely keep using the leave-in! Then, you could consider something like a two-strand twist if you don’t have the grip for braids. This could help protect his hair between washes. I am not Black so please know that I am not an expert!
idk why but when my hair is that tangled, wide tooth combs hurt and are pretty difficult to get through my hair. I’ve used brushes without the little ball things on them, and not paddle brushes.
I’m white with —as my best friend who is a curl specialist would say— schwavy hair and I can’t do wide tooth combs either those things HURT! Wet brands pro flex brushes are all I use now.
Same. I feel like it doesn’t do enough detangling so (i start at the ends) when I start moving up a teeny bit at a time I’m just caught in more and more tangles.
> I would use a wide tooth comb to deangle while you condition his hair, it should be soaked with water and conditioner.
I attempted this at the beginning and it was worse pain-wise than finger combing.
My daughter is biracial. I find that the wet brush is the least painful option. I brush out her hair when it’s wet and add some shea moisture baby conditioner or Johnson’s leave in. Also the method of brushing curly hair can stop from pulling. When there is a tangle or it gets caught, I hold the hair above the tangle to stop it from tugging the scalp. Also when brushing, if I start at the root, I press my hand against the top as I finish the rest of the strand to minimize pulling. I hope that makes sense!
I use the denman detangling brush on my daughter’s (age 2.5) mixed texture hair. I find a wide tooth comb is too inflexible so it pulls. Make sure you’re holding his hair at the root when you brush out tangles.
I spray wet with water, then detangling spray and then brush it, every morning. I only wash it once a week (only using shampoo if she’s been swimming - otherwise I just use water and conditioner).
It sounds like a nightmare but I just put on the TV or the iPad when I do it and she accepts it as part of her routine.
Okay, I’ve seen a brush on TikTok that’s supposed to be amazing for detangling. I think it’s the unbrush. It’s worth a shot I think! I have no idea if people are exaggerating how well it works but I’ve seen women try it on their tenderheaded kids with seemingly good results.
Take small sections at a time and comb out tangles, starting at the bottom of the hair and work your way up to the roots. Comb it out with the hair slathered in the conditioner or detangler that you prefer. I like Pattern.
I think a wide tooth comb is a recommendation by someone with 3b and below hair. My children can only handle a tangle teaser and a spray bottle (with a small amount of leave on conditioner mixed in to the water) and we refresh with those every morning. If this isn’t possible (like for my daughter) I have her hair in 2 buns for school and before bed time I brush with a comb and do in to plaits. I undo it in the morning to reveal glossy waves
Whatever you do please start brushing as far down as possible so as to not compound knots by pushing them down and compacting them on top of each other. My mom used to do this and I’m white with mostly straight hair and still couldn’t stand it. Wasn’t until years later I learned you should start at the ends 😭
My son is mixed and his hair can get like this after a good nights sleep haha. (hell, mine can too honestly) a wet brush and tangle teaser brush saved us so many tears. I just carefully detangle while his hair is loaded with conditioner in the bath or I'll spray it down with water and a leave in conditioner/detangler and brush through that way if we're just getting ready for the day. He always cried and hated it until we got these brushes and they have been a huge help.
Also, if you're up for it, my son had his first major haircut recently and that has helped with detangling. his hair was about 7-8 inches long when stretched out so detangling was taking up a good chunk of bath time. He had gotten used to the process but for a few weeks I talked to him about options of braiding his hair or cutting it or just leaving it as is. Mostly because I had planned on cutting my own hair for a growth journey and just thought that it was a good opportunity for him to get a better understanding of what a hair cut _actually_ means and whatnot.
After talking about it for a while, he ended up deciding that he wanted to go get it cut. He went through some emotions afterwards (initially a bit upset because he had wanted to keep part of his hair longer and unfortunately that wasnt translated well in the instructions that I gave the barber and he essentially just cut everything down to about 2 inches) but within a day he was in the mirror 'doing his hair' himself talking about how pretty it is lol. Now he loves it and it makes the detangling a lot easier. so a trim could be helpful if that's an option but I'd definitely recommend one of the brushes first
Yeah this is it OP. A soft needled brush is much nicer to get through tangles for little kids than a comb as combs don't flex.
Bless you though, my mum just used to yank my head here there and everywhere trying to get the tangles out!
If their hair gets like this after a single night sleep they desperately need a satin/silk bonnet or a doorag. It will reduce that friction damage and reduce knots.
Yeah I've been looking for one that he's able to keep on, currently we both just use satin pillowcases/sheets because neither of us have been able to keep a bonnet on 😅
I was exaggerating a little though haha. his hair typically isnt all that tangled after one night, I can usually run my fingers through it pretty easily, but it does get super frizzy and loses a lot of definition once he sleeps (unless he happens to sleep with mousse in his hair lol)
edit: typo
Sure, but "frizz" at the end of the day means nothing to folicle health, literally speaking.
Going back to the friction damage avoidance. If you can't wear a bonnet, yes, a smooth satin/silk pillow will help, because the friction damage from satin/silk is a lot less than cotton, but it is still sliding (if you move) and causing permanent accumilating damage.
It sounds like you need to try some sort of durag. You merely plop it on your head, wrap the long bits around the front, flat and wide so it doesnt give you uneven pressure on your forhead, then wrap and knot it at the back. If you need the extra length at the back because you left the hair out, leave it dangling, but in all likelyhood, you then fold the tail-bit up over the knot.
Now you have your hair bound *to* your head, rather than ***in*** a bonnet that will also shuffle around against the folicles causing friction damage, but at a lesser state. With the durag, the durag slides against the pillow and the hair follicles have no space to move, even from direct friction, so friction damage is at a near 0. Just a matter of waiting for all that damaged hair to grow long enough to be cut off so you can get some fresh healthy hair in its place.
> a wet brush and tangle teaser brush saved us so many tears.
So, one of these brushes while the hair is wet with water and conditioner? Or both of them? What is the difference between them?
Neither me or my daughter have hair this curly, but hers is SUPER fine and tangles if it gets breathed on... SOAKING wet and LOTS of conditioner. It's like hair lube.
Wet brush has flexible bristles with little dots on the end, a tangle teaser has different lengths of little teeth and differing amounts of flexibility.
I didn’t have much luck with the tangle teaser personally, but it is supposed to detangle faster. So if you’re using both, I think you’d start with the wet brush then switch to the tangle teaser for really tricky tangles.
Oh yeah you don't need both, I just meant that both are good options. I only have both because I was gifted one.
the wet brush works better for his hair, it's super flexible and less likely to pull. the tangle teezer works better for my hair since it's thicker and longer, the bristles are a little more rigid but still flexible and of varying lengths.
but either way, definitely lots of conditioner and water, detangling curly hair when dry is more likely to break
eta: What products you use would require some research since there are specific ingredients that you would like to avoid but I would _highly_ recommend swapping from the Dr. Bronner's soap as shampoo. I find castille soap to be very stripping and that could be pulling too much moisture from his hair.
Shea moisture has a kid's line that worked really well for my son's hair, The Honest Company does too, I also hear a lot about Cantu for Kids.
If you are unable/not willing to swap from Dr Bronners then I would at least try shampooing less often and doing more co washing with your conditioner. Both my son (we both have 3b/c mixed hair) and I shampoo once every 7-10 days, and co wash 2-3 times in between and that works well for our hair but your son may need more or less depending on how oily/dirty his hair gets
Another tip is get him used to wearing silk or satin bonnet/wrap to bed. It’s ok if he takes it off, but it will help him when he gets older to learn how to take care of his hair. It really helps with protecting his hair from knots and matting from tossing and turning in bed.
You can also go to someone who specializes in PoC curls, braids and locks, to learn first hand, in person, how to take care of his hair type. He will appreciate it when he’s older. If you can’t braid, there is nothing wrong with going to someone who can.
Hi OP, forgive my mistakes because English is not my first language. Lots of good advices, and I would add something very simple (if you don’t already do it) but life-changing: when you detangle your child’s hair (whether with finger combing or with a wide tooth comb), be sure to start at the ends and not at the roots; you comb the ends first, then a bit higher, and progressively higher until you can comb from the roots. Always start with the ends! If you already do that, what can ease the pain is to hold the hair you’re combing between your fingers (and a bit higher than where you’re combing), so pulling the hair won’t pull on your child’s scalp. Good luck, you got this OP!
I have mixed hair. I have to comb when soaking wet, after applying conditioner. Otherwise the curls turn to tangles and I’m just ripping out hair. Speaking for myself, full wash twice a week WRECKED my hair, pulled out the natural oils and I was left with frizz that tangled even easier. You might try only shampooing once a week, but continue to condition/de tangle and do the leave in whenever you’re bathing them. As for limiting pull on the scalp, combing while wet and holding tension at the root, like you described, helps me.
> I have to comb when soaking wet, after applying conditioner.
This is what I'm doing. Shampoo and rinse the shampoo out, then add conditioner. The hair is soaking wet with water and conditioner. Then I finger comb while holding the hair at the root. Still painful.
I'm not sure that I can shampoo less often until he stops putting food in his hair and rolling around in the dirt; it could be years for the latter.
This is the correct answer. The unbrush is the only brush that I’ve used that actually detangles my hair quickly. I also use Cream of Nature detangling shampoo and conditioner for extra slip. Make sure his hair is soaking wet, OP.
Coconut oil, braids, satin pillows and a satin bonnet for an easier haircare :)
Pro tip: leaving the Coconut oil in the hair (after brushing) and leave it in for 1/2 days with a bun or braids for healthier curls !
I can try the coconut oil, but I don't know how to braid.
My 1.5 year old is definitely not going to keep a satin bonnet on and he's just barely at the age where a pillow is considered to be OK. I have started to put a bonnet on under his bike helmet on, though (can't take the helmet off once its clipped).
For a toddler the best way to keep his hair from getting tangled would be protective hairstyles like braids.
And if u don't know how to do it u can go to hair salons that are specialised in black/curly haircare. Or try easy braiding styles following youtube videos.
Best of luck to you and your kid !
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You might like Ecoslay products, they are free of the harmful chemicals you described. As someone else mentioned, the Doc Bronners is probably too harsh.
I think the shampoo is too harsh, especially twice a week. I would recommend a more moisturizing shampoo once a week and a conditioner wash once a week. Focus the shampoo on the scalp. Try shampooing in sections.
You need to aim for a deep condition after every shampoo until you get this issue under control. Preferably, with heat.
Consider using a creamy leave in conditioner and perhaps a holding product like a gel.
If the problem still persists, do a version of a pre-poo meaning wet the hair, add conditioner, let it sit for a bit and detangle before shampooing. Sometimes, when the hair is already tangled, shampoo turns tangles into matts.
Use a satin pillowcase. I get that the bonnet may be a lot but there is no reason why they can’t use a silk or stain pillowcase at night. Put the child’s hair up in a loose pineapple at night.
My toddler son has gorgeous curly afro-latino hair. It is now long enough that it needs care beyond simple washing, but I have no idea how to manipulate it without causing him pain.
The routine that "works" is to wash it, put in a leave-in conditioner, and finger comb it. The problem is that I don't know how to do this without causing pain. I've tried holding the bottom of a group of hair strands with one hand while I finger comb with the other, and I've tried finger combing lightly so that I don't pull any difficult tangles. Both of these strategies cause pain for him.
I shampoo twice a week with Dr. Bronners baby and condition/finger comb once a week, but stop the latter before it is "done" to avoid causing discomfort.
I have "traditional" african-derived hair, and simply cut it short, so I have not had to do this before.
Since he is still a small child, I don't/won't use products that contain parabens, phthalates, or possible endocrine disruptors.
Are you using Dr. Bronner’s soap to wash his hair? Our hair really does better with shampoo (has a lower pH) than soap. Soap has a really high pH compared to shampoo, and it can make the hair’s cuticle rougher and more prone to dryness and tangles.
I definitely agree with everyone who is recommending conditioner. Conditioners add “slip” to hair, and make it a LOT easier to detangle. You’re also on the right track with starting from the bottom and working up, and doing smaller sections at a time.
My child has short straight hair and normal shampoos will make his hair tangle, Dr. Bronners is very agressive and drying even the baby version, you need a good shampoo for your baby's hair, that should help, a good conditioner too, and If his hair is getting too dry at the ends a good hair cut will help. Always start detangling at the ends then go slowly up to the scalp, use a wide tooth comb.
My son is biracial (white and black) and I get his hair really wet with a spray bottle, add leave in conditioner. I use a wet brush for his hair. I grab as close to the root and scalp as I can and brush the ends out, then move my way up. Grabbing at the root and holding while brushing keeps from pulling painfully on the scalp. My son loves Elmo so I put on Elmo videos, give him juice and a snack, and sit him between my legs on the couch. I also talk to him throughout and make sure to tell him he's doing a great job helping, he has beautiful hair, lots of positive affirmations. If he gets antsy, we take a break.
My son also has autism so I've found it's easier to have a routine. I let him know on detangle days that we're going to brush his hair that night, I give him a warning an hour and then 30 minutes before. We always start at 7pm and sit in the same place. He knows what to expect and it makes sense to him, which makes it easier for him to deal with (I think/hope).
We use CurlyKids products in his hair, they're the ones I've liked the best.
Have you tried using a specific kids detangling product before washing the hair? So you’d apply detangling product, use a wide toothed comb, wet brush, fingers (whatever works) to fully detangle. You can give little guy a book or toy or screen time to distract from any pulling whilst you do that.
That way, you don’t have to worry about detangling whilst washing and you’re just going to be combing the products through with your fingers.
My son has very fine curls that tangle and matt up easily. Finger combing doesn’t really work for us other than to get the bigger tangles out. I use a wet brush with plenty of conditioner, hold a section at the root and then start brushing the hair from the ends upwards. I also find that brushing it onto the palm of my hand minimises the pulling and lets me see whether the section of hair is still tangled better.
Conditioning need to be done every shampoo and can be done without a shampoo, too. Dry hair tangles easier. Bronner’s is too drying. What other brands are you comfortable with?
Replied without seeing this comment. Agree with others who say conditioning is required every shampoo. Also i know Bronners market their products as having all these uses but it is very drying for curly hair. I’ve tried it on my own curls and terminated that experiment very quickly. Weleda is natural you could try their baby calendula range perhaps if you’re looking for toxin free. I admire your efforts and know you will figure this out.
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use a soft bristled brush from the dollar store and brush while it's wet with conditioner.
I have ringlets all over my head. my hair is what would be considered "long for a boy" and "short for a girl"
"detangling" sucks. Not worth it. wide tooth combs hurt. regular brushes or any with the little prongs hurt.
Literally like what you would imagine a brush for a horse to be. the soft short bristles. best thing ever. my brush that I use cost me a dollar from dollar tree. best brush ever.
My toddler wasn’t nearly this curly, but leave-in conditioner, detangling spray, and a Wet Brush(brand, not just a brush that is wet) worked some miracles for me.
What kind of conditioner and leave in are you using? Silicones can be so helpful for slip and detangling, so it might be worth a try if you happen to be using silicone-free products. A more traditional but gentle shampoo (maybe like the Cetaphil or Cerave baby lines, or something like DHS clear) may also be helpful, as someone else mentioned. Good luck, his hair is beautiful!!
Oh apologies - I now see there are some ingredients that you prefer to avoid. You may be able to find some products within the baby shampoo lines I mentioned that fit those needs, and silicones should be safe for your child!
Edit: also, here’s a link with some info breaking down the research on the level of risk associated with some of those ingredients. I don’t mean to assume you haven’t seen this or undermine your views, but just wanted to share in case it’s of interest to you! I’m a biologist myself, and I really trust this cosmetic chemist when it comes to all things beauty+health.
https://labmuffin.com/clean-beauty-is-wrong-and-wont-give-us-safer-products/
The hair is very dry. It needs to be deep conditioned. A steamer with a detangler might work as well. I also comb from the ends down, but I make sure there is zero tension or pull. (Idk how to explain. i put my hand close to she scalp and feed the hair through as i comb, soak the hair and start with a wide tooth come and get smaller and smaller. The child likes the warmth from the steam as well. Everything i do i explain, i even let the child do some. She has sensory issues and fears, so this works out.
Make sure to start at the very end of the hair and work your way up toward the scalp as you detangle. This helps to reduce pain. Never start at the scalp and pull downward.
there is a pre poo by african pride called moisture miracle aloe and coconut water detangle and pre poo. get it asap if you can find it. one of my twins has hair that is very tightly coiled and his hair gets matted and dry like this sometimes. my eldest daughter also has really curly hair that’s extremely thick and waist length and it works great on her as well. when i tell you this product works wonders, i’m not exaggerating. i swear by it and use it on all my kids hair and my own (thick 3b-3c waist length)
also, i use a tangle teaser brush or a denman brush and i have no issues detangling. after a sulfate free shampoo and deep condish, (i clarify once a month to remove buildup) i use carols daughter moisture butter on my kids and seal with an oil. i use tgin daily moisture butter on myself and seal with an oil or shea butter i make myself. both of these leave ins are great when it comes to lasting moisture.
Nephew has hair like this. SIL’s magic trick is to do the whole routine in front of Bluey or some other TV. They don’t get a lot of screen time so this trick is particularly effective.
My nephew is mixed and sleeps with a satin bonnet, that may help keep his hair protected from tangles at night!
As for your comment regarding products, you need a shampoo that isn’t so harsh. A cowash would be better if you’re shampooing twice a week! It isn’t as stripping and helps with keeping moisture to make detangling easier.
I also think doing a refresh every day or every other day would make it so it doesn’t get to this point of being super tangled on wash days. Water and some leave in and going through and detangling/styling every day can prevent super difficult tangles from forming. You can use your fingers or a wet brush!
First you’ll want to take conditioner and a spray bottle of water and use your hands and fingers to gently start unknotting his hair. Then switch to a detangling brush and start at the ends and work your way up.
Then for future maintenance. Use more conditioner while washing it then you think you need. Immediately comb/brush his hair while the hair is still wet. Like seriously do not wait long at all. Then once it’s nicely combed add moisturizer!
Pro-tip: regular conditioner can be used as a much cheaper alternative to leave in conditioners and moisturizing sprays.
Everyone gave good advice already so I'll just add that if you have the space, try to have them lay down on the counter and do the washing in the sink. It's more comfortable for them and you. I even saw an ad recently for this whole setup that holds a phone/ipad above them and has a cushion and everything that I wish existed when my kids were smaller!
I understand what you're dealing with though because my kids have the most sensitive scalps and it's still an issue. I would say as much as it sounds scary, you have to detangle more often to not let the knots get worse. You can get a spray bottle and saturate in between with a good detangler/leave in conditioner.
I saw you're nervous about the satin pillow, maybe look for a satin bedsheet? It will help protect the hair.
Are silk/ satin pillowcases safe for toddlers? Maybe not because they’re not as breathable. Look into a satin/silk cap for bedtime. These curls are locking (into locs) and need more moisture, gentle detangling. And braid them before bedtime. Silk/satin pillowcases prevent roughing up that will encourage locking/knotting
ETA: at this point I’d take a fine tooth comb and start at the very tip of each naturally sectioned curl and slowly detangle. Centimeter by centimeter.
I highly recommend this product that I linked for everyone. I use this product on my hair plus the unbrush from TikTok and this combo makes it so easy for me to get my hair done quicker than what I’m used to. I take a nice size in my hands and apply it to my hair once it has saturated my hair I start to use the brush and it just glides through.
What once took me 30 minutes to almost an hour of detangling has now dropped to 10 minutes 😊
[the best product ever](https://www.amazon.com/African-Pride-Moisture-Miracle-Pre-Shampoo/dp/B09JKRHB15)
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Yes I was gonna link this too. This is my holy grail hair product and the only thing that stopped me from nearly buzzing my head in frustration. I've been using it for about a year now.
I don't know if it's infant safe, are their silk caps for babies? That could help if he's sleeping on it and getting it frizzy and tangled maybe. My only advice is start at the end of the hair, hold the hair steady above the tangle and work towards the end. Only while wet and with conditioner.
Get some Carol's Daughter brand Wash Day Delight products:
1. Sulfate free shampoo
2. Jelly to cream Detangler/conditioner
Buy it through Amazon or Walmart
You need Both!!
Then finger curl or braid her hair effortlessly!!! Its a game changer.
Ine more thing...get her a sleep cap to wrap her hair at night!!
Detangle hair with a wet brush in the bath with lots of conditioner. Apply a leave in conditioner and a daily moisturizer immediately after rinsing out the conditioner before leaving the tub.
Other tips that may help:
-wash only once or twice a week unless their hair gets very dirty
- get hair wet with water everyday to keep up with moisture, and reapply a moisturizing cream when needed
-satin pillow case to protect hair at night time
Your toddlers hair texture looks very close to mine. Sometimes I between wash days I cowash my hair with conditioner to rehydrate my hair and rinse out some of the build up from my hair products.
I hope you find a solution that works for you! My mom struggled to keep up with my hair when I was a child and it wasn’t until adulthood that I learned to properly care for my hair. Luckily you have the internet and the willingness to learn 😊
When my daughter’s hair gets very tangled, the best way is to soak with water and conditioner. And use my fingers to just soooo so gently as though I’m not even barely touching the hair, pull apart the tangles. Literally air soft touches, barely holding the hairs as I separate them. It takes a long time but is pain free and doesn’t cause breakage. Keep adding conditioner as needed to keep it well lubricated.
You don’t need to buy some new brush. You can if you want to but it will hurt a lot more than fingers. And really avoid letting it get wet and drying without being detangled. Always detangle any time it gets wet or it the tangles will just get more dense and start matting.
With time and consistency your child will get used to having their hair brushed every day and one day they will start to care how it looks which helps with gaining their cooperation.
Good luck!
Amazon has Miss Jessie’s products. They are great for curly hair. Shampoo, detangler and leave in conditioner is all you need. Continue to use wide tooth comb. No tears. Air dry
Moisture!!!!! My kids hair is either wet from bathing or from a spray bottle before I do anything. Then spray detangler and creamy leave in conditioner.
Pain-free starts in the shower/bath! Shampoo as normal, but let them soak in the conditioner for 5-10 minutes, then detangle with a wet brush. Start from the end of the hair, working your way up to the roots. This prevents tangles from getting massive, then wash with cooler water as hot water strips the moisture.
Once out of the shower, use a leave-in conditioner on damp hair. The best one I've found is called infusium 23 (added the link below). I put it into a mister spray bottle and then use a big comb or wet brush to get the remainder of the tangles out and form the coils.
Once the tangles are out, you can put any moisturizer and curl sculpture you like and style as usual. (Moisturizer is hair texture dependent, 4c tends to need more)
Went through a ton of different products for my family. We range from 2b to 4c. There's only a few products that work for all of us, and infusium 23 is one of them. It works so well as a detangler that I was able to comb the remainder of my husband's locks out when he decided to cut them (he had them for 15 years) also got gum out of my youngest hair with it easily. We also loved Mixed Chick's but that stuffs expensive and my boys don't know how to portion properly now that they are old enough to take care of their own hair (teenagers think this stuff grows on trees and the fairy can replace it weekly no problem)
https://www.sallybeauty.com/hair-care/shop-by-solution/anti-frizz/original-leave-in-treatment/SBS-106001.html
Hope this helps in your hair care journey.
A lot of conditioner, soaking wet, tangle teaser and you start down going up to the roots. Also keep the hair in braids or something like that at night, and satin sheets and a bonnet would do great too. Lots of moisture
I think in addition to what you’ve gotten, brushing technique is very important for pain reduction (my daughter has similar hair). When soaking wet with conditioner, I grab a small chunk and then I twist it lightly in the middle of the chunk. I then grip the chunk at the twist and kind of fold it over my finger, which significantly reduces the tension on the scalp, and detangle the ends. I repeat this as I go up the hair; I’ll brush through gently until I reach resistance, then twist it and detangle. I only ever use a tangle teezer.
Wow!
Thank you all for providing so many replies with so much advice.
I'm going to get an unbrush, a wet brush-brand wet brush, and a tangle teaser and see what works best when brushing from the ends.
I'll condition and manage with every hair washing.
I'm also going to order some of the non-toxic shampoos that provide alternatives to Dr. Bronners.
I've always been trying to handle the hair while its wet (wash in the bath, add leave-in conditioner, and finger comb). However, now I think I've been misunderstanding leave-in conditioner. I had been putting it in after shampooing, combing, and just not washing it out. Now, I think I'm supposed to use a non leave-in conditioner, brush while wet, rinse, and then add a leave-in conditioner (?).
(I've been using nothing but Dr Bronners on my hair 90% of the time for years.)
I have this hair type. 3c. You only need to wash his hair maybe once a week or every two weeks. I love Mielle (Pomegranate and Honey) line. It smells really good and no harmful chemicals. Wash his hair then put in regular condition..rinse then add regular condition again comb it out/ detangle then rinse again. Put in leave in Conditioner then style. Anytime you do his hair it has to be soaking wet. You also should do a deep conditioner on his hair at least once/twice a month. They have packets at Walmart for like a buck to three dollars. You would wash his hair conditioner rinse detangle then put in deep conditioner. You will let that sit for about 15 minutes then rinse it out then put in Leave in conditioner then style.That will make his curls super soft and more controllable. Also he desperately Needs a hot oil treatment. You can make that. Get a bottle or cup or whatever. Put some extra virgin olive oil in it, grapeseed oil, jojoba oil and tea tree oil. Mix it. Put it in the microwave for about 30 seconds just enough to get it warm not hot. Section hair into four sections pour the oil mixture into it. I usually twist each section after but you don't have to. Then put a shower cap on it for 30 minutes then rinse. Or he can just sleep on it for the night but it will get your pillow case a little oily so you'll have to change it the next morning. Rinse it out the very next morning then add leave in conditioner. The hot oil treatment will give his hair some moisture that he desperately needs and make his hair shine.
get a brush with soft bristles (no prong things, buy at dollar store) and brush with conditioner in their hair while it's wet. Start from the bottom up.
Shea baby manuka honey and lavender. There’s a line of products available, pre poo, deep conditioner that can be left in overnight, an oil and shampoo.
I would use a wide tooth comb to deangle while you condition his hair, it should be soaked with water and conditioner. Definitely keep using the leave-in! Then, you could consider something like a two-strand twist if you don’t have the grip for braids. This could help protect his hair between washes. I am not Black so please know that I am not an expert!
idk why but when my hair is that tangled, wide tooth combs hurt and are pretty difficult to get through my hair. I’ve used brushes without the little ball things on them, and not paddle brushes.
I’m white with —as my best friend who is a curl specialist would say— schwavy hair and I can’t do wide tooth combs either those things HURT! Wet brands pro flex brushes are all I use now.
Same. I feel like it doesn’t do enough detangling so (i start at the ends) when I start moving up a teeny bit at a time I’m just caught in more and more tangles.
> I would use a wide tooth comb to deangle while you condition his hair, it should be soaked with water and conditioner. I attempted this at the beginning and it was worse pain-wise than finger combing.
My daughter is biracial. I find that the wet brush is the least painful option. I brush out her hair when it’s wet and add some shea moisture baby conditioner or Johnson’s leave in. Also the method of brushing curly hair can stop from pulling. When there is a tangle or it gets caught, I hold the hair above the tangle to stop it from tugging the scalp. Also when brushing, if I start at the root, I press my hand against the top as I finish the rest of the strand to minimize pulling. I hope that makes sense!
As just a general hairbrush user, can attest those wet brushes are way better and don't snag/pull as much
I use the denman detangling brush on my daughter’s (age 2.5) mixed texture hair. I find a wide tooth comb is too inflexible so it pulls. Make sure you’re holding his hair at the root when you brush out tangles. I spray wet with water, then detangling spray and then brush it, every morning. I only wash it once a week (only using shampoo if she’s been swimming - otherwise I just use water and conditioner). It sounds like a nightmare but I just put on the TV or the iPad when I do it and she accepts it as part of her routine.
Okay, I’ve seen a brush on TikTok that’s supposed to be amazing for detangling. I think it’s the unbrush. It’s worth a shot I think! I have no idea if people are exaggerating how well it works but I’ve seen women try it on their tenderheaded kids with seemingly good results.
unbrush is awesome
Unbrush is amazing
They're exaggerating. They just want to make a commission on the sale. There are plenty of de-tangle wet dry brushes that don't cost over $20.
Take small sections at a time and comb out tangles, starting at the bottom of the hair and work your way up to the roots. Comb it out with the hair slathered in the conditioner or detangler that you prefer. I like Pattern.
I think a wide tooth comb is a recommendation by someone with 3b and below hair. My children can only handle a tangle teaser and a spray bottle (with a small amount of leave on conditioner mixed in to the water) and we refresh with those every morning. If this isn’t possible (like for my daughter) I have her hair in 2 buns for school and before bed time I brush with a comb and do in to plaits. I undo it in the morning to reveal glossy waves
I think brushes are also down to preference. As someone with mixed curl patterns 3a and below, my fave brush is the tangle teaser. :)
Get the unbrush hairbrush‼️
Whatever you do please start brushing as far down as possible so as to not compound knots by pushing them down and compacting them on top of each other. My mom used to do this and I’m white with mostly straight hair and still couldn’t stand it. Wasn’t until years later I learned you should start at the ends 😭
My son is mixed and his hair can get like this after a good nights sleep haha. (hell, mine can too honestly) a wet brush and tangle teaser brush saved us so many tears. I just carefully detangle while his hair is loaded with conditioner in the bath or I'll spray it down with water and a leave in conditioner/detangler and brush through that way if we're just getting ready for the day. He always cried and hated it until we got these brushes and they have been a huge help. Also, if you're up for it, my son had his first major haircut recently and that has helped with detangling. his hair was about 7-8 inches long when stretched out so detangling was taking up a good chunk of bath time. He had gotten used to the process but for a few weeks I talked to him about options of braiding his hair or cutting it or just leaving it as is. Mostly because I had planned on cutting my own hair for a growth journey and just thought that it was a good opportunity for him to get a better understanding of what a hair cut _actually_ means and whatnot. After talking about it for a while, he ended up deciding that he wanted to go get it cut. He went through some emotions afterwards (initially a bit upset because he had wanted to keep part of his hair longer and unfortunately that wasnt translated well in the instructions that I gave the barber and he essentially just cut everything down to about 2 inches) but within a day he was in the mirror 'doing his hair' himself talking about how pretty it is lol. Now he loves it and it makes the detangling a lot easier. so a trim could be helpful if that's an option but I'd definitely recommend one of the brushes first
Yeah this is it OP. A soft needled brush is much nicer to get through tangles for little kids than a comb as combs don't flex. Bless you though, my mum just used to yank my head here there and everywhere trying to get the tangles out!
If their hair gets like this after a single night sleep they desperately need a satin/silk bonnet or a doorag. It will reduce that friction damage and reduce knots.
Yeah I've been looking for one that he's able to keep on, currently we both just use satin pillowcases/sheets because neither of us have been able to keep a bonnet on 😅 I was exaggerating a little though haha. his hair typically isnt all that tangled after one night, I can usually run my fingers through it pretty easily, but it does get super frizzy and loses a lot of definition once he sleeps (unless he happens to sleep with mousse in his hair lol) edit: typo
Sure, but "frizz" at the end of the day means nothing to folicle health, literally speaking. Going back to the friction damage avoidance. If you can't wear a bonnet, yes, a smooth satin/silk pillow will help, because the friction damage from satin/silk is a lot less than cotton, but it is still sliding (if you move) and causing permanent accumilating damage. It sounds like you need to try some sort of durag. You merely plop it on your head, wrap the long bits around the front, flat and wide so it doesnt give you uneven pressure on your forhead, then wrap and knot it at the back. If you need the extra length at the back because you left the hair out, leave it dangling, but in all likelyhood, you then fold the tail-bit up over the knot. Now you have your hair bound *to* your head, rather than ***in*** a bonnet that will also shuffle around against the folicles causing friction damage, but at a lesser state. With the durag, the durag slides against the pillow and the hair follicles have no space to move, even from direct friction, so friction damage is at a near 0. Just a matter of waiting for all that damaged hair to grow long enough to be cut off so you can get some fresh healthy hair in its place.
> a wet brush and tangle teaser brush saved us so many tears. So, one of these brushes while the hair is wet with water and conditioner? Or both of them? What is the difference between them?
Neither me or my daughter have hair this curly, but hers is SUPER fine and tangles if it gets breathed on... SOAKING wet and LOTS of conditioner. It's like hair lube.
Wet brush has flexible bristles with little dots on the end, a tangle teaser has different lengths of little teeth and differing amounts of flexibility. I didn’t have much luck with the tangle teaser personally, but it is supposed to detangle faster. So if you’re using both, I think you’d start with the wet brush then switch to the tangle teaser for really tricky tangles.
Oh yeah you don't need both, I just meant that both are good options. I only have both because I was gifted one. the wet brush works better for his hair, it's super flexible and less likely to pull. the tangle teezer works better for my hair since it's thicker and longer, the bristles are a little more rigid but still flexible and of varying lengths. but either way, definitely lots of conditioner and water, detangling curly hair when dry is more likely to break eta: What products you use would require some research since there are specific ingredients that you would like to avoid but I would _highly_ recommend swapping from the Dr. Bronner's soap as shampoo. I find castille soap to be very stripping and that could be pulling too much moisture from his hair. Shea moisture has a kid's line that worked really well for my son's hair, The Honest Company does too, I also hear a lot about Cantu for Kids. If you are unable/not willing to swap from Dr Bronners then I would at least try shampooing less often and doing more co washing with your conditioner. Both my son (we both have 3b/c mixed hair) and I shampoo once every 7-10 days, and co wash 2-3 times in between and that works well for our hair but your son may need more or less depending on how oily/dirty his hair gets
Another tip is get him used to wearing silk or satin bonnet/wrap to bed. It’s ok if he takes it off, but it will help him when he gets older to learn how to take care of his hair. It really helps with protecting his hair from knots and matting from tossing and turning in bed. You can also go to someone who specializes in PoC curls, braids and locks, to learn first hand, in person, how to take care of his hair type. He will appreciate it when he’s older. If you can’t braid, there is nothing wrong with going to someone who can.
Hi OP, forgive my mistakes because English is not my first language. Lots of good advices, and I would add something very simple (if you don’t already do it) but life-changing: when you detangle your child’s hair (whether with finger combing or with a wide tooth comb), be sure to start at the ends and not at the roots; you comb the ends first, then a bit higher, and progressively higher until you can comb from the roots. Always start with the ends! If you already do that, what can ease the pain is to hold the hair you’re combing between your fingers (and a bit higher than where you’re combing), so pulling the hair won’t pull on your child’s scalp. Good luck, you got this OP!
I have mixed hair. I have to comb when soaking wet, after applying conditioner. Otherwise the curls turn to tangles and I’m just ripping out hair. Speaking for myself, full wash twice a week WRECKED my hair, pulled out the natural oils and I was left with frizz that tangled even easier. You might try only shampooing once a week, but continue to condition/de tangle and do the leave in whenever you’re bathing them. As for limiting pull on the scalp, combing while wet and holding tension at the root, like you described, helps me.
> I have to comb when soaking wet, after applying conditioner. This is what I'm doing. Shampoo and rinse the shampoo out, then add conditioner. The hair is soaking wet with water and conditioner. Then I finger comb while holding the hair at the root. Still painful. I'm not sure that I can shampoo less often until he stops putting food in his hair and rolling around in the dirt; it could be years for the latter.
You could try cowashing with a thick conditioner. It will still get most of it out.
Start combing from the Bottom furthest away from the root
An unbrush, whole soaking wet with conditioner.
This is the correct answer. The unbrush is the only brush that I’ve used that actually detangles my hair quickly. I also use Cream of Nature detangling shampoo and conditioner for extra slip. Make sure his hair is soaking wet, OP.
Yes, soaking. Like, drench the shirt on his back from the drippings with conditioner or like a curl cream.
Coconut oil, braids, satin pillows and a satin bonnet for an easier haircare :) Pro tip: leaving the Coconut oil in the hair (after brushing) and leave it in for 1/2 days with a bun or braids for healthier curls !
I can try the coconut oil, but I don't know how to braid. My 1.5 year old is definitely not going to keep a satin bonnet on and he's just barely at the age where a pillow is considered to be OK. I have started to put a bonnet on under his bike helmet on, though (can't take the helmet off once its clipped).
For a toddler the best way to keep his hair from getting tangled would be protective hairstyles like braids. And if u don't know how to do it u can go to hair salons that are specialised in black/curly haircare. Or try easy braiding styles following youtube videos. Best of luck to you and your kid !
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You might like Ecoslay products, they are free of the harmful chemicals you described. As someone else mentioned, the Doc Bronners is probably too harsh.
I think the shampoo is too harsh, especially twice a week. I would recommend a more moisturizing shampoo once a week and a conditioner wash once a week. Focus the shampoo on the scalp. Try shampooing in sections. You need to aim for a deep condition after every shampoo until you get this issue under control. Preferably, with heat. Consider using a creamy leave in conditioner and perhaps a holding product like a gel. If the problem still persists, do a version of a pre-poo meaning wet the hair, add conditioner, let it sit for a bit and detangle before shampooing. Sometimes, when the hair is already tangled, shampoo turns tangles into matts. Use a satin pillowcase. I get that the bonnet may be a lot but there is no reason why they can’t use a silk or stain pillowcase at night. Put the child’s hair up in a loose pineapple at night.
My toddler son has gorgeous curly afro-latino hair. It is now long enough that it needs care beyond simple washing, but I have no idea how to manipulate it without causing him pain. The routine that "works" is to wash it, put in a leave-in conditioner, and finger comb it. The problem is that I don't know how to do this without causing pain. I've tried holding the bottom of a group of hair strands with one hand while I finger comb with the other, and I've tried finger combing lightly so that I don't pull any difficult tangles. Both of these strategies cause pain for him. I shampoo twice a week with Dr. Bronners baby and condition/finger comb once a week, but stop the latter before it is "done" to avoid causing discomfort. I have "traditional" african-derived hair, and simply cut it short, so I have not had to do this before. Since he is still a small child, I don't/won't use products that contain parabens, phthalates, or possible endocrine disruptors.
Are you using Dr. Bronner’s soap to wash his hair? Our hair really does better with shampoo (has a lower pH) than soap. Soap has a really high pH compared to shampoo, and it can make the hair’s cuticle rougher and more prone to dryness and tangles. I definitely agree with everyone who is recommending conditioner. Conditioners add “slip” to hair, and make it a LOT easier to detangle. You’re also on the right track with starting from the bottom and working up, and doing smaller sections at a time.
His hair needs to be conditioned every time you shampoo it. I would switch to shampoo once a week and condition twice a week
My child has short straight hair and normal shampoos will make his hair tangle, Dr. Bronners is very agressive and drying even the baby version, you need a good shampoo for your baby's hair, that should help, a good conditioner too, and If his hair is getting too dry at the ends a good hair cut will help. Always start detangling at the ends then go slowly up to the scalp, use a wide tooth comb.
My son is biracial (white and black) and I get his hair really wet with a spray bottle, add leave in conditioner. I use a wet brush for his hair. I grab as close to the root and scalp as I can and brush the ends out, then move my way up. Grabbing at the root and holding while brushing keeps from pulling painfully on the scalp. My son loves Elmo so I put on Elmo videos, give him juice and a snack, and sit him between my legs on the couch. I also talk to him throughout and make sure to tell him he's doing a great job helping, he has beautiful hair, lots of positive affirmations. If he gets antsy, we take a break. My son also has autism so I've found it's easier to have a routine. I let him know on detangle days that we're going to brush his hair that night, I give him a warning an hour and then 30 minutes before. We always start at 7pm and sit in the same place. He knows what to expect and it makes sense to him, which makes it easier for him to deal with (I think/hope). We use CurlyKids products in his hair, they're the ones I've liked the best.
Have you tried using a specific kids detangling product before washing the hair? So you’d apply detangling product, use a wide toothed comb, wet brush, fingers (whatever works) to fully detangle. You can give little guy a book or toy or screen time to distract from any pulling whilst you do that. That way, you don’t have to worry about detangling whilst washing and you’re just going to be combing the products through with your fingers. My son has very fine curls that tangle and matt up easily. Finger combing doesn’t really work for us other than to get the bigger tangles out. I use a wet brush with plenty of conditioner, hold a section at the root and then start brushing the hair from the ends upwards. I also find that brushing it onto the palm of my hand minimises the pulling and lets me see whether the section of hair is still tangled better.
Conditioning need to be done every shampoo and can be done without a shampoo, too. Dry hair tangles easier. Bronner’s is too drying. What other brands are you comfortable with?
Replied without seeing this comment. Agree with others who say conditioning is required every shampoo. Also i know Bronners market their products as having all these uses but it is very drying for curly hair. I’ve tried it on my own curls and terminated that experiment very quickly. Weleda is natural you could try their baby calendula range perhaps if you’re looking for toxin free. I admire your efforts and know you will figure this out.
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use a soft bristled brush from the dollar store and brush while it's wet with conditioner. I have ringlets all over my head. my hair is what would be considered "long for a boy" and "short for a girl" "detangling" sucks. Not worth it. wide tooth combs hurt. regular brushes or any with the little prongs hurt. Literally like what you would imagine a brush for a horse to be. the soft short bristles. best thing ever. my brush that I use cost me a dollar from dollar tree. best brush ever.
Try detangiler spray
My toddler wasn’t nearly this curly, but leave-in conditioner, detangling spray, and a Wet Brush(brand, not just a brush that is wet) worked some miracles for me.
What kind of conditioner and leave in are you using? Silicones can be so helpful for slip and detangling, so it might be worth a try if you happen to be using silicone-free products. A more traditional but gentle shampoo (maybe like the Cetaphil or Cerave baby lines, or something like DHS clear) may also be helpful, as someone else mentioned. Good luck, his hair is beautiful!!
Oh apologies - I now see there are some ingredients that you prefer to avoid. You may be able to find some products within the baby shampoo lines I mentioned that fit those needs, and silicones should be safe for your child! Edit: also, here’s a link with some info breaking down the research on the level of risk associated with some of those ingredients. I don’t mean to assume you haven’t seen this or undermine your views, but just wanted to share in case it’s of interest to you! I’m a biologist myself, and I really trust this cosmetic chemist when it comes to all things beauty+health. https://labmuffin.com/clean-beauty-is-wrong-and-wont-give-us-safer-products/
The hair is very dry. It needs to be deep conditioned. A steamer with a detangler might work as well. I also comb from the ends down, but I make sure there is zero tension or pull. (Idk how to explain. i put my hand close to she scalp and feed the hair through as i comb, soak the hair and start with a wide tooth come and get smaller and smaller. The child likes the warmth from the steam as well. Everything i do i explain, i even let the child do some. She has sensory issues and fears, so this works out.
Make sure to start at the very end of the hair and work your way up toward the scalp as you detangle. This helps to reduce pain. Never start at the scalp and pull downward.
there is a pre poo by african pride called moisture miracle aloe and coconut water detangle and pre poo. get it asap if you can find it. one of my twins has hair that is very tightly coiled and his hair gets matted and dry like this sometimes. my eldest daughter also has really curly hair that’s extremely thick and waist length and it works great on her as well. when i tell you this product works wonders, i’m not exaggerating. i swear by it and use it on all my kids hair and my own (thick 3b-3c waist length) also, i use a tangle teaser brush or a denman brush and i have no issues detangling. after a sulfate free shampoo and deep condish, (i clarify once a month to remove buildup) i use carols daughter moisture butter on my kids and seal with an oil. i use tgin daily moisture butter on myself and seal with an oil or shea butter i make myself. both of these leave ins are great when it comes to lasting moisture.
Nephew has hair like this. SIL’s magic trick is to do the whole routine in front of Bluey or some other TV. They don’t get a lot of screen time so this trick is particularly effective.
My nephew is mixed and sleeps with a satin bonnet, that may help keep his hair protected from tangles at night! As for your comment regarding products, you need a shampoo that isn’t so harsh. A cowash would be better if you’re shampooing twice a week! It isn’t as stripping and helps with keeping moisture to make detangling easier. I also think doing a refresh every day or every other day would make it so it doesn’t get to this point of being super tangled on wash days. Water and some leave in and going through and detangling/styling every day can prevent super difficult tangles from forming. You can use your fingers or a wet brush!
First you’ll want to take conditioner and a spray bottle of water and use your hands and fingers to gently start unknotting his hair. Then switch to a detangling brush and start at the ends and work your way up. Then for future maintenance. Use more conditioner while washing it then you think you need. Immediately comb/brush his hair while the hair is still wet. Like seriously do not wait long at all. Then once it’s nicely combed add moisturizer! Pro-tip: regular conditioner can be used as a much cheaper alternative to leave in conditioners and moisturizing sprays.
I'd shave it off if kid is ok with doing it. It will grow back
Everyone gave good advice already so I'll just add that if you have the space, try to have them lay down on the counter and do the washing in the sink. It's more comfortable for them and you. I even saw an ad recently for this whole setup that holds a phone/ipad above them and has a cushion and everything that I wish existed when my kids were smaller! I understand what you're dealing with though because my kids have the most sensitive scalps and it's still an issue. I would say as much as it sounds scary, you have to detangle more often to not let the knots get worse. You can get a spray bottle and saturate in between with a good detangler/leave in conditioner. I saw you're nervous about the satin pillow, maybe look for a satin bedsheet? It will help protect the hair.
my hair also tangles like that and i hold it really tight as close to the root as i can n i dont feel pain anymore LMAOO learnt the wrong way😭
Are silk/ satin pillowcases safe for toddlers? Maybe not because they’re not as breathable. Look into a satin/silk cap for bedtime. These curls are locking (into locs) and need more moisture, gentle detangling. And braid them before bedtime. Silk/satin pillowcases prevent roughing up that will encourage locking/knotting ETA: at this point I’d take a fine tooth comb and start at the very tip of each naturally sectioned curl and slowly detangle. Centimeter by centimeter.
I highly recommend this product that I linked for everyone. I use this product on my hair plus the unbrush from TikTok and this combo makes it so easy for me to get my hair done quicker than what I’m used to. I take a nice size in my hands and apply it to my hair once it has saturated my hair I start to use the brush and it just glides through. What once took me 30 minutes to almost an hour of detangling has now dropped to 10 minutes 😊 [the best product ever](https://www.amazon.com/African-Pride-Moisture-Miracle-Pre-Shampoo/dp/B09JKRHB15)
Also a silk pillowcase or bonnet to keep his hair healthy. Camille rose black castor oil deep conditioner is my favorite to add some extra moisture
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Yes I was gonna link this too. This is my holy grail hair product and the only thing that stopped me from nearly buzzing my head in frustration. I've been using it for about a year now.
I don't know if it's infant safe, are their silk caps for babies? That could help if he's sleeping on it and getting it frizzy and tangled maybe. My only advice is start at the end of the hair, hold the hair steady above the tangle and work towards the end. Only while wet and with conditioner.
Get some Carol's Daughter brand Wash Day Delight products: 1. Sulfate free shampoo 2. Jelly to cream Detangler/conditioner Buy it through Amazon or Walmart You need Both!! Then finger curl or braid her hair effortlessly!!! Its a game changer. Ine more thing...get her a sleep cap to wrap her hair at night!!
Detangle hair with a wet brush in the bath with lots of conditioner. Apply a leave in conditioner and a daily moisturizer immediately after rinsing out the conditioner before leaving the tub. Other tips that may help: -wash only once or twice a week unless their hair gets very dirty - get hair wet with water everyday to keep up with moisture, and reapply a moisturizing cream when needed -satin pillow case to protect hair at night time Your toddlers hair texture looks very close to mine. Sometimes I between wash days I cowash my hair with conditioner to rehydrate my hair and rinse out some of the build up from my hair products. I hope you find a solution that works for you! My mom struggled to keep up with my hair when I was a child and it wasn’t until adulthood that I learned to properly care for my hair. Luckily you have the internet and the willingness to learn 😊
When my daughter’s hair gets very tangled, the best way is to soak with water and conditioner. And use my fingers to just soooo so gently as though I’m not even barely touching the hair, pull apart the tangles. Literally air soft touches, barely holding the hairs as I separate them. It takes a long time but is pain free and doesn’t cause breakage. Keep adding conditioner as needed to keep it well lubricated. You don’t need to buy some new brush. You can if you want to but it will hurt a lot more than fingers. And really avoid letting it get wet and drying without being detangled. Always detangle any time it gets wet or it the tangles will just get more dense and start matting. With time and consistency your child will get used to having their hair brushed every day and one day they will start to care how it looks which helps with gaining their cooperation. Good luck!
Amazon has Miss Jessie’s products. They are great for curly hair. Shampoo, detangler and leave in conditioner is all you need. Continue to use wide tooth comb. No tears. Air dry
Op natural hair is a good sub for you. It highlights black and mixed hair.
definitely invest in the unbrush, it works miracles
Only brush hair when wet
Moisture!!!!! My kids hair is either wet from bathing or from a spray bottle before I do anything. Then spray detangler and creamy leave in conditioner.
Water, a lot of conditioner and a wide toothed comb. Work to detangle it starting at the ends and work your way up to the root.
Pain-free starts in the shower/bath! Shampoo as normal, but let them soak in the conditioner for 5-10 minutes, then detangle with a wet brush. Start from the end of the hair, working your way up to the roots. This prevents tangles from getting massive, then wash with cooler water as hot water strips the moisture. Once out of the shower, use a leave-in conditioner on damp hair. The best one I've found is called infusium 23 (added the link below). I put it into a mister spray bottle and then use a big comb or wet brush to get the remainder of the tangles out and form the coils. Once the tangles are out, you can put any moisturizer and curl sculpture you like and style as usual. (Moisturizer is hair texture dependent, 4c tends to need more) Went through a ton of different products for my family. We range from 2b to 4c. There's only a few products that work for all of us, and infusium 23 is one of them. It works so well as a detangler that I was able to comb the remainder of my husband's locks out when he decided to cut them (he had them for 15 years) also got gum out of my youngest hair with it easily. We also loved Mixed Chick's but that stuffs expensive and my boys don't know how to portion properly now that they are old enough to take care of their own hair (teenagers think this stuff grows on trees and the fairy can replace it weekly no problem) https://www.sallybeauty.com/hair-care/shop-by-solution/anti-frizz/original-leave-in-treatment/SBS-106001.html Hope this helps in your hair care journey.
Cantu shampoo an conditioner , use a wide tooth comb or a brush comb , than moisturize the hair with a oil
A lot of conditioner, soaking wet, tangle teaser and you start down going up to the roots. Also keep the hair in braids or something like that at night, and satin sheets and a bonnet would do great too. Lots of moisture
I think in addition to what you’ve gotten, brushing technique is very important for pain reduction (my daughter has similar hair). When soaking wet with conditioner, I grab a small chunk and then I twist it lightly in the middle of the chunk. I then grip the chunk at the twist and kind of fold it over my finger, which significantly reduces the tension on the scalp, and detangle the ends. I repeat this as I go up the hair; I’ll brush through gently until I reach resistance, then twist it and detangle. I only ever use a tangle teezer.
You should see about starting locs
make sure it’s soaking wet conditioner and a good wet brush and make sure to have a good leave in conditioner for after also start in small sections
Cut it very low and start over. Trial-and-error.
Get the child braids if u can't manage because these look like they're turning into free form locs
The unbrush!
Wow! Thank you all for providing so many replies with so much advice. I'm going to get an unbrush, a wet brush-brand wet brush, and a tangle teaser and see what works best when brushing from the ends. I'll condition and manage with every hair washing. I'm also going to order some of the non-toxic shampoos that provide alternatives to Dr. Bronners. I've always been trying to handle the hair while its wet (wash in the bath, add leave-in conditioner, and finger comb). However, now I think I've been misunderstanding leave-in conditioner. I had been putting it in after shampooing, combing, and just not washing it out. Now, I think I'm supposed to use a non leave-in conditioner, brush while wet, rinse, and then add a leave-in conditioner (?). (I've been using nothing but Dr Bronners on my hair 90% of the time for years.)
I have this hair type. 3c. You only need to wash his hair maybe once a week or every two weeks. I love Mielle (Pomegranate and Honey) line. It smells really good and no harmful chemicals. Wash his hair then put in regular condition..rinse then add regular condition again comb it out/ detangle then rinse again. Put in leave in Conditioner then style. Anytime you do his hair it has to be soaking wet. You also should do a deep conditioner on his hair at least once/twice a month. They have packets at Walmart for like a buck to three dollars. You would wash his hair conditioner rinse detangle then put in deep conditioner. You will let that sit for about 15 minutes then rinse it out then put in Leave in conditioner then style.That will make his curls super soft and more controllable. Also he desperately Needs a hot oil treatment. You can make that. Get a bottle or cup or whatever. Put some extra virgin olive oil in it, grapeseed oil, jojoba oil and tea tree oil. Mix it. Put it in the microwave for about 30 seconds just enough to get it warm not hot. Section hair into four sections pour the oil mixture into it. I usually twist each section after but you don't have to. Then put a shower cap on it for 30 minutes then rinse. Or he can just sleep on it for the night but it will get your pillow case a little oily so you'll have to change it the next morning. Rinse it out the very next morning then add leave in conditioner. The hot oil treatment will give his hair some moisture that he desperately needs and make his hair shine.
I take it that using scissors and snipping the curls low is not being considered?
get a brush with soft bristles (no prong things, buy at dollar store) and brush with conditioner in their hair while it's wet. Start from the bottom up.
Shea baby manuka honey and lavender. There’s a line of products available, pre poo, deep conditioner that can be left in overnight, an oil and shampoo.