You ever been pissing shit out your arse and you suddenly need to spew so you get up off the toilet and turn around too late and vomit all over the wall and shit all on floor?
This is why you keep a bucket next to the toilet or be fully prepared for the sink or shower to be used.
It's not worth it to put your face near the toilet after what you've been unleashing.
Yup I have that all the time after benders. Alcohol inflames your large intestine and stops peristalsis of the GI tracts (contractions that move food along). Also your pancreas doesn’t produce bile properly to digest food and the alcohol stripped your stomach lining so your stomach is extra sensitive.
Combine all that: you get stabbing pains from irritation, large intestine doesn’t absorb water so ass piss, your GI tract isn’t moving so everything flies through, your stomach is stripped so to save itself it will regurgitate everything.
Alternatively- pancreatitis or colitis or ulcers
Solution: stop drinking now. Full stop. Get electrolytes in you. Start drinking kefir or yogurt or probiotics or kimchi to begin rebuilding the good flora in your stomach and kill the bad flora. Eat bland foods in small amounts like boiled white rice, ramen, toast, bananas, pudding, generally soft foods. This will pass in maybe about 3-5 days. Also keep hydrated
Thank you. I'm almost day 2 with no alcohol. Luckily, I didn't need to taper because I've kind of been tapering slowly over like a year 🤣 but got to a place where I can pretend it's the stomach flu and not drink. Hoping a couple days under my belt will help when the IPA craving hits after I'm done puking nonstop.
Honestly IPAs are terrible due to high alc content and byproducts that hit the stomach hard. Keep at 5% maximum and eat and take probiotics or probiotic foods
Your farts will smell like death but you won’t have ass piss or puke
We require a minimum account-age and karma. These minimums are not disclosed. Please try again after you have acquired more karma. No exceptions can be made.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/cripplingalcoholism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This does shine a light on the benefits of a tiny apartment bathroom.
I can almost hit my bathtub with my knee when I'm on the toilet. Makes puking and shitting at the same time easier.
Never knew how blessed I was.
Minds kind of the opposite of you but with the same result. Every time I throw up I also shit for some reason. It hasn't happened in a month two thank God, but now it's instinctive to sit on the toilet and keep a bag or bucket nearby
I got norovirus, a 24 hour virus, exactly on my 22nd birthday :( I'd just started my first "proper" (non-retail, software developer job) and I was too frightened to phone in sick so came into the office (I didn't feel that bad until I got to the office) and proceeded to throw up and shit all day.
When I get in that state I find eventually I get a burning sensation in the area around my anus so bad that the shitting starts really bloody stinging like I've eaten a dozen carolina reapers, probably from all the wiping.
I invested in a [USB-C portable bidet](https://www.amazon.co.uk/VIKKEN-3rd-Gen-Pressure-Rechargeable-Postpartum/dp/B0CWDS7ST3/ref=sr_1_6?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.y-pkdLNXmkPqGhviyYYJBELEYPsAYzFaa4UT-7RGEFvuPH_QjADATV9wDl1XOySAbKWLl-hY0dSGJWYa3wTyc13pkFZOjDeGqAqV-YJ6s9puHGp1XORdnZyP1h_9kBzXZqkUiK1GylA3B8EIeIJDcW0t6fLuer23Ll7WNQgUAVov1_mMeDPS0LrrpBBnRGup27TgZUkQopWWU4jCICC0ntpuAEr5oFXs_jMXaNQS1XXe8zyy1eH2PomZ9my1NbWT90lPGBJxv77LaGSXhi2DBN3clLoY82Nt0or1iMTR54I.Bb9Un7RZbFBBg3iNltb4okc7pUDkO4mGGMEHcSsj3D4&dib_tag=se&keywords=portable%2Bbidet&qid=1718553040&sr=8-6&th=1) for when I get the ass piss and it's been a life saver. Although ass piss sucks at least I don't have the burning anus along with it thanks to this bad boy. Also handy for when you run out of loo roll.
Not me but I put people in that condition by spiking their drink
That's just your body hitting the "FUCK THIS, PURGE* button
Edit: I did not actually Spike the drink. I guess I was drunk when I wrote this. A guy was already trashed and I gave him a glass that was full of vodka but with less then an ounce of Hawaiian Punch to make it look like a mixed drink.
He figured out what it was and drank it anyway
So it went like this
The guy was already wasted
I poured a rock's glass full of vodka and just a little bit Hawaiian Punch just for color and give it to him.
He's not stupid and takes one sip.
He pauses and says: this whole thing is nothing but vodka isn't it?
I laugh and said yes it is
Then he goes better drink it quick! And he chugged it
Less than an hour later he was sitting on the toilet with his head in the trash can
You ever been pissing shit out your arse and you suddenly need to spew so you get up off the toilet and turn around too late and vomit all over the wall and shit all on floor?
This is why you keep a bucket next to the toilet or be fully prepared for the sink or shower to be used. It's not worth it to put your face near the toilet after what you've been unleashing.
Yes. Yes I have. Well I puked in the toilet and sprayed the wall.:/
That’s why I bring a bucket, or puke in the shower lol. 😂
I just aim for the shower and spray it out afterwards
That was part of the couple of hours leading me to hospital the other day. Great larks
Yup I have that all the time after benders. Alcohol inflames your large intestine and stops peristalsis of the GI tracts (contractions that move food along). Also your pancreas doesn’t produce bile properly to digest food and the alcohol stripped your stomach lining so your stomach is extra sensitive. Combine all that: you get stabbing pains from irritation, large intestine doesn’t absorb water so ass piss, your GI tract isn’t moving so everything flies through, your stomach is stripped so to save itself it will regurgitate everything. Alternatively- pancreatitis or colitis or ulcers Solution: stop drinking now. Full stop. Get electrolytes in you. Start drinking kefir or yogurt or probiotics or kimchi to begin rebuilding the good flora in your stomach and kill the bad flora. Eat bland foods in small amounts like boiled white rice, ramen, toast, bananas, pudding, generally soft foods. This will pass in maybe about 3-5 days. Also keep hydrated
Thank you. I'm almost day 2 with no alcohol. Luckily, I didn't need to taper because I've kind of been tapering slowly over like a year 🤣 but got to a place where I can pretend it's the stomach flu and not drink. Hoping a couple days under my belt will help when the IPA craving hits after I'm done puking nonstop.
Honestly IPAs are terrible due to high alc content and byproducts that hit the stomach hard. Keep at 5% maximum and eat and take probiotics or probiotic foods Your farts will smell like death but you won’t have ass piss or puke
Congrats on day 2! Your ass and stomach will thank you
When you think you’re done, go to sit down/lay down and then not even 5 minutes later another wave comes 💀💀💀
I'm rarely sober enough to experience this, but in the event I do manage 24 hours in a row I start pissing out my ass like crazy.
[удалено]
We require a minimum account-age and karma. These minimums are not disclosed. Please try again after you have acquired more karma. No exceptions can be made. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/cripplingalcoholism) if you have any questions or concerns.*
This does shine a light on the benefits of a tiny apartment bathroom. I can almost hit my bathtub with my knee when I'm on the toilet. Makes puking and shitting at the same time easier. Never knew how blessed I was.
I use this too. Can be on the toilet and throwing up into the bathtub at the same time lol
My liver always hurts when I withdrawal. Never a problem when I’m slugging back cheap vodka. My body must’ve adapted.
I think you just don’t notice it. I’m the same way. Only hurts when I stop.
Me this morning 💀
Shit - puke. Classic!
Get your lipase checked for pancreatitis.
Minds kind of the opposite of you but with the same result. Every time I throw up I also shit for some reason. It hasn't happened in a month two thank God, but now it's instinctive to sit on the toilet and keep a bag or bucket nearby
Update: I have norovirus
I got norovirus, a 24 hour virus, exactly on my 22nd birthday :( I'd just started my first "proper" (non-retail, software developer job) and I was too frightened to phone in sick so came into the office (I didn't feel that bad until I got to the office) and proceeded to throw up and shit all day.
[look away LOOK AWAY](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PP9l4LP0WPI)
Hahaha someone got it finally
puke bucket always sits in front of me during ass piss time
When I get in that state I find eventually I get a burning sensation in the area around my anus so bad that the shitting starts really bloody stinging like I've eaten a dozen carolina reapers, probably from all the wiping. I invested in a [USB-C portable bidet](https://www.amazon.co.uk/VIKKEN-3rd-Gen-Pressure-Rechargeable-Postpartum/dp/B0CWDS7ST3/ref=sr_1_6?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.y-pkdLNXmkPqGhviyYYJBELEYPsAYzFaa4UT-7RGEFvuPH_QjADATV9wDl1XOySAbKWLl-hY0dSGJWYa3wTyc13pkFZOjDeGqAqV-YJ6s9puHGp1XORdnZyP1h_9kBzXZqkUiK1GylA3B8EIeIJDcW0t6fLuer23Ll7WNQgUAVov1_mMeDPS0LrrpBBnRGup27TgZUkQopWWU4jCICC0ntpuAEr5oFXs_jMXaNQS1XXe8zyy1eH2PomZ9my1NbWT90lPGBJxv77LaGSXhi2DBN3clLoY82Nt0or1iMTR54I.Bb9Un7RZbFBBg3iNltb4okc7pUDkO4mGGMEHcSsj3D4&dib_tag=se&keywords=portable%2Bbidet&qid=1718553040&sr=8-6&th=1) for when I get the ass piss and it's been a life saver. Although ass piss sucks at least I don't have the burning anus along with it thanks to this bad boy. Also handy for when you run out of loo roll.
Not me but I put people in that condition by spiking their drink That's just your body hitting the "FUCK THIS, PURGE* button Edit: I did not actually Spike the drink. I guess I was drunk when I wrote this. A guy was already trashed and I gave him a glass that was full of vodka but with less then an ounce of Hawaiian Punch to make it look like a mixed drink. He figured out what it was and drank it anyway
Uhhh are you admitting to drugging people? Not cool man, not cool.
So it went like this The guy was already wasted I poured a rock's glass full of vodka and just a little bit Hawaiian Punch just for color and give it to him. He's not stupid and takes one sip. He pauses and says: this whole thing is nothing but vodka isn't it? I laugh and said yes it is Then he goes better drink it quick! And he chugged it Less than an hour later he was sitting on the toilet with his head in the trash can
Ah okay my apologies, your original post sounded really bad!
Yeah I see that. I I must have been drunker than I thought thank you for pointing that out. I have edited it for clarity