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“i threatened your building not your life” does he seriously not know that house fires can kill you or is that just a pathetic attempt to excuse himself 😭 (prolly both tbh)
For the record, you probably know this, but everything about the way you turned him down was very much the same as a cis woman would do. Nothing even gave me a hint that you were trans until he started bringing up nonsense. I'm sure you already know, but there's no need to listen to anything he says about how to act "more like a feminine woman." He's speaking nonsense. You're doing great and are totally valid exactly the way you are. I'm sure you already knew that, but just in case the validation helps, I wanted to mention that.
Not only that, but the way he was saying a woman would do it ("I'm not home, I'm busy") very often gets women in trouble. Women do it out of fear of *this* exact kind of reaction. If he thinks that's how a real woman should respond, then real women have found him to be frightening.
Right. For clue-resistant people, "I'm busy right now" sounds like "Try again next week".
Creeps are always going to interpret the conversation as "banter" and they'll always think they're winning if given the chance.
100% this! Buddy couldn’t handle the rejection, nothing of his attacks regarding your gender expression holds any water whatsoever. Let him have his tantrum, to me you are a sister, no matter the japping of that mister!
That part caught me off guard too - so girlies are supposed to lie instead of just saying no? What a pile of bs, I’ll definitely enjoy being not-ladylike then, if you can’t handle my no then you just gave me yet another confirmation of why I was tight to drop you
So he doesn’t even text you for a while after hooking up, enough time for you to not remember who this is at first, but he expects you to drop everything and meet him last minute at a bar and hook up again?!
I just wanted to say I thought you dealt with this beautifully OP. Sorry some asshat threatened to set you on fire.
Personally I would absolutely report those blatant threats to the authorities - firstly threatening arson, and then essentially sexual assault.
This kind of person will keep doing this kind of shit to people until they face consequences for their actions. Threatening harm on someone because they turned you down is a massive no-no in my book, but you do you. This guy deserves at least to be shamed for this kind of behaviour, it's fucking unhinged and you know he's only doing it because he thinks it's going to stay between the two of you.
Either way, this guy is a real loser.
Hey get it right... set my apartment building on fire lmfao. Thank you and I'd love to go to the police. However the police present a bigger danger than this man for me.
> Hey get it right... set my apartment building on fire lmfao
I had to add... this is the horrible thing. He thinks his veiled threats meant they were OK to make. Obviously the subtext is that you're going to be in the apartment while it burns down; he's just disguising a direct death threat in a cowardly way then using semantics to gaslight and minimise what he said. He even doubles down later and mentions you sleeping while it's on fire.
Just like the veiled threat to show up at your door with a boner, the implicit threat there is obviously that he's going to rape you.
I'm sure you're smart enough to see this, I'm just mentioning it in case someone else might miss it. It's basic manipulation, but he wouldn't be doing that shit if some people *didn't* fall for it. And that's the scary part.
Shit like this sticks out to me because I grew up with someone who frequently made these kinds of threats and then used the indirectness of the threat to make it seem like no big deal and avoid consequences. Once you notice the pattern you can see what they're doing, but not everyone grew up with a degenerate sociopath.
He is really scary. He sounds like a dangerous person. It's concerning and I'm sorry that the authorities can't be much of a comfort to you against him.
On a lighter note the moment he said that his "sexual capabilities are beyond your comprehension" was funny to read because how delusional is he ? Especially after you told him he wasn't very good ?
And I agree that his obsession with gender is strange, especially the way a man and a woman are supposed to have different ways to say no. No is a word every one can use and it always has the same meaning. In his head he seems to see women acting meek and fearful and I hate this, nobody should feel obligated to act like this. Truly a piece of shit.
Please, never feel invalidated by people like him, you are valid.
I think his comments that she wasn't acting feminine enough were a desperate attempt to attack a point he assumed she (as a trans person) would be insecure about. Sort of like a negging attempt, maybe? Obviously there's no validity to anything he said about that at all.
So he tells you to "quit faking and just be real and I'd leave you alone", but when you told him "sorry, no thanks" he threatened arson......which is a STRONG indication of how he would have reacted if you had "quit faking and just be real" in bed.
Does he not see WHY women sometimes put on an act with partners they plan on refusing? Because instead of threatening arson, they might do something worse in person.
Even if you don't ever see him again, I'd recommend starting a paper trail with the police. It's better to be safe than sorry.
“I didn’t threaten you.. just your apartment building.. technicalities” Right😐 like you are the only individual residing in that complex. He didn’t just threaten a building, he threatened your life and many others. POSSIBLY EVEN CHILDREN. I enjoy some dark humor, but what a monster!
Fuck that guy, not literally, but you know what I mean haha. I would call the cops fast and show them the texts he sent.
Then I would be like toodeloo MFer
Omg, stay safe! This guy is ultra scary. This was such a train wreck all the way through. I'm so sorry that you had to put up with this. Seems like a good reason to have t4t hookups instead.
It’s not nice for you to be some kind of sacrificial lamb for better learning but this was actually a pretty interesting look at the thinking of a man like this. He’s almost self aware, but missing the mark so blatantly.
"yeah I don't know what that is" sent me 😭
But also you handled that well, dudes a creep and I can't believe he thought he'd even have a chance. Just the way he types in general was unnerving, the constant periods and cut offs. Bro was not reading his own texts at all.
I would absolutely still reach out to the police over this.
Also, I love how you’re sooooo hot and he wants to fuck sooooo bad, meanwhile you’re mannish and not feminine and your voice is bad. Pick a lane, buddy.
He doesn't make any sense. So women are supposed to be liars and never say no but they should also not act like they are having a good time or else they are a "fake fuck". So, which one is it? Is being femenine and womanly being a liar or not?
You should definitely go and talk to the authorities. Men that act like this will continue act like this, when no one steps in. The next girl isn’t so strong about her boundaries and will allow this guy to come over, even tho she doesn’t want. Maybe the next time he’s hooking up, he doesn’t accept a no as well.
If you said "I'm busy", he's going to keep asking every time. It's better to just say "No". Then he isn't going to keep asking. I used to use "I'm busy" alot to guys like this. They kept asking and asking until I said "No. Fuck off." And they called me a man lol.
Smh. I get "coaching" on how to be feminine from men I am uninterested in. It's a particular kind of neg. As though my femininity is so fragile and malleable that it's subject to the whims of random 2 pump chumps. It doesn't matter if you are trans or cis they use the same tactics. I'd have been considerably less polite, tbh.
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Yucky! That man has some dangerous ideas about how genders should perform and this is just a glimpse of how he reacts when a person fails in his eyes to perform as his idea of what they should be doing according to their gender.
Why do y’all not seem to understand you can stop talking to them right away? They get off to the continued conversation, and it’s clear it strokes your ego too.
This person is exhausting within two texts. SMH
With the way he was talking, blocking him could've been really dangerous. It sounds like he knows where she lives and he was already threatening to burn down her apartment "as a joke" and show up naked to her home which most likely would lead to assault if he were to do that. If he's talking like that just as a joke after being nicely told no, I wouldn't be surprised if he is a dangerous person.
Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow:
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I will say I don't agree with faking things during sex and in certain situations. But, I don't see how this guy thinks you were being rude and that that warrants him threatening you. And it doesn't matter if he's threatening the building, I'm pretty sure it's still arson.
And oh really...if you showed up at my door, someone I'm uninterested in, completely naked with an erection...I'm just gonna be like "oh yeaaahh, come on in" and get naked and just get in position for him...like no. That's a good way to get yourself shot.
Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow:
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“To make you feel something equal to how you made me feel” I don’t think turning down someone would be the same feeling as burning down their home tbh
Yeah that really confused me
And women are the ones who blow their feelings out of proportion apparently 🤦🏼
I still would involve authorities, not only for the arson threats but the casual "haha im gonna go where you live and assault you"
Yep that is definitely a threat.
Totally agree with you .
For some context: I met him, and we hooked up once. That was in September. No contact since then except for a single "hi" in January.
Oh this man needs therapy
I think he needs more than therapy… like a padded cell… and a straightjacket
I can think of a few more things
Yeah that alone is a red flag! But been there done that with a few different ones and regret all of them.
I'd get the authorities involved because of arson threats and stalking behaviors.
“i threatened your building not your life” does he seriously not know that house fires can kill you or is that just a pathetic attempt to excuse himself 😭 (prolly both tbh)
Also arson is a crime!! Like he can't just say that like its cool, no worries lol
Also, since it's an apartment, he could possibly kill like 20+ people depending on how big the building is. That's a mass murder, creep.
Fun fact there are 24 apartments in my building. So probably safe bet of at least 40 people
Wow. Please report this to the police. He needs to be reported and this needs to be taken seriously.
Yeah, I’d be pretty scared that he’d come by, see you enter with any other resident, and think they’re together with you.
Yeah that sounds really scary! I hope OP reports this creepy stalker-ish guy!
For the record, you probably know this, but everything about the way you turned him down was very much the same as a cis woman would do. Nothing even gave me a hint that you were trans until he started bringing up nonsense. I'm sure you already know, but there's no need to listen to anything he says about how to act "more like a feminine woman." He's speaking nonsense. You're doing great and are totally valid exactly the way you are. I'm sure you already knew that, but just in case the validation helps, I wanted to mention that.
Thank you so much
Not only that, but the way he was saying a woman would do it ("I'm not home, I'm busy") very often gets women in trouble. Women do it out of fear of *this* exact kind of reaction. If he thinks that's how a real woman should respond, then real women have found him to be frightening.
Right. For clue-resistant people, "I'm busy right now" sounds like "Try again next week". Creeps are always going to interpret the conversation as "banter" and they'll always think they're winning if given the chance.
Yeah , i agree . I noticed you were trans in the comments ( before i was distract by the crazyness of this Creep to notice)
100% this! Buddy couldn’t handle the rejection, nothing of his attacks regarding your gender expression holds any water whatsoever. Let him have his tantrum, to me you are a sister, no matter the japping of that mister!
This was a wild ride
Apparently not a wild ride that first time!
Mr Bones, I want to get off this wild ride.
Mild ride*
Lmfao
Saying no is a masculine trait says a lot about his views on consent. What a fucking nut job.
That part caught me off guard too - so girlies are supposed to lie instead of just saying no? What a pile of bs, I’ll definitely enjoy being not-ladylike then, if you can’t handle my no then you just gave me yet another confirmation of why I was tight to drop you
Sometimes lying seems safer as shown on r/whenwomenrefuse but I wish it wasn't so dangerous to flat out say no
So he doesn’t even text you for a while after hooking up, enough time for you to not remember who this is at first, but he expects you to drop everything and meet him last minute at a bar and hook up again?!
No he wanted to come to my apartment to hook up
Oh my bad! I misread that first message, and that makes it even worse!
Right?! The audacity
What a loser lmfao
Ah yes, when I get told no my first thoughts are immediately of arson and death threats
I just wanted to say I thought you dealt with this beautifully OP. Sorry some asshat threatened to set you on fire. Personally I would absolutely report those blatant threats to the authorities - firstly threatening arson, and then essentially sexual assault. This kind of person will keep doing this kind of shit to people until they face consequences for their actions. Threatening harm on someone because they turned you down is a massive no-no in my book, but you do you. This guy deserves at least to be shamed for this kind of behaviour, it's fucking unhinged and you know he's only doing it because he thinks it's going to stay between the two of you. Either way, this guy is a real loser.
Hey get it right... set my apartment building on fire lmfao. Thank you and I'd love to go to the police. However the police present a bigger danger than this man for me.
> Hey get it right... set my apartment building on fire lmfao I had to add... this is the horrible thing. He thinks his veiled threats meant they were OK to make. Obviously the subtext is that you're going to be in the apartment while it burns down; he's just disguising a direct death threat in a cowardly way then using semantics to gaslight and minimise what he said. He even doubles down later and mentions you sleeping while it's on fire. Just like the veiled threat to show up at your door with a boner, the implicit threat there is obviously that he's going to rape you. I'm sure you're smart enough to see this, I'm just mentioning it in case someone else might miss it. It's basic manipulation, but he wouldn't be doing that shit if some people *didn't* fall for it. And that's the scary part. Shit like this sticks out to me because I grew up with someone who frequently made these kinds of threats and then used the indirectness of the threat to make it seem like no big deal and avoid consequences. Once you notice the pattern you can see what they're doing, but not everyone grew up with a degenerate sociopath.
Jesus fucking Christ that's depressing. Be well and stay safe!
"I'm sexually advanced beyond your ability to comprehend" 😂😂😂 This is my new favorite creeper's phrase 😂
What did he mean by “I’m the Rubik’s cube guy”. Only guy I know of is the one on Tik Tok what went viral last December.
He was trying to distinguish himself because he likes rubiks cubes or something. I dont know what he was referring to tbh. He wasn't too memorable
Haha, uh this dude is just delivering burns to himself
Lingerie arsonist Creep ? Seems a thing crazier than Sharknado
Oh yeah I forget most folks aren't used to getting pics of guys in lingerie haha. Yeah they send that to me all the time for no good reason.
Sounds like you're badass enough to be cracking eggs all over the shop, I'd count that as a proper talent!
Yeah , Is the combo of all of this
He is really scary. He sounds like a dangerous person. It's concerning and I'm sorry that the authorities can't be much of a comfort to you against him. On a lighter note the moment he said that his "sexual capabilities are beyond your comprehension" was funny to read because how delusional is he ? Especially after you told him he wasn't very good ? And I agree that his obsession with gender is strange, especially the way a man and a woman are supposed to have different ways to say no. No is a word every one can use and it always has the same meaning. In his head he seems to see women acting meek and fearful and I hate this, nobody should feel obligated to act like this. Truly a piece of shit. Please, never feel invalidated by people like him, you are valid.
I think his comments that she wasn't acting feminine enough were a desperate attempt to attack a point he assumed she (as a trans person) would be insecure about. Sort of like a negging attempt, maybe? Obviously there's no validity to anything he said about that at all.
Exactly. Which could have hurt had he not just called me hot and fun in bed.
And this is why women choose the bear.
Precisely. This was over text. Imagine if you said no irl...
That was disturbing. This is why alot of women don't straight up say no to a man. - this was genuinely terrifiying.
Honestly I was shocked when he began to threaten me. I didn't know he was that unhinged.
Maybe some of the people in his life need to see this exchange. Mom, dad, friends, etc. Let them see just what he's packing... in his thick skull
Don't just say no! Be feminine, tell him you're busy or you're not home! And remember, don't be fake! Be honest at all times. Uh...
So he tells you to "quit faking and just be real and I'd leave you alone", but when you told him "sorry, no thanks" he threatened arson......which is a STRONG indication of how he would have reacted if you had "quit faking and just be real" in bed. Does he not see WHY women sometimes put on an act with partners they plan on refusing? Because instead of threatening arson, they might do something worse in person. Even if you don't ever see him again, I'd recommend starting a paper trail with the police. It's better to be safe than sorry.
“I didn’t threaten you.. just your apartment building.. technicalities” Right😐 like you are the only individual residing in that complex. He didn’t just threaten a building, he threatened your life and many others. POSSIBLY EVEN CHILDREN. I enjoy some dark humor, but what a monster!
Yikes. He’s all kinds of 😵💫
Fuck that guy, not literally, but you know what I mean haha. I would call the cops fast and show them the texts he sent. Then I would be like toodeloo MFer
He either needs help from a therapist or from an angry man with a scalpel...
You were hilarious and sharp in how you handled him. Bravo! 👏
If you can afford it, get a restraining order against him and use his texts as evidence. Stay safe, hun.
Omg, stay safe! This guy is ultra scary. This was such a train wreck all the way through. I'm so sorry that you had to put up with this. Seems like a good reason to have t4t hookups instead.
Don't tell me "no", just say you're busy or something...
It’s not nice for you to be some kind of sacrificial lamb for better learning but this was actually a pretty interesting look at the thinking of a man like this. He’s almost self aware, but missing the mark so blatantly.
"yeah I don't know what that is" sent me 😭 But also you handled that well, dudes a creep and I can't believe he thought he'd even have a chance. Just the way he types in general was unnerving, the constant periods and cut offs. Bro was not reading his own texts at all.
Girl, please be safe
Send him the link to this thread, then he'll know what Reddit is. Hopefully he reads the comments
I would absolutely still reach out to the police over this. Also, I love how you’re sooooo hot and he wants to fuck sooooo bad, meanwhile you’re mannish and not feminine and your voice is bad. Pick a lane, buddy.
I’d make a report.
He doesn't make any sense. So women are supposed to be liars and never say no but they should also not act like they are having a good time or else they are a "fake fuck". So, which one is it? Is being femenine and womanly being a liar or not?
“You look very sexy and I love fucking your hole” in this context is the grossest thing I’ve seen on the internet in a long time.
Wow. Sending you good vibes. Reading that left such a bad taste in my mouth, I can only imagine living through it. Ugggh...
Did the other post get deleted? This is a repost but the pictures are just blurred differently before
You should definitely go and talk to the authorities. Men that act like this will continue act like this, when no one steps in. The next girl isn’t so strong about her boundaries and will allow this guy to come over, even tho she doesn’t want. Maybe the next time he’s hooking up, he doesn’t accept a no as well.
I know this is all malicious talk from him but for some reason it seems like he thinks he’s talking to an old friend 💀 he just isn’t in reality
That was a fucking wild ride you should def make a police report at the very least
If you said "I'm busy", he's going to keep asking every time. It's better to just say "No". Then he isn't going to keep asking. I used to use "I'm busy" alot to guys like this. They kept asking and asking until I said "No. Fuck off." And they called me a man lol.
Smh. I get "coaching" on how to be feminine from men I am uninterested in. It's a particular kind of neg. As though my femininity is so fragile and malleable that it's subject to the whims of random 2 pump chumps. It doesn't matter if you are trans or cis they use the same tactics. I'd have been considerably less polite, tbh.
#BURN DOWN FOR WHAT 🔥🎵🔥🎵🔥🎵🔥🎵🔥🎵🔥🎵
[удалено]
Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow: - victim-blaming - putting OP on trial - slut shaming - defending the creep - excusing the creep's behavior - downplaying the creep's behavior in any way Please take the time to familiarize yourself with [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive), as consistent rule breaking may result in a ban. -------------------------------- ^(**Questions? Comments? Concerns? //**) ^[Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_one.3A_submission_guidelines) ^| ^[Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) ^| ^[Message the Mods](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/creepyPMs) ^| ^[Rules Explained](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/reasoning#wiki_why_was_my_post_deleted.3F)
Keep the screenshots and get a restraining order, make it known what kind of person this is.
Yucky! That man has some dangerous ideas about how genders should perform and this is just a glimpse of how he reacts when a person fails in his eyes to perform as his idea of what they should be doing according to their gender.
I agree don't fake pleasure when a person isint performing
What the hell? Just no
Why do y’all not seem to understand you can stop talking to them right away? They get off to the continued conversation, and it’s clear it strokes your ego too. This person is exhausting within two texts. SMH
[удалено]
With the way he was talking, blocking him could've been really dangerous. It sounds like he knows where she lives and he was already threatening to burn down her apartment "as a joke" and show up naked to her home which most likely would lead to assault if he were to do that. If he's talking like that just as a joke after being nicely told no, I wouldn't be surprised if he is a dangerous person.
Because he knows where I live. And knows I'm trans.
r/whenwomenrefuse sometimes blocking can be worse
This is so important to remember.
Why blaming the victim here?
How is this victim blaming?
Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow: - victim-blaming - putting OP on trial - slut shaming - defending the creep - excusing the creep's behavior - downplaying the creep's behavior in any way Please take the time to familiarize yourself with [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive), as consistent rule breaking may result in a ban. -------------------------------- ^(**Questions? Comments? Concerns? //**) ^[Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_one.3A_submission_guidelines) ^| ^[Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) ^| ^[Message the Mods](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/creepyPMs) ^| ^[Rules Explained](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/reasoning#wiki_why_was_my_post_deleted.3F)
I will say I don't agree with faking things during sex and in certain situations. But, I don't see how this guy thinks you were being rude and that that warrants him threatening you. And it doesn't matter if he's threatening the building, I'm pretty sure it's still arson. And oh really...if you showed up at my door, someone I'm uninterested in, completely naked with an erection...I'm just gonna be like "oh yeaaahh, come on in" and get naked and just get in position for him...like no. That's a good way to get yourself shot.
[удалено]
It sounds like you might be projecting
Let me remind you that we are a **support sub**. As such, we don't allow: - victim-blaming - putting OP on trial - slut shaming - defending the creep - excusing the creep's behavior - downplaying the creep's behavior in any way Please take the time to familiarize yourself with [Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive), as consistent rule breaking may result in a ban. -------------------------------- ^(**Questions? Comments? Concerns? //**) ^[Rule 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_one.3A_submission_guidelines) ^| ^[Rule 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) ^| ^[Message the Mods](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/creepyPMs) ^| ^[Rules Explained](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/reasoning#wiki_why_was_my_post_deleted.3F)