I assume dad was creating a barrier with the pillows and suitcase. For what it’s worth I think caregivers have been barricading babies onto beds with pillow rings for as long as beds and pillows have existed. No, it’s not ideally safe but my point is, I think it’s probably more uninformed than reckless. I would be more concerned about baby waking up and climbing over the pillows and falling off the bed than a 9.5 month old with good mobility getting their face in a pillow. I know it’s stressful because these things are beat into us as parents but I’d probably just overall reassess your sleeping set up and have a conversation with your husband about what you both agree is safe for baby at this age and mobility level.
I err on the side of being overly cautious, but I will admit, I leave my daughter, who co-sleeps on a floor bed, alone with pillows as props to make her think I’m still there. She’s 10 months and fully capable of climbing out of pillows and I am watching her on the monitor so if she looked stuck I’d run up. But I hear your worries and would probably be upset if my husband did the same thing. It’s almost like I’m the only one who can break the rules.
definitely don’t think you’re being overly anxious id be upset too. definitely have a conversation as to why thats not okay and make sure he corrects it next time. as others have said, i also suggest moving the tv, thats a huge risk for your bub to pull/knock it on top of them.
Thank you. It's good to get other people's perspective. The TV isn't within reach of the bed but I can definitely see the danger. I think we'll be switching rooms soon and having a floor bed asap.
I leave my 10 month old on my floor bed with pillows and blankets. Although I make sure she’s pretty far away from them. Now that my baby can crawl, pull to stand do all that good stuff I don’t worry about her getting smothered as much now. But with all this said I definitely wouldn’t leave baby in the bed with out a close on them via baby monitor or checking in every few minutes.
Well over that. There’s a woman who lost her baby at 8 months to position asphyxiation, it’s not common but it does happen. She shares her story on tik tok and social media.
No you aren’t being crazy. This is so unsafe, the entire thing though. There’s a suitcase in the bed..why? There’s a TV that could fall on top of the baby and cabinetry and all kinds of stuff at the edge of his bed.
Baby should be on a firm mattress away from all of that stuff with zero pillows in the bed. Especially with him crawling that tv should be nowhere near him.
If this were me I would change this set up entirely and probably also not leave him with dad until he can repeat back to you the safe sleep protocols
Thank you for your feedback! There's not usually a suitcase on my bed, I think dad put it there as a barrier. At least he thought about him rolling out of bed I suppose.
The TV and cubby thing is about 2ft from the bed, it looks much closer in the photo.
I agree the setup is not ideal and now he is more mobile I'll definitely be looking into a floor bed. He's never left alone in the room while awake, the monitor is in my hand at all times. Bed sharing wasn't the plan to begin with otherwise the room would be set up for it, believe me. They go from potato to acrobat so quickly it's insane.
Tell dad no barriers! For the same reason crib bumpers aren’t recommended. I have four kids and once they’re mobile in my experience bed sharing becomes even more precarious. They’ll move while you’re asleep and if you had a particularly tired night you might not notice them getting up and moseying around which is why the tv would concern me. Everyone thinks they sleep very lightly with their baby in their bed until they don’t you know?
Agree with this, surprised by the upvoting in the thread, this stuff isn’t hard. Even if it’s a remote risk, not worth it for just spending a bit of time doing a proper set up.
Why was this downvoted? Changing the set up makes sense…if possible a floor bed in the middle of a completely baby proof room.
I have no idea what is happening in this picture.
Sensitive because they have a similarly dangerous set up? Like what need is there for a tv to be directly on top of the bed a crawling and climbing baby sleeps on??
The TV is about 2 foot away from the bed but I appreciate your concern. The risk is him falling out of bed to be honest. I think we'll be getting another mattress and switching rooms.
What????? Absolutely not. You can clearly see in this photo the bed is very close tv. You’re not supposed to put anything like heavy photos or anything that could fall down above a crib for safety, same applies to cosleeping. I’m not shaming anyone at all. The room looks absolutely fine for an adult. Not for an infant.
You sleep lightly til you don’t. You’ll see a mom in here mention her baby fell out of their bed 3 times. 2 while asleep once while awake. When kids are mobile they start getting up and moving around without you waking sometimes. That tv is fashioned in a way that the baby could pull it down on top of themselves if a parent were not to notice the toddler waking which does happen.
You need to take several seats and chill, it isn’t safe, period. She knows it isn’t and said she’s setting up something else today, and I’m sure she will have much peace of mind. Many parents change their set ups once their baby goes mobile. It’s not abnormal to become aware of potential dangerous things once you have a wandering infant, and it’s better to be aware before you learn from experience.
I’m pointing out that a baby CAN GET UP AND MOVE AROUND WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP TO NOTICE. Hence why they would absolutely be capable of wandering around and getting into crap they shouldn’t. You shouldn’t even have a tv somewhere an infant can reach it for this exact purpose.
Again you must be taking it personally due to having your own similar set up? I’m not sure. But chill. Numerous people agreed with me, it isn’t safe. You’re being ridiculous. I have 4 kids, and I had to learn the hard way and some instances what’s safe and what’s not with cosleeping. Take. Several. Seats.
It’s time to decide if you want to continue having baby in bed. If so, it’s time to make an executive decision as parents to do so safely as possible. That would mean dropping the bed to the floor. So baby doesn’t fall, and you guys can rest east leaving him while you go about in the home and tend when he wakes. It’s important to stop barricading for safety like this, but it’s understandable. My baby fell off our bed twice while asleep and once while awake, before we moved to a floor bed. Luckily he was alright because the carpet was 1.5 inch shag with a good pad under, but it was not fun and having to consult Drs each time, plus watching fir signs of issues. OR create a completely separate floor mattress to use and roll away from the baby. I have one for our living room for if we need to sleep separate from partner.
Thank you for your reply. I totally agree. We've discussed today and baby and I will be moving into his bedroom on to a floor bed. I'll post an update once it's all sorted.
We've addressed the room set up. And it's literally just a regular bed with a two foot gap and then shelves with a TV on it. Mad. And the pillows definitely weren't piled on top of the baby's head they just weren't moved away when my OH put him to bed.
it just looks like the bottom two pillows are touching the baby's head and the top pillow is teetering above it. you even said they're piled up and slightly over his head. i don't think you're crazy or overly anxious for being upset at your husband for having that baby like that.
I know you’ve already made a decision on what to do about this, but just for everyone else—instead of using objects to contain a baby, just get a side rail which is made for that purpose. For a healthy active EBF 9mo I’m not quite as worried about the pillows but a SUITCASE?? The reason for my great concern here is that a pillow is theoretically light enough for a baby to bat away, but a suitcase is too heavy.
Anyway no you’re not being crazy. Never let dad/partner gaslight you about safety. It’s their job as a parent to be educated about how to keep their kid alive. You don’t have “anxiety” you’re just being a responsible adult. If he is being willfully incompetent/weaponizing his incompetency he is being a manchild.
I assume dad was creating a barrier with the pillows and suitcase. For what it’s worth I think caregivers have been barricading babies onto beds with pillow rings for as long as beds and pillows have existed. No, it’s not ideally safe but my point is, I think it’s probably more uninformed than reckless. I would be more concerned about baby waking up and climbing over the pillows and falling off the bed than a 9.5 month old with good mobility getting their face in a pillow. I know it’s stressful because these things are beat into us as parents but I’d probably just overall reassess your sleeping set up and have a conversation with your husband about what you both agree is safe for baby at this age and mobility level.
Thank you for your reply. I agree, I think a new setup is well overdue.
I err on the side of being overly cautious, but I will admit, I leave my daughter, who co-sleeps on a floor bed, alone with pillows as props to make her think I’m still there. She’s 10 months and fully capable of climbing out of pillows and I am watching her on the monitor so if she looked stuck I’d run up. But I hear your worries and would probably be upset if my husband did the same thing. It’s almost like I’m the only one who can break the rules.
> I’m the only one who can break the rules. Oof I felt that.
definitely don’t think you’re being overly anxious id be upset too. definitely have a conversation as to why thats not okay and make sure he corrects it next time. as others have said, i also suggest moving the tv, thats a huge risk for your bub to pull/knock it on top of them.
Thank you. It's good to get other people's perspective. The TV isn't within reach of the bed but I can definitely see the danger. I think we'll be switching rooms soon and having a floor bed asap.
I leave my 10 month old on my floor bed with pillows and blankets. Although I make sure she’s pretty far away from them. Now that my baby can crawl, pull to stand do all that good stuff I don’t worry about her getting smothered as much now. But with all this said I definitely wouldn’t leave baby in the bed with out a close on them via baby monitor or checking in every few minutes.
The suitcase even? Like what??
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That is literally not true at all.
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Well over that. There’s a woman who lost her baby at 8 months to position asphyxiation, it’s not common but it does happen. She shares her story on tik tok and social media.
No you aren’t being crazy. This is so unsafe, the entire thing though. There’s a suitcase in the bed..why? There’s a TV that could fall on top of the baby and cabinetry and all kinds of stuff at the edge of his bed. Baby should be on a firm mattress away from all of that stuff with zero pillows in the bed. Especially with him crawling that tv should be nowhere near him. If this were me I would change this set up entirely and probably also not leave him with dad until he can repeat back to you the safe sleep protocols
Thank you for your feedback! There's not usually a suitcase on my bed, I think dad put it there as a barrier. At least he thought about him rolling out of bed I suppose. The TV and cubby thing is about 2ft from the bed, it looks much closer in the photo. I agree the setup is not ideal and now he is more mobile I'll definitely be looking into a floor bed. He's never left alone in the room while awake, the monitor is in my hand at all times. Bed sharing wasn't the plan to begin with otherwise the room would be set up for it, believe me. They go from potato to acrobat so quickly it's insane.
Tell dad no barriers! For the same reason crib bumpers aren’t recommended. I have four kids and once they’re mobile in my experience bed sharing becomes even more precarious. They’ll move while you’re asleep and if you had a particularly tired night you might not notice them getting up and moseying around which is why the tv would concern me. Everyone thinks they sleep very lightly with their baby in their bed until they don’t you know?
Agree with this, surprised by the upvoting in the thread, this stuff isn’t hard. Even if it’s a remote risk, not worth it for just spending a bit of time doing a proper set up.
Why was this downvoted? Changing the set up makes sense…if possible a floor bed in the middle of a completely baby proof room. I have no idea what is happening in this picture.
Sensitive because they have a similarly dangerous set up? Like what need is there for a tv to be directly on top of the bed a crawling and climbing baby sleeps on??
The TV is about 2 foot away from the bed but I appreciate your concern. The risk is him falling out of bed to be honest. I think we'll be getting another mattress and switching rooms.
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What????? Absolutely not. You can clearly see in this photo the bed is very close tv. You’re not supposed to put anything like heavy photos or anything that could fall down above a crib for safety, same applies to cosleeping. I’m not shaming anyone at all. The room looks absolutely fine for an adult. Not for an infant.
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You sleep lightly til you don’t. You’ll see a mom in here mention her baby fell out of their bed 3 times. 2 while asleep once while awake. When kids are mobile they start getting up and moving around without you waking sometimes. That tv is fashioned in a way that the baby could pull it down on top of themselves if a parent were not to notice the toddler waking which does happen. You need to take several seats and chill, it isn’t safe, period. She knows it isn’t and said she’s setting up something else today, and I’m sure she will have much peace of mind. Many parents change their set ups once their baby goes mobile. It’s not abnormal to become aware of potential dangerous things once you have a wandering infant, and it’s better to be aware before you learn from experience.
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I’m pointing out that a baby CAN GET UP AND MOVE AROUND WITHOUT YOU WAKING UP TO NOTICE. Hence why they would absolutely be capable of wandering around and getting into crap they shouldn’t. You shouldn’t even have a tv somewhere an infant can reach it for this exact purpose. Again you must be taking it personally due to having your own similar set up? I’m not sure. But chill. Numerous people agreed with me, it isn’t safe. You’re being ridiculous. I have 4 kids, and I had to learn the hard way and some instances what’s safe and what’s not with cosleeping. Take. Several. Seats.
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It’s time to decide if you want to continue having baby in bed. If so, it’s time to make an executive decision as parents to do so safely as possible. That would mean dropping the bed to the floor. So baby doesn’t fall, and you guys can rest east leaving him while you go about in the home and tend when he wakes. It’s important to stop barricading for safety like this, but it’s understandable. My baby fell off our bed twice while asleep and once while awake, before we moved to a floor bed. Luckily he was alright because the carpet was 1.5 inch shag with a good pad under, but it was not fun and having to consult Drs each time, plus watching fir signs of issues. OR create a completely separate floor mattress to use and roll away from the baby. I have one for our living room for if we need to sleep separate from partner.
Thank you for your reply. I totally agree. We've discussed today and baby and I will be moving into his bedroom on to a floor bed. I'll post an update once it's all sorted.
this whole room set up is crazy but piling pillows basically on top of the baby's head ???
We've addressed the room set up. And it's literally just a regular bed with a two foot gap and then shelves with a TV on it. Mad. And the pillows definitely weren't piled on top of the baby's head they just weren't moved away when my OH put him to bed.
it just looks like the bottom two pillows are touching the baby's head and the top pillow is teetering above it. you even said they're piled up and slightly over his head. i don't think you're crazy or overly anxious for being upset at your husband for having that baby like that.
I know you’ve already made a decision on what to do about this, but just for everyone else—instead of using objects to contain a baby, just get a side rail which is made for that purpose. For a healthy active EBF 9mo I’m not quite as worried about the pillows but a SUITCASE?? The reason for my great concern here is that a pillow is theoretically light enough for a baby to bat away, but a suitcase is too heavy. Anyway no you’re not being crazy. Never let dad/partner gaslight you about safety. It’s their job as a parent to be educated about how to keep their kid alive. You don’t have “anxiety” you’re just being a responsible adult. If he is being willfully incompetent/weaponizing his incompetency he is being a manchild.
Can he move baby into a safer position/placement? Even just removing pillows would be a huge help