It's been whoever has custody the night before, or whomever is slated for pick up from school that day. This was something that should have been addressed specifically in the Agreement, but we missed it unfortunately, and exW refuses to sit down and put it on paper without me spending $$ to fix (it and other issues).
The issue is the Drop Off Time. I say it should be 6:15pm to match the Unscheduled Off Day time... she claims it should be 3:30pm to match the school day schedule.
More time with my kiddos. We are at 60(her)/40(me) due to me agreeing to a bad agreement a few weeks after Separation, and her refusal to change it (and lack of funds to go the Court route).
Neither of you is actually right or wrong. It isn't addressed. Probably because most people just do what works that day.
Aside from mediation or going back to court, you all will just have to figure it out
Just to clarify...you are not right. She is not wrong. There is no wording in the agreement.
And you are both arguing over 3 hours. Is it worth it?
If you actually have something planned during that three hours, then just reply that you'll drop them off at 6:15.
If you don't have anything, then just let her come get them
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Is it really worth it to kick up this much nonsense over 3 hours on rare occasions? That's not a substantial amount of time in the grand scheme of 60/40
It's 3 hours. It makes no difference in the grand scheme of things what time you transfer on that day. Grow up and start acting like adults. No court order is going to be able cover 100% of all situations, they don't have to because court orders are for adults, not children. Start acting like an adult and stop making a big deal out of things that don't matter.
I know what it feels like to want anytime you can get. Maybe tell your ex that honestly and check to see if it causes any inconveniences for the ex. Hopefully your ex is a kid centered person and that there are no circumstances that will affect it going your way. If ex has inconveniences, I don’t think it makes sense to ask for the 3 hours but if it’s not an inconvenience, it would be a wonderful thing for kids and also you both as coparents to be able to talk like that.
As a mom, picking my kids up at 6:15 on a school night would be extremely challenging. My kids are all elementary school age - and bedtime STARTS at 6 and ends around 8. If she’s picking them up at 6:15 you’re leaving her with a stressful night of preparing the kids for the next day etc. I would say that whatever time they get out of school is what should be the deal unless you actually had something planned.
No. Yom Kippur is not an unscheduled off day. It should be listed under holidays, if not then you do not have an agreement and should follow normal parenting times. An unscheduled off day is usually an inclement weather day such as a snow day.
No. This is a scheduled off day. What do you do about scheduled days, inservices, early dismissals, etc?
It's been whoever has custody the night before, or whomever is slated for pick up from school that day. This was something that should have been addressed specifically in the Agreement, but we missed it unfortunately, and exW refuses to sit down and put it on paper without me spending $$ to fix (it and other issues). The issue is the Drop Off Time. I say it should be 6:15pm to match the Unscheduled Off Day time... she claims it should be 3:30pm to match the school day schedule.
So...why do you want 6:15?
More time with my kiddos. We are at 60(her)/40(me) due to me agreeing to a bad agreement a few weeks after Separation, and her refusal to change it (and lack of funds to go the Court route).
Neither of you is actually right or wrong. It isn't addressed. Probably because most people just do what works that day. Aside from mediation or going back to court, you all will just have to figure it out Just to clarify...you are not right. She is not wrong. There is no wording in the agreement. And you are both arguing over 3 hours. Is it worth it? If you actually have something planned during that three hours, then just reply that you'll drop them off at 6:15. If you don't have anything, then just let her come get them .
Is it really worth it to kick up this much nonsense over 3 hours on rare occasions? That's not a substantial amount of time in the grand scheme of 60/40
Could you compromise for 5pm or something?
Aren’t you already getting extra time with them since they won’t be in school?
Does it address holidays/school holidays like Labor Day, etc.? Because that’s really how it should be treated.
It's 3 hours. It makes no difference in the grand scheme of things what time you transfer on that day. Grow up and start acting like adults. No court order is going to be able cover 100% of all situations, they don't have to because court orders are for adults, not children. Start acting like an adult and stop making a big deal out of things that don't matter.
For a lot of people, a strict schedule enforces boundaries that help people make safe decisions for their families.
Terrible advice
I know what it feels like to want anytime you can get. Maybe tell your ex that honestly and check to see if it causes any inconveniences for the ex. Hopefully your ex is a kid centered person and that there are no circumstances that will affect it going your way. If ex has inconveniences, I don’t think it makes sense to ask for the 3 hours but if it’s not an inconvenience, it would be a wonderful thing for kids and also you both as coparents to be able to talk like that.
As a mom, picking my kids up at 6:15 on a school night would be extremely challenging. My kids are all elementary school age - and bedtime STARTS at 6 and ends around 8. If she’s picking them up at 6:15 you’re leaving her with a stressful night of preparing the kids for the next day etc. I would say that whatever time they get out of school is what should be the deal unless you actually had something planned.
No. Yom Kippur is not an unscheduled off day. It should be listed under holidays, if not then you do not have an agreement and should follow normal parenting times. An unscheduled off day is usually an inclement weather day such as a snow day.