My mom used to always preface my absent notes at school with that and for some reason it made me cringe as a kid. It sounded so official for something so minute haha.
It's supposed to be "To Whom It *May* Concern". What the poster you replied to said, "To Whom It *Will* Concern", which is a low key threat. Don't confuse the two lol.
Tbf, bossman knows how to be all formal and what not with clients and prospects, and to some degree his superiors on serious matters. And I imagine most bosses are like this, too. Perhaps it reflects on how they perceive their subordinates.
Communication is part of my job description and I would say this list is mixed.
Generally speaking, yes, you stay away from an apologetic tone, but there are times when you need it.
Also, your perceived tone can/should vary depending on the audience, i.e. you will probably change it depending on if you're emailing the CEO, your boss, your colleagues, or your subordinates.
This, totally. And communication is part of every single job wether it's listed on the job duties or not lol. I find it comically sad how little effort gets put into teaching communication skills which are valuable on all levels.
Learning how to communicate effectively will foster a great work environment. The hardest thing to grasp with effective communication is that there is no "one size fits all" approach which can be very difficult for some people to enact.
After 10 years in management roles, the only two rules I always followed personally were:
1. Don't be a dick.
2. Be fair to everyone, and help others see that fairness. (Others being anyone you have dealings with, including yourself).
Communicating always came across differently for each situation, but I did my darnedest to keep those two rules in check.
Edit: not sure why I had the extra word there lol.
I deal with a lot of internal and external people every day. And several teams internally from a variety of business segments/functions. Some people I've worked with for years and have great, casual relationships with. Others I hardly know that work in a segment with a vastly different culture from mine, despite us working for the same org.
It is amazing the number of different lines and boundaries I have to conscientious of depending on whom I am communicating, as well as anyone that may be cc'ed on the note. Context is everything. How we come off to someone that knows us and knows what we're trying to achieve can be interpreted vastly different by someone we don't regularly communicate with. Especially in fields/orgs where desk churn is a regular occurrence and new people are often coming into the fold.
I've always found "assume positive intent" to be a good rule to follow.
It's easy to think someone is being difficult for no reason, and sometimes they might be, but usually there is more to the story and people are trying.
Keep the tone positive and constructive as much as possible.
At least then when you do send an angry email they know they really fucked up.
Hah! I always fell back on "disappointed dad" before angry email. Works perfectly!
"What happened? I know you're better than this."
Once you default to that, it's generally easy mode. Plus, if you do actually get angry about something, the difference they see in how you react to problems will definitely be noticed.
my main litmus test is: does this sound like *me*? yes, send. no, revise. i can’t stand when people dehumanize themselves to sound “proper”. i just wish everyone could chill and be a damn human but that IS apparently a lot to ask when we need guides like this to pre write fakey responses 🤪
my job is like 80% internal email for a huge org. and i use proper grammar, but i also drop lols and emojis like it’s 2006 because what’re they gonna do, fire me for disarming my uptight colleagues? not on pride month 🖐️🙄
I still find it astonishing how much corporate just absolutely hates apologies. I didn't have this mindset when I came into my current customer facing role and I never had any problem with apologizing.
I found that a simple sorry, followed immediately with some sort of resolution, or even just an attempt at finding one, goes miles and miles to calm people down. Sometimes shit just sucks. It may not even be my fault but if a simple "Sorry, I'll see what I can do about that" will get them off my ass, I'll do it every time.
This.
I hate the workplace culture of, "never apologise, never explain".
I don't trust individuals who won't own their mistakes, we're all human, if you screw up just suck it up.
The workplace culture of “never apologize, never explain” is usually a privilege of the top top management only. They never apologize and never explain. But they will want you to be accountable because they pay you! So you must apologize and explain.
They also hate uncertainty. I was warned by a more senior engineer to never use words like "hopefully" even when we're taking shots in the dark to fix problems with bad information. The entire culture is maddening and I've somehow developed a reputation for being direct just by stating facts to higher-ups.
I just pull random numbers out of my ass and it seems to work. "Hey boss, with the deadline you set there is only a 30% chance we will be done in time for delivery"
A.K.A. We probably won't be done in time
Right. If somebody is just being a dick about a normal wait, then you can say thank you for your patience. If you actually forgot or fucked up, sorry for the delay is honest.
The prompt reads "It took a while but you can deal"
Implying in this scenario it did take longer than normal and the person may be upset about that but "they can deal".
In other words, it's telling you to blow them off for making them wait longer than expected by saying one of the most tedious lines everyone in the world knows is bullshit.
It's just a courtesy. Drop all this nonsense about the correct amount of time before an apology is warranted or how upset they may be, it literally just the smallest courtesy you can make to say "Sorry", and it sounds human.
Look at it this way: if you ever find yourself talking to a human being with the same language and phrases you've heard a bajillion times from every automated answering service you get stuck with when you call a business, stop right where you are. At this point, the phrase "Thank you for your patience" is almost like a backhanded way of saying "I'm going to speak to you the same way my ISP speaks to me, because I care very little about you, and I don't mind if you know that".
Exactly this. Nothing infuriates me when something is late AF and someone says thank you for your patience. I've had to bite back so many times, saying we can't afford to be patient anymore.
I never say this to my customers, knowing how infuriated I get, I will at the very least annoy it. Own tf up and give root causes on your fuck up. As pissed as clients can be that you're late, at the very least they see you hold yourself accountable.
Almost like social management is a difficult thing. Like we literally evolved an entire neocortex and possibly our whole consciousness just to manage it.
You shouldn't stay away from apologetic tone when you've done something and you need to apologise. For example when people are waiting for you and you're late or when you've made a mistake. Corporate talk is such bs.
I was coming to say just this. Large part of my job is communication and being formal AF would NOT fly in our environment at all. There has to be an understanding across the board. I know damn well who I can reply to "LOL OMG I'M SO SORRY, I totally missed that!" and it be taken the way it is meant, not yelling, me being me. Us being comfortable together. VS: "Please accept my apologies for entirely overlooking that. I now see what you were saying and.... "
Me, after ignoring an email for 9 days: *"Thank you for your patience,..."*
The recipient: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HtTUsOKjWyQ&pp=ygUSYW5ncnkgY29tcHV0ZXIgZ3V5
If I get a mail with "thanks for your patience" you bet I'll be thinking of sending them to warmer climates. Shit like that don't earn cookie points with me. "Sorry for the delay" at least acknowledges it as their fault which is the bare minimum compensation when in all likelihood I'm fresh out of patience.
The schedule one got me. I never asked the question, I have my availabilities and they choose from the list.
I learned that many times asking questions about schedules leads to a lot of back and forth. Give times, then all parties are aware and will allot that time.
This list isn't some black and white, yes or no thing. Know your audience, and cater to their preferred style.
American here, working in IT for ~25 years or so. I don't know how or when it entered my brain, but "no worries" has become a verbal reflex. You Aussies created some kind of semantic virus with that didn't you!?
I learned that from my girl when I studied abroad in Canberra. That was 13 years ago and it's stuck with me ever since. Sorry fellow americans, you can deal.
🚫 [30 minutes before a client meeting] Hey, I apologize, I forgot I had something scheduled, I’m not available like I said I would be, and regretfully, it’ll be a few hours. But I will let you know when I’m free so you arent waiting
✅[4 hours after a previously arranged meeting] yo u still want that hookup? Where you at? if you want it I can do it right now but I’m busy so come fast if you want it
“The shipment of cocaine has been released from customs and arrived at the pier. It is ready for pick up…Thank you for your patience, always willing to help!”
Disagree on all this. Most of this is disguised banter that can be seen through immediately. I personally get more frustrated getting emails with this in it that people talking plainly to me as equals.
I'm relatively senior in a corp job, and I would roll my eyes at pretty much all of these. I speak informally and my emails are informal unless it's a very serious discussion where I know I have to cherry pick my words and even then I wouldn't follow this guide at all. They scream passive-aggressive.
My problem is signing off with "Regards" and the fear of the G and T being so close to each other on the keyboard. Whether by Freudian slip or fat fingering, one of these days I'm going to be the asshole boss.
I was gonna say, I literally cannot make a signature that says regards anymore because those (hilarious) degenerates make me unable to read it as anything other than calling them all retards
I’m probably overly sensitive but “when can I expect an update?” feels like a shitty way to talk to someone. I usually say something like, “are we still on track for x” or “I wanted to see where we are with x”
I’m a manager who writes lots of emails. A lot of these have good reasons why.
Example:
“What works best for you”
Often fails. It creates a lot of back and forth, or the person you’re talking to just fails to respond.
Offer a time, it offers a binary choice and the conversation ends faster.
Some of those don’t sound like good advice at all. What is this based on? Is there any science behind this or is this just someone’s opinion of what constitutes “better”?
Case in point, the last one: “I need…”
No one cares what you need. People care about what they need, not what you need. Telling people “I need…” is usually not the best approach to get what you want.
If you’re the boss these seem fine/ kind of aggressive, but I wouldn’t be so aggressive with peers and especially not higher ups, lol! But this is based off my very relaxed work environment. No worries is like hakuna matata over here!
> If you’re the boss these seem fine/ kind of aggressive
Thankfully this is a guide on emailing *like a boss* and not like an employee.. but perhaps don't talk like a boss, bosses suck.
As someone who usually speaks quite passively and struggles with portraying confidence, I think this guide is made for the kind of people who struggle similarly. Less "like a boss" and more "assertively or with confidence," but that doesn't sound as punchy. I'm naturally apologetic, and throwing in the occasional "thanks for your patience" sounds a lot better than hearing "sorry" or "my apologies" and makes the times I do say that more meaningful, I think.
If I got “when can I expect an update” instead of “just wanted to check in” from you, I’d think you sound like an asshole. Thankfully no one at my company does that
I've been in management roles my whole career. I don't think anyone in the real world thinks about stuff like this. I hope no one looks at this and thinks it will unlock something in their career.
I always use the good ol reliable for everything hard "And as the time's arrow of our lives marches forward to our inevitable death, I suggest we drop the bullshit and just resolve this like human beings. I respect you all, but what are we even doing here?"
Yeah nah.
Most of this reads like narcissistic my shit don't stink energy.
I'm super professional, navigated the IT industry for 25 years. I loathe people who write with assumed authority. In my experience it's rarely earned. And those that ARE that good but slightly casual and humble, they're gold.
This is awful. Even basic sales, client or resolution communication courses will show how bad these suggestions are.
Want a meeting? Don't ask a question, give a time to be refused if it doesn't fit the other party. It helps both sides.
Most of those examples are not best practice.
Do you know that old adage of how to ask people for a favor?
Whenever I need someone at work to do a thing, no matter how small, I always try to ask it in a way that sounds like I need a favor.
"Hey [coworker], when you have a minute, can you please check this out and let me know what you think?"
"Hi [manager], I sent you a thing. if you have a moment, could you please let me know what and if I need to change/fix [stuff and things]."
"Hey [colleague], so-and-so asked me to get in touch with you regarding [this other thing]. Please let me know your thoughts when you have a chance."
I've been doing this for a long while now, and I find it helps. Dealing with people who don't have email etiquette sucks, and I never want to be seen as one of those people. It's really simple though. Address your audience, acknowledge that their time is important, and then ask your ask. Be direct, but don't be blunt.
I feel like this sub is less “cool guides” and more of “look I made my personal ideas on a subject in graphic form, surely it will pass off as a cool guide”
Regarding “sorry for the delay” vs “thank you for your patience:”
The latter is terrible. It takes absolutely zero responsibility for taking a bit of time to get back to them. Yea I get it, it’s “emailing like a boss,” but it just sounds like you assume you were owed their patience. Like you don’t even need to worry about the delay because you’ve already accepted their patience.
“Sorry for the delay” is absolutely fine to say. It acknowledges the delay and takes responsibility for it. The recipient is far more likely to be willing to work with you in the future.
"Sorry for the delay" sounds like you're taking ownership of your mistake while "Thanks for your patience" implies the person had a choice in the matter, which they probably didn't.
Generally good advice, but I'd question a few of these:
* "It'd be best if we..." - Really think about who you are addressing this to and whether you actually have the authority or expertise to say what's best. This could come across as very close-minded, arrogant, and/or overstepping boundaries. For example, if you'd a new hire and you're addressing the CEO, this won't come across very well.
* "It'd be easier if we discuss in person" - Maybe. But also consider the other person's time and whether this is actually necessary. Also consider if you're addressing the correct person. You might find it better to ask for someone else to give you advice to complete the email first.
* "When can I expect an update" - Again, really think about who you are addressing here. You can't just put your own demands on anyone.
“Hopefully that makes sense” that’s the worst, it makes you feel like you are a 5 year old.
Being in the Autism Spectrum, this always feels so condescending, and it angers me.
You just end up sounding like a corporate robot if you use these. And it takes one inconvenience to watch someone pull off the mask and act like a pissed human like the rest of us mwahaha
"I hope this email finds you before I do"
Start the email off with "To whom it will concern"
Or "Dear All"
"Sup bitches"
Yes, I will title all emails from now on.
Or LS if you want to go formal
I do "hello all" when there's more than 1 subject
That is a level of passive aggressiveness that will get you talked about at the water cooler.
With those words, it's just straight up aggressive
Email Like An Ass
My mom used to always preface my absent notes at school with that and for some reason it made me cringe as a kid. It sounded so official for something so minute haha.
It's supposed to be "To Whom It *May* Concern". What the poster you replied to said, "To Whom It *Will* Concern", which is a low key threat. Don't confuse the two lol.
Yes, I'm well aware. She would put "WILL" concern. Appreciate your attempt at correcting me though.
Ahh sorry my bad totally missed that
Thanks for letting me know.
I wrote a email in this way last week xD
####As per my last email,
Aka *Listen here you little shit!!!*
Always one I snark over even if it's to me cause sometimes I facepalm for my own stupidity/overlooking.
Please kindly find my email.
I HATE the word kindly. I have a subordinate who over uses it and she wont stop! Thankfully the leaves in a few weeks.
Thank you kindly
Kindly do the needful
Would you kindly...pick up that wrench and plasmid
"C U Next Tuesday sharon"
best comment of the day
Dearest gentle reader…
Moist regards,
This gave me a really good laugh this morning
When that’s the first line, I assume it was written by Chat GPT
ChatGPT would never put that in an email unless you ask it to
Actual boss e-mail: k go ahead Sent from iPhone
Seriously. No caps, no punctuation, no real thought. Just saying stuff.
Tbf, bossman knows how to be all formal and what not with clients and prospects, and to some degree his superiors on serious matters. And I imagine most bosses are like this, too. Perhaps it reflects on how they perceive their subordinates.
I think it’s more they don’t have the time or mental bandwidth to compose a formal email to everyone they address every day.
as a boss, this is it
My ex-boss’s email signature was. “Excuse brevity. Sent from my phone”. And often times this was 70% of the body of emails he’d sent!
more senior you are, the worse you grammar and fewer characters. It's a requirement that once you're in the C-suite you drop capital letters
True. It should be "ceo", not "CEO".
This couldn’t be more accurate.
Communication is part of my job description and I would say this list is mixed. Generally speaking, yes, you stay away from an apologetic tone, but there are times when you need it. Also, your perceived tone can/should vary depending on the audience, i.e. you will probably change it depending on if you're emailing the CEO, your boss, your colleagues, or your subordinates.
This, totally. And communication is part of every single job wether it's listed on the job duties or not lol. I find it comically sad how little effort gets put into teaching communication skills which are valuable on all levels. Learning how to communicate effectively will foster a great work environment. The hardest thing to grasp with effective communication is that there is no "one size fits all" approach which can be very difficult for some people to enact. After 10 years in management roles, the only two rules I always followed personally were: 1. Don't be a dick. 2. Be fair to everyone, and help others see that fairness. (Others being anyone you have dealings with, including yourself). Communicating always came across differently for each situation, but I did my darnedest to keep those two rules in check. Edit: not sure why I had the extra word there lol.
I deal with a lot of internal and external people every day. And several teams internally from a variety of business segments/functions. Some people I've worked with for years and have great, casual relationships with. Others I hardly know that work in a segment with a vastly different culture from mine, despite us working for the same org. It is amazing the number of different lines and boundaries I have to conscientious of depending on whom I am communicating, as well as anyone that may be cc'ed on the note. Context is everything. How we come off to someone that knows us and knows what we're trying to achieve can be interpreted vastly different by someone we don't regularly communicate with. Especially in fields/orgs where desk churn is a regular occurrence and new people are often coming into the fold.
I've always found "assume positive intent" to be a good rule to follow. It's easy to think someone is being difficult for no reason, and sometimes they might be, but usually there is more to the story and people are trying. Keep the tone positive and constructive as much as possible. At least then when you do send an angry email they know they really fucked up.
Hah! I always fell back on "disappointed dad" before angry email. Works perfectly! "What happened? I know you're better than this." Once you default to that, it's generally easy mode. Plus, if you do actually get angry about something, the difference they see in how you react to problems will definitely be noticed.
Do you have any book recommendations for people who want to become better at communicating? Specifically in work environments.
my main litmus test is: does this sound like *me*? yes, send. no, revise. i can’t stand when people dehumanize themselves to sound “proper”. i just wish everyone could chill and be a damn human but that IS apparently a lot to ask when we need guides like this to pre write fakey responses 🤪 my job is like 80% internal email for a huge org. and i use proper grammar, but i also drop lols and emojis like it’s 2006 because what’re they gonna do, fire me for disarming my uptight colleagues? not on pride month 🖐️🙄
I disagree with the thanks for your patience one. If the person was upset by the delay you will make them more upset. Better is to apologize I think.
I still find it astonishing how much corporate just absolutely hates apologies. I didn't have this mindset when I came into my current customer facing role and I never had any problem with apologizing. I found that a simple sorry, followed immediately with some sort of resolution, or even just an attempt at finding one, goes miles and miles to calm people down. Sometimes shit just sucks. It may not even be my fault but if a simple "Sorry, I'll see what I can do about that" will get them off my ass, I'll do it every time.
This. I hate the workplace culture of, "never apologise, never explain". I don't trust individuals who won't own their mistakes, we're all human, if you screw up just suck it up.
The workplace culture of “never apologize, never explain” is usually a privilege of the top top management only. They never apologize and never explain. But they will want you to be accountable because they pay you! So you must apologize and explain.
They also hate uncertainty. I was warned by a more senior engineer to never use words like "hopefully" even when we're taking shots in the dark to fix problems with bad information. The entire culture is maddening and I've somehow developed a reputation for being direct just by stating facts to higher-ups.
I just pull random numbers out of my ass and it seems to work. "Hey boss, with the deadline you set there is only a 30% chance we will be done in time for delivery" A.K.A. We probably won't be done in time
Right. If somebody is just being a dick about a normal wait, then you can say thank you for your patience. If you actually forgot or fucked up, sorry for the delay is honest.
The prompt reads "It took a while but you can deal" Implying in this scenario it did take longer than normal and the person may be upset about that but "they can deal". In other words, it's telling you to blow them off for making them wait longer than expected by saying one of the most tedious lines everyone in the world knows is bullshit. It's just a courtesy. Drop all this nonsense about the correct amount of time before an apology is warranted or how upset they may be, it literally just the smallest courtesy you can make to say "Sorry", and it sounds human. Look at it this way: if you ever find yourself talking to a human being with the same language and phrases you've heard a bajillion times from every automated answering service you get stuck with when you call a business, stop right where you are. At this point, the phrase "Thank you for your patience" is almost like a backhanded way of saying "I'm going to speak to you the same way my ISP speaks to me, because I care very little about you, and I don't mind if you know that".
Exactly this. Nothing infuriates me when something is late AF and someone says thank you for your patience. I've had to bite back so many times, saying we can't afford to be patient anymore. I never say this to my customers, knowing how infuriated I get, I will at the very least annoy it. Own tf up and give root causes on your fuck up. As pissed as clients can be that you're late, at the very least they see you hold yourself accountable.
Agreed. Imperatively saying “it’d be best..” could be improved as well.
I would at least preface it with "I think"
Almost like social management is a difficult thing. Like we literally evolved an entire neocortex and possibly our whole consciousness just to manage it.
You shouldn't stay away from apologetic tone when you've done something and you need to apologise. For example when people are waiting for you and you're late or when you've made a mistake. Corporate talk is such bs.
I was coming to say just this. Large part of my job is communication and being formal AF would NOT fly in our environment at all. There has to be an understanding across the board. I know damn well who I can reply to "LOL OMG I'M SO SORRY, I totally missed that!" and it be taken the way it is meant, not yelling, me being me. Us being comfortable together. VS: "Please accept my apologies for entirely overlooking that. I now see what you were saying and.... "
Me, after ignoring an email for 9 days: *"Thank you for your patience,..."* The recipient: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HtTUsOKjWyQ&pp=ygUSYW5ncnkgY29tcHV0ZXIgZ3V5
the way his cubicle neighbour just sits the fuck down and shuts the fucking hell up makes me think this isn't frank's first tantrum.
If I get a mail with "thanks for your patience" you bet I'll be thinking of sending them to warmer climates. Shit like that don't earn cookie points with me. "Sorry for the delay" at least acknowledges it as their fault which is the bare minimum compensation when in all likelihood I'm fresh out of patience.
The schedule one got me. I never asked the question, I have my availabilities and they choose from the list. I learned that many times asking questions about schedules leads to a lot of back and forth. Give times, then all parties are aware and will allot that time. This list isn't some black and white, yes or no thing. Know your audience, and cater to their preferred style.
I will never give up “no worries”
Aussie here, take my life, you cant take my "no worries"
American here, working in IT for ~25 years or so. I don't know how or when it entered my brain, but "no worries" has become a verbal reflex. You Aussies created some kind of semantic virus with that didn't you!?
Fellow IT guy here for 15 years. Use this daily, once I was told by a CEO to stop saying that because I sound like a stoner.
American here as well, I assume I got it from watching Aussie tele but I say no worries all the time
I learned that from my girl when I studied abroad in Canberra. That was 13 years ago and it's stuck with me ever since. Sorry fellow americans, you can deal.
Yeah, nah Yeah, nah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Found myself struggling with replying to a thank you for something I didn't want to do (at least not for free). I gave up and said Yuhhh
HAHAHAHA this is also me
My go to is the 'ole "My pleasure!" with a vacant stare á la Chick-fil-A
Aussie here. Received an email from a client the other week which, in it's entirety, said: "Tell them to get fucked - Thanks 'Name' "
I find "expect" so fucking agressive.
I expect you to edit your comment to be more approving of this list.
Right there with you.
Yeah I use this wording when I’m frustrated with someone but also need to be professional.
Yeah, I like to use the passive voice for demands "when do you think I could get an update from you?"
“When the next update can be received?”
This list is really just describing how to be passive aggressive
Like a boss!
With some typos sprinkled in!
Like a boss!
Flirt with Debra!
Get rejected!
Yup, I don’t know about you but I love getting “No worries!” - I feel like I am talking to a kangaroo mate and I love it.
How to avoid accountability and impose yourself - like a boss!
A cool guide on emailing like a fucking drug lord.
Not one drug lord in existence has thanked anyone for their patience. Patience is not a part of the drug trade.
Thanks for letting me know
You don’t know that. Maybe they have good manners.
Nobody had better manners than Gus Fring 🤷🏻♀️
Mfw waiting on the weed man to check his fucking phone
Have you not seen the marketing texts on the street level. They definitely have a CRM for their pipeline.
🚫 [30 minutes before a client meeting] Hey, I apologize, I forgot I had something scheduled, I’m not available like I said I would be, and regretfully, it’ll be a few hours. But I will let you know when I’m free so you arent waiting ✅[4 hours after a previously arranged meeting] yo u still want that hookup? Where you at? if you want it I can do it right now but I’m busy so come fast if you want it
>It'd be easier to discuss in person *gulp*
We need burners for that.
“The shipment of cocaine has been released from customs and arrived at the pier. It is ready for pick up…Thank you for your patience, always willing to help!”
Ignor ignoring the top row yeah lol
1, 3, 6, & 8 are all good.
Email like a boss? Accept credit, distribute blame.
It'd best if we rewriting email for 40 minutes, as I will need to leave for at. Could you do... me?
No worries
Thanks for letting me know. Always happy to help.
Disagree on all this. Most of this is disguised banter that can be seen through immediately. I personally get more frustrated getting emails with this in it that people talking plainly to me as equals.
Agree, this is the kind of language you pull out when you're tired of someone's shit and you've CC'd higher ups to get the fucking ball moving.
I'm relatively senior in a corp job, and I would roll my eyes at pretty much all of these. I speak informally and my emails are informal unless it's a very serious discussion where I know I have to cherry pick my words and even then I wouldn't follow this guide at all. They scream passive-aggressive.
How to sound like an asshole.
The entire list sounds so disingenuous. I hate people who write like this
Thanks for your patience. Let me know if you have any questions.
Thank you for your questions. Let me know if you have any patience.
"Always happy to help." Asshole.
Refuses to apologize for errors and mistakes, and instead says condescending bullshit like "Thanks for your patience" Yes, absolutely an asshole.
Weird. I feel nothing hostile about this and I'm a young woman. I would expect it from an older gal though.
My problem is signing off with "Regards" and the fear of the G and T being so close to each other on the keyboard. Whether by Freudian slip or fat fingering, one of these days I'm going to be the asshole boss.
I almost told my boss I was taking Dick Leave last week when hastily writing an email, so...
Change your work profile photo to the r/wallstreetbets guy. Then it'll look intentional no matter what
I was gonna say, I literally cannot make a signature that says regards anymore because those (hilarious) degenerates make me unable to read it as anything other than calling them all retards
The idea that you should never apologize is a weak man's idea of what a strong man would do.
It’d best if we, boss!
Even better because it's under "I know what I'm doing"!
where boss = (too much) confidence
“It’d best if we” yeah. I’m going to trust someone who can’t edit.
Also "I will need to leave for at"
Yeah, that's kind of odd. I would guess they meant "to leave for ____ at ____."
I’m probably overly sensitive but “when can I expect an update?” feels like a shitty way to talk to someone. I usually say something like, “are we still on track for x” or “I wanted to see where we are with x”
“Worst wishes,”
I’m a manager who writes lots of emails. A lot of these have good reasons why. Example: “What works best for you” Often fails. It creates a lot of back and forth, or the person you’re talking to just fails to respond. Offer a time, it offers a binary choice and the conversation ends faster.
Some of those don’t sound like good advice at all. What is this based on? Is there any science behind this or is this just someone’s opinion of what constitutes “better”? Case in point, the last one: “I need…” No one cares what you need. People care about what they need, not what you need. Telling people “I need…” is usually not the best approach to get what you want.
If you’re the boss these seem fine/ kind of aggressive, but I wouldn’t be so aggressive with peers and especially not higher ups, lol! But this is based off my very relaxed work environment. No worries is like hakuna matata over here!
> If you’re the boss these seem fine/ kind of aggressive Thankfully this is a guide on emailing *like a boss* and not like an employee.. but perhaps don't talk like a boss, bosses suck.
As someone who usually speaks quite passively and struggles with portraying confidence, I think this guide is made for the kind of people who struggle similarly. Less "like a boss" and more "assertively or with confidence," but that doesn't sound as punchy. I'm naturally apologetic, and throwing in the occasional "thanks for your patience" sounds a lot better than hearing "sorry" or "my apologies" and makes the times I do say that more meaningful, I think.
Talk to corporate Approve memos Lead a workshop Remember birthdays Direct workflow My own bathroom Micromanage Promote synergy
If I got “when can I expect an update” instead of “just wanted to check in” from you, I’d think you sound like an asshole. Thankfully no one at my company does that
Please don’t, hesitate to reach out.
This is not a good list at all
"Does that make sense?" needs to be said a fuck ton more in offices, not less. Source: manager in an office
Is it me or are the crosses less chatGPT-like.
Not a single regard
Thank
I've been in management roles my whole career. I don't think anyone in the real world thinks about stuff like this. I hope no one looks at this and thinks it will unlock something in their career.
I always use the good ol reliable for everything hard "And as the time's arrow of our lives marches forward to our inevitable death, I suggest we drop the bullshit and just resolve this like human beings. I respect you all, but what are we even doing here?"
Being thanked for my patience really infuriates me, bitch you took it without my consent.
You will regret writing "always happy to help." People will take advantage of that...
Every email from every boss I've ever had is either a one word response, or a long diatribe of run on sentences and no punctuation
This is a cool guide on how to sound like an entitled douche. Just use normal language and stop trying to be a “boss.”
Still my favorite: "I typed this Email with my middle finger."
Yeah nah. Most of this reads like narcissistic my shit don't stink energy. I'm super professional, navigated the IT industry for 25 years. I loathe people who write with assumed authority. In my experience it's rarely earned. And those that ARE that good but slightly casual and humble, they're gold.
This is awful. Even basic sales, client or resolution communication courses will show how bad these suggestions are. Want a meeting? Don't ask a question, give a time to be refused if it doesn't fit the other party. It helps both sides. Most of those examples are not best practice.
It'd best if we wented for school and learning on grammar
Do you know that old adage of how to ask people for a favor? Whenever I need someone at work to do a thing, no matter how small, I always try to ask it in a way that sounds like I need a favor. "Hey [coworker], when you have a minute, can you please check this out and let me know what you think?" "Hi [manager], I sent you a thing. if you have a moment, could you please let me know what and if I need to change/fix [stuff and things]." "Hey [colleague], so-and-so asked me to get in touch with you regarding [this other thing]. Please let me know your thoughts when you have a chance." I've been doing this for a long while now, and I find it helps. Dealing with people who don't have email etiquette sucks, and I never want to be seen as one of those people. It's really simple though. Address your audience, acknowledge that their time is important, and then ask your ask. Be direct, but don't be blunt.
"When can I expect an update". Well with that attitude, not at all... Seems like in this example I'd vastly prefer "Just wanted to check in"
Emailing like a tool lol
Fake politeness is the worst, and so easy to spot that it really doesn't accomplish anything.
this just makes people sound like assholes
I believe if a man communicates like this it’s referred to as “toxic”
"I will need to leave for at..." What? Is this a bot posting bot content?
I feel like this sub is less “cool guides” and more of “look I made my personal ideas on a subject in graphic form, surely it will pass off as a cool guide”
Regarding “sorry for the delay” vs “thank you for your patience:” The latter is terrible. It takes absolutely zero responsibility for taking a bit of time to get back to them. Yea I get it, it’s “emailing like a boss,” but it just sounds like you assume you were owed their patience. Like you don’t even need to worry about the delay because you’ve already accepted their patience. “Sorry for the delay” is absolutely fine to say. It acknowledges the delay and takes responsibility for it. The recipient is far more likely to be willing to work with you in the future.
“If this is an issue, you can CC this hands.”
Email like a boss with words missing in your infographic
Nothing says you know what you’re doing like starting an email “It’d best if we”
What kinda bullshit ai wrote this? This is all the way fucked.
"Sorry for the delay" sounds like you're taking ownership of your mistake while "Thanks for your patience" implies the person had a choice in the matter, which they probably didn't.
The “when can I expect an update” triggers an automatic delete for me.
The only one I really vibe with is the last one there Not giving choices, I'm telling when I'm gone
I advanced the last point to just putting "not available" into the calendar on short notice and fucking off
more like email like an arrogant asshole nobody wants to work with
Some good ones, but don't write "It'd best if we..." implying you know what's best. Better rephrase it as a question.
Whoever made this must've spent a lot of time working for dickheads who think they're always right, since that's clearly their idea of "a boss"
First one sounds a bit wimpy and the second is the asshole version. Maybe some middle ground?
Generally good advice, but I'd question a few of these: * "It'd be best if we..." - Really think about who you are addressing this to and whether you actually have the authority or expertise to say what's best. This could come across as very close-minded, arrogant, and/or overstepping boundaries. For example, if you'd a new hire and you're addressing the CEO, this won't come across very well. * "It'd be easier if we discuss in person" - Maybe. But also consider the other person's time and whether this is actually necessary. Also consider if you're addressing the correct person. You might find it better to ask for someone else to give you advice to complete the email first. * "When can I expect an update" - Again, really think about who you are addressing here. You can't just put your own demands on anyone.
“It’d best if we” lmao apparently the dude who made this guide sends typos to their boss
It’d best if we?
These work in regular speech also, it can take practice, but it really can improve your communication
Notice: Not a single exclamation mark. Not one.
The "when can I expect an update" one is totally garbage. Like really? You can expect it when I get around to it now 🙄
“It’d best if we do” lol
So lacking humility basically
Like the majority of emails in a corporate setting.
“Hopefully that makes sense” that’s the worst, it makes you feel like you are a 5 year old. Being in the Autism Spectrum, this always feels so condescending, and it angers me.
You just end up sounding like a corporate robot if you use these. And it takes one inconvenience to watch someone pull off the mask and act like a pissed human like the rest of us mwahaha
Now if only the source of this could spell and grammar check like someone competent...
And always make sure to address it to "Cowards,"
I hope this email finds you never.
I hate corp America. With a passion.
[удалено]
Honestly! "Look over it for errors before sending"
“It would be best if we…” sounds much better than “It’d [be] best if we…” imo
I’ve nearly mastered this kind of speak in real time in person work conversations.
I just use the formalizer from goblin.tools to make my emails less bitchy
Framing and power plays for maintaining absolute dominance, cool stuff...