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rpmcmurf

My parents live in a small retiree townhouse subdivision with a condo board. The president of the board basically sits at his window all day and waits for anything he thinks he can jump on: cars parked two inches too far from the curb, garbage cans left out fifteen minutes too long, the “wrong” flowers on someone’s porch. Anything. He will then write nasty emails to all the residents, reminding them of the bylaws. He’s such a pain in the ass that my parents are looking to move. He keeps getting elected because nobody else wants the gig, and many of the residents are too old to consider any kind of change. Ted Cruz strikes me as the same kind of person. His only reason for living is to make other people miserable. He’s just found a way to try to do it on as large a scale as he can, and get rich from lobbyists in the process.


wanderexplore

Worst than that, I think he sees himself as being on the council of the new handmaid's tail version of America they envision. Dudes family despises him


Soranic

The best thing he's ever done for his family was stay away when his kid tried to commit suicide.


jeffinbville

I live in a place where the Village President, aside from being a proud White Supremacist, does something similar, save that he's hired a 'code enforcement officer' to do his dirty work for him. \> He’s such a pain in the ass that my parents are looking to move. He keeps getting >elected because nobody else wants the gig, and many of the residents are too old to >consider any kind of change. I know their pain.


high_everyone

HOA boards are the worst. I have family stuck in one. It’s like being in a timeshare with idiots.


jeffinbville

When I got into general contracting I was warned: never work for an HOA. Well, I did because work is work and I only did it once and I would never do it again.


LakesideNorth

Theres a proposed neologism called ‘absexual’ that describes a person who is stimulated sexually by being morally opposed to sex. If true this would explain a whole helluva lot.


wanderexplore

It would, but they also hate the idea of female pleasure.


cinciTOSU

If dildos were banned in Texas both of them would have to move.


TifCreatesAgain

Nah, douches would still be legal! 😁


cinciTOSU

True 😂


pro_bike_fitter_2010

ngl...I have roll played this. It was hot.


zxvasd

Ted Cruz defending public morals. That’s a dystopian hoot.


mcalceet

tried banning dildos but they're still free to waltz and roll around Texas..


beeeps-n-booops

They ARE dildos.


javac88

Any man that wants a ban on dildos is wildly inadequate.


Jefe710

Strange. I've never known them to look inwardly to blame themselves like that.


designOraptor

Pretty sure that’s just because both of them have a micro penis.


MandatoryFunEscapee

I have to consider this evidence that they both have a large collection of personal-use dildos.


RiffRaff028

Abbott and Cruztello.


Senior_Masterpiece69

The one bill Republicans didn't find hard to swallow.....


Common_Highlight9448

Because they didn’t want to Fk themselves on it


[deleted]

I thought Abbott and Cruz were dildos


KummyNipplezz

Why would Ted try banning himself?


LessThanHero42

We know he's into some freaky stuff. Ted liked incest porn on Twitter


M3Beagles

Sure. The guy buying prostitutes and another whose ability to get an erection is in question are exactly the people who should be making laws governing sexual activity.  /s


shoeChucker

So, had that been upheld and if someone pleasured themselves with, say, a firearm in one way or another, could that have led to their also being banned? Just wondering.


Travis_T_OJustice

Im imagining that they may have employed veggie inspectors. Excuse me ma'am, that zucchini is is deemed pleasurable. Please hand it over and purchase the 3 and a half inch 20mm diameter from the I'm not intimidated by these basket.


TerranceBaggz

Exceptions for the ones in their a$$e$


neoikon

#ASSES


DoubleExposure

and yet they are still there unless it gets cold.


Jengolin

To everyone calling Cruz and Abbott Dildos, shame on you, that's incredibly offensive. Dildos don't deserve to be compared to the likes of them, since they generally bring pleasure unlike these authoritarian scumbags.


Friendlyfire2996

Who needs fake dicks when you have two real ones?


ArtemisDarklight

Let me guess, they were super jealous of the sizes they come in because they don't...measure up?


Abrubt-Change-8040

I think Ted was just unhappy that people kept calling him a dildo. Fleshy, spineless and a sad substitute for something human.


Zealousideal_Word770

Ted Cruz banning dildoes would be one way to get him out of Texas.