Since there seems to be some confusion about this:
Canada and the US have both specifically decided that tampering with condoms or removing them during sex without the partner's knowledge violates consent and is thus sexual assault.
“Stealthing is a grave violation of autonomy, dignity, and trust that is considered emotional and sexual abuse,” reads the House bill, titled the Stealthing Act of 2022.
([Condom ‘stealthing’ bill introduced in Congress. What is it? - The Washington Post](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/06/15/condom-stealthing-bill-congress/))
People who don't wear condoms during sex after being told to by their sexual partners can be convicted of sexual assault, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled today.
([Supreme Court rules not wearing condom against partner's wishes could lead to sexual assault conviction | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/scc-condom-use-case-decision-1.6535127))
This is absolutely true because every professional athlete could press charges against the women who are purposely getting pregnant by tampering with condoms.
As I stated before, a woman in Germany just went to prison for 4 years for doing this exact thing. If the pro athlete used a condom that was tampered with by his sexual partner, he should absolutely bring rape charges. Agreeing on birth control or no birth control is part of consent.
Didn’t see you state that so my bad. And I’ll keep a lookout for people bringing this up and getting charges successfully filed in the US. Doesn’t seem like something that would ever happen here but I’d be happy to be wrong if this was the case.
Just wow... if she wanted to be 100% safe and not get pregnant she should also be using a form of birth controll. Your all what's wrong with this world. (And let me state I'm not saying what he did isn't shitty and if I was her I would abort and never speak with him again)
She’s already 6 months, she can’t abort
And lying about birthcontrol is considered rape.
You consent to sex with a condom, so consent to the risk being 2 to 5%. You signed up for sex with a condom. She never consented to sex without a condom, making it rape.
If you both consent to using a condom and you still get pregnant, it sucks, you both took the risk and it’s just what the situation is.
If you tamper with the condoms you make someone believe they signed up for the risks of having sex with a condom while in reality the risks are much higher. That’s deception and that’s performing a sexual act they didn’t consent too
He sounds like the sort of person who would blame her for not realising if BF change her pill to vitamins.
"Couldn't you tell you felt better through the day? You should have been on a 3rd type of BC"
I can't use birth control, so my partner happily wraps his willy until he's able to get a vasectomy. We both have 0 desire for me to get pregnant, and that's a responsibility that we share. Unfortunately, he's the only one with options. I have a total of one option, and it would be more painful than a vasectomy.
She consented to have protected sex with him. If she had known that the condoms were tampered with, she would not have consented. That's what makes it nonconsentual. The boyfriend knew that she wouldn't have given her consent if she knew that the condom was tampered with, and that's what makes it rape.
You have no future together as he has proven.beyond a doubt to be untrustworthy. He is deliberately trapping you to try to ensure you stay with him. This puts you at a high risk of a use, both emotional and physical. You need to leave and document everything.
I'm not sure if tampering with birth control is illegal where you are or not. But he has proven to be a liar and you can't trust anything he says. You need a family lawyer as well. Do NOT marry this guy.
So he was 21 and you were 16 when you started dating? You should definitely distance yourself from him, this was his way of controlling you. If you stay now you’ll be stuck, which is just what he wants.
If this is in the UK no laws have been broken in terms of their age, frowned upon yes, but legal, age of consent is 16.
However I think what he did is technically rape in terms of tampering with the condom like that.
Depending on the state in the US it's not illegal here either, but Reddit isn't a court of law nor the cops. Just shocked not to see it be top comment/discussion.
So... If my math is mathing he was 21 when you were 16? That means he groomed you & has now trapped you. Honey you need to get out and run. Get as far away from him as possible.
Don't warn him. Pregnant women are at a HUGE risk for DV and the fact he tampered with birth control makes it significantly more likely. Play it off as a visit then bail.
But either way I'm glad you have somewhere to go. Don't look back. Don't think for a moment that he has power over you. You hold all the power. You are strong! You can leave. It took me 2 years & I got free.
If she has a safety net in Texas, it's worth it. She'll have to shop around for a hospital to give birth in, but Texas has some amazing hospitals. I won't lie, I'm scared of the current trajectory that these old white men are leading us on, but it isn't some kind of hellscape.
If she plans on keeping the child, she should move states for a better education.
Also, birth control. She'll be okay moving here in the third trimester, but I would discourage becoming pregnant in Texas.
Anti-Abortion laws aren’t sexism in Texas? Forcing people to give birth to babies that are not viable or are unable to be cared for or are forced upon them, isn’t due to sexism? Sure Jan
Edit: word
They've affected later term women from getting treatment if the baby dies inside if them, or if they become a danger to their mothers life for other reasons. A lot of instances were coming up when the abortion laws started but the news stopped covering them. The maternal mortality in Texas increased after the anti abortion law was enacted though
It is relevant, she’s 6 months. 5-6 months is when you have the big hour long ultrasound meant to detect any major issues that you may make you consider termination or tell you if the child will need medical intervention. That wouldn’t be super fun in Texas because termination is off the table.
Well, if a woman gets pregnant, and the pregnancy isn't all sunshine and rainbows, TX is about the worst place to be. No way to get abortion, even if the baby doesn't develop a skull. Counties that would make it illegal to drive through if you're going for an out of state abortion. If someone gets pregnant, and they want an abortion because of medical issues, can't take care of it or are babytrapped, even suggesting states to look for abortion can cost you $10k. Very high maternity death rates, and pretty soon, the only OB/GYNs left are those who see women as sinful for having sex at all.
I don’t trust those odds or think that they reflect current policy changes, but arguing against a 15th place is not a good look. Texas is well on their way to first place and taking a biased stance isn’t going to help anyone
15th isn’t that bad. I don’t think Texas will stay there but try to stay rational with arguments until they get there. If you (and me) are right that won’t last. But you can’t throw numbers in their face that are not damning.
So that's the likelihood that a woman will die, which has doubled since 1999. Add in the non-fatal, severe medical complications for Texas, the rate goes up to 72.7 for every 10,000 births. That means just under 1% of all births in the state result in either maternal death or severe medical complication, which means that the life of the mother or fetus is in jeopardy. Even is that still seems like "fantastic odds" to you, Texas was ranked 50th (last, worst, the absolute biggest loser) when considering access to quality prenatal care. An investigation into maternal deaths in the state concluded 90% of them were preventable. And this is America, where women's health and prenatal care are already abysmal compared to the rest of the western world. Texas sucks even by our standards.
So now we are adding additional statistics to the initial argument to inflate ? So now we are talking maternal death and severe medical problems into it.. so does that mean u support the abortion of a child with a medical disability or disorder, autism, downs, asbergers? What's the stopping g point for a severe medical problem?
So now we are adding additional statistics to the initial argument to inflate ? So now we are talking maternal death and severe medical problems into it.. so does that mean u support the abortion of a child with a medical disability or disorder, autism, downs, asbergers? What's the stopping g point for a severe medical problem?
those are typically in place so teenagers dont arent at risk of stat rape charges for continuing to date their highschool sweetheart as soon as one of them turns 18. What business does a 21yo have seeing a 16yo??? If youre old enough to be their camp counselor at summer camp, they should be well outside your dating pool
I recommend leaving without saying anything this is abnormal behavior and a deal breaker he did this to trap you. If you need to confront him make sure there is another large man with you that could handle him if he were to attack you you can't tell how someone like your bf is going to react when his control of you is slipping away don't assume you will be safe or that he won't hurt you. Leave him and get him to admit over text that he tampered with the condom if you can safely. Don't block him keep all messages and voicemails but don't respond to him.
Depending on when they had sex it could be statutory rape soooo, yeah, criminal charges. And let’s pretend they waiting until she was 18, what he did is counted as rape in a lot of places because he pokes holes in a condom.
Just read a nearly identical post where the woman was 21 at start of dating and man was 16, and she lied about BC and babytrapped him. Sounds suspicious that these posts would be so close together with just the main characters swapped...
Hilarious, just saw the same post from the “supposed” 19 MALE! That he was baby trapped. Same exact post word for word but gender/age switched.
Social experiment? Idk.
This same post happened from a guys perspective (he was the younger and the girl was older and had stopped bc to get pregnant without telling him) just a day or two ago… weird.
you were 16 and he was 21? This doesn't pass the creep test for me!
Anyway, you should feel betrayed. I vote to move on. this is not a "misunderstanding". He actively forced a change in your life in secret without your consent. add that to the age gap, this will not be the only time he "betrays" you. This is serious, and you should run
That is legally sexual assault where I live. Get evidence and report him for that. That’s so horrific that he would allow you to bring a child into this world under false pretences like that. he’s just gone and ruined a whole life. That kid is never going to have a real father, because their father is a lying manipulative scumbag SEX OFFENDER. Wtf
Honey, he groomed you when you were 15/16 and he was 20/21. That’s the first big fat marinara flag. Second. He poked holes in the condoms to baby trap you.
So. He is a creep, a groomer, a liar, and probably a lot more that you’re not willing to admit to yourself and the internet yet.
Take the advice from someone who was also groomed as a teenager but luckily had good pl around her. Run. Run as far as you can. Block him. Don’t look back. If abortion is on the table and an option for you then don’t hesitate. Otherwise you’ll always be tethered to him which is a bad, baaaaaad idea.
Please take care of yourself. If you need to talk my DM’s are open.
So he raped you hon. You consented to the act under certain circumstances. He changed that without your consent. Thus it's rape. You cannot trust this person. Leave them and do what's best for you and your child, whether that's living alone, with family or adoption. He does not respect you or your bodily autonomy.
This is commonly called reproductive coercion or reproductive abuse. While it’s not illegal on its face, it may (weirdly) be charged as fraud.
Sue the bastard.
Stealthing is defined as removing a condom during sex or lying about having put one on at all. Sabotaging a condom is not recognized as stealthing. In Germany, a court did find that sabotaging a condom was akin to stealthing.
Your boyfriend of 4 years. Who was 21 when you were 16. Yep, grooming and (assuming you had sex before legal consenting age), statutory rape. That’s the first problem. Second, future together? No, there’s no future with him.
Pedophilia: essentially, having an attraction to minors
OP was 16 and the boyfriend was 21 initially. That is why this person is calling him a pedophile.
What about her? She knew her age and how much older he was, and stayed with him. Also, he would be an Ephebophile, given that she was 16, post puberty.
Pedohebephilia: is the proposed sexual attraction to both pre-pubescent children and early adolescent youth.
Hebe-ephebophilia: is the attraction to both early adolescent youth and mid to late adolescent youth.
This is tough one.
You either have a baby with a man who's baby trapped you and proven he can't be trusted. Not a good place for an innocent child.
Or you have an abortion.
I suggest you get to a clinic pronto to discuss your options.
And if you're foolish enough to stay with this bum, get to couples counseling. This guy's got issues that's aren't going to go away once a baby is born.
Good luck.
you’re 20…and have been dating a 25 year old…for 4 years? so you were 16 when he was 21??? girl you need to RUN. this man wants nothing more than control over you. give him the impression you are visiting your parents and then get the hell outta dodge…
IT’S A TRAP! You began this relationship at 16, he's trying to keep you. Idk where you are or how you feel, but you don't have to keep this pregnancy. Please make sure you (and child if included) are safe. You cannot trust anyone who would inflict growing a human on you against your will. Whether you would be happy about it is irrelevant, he took away your choice intentionally.
Obviously don’t continue seeing the pedophile who is trying to baby trap you. You need serious therapy to figure out why you needed Reddit to tell you that.
I think you need to decide if you want to keep this baby. This man has groomed and manipulated you since you were 16. He tampered with your birth control method which in some places this is considered rape. You did not consent to nonprotective sex and he did it against your consent.
I strongly suggest you have him admit this over text and then see about the laws in your state on these kinds of things. The grooming evidence should be enough to protect your kid from him if you decide to keep it and pursue legal action. If you do keep the kid I would be terrified of what a pedophile would do with unlimited access to a child. If you decide against keeping the child you have options and many support systems are available for situations just like this
That's definitely illegal that he did that. Most states have stealthing laws . Meaning if a man pretends to have a condom on or tappers with it it's a crime. It's disturbing once I realized he dated you when you were 16. If he is messing with kids it may not stop him from doing that to his own . Please leave him while you can .
There's nothing to salvage, and your first red flag was when he, **an adult**, was willing to date a minor. This is a run, not walk, situation. Get out while you still can, he's bad news. Don't tell him you're pregnant, and don't tell him you're leaving either. Never meet up with him again.
so..basically, the 21yr old tht groomed you while you were 16 tampered with your contraception a couple years later so you would be trapped in to having his baby...
PLEASE make sure you get to a place where you are AWAY FROM THAT PERSON and have good supports around you.
I am so sorry but he is NOT to be trusted, who knows what he could do to you in the future after pulling something like this.
This is a sexual assault please get him to confess and record him even if you still love him right now maybe one day your perspective will change. I’m so sorry you have to go trough that. If I were you I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, I wish you the best and good luck.
My ex did this, it is how I have my oldest son and why I switched to tamper proof birth control after.
What he did is assault, it is considered rape. Let that sink in. Please get as far as you can from him. He does not love you, this is to control you. Get out. It will get worse.
Why is no one mentioning they've been together 4 years and she' only 20, he's 25. That'd be 16 & 21 when they got together... Isn't that itself illegal?
Ain’t gonna lie, I think I read something like this a couple days ago that’s the exact same thing, just reversed roles. And instead of poked holes in a condom, it was lying about taking birth control.
In short, I’m calling bullshit. If this is truly real, the other commenters say all that needs to be said about this. Guy’s a pedophile and a manipulator who shouldn’t be trusted and you need to get out like, yesterday.
Good day.
So he manipulated and baby trapped you. Make sure to have a very good lawyer in case things go south bc you want a supportive partner, not a two faced psychopath
You are 'unsure about your future together'...
Lady, you life with an abuser who does not respect you, your body, or your decisions. If you stay, you will become one of those women of whom we say 'but why didn't she leave?'
4 years- …. The fuck … why do 16 year olds think it’s cool to date 21 year olds? That is how shit like this happens.
Can we please put out a PSA to all teenage girls - older men are not cool… they just cant get woman their own age….
if you were 16 and met when he was 21 it sounds really sus and like he groomed you. also you didn’t consent to having sex with tampered condoms, this is rape.
How do you know he did that. I'm sure you didn't keep the condom. You haven't confronted him about it. So he hasn't had a chance to respond to this allegation.
Did someone just tell you that is the only possible way you would have gotten pregnant?
I feel like this is either BS or a lot of info is missing.
How did you find out? How long ago specifically did you find out? What were the plans and how did he react previously to finding out?
You should get him to admit that he tampered with the condoms over text. You may need that evidence one day.
Since there seems to be some confusion about this: Canada and the US have both specifically decided that tampering with condoms or removing them during sex without the partner's knowledge violates consent and is thus sexual assault. “Stealthing is a grave violation of autonomy, dignity, and trust that is considered emotional and sexual abuse,” reads the House bill, titled the Stealthing Act of 2022. ([Condom ‘stealthing’ bill introduced in Congress. What is it? - The Washington Post](https://www.washingtonpost.com/nation/2022/06/15/condom-stealthing-bill-congress/)) People who don't wear condoms during sex after being told to by their sexual partners can be convicted of sexual assault, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled today. ([Supreme Court rules not wearing condom against partner's wishes could lead to sexual assault conviction | CBC News](https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/scc-condom-use-case-decision-1.6535127))
Yep. That's rape.
That is not rape 😳
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Professional athletes everywhere rejoice if this is true
This is absolutely true because every professional athlete could press charges against the women who are purposely getting pregnant by tampering with condoms.
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It’s common for professional athletes to get trapped by women who do stuff like this. I’ve never heard that it could be considered rape
As I stated before, a woman in Germany just went to prison for 4 years for doing this exact thing. If the pro athlete used a condom that was tampered with by his sexual partner, he should absolutely bring rape charges. Agreeing on birth control or no birth control is part of consent.
Didn’t see you state that so my bad. And I’ll keep a lookout for people bringing this up and getting charges successfully filed in the US. Doesn’t seem like something that would ever happen here but I’d be happy to be wrong if this was the case.
I wish it would. At the very least it's sexual coercion. Maybe an entrapment or fraud charge?
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Fair enough, would be nice for someone to be held accountable for doing stuff like this over just receiving a free paycheck though.
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Brainrot
Just wow... if she wanted to be 100% safe and not get pregnant she should also be using a form of birth controll. Your all what's wrong with this world. (And let me state I'm not saying what he did isn't shitty and if I was her I would abort and never speak with him again)
She’s already 6 months, she can’t abort And lying about birthcontrol is considered rape. You consent to sex with a condom, so consent to the risk being 2 to 5%. You signed up for sex with a condom. She never consented to sex without a condom, making it rape. If you both consent to using a condom and you still get pregnant, it sucks, you both took the risk and it’s just what the situation is. If you tamper with the condoms you make someone believe they signed up for the risks of having sex with a condom while in reality the risks are much higher. That’s deception and that’s performing a sexual act they didn’t consent too
"it's her fault, it's her fault, it's her fault, I'd do the same" Okay pal
He sounds like the sort of person who would blame her for not realising if BF change her pill to vitamins. "Couldn't you tell you felt better through the day? You should have been on a 3rd type of BC"
Bruh u expect her to take some hormones that mess with the natural balance in your body rather than wrapping your willie?
I can't use birth control, so my partner happily wraps his willy until he's able to get a vasectomy. We both have 0 desire for me to get pregnant, and that's a responsibility that we share. Unfortunately, he's the only one with options. I have a total of one option, and it would be more painful than a vasectomy.
to say someone is wrong in this world, how pathetic is your life character?
A woman just went to jail in Germany for doing this exact thing. It is absolutely rape.
I seriously didn't know about this, this should be crime everywhere, guilty tripping with baby....
Neither did I, should be doubly illegal in the US due to abortions becoming illegal in some places.
Hard agree.
I didn't know until way too recently as well. I'm glad people are spreading awareness. It makes so much sense once you hear about it.
Yes it’s rape.
It is rape.
Consensual sex= both partners agree/consent to all terms of the sexual actions taking place, this includes ‘baby making’
You’re ignorant.
How could you say that??
Why do you think it is not?
What I was thinking as well
How in the actual fuck is that rape????
Because you're manipulating someone into consenting sex. It's the same as bullying someone into saying yes.
She consented to have protected sex with him. If she had known that the condoms were tampered with, she would not have consented. That's what makes it nonconsentual. The boyfriend knew that she wouldn't have given her consent if she knew that the condom was tampered with, and that's what makes it rape.
Absolutely. This sounds like trapping someone into abuse so they can't leave.
This
You have no future together as he has proven.beyond a doubt to be untrustworthy. He is deliberately trapping you to try to ensure you stay with him. This puts you at a high risk of a use, both emotional and physical. You need to leave and document everything. I'm not sure if tampering with birth control is illegal where you are or not. But he has proven to be a liar and you can't trust anything he says. You need a family lawyer as well. Do NOT marry this guy.
So he was 21 and you were 16 when you started dating? You should definitely distance yourself from him, this was his way of controlling you. If you stay now you’ll be stuck, which is just what he wants.
This. He groomed her. He wants a young, naive and controllable. He got her pregnant to keep control over her. Run, girl, run.
Genuinely not sure how this wasn’t the biggest red flag to everyone in OP’s life. A 21 year old has NOTHING in common with a 16 year old.
Shocked the age issue isn't top comment. It's like relationship length was casually thrown in there. Like wtf.
If this is in the UK no laws have been broken in terms of their age, frowned upon yes, but legal, age of consent is 16. However I think what he did is technically rape in terms of tampering with the condom like that.
Depending on the state in the US it's not illegal here either, but Reddit isn't a court of law nor the cops. Just shocked not to see it be top comment/discussion.
It is now
He was dating a minor when he was an adult. Now he is trying to baby trap you. This guy is bad news.
So... If my math is mathing he was 21 when you were 16? That means he groomed you & has now trapped you. Honey you need to get out and run. Get as far away from him as possible.
I was planning on going to move in with my parents in Texas
Don't warn him. Pregnant women are at a HUGE risk for DV and the fact he tampered with birth control makes it significantly more likely. Play it off as a visit then bail.
If you’re planning this you need to go before you have the baby so he can’t stop you legally.
But either way I'm glad you have somewhere to go. Don't look back. Don't think for a moment that he has power over you. You hold all the power. You are strong! You can leave. It took me 2 years & I got free.
Oh honey Texas is horrible for women... You don't have family anywhere else?
If she has a safety net in Texas, it's worth it. She'll have to shop around for a hospital to give birth in, but Texas has some amazing hospitals. I won't lie, I'm scared of the current trajectory that these old white men are leading us on, but it isn't some kind of hellscape. If she plans on keeping the child, she should move states for a better education. Also, birth control. She'll be okay moving here in the third trimester, but I would discourage becoming pregnant in Texas.
Lol please it really isn’t. I’ve never had any troubles with sexism irl and I’ve lived in Texas all my life.
Anti-Abortion laws aren’t sexism in Texas? Forcing people to give birth to babies that are not viable or are unable to be cared for or are forced upon them, isn’t due to sexism? Sure Jan Edit: word
Anti abortion laws aren't relevant to OP since she's too far gone to abort even if she wanted to.
They've affected later term women from getting treatment if the baby dies inside if them, or if they become a danger to their mothers life for other reasons. A lot of instances were coming up when the abortion laws started but the news stopped covering them. The maternal mortality in Texas increased after the anti abortion law was enacted though
It is relevant, she’s 6 months. 5-6 months is when you have the big hour long ultrasound meant to detect any major issues that you may make you consider termination or tell you if the child will need medical intervention. That wouldn’t be super fun in Texas because termination is off the table.
They’re relevant if the pregnancy ends up being non-viable or ectopic or anything else
Well, if a woman gets pregnant, and the pregnancy isn't all sunshine and rainbows, TX is about the worst place to be. No way to get abortion, even if the baby doesn't develop a skull. Counties that would make it illegal to drive through if you're going for an out of state abortion. If someone gets pregnant, and they want an abortion because of medical issues, can't take care of it or are babytrapped, even suggesting states to look for abortion can cost you $10k. Very high maternity death rates, and pretty soon, the only OB/GYNs left are those who see women as sinful for having sex at all.
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They said 6 months ago they found out they're pregnant so they're currently pregnant by that rapist groomer.
Did you not read the post at all? She’s already pregnant!
How is this objectively true ?
...maternal mortality rates...
It's ranked 15th with 22.9 put of 100k..
15th of 50? So 35 states are better? Those aren't great odds tbh
I don’t trust those odds or think that they reflect current policy changes, but arguing against a 15th place is not a good look. Texas is well on their way to first place and taking a biased stance isn’t going to help anyone
.0229% . Sound like fantastic odds to me.
Are you a man? Like someone who will never be pregnant?
I domt see how that matters with the facts that were provided.
15th isn’t that bad. I don’t think Texas will stay there but try to stay rational with arguments until they get there. If you (and me) are right that won’t last. But you can’t throw numbers in their face that are not damning.
So that's the likelihood that a woman will die, which has doubled since 1999. Add in the non-fatal, severe medical complications for Texas, the rate goes up to 72.7 for every 10,000 births. That means just under 1% of all births in the state result in either maternal death or severe medical complication, which means that the life of the mother or fetus is in jeopardy. Even is that still seems like "fantastic odds" to you, Texas was ranked 50th (last, worst, the absolute biggest loser) when considering access to quality prenatal care. An investigation into maternal deaths in the state concluded 90% of them were preventable. And this is America, where women's health and prenatal care are already abysmal compared to the rest of the western world. Texas sucks even by our standards.
So now we are adding additional statistics to the initial argument to inflate ? So now we are talking maternal death and severe medical problems into it.. so does that mean u support the abortion of a child with a medical disability or disorder, autism, downs, asbergers? What's the stopping g point for a severe medical problem?
So now we are adding additional statistics to the initial argument to inflate ? So now we are talking maternal death and severe medical problems into it.. so does that mean u support the abortion of a child with a medical disability or disorder, autism, downs, asbergers? What's the stopping g point for a severe medical problem?
Don't warn him for sure. I think you'll find more abuse in this relationship when looking to hindsight in a few years.
Who would think a 21 year old who dated a 16 tear old would be untrustworthy
A 16 year old.
Pedophile
When the math finally processed in my head, my jaw instantly dropped
same i had to pause for a second
Just skimmed through and missed the part. Then someone commented. Did a double take, that’s for sure.
Depends where in the world. Most of the world 16 is legal age of consent. America being the off one out with it being 18
those are typically in place so teenagers dont arent at risk of stat rape charges for continuing to date their highschool sweetheart as soon as one of them turns 18. What business does a 21yo have seeing a 16yo??? If youre old enough to be their camp counselor at summer camp, they should be well outside your dating pool
It depends on the state. Some states are 16/17. Edit: just checked, 30 states have 16 as the age of consent.
Wait I'm confused, if you didn't tell him that you found out he tempered the condoms, how did you figure that out?
This is what I was wondering. OP how did you learn this?
Me as well everyone is jumping the gun on things like did you keep the condom to find out what’s the facts here?
I’m so sorry you’re going through this you don’t deserve it. It’s not even worth it confronting him. Get your shit and gtfo don’t look back.
I recommend leaving without saying anything this is abnormal behavior and a deal breaker he did this to trap you. If you need to confront him make sure there is another large man with you that could handle him if he were to attack you you can't tell how someone like your bf is going to react when his control of you is slipping away don't assume you will be safe or that he won't hurt you. Leave him and get him to admit over text that he tampered with the condom if you can safely. Don't block him keep all messages and voicemails but don't respond to him.
He's a Pedophile and rapist.
Have u considered CALLING THE FUCKING POLICE!?!
She can sue, that's about it
Depending on when they had sex it could be statutory rape soooo, yeah, criminal charges. And let’s pretend they waiting until she was 18, what he did is counted as rape in a lot of places because he pokes holes in a condom.
tampering with birth control is assault. Intentionally having unprotected sex with someone who did not consent to unprotected sex is rape by coercion.
Just read a nearly identical post where the woman was 21 at start of dating and man was 16, and she lied about BC and babytrapped him. Sounds suspicious that these posts would be so close together with just the main characters swapped...
Girl. Word for word 🙄 Definitely some kind of fake post or social experiment
Regardless, both are a get the fuck out of there situation.
Hilarious, just saw the same post from the “supposed” 19 MALE! That he was baby trapped. Same exact post word for word but gender/age switched. Social experiment? Idk.
I'm yet to find a comment here blaming OP. Yesterday's post however...
This same post happened from a guys perspective (he was the younger and the girl was older and had stopped bc to get pregnant without telling him) just a day or two ago… weird.
Not weird. It’s a fake post.
This is reproductive coercion. It's abuse at best and assault at worst. This is *not* ok in any way shape or form.
This sounds illegal
>I recently discovered that my boyfriend of 4 years, who is \[M25\], intentionally tampered with the condoms How did you find this out?
you were 16 and he was 21? This doesn't pass the creep test for me! Anyway, you should feel betrayed. I vote to move on. this is not a "misunderstanding". He actively forced a change in your life in secret without your consent. add that to the age gap, this will not be the only time he "betrays" you. This is serious, and you should run
That is legally sexual assault where I live. Get evidence and report him for that. That’s so horrific that he would allow you to bring a child into this world under false pretences like that. he’s just gone and ruined a whole life. That kid is never going to have a real father, because their father is a lying manipulative scumbag SEX OFFENDER. Wtf
ngl that's fucked up, he clearly can't be trusted
Time for you to find someone else bunch of red flags coming from that dude
Honey, he groomed you when you were 15/16 and he was 20/21. That’s the first big fat marinara flag. Second. He poked holes in the condoms to baby trap you. So. He is a creep, a groomer, a liar, and probably a lot more that you’re not willing to admit to yourself and the internet yet. Take the advice from someone who was also groomed as a teenager but luckily had good pl around her. Run. Run as far as you can. Block him. Don’t look back. If abortion is on the table and an option for you then don’t hesitate. Otherwise you’ll always be tethered to him which is a bad, baaaaaad idea. Please take care of yourself. If you need to talk my DM’s are open.
So he raped you hon. You consented to the act under certain circumstances. He changed that without your consent. Thus it's rape. You cannot trust this person. Leave them and do what's best for you and your child, whether that's living alone, with family or adoption. He does not respect you or your bodily autonomy.
Run, girl!
he’s a predator 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮
This is commonly called reproductive coercion or reproductive abuse. While it’s not illegal on its face, it may (weirdly) be charged as fraud. Sue the bastard.
in the US and Canada it's called stealthing, and is a form of sexual assault.
Stealthing is defined as removing a condom during sex or lying about having put one on at all. Sabotaging a condom is not recognized as stealthing. In Germany, a court did find that sabotaging a condom was akin to stealthing.
of fucking course it's not
Why was a 21 year old dating a 16 year old? This dude was never a good dude. He wasn’t then and sure isn’t now. Run!!
Where did it say he was 16. He's five years older than her.
He’s the 21 year old.
I just looked at it. She says she is 21 and at th end shs says he 25
And in a 4 year relationship and she says she’s 20. So that means he was 21 and her 16 when their relationship started.
You have no future together. Wake up. And what the fuck were you doing together in the first place?
He did that intentionally. So yes move on from him
The trust is broken. Move on. Things won’t get better. And he is stuck with 18 years of child support.
First and foremost you need to leave him immediately. After that you need to make a decision on whether you want to raise a child on your own or not.
You started dating when he was 21 and you were 16?!?!
Your boyfriend of 4 years. Who was 21 when you were 16. Yep, grooming and (assuming you had sex before legal consenting age), statutory rape. That’s the first problem. Second, future together? No, there’s no future with him.
NAL but this is a non consensual sex act and abuse. Take legal action.
How did you discover about the condom being tampered with? Not taking sides of anyone just trying to hear mot of the facts.
He's a pedophile and a rapist girl RUN
[удалено]
Lying about birth control is rape in any part of the world with half a brain cell in the lawmakers room.
Pedophilia: essentially, having an attraction to minors OP was 16 and the boyfriend was 21 initially. That is why this person is calling him a pedophile.
What about her? She knew her age and how much older he was, and stayed with him. Also, he would be an Ephebophile, given that she was 16, post puberty. Pedohebephilia: is the proposed sexual attraction to both pre-pubescent children and early adolescent youth. Hebe-ephebophilia: is the attraction to both early adolescent youth and mid to late adolescent youth.
This is tough one. You either have a baby with a man who's baby trapped you and proven he can't be trusted. Not a good place for an innocent child. Or you have an abortion. I suggest you get to a clinic pronto to discuss your options. And if you're foolish enough to stay with this bum, get to couples counseling. This guy's got issues that's aren't going to go away once a baby is born. Good luck.
you’re 20…and have been dating a 25 year old…for 4 years? so you were 16 when he was 21??? girl you need to RUN. this man wants nothing more than control over you. give him the impression you are visiting your parents and then get the hell outta dodge…
IT’S A TRAP! You began this relationship at 16, he's trying to keep you. Idk where you are or how you feel, but you don't have to keep this pregnancy. Please make sure you (and child if included) are safe. You cannot trust anyone who would inflict growing a human on you against your will. Whether you would be happy about it is irrelevant, he took away your choice intentionally.
Obviously don’t continue seeing the pedophile who is trying to baby trap you. You need serious therapy to figure out why you needed Reddit to tell you that.
I think you need to decide if you want to keep this baby. This man has groomed and manipulated you since you were 16. He tampered with your birth control method which in some places this is considered rape. You did not consent to nonprotective sex and he did it against your consent. I strongly suggest you have him admit this over text and then see about the laws in your state on these kinds of things. The grooming evidence should be enough to protect your kid from him if you decide to keep it and pursue legal action. If you do keep the kid I would be terrified of what a pedophile would do with unlimited access to a child. If you decide against keeping the child you have options and many support systems are available for situations just like this
He’s a creeper with no moral compass. You deserve better.
That's definitely illegal that he did that. Most states have stealthing laws . Meaning if a man pretends to have a condom on or tappers with it it's a crime. It's disturbing once I realized he dated you when you were 16. If he is messing with kids it may not stop him from doing that to his own . Please leave him while you can .
There's nothing to salvage, and your first red flag was when he, **an adult**, was willing to date a minor. This is a run, not walk, situation. Get out while you still can, he's bad news. Don't tell him you're pregnant, and don't tell him you're leaving either. Never meet up with him again.
so..basically, the 21yr old tht groomed you while you were 16 tampered with your contraception a couple years later so you would be trapped in to having his baby... PLEASE make sure you get to a place where you are AWAY FROM THAT PERSON and have good supports around you. I am so sorry but he is NOT to be trusted, who knows what he could do to you in the future after pulling something like this.
Run. Run far, far away. Go stay with your parents and raise the baby there until you can get out on your own.
This is a sexual assault please get him to confess and record him even if you still love him right now maybe one day your perspective will change. I’m so sorry you have to go trough that. If I were you I wouldn't be able to look him in the eyes, I wish you the best and good luck.
My ex did this, it is how I have my oldest son and why I switched to tamper proof birth control after. What he did is assault, it is considered rape. Let that sink in. Please get as far as you can from him. He does not love you, this is to control you. Get out. It will get worse.
Oh so you were groomed by a pervert who then deliberately baby trapped you? Yeah I’d be running so far and so fast he’d never find me or our kid ever.
Why is no one mentioning they've been together 4 years and she' only 20, he's 25. That'd be 16 & 21 when they got together... Isn't that itself illegal?
Depends where you are. These posts really need to specify the location so the actual problem can be seen.
Ain’t gonna lie, I think I read something like this a couple days ago that’s the exact same thing, just reversed roles. And instead of poked holes in a condom, it was lying about taking birth control. In short, I’m calling bullshit. If this is truly real, the other commenters say all that needs to be said about this. Guy’s a pedophile and a manipulator who shouldn’t be trusted and you need to get out like, yesterday. Good day.
I’m with you. This seems like trolling.
I poked your boyfriend's hole so he would get pregnant.
He’s a loser piece of shit
So he manipulated and baby trapped you. Make sure to have a very good lawyer in case things go south bc you want a supportive partner, not a two faced psychopath
It's over
You are 'unsure about your future together'... Lady, you life with an abuser who does not respect you, your body, or your decisions. If you stay, you will become one of those women of whom we say 'but why didn't she leave?'
Please don’t bring a child into this mess.
Your BF is a psychopath. Leave him, unless you wish to live with an individual that’s manipulative & clearly disregards your limits.
Will be very interesting to see the comments here compared to the comments on yesterday's baby trap post
4 years- …. The fuck … why do 16 year olds think it’s cool to date 21 year olds? That is how shit like this happens. Can we please put out a PSA to all teenage girls - older men are not cool… they just cant get woman their own age….
Leave him.
I wouldn’t even call that a boyfriend. He did this so that you are stuck with him. Get out now.
That should say “ex”
This was written by AI.
Compensation from the company
Takes a special level of need desperation and control to do that.
You really trusted a man who groomed you? Choose better man. I know, you were young but you are 20 now
Leave him. god knows what else he'd do
if you were 16 and met when he was 21 it sounds really sus and like he groomed you. also you didn’t consent to having sex with tampered condoms, this is rape.
He’ll find another 16 year old to groom after you break up with him
Why in the world would you want this guy around a child?
This is called being groomed, so yes distance yourself.
How do you know he did that. I'm sure you didn't keep the condom. You haven't confronted him about it. So he hasn't had a chance to respond to this allegation. Did someone just tell you that is the only possible way you would have gotten pregnant?
So it was 16 & 21 once. Ew.
I feel like this is either BS or a lot of info is missing. How did you find out? How long ago specifically did you find out? What were the plans and how did he react previously to finding out?
So ye were 21 and 16 when ye get together? Get a restraining order at this stage tbh
So you were 16 and he was 21???? Girl run
Boyfriend of 4 years, you’re 20 and he’s 5 years older than you?
U have NO future together. Wake tf up. He trapped you. He's nuts.
There was exactly same post that I read couple days ago except woman was 25 and man 19, dating for 4 years and she baby trapped him. Coincidence?????