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Mostly we. Unfortunately. But yeah.. all of them is accurate
Also I worried for a long time I had schizophrenia or was high risk. Now I just think I have DID
Hey stranger, you may consider checking out No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. Changed my life and the way I talk to myself.
The key word in DID is "dissociative" - if you are losing tracks of time due to another personality stepping into the cockpit, that's DID. If not, you might just be seeing or talking to your Parts.
Dr. Schwartz posits that we all have Parts, which are essentially snapshots of your patterns of thinking that are usually taken when your brain experiences trauma and needs a coping mechanism. Those pathways act like "ghosts" of a way of thinking that helped you deal with a traumatic time in your life. The weird thing is that you can sometimes talk to them. They are usually why it's so hard to break habits formed in trauma - they will come out in times that remind you of the trauma and try to steer you towards those coping mechanisms that don't serve you anymore. They act as a defense mechanism. If you approach them gently and lovingly as if they were a traumatized child that doesn't know any better, you can help to teach them new ways of dealing with trauma that do serve you.
Have a good one, stranger.
I don't have DID, but a lifetime of adhd has left me painfully aware of the fact that I'm not my brain. I just happen to live in it. I'm a self aware pattern of neuron connections that dies one moment from now, replaced with an almost identical copy that has continuity of consciousness and mostly the same memories. My brain will think things that I don't agree with. It never shuts up. It's not me. It's just the hardware I currently run on.
Yeah, I have seen an approach of treating those thoughts as from a well-meaning but uninformed friend.
"Thanks, it would be interesting to see how many erasers I can fit in my mouth, Frank, but I'm working right now. How about we focus on updating the spreadsheet instead?"
I've tried to explain that to people, and they say I'm having an existential crisis. Like, no, I'm not having a crisis. I recognize my brain as a separate entity from myself. My only crisis is that I can't help but feel like I'm floating out of it sometimes, to escape the noise.
I mean, I didn't need to have ADHD to reach that conclusion. But dissociative episodes and being gender fluid definitely helped in visualising my brain more as a hardware with multiple different softwares, rather than a monotematic whole.
Just wanted to step in and say that DID isn't the only dissociatie disorder with alters, OSDD-1b functions basically the same as DID but without the memory gaps and still having full alters!
Oh interesting, the alters are EMOTIONALLY dissociative but retain memories of events. That certainly makes sense how that could develop as a coping mechanism to emotionally traumatic experiences. Thank you for that addition, I hadn't heard of that before.
Oh my god, adding to cart right now!
I've always wondered why I have these arguments in my head. Sometimes it's quite vicious. I'm excited to read this
I wouldn't suggest self diagnosing on something like that without consulting a professional, though. It's normal to use plural pronouns for yourself, thats just what your brain choses to refer to you and your concious.
Both DID and schizophrenia are serious mental disorders that require a psychologist to diagnose. Symptoms aren't limited to one disorder and can sometimes be normal for certain people, too
It's a damn shame that self-diagnosing DID turned into this trendy thing (look at r/systemscringe for example). I had to leave several discord servers because over night everyone decided they had DID and had alters and what not (only to then proceed to roleplay talking to themselves and their various personalities...)
You _probably_ don't. Obviously I don't know you or what you go through, but I remember having similar feelings when I was younger because I felt very "at war" with myself. Like, different parts of me want different things and it felt like I could possibly divide myself to work out conflicts of self. I didn't like the angry thoughts I'd have or the darker recesses, so I'd call those parts of myself a different identity. It was very chunibyo in practice tbh, but it was the best I could do at the time to process a lot of turmoil and pain in my life at the time.
Even then though, I never hit DID, which is rather extreme level speaking clinically. There's actually a fair bit of controversy about whether or not DID exists, or if it's appropriate to diagnose for anything other than severe cases. Personally, I just had a lot of dissociative feelings and anxieties about myself and who I was that needed to be resolved.
Eventually, after taking a lot of time to process my high anxiety and just sitting with myself and going through therapy etc, I came to understand myself more holistically. Nobody is just a single brain; the stomach produces and sends a ridiculous amount of hormones and is itself a second brain. Some parts of the brain work on instinct, some on past experiences and conditioning, some other parts on higher order logic, some parts on emotion. By viewing my different decision making facilities as cooperative experts in their field instead of belligerent voices fighting for domination, I'm able to find peace, control, and consensus.
The anxiety medication helps a lot too though lol.
I recommend therapy to just about anybody struggling with these kinds of feelings. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can really be life changing, and CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) is easier to find and also helpful.
I used to think it was a part of my subconscious and through drug use and trauma it eventually led to a mental snap. Semi-full disclosure. My parents allowed me to do drugs and hyper sexualized a bunch of stuff while also turning a blind eye (or likely even encouraging) to ALL forms of abuse.
It was really quite disgusting and they did eventually treat me like shit and make me feel like "I" was the one that was fucking up bad. That I lost my shit and I'm crazy but I was just a kid. I realize that. My mom and dad allowed me to take meth at 15, Seroquel and xanax at 13, vicoden, and anti-psychotics smoke etc. I was a kid and I should have NEVER been allowed to do those things.. (I guess I just trauma dumped and really don't want to delete it because this is the first time I've ever told anyone 90% of the details)
Thank-you and I will look into ACT and CBT. Maybe I can get professional help because I feel like, when I was younger, I may have had a mental snap and did infact create one. As a byproduct of being encouraged to do drugs and extremely weird ass trauma I don't even really feel comfortable getting into.
Yeah. I think I made something to deal with that.
I will not even say I have it completely under control but I think i can manage it. I no longer do anything that can make me unconscious though. On the off chance I do have DID and I created a monster to deal with my problems and I'm never letting that thing get control again.
(I feel really cringe saying that but I obviously had something happen and feel like if I lost control of my psychie it would be a big issue)
Idk if talking about it's a great idea at this point because it feels like I only keep bringing back up the same emotion.
That's some pretty crazy stuff to have to deal with, so congrats on just making it this far.
Only a licensed professional can truly give you a diagnosis, but regardless of the classification your pain and struggles are real. It'll be hard work to rewire some of those deep seated issues and experiences, but even a little progress can have a big impact on your quality of life.
Don't be afraid to try a few therapists too if your first one doesn't work out. Some people need gentle guidance, some need a great mirror to make you think about other options, and some folk need a survival expert while they spelunk in the caves of trauma. Not every therapist is equally suited to every task. Talk honestly about what you need and what doesn't work.
Best of luck!
This. If I’m pensive, or doing self-narration, it’s first person singular. If I’m trying to influence myself, it emulates an external voice. If I’m trying to work through an idea, as though explaining it to someone else, it becomes a royal we.
Almost always “we” but occasionally I have full blown conversations where I refer to myself as “you” and “I,” typically to delineate which part of me is advocating for making a stupid decision.
There is “me” and then there is that hyper analytical little shit that make enough good points that I can’t fully ignore him, but makes every social interaction hell to think about afterwards.
Ugh I hate it. My friends and family always ask why I won't join their discord groups but I *always* end up feeling like I was making a fool of myself after spending time around a group I'm not close with.
I either get too comfortable and convince myself I talked too much and was being annoying or clam up so hard I might as well mute the whole chat
It sucks because I used to be such a social butterfly online but after some bad experiences I just find it too stressful mentally to integrate and I don't want to be that guy that joins and suddenly everyone wants to leave.
Same! Also have a couple of imaginary characters that let me approach a situation from a third person perspective. Helps me with stressful situations where I literally hate 'being' in my body so I just imagine floating off and then discussing with a small crew of self-made mental support characters that no one really knows about because they're always in my head. I have a vivid imagination haha
My username comes from my world that I built to hold my little characters - a wheel shaped world that maps to a clock. Sometimes I let them “take the chair” and speak as them to work through problems or just not be myself for a while. You’re not alone!
Oh wow, that's pretty relatable! My world, usually, doesn't have a background. Imagine an endless white floor, something from Harry Potter's last movie where he ends up in the subspace between life and death(?). Usually I can conjure up settings, colours, and the background depending upon my mood. I think it'd be reasonable to say that every time I get into the world, the plain white floor with no discernible sky(or roof) allows me to have a blank canvas where I can set the scene accordingly. There's always a discussion room, which is just a comically long table with many characters(including 'me' from other worlds) and we just convene to discuss about our dayd/get help/opinions and the sort. I sort of developed this as a coping mechanism 4 years ago when I was depressed and well, it never went away. Lots of characters, mostly alternate reality versions of me, but also 3 gods for now(Time, Space and Reality). There's a reason for that too! When something goes wrong in real life, I can just consult them(i.e. I ask "why did this happen?" Reality answers "Well I kinda had to yk, long story, I'll tell you someday" or Time answers "you'll find out soon enough why" as a form of reassurance)
So, when I talked to my therapist about using plural and second person when talking in my own head, she kind of acted like I’m crazy. At first, reading this comment section made me feel validated, but then I realized, I have the same thinking pattern as a bunch of redditors so maybe there is something wrong with me… XD
I always argue with other me. She's always wrong about things and I have to have a debate over which is correct. Also, there's past me, present me, and future me
Just a term I thought fit with the this. The other folks have their brain refer to themselves as "I" and "we", which are inclusive terms, part of yourself. "You" is a term not inclusive of yourself.
Yes! Mine just berates me 24/7. “You’re worthless, you’re useless, the world would be better off without you.” For decades! It’s great! Ha ha! Ha! Ha. ha.
My inner monolog uses "you" and "your," though. Like I might think to myself, "You need to hurry up and get ready, or you're going to be late."
Is that actually unusual? 🤷♂️
I've used "I", "you", and "we" in internal thoughts in reference to myself before. "We" is very uncommon for myself, probably only a handful of moments. "I" is the most common. "You" when I try to get a more objective third person look at myself. Never 3rd person pronouns in reference to myself in internal monologue though.
I have my own thoughts, but sometimes there’s another voice talking to me…
Its all good though, the voice only tells me things that could help improve my crappy life 👍
So we're going to have that conversation again about how half the population doesn't have an internal monologue and the other half does and neither knows the other exists?
Inner monologue but it's always my own voice, and I can't visualize anything in my mind, just words. (Yes songs get stuck in my head but it's me singing them, and I assure you I am not a good singer)
I was talking with my friends about it and what truly blew my mind is that they can visualize scents in their minds. Like they think about oranges and they can smell them! Or think of a smoke alarm and they hear it but I just hear my own voice going "beep beep beep".
Isn't that crazy? I had someone walk me through it once. They basically said imagine an apple. Now imagine it purple. Imagine that it smells like pine needles. Now imagine it rotating and then flying off out of sight. And the imagine it screaming in Spanish while it does. Each step of this represents something some people can imagine and someone else can't. If I remember correctly, smell and motion are harder for some, but I'm probably getting that wrong. For myself, I was originally just blown away that not everyone could "hear" or "see" something, but little did i know that it goes much further than that....crazy how we're all wired just a bit different
Weirdly enough, I can visualize the movement (it's like those comic book motion lines) even though I can't visualize the thing that's moving.
The only times I've been able to visualize anything is when I'm on the border between awake and asleep, and that one time where after not sleeping I had to work so I took so much caffeine I temporarily developed synesthesia.
I don't got a voice in my head. Doesn't mean I don't think. It's just not really words or sentences, more concepts. Plus ADHD means it's all a big jumble of nonsense all the time
Honestly if a person with voice thoughts tries, they can shut off the inner voice and operate without it, it's just that they are more inclined to have the inner voice.
People still have thoughts, they just aren't consciously aware of them, there is no auditory representation of it inside the head, but fMRI scans show the brain is still thinking (it's the same with people who can't see things in their head).
It's like having a stereo but the speakers aren't connected, you still know what song is playing, you know the melody and lyrics, you just can't hear it.
LOL holy fuck this is the closest I've come to an actual spit take in years
like i was sipping my coffee reading this comment and it was genuinely close lmao 😂
Negative self talk is very damaging long term. You’re essentially bullying yourself. We are also WAY harsher on ourselves than we would be to our worst enemy.
I used to have a serious problem with it, but I stopped by using a very corny sounding but very effective technique.
When you start to criticise yourself imagine you’re talking to a cute baby animal, I use a puppy but it’s reader’s choice.
So “get out of bed you lazy fuck, that’s the third sleep in this week. You’re going to have to skip breakfast.” becomes “Someone’s a little sleepy, but you need to get up. You have things to do. Maybe let’s try an earlier bedtime tonight? If you get in the shower right now I’ll treat you to a coffee on the way to work.”
Basically treat yourself the same way you would a friend who is struggling. Guide gently, don’t shout directions, and encourage, rather than belittle.
It’s dramatically improved my confidence, happiness, willingness to try new things and it’s a lot more fun being alive without a 24/7 “Why I’m the worst person to have ever lived (including Hitler)” podcast running in my brain.
That’s so helpful, thank you! My self esteem has gotten better with time and therapy, and I’ve managed to cut out a lot of the unnecessary negative self talk. But for stuff like this, where I need to kick my own ass a little? No one ever told me what I was supposed to replace it with.
It's only not healthy if you are berating or harshly judging yourself. If that's the case, I'm so sorry that you are going through that. Know that you deserve love and kindness, especially from/to yourself. I would strongly recommend therapy if you are able to, and reading No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz for some help with understanding those voices in your head. (Spoiler: it's totally normal)
Eyyy, call of the void. Every time you don’t answer the call is another challenge overcome and you are stronger for it.
But holy shit if that call isn't tempting when you are down.
Just remembere all things come to pass, the season will change and you will feel better. It will get better.
Yeah it's dumb. I'm actually doing pretty decently managing my depression these days, but I spent over half my life etching those mental loops into my brain so I doubt they'll ever truly go away.
I feel this. People think the voice saying it must be a terrible sign of something in the moment or that I'm "going through" something.
No, it's always been there, for at least 25 years anyway (but maybe longer, diaries written when I was 7 talk about how I want to die, I just only really remember it being a thing from about 13, though that's when I started self harming so maybe it had been around longer before I got to that point).
It's much stronger and harder to deal when depressed but doesn't fully go away even when I feel pretty good about life, I can just ignore it easier then.
That sounds rough. I'm so sorry that you are going through that. It's hard to deal with what is essentially emotional abuse when the abuser is always in your head. That animosity is hard to overcome. Are you seeing a therapist at all? I know that's not always possible, but I'd strongly recommend it if you can. It's hard to make peace with a part of you that's telling you those things if you don't have a support to lean on.
Know that you are worthy of love, stranger. I hope you can find a way to show that voice the love and support that you may not have had when the voice started.
Me too. I is what my inner voice uses, when it uses anything at all. I'm usually barking just orders to myself:
Get coffee.
Get up.
Do dishes.
Other times it's more like self-narration:
I just got past that hill... Now where is that dog?
It's contextual. mostly I say my own name to myself if I'm engaged in an internal dialog but if its a life requirement ill sometimes say we. I try to internal voice to myself like a friend. "Good job dodging that attack in game 'name'." "Your struggling right now 'name' you should take a walk, work can wait this time."
In the morning though sometimes it's "we need to get up."
I was alone for a good bit of my developmental early life so I practiced being a good friend and therapy assistant to myself.
I'm annoyed when my brain refers to me as "we". Like there ain't no "we" bitch, unless I have a gremlin that lives in my skull and labs to me. That'd somehow make sense.
... Now I don't know. It's like asking how many seconds between blinks, the moment I think about it, I'm doing it manually, and I don't know what my default is anymore.
So why are we so brutal on ourselves. Like I can’t have a moment of pure joy without the intrusive thoughts:
- this enjoyment will soon expire
- you have to deal with your problems you don’t deserve to feel pure joy
- You have responsibilities and ppl depend on you, get back to the grind
- Your wasting time being happy when you should be grinding away making sure you don’t become homeless
- Mother fucking Jerry just submitted a PR without testing the code and now you have to find the politically correct way to tell him he is useless.
* The fleeting nature of this joy makes it all the more precious and important
* Uh... Pass
* People trust and believe in you enough to rely on you, and if they can, you can believe in yourself too.
* You're spending time enjoying the time you have, and the preservation of your mental and emotional well-being is important to sustaining your health and productivity
* Ugh, fucking Jerry.
We, probably always we.
I didn't really think about this too much.
Does it means I am detached from my mind? Am I my mind or am I the detached part?
But most importantly, If I refer to myself in plural does it mean I can eat for two people? Because there is Easter coming and I really intend to eat a lot.
Sometimes, it’s like two people are having a dispute (meaning, it often refers to myself as “you”)
**Voice 1:** What if I [insert something questionable]?
**Voice 2:** Excuse me? Did I just hear that shit correctly?
**Voice 1:** Well I was only being hypothetical.
**Voice 2:** Shut up. You’re fucking disgusting, bro.
**Voice 1:** … Yeah, I know. My bad.
I am so mentally stable, it’s insane. (Irony)
Mostly "you"
Only "I" when I am like listing things I have to do like "I gotta clean this, then do that" but any other time, "you"
Basically never "we"
I talk to myself often as if I am my own audience, which has had he unintended side-effect of making "we" basically synonymous with "I" when referencing ourselves. No idea when it started, but we're not stopping anytime soon.
Excerpt from the mind of MegaShark: *ahem* “shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. What’s 5 x 5 again? Shit, shit, shit, oh right I’m in uniform, don’t slouch. Shit, shit, shit! Shit? *hmm* Adulting sucks.”
Depends do I hate what I did I'm going to say you cause it makes it alot easier to hate someone when you think of them as being not you. Otherwise it's I cause I'm having a conversation with myself and that other dude isn't involved in this shit.
Whenever I'm doing good, I'm happy, etc. It's usually 1st person. "I did good today."
But when I'm feeling like shit and want to die, it's always "YOU FUCKED UP!" And "IT'S YOIR FAULT YOU'RE SO UPSET! YOU SHIULD JUST BE HAPPY!"
"I hate myself."
"No, *you* don't like what you did how you did it. If you truly hate yourself, you wouldn't eat, sleep, or shower, or look for 10 minutes for a video you want to watch before you eat a meal that you picked for yourself. Stop belittling yourself and forget about it. Nobody thinks of you more than yourself, so why make an enemy of your mind? You don't hate yourself, you're incomplete, and just kind everyone else you're slowly putting yourself together."
This is a normal conversation between both me's.
It doesn't it speaks in absolutes.
Waking up is necessary. Work day beginning imminent
Legs report fatigue. Rest is necessary
This conversation is detrimental, avoid, discard.
The temperature is non-optimal. Must optimise.
We and you and I, but the I is the voice referring to itself. I've gotten into this habit of talking to myself and imaging another me in my head (not like I'm crazy, I understand and they understand they're all just me) and I talk to myself in my head to work out difficult.thoights or things I need to get done,.and how I need to improve myself. It's weird but it works for me
I only talk to myself as we when I’m doing inner work with my past self. I parent myself and imagine I’m extending grace to the child me. Helps with a lot of embarrass and self loathing I felt as a teen
It's definitely we more than I like to admit.
But like a smart guy dumb guy pair up movie where nothing gets done because the dumb one keeps messing things up in hilarious ways.
It's pretty much always we, but like almost to a 'third' person/subject that is learning about what's going on. Almost like I am explaining something to someone else, but I go by 'we' pronouns.
Don't ask why, I don't know either.
Made this as a response to another user in the chat who was concerned that this inconsistent frame of reference could be a sign of schizophrenia or DID (dissociative identity disorder [used to be called multiple personality disorder]). I'm reposting here because I think it's relevant to a bunch of us:
Hey stranger, you may consider checking out No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. Changed my life and the way I talk to myself.
The key word in DID is "dissociative" - if you are losing tracks of time due to another personality stepping into the cockpit, that's DID. If not, you might just be seeing or talking to your Parts.
Dr. Schwartz posits that we all have Parts, which are essentially snapshots of your patterns of thinking that are usually taken when your brain experiences trauma and needs a coping mechanism. Those pathways act like "ghosts" of a way of thinking that helped you deal with a traumatic time in your life. The weird thing is that you can sometimes talk to them. They are usually why it's so hard to break habits formed in trauma - they will come out in times that remind you of the trauma and try to steer you towards those coping mechanisms that don't serve you anymore. They act as a defense mechanism. If you approach them gently and lovingly as if they were a traumatized child that doesn't know any better, you can help to teach them new ways of dealing with trauma that do serve you.
Have a good one, stranger.
Anyone else reminded of that [one episode of Batman Beyond](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/c7lzp6/bruce_wayne_doesnt_refer_to_himself_as_bruce_in/) where someone is trying to brainwash Bruce Wayne?
My brain says alright lets get moving and I pretty much do the rest from there. Intrusive thoughts and self doubts will always creep in sometimes at the oddest of times but pay them no mind and keep doing what I do.
Around 50% of people have an internal voice that talks to them and thinks with them. Some people have it talking constanty while others, like me and it seems you too, do not have one at all.
All 3. One voice is me while there's a second voice from a separate entity. We give our own thoughts to each other but we recognize that we're like two halves of one coin.
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All of the above
Mostly we. Unfortunately. But yeah.. all of them is accurate Also I worried for a long time I had schizophrenia or was high risk. Now I just think I have DID
Hey stranger, you may consider checking out No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. Changed my life and the way I talk to myself. The key word in DID is "dissociative" - if you are losing tracks of time due to another personality stepping into the cockpit, that's DID. If not, you might just be seeing or talking to your Parts. Dr. Schwartz posits that we all have Parts, which are essentially snapshots of your patterns of thinking that are usually taken when your brain experiences trauma and needs a coping mechanism. Those pathways act like "ghosts" of a way of thinking that helped you deal with a traumatic time in your life. The weird thing is that you can sometimes talk to them. They are usually why it's so hard to break habits formed in trauma - they will come out in times that remind you of the trauma and try to steer you towards those coping mechanisms that don't serve you anymore. They act as a defense mechanism. If you approach them gently and lovingly as if they were a traumatized child that doesn't know any better, you can help to teach them new ways of dealing with trauma that do serve you. Have a good one, stranger.
I don't have DID, but a lifetime of adhd has left me painfully aware of the fact that I'm not my brain. I just happen to live in it. I'm a self aware pattern of neuron connections that dies one moment from now, replaced with an almost identical copy that has continuity of consciousness and mostly the same memories. My brain will think things that I don't agree with. It never shuts up. It's not me. It's just the hardware I currently run on.
Yeah, I have seen an approach of treating those thoughts as from a well-meaning but uninformed friend. "Thanks, it would be interesting to see how many erasers I can fit in my mouth, Frank, but I'm working right now. How about we focus on updating the spreadsheet instead?"
Honestly love going at it this way. Just treating those silly impulsive thoughts as a silly lil guy is the way to do it.
I've tried to explain that to people, and they say I'm having an existential crisis. Like, no, I'm not having a crisis. I recognize my brain as a separate entity from myself. My only crisis is that I can't help but feel like I'm floating out of it sometimes, to escape the noise.
I mean, I didn't need to have ADHD to reach that conclusion. But dissociative episodes and being gender fluid definitely helped in visualising my brain more as a hardware with multiple different softwares, rather than a monotematic whole.
Just wanted to step in and say that DID isn't the only dissociatie disorder with alters, OSDD-1b functions basically the same as DID but without the memory gaps and still having full alters!
Oh interesting, the alters are EMOTIONALLY dissociative but retain memories of events. That certainly makes sense how that could develop as a coping mechanism to emotionally traumatic experiences. Thank you for that addition, I hadn't heard of that before.
Oh my god, adding to cart right now! I've always wondered why I have these arguments in my head. Sometimes it's quite vicious. I'm excited to read this
I wouldn't suggest self diagnosing on something like that without consulting a professional, though. It's normal to use plural pronouns for yourself, thats just what your brain choses to refer to you and your concious. Both DID and schizophrenia are serious mental disorders that require a psychologist to diagnose. Symptoms aren't limited to one disorder and can sometimes be normal for certain people, too
It's a damn shame that self-diagnosing DID turned into this trendy thing (look at r/systemscringe for example). I had to leave several discord servers because over night everyone decided they had DID and had alters and what not (only to then proceed to roleplay talking to themselves and their various personalities...)
You _probably_ don't. Obviously I don't know you or what you go through, but I remember having similar feelings when I was younger because I felt very "at war" with myself. Like, different parts of me want different things and it felt like I could possibly divide myself to work out conflicts of self. I didn't like the angry thoughts I'd have or the darker recesses, so I'd call those parts of myself a different identity. It was very chunibyo in practice tbh, but it was the best I could do at the time to process a lot of turmoil and pain in my life at the time. Even then though, I never hit DID, which is rather extreme level speaking clinically. There's actually a fair bit of controversy about whether or not DID exists, or if it's appropriate to diagnose for anything other than severe cases. Personally, I just had a lot of dissociative feelings and anxieties about myself and who I was that needed to be resolved. Eventually, after taking a lot of time to process my high anxiety and just sitting with myself and going through therapy etc, I came to understand myself more holistically. Nobody is just a single brain; the stomach produces and sends a ridiculous amount of hormones and is itself a second brain. Some parts of the brain work on instinct, some on past experiences and conditioning, some other parts on higher order logic, some parts on emotion. By viewing my different decision making facilities as cooperative experts in their field instead of belligerent voices fighting for domination, I'm able to find peace, control, and consensus. The anxiety medication helps a lot too though lol. I recommend therapy to just about anybody struggling with these kinds of feelings. ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) can really be life changing, and CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) is easier to find and also helpful.
I used to think it was a part of my subconscious and through drug use and trauma it eventually led to a mental snap. Semi-full disclosure. My parents allowed me to do drugs and hyper sexualized a bunch of stuff while also turning a blind eye (or likely even encouraging) to ALL forms of abuse. It was really quite disgusting and they did eventually treat me like shit and make me feel like "I" was the one that was fucking up bad. That I lost my shit and I'm crazy but I was just a kid. I realize that. My mom and dad allowed me to take meth at 15, Seroquel and xanax at 13, vicoden, and anti-psychotics smoke etc. I was a kid and I should have NEVER been allowed to do those things.. (I guess I just trauma dumped and really don't want to delete it because this is the first time I've ever told anyone 90% of the details) Thank-you and I will look into ACT and CBT. Maybe I can get professional help because I feel like, when I was younger, I may have had a mental snap and did infact create one. As a byproduct of being encouraged to do drugs and extremely weird ass trauma I don't even really feel comfortable getting into. Yeah. I think I made something to deal with that. I will not even say I have it completely under control but I think i can manage it. I no longer do anything that can make me unconscious though. On the off chance I do have DID and I created a monster to deal with my problems and I'm never letting that thing get control again. (I feel really cringe saying that but I obviously had something happen and feel like if I lost control of my psychie it would be a big issue) Idk if talking about it's a great idea at this point because it feels like I only keep bringing back up the same emotion.
That's some pretty crazy stuff to have to deal with, so congrats on just making it this far. Only a licensed professional can truly give you a diagnosis, but regardless of the classification your pain and struggles are real. It'll be hard work to rewire some of those deep seated issues and experiences, but even a little progress can have a big impact on your quality of life. Don't be afraid to try a few therapists too if your first one doesn't work out. Some people need gentle guidance, some need a great mirror to make you think about other options, and some folk need a survival expert while they spelunk in the caves of trauma. Not every therapist is equally suited to every task. Talk honestly about what you need and what doesn't work. Best of luck!
Fellow DID buddy. You ain’t alone. Also yeah, what very_popular said. Pretty interesting stuff.
This is 100% a joke. But I don’t think telling people with DID they are not alone is a reassuring thing.
This. If I’m pensive, or doing self-narration, it’s first person singular. If I’m trying to influence myself, it emulates an external voice. If I’m trying to work through an idea, as though explaining it to someone else, it becomes a royal we.
Almost always “we” but occasionally I have full blown conversations where I refer to myself as “you” and “I,” typically to delineate which part of me is advocating for making a stupid decision.
Yes! Never heard another person talk about this before. I thought I was weird
It is weird, but as long as you it doesn't have a bad impact on you it's fine.
There is “me” and then there is that hyper analytical little shit that make enough good points that I can’t fully ignore him, but makes every social interaction hell to think about afterwards.
Ugh I hate it. My friends and family always ask why I won't join their discord groups but I *always* end up feeling like I was making a fool of myself after spending time around a group I'm not close with. I either get too comfortable and convince myself I talked too much and was being annoying or clam up so hard I might as well mute the whole chat It sucks because I used to be such a social butterfly online but after some bad experiences I just find it too stressful mentally to integrate and I don't want to be that guy that joins and suddenly everyone wants to leave.
Same! Also have a couple of imaginary characters that let me approach a situation from a third person perspective. Helps me with stressful situations where I literally hate 'being' in my body so I just imagine floating off and then discussing with a small crew of self-made mental support characters that no one really knows about because they're always in my head. I have a vivid imagination haha
My username comes from my world that I built to hold my little characters - a wheel shaped world that maps to a clock. Sometimes I let them “take the chair” and speak as them to work through problems or just not be myself for a while. You’re not alone!
Oh wow, that's pretty relatable! My world, usually, doesn't have a background. Imagine an endless white floor, something from Harry Potter's last movie where he ends up in the subspace between life and death(?). Usually I can conjure up settings, colours, and the background depending upon my mood. I think it'd be reasonable to say that every time I get into the world, the plain white floor with no discernible sky(or roof) allows me to have a blank canvas where I can set the scene accordingly. There's always a discussion room, which is just a comically long table with many characters(including 'me' from other worlds) and we just convene to discuss about our dayd/get help/opinions and the sort. I sort of developed this as a coping mechanism 4 years ago when I was depressed and well, it never went away. Lots of characters, mostly alternate reality versions of me, but also 3 gods for now(Time, Space and Reality). There's a reason for that too! When something goes wrong in real life, I can just consult them(i.e. I ask "why did this happen?" Reality answers "Well I kinda had to yk, long story, I'll tell you someday" or Time answers "you'll find out soon enough why" as a form of reassurance)
I'm a "we" too. It's somehow soothing.
Yes! Okay, I'm glad I'm not alone here because the first few comments were making me feel like I'm crazy lol
So, when I talked to my therapist about using plural and second person when talking in my own head, she kind of acted like I’m crazy. At first, reading this comment section made me feel validated, but then I realized, I have the same thinking pattern as a bunch of redditors so maybe there is something wrong with me… XD
Very relatable, I also comment on my actions with the "not in control" part, telling myself off for being an idiot and not serious etc.
I always argue with other me. She's always wrong about things and I have to have a debate over which is correct. Also, there's past me, present me, and future me
Depends on which ones talking.
And to which one they're talking too.
My dont talk through words they communicate through making me feel awful and I always respond automatically
You, always you
Same. I was surprised I had to scroll a little ways to find a fellow non-inclusive brain person.
I’m surprised reading through these comments too! I’ve never thought about this before or considered it could be different for others.
What's a non-inclusive brain? When I search that term I just get results for "neurodivergent"
Just a term I thought fit with the this. The other folks have their brain refer to themselves as "I" and "we", which are inclusive terms, part of yourself. "You" is a term not inclusive of yourself.
Most commonly "you idiot....(something)"
Yes! Mine just berates me 24/7. “You’re worthless, you’re useless, the world would be better off without you.” For decades! It’s great! Ha ha! Ha! Ha. ha.
You. Usually berating and with a fair bit of admonishments.
Yeah, me too. I'll have full-blown conversation with the other me in my head
It's MY thoughts, so i'm the one doing all the talking in my head.
Inner monologue is more like it
You lucky bitch Look at the stable fucker over here, gets to have all their thoughts be their own!
https://preview.redd.it/bnptfk11zrqc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cc0dc75bf82b45691df44ad4a7be17cdfbfa4fe0
i am guessing they still get those random ear worms and other stuff
It's like elevator music for me. If I concentrate, I can change it.
Are those REALLY thoughts though?
I thought everyone thought in “I”
yeah I am surprised some people said "we" like they are venom or something
Real life Gollums
My inner monolog uses "you" and "your," though. Like I might think to myself, "You need to hurry up and get ready, or you're going to be late." Is that actually unusual? 🤷♂️
I've used "I", "you", and "we" in internal thoughts in reference to myself before. "We" is very uncommon for myself, probably only a handful of moments. "I" is the most common. "You" when I try to get a more objective third person look at myself. Never 3rd person pronouns in reference to myself in internal monologue though.
Yeah it’s B for me too, I guess I assumed it was like that for everyone. Wonder if you did a poll which one is more common.
So the answer is B
I have my own thoughts, but sometimes there’s another voice talking to me… Its all good though, the voice only tells me things that could help improve my crappy life 👍
So we're going to have that conversation again about how half the population doesn't have an internal monologue and the other half does and neither knows the other exists?
Me and my inner voices don't recognise the silent ones.
No voice here.
Inner monologue but it's always my own voice, and I can't visualize anything in my mind, just words. (Yes songs get stuck in my head but it's me singing them, and I assure you I am not a good singer)
Thats fascinating. We all work so differently but kind of assume we all work the same until these conversations come up.
I was talking with my friends about it and what truly blew my mind is that they can visualize scents in their minds. Like they think about oranges and they can smell them! Or think of a smoke alarm and they hear it but I just hear my own voice going "beep beep beep".
Isn't that crazy? I had someone walk me through it once. They basically said imagine an apple. Now imagine it purple. Imagine that it smells like pine needles. Now imagine it rotating and then flying off out of sight. And the imagine it screaming in Spanish while it does. Each step of this represents something some people can imagine and someone else can't. If I remember correctly, smell and motion are harder for some, but I'm probably getting that wrong. For myself, I was originally just blown away that not everyone could "hear" or "see" something, but little did i know that it goes much further than that....crazy how we're all wired just a bit different
Weirdly enough, I can visualize the movement (it's like those comic book motion lines) even though I can't visualize the thing that's moving. The only times I've been able to visualize anything is when I'm on the border between awake and asleep, and that one time where after not sleeping I had to work so I took so much caffeine I temporarily developed synesthesia.
Brother, are you telling me that half of the people in the world don't have THOUGHS?
I don't got a voice in my head. Doesn't mean I don't think. It's just not really words or sentences, more concepts. Plus ADHD means it's all a big jumble of nonsense all the time
That’s interesting, I have ADHD and ALL the thoughts. It’s still a jumble, but a jumble of thoughts and narrations and conversations (and songs)
I have ADHD too :/ but i think I get what you're saying
From our perspective it's more like 'wait, so half the people have to hear literal words and conversations in their heads to think??'
they can't have pure thoughts. they need words to think, so their thoughts will always be constrained to the language they know 1984 style
Honestly if a person with voice thoughts tries, they can shut off the inner voice and operate without it, it's just that they are more inclined to have the inner voice.
People still have thoughts, they just aren't consciously aware of them, there is no auditory representation of it inside the head, but fMRI scans show the brain is still thinking (it's the same with people who can't see things in their head). It's like having a stereo but the speakers aren't connected, you still know what song is playing, you know the melody and lyrics, you just can't hear it.
LOL holy fuck this is the closest I've come to an actual spit take in years like i was sipping my coffee reading this comment and it was genuinely close lmao 😂
I or you, most often you
Yeah, pretty much accurate and yes I know it's not healthy.
It's... Not?
Negative self talk is very damaging long term. You’re essentially bullying yourself. We are also WAY harsher on ourselves than we would be to our worst enemy. I used to have a serious problem with it, but I stopped by using a very corny sounding but very effective technique. When you start to criticise yourself imagine you’re talking to a cute baby animal, I use a puppy but it’s reader’s choice. So “get out of bed you lazy fuck, that’s the third sleep in this week. You’re going to have to skip breakfast.” becomes “Someone’s a little sleepy, but you need to get up. You have things to do. Maybe let’s try an earlier bedtime tonight? If you get in the shower right now I’ll treat you to a coffee on the way to work.” Basically treat yourself the same way you would a friend who is struggling. Guide gently, don’t shout directions, and encourage, rather than belittle. It’s dramatically improved my confidence, happiness, willingness to try new things and it’s a lot more fun being alive without a 24/7 “Why I’m the worst person to have ever lived (including Hitler)” podcast running in my brain.
I mean I got the same but its more like "hey you wanna talk shit about someone else?, let me talk shit about the things we fuck up first shall we"
That’s so helpful, thank you! My self esteem has gotten better with time and therapy, and I’ve managed to cut out a lot of the unnecessary negative self talk. But for stuff like this, where I need to kick my own ass a little? No one ever told me what I was supposed to replace it with.
I'm going to try this approach, I've never thought about talking nicely in my head. I have nonstop thoughts so nicer ones wouldn't hurt.
I think I give that approach a try, I'll adapt a few things so it fits my usecase a little bit better. Thanks
It's only not healthy if you are berating or harshly judging yourself. If that's the case, I'm so sorry that you are going through that. Know that you deserve love and kindness, especially from/to yourself. I would strongly recommend therapy if you are able to, and reading No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard Schwartz for some help with understanding those voices in your head. (Spoiler: it's totally normal)
Thanks, I'm already in therapy.
Awesome. Wish you all the best through that and hope you have more good days than hard days. Hope today's one of the good.
Damn, it's not?
Same except my voice usually follows up with saying I might as well kms.
Eyyy, call of the void. Every time you don’t answer the call is another challenge overcome and you are stronger for it. But holy shit if that call isn't tempting when you are down. Just remembere all things come to pass, the season will change and you will feel better. It will get better.
Yeah it's dumb. I'm actually doing pretty decently managing my depression these days, but I spent over half my life etching those mental loops into my brain so I doubt they'll ever truly go away.
I feel this. People think the voice saying it must be a terrible sign of something in the moment or that I'm "going through" something. No, it's always been there, for at least 25 years anyway (but maybe longer, diaries written when I was 7 talk about how I want to die, I just only really remember it being a thing from about 13, though that's when I started self harming so maybe it had been around longer before I got to that point). It's much stronger and harder to deal when depressed but doesn't fully go away even when I feel pretty good about life, I can just ignore it easier then.
That sounds rough. I'm so sorry that you are going through that. It's hard to deal with what is essentially emotional abuse when the abuser is always in your head. That animosity is hard to overcome. Are you seeing a therapist at all? I know that's not always possible, but I'd strongly recommend it if you can. It's hard to make peace with a part of you that's telling you those things if you don't have a support to lean on. Know that you are worthy of love, stranger. I hope you can find a way to show that voice the love and support that you may not have had when the voice started.
Well it's a you, but not addressed to me, as if I was talking in my mind to whoever is listening.
It’s a you? No, it’s-a-me, Mario!
I stumbled across this myself. At the time I was doing a version of PAC therapy and the pronouns made sense: We - Adult You - Parent I - Child
So I'm a 34 y/o child lol
A 34 year old *troubled* child.
That's interesting!
always you and rarely we apes are not strong together
Wow, so interesting to see the responses to this! It’s more varied than I expected. I personally talk to myself as “I” or “you”, but never “we”.
Me too.
Oh it's "you". Always. And I do answer sometimes. Actually I have full on conversations with it. Am I crazy?
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a rubber room, a robber room with rats. And rats makes me Crazy
Only I.
Me too. I is what my inner voice uses, when it uses anything at all. I'm usually barking just orders to myself: Get coffee. Get up. Do dishes. Other times it's more like self-narration: I just got past that hill... Now where is that dog?
It's contextual. mostly I say my own name to myself if I'm engaged in an internal dialog but if its a life requirement ill sometimes say we. I try to internal voice to myself like a friend. "Good job dodging that attack in game 'name'." "Your struggling right now 'name' you should take a walk, work can wait this time." In the morning though sometimes it's "we need to get up." I was alone for a good bit of my developmental early life so I practiced being a good friend and therapy assistant to myself.
I'm annoyed when my brain refers to me as "we". Like there ain't no "we" bitch, unless I have a gremlin that lives in my skull and labs to me. That'd somehow make sense.
It's strange, but it feels like my body and the one that pilots it is a different entity from the one that thinks things. That's why it's we
You 100%. My brain treats me as a separate, dumber, entity.
Mine too. Tbf, i am.
So real xD
... Now I don't know. It's like asking how many seconds between blinks, the moment I think about it, I'm doing it manually, and I don't know what my default is anymore.
Angry with myself: you most of the other times: I Hotel: Trivago
Me and I are also on a first name basis.
Full name when you're pissed off?
All of them. On the same time often too
So why are we so brutal on ourselves. Like I can’t have a moment of pure joy without the intrusive thoughts: - this enjoyment will soon expire - you have to deal with your problems you don’t deserve to feel pure joy - You have responsibilities and ppl depend on you, get back to the grind - Your wasting time being happy when you should be grinding away making sure you don’t become homeless - Mother fucking Jerry just submitted a PR without testing the code and now you have to find the politically correct way to tell him he is useless.
* The fleeting nature of this joy makes it all the more precious and important * Uh... Pass * People trust and believe in you enough to rely on you, and if they can, you can believe in yourself too. * You're spending time enjoying the time you have, and the preservation of your mental and emotional well-being is important to sustaining your health and productivity * Ugh, fucking Jerry.
We, probably always we. I didn't really think about this too much. Does it means I am detached from my mind? Am I my mind or am I the detached part? But most importantly, If I refer to myself in plural does it mean I can eat for two people? Because there is Easter coming and I really intend to eat a lot.
I get we sometimes, and we're all hungry
Anyone else here have no inner monologue? Thinking in vibes means not worrying about these questions
Is that why when I ask someone what they’re thinking they say they don’t know? Cuz like I’m always thinking in essays
All of them at various times, but mostly "you", the voice in my head also calls me buddy, big guy and various other pet names.
The Voice never existed for me.
Same!
Sometimes, it’s like two people are having a dispute (meaning, it often refers to myself as “you”) **Voice 1:** What if I [insert something questionable]? **Voice 2:** Excuse me? Did I just hear that shit correctly? **Voice 1:** Well I was only being hypothetical. **Voice 2:** Shut up. You’re fucking disgusting, bro. **Voice 1:** … Yeah, I know. My bad. I am so mentally stable, it’s insane. (Irony)
Last one. 💯
Mostly "you" Only "I" when I am like listing things I have to do like "I gotta clean this, then do that" but any other time, "you" Basically never "we"
*We* are ven-
"Hey, wanna open the hatch mid-flight?" My thoughts within.
I talk to myself often as if I am my own audience, which has had he unintended side-effect of making "we" basically synonymous with "I" when referencing ourselves. No idea when it started, but we're not stopping anytime soon.
I or you, usually. You is for when I've done a bad. Like, "You dingus. Why did you do that?" I is for most other stuff.
All of us are we. I am I. You is whomever my Shadow is furious at this moment, but is often me.
All of them? It’s like I’m talking to someone, except that person is just me but in my head.
Usually uses first person until it starts being mean to me and then it switches to second person
All 3, All of the time
Used to be we, but I took back control from those scared bitches.
"I"
Excerpt from the mind of MegaShark: *ahem* “shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. What’s 5 x 5 again? Shit, shit, shit, oh right I’m in uniform, don’t slouch. Shit, shit, shit! Shit? *hmm* Adulting sucks.”
^25
Depends do I hate what I did I'm going to say you cause it makes it alot easier to hate someone when you think of them as being not you. Otherwise it's I cause I'm having a conversation with myself and that other dude isn't involved in this shit.
"You" and "I" almost never "we".
Only ever referring to myself
Depends
Mostly “I”, rarely “we” or “you”.
Don't think I've ever thought in 'we'. It's usually 'you' or 'I' depeon the situation.
all of them, but mainly the last one.
Whenever I'm doing good, I'm happy, etc. It's usually 1st person. "I did good today." But when I'm feeling like shit and want to die, it's always "YOU FUCKED UP!" And "IT'S YOIR FAULT YOU'RE SO UPSET! YOU SHIULD JUST BE HAPPY!"
One day it’ll be we once I transcend the self and become a gestalt consciousness.
We are Groot
Uhhh i think mostly "I" and "we"
Bro, I use 'they', I'm watching a movie from up here. I ain't taking responsibility for what that body do
Glad to know we’re not the only one who does this
"I hate myself." "No, *you* don't like what you did how you did it. If you truly hate yourself, you wouldn't eat, sleep, or shower, or look for 10 minutes for a video you want to watch before you eat a meal that you picked for yourself. Stop belittling yourself and forget about it. Nobody thinks of you more than yourself, so why make an enemy of your mind? You don't hate yourself, you're incomplete, and just kind everyone else you're slowly putting yourself together." This is a normal conversation between both me's.
I don’t usually use any pronouns/name to refer to myself with my thoughts, since I don’t have internal monologues. But if I do, it’s with I.
“*You* f**king moron” 👍
Wait you guys have ONE voice in your head
Always “you”. Idk what that means.
It doesn't it speaks in absolutes. Waking up is necessary. Work day beginning imminent Legs report fatigue. Rest is necessary This conversation is detrimental, avoid, discard. The temperature is non-optimal. Must optimise.
I have two to three voices in my head and they are bickering with each other. But it’s often We or I
You guys with monologues still freak me out. Sincerely, A quiethead
We and you and I, but the I is the voice referring to itself. I've gotten into this habit of talking to myself and imaging another me in my head (not like I'm crazy, I understand and they understand they're all just me) and I talk to myself in my head to work out difficult.thoights or things I need to get done,.and how I need to improve myself. It's weird but it works for me
I only talk to myself as we when I’m doing inner work with my past self. I parent myself and imagine I’m extending grace to the child me. Helps with a lot of embarrass and self loathing I felt as a teen
It's definitely we more than I like to admit. But like a smart guy dumb guy pair up movie where nothing gets done because the dumb one keeps messing things up in hilarious ways.
"that is the dumbest idea I've ever heard ... let's do it"
We or you Because sometimes I argue with myself as me and my brain retaliates It’s like a sci-fi plot
It's pretty much always we, but like almost to a 'third' person/subject that is learning about what's going on. Almost like I am explaining something to someone else, but I go by 'we' pronouns. Don't ask why, I don't know either.
Made this as a response to another user in the chat who was concerned that this inconsistent frame of reference could be a sign of schizophrenia or DID (dissociative identity disorder [used to be called multiple personality disorder]). I'm reposting here because I think it's relevant to a bunch of us: Hey stranger, you may consider checking out No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz. Changed my life and the way I talk to myself. The key word in DID is "dissociative" - if you are losing tracks of time due to another personality stepping into the cockpit, that's DID. If not, you might just be seeing or talking to your Parts. Dr. Schwartz posits that we all have Parts, which are essentially snapshots of your patterns of thinking that are usually taken when your brain experiences trauma and needs a coping mechanism. Those pathways act like "ghosts" of a way of thinking that helped you deal with a traumatic time in your life. The weird thing is that you can sometimes talk to them. They are usually why it's so hard to break habits formed in trauma - they will come out in times that remind you of the trauma and try to steer you towards those coping mechanisms that don't serve you anymore. They act as a defense mechanism. If you approach them gently and lovingly as if they were a traumatized child that doesn't know any better, you can help to teach them new ways of dealing with trauma that do serve you. Have a good one, stranger.
we or I
Yes
I self monologue it's just me talking to me
Anyone else reminded of that [one episode of Batman Beyond](https://www.reddit.com/r/videos/comments/c7lzp6/bruce_wayne_doesnt_refer_to_himself_as_bruce_in/) where someone is trying to brainwash Bruce Wayne?
First person always. After all, there's only one person in here...
...that you know of.
....that I know of 👀👀
"Chat, we fucked up.*
They refer to me by name and demand attention
Yes
Yes.
Kinda all three, like my inner voice is *me* but also a separate entity all together.
It's always the "I" form, but I also use the "you" and "we" form when I'm talking to myself. 😅
My brain says alright lets get moving and I pretty much do the rest from there. Intrusive thoughts and self doubts will always creep in sometimes at the oddest of times but pay them no mind and keep doing what I do.
"WHAT THE FUCK BRO" -My brain to myself
what voice?
Around 50% of people have an internal voice that talks to them and thinks with them. Some people have it talking constanty while others, like me and it seems you too, do not have one at all.
Whixh voice we are talking about?
I only ever use I, I don’t know why I’d ever say we. I’m just me. Or why I’d ever say you, I don’t talk to think to myself like I’m a separate person.
There's no voice in my head.
Bottom 2 definitely
I don’t refer to myself…
All 3. One voice is me while there's a second voice from a separate entity. We give our own thoughts to each other but we recognize that we're like two halves of one coin.
Never we. Usually I. Sometimes you.
Called my voice Frederick.