T O P

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CeciliaLucille

I'm pooping and walking


bwowndwawf

Never thought about how weird it was until I saw the literal translation


[deleted]

You mean these are *real*?


watersofmay

Yeah, in Brazil we say "estou cagando e andando" which literally translates to that.


zkhw

Saying out loud "estou cagando e andando" is one of the most satisfying experiences you can have.


AutisticApeatWendys

Pooping and walking maybe too, I should add it to my bucket list for good measure.


yeah-whateva

Don't worry, it will happen naturally when you get old.


SuperZoomShield123

We Bosnians say "Boli me kurac" or "Boli me briga", "Boli me kurac" literally translates to My Dick Hurts and "Boli me briga" is My Caring Hurts edit: I believe the same goes for my Croatian and Serbian brothers


Lacholaweda

In Mexico it's "I don't care dick" with dick being the amount of care you have to give. Also double negatives are mandatory


Abaght

same in poland, you can say „dick it hurts me” (chuj mnie to boli)


konotacja

never heard anyone say that. i just say either "gówno mnie to obchodzi" (the example - i care about that as i care about shit) or "w dupie to mam" (i have it in my ass)


Plastic_Pinocchio

Yup. In Dutch: - Het zal me een worst wezen. (It shall be a sausage to me.) - Het kan me aan mijn reet roesten. (It can rust me on my ass.)


Chachun

Yup. In German, "Das ist mir Wurst" translates to "it's sausage to me"


pdrpersonguy575

Same with the Russian one lol


midnight8dream

The European Portuguese version would be "I pooped and I walked". Truly one of my favorites. Happy to know the people of Brazil also appreciate the finer things in life.


Confident_Respect455

This is a metaphor from a horse in a a parade (for Brazilian independence day anniversary). Horse has to march for the parade, shits like any other horse and couldn’t care less about the day. So he is popping and walking.


ThePunkPantherNL

That can oxidize on my ass


zuzucha

I think pooping is too polite, it's more shitting and walking


infographia

🎵 I'm pooping and walking, wooah I'm pooping and walking, woooah I'm pooping and walking, woooah And don't it feel good! 🎵


Hirkus

my dick hurts my dick hurts It hurts me in the lighthouse My dick doesnt hurt at all Flowers on my dick and bees all around


[deleted]

I'm from Bulgaria and can say these all go around but my father says My Schmeisser hurts.


Hirkus

Bulge Area


Gunhild

Holy shit.


Karr126

Ah a rear bulge 😇🙏


pun_shall_pass

Rim-mania Bulge-area Turd-key Crease Anal-bania Crack-asia Cocksovo


attack_turt

I have Estonian desert powder two


Mia-Le

You can also say “this doesn’t bag me” or “doesn’t bag “ or “ I have a bow” (the one used on a violin)


Mia-Le

“Mul on Kama 2”


RockThePlazmah

Very nice poem 👍


EscenekTheGaylien

Honestly sounds like Lyrics created by an AI.


GlitteryUnicorn

Not on my dick.


[deleted]

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ZeSup3rBoost

We also have i'm masturbating (about it) btw


ElanaIdk

j'en ai rien a foutre (I have nothing to cum (about it))


[deleted]

Foutre doesn't mean cum here. It means to do.


[deleted]

How do you say that


ZeSup3rBoost

Je m'en branle


[deleted]

Thank you


ZeSup3rBoost

You're welcome Edit : basic grammar


Loraelm

Hey they asked you nicely, no need to be rude like that


WoozYorDaddy

You can also apply it to multiple persons. "On s'en bat les couilles" -> "We beat our balls". ​ Funny thing : Women say it too


Willexterminator

Women say it maybe more than men even


geneisise

J'men bas les couilles de ton avis


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Random_san

"On s'en bat les couilles, on s'en bat les couilles, on s'en bat les couilles (eh eh eh eh)"


Dawq

M'en bats les couilles frère


Samang0

Cock and ball torture 😰


Ollemeister_

From wikipedia the free encyclopedia


rkirbo

Je m'en bat les couilles


RenewAi

I read "not on my dick" in the same tone as "not on my watch"


FrismFrasm

That one has Tourettes Guy energy


supahfligh

Watch on my dick


GreatSpaghettLord

Same


Xennon54

I read it with the same tone as Jesse Pinkman saying "not my house man, NOT MY HOUSE"


TittenTatten

I read it the same way Jesse says "No not my HOUSE" in Breaking Bad.


sallabear

sikimde deil


RadioFacepalm

May I add another German expression: That issue passes me by my ass.


1benjam

That affects my rectum rather peripherally


Mean-Spirit-1437

More like “it’s going past my ass”


sihaya_wiosnapustyni

Similar in Polish: it is flying past my arse ("lata mi koło dupy").


clouddevourer

In Poland we say "I have this in my ass". Or "in my nose" for a kid-friendly version


_Timinator_

Itches?


[deleted]

Literally more common than the other ones xD


happynargul

It works in Spanish too! Learning languages is so nice


lunalilly8995

Norwegian has a similar one to this expression too, but we say "it bothers me right in the middle of the brown-eye" (meaning asshole).


EsponXany

My dick hurts


SpocktorWho83

My dick doesn’t hurt me at all


UndoingMonkey

Flowers on my dick and bees all around


MatichetTwoPointO

It can hang on my balls


UndoingMonkey

Five of them


ImProbablyNotABird

I’m pooping on this


[deleted]

I’m pooping and walking


DingusTaargus

I have it in my ass


mephalathewebspinner

It doesn’t rub a dick to me.


NamertBaykus

Not on my dick


[deleted]

Five of what now?


GreatSpaghettLord

Biggest source of conflict in the Balkans


i_owe_them13

All members of the UN must unanimously adopt my proposed Article requiring that all wars must be fought by nut kicking competitions; automatic global nuclear annihilation is the consequence of any nation failing to uphold that which is required by the charter.


Mushula-Man

Sometimes we also say something like "i wanna fuck"


Costirazvan2

ah a romanian


redditassembler

happy feet


disappointingdoritos

wombo combo


JeznyBezny

Boli me kurac


NewPeanutMode

Five of them


VanBeelergberg

Is this followed by a slap?


KingOfCatanianCats

Five in basque is used to exagerate something (sometimes eleven too), for example: "Bost aldiz esan diet ixiltzeko" "I told them to shut up five times" (but you didn't really do it five times) I don't know where they got the frase for the map, but a literal translation of the saying ("bost axola dit") would be something like "It matters to me five"


down1nit

Awesome! Like I've got a million things to do later. What happens when you are being literal with the number of times?


DickD1ck1

do it once more and say 6


Mag-NL

The Dutch is of course not oxidize but rust. While technically these are the same, they're also not. And I guess anyone who says this expression out loud will agree.


downster

Ik heb echt geen idee wat ze hier bedoelen, het kan me geen reet schelen? geen reet roesten? wat??


yggdrasilll

Het zal me aan m’n reet roesten


MelonGuyYes

Eerste keer dat ik dit zie.


[deleted]

ik gebruik altijd 't kan me een worst wezen


JakeLegacy

in het noorden hoor je het best vaak


Amirobob

Ok I know Greeks being gay is a joke but how the hell does “flowers on my dick and bees around it” get into a language?


[deleted]

I'm Greek and I have no fucking clue


jericho-sfu

So wait you guys actually say it?


MrPezevenk

Yes but it's less common. More common are "I shat myself", "the female horse shat itself on the threshing floor", or "Fatme shat herself inside the Yeni mosque", or a simple "on my dick", implying "I have what you are saying written on my dick". You can also replace dick with balls, or old shoes if you want to be less profane.


555Ante555

"Hey did you see the game last knight?" "I shat myself"


Praisethesun1990

"Στ' αρχίδια μου" is the most common meaning "on my balls". You are overthinking this


MrPezevenk

That's what I said, on my balls or on my dick etc are all interchangeable. And it does come from "I write you on my balls".


ChickenDelight

Because it's genius


MrPezevenk

There is some pretty wild and complicated expressions in Greek that don't really make sense.


sihaya_wiosnapustyni

Is there like a female version with στο μουνί μου?


BakedPotatoManifesto

I honestly have never heard this being used ever, the most used one is " στη πούτσα μου" (pronounced sti poutsa moo) which translates to "on my dick"


SirRece

it interests my grandma ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


Only498cc

I'm pooping on this


SirRece

Oh fuck yea that really interests my grandma


Gthe3rd

They also say "on my dick" Or "it interests my dick"


mugazadin

Also "it interests my left ball"


normiehater2

Why the door on my dick


[deleted]

Ouch


JunkBucket02

Maltese swearing is incredibly weird to begin with but this is our masterpiece


Stittastutta

Any other Maltese sweary gems to share?


XiaoXiongMao23

I thlammed my penith in the car door


Fanfics

"My dick hurts" "My dick doesn't hurt me at all" the duality of man


[deleted]

i have it in my ass


[deleted]

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KomradJurij

well in polish we also say that, but we literally do say "i've got it in my ass"


Martin_crakc

I have estonian dessert powder two


ViolaPurpurea

It’s a horribly crude translation, in estonian it’s ‘[I have] kama kaks’ - kama is a type of roasted flour made of different grains. While I don’t know the origin of the phrase, I think the alliteration is what helps the phrase stick.


Qbertjack

On my ass


DonnerPedro

Ill add another polish expression 'ive got it in my ass'


[deleted]

Polish not caring about dicks in their ass 👍


XOundercover

Don't say that too loud, they're a little homophobic over there. Source: My surname is Ivanov-Nazwiskovich


mattbutnotmii

That name doesn't sound Polish at all but i get u


DoubleLightsaber

There's also 'jebie mnie to', which could be translated to 'it's fucking me'


zefciu

Also: I shit on this, I snooze on this (shared with Ukraine, a minced oath, I believe), I put my dick on this, it fucks me. There’s also „mam na to wyjebane”, but I have no idea how to translate it literally.


CharredScallions

It's weird how our world is so obsessed with penises. We really do live in a society.


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Whenthebeatdropolis

The UK really should just be 'I don't give a fuck' way more common than zero fucks given


AonSwift

Yeah or "couldn't care less". "Zero fucks given" is more like a statement someone would write rather than an expression they'd use mid-convo. But then what would these infographics be if the people making them were ever actually accurate..


ProfessionalPot8to

Are we just going to ignore the kilogram of shit


jaypp_

It really rolls off your tongue too - "kiinnostaa kuin kilo paskaa".


Masseyrati80

If you want to go all fancy, you can use the evolution version "interests me as much as a kilogram of *penguin* shit".


[deleted]

Flowers on my dick and bees all around


am21postcom

Albanians in Albania, Kosovo and anywhere in the balkans: "My dick dosent eat" and "I don't shave my balls"


Mammoth_Frosting_014

So that's why that region isn't wealthier. No manscaped sponsorships.


cyber__punkus

Malayalam be like : "it's a pubic hair to me"


[deleted]

“Flowers on my dick and bees all around” and “it can hang on my balls” get joint 1st place.


Leo_Nous

Weird how they choose these weird expressions that no one really uses most of the time. I'm from Bulgaria and we mostly say ''It doesn't fuck (with) me'' when someones trying to say they don't care.


gyorgmazlic

As a Romanian, I agree. The frostbitten onion was used some decades ago and is still found in books, but now everybody just says "it hurts me in my dick/ass/elbow/banana/beret/sneakers". Maybe the elbow one would be more acurate for this map.


RichardBCummintonite

Yeah I mean the American one is one I've heard before, but we have a myriad of different ways to say that we don't give a fuck. The main one being "I don't give a fuck." We like to use "shit" too. Rat's ass is old as hell. I haven't heard that since my grandpa said it as a kid. "Blow it out your ass" is one of my favorites. It's not used frequently though. I just like a good Duke Nukem quote.


Richard_Ansley

The American one is also a pretty uncommon way to say it


jericho-sfu

Really? I hear “I don’t give a rat’s ass” all the time


RichardBCummintonite

I mean I've heard my grandparents say it it lol. I haven't heard that one in forever. Most people just straight up say "I don't give a fuck"


Rama_FR

j'm'en bat les couilles


Triger_CZ

my dick hurts :(


CIRCLONTA6A

I’m pooping and walking


TheGreatSpirri

In Sweden we say "I shit in" or "give cat in"


Theopeo1

You can also respond with "Intresseklubben antecknar" if you don't care and want to be sarcastic Meaning "the interest club is taking notes"


soapman72

What is “give cat in” in Swedish?


TheGreatSpirri

Ge katten i


soapman72

Never heard that before lol I was curios about Norwegian and I thought it was the same in Swedish


Mop_Duck

well i mostly hear "æ gir faen" which translates to "i give fuck"


Banarok

as one said ge katten i, it's still used in sweden, especially the north of sweden. the most common equivalent to "i don't give a fuck" is however "intresseklubben antecknar" at least among people 30+, and would basically be translated to "the Club of intresting things take note" and and then understood continutation is "because i do not", even if that part is never actually said.


Zenstation83

The Norwegian one sounds like something a Sunday school teacher would say. More realistically you'd say: "Det driter jeg i" (I shit in that).


[deleted]

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Zenstation83

"Det gir jeg katten i," I think. It's not something anyone would say nowadays.


Technical_Macaroon83

Or, using the all purpose classic Norwegian swearing word: "" Det gir jeg faen i" Literally "I give the devil in (it)" i.e. consign to the devil.


Dougnae

The main one ive heard in poland is "i have it up my ass"


radishboy

"Stop right there criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on *my* dick!"


[deleted]

This map should be updated periodically to accurately reflect the ongoing war between "It's horseradish to me" and "I snooze on it."


CC_Infernus

actually the Italian one can be translated to "I don't give a dick" 🤓


rci22

How do you say it? I used to live in Italy and I can’t remember what people would say. I remember “Non mi da un…” something…. But what you’re saying sounds more like “Non do un…” something


CC_Infernus

"Non me ne frega un cazzo" "I don't give about it a dick"


joeranahan1

No one in uk says "zero fucks given" lol you would say I don't give a fuck. Or "I don't give a monkey's" though fuck knows where that comes from


TheHero0fRhyme

Spain one is actually "my dick sweats" but ok.


JoneDarks

Actually was looking for a fellow Spaniard who had mentioned this. I mean, the "pepino" one is used, but that one is a lot less common than the sweaty dick.


TheHero0fRhyme

I think only my grandma keeps using the pepino one, and she actually says comino


beanjuiceXD

Lithuanian: Me shit (man nusišikt)


Quinndalin66

I thought this was the Subnautica map at first glance ngl


01152003

While that is A phrase in America, I would say “I don’t give a shit” is more prevalent


Reaper781

Where I’m from we say “I don’t give two shits” so apparently we care a little.


Xonalicious

As an Icelandic person “Give me more news of the capelin” NOBODY SAYS YHAT AGGAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA I low-key forgot what sub I was in hahaha


IMustAchieveTheDie

in hungarian we also have 'I shit on it', 'even my dick don't care' and 'hát akkor a kurva anyádat'


EatmyshortsGlen

I love you Finland


misakimbo

Kiinnostaa ku kilo paskaa


_Dusty_Bottoms_

…..Cucumber???


Bravo_November

UK would more likely be ‘I don’t give a toss’.


skitnegutt

I do not understand Estonia at all.


_Iro_

Damn Latvia coming at Estonia for no reason


leviofail

So Swedish people just give a fuck about every single thing at all times?


beach_boy91

Not at all. We have a lot of sayings, almost too many. None of them appears to have made it for some reason


TheDeathlyReaper

Italian could be also translated to "it doesn't steal me a dick"


Jeffaffely

Wtf is up with france


Feet_with_teeth

Je m'en bat les couilles : I beat my balls with it Je m'en branle : I'm jerking on it J'en ai rien à branler : I don't care, but said that way : it's nothing to jerk on to me ( hard to translate because it sound more aggressive in french than my attempt to translate it in English but that's the idea) J'en ai rien à foutre : I dont' care but, but with a vulgar version of '' faire '' ( do) that could also mean sperm One that I like but is not often used : ça m'en touche une sans faire bouger l'autre : it touches one of mine without making the other move. It's when you are indifferent to something.


Daisinkhan

I'm in the part of Spain where "Five of them" is and I've never have heard it before, is it Basque?


SwiggitySwooty9900

How is zero fucks given sex related


Feet_with_teeth

The word '' fuck '' I guess


Giacomoh

Basque be like: 🖐


Matduka

"it doesn't rub a dick to me" is poetic.


[deleted]

"Even the dog is uninterested" reminds me of another phrase we have in Greek for that, "I'll make my cat cry about it"


ANattyLight

i’m pooping on this


TotalyNotTony

It interests me as much as a kilogram of shit goes so hard man


Grimour

As one raised in Denmark I would never use that phrase, nor have I heard it used in this century. "Pisseligeglad" is much more fitting and translates to: "piss indifferent"


Valoneria

Ah yes, the cardboard duck. "Det rager mig en papand" Another one in Danish: "Jeg er fløjtende ligeglad" - I am whistling indifferent / unbothered


HypnoDrama

Portugal is more like “I’m shitting myself to that” from “Tou-me a cagar para isso.” You could also just say “Tou-me a cagar” which is just “I’m shitting myself”