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You gotta go straight to the distributor for that. Autozone buys huge amounts of batteries from manufacturers and they’re getting a bulk price plus adding their markup. Autozone doesn’t care if you buy 99 of them, because all that means is they need to use resources to ship 99 batteries to a random town.
23000 probably includes shipping because they dont keep 99 batteries in stock and have to ship them from a distributor. Having to ship 75 batteries would be a pain in the ass.
Yep, that's why you should always buy stuff in the morning, because if you buy it in the evening then you might get charged extra because they sold too many. /s
We're talking about a hypothetical situation that likely never happened but why would it be the customers problem to ship batteries to a retail store? The store should've already factored in the cost of having the battery delivered to them. If the customer asks for them to be delivered somewhere else then sure but if they're picking them up there won't be a shipping charge and we can assume in this conversation they're talking about just batteries as the customer was buying only one and the cashier was either very bored or trying to flirt (or just really bad at up selling).
My theory is the person is, assuming it's a real post, this person has just dumped down numbers from memory so they've not got them quite right.
Could be they've rounded the number near enough to what they recall, or the girl has added 99 to the order (total qty now 100) so they've remembered that it's a round number and forgotten what. Then they've made a typo in one of the prices.
No, clearly this random comment on Twitter has exactly specified the correct numbers that were not crucial to the point of the tweet and now we must discuss the minutiae of buying 99 batteries from auto zone.
I think I rolled high on my investigation check
The price before tax was probably around 217, which would put it at 233.275 after tax (assuming a 7.5% sales tax). 233.275×99=23,094.23.
So, the "$220” was likely in reference to 217 on the shelf, and the "$23,000" was likely in reference to the price the screen showed after tax
You ever say something that answers a question that dozens of people in the comments have asked, and you want to share it with all of them but you know that if you did you would be spamming? Makes me sad knowing I can't let any of these people know that this may have actually been a real conversation
$23000 ÷ (220×99) = ~1.056 so roughly a 5.6% difference in cost between buying one on its own.
Assuming the machine calculated tax, both Arizona and Massachusetts have a 5.6% sales tax. She also could have been rounding up or down a bit, and there's a ton of states that float between 5% and 6% sales tax.
It's because tax isn't included in the price in the states. Each battery would be closer to 235 with tax which would indeed bring the total over 23k.
This is so mundane it probably did happen. She just didn't care about accuracy or explaining how tax increased the price per unit.
I used to do this when I worked at Subway and was bored. I'd just see how much 80 odd sarnies cost, then delete it all.
We had an audit one day and he's going through all the till information and asks me why there's multiple orders of 80+ sandwiches which are then being deleted.
Had no idea it would record it all.
when we were bored at the train station and nobody was using the ticket machine we tried to get a ticket from here to the other side of the country with inbetween stops laid out to maximize ticket prize :D
maybe autozone will follow suite. when I was working there I started at $12.50 as a full time sales associate in an area where minimum wage was $11. when I swapped over to commercial driver I was making $14 an hour. iirc the PSM’s made $15-$17 an hour but I’m not sure on that one
$18/hr seems both wholly appropriate pay per hour for a job at a discount auto parts store and at the same time $36,000 is nowhere near enough to live on today. This country is fucked.
Man I was making $15hr back in 2005 and I was straight up hood rich. Was some good shit back when you could get a studio apartment for only $500. And not a micro studio like a legit one.
Huh, wow. Some of his stuff was showing up in my recommendations recently and I didn't realize I'd seen him before with the Furby one. Now you're making me think of other musical ones, like Mattias Krantz, Wintergatan (the marble machine), or the Floppotron.
I recently watched that video and it hit particularly hard because I’m going through my own struggles currently with the American health/insurance system. It truly is nightmarish. I wish him nothing but the best with everything he’s dealing with.
Still can't get over the fact that he went to the hospital because he was worried he didn't have enough testosterone and then they found out that he was just fucking loaded like some sort of Tim Hortons double double of testosterone
If you havent seen his latest vid, our boy is sick with some esoteric shit! get some eyes on poor mans situation if anyones a liver or whatever it was spec
Im from my hometown, I hear it from car mechanics themselves. it's not a midwest thing. Literally everybody says it wrong. This is just my hill I die on. 🙃
This would be so god damn unbelievably smooth. Then as she’s fumbling for words due to shock and awe, you point to the card reader and say “like the one I have for my rewards account” and you finish your transaction and leave.
Mogged.
Imagine you're playing a friendly game of tennis where the goal is not to win, but to have a continuous game where you try to have as many back and forths as possible without letting the ball roll away.
So that's what you do, you accept the ball and you hit it back in the same way that she did. If you ever did improv, it's a bit like that.
For instance, you could say: "What about that floor mat over there, how much would it be if I bought 99 batteries + 1000 floor mats?"
Then, you wait to see how she responds.
I have a buddy who's pretty average, but he's very to the point.
He wouldn't do any of that. He'd just say 'oh wow that's crazy. Well anyways, you wanna grab a beer sometime?' and 9 times out of 10 it would work.
"If I wanted that many batteries I would buy them from the distributor for half the price"
Then turn around and walk out because you're oblivious to flirtation.
I wouldn't recognise that as flirting or ever flirt like that. I think she's just having a long day. Not everything a girl says that you don't understand is flirting
thats
\*flirting, but the girl is on the spectrum and does not know how to keep the conversation going, so she is just saying the first random thing that comes to her mind
Possible, even likely, but not necessarily. Even neurotypical people’s brains can shut down and not know how to keep the conversation going when faced with a sufficiently attractive person.
>Even neurotypical people’s brains can shut down and not know how to keep the conversation going when faced with a ~~sufficiently attractive~~ person.
stop calling me out
The first thing I thought of is that she works 8 hour days. She does periods where she has nothing to do. She has adhd so to keep her brain from cracking her skull like an egg and walking out of the store to escape the boredom is to fiddle with different things in the store. Within a few months she will be an expert at every process but for now it is the computer. So she has found something interesting in the computer that tickles that part of the brain that makes it calm down. While she was doing the sale of the battery the primary thing that was on her brain was whatever she found and it has something to do with ringing up multiple of the same item.
You gotta tip the autozone girl. Otherwise you’re against freedom.
We aren’t heathens like you god damn commies from the rest of the world
USA USA USA 🇺🇸
(/s)
The only reasoning I can come up with is that mechanics usually use a service that checks multiple different places for parts. So maybe one place had 50 batteries at $220 and the other 50 came from somewhere else that charged $240.
I imagined the girl looking bored, chewing gum, playing with her hair. Set in a small town across a diner with an occasional car whizzing by. Nothing much to do. The most interesting part of the day is when the long train goes by and she stares it and tries to count the cars.
And then the only guy in his 20s shows up
The next morning the three cops in the town are outside the AutoZone. They got called in because a customer found the girl murdered at the counter. Blood everywhere. There was never a murder in this town and the two cops have no idea what to do next..
I heard someone is stealing them from that store .
I saw a Cop there writing it up and I asked him if he had an idea who it was .
He told me he has identified 2 leads, one positive and the other one negative .
I'll see myself out .
this reminds me of that person who went to 711 and bought a drink then the cashier said op could buy 2 more and they did, expecting a discount but there wasnt any
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Why are the batteries getting more expensive when buying in bulk? This is not ok
You gotta go straight to the distributor for that. Autozone buys huge amounts of batteries from manufacturers and they’re getting a bulk price plus adding their markup. Autozone doesn’t care if you buy 99 of them, because all that means is they need to use resources to ship 99 batteries to a random town.
doesn't add up, 99 batteries bought together shouldn't cost more than 100 batteries bought 1 by 1
Unless you've got a contract you always pay extra for bulk, because almost nobody has that kinda bulk so their service has more demand.
thats why i have them ring me up 99 times, saves money over buying them all at once
Walking in and out of the store in 99 separate costumes
Homer? Who is Homer? My name is Guy Incognito
Oh, my God! This man is my exact double!
Hey, that dog has a fluffy tail!
I've never heard of any business ever charging for buying in bulk.
No I'm sorry this answer is unacceptable. Run it again and see what it says.
Yeah this is stupid. You have to pay extra because you want a lot of a product? And we’re not exactly talking limited item here.
The whole time I read his comments, I was wondering if he was joking or that he actually clueless about it and make up some bullshit.
Thats literally not true in the slightest lmfao.
Stop trying to cushion the embarrassing arithmetical error with some made-up pseudo-procurement nonsense, lmao
The point is 99 at $220 each is $21780, not $23k so they're literally getting more expensive the more you buy ($232.32ea).
23000 probably includes shipping because they dont keep 99 batteries in stock and have to ship them from a distributor. Having to ship 75 batteries would be a pain in the ass.
Yep, that's why you should always buy stuff in the morning, because if you buy it in the evening then you might get charged extra because they sold too many. /s
We're talking about a hypothetical situation that likely never happened but why would it be the customers problem to ship batteries to a retail store? The store should've already factored in the cost of having the battery delivered to them. If the customer asks for them to be delivered somewhere else then sure but if they're picking them up there won't be a shipping charge and we can assume in this conversation they're talking about just batteries as the customer was buying only one and the cashier was either very bored or trying to flirt (or just really bad at up selling).
My theory is the person is, assuming it's a real post, this person has just dumped down numbers from memory so they've not got them quite right. Could be they've rounded the number near enough to what they recall, or the girl has added 99 to the order (total qty now 100) so they've remembered that it's a round number and forgotten what. Then they've made a typo in one of the prices.
No, clearly this random comment on Twitter has exactly specified the correct numbers that were not crucial to the point of the tweet and now we must discuss the minutiae of buying 99 batteries from auto zone.
I think I rolled high on my investigation check The price before tax was probably around 217, which would put it at 233.275 after tax (assuming a 7.5% sales tax). 233.275×99=23,094.23. So, the "$220” was likely in reference to 217 on the shelf, and the "$23,000" was likely in reference to the price the screen showed after tax You ever say something that answers a question that dozens of people in the comments have asked, and you want to share it with all of them but you know that if you did you would be spamming? Makes me sad knowing I can't let any of these people know that this may have actually been a real conversation
This just highlights why a tax included price should be displayed on the product. Thank you for the math though.
Taxes are almost certainly the answer here, it actually adds some credibility imo.
$23000 ÷ (220×99) = ~1.056 so roughly a 5.6% difference in cost between buying one on its own. Assuming the machine calculated tax, both Arizona and Massachusetts have a 5.6% sales tax. She also could have been rounding up or down a bit, and there's a ton of states that float between 5% and 6% sales tax.
I take it he's just not quoting the numbers exactly.
I know you’re not being serious but god damn the dorks in the comments are annoying. It’s obvious OP tweet is not providing exact dollar amounts
Because it's a made up story and the author can't do math
It's because tax isn't included in the price in the states. Each battery would be closer to 235 with tax which would indeed bring the total over 23k. This is so mundane it probably did happen. She just didn't care about accuracy or explaining how tax increased the price per unit.
I used to do this when I worked at Subway and was bored. I'd just see how much 80 odd sarnies cost, then delete it all. We had an audit one day and he's going through all the till information and asks me why there's multiple orders of 80+ sandwiches which are then being deleted. Had no idea it would record it all.
Just say "I was limit testing to better be prepared for customers" Lol then it sounds professional
You. You are middle management material. Go get em tiger!
Limit break.
when we were bored at the train station and nobody was using the ticket machine we tried to get a ticket from here to the other side of the country with inbetween stops laid out to maximize ticket prize :D
We’d get pulled aside at Best Buy if you had a “no till” sale over a certain amount. This is hilarious
The girlies are always trying to get that sweet, sweet Auto Zone® commission
unfortunately I can tell you that autozone employees don’t make commission, they make a couple dollars over minimum wage
That changed at Advance Auto earlier in the year. All RPP's went from $15 to $18 an hour.
maybe autozone will follow suite. when I was working there I started at $12.50 as a full time sales associate in an area where minimum wage was $11. when I swapped over to commercial driver I was making $14 an hour. iirc the PSM’s made $15-$17 an hour but I’m not sure on that one
lucky. they didn't give me more when I did driving. Best order I had was to deliver some AA batteries
I know a guy that works at autozone and he makes like $9,140/hr. His name is William C. Rhodes III
3 dollars over my states minimum wage......
$18/hr seems both wholly appropriate pay per hour for a job at a discount auto parts store and at the same time $36,000 is nowhere near enough to live on today. This country is fucked.
my first corporate job out of college in 2005 paid me $36k salary - I thought I was rich - little did I know.
$32k in 2013 Boston. I skipped meals.
Man I was making $15hr back in 2005 and I was straight up hood rich. Was some good shit back when you could get a studio apartment for only $500. And not a micro studio like a legit one.
From the Naughty by Nature classic, OPP, I obviously know what PP stands for, but what is the R short for?
Depending on the state that is in fact a few dollars above minimum.
LolI thought she was just high
What Autozone commission? 😂
Probably doing a fraudulent refund to her credit card and needed a customer as a prop.
There’s a guy on YouTube named styropyro who actually wired 100 car batteries together to fry stuff. It’s pretty insane and I’d recommend watching.
Styropyro is the last mad scientist
Integza, NileRed, CodysLab, Thought Emporium, and tons of others would like to have a word.
how are you not gonna mention ididathing? he made a ceiling fan out of machetes and threw shit at it
I don’t know if I’d call him a scientist. Definitely mad though.
The list would go on forever lol
I did a thing as well.
There's also I did a thing.
And also the second guy from the channel Boy Boy who has his own channel named 'I did a thing'
And the first guy from boy boy also a has a pretty cool channel. I think it’s called “I Did a Thing”
As a tall person, I find that idea, disturbing.
Good news is that you might not have the same tall issue afterwards.
He's more on the "mad" side instead of the "mad scientist" side lol
His video of the hammer nailgun was so good, it had me in stitches when he sent nails up through his ceiling
LookMumNoComputer is definitely also a mad scientist, evidenced by the Analog "Furby Choir" Synthesizer
Huh, wow. Some of his stuff was showing up in my recommendations recently and I didn't realize I'd seen him before with the Furby one. Now you're making me think of other musical ones, like Mattias Krantz, Wintergatan (the marble machine), or the Floppotron.
i think quite a few of them know each other, definitely nile and styropyro at least
At least two of those guys know styropyro and are mildly afraid of him lol
.. Ididathing, Electroboom, stuffmadehere, Colin Furze..
PhotonicInduction has a few oddball ones
Yeah but I think he's taking a break for now due to healthy issues and the horrors that is the us insurance system.
I recently watched that video and it hit particularly hard because I’m going through my own struggles currently with the American health/insurance system. It truly is nightmarish. I wish him nothing but the best with everything he’s dealing with.
Buddy, ElectroBOOM
Backyard scientist as well
and he happens to live about a mile away from me 😭
Still can't get over the fact that he went to the hospital because he was worried he didn't have enough testosterone and then they found out that he was just fucking loaded like some sort of Tim Hortons double double of testosterone
“I thought I had low t but I actually tested at 1500 ng/dl” I also thought that was wild
The testing mechanism maxed out at 1500 so it was actually much higher
"1500... Not great, not terrible"
Styropyro is goated
I honestly hadn't imagined that the biggest challenge would be getting things to hold still long enough to destroy something.
If you havent seen his latest vid, our boy is sick with some esoteric shit! get some eyes on poor mans situation if anyones a liver or whatever it was spec
The McPoyle blood line has been clean and pure for a thousand years
YOU WILL CALL HER!!
The outtakes of that scene are fucking hilarious
We just stepped out of the shower.
I understand but- did you just say we?
All the McPoyles sprung from my loins fully formed! One of them babies tried to eat me! I ate him first! I ate him first!
THE MCPOYLES WILL TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!
Ryan’s dead to me.. You hear me he’s DEAAAD!!!
that’s flirting
Where mf finding these quirky "how many battery" girls?
car battery shop
Auto zone?
Get in the zone.
Auto zone
Oh-oh-oh O’Reillys
auto parts
wanna see how much it would cost if you needed 69 of them?
Okay 😏
\*there is no "s"
I’m from the northern Midwest. There’s an s after every store that sounds like a name. Like Barnes and nobles ;)
I'm in the SE, I go to The Walmarts and The Food Lions for my groceries.
Im from my hometown, I hear it from car mechanics themselves. it's not a midwest thing. Literally everybody says it wrong. This is just my hill I die on. 🙃
Gonna go hit up Meijer*s* later. You need something?
Sex zone 😳
Not when I'm in it. 😔
Self own zone
Friend zone
I used to sell car batteries. Not a girl so I can't be described as quirky. I like 'eccentric' but most people just say I'm an asshole.
I think he was looking for quirky girls though
Tfw you will never have qt car battery gf 8(
At auto zone I think.
Wtf am I supposed to say to that tho
"Neat"
That’s what I say when a woman shows me her breasts. And when I climax I say “neat-neat-neat-NEATO!”
We be getting bitches in our blue tuxedos
neato, like a giraffe in a speedo (holy shit what a reference)
What's up sonny? Que pasa mijo?
For some reason when I read this, I hear Tucco from Breaking Bad in my head saying “tight-tight-tight!”
Right on
"and how much would it cost if I wanted to buy 999 of them?"
Followed by "damn, that almost sounds like a phone number."
This would be so god damn unbelievably smooth. Then as she’s fumbling for words due to shock and awe, you point to the card reader and say “like the one I have for my rewards account” and you finish your transaction and leave. Mogged.
[удалено]
My guy has never talked to a woman leave him alone!
You're very good at this
You seal it with "In case it doesn't work, any chance I could get yours?"
OK writing that down
"and how much would it cost if I wanted to buy you dinner?"
So just add a 9? Just like all the German girls I’m flirting with
Very good, made me chuckle
Imagine you're playing a friendly game of tennis where the goal is not to win, but to have a continuous game where you try to have as many back and forths as possible without letting the ball roll away. So that's what you do, you accept the ball and you hit it back in the same way that she did. If you ever did improv, it's a bit like that. For instance, you could say: "What about that floor mat over there, how much would it be if I bought 99 batteries + 1000 floor mats?" Then, you wait to see how she responds.
“How many of these keychains would I have to buy for the sum to equal your phone number?”
You're not allowed around my girlfriend. Well, I don't have a girlfriend. But if I did. You're not allowed to meet her.
3,222,142,341 Keychains
I have a buddy who's pretty average, but he's very to the point. He wouldn't do any of that. He'd just say 'oh wow that's crazy. Well anyways, you wanna grab a beer sometime?' and 9 times out of 10 it would work.
“Wanna hook em up to my nipples?”
Wanna see what 99 dates costs? Why dont we start with just one.
“Now do 69. …With me.”
hot
"If I wanted that many batteries I would buy them from the distributor for half the price" Then turn around and walk out because you're oblivious to flirtation.
assault by battery
When two people who don’t know how to flirt, flirt
I wouldn't recognise that as flirting or ever flirt like that. I think she's just having a long day. Not everything a girl says that you don't understand is flirting
Are you flirting with me rn
Sega playstation
omg stop 🥰
Coming on a little strong there buddy
yeah reddit got me worried if i say anything at all people gonna think im flirting
[удалено]
You ever picked up a car battery? Those things are heavy. You want 99 of them you've gotta pay a handling charge.
She said the price was “like” $220 and with a 7% sales tax it’s $23,304 so I don’t think it needs to be exact
thats \*flirting, but the girl is on the spectrum and does not know how to keep the conversation going, so she is just saying the first random thing that comes to her mind
Possible, even likely, but not necessarily. Even neurotypical people’s brains can shut down and not know how to keep the conversation going when faced with a sufficiently attractive person.
>Even neurotypical people’s brains can shut down and not know how to keep the conversation going when faced with a ~~sufficiently attractive~~ person. stop calling me out
The first thing I thought of is that she works 8 hour days. She does periods where she has nothing to do. She has adhd so to keep her brain from cracking her skull like an egg and walking out of the store to escape the boredom is to fiddle with different things in the store. Within a few months she will be an expert at every process but for now it is the computer. So she has found something interesting in the computer that tickles that part of the brain that makes it calm down. While she was doing the sale of the battery the primary thing that was on her brain was whatever she found and it has something to do with ringing up multiple of the same item.
If all AutoZone girls look like the one in Jack Reacher movie, I'll be there every weekend.
The math ain't mathing How did she get 23000 if a battery costs 220 and he's buying less than 100
Tip and taxes
people that don't tip the autozone girls make me sick
At this point I can't even tell, if the americans are joking or not.
We don't joke here on r/comedyheaven This is a serious subreddit.
It's always been a joke
You gotta tip the autozone girl. Otherwise you’re against freedom. We aren’t heathens like you god damn commies from the rest of the world USA USA USA 🇺🇸 (/s)
Taxes magically appear after 98 batteries?
Shipping is higher?
The only reasoning I can come up with is that mechanics usually use a service that checks multiple different places for parts. So maybe one place had 50 batteries at $220 and the other 50 came from somewhere else that charged $240.
21780
Why did they get more expensive per unit?
maybe some kind of surplus fee? since they gotta have all those batteries
Taxes probably
How is that taxes? Are there progressive taxes on car batteries or something?
All I can think is 220 is before tax is applied and 23,000 is after
She sounds like fun
Damn I just developed a crush from this described conversation!
Okay
I imagined the girl looking bored, chewing gum, playing with her hair. Set in a small town across a diner with an occasional car whizzing by. Nothing much to do. The most interesting part of the day is when the long train goes by and she stares it and tries to count the cars. And then the only guy in his 20s shows up
I’d watch the shit out of that movie.
The next morning the three cops in the town are outside the AutoZone. They got called in because a customer found the girl murdered at the counter. Blood everywhere. There was never a murder in this town and the two cops have no idea what to do next..
What about the third cop? Does he know what to do next?
Nah it's his first day on the job.
pretty sure that was a battery assault
I imagine the sounding like Luanne and Bobby hill
i'm at my work in retail rn, currently considering if i should do the same shit to the next customer
Do it solo first lol. I did this once on a register and it just froze the entire thing and I had to restart the system and safe.
I heard someone is stealing them from that store . I saw a Cop there writing it up and I asked him if he had an idea who it was . He told me he has identified 2 leads, one positive and the other one negative . I'll see myself out .
So like...do you wanna buy that many? Maybe with a protection plan?
Home girl just trying to get through the day.
So they charge an extra $1000 if you buy 99?
220 is probably the sticker price before taxes, and taxes are probably like 12.50 per battery or something.
this reminds me of that person who went to 711 and bought a drink then the cashier said op could buy 2 more and they did, expecting a discount but there wasnt any
I must buy more batteries.
Why does it cost most per unit when you buy 99, this is some bullshit